WORKSHOP 2

What do I need to know about improving my academic writing

style?

Warmer:

Padlet link:
https://sydney.padlet.org/alanabryant2/e5bwselrb3xcokmn

Finding your ideas

Task 2

Discuss the picture in grps / Answer Qs below and take notes about the changes this image
presents

1. Describe the picture?

Group 5: man on the phone leaning against a camel in the desert
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2. Where is the man?

Group 5 the desert

a. Desert in Egypt

3. What is he doing?
a. The man is talking on the mobile phone whilst leaning against a camel.

4. In what ways do you think his life is different from the life his parents lived as children?
a. Phone - telecommunications

5. Have the changes from technology all been positive?

a. In this context and time period the changes would have been positive
i. However mobile phones would have been a luxury and potentially
expensive resulting in not all people having one.
b. Currently there are both positive and negative impacts of advances in
technology.

6. What is one invention over the past century that has changed people’s lives
dramatically?
a. Electronic devices
b. Internet
i. Connectivity worldwide

7. Describe how this innovation has impacted many societies both positively and
negatively.
a. Positive: It is easier for people to talk although there are some distance.
b. Negative: More false information distributed
i. People aren’t socializing enough.
P

Task 3
Collaborative writing:

In your group, you will have 10 mins to write about a specific invention or innovation that has
changed your life. Find your group below:

Example - The Car

We think the car has changed our lives more than anything else. Driving a car has given us
independence to go wherever we want whenever we please. It means I can visit my friends and
family at a time that suits me and I can go shopping or on a country drive whenever I have the
time. I find it hard to stick to unreliable public transport timetables and the trip is always so
much longer. I think most adults today find cars convenient whether for work or for their
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leisure time. Cars today have so many modern technological features which make them easy to
drive and these changes make me feel safe and happy when I’m driving.
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Room 1
● What is the invention? The internet
● How has it changed you or the way you do things?
- Communication
- Information
● Who else has been affected by this invention?
- Method
- Tools (Mobile devices, Laptop)
● How do you feel about these changes?

Write your response here:

The internet changed society significantly by providing instant access to abundance of

information and facilitating live connections globally.
There are numerous benefits from the invention of the internet such as access to on-line
courses, softwares, large database, entertainment and systems to facilitate international
business. However, the overreliance on technology, health issues, fraud and cyber crimes
are among a number of negative impacts the internet has on life.

Room 2
● What is the invention? Internet
● How has it changed you or the way you do things?
● Who else has been affected by this invention?
● How do you feel about these changes?

Write your response here:

Nowadays, the internet is claimed to be a state-of-art technology innovation that has

significantly changed human being’s lives. With the presence of the internet, real-time
information becomes more accessible. A great example is that GPS devices can be easily
used for travel purposes in a wide range of locations. Additionally, multiple firms could
benefit from the modern internet. People can work collaboratively in the international lens
as well as increase sales through online advertisement in challenging times, covid-19
outbreak for instance.
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Room 3
● What is the invention?
● How has it changed you or the way you do things?
● Who else has been affected by this invention?
● How do you feel about these changes?

Write your response here:

- Our chosen invention is Airplane/Aeroplane.

- It enables people/students to study abroad. We are also able to have global
relations which makes our country prosperous. And meeting different people differs
greatly than communicating through letters.
- Pilot, new inventions bring new jobs. Several people/professionals have indicated
the impact of this invention for example, decreasing cost of travelling by air, able to
work in another country and easier to travel.
- These changes impacted the education system in a good way and they also
accelerated the development of the global economy. Besides, People’s lives are also
improved enormously by these changes. However, it also made the disaster more
widespread. For example, the current example (COVID-19) or damaging the country
with bombs.

Room 4
● What is the invention?
● How has it changed you or the way you do things?
● Who else has been affected by this invention?
● How do you feel about these changes?
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The invention of the internet has had a significant impact on the world. Global connection
has been achieved due to the internet and its advances in terms of online platforms and
accessibility. For example, social media platforms and online payments have greatly
increased people’s usage of the internet through mundane activities. However, while the
invention of the internet has been an enormous leap in human technological advances
there are numerous negative impacts that the internet is associated with. These include,
cyberbullying, social insecurities, hacking and technological warfare.

The Internet provides us the flexibility to search for information and news. Additionally, it
also provides the facility to provide online connections such as in Zoom classes. However,
one of the drawbacks of the internet is the provision of fake news and the complexity of
identifying those from the true information. In the worst cases, these may reduce the
trustworthiness of the internet.

Despite these negative associations the internet is one of the more advantageous
inventions created by humanity.

Room 5
● What is the invention? Airplane
● How has it changed you or the way you do things?
● Who else has been affected by this invention?
● How do you feel about these changes?

Write your response here:

a. The invention of the Airplane is one of the most beneficial innovations in our era.
One of the main features is that it enables us to visit another countries. Airplanes
decrease the time we used to spend in the case of visiting another country. The
invention itself gives another advantages such as understanding another cultures,
languages, as well as meeting new people. However, the pandemic is preventing us
from travelling so there is a limitation in going abroad.
b. We travel a lot because airplanes has made it easy to do so. It is easy to meet family
and friends overseas and explore different countries. We feel more connected with
each other and the world, which has made us better people. Because it is so easy to
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travel, and because we have the ability to travel frequently, we believe that the
invention of airplanes has also given us the opportunity to learn different languages.
This has given us the chance to discover new ideas that we wouldn’t otherwise have
explored.
c. Most of modern working class lives far from their hometown or country, by using
airplane they can visit their families more frequently. For instance, by using
airplane, it enables them to visit their family during weekend and back to office on
Monday. This is impossible to do without airplane, when normally it take days to
reach their hometown. Airplane can connect people and allows people to explore
the world more.
d. Airplanes bring great convenience to people and save much time so that we do not
need to waste time on traveling. However, airplanes produce harmful gas and can
aggravate global warming.
e.
f.

Room 6
● What is the invention?
● How has it changed you or the way you do things?
● Who else has been affected by this invention?
● How do you feel about these changes?

Write your response here:

Social App is one of the most beneficial inventions in people’s life. There are great
advantages such as socializing with each other even if people are in different areas. It could
provide people who have “social phobias” with more comfort and convenience to
communicate with each other. Another obstacle to using social apps is the uncomfortable
feelings due to the less reliableness of apps. Especially for the people who prefer face to
face communication, they feel more comfortable to talk in person. All the people have
been affected by social apps, but maybe except old men, because people reach a specific
age cannot accept too many new things. And it’s also unfriendly to the people who don’t
like to chat through mobile phones. To sum up, the one of the beneficial effect is that it
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allows more people to socialize and make a life conveniently. On the other hand, some
people may argue that they feel less connected with each other.

Room 7
● What is the invention? Wireless Technology (E.g Airpods)
● How has it changed you or the way you do things? Convenience,
● Who else has been affected by this invention? Technology Companies
● How do you feel about these changes? So can be convenient but has its downsides too

Write your response here:

An invention that has changed the world is the production of wireless technology. An
example of this is the popular device known as Airpods. Compared to the old earphones
that had wires, the airpods provide a more comfortable and convenient atmosphere to the
users. Instead of going through the trouble of untangling the wires and manually inserting
the earphones into their devices, users would not even have to worry about possible
entanglement of wires and can simply connect their devices with the press of a button. Due
to the high market demand of wireless technology, the majority of technology companies
now sell a range of products that have a wireless feature or component. A downside of this
added convenience to our daily lives is that it makes us more complacent, resulting in us
easily misplacing our earphones. There is also a noticeable increase in price that is
associated with wireless technology compared to the standard wired earphones. This
added cost for wireless technology may be worth the convenience, however it poses a
possible financial challenge for people that are not able to afford the increased expense.

Room 8
● What is the invention?
● How has it changed you or the way you do things?
● Who else has been affected by this invention?
● How do you feel about these changes?
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Write your response here:

The invention chosen was a washing machine. It has been able to change the way we clean
our clothes (previously washing clothes by hand was the dominant method) etc and how
efficiently water is used. It has also enabled us to clean more clothes without it being time
consuming. This invention has affected many people, mainly those who have economically
independent households. It is able to save time for family members to not focus on
washing and instead do other things such as other chores or public work. Personally, our
group feels that the washing machine has been quite a positive change with all the benefits
listed above.

Changed version.

One of the most significant contributions to modern society is the washing machine. The
technology has been able to change the way clothes, bedding and other pieces of fabric are
being cleaned since previously washing by hand was the dominant method, as well as how
efficiently water is used. It has also enabled individuals to clean more clothes without it
being time consuming. This invention has affected many people, mainly those who live in
economically independent households. Furthermore, it is able to save time for family
members to not focus on washing and instead do other things such as other chores or
public work. In summary, the washing machine has been a positive change with all the
benefits listed above.

How do I write my ideas in academic language ?

Task 4:

● Try to improve your original Innovation text

● Focus on reorganizing your language to create a more formal text
● Replace your vocabulary with more academic options

Task 5:
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Go to: kahoot.it

Decide whether the thesis statements are strong or weak.

Keep in mind that moderate statements can be developed into strong statements, there is just
something missing.
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How can I improve my thesis statements?

Useful language suggestions:

1. X is a major problem as …
2. Of particular concern is X due to …
3. One of the main obstacles for X is …
4. One of the greatest X challenges is…
5. A key issue In relation to X is …
6. X is a common issue characterised by …
7. It is now well established that X can …
8. X has led to the decline in /decrease of …
9. X is a growing concern/problem worldwide due
10. The main challenge faced by many researchers is the …
11. Lack of X has existed as a global problem/ issue for many years and…
12. X is a major worldwide problem with a primary cause being….
13. Xs are one of the most rapidly declining/ increasing categories of …
14. X is the leading cause…….
15. Exposure to X has been shown to be related to adverse effects in …
16. There is an urgent need to address the ongoing concerns of X by …

Task 6 - Final Task

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https://sydney.padlet.org/alanabryant2/e5bwselrb3xcokmn