1.

SHUT THE WINDOW

SEB and OLLY are best mates who also live together.

SEB How many times do I need to tell you about the bathroom window?

OLLY I don’t know why it’s such a big deal.

SEB Because that cat from next door gets in and it for sure has pissed all
over my towel.

OLLY That was on the floor.

SEB That’s not the point.

OLLY Pretty sure that’s why there’s that silver rack thing attached to the wall.

SEB Just shut the window, Olly, geez.

OLLY And the hook on the back of the door could hang things on that too.

SEB Why do you have to be such a dick about everything?

OLLY I’m not. You are.

SEB I’ve asked you to shut the window how many/ times

OLLY /Like, two/

SEB /And you just ignore me/

OLLY /No. I forgot/

SEB You’re just like, ‘Whatever Seb, what you think doesn’t actually matter
at al / because you’re a giant dickhead who messes everything up-

OLLY /Oh, piss off. I am not. You are overreacting-

SEB -like can’t even hang a towel on a rack. Idiot.

OLLY What, mate? You alright?

SEB Caro and I broke up.

1
OLLY Ohh. Oh no. Seb?

SEB You don’t have to pretend you’re upset, I know you hate her.

OLLY I don’t hate her.

SEB looks at OLLY knowing this is a lie.

OLLY I just don’t…trust her.

SEB What?

OLLY I don’t think you should trust anyone who loves tennis as much as she
does.

SEB Tennis is fine.

OLLY Also, she thinks Adam Sandler is funny, I mean, mate, that should’ve
been a red flag.

SEB Those are two pretty superficial things.

OLLY They’re not. They’re important.

Beat.

I do care that you’re upset, though. Genuinely.

SEB Thanks.

OLLY Who called it off?

SEB She did.

OLLY Why?

SEB Cause she looked through my phone.

OLLY And what did she find in your phone?

SEB Messages.

Beat.

To Zoey.

OLLY I thought you and Zoey agreed to not talk to each other.

2
SEB We did.

OLLY But? You can’t help yourself, Seb! Mate! Zoey is-

SEB The love of my life.

OLLY She is not the love of your life. You loved her, yes. But Zoey made her
choice.

SEB I don’t think she’s happy with that choice.

OLLY Did she say that? Has she said those exact words? Has Zoey said,
Sebastian, I shouldn’t have moved to Canada because I want to be
with you. Has she?

SEB It is implied.

OLLY You are-

SEB What?

OLLY Delusional.

SEB Oh, because your relationship is so bloody excellent.

OLLY This isn’t about my relationship.

SEB You don’t even like Hannah.

OLLY I think Hannah is…nice.

SEB Nice?

OLLY Hannah and I are both fully aware of what our arrangement is.

SEB I don’t think Hannah would call what’s going on between you an
arrangement.

Silence.

OLLY Was Caroline upset?

SEB Yes. Of course.

OLLY What did you say?

3
SEB Very little.

OLLY Did you apologise?

SEB Yes. I said the Zoey thing is complicated and-

OLLY -and never going to happen.

SEB You don’t know that.

OLLY looks at SEB.

You don’t know that.

OLLY It’s implied.