Remind Me To Smile

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/35228836.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: Multi
Fandom: OMORI (Video Game)
Relationship: Basil/Sunny (OMORI), Aubrey/Sunny (OMORI), Kel & Sunny (OMORI),
Hero & Sunny (OMORI), Aubrey/Basil (OMORI), Aubrey/Basil/Sunny
(OMORI)
Character: Sunny (OMORI), Mari and Sunny's Mother (OMORI), Kel (OMORI),
Aubrey (OMORI), Basil (OMORI), Hero (OMORI)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Self-Hatred, Past Abuse,
Childhood Trauma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance,
Polyamory, Inspired by Music, Recovery, Past Child Abuse, Other
Additional Tags to Be Added, (Pretty Much the usual tags for an Omori
fic huh?), Burnt Sunflower, Eventual Fluff, Not Beta Read,
Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm
Language: English
Series: Part 1 of Walking in The Opposite Direction
Stats: Published: 2021-11-20 Completed: 2023-01-27 Chapters: 19/19 Words:
65760

Remind Me To Smile
by HereticMagus

Summary

Four Years. Four years since Sunny was forcefully dragged away from Faraway following
the divorce proceedings. Four years spent in an unfamiliar city with a father who didn't
consider him his own child. Four years Isolated from the people he so desperately craved to
see again. But four years enough for even the strongest to give up. And Sunny was far too
weak to keep on hoping.

And yet after one court hearing on a lonely November afternoon, he finds himself back in
his mother's arms and heading back to the town that was the backdrop of every dream these
past years. But is Sunny strong enough to accept this outcome? Strong enough to accept the
help he needs?

Notes

Hello

Whilst I have some experience writing otherwise, this is actually my first attempt at
properly writing a fic. I appreciate everyone whose taking the time to read this, and
especially anyone who takes the time out of their day to comment on this. Even if you don't
like it, I'd like to hear your thoughts.
 Everything Beautiful is Far Away
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Far above the city, a bird soars, just above a thick layer of clouds, gliding along the wind. The
air feels cool and clear. In the corner of its mind, it questions where it will end up, but it still flies,
letting the wind guide it across the sky. It doesn't know where it's next meal will come from, but
that doesn't matter either.

As it breaches the clouds, the stimuli of the bustling city draws its attention, tempting it towards
the ground where the people are engaged in their daily machinations. However, it simply continues
gliding to wherever fate takes it. It spies a perch stop a roof, and chooses that spot to rest, as it
shifts directions until it finally flaps its way down to the edge of the roof.

The bird looks around rapidly as it stands at attention before finally allowing itself a moment to
relax. It searches for a moment of respite, a moment purely for itself, before it will fly off again, to
where, no one but it can truly guess. Maybe it too wishes it could stop and smell the roses more
often. Escape from the lack of control. And at that moment, Sunny finally escapes his dazed state,
on the floor of the bathroom, head facing the ceiling. He winces, his face is more pale than usual.
His mind isn't quite caught up with him, but he doesn't have the time to let it.

He stands up, his legs quivering as he does, and cleans himself and the floor, shoving the towel
as far back into the cabinet as he could, before finally turning off the sink. It still hurts, but it's been
long enough that it's... Stopping. He takes another look in the mirror. He doesn't recognize the face
staring back at him. Maybe it's the state he's in. But even before he lived here, he never really paid
attention to his own face. It was like that flower Basil once mentioned. Plain. Simple. Modest.

But beneath the fog clouding his reflection like a thick layer of frost, Sunny stared at the deep
bag under his right eye, and then turned his attention to his hands. His fingers were longer and the
callouses were all but gone. He looked into the water, draining down the sink. However slowly, his
life was passing him by. He took an unsteady breath before opening the cabinet back up. He knew
his father would be upset if this black eye hadn't gone down by the time their next court hearing
came around.

Court. He grit his teeth as he thought of it. Back when his father had first gotten custody of him,
every hearing left him breathless, almost on the verge of tears. He was barely able to think
properly, wanting to scream every time, but never mustering the courage. Time after time, his
father maintained an iron grip on his only son, while his mother could only watch from a distance
as he was marched away yet again.

This is the 4th year since he moved away from Faraway Town. Well, 4th year and 20th day.
Sunny had been counting the days since he came here, and even at this point, a small part of him
refused to stop. Like he would lose something precious if he stopped counting the days till... Till
something finally changed. Till he wasn't trapped in this unending torment. He wondered what
would happen once he was an adult, and his father didn't need to house him anymore.

Sunny was forced out of his own thoughts by a banging on the bathroom door, flinching
immediately. Nothing will happen, he thinks. Just walk past him and nothing will happen. He takes
a few deep breaths, and opens the door back up. His father doesn't say anything this time, they
simply walk past eachother. He's following orders after all. He didn't used to follow orders. He
used to think fighting his father might make him give up and let him go back to where he wanted to
be. The bruises and welts he had received over the years had shown otherwise. He stopped trying
to undermine him a year after he started living in this apartment...

And after soon after that, he stopped hoping for anything better. Sunny used to wish every night
for his mom... His friends... Even Mari. To save him. To stop this pain. On the days when his
father was especially unstable, He'd tough it out, thinking about how everyone must be waiting for
him to come back. It had become his only solace on those cold and lonely nights, begging his
friends to help him escape This torment. But every wish went unanswered, no matter what he did.
And he understood why.

He deserved it. He may as well have taken Mari from his father. He used to wonder what he had
done to deserve this, but it was obvious. He was dead weight. To him. To Mari. To his mother.
And his friends. The thoughts used to go through his head of how to make it up to his father, how
to make up for being such a failure. But he'd long since given up on that too. He already knew he
had a knack for ruining everything, so it was easier to give up before he messed everything up
again. Mari may not have said it, but he felt it every time she told him off when he screwed up their
practice with every little mistake. And now she was gone, and it had always been his fault.

So instead of silently praying for anyone to help him, he'd escape into his head instead.
Dreaming of the people he wanted to see again. He didn't remember the last time he had dreamt of
anything else. The dreams weren't always good. Sometimes his friends were angry with him.
Sometimes they got violent. He didn't always survive to the end of the dream. But he accepted
everything. Even when it hurt, he wouldn't fight, he wouldn't run. Because he knew it was the only
way he'd get to be with them from now on.

And so yet another day was spent in his Daydreams, as the hours passed in an instant. He
dreamed of Aubrey, a small part of his brain wondering if she ever got to dye her hair like her and
Mari always talked about. His heart was still... Confused about Aubrey. He tried to suppress those
feelings as he grew older, but... It was hard to.

He thought about Kel. He was in Highschool now too, wasn't he? Maybe even on the basketball
team. He had gone to school for a year in this city, but now his father had him meet with a tutor
once a week. Said it would he better for him. School in Faraway was better because Kel could
always sit next to Sunny when he needed a moment, to calm himself.

He wondered about Hero. He always said he wanted to be a doctor... Medical School must be
tough, he hoped he was doing well. There were so many things he wanted to say to Hero. To
apologize. To beg forgiveness. To tell him that Mari loved him till the end. But words like that
would be worthless coming from a failure like him. The failure that took his love from his life.

He Remembered Basil. He felt a tightness in his chest, like Aubrey, but tainted by a bitter
memory. Basil was... He didn't want to think about what happened. About what he they had seen.
Her black hair covering her face. He was the only person outside of his family who had seen. He
hated it. Because of his own weakness, his own incompetence, he'd hurt another one of his friends.
No, more than a friend. Sunny ignores the feeling in his chest after this. He doesn't want to engage
with it. With any of it.

His mind drifted deeper and deeper as his daydream turned violent. Aubrey's foot hit him in the
stomach. Sunny watched himself in an out of body experience, as the four of his friends took turns,
taking out their hurt, their anger, their sadness, on him. While Mari watched, keeping her face
straight. Sunny was smiling. At least here he could make things right. Every day he let them make
things right. Make him feel the consequences of his failure.
 And yet, he is dragged out of his Daydreams by his growling stomach. Great. He hadn't eaten
today. His father should have some leftovers in the fridge. He would have learned to cook for
himself like Hero, but last time he tried, he burned himself and had to listen to his dad scream at
him for what felt like hours. Just another mistake from the crown prince of failures.

Sunny stared out the window as he microwaved his leftovers. Observing a bird perched on a
ledge outside, before a gust of wind came and the bird let itself glide along with it. Sunny felt like
smashing a hole into the window. It didn't make much sense why. So he shut it out of his mind as
he went to grab his food. Need to eat regularly this week. His father would be angry if he didn't
look presentable for the court hearing. Another week before he had to watch his mother cry again.

He took a solemn breath as he sat down to eat, mixing together the leftovers into a gooey mess
before chowing down. He didn't even remember what food this was his father had gotten. It's not
like he ever had a choice. Even on his father's good days, the best option he could get is him going
to the corner store and asking him if he wanted a drink. And he still wouldn't ask what drink.

He listened to the sounds of the shower as he played with his hair, unable to eat another bite of
food. He wasn't hungry anymore. He rarely was. If it was his choice he probably would have
stopped eating years ago, finally finished the job. But... He was too much of a coward to. So
instead he lived with a temporary relief instead. He rubbed his arms and grimaced.

He wanted to taste Hero's cooking again. He didn't deserve it. He wanted to hear Kel laughing
again. He didn't deserve it. He wanted to smile when Aubrey held his hand. He didn't deserve it.
He wanted to hold Basil as the two of them slept. He didn't deserve it. He wanted to be back home,
back with his mother. With his friends. A worthless failure surrounded by people that make him
think he's something worth loving.

His stomach groaned as he forced himself to take another bite of food.

Sunny had stopped paying attention to these proceedings long ago. He sat seperate from his
mother and father, in a daze. Zoning out was the easiest way to avoid the emotional torment of
these hearings. Of the ways his father would insult and berate his mother in the eyes of the law.
Had Mari been the only thing keeping their marriage together? Good job sunny boy, you killed a
marriage by driving your sister to- Sunny brought his hand up to his mouth and bit the side of it.
He quietly thanked God that no one was paying attention right then.

The progression was mostly normal, his mother talked, then his father talked, then the judge
talked, but This hearing had alot more screaming than before. Mostly from his father. His mother
was... Calmer. Maybe she had finally given up, like him. Maybe this would even be the last time
they saw eachother. He hoped his father would let him say goodbye. He didn't want to see his
mother hurting herself like this, for a failure like him. Whenever she spoke, his father would look
furious, as he slammed on the table, before the judge warned him, earning him an angry glare
before he sat back down.

Sunny wondered when he'd finally escape this. Every time he tried to it never worked. No matter
how hard he tried, he was always stuck watching days pass into weeks bleed into months and fade
into years. Powerless. Weak. Pathetic. He didn't mean to be this pathetic. It was just how he felt.

His mother would pull a manilla folder out of her bag and hand it to the bailiff. The Judge was
handed the contents and began to peruse them. As a judge, he didn't let his eyes betray his
emotions, but sunny could see him glance between the folder and him quite often. He looks to his
father to ask a question. For the first time, his father doesn't know what to say. He stammers. The
judge soon tells him something. Probably about the content of the folder. Suddenly a loud slam, as
 his father began yelling. If he hadn't already zoned out years ago, he wondered if this would have
scared him.

The screaming just escalated from there. Sunny was confused. It was just going to end up the
same as always. Why was his father so angry this time? Maybe he felt like Sunny's mother was
wasting his time. Well she was wasting hers too. She didn't need to care about a pathetic excuse for
a human like him. She should have just left him here so long ago. It would have been better for
everyone.

The gavel hammers down long enough for Sunny to be brought back to reality. Hearing his
father toss a couple more insults his mother's way before sitting back down. Ah yes. The ruling.
Sooner than usual. Maybe because it's Always the same. Maybe the judge knows it too, so he's just
saving everyone the trouble. 'Sunny Suzuki's Custody will henceforth be transfered to his mother',
same as always. Same as always. Same as always...

Sunny didn't even internalize what he was hearing as he saw two security guards rush in to grab
his father, who had already begun to approach his mother, fists clenched with rage as the guards
forced him back. As he was marched away, he turned his head to look at sunny. The look in his
eyes... It felt like the same he had given him when he chopped down the tree. The same pair of
Grey eyes stared into his own. They were the same as his own but he still felt those words crawl
down his spine.

'You aren't my child.'

Why was he so angry. Sunny wanted to start crying. It wasn't until he was lead out of the room
by one of the guards that his brain finally caught up with what he had heard. The ruling wasn't the
same. Something had changed. He was in the custody of his mother. Suddenly, he felt someone
grab him from behind. He shuddered. He wanted to scream. To run away. When his father grabbed
him, he knew that was the time to be scared. He was so angry, he knew this was going to hurt. That
was, until he heard his mother's voice. For the first time in years, he heard her talk to him in that
soft tone she used when he was younger.

"Welcome Home sweetie."

Sunny didn't know tears could feel this warm.

Chapter End Notes

Music Notes:

The Title of this whole work is from Gary Numan's 1980 Album "Telekon"

One of my personal favorites of his discography, it's probably his most pure synth
record on offer. His songs about paranoia and disillusionment really pair well with the
instrumentals, along with the androgynous Android persona he took in early years.
Many people may know him for cars, but songs like This Wreckage and the
aforementioned title of this fic have always hit me on a much deeper level that I can't
quite describe.

The Title of This Chapter is from Grandaddy's 1997 Album "Under The Western
Freeway"
One of my all time favorite bands. I can't really describe exactly why I love them, but I
know a part of it is the singer, Jason Lytle's, almost exhausted delivery on many of his
songs. Not like he's putting in no effort, but more that to help drive home many of the
stories, he affects this weary tone that really helps sell the loneliness in many of their
songs. I also chose this title for a different fic idea before I came up with this current
iteration, which made this whole name fit much better!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my silly little ramblings about music.
In some ways this fic is also an excuse for me to share my musical interests. It means
the world to share the songs I like with other people.

-Magus
 Especially for You
Chapter Summary

Sunny Enjoys the slightly bitter taste of coffee as he tries to suppress his own
bitterness, Before he finally arrives in the backdrop of his past four years of
daydreams.

Chapter Notes

Thank you so much for the outpouring of interest for the first chapter. I was originally
going to wait a little longer to post this one, but I decided against it. Hope you enjoy~

See the end of the chapter for more notes

It's a dark room. The walls are clean. But behind them the eyes stare at him. They're his eyes,
but he can't control them anymore. Each gaze feels like being stabbed. He wants to cry but he can't.
He sits silently in the dark room, barely breathing as the eyes grow larger. They're no longer
hiding, every inch of these walls are staring at him. He closes his own eyes. But he can't. He can't
control his eyes. His own eyes stare at him. He is a fool. He can't escape what he created. The eyes
all close. And now a suffocating abyss swallows his world.

Sunny woke up again. His surroundings confused him for a moment, till he finally remembered.
He was... Leaving. He was in his mother's car, In the passenger seat as she changed the radio,
turning from a news station to what seemed to be a college radio station. She looked over to him
and smiled.

"Morning sleepyhead. You woke up at a good time. We've only got an hour of driving left." She
said, taking one hand away from the wheel to ruffle his hair. He felt his body shiver, before he
looked to the panel beneath the radio.

"You can turn it up if you're feeling chilly." She said, as Sunny immediately turned up the heat.
The car soon felt far more comfortable, the chill slowly evaporating from him. They'd soon leave
the highway as she took an exit towards a rest stop, to fill up on gas and grab some snacks for the
last hour.

"Want anything sweetie?"

"... I don't know what I want... Um... Just give me something to help keep me awake please."

"Alright... Do you think you can handle coffee or just something else caffeinated?"

"... Coffee sounds fine... Just get some cream and sugar for me please." And with that, Sunny's
mother went inside the gas station while he sat alone in the car, staring out the window at the busy
intersection. The trees in the distance stood fast, while their branches swayed gently with the wind.
The cars moved in a steady flow, like a river, passing by eachother with a consistent stop and start,
a push and pull.
 He felt sleep almost take him again, lulling him into its warm and welcoming embrace, but he
held fast. He'd get some pep in him soon, and besides, He wanted to see Faraway himself. He
wanted to see the trees outside his home. He wanted to feel the wind against his cheek. To feel like
it was real. Cause right now he felt like a light breeze could tear all this down right in front of him,
like a poorly made stage play.

Sunny didn't realize his mom was even back till she pressed the cup against his thigh. He
muttered out a thank you before taking it, as she buckled herself back in. The warmth in his hands
made him melt into his seat a little easier.

"Since I didn't know how you preferred it, I went on the safe side. Two creams and two sugars...
And make sure you don't start drinking coffee too often okay? It's good to have it every once in
awhile but I don't need you developing a caffeine problem." She said, before starting the engine.
Sunny quietly nodded as he began drinking the coffee to try and stay awake. He could feel the
fatigue slowly pushed out of his body with every sip.

"I swear gas is just getting more expensive, this place was charging like a dollar fifty a gallon? I
know that seems small but it adds up when you have to drive to and from work." She said, as the
took the on ramp back onto the highway. Sunny sipped his coffee slowly. It was a little bitter than
he'd like, but not like his father's coffee. His father always took it straight black, maybe one sugar if
he felt adventurous. It tasted like he imagined motor oil did. They sat in silence for awhile, Sunny
drinking while his mother drove on autopilot towards home. On the radio a man was singing about
a backyard, jangling guitars accompanying him. Eventually, she'd clear her throat, Sunny turning
his head.

"Remind me to take you shopping soon. I've still got all the furniture in your room but you're
gonna need some new clothes. I uh, I tried buying some for you but that was... A couple years ago.
So it probably won't fit anymore." She said, a guilty look peeking out from behind her sweet blue
eyes. Oh. She probably got those clothes back when sunny ever had hope of leaving his father's
care. He wondered how she could struggle for so long without giving up. He couldn't even make it
a year.

Sunny took a deep breath and stared out the window, as time passed between them. He wanted to
ask her the question he had been wondering since they dragged his father away. Since he felt her
hug him so tenderly. He wanted to say so much. He wanted to thank her... But he couldn't bring
himself to. She deserved thanks, praise even, but a failure like him wasn't made to make others feel
better. He'd just mess everything up again. He gripped the cup just a bit tighter.

"Why... Why did you keep fighting for me?"

His mother nearly hit the brakes, but held back such an intense interaction. She looked over at
him for a moment before sighing. She chose to pull over on the side of the road for now. She
wanted to focus on... This, right now. The cars sped by their window as the took her hands off the
wheel. Her expression was tinged with exhaustion.

"Honey... I... I don't know what your father said to you for these last four years... I don't even
know how you've felt... But you are the most important part of my life. You and Mari, were my
little angels... No, you are, and always will be, my little angels... And when I lost one and he stole
the other... I couldn't live with how weak I was..." Her breathing was unsteady, as she looked down
at her hands, trying not to cry, before finally giving in. Despite the strength she had shown in court,
these past four years had taken their toll. Sunny had noticed slightly, but the lines on her face were
more pronounced than his memories, and her eyes... He could see the bags setting in beneath them.
Even if she'd succeeded... There were sacrifices made in her pursuit.
 "I don't have some grand reason sweetie. I just wanted my child back. The child I love and care
for. It's as simple as that. I wanted to be able to take care of you. To be there for you. And after so
long I can finally make good on that promise." She said, wiping her tears away. Sunny felt guilty
for making her feel this way, for taking so much from her... But he felt something else welling up
inside him. It was warm, like the past always felt, colored by those memories he replayed day in
and day out. And it was pleasant. It was better than how he'd ever felt these past four years. He
wanted to hold it close to his chest and cradle this feeling. He didn't even realize that he'd started
crying until he had to blink to clear the tears from his eyes. His mother smiled before leaning over
to hold him.

"There there sweetie... We've got alot of catching up to do okay? But we've also got to get you
set up. I hope you don't mind, but I switched out your old bed. I figured it would be too small for
you now." She said, pulling herself away to give sunny a little space. She wanted to hug him and
tell him how much he meant to her right now, but she could tell he would need time for everything.
As much time as he needed, that's what she wanted to give.

"... Like a real one? Not a futon?" He asked, his voice still quiet, but a little less anxious.

"Mmhmm, a real mattress honey. And... Sorry if you've outgrown them, but I still have yours
and Mari's stuffed animals if you wanna look at them when we get home. Would you like that?"

"... Yeah..."

"Good." She said, as she finally reached back for the wheel and got them back on the road.

"You're my little boy. Even if you don't feel you deserve it baby... I'll always love you. Now and
forever." She said, as she turned up the radio for now. She knew there was more to be said, but
they could use a break from such emotional subjects. The song faded out as another number began.
A man sung about a ray of hope as the music behind him filled the car like a warm kiss being
bathed in sunlight.

Soon enough, they finally passed the sign welcoming them to faraway. There was a part inside
of Sunny that felt like it was staring at his own body from the outside, looking at that sign. It had
been such a normal sight his whole life, whenever his family went on trips... But it held his
attention like a siren.

He was home. He had given up on ever going back... And now he was almost there. His dreams
could never match the real thing. He knew that deep down. And he wondered if he was strong
enough to take whatever the town held for him.

There wasn't much for them to bring inside. About a single boxes worth of stuff from his room,
mostly filled with clothes, CD's, and some blankets. His mother was... Quite upset looking at his
bedroom in his father's apartment. She didn't say it, but Sunny noticed how she narrowed her eyes
seeing his cheap futon and his lack of almost any furniture. A folding desk and chair being the only
major additions to his room.

He stepped out of the car, box in hand, and stared at the old house. He spied a pumpkin leftover
from Halloween, looking surprisingly fresh for how long he must have been outside. Sunny gave
the pumpkin a polite nod. He hoped it was happy to have some company now.

She reached into her bag to fish out the keys before unlocking the door and leading Sunny
inside. The house was... Thankfully, almost the same. He set the box down in the living room
while her mother stretched her arms out, and sighed.
 "Not much has changed, but... Welcome home honey. It's been too long." She said as she turned
the lights on. The sudden shift stunned him for a moment, but the warm yellowish light was more
welcoming than the cold white bulbs his father's apartment manager always used. He Hoped the
manager was doing well. He was always nice to him.

"Alright sweetie, I'll start dinner... You can handle your room yourself for now, right?" She
asked, as sunny silently nodded. She'd smile as she left him to carry the box to his room, going to
the kitchen to fix up their first meal back together as a family.

He observed the house as he took his time going to his room. Some family pictures were gone,
almost all of the ones featuring his father, and a few pieces of furniture had been moved around.
The carpet was the same, and the TV had been replaced. Sunny stopped walking as he entered the
stairwell. He immediately glanced towards the practice room, and felt his body tense up. Like
being faced with a bottomless abyss. Deep breaths, he repeated in his head. He'd have to check
there later... And he'd have to go visit Mari soon too. Those were for later though.

Up the stairs and on the right, he finally arrived in his... And Mari's old room. Both their beds
were gone, but his new mattress was resting on her old bed frame. He felt his body clench up for a
moment. It was just a frame. Like any other. It's not hers anymore. He repeated in his head till he
finally felt his his jaw relax. Other than that, it seemed as though not much had been changed.
Some of Mari's side had been boxed up. Mostly some of her books. There was a new dresser in the
corner. He wondered how long it had been since she'd made these additions.

Setting the box down, he immediately went to the bed and flopped on his back, staring at the
ceiling. There was too much on his mind to sleep now, and besides that, he'd already gotten plenty
of sleep on the near eight hour car ride home, even if it wasn't good sleep. It slowly began to sink
in that this might not be a dream. He could feel the bed beneath him. He could dig his nails into the
palm of his hand. He could bite his lip. This was real. At least... as much as he could confirm.

Sunny sat himself back up before opening his box and sifting through his clothes for his CD
Player. An old Discman. It wasn't always his. It was the only thing from this house he had been
able to sneak by his father before he'd been dragged miles upon miles away. In fact he'd only been
able to keep it because it was Mari's. When his dad confronted him about it, shouting at him for
'stealing it', telling him that one sentence was the only time Sunny remembered him showing any
remorse in front of his eyes. Him and his father... There wasn't any affection between them, but
When it came to Mari, there was at least some sympathy. They both missed her more than
anything.

These CD's were all he had been able to scrounge together on the few times he could go to the
music store in the city. When the tension between them was less palpable, Sunny would visit the
store while his father sat outside. Browsing the shelves and usually being able to snag a couple
albums at a time.

Sunny's experience with music before then had almost entirely been from Mari. Obviously there
was an undercurrent of classical, but then sometimes sunny would hear more experimental music.
Pop and indie would also appear, but Sunny remembered the times she'd let him lay down and
listen with her. She usually chose something far more pleasant those times, but on occasion if he
insisted he could handle it, she'd let him hear her more off kilter albums. He pulled out his
headphones and grabbed the first CD he saw from the box. His recent music journey had been
almost entirely based on the covers, and what little he could sample on their in store kiosks.

He took some time to decide, but he finally popped out his copy of "Ladies and Gentlemen... We
Are Floating in Space" From the case into his CD player. He didn't know genre names, and didn't
understand what little the clerks had explained to him at the time, but he liked calling it ocean
music. It felt like he was weightless, and the waves were shifting between rolling over him or
crashing over him, but he was still immovable. He was the water. And he was inside it too. It
wasn't the same, but it reminded him of the music Mari would let him listen to. He felt that in some
small way, he could remain with her like this.

He'd sadly not get too much time to himself, as his mother would knock on the door a short
while later. Sunny's instinct made him tense up and back up against the bed frame, hitting his head
against it and groaning. This was going to be a consistent problem, wasn't it?

"Is everything okay Honey?" His mother said opening the door after hearing such a sudden
noise.

"... I just hit my head." Sunny said, holding the back of his head and wincing a little. After
taking a minute to make sure he didn't give himself a concussion, Sunny would follow his mother
downstairs. It wasn't quite a feast, but for his first real home-cooked meal in years... It was
extravagant. Curry over rice with beef, and Garlic.

"I know you would probably want steak, but I figured I'd save that for later this week." She said,
as Sunny had already started digging in. She couldn't help but laugh seeing him act so ravenous at
the table... At least, ravenous by Sunny standards. Then again, Sunny standards were probably
much different now. Everything was different. She happily dug in with him, both of them cleaning
off their plates before Sunny meekly gestured with his plate, asking for seconds.

"Of course sweetie. There's plenty left, so you'll probably have leftovers too." She said taking
the plate from him and loading up with another serving as she set it down on the table. A minute or
so into his next serving though, she'd clear her throat and start speaking.

"So, um... I wanted to talk about school. I know your father said you weren't... Ready to enter
public school again, and I wanted to discuss that." She said, as Sunny finished chewing his food
before setting his hands down.

"It's been so long since we last spent time together like a family... It's going to be a tough
process... It's like meeting someone new, to be honest. But you're still my son. So I want you to
have the best future I can offer. Now it's a little too late to enter you for public school this school
year, but we can enroll you next year. That or we could focus on home schooling you for a GED
and prepping you for college level courses maybe, or any other amount of things... I just... I don't
want these last four years to be a millstone around your neck for the future. I want my baby to have
whatever future he can set his sights on." She said, as sunny stared at his food, trying to process the
offers she had just given. He had been home for only a few hours and already they were planning
out his future. He wanted to believe this was real but... Every good thing that happened felt as
flimsy as a paper doll.

"It still doesn't... Feel real."

"To tell you the truth... I feel the same way... I... I was afraid to knock on your door... Like it
would break a spell and I'd realize that all of this had just been a delusion." She said, as Sunny felt
something welling up inside again. There was the anxiety, that was underpinned everything with
him, but... He saw the sadness peeking out from behind his mother's lovely blue eyes again. He
wanted to do something that scared him. He stood up, working up all his courage to quell the
paranoid thoughts in his head. Once he was finally next to his mother, he reached his shaking
hands out to hug her.

"I don't know how to feel... But I don't want to ever leave here... Mom..." He said, his anxiety
hitting a fever pitch as he began to regret everything. He tried to pull away, only to feel his mother
hold him steady.

"... Even after all that's happened, you're still such a sweet boy Sunny... I hope that part of you
never changes." She said, rubbing her hand against his back as he slowly relaxed his muscles. It
felt good being treated like this. Being loved. He let the sensation permeate throughout his body
before he let the tears roll down again.

"Thank you... Thank you..." He repeated as they took this moment for themselves and only
themselves. Holding eachother and refusing to let go.

His mother cleaned up the dishes while Sunny sat downstairs with his CD player. He wanted
something a little more active, so he put the previous album back in its case and switched it out for
a copy of "Heyday". With a name like the Church, he had been worried it might be something
really Christian. He never liked going to church. Instead it was almost... Blissful. Lyrics that were
just fragmented enough that he had to piece together the meanings. His mother promised to help
him with his room tomorrow. She had been able to use her paid time off for this whole week, to
help acclimate him back into Faraway.

They talked about alot of things after that hug. Although for sunny, it was more answering his
mothers questions. About his father, about how he felt, about his schooling. He still wasn't good at
speaking his mind. But they were getting by. It would take time but... Sunny hoped, at least for her,
he could talk without his mind scrutinizing every word he said.

Sunny let the twin guitars layering over eachother empty his thoughts for now. He'd used music
alot for this since he started listening to it. To help shut out the noise, the unpleasant feelings. To
help keep him from slowly spiraling.

Suddenly, A doorbell rang, it was loud enough that it immediately brought his attention. Sunny
stared over at the door. There was anxiety coming back again, at the worst time. Who could be
here? His worst thoughts of course came to the forefront. If it was his father... He didn't want him
to hurt his mom. Could he have even followed them all the way here? Oh who was he kidding, this
used to be his house too... He knew he'd never get to stay happy, why did he get his hopes up the
st-

"Sunny? Sunny? It's... It's okay." His mother said, gently shaking him out of his head, as she
stared into his eyes. She wasn't psychic, but despite the four year absence, she was still his mother.
And more often than not, mothers could tell what was on your mind.

"... You were worried it might be your dad, weren't you. Well, don't worry Hon. I filed a
restraining order against him three years back. The only time he's even allowed to see me was
during the court hearings. He wouldn't risk me taking legal action." She said, as the doorbell rang
again. She squeezed his hand tightly before standing up with him.

"Sunny... come with me okay? Let's answer the door together. It'll be okay. I'll protect you." She
said, as sunny nodded along. He clenched her hand like a child, as they both made their way to the
door. His heart was racing, but... Her hand felt warm. Strong. She was confident when he wasn't.
He could believe her. So she opened the door to another sight that sent Sunny's emotions into
overdrive.

"Hey Ms. Thompson! My parents made a little too much L-" Kel was here. Kel was in front of
his eyes. His ears were ringing. He was... He was scared. This was too soon. He wasn't ready. He
should have taken a shower, changed his clothes, anything. He was so much older and so much
taller than he remembered. In the span of five seconds, sunny felt like he had lived an eternity,
paralyzed in fear.

"-Lasagna, so we wanted to ask if... If... If..." Kel's eyes finally met Sunny's as he stuttered.
Sunny could see the gears working behind his eyes. It... It must have been difficult to see him after
all. He looked like shit, his eyes were red from all the crying, and he probably wasn't the first
person Kel wanted to see again that's for damn cer-

"SUNNY!" Kel almost dropped the Tupperware, only saved by Sunny's mother and her quick
reflexes, as he went for a bear hug, much to Sunny's shock and mild pain. Yep. Kel was still an
athlete. Stronger than he'd ever be. To the point of feeling like his bones might actually get crushed
from his sheer strength.

"You're real! You're like... Actually here! Flesh and Blood and Bones! You... You actually did
it!" He said, tears welling up as he looked over to Sunny's Mother.

"I... I forgot there was even a court hearing happening. After four years... If... If we had known
we would have invited you two over for dinner! You should have told us!"

"I know Kelsey, but... I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up. I know I was confident presenting
my case but... Imagine how it would have felt getting everyone else gathered up only for yet
another dissapointment... But um, I think you should let Sunny down sweetheart, he isn't as used to
your intense shows of affection as he used to be." She said, as Sunny felt his lungs finally lose that
last bit of air. Yep this was how he'd die. He guessed things could be worse. Being hugged to death
by a former friend was at least amusing.

"Oh, shit, yeah, my bad. Oh, sorry I mean-"

"Kelsey, don't worry, I'm not gonna rat you out to your mother. Now put my son down before
you squeeze all the life out of him!" She said, as Kel finally obliged. Sunny coughed a little,
wondering how many years Kel had shaved off of him with that little stunt.

"Thank... Thank you..." Sunny said, as he stared at Kel. He really was alot taller. Sunny had
grown a little but Kel practically towered over him. Maybe he'd finally caught up with Hero.

"Still... I'm... I... Damn I really can't find the right words for this... I guess it's like Christmas
came early?" He said, getting a chuckle from Sunny's mother, but just confusion from the boy
himself. Alongside a general fear that Kel would shave even more of his lifespan off.

"Dang, I thought that one would have hit... Never mind that part! Welcome back dude!" Kel
said, almost going back in for another hug, before seeing Sunny tense up. He instead reached out to
ruffle his hair.

"Time sure does fly. I remember when you weren't that much shorter than me..."

"It's not my fault you're a giant now..." Sunny said, slightly awkward as he had to crane his neck
up a little to much to look at Kel.

"Fair, fair, I am impressive! Anyways, I uh... There's so much to talk about, but I probably need
to be going back home soon. I've gotta tell mom and dad the news after all... Call hero about it too
if he's even still up... You two are definitely coming over for dinner soon though!" He said,
regretting how quickly he had to leave, before an idea popped into his head.

"Hey Ms. Thompson, do you think I could borrow Sunny sometime tomorrow? Show him
around town again? Please?" Sunny's eyes widened slightly. His expression mixed between a dear
in headlights and a Christmas morning.

"Hmm... That's up to Sunny, dear." She said, before gently leaning down to look into his eyes.
She was firm with her grip on his hands as she spoke.

"I know you must be nervous. I'd be too. But Don't worry sweetie. You can trust Kel. He has a
phone so he can contact me and his parents if he needs to, okay? You'll be safe with him, so... Do
you want to go?"

Sunny's mind was overwhelmed by the thoughts going through his head. He... He didn't want to
leave his mother's side at all right now. He wanted to stay with her... But that hug from Kel had left
him... Well out of breath, but Feeling... Giddy? He didn't know what exact category to put this
feeling in... But even with the undercurrent of his paranoia, it was far more pleasant than the
anxiety he had when first seeing Kel. He always had that effect on him after all.

"I... As long as we don't have to stay out... Too long. I wanna get your help with my room and
everything... I'll spend time with you Kel." He said, before she ruffled his hair. Did tall people just
love doing that?

"Woohoo! Thank you Sunny! Oh man I... I really hope I can actually sleep tonight, just being
able to see you again makes me feel like I just got off of a rollercoaster." He said, smiling as he
looked down at Sunny.

"Don't worry Hon. You don't have to take things too fast. Just spend a little time with Kelsey and
you'll be fine." Sunny smiled as she comforted him. The two of them would see Kel off as he ran
back home. And just like that, the night was finally enveloping Faraway town completely.

Finally back in the house, Sunny clutched his mom's hand as she turned to see him breathing
heavily. She would guide him down to the couch and sit him down next to her.

"Was that too much for you baby? It's okay if you can't handle it, we can tell Kelsey you'll need
more time." She said, squeezing his palm while his chest rose and fell very harshly.

"N-no... It's fine I... I just wasn't expecting him so soon... I really didn't make a good first
impression... Or new first impression." Sunny said as he played back the encounter back in his
head. Why had he barely said anything to Kel? He couldn't even tell Kel that he missed him... What
a pathetic-

"Baby you did amazing. Kelsey adores you... In fact all of your friends adore you. Trust me.
They want nothing more than to have you with them again." She said, cupping his cheek and
looking him in the eyes. Sunny felt her blue eyes piercing glare slowly reach inside him, before she
softened her expression. As she did, his breathing finally grew steady.

"Alright Sunny, let's get you up to bed... And get you some of those stuffed animals I talked
about in the car." She said, pinching his cheek before she stood back up.

Sunny's mother helped him set up his bed, moving his boxes to the side as they put in a little
work to make his room feel more livable. They'd also take a small step into emptying the massive
box of stuffed animals, taking a small pile and lining Sunny's bed with them.

"Alright hon... I'm right down the hall okay? If you get scared... Just talk to me... It's not
shameful to feel like that, okay? I know it might be embarassing... But it's my job to make you feel
safe. So let me do my job, okay?" She said, waving as she closed the door to Sunny's room.

Sunny almost immediately collapsed into his mattress. Not much had actually happened since he
 woke up in the car... But he felt like he had gone through a rollercoaster with how hard his heart
was beating against his chest. He looked up towards the ceiling and slowly closed his eyes,
clutching the first stuffed animal he could reach close to his chest. If he would wake up back in his
father's apartment tomorrow... Well these memories wouldn't be so bad.

Chapter End Notes

Music Notes:

The Title of this Chapter is taken from The Smithereens Debut 1986 album,
"Especially for You" along with the track itself, which actually appears on their
following record, 1988's "Green Thoughts"

This title has mixed feelings for me. I adore the song itself, alongside The Smithereens
in General (R.I.P. Pat DiNizio), but I do question wether I couldn't have chosen a more
fitting name. Anyways, the Smithereens provide a good mix of 80's rock with tunes
remiscent of the 60's British invasion. Plus their first 4 albums are worth a listen alone
for their phenomenal cover art, inspired by the likes of Saul Bass, who in fact was
commissioned for their fourth album.

Spiritualized, "Ladies and Gentlemen we are floating in space."

I had a hard time choosing a first album for Sunny. Obviously most of the music
choices that will come up in this fic are self indulgent choices from my personal
collection, but I still want to give each character their own specific interests and vibe.
Sunny for the most part will be picking from my top faves, but Spiritualized ended up
being a good choice since I felt Sunny would gravitate towards its stark White and
Blue cover. Plus it's just a good album! I hope I didn't go too pretentious for the first
choice, but I'm sure people will understand. Now go listen to it, or buy it on
bandcamp, the lead guy is selling it digitally on there now.

The Church, "Heyday"

There is far too much for me to say about this band to truly represent my feelings on
them. I'll just say that as one of my top 3 albums by them, Heyday is one of their
catchiest efforts, along with just the right amount of esoteric lyrics from the front man
Steve Kilbey, that it's a good starting point for anyone interested in their unique brand
of psychedelic 80's jangle rock (Yes that's what I'm calling it, it makes sense in my
head be quiet.) I also just think the cover looks really pretty. Paisley patterns are nice.

Honorable Mentions to Miracle Legion's song "The Backyard" (and the EP of the same
name), and Mercury Rev's "Sudden Ray of Hope" I'll hopefully have more to say on
these bands later, but do give the aforementioned songs a listen.

Again thank you everyone whose read this far. If you have anything you wish to say, I
want to read every comment I can. Thank you so much.

-Magus
 Love Affair With Everyday Living
Chapter Summary

Sunny attempts to familiarize himself with his now unfamiliar hometown.

Chapter Notes

I'm genuinely stunned and how much of a response this little idea has gotten. It makes
me incredibly proud, and honestly a little nervous. But I'm just going to have to press
forward the best I can. Thank you to all of those reading, and especially those who
give your thoughts in the comments. Even if I don't respond, do know I'm reading all
of them and they bring a smile to my face.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

A dream occurs when the mind repackages thoughts and feelings into an audio visual experience
during sleep. The core purpose of dreams is not definitively known, but many experts posit that
they help compartmentalize our daily experiences to make room for more.

But to some, a dream is something less definitive. A dream is vast. A dream is endless. It is not
something you can grasp, impermanent. The clouds in the sky. The wind rushing through your
hair. A tree. A soft voice whispering into your ear. Gnawing teeth. Hands clawing at your neck.
The feeling of bile coming up from your throat. A girl. An unidentifiable pattern. Screaming so
loud it makes your ears bleed. Tears as black as night. Fibers slowly growing frayed, breaking
apart one by one, before they snap.

Sunny's vision was hazy as he woke up, looking around the room before noticing the light
peeking through the blinds. Morning time. His eyes scanned around the room further, before his
muscles relaxed a little. He was... He was still here. Two days in a row is too long for an elaborate
fantasy. He was here. He was real.

When he heard a knock on the door, he winced, but held onto the sheets, so he didn't have a
repeat of yesterday's rather bone headed move. It's going to take awhile for him to stop doing that,
isn't it? He moved quickly however, still in his pajamas as he opened the door to see his Mother.

"Good morning Hon. Did you sleep well?" Sunny could only let out a small sound to reply,
along with a nod.

"Well good. We've got some breakfast downstairs, then I figured I'd help you get settled in
more. Kelsey called and said he'd come visit around noon." She said, before turning around and
letting him follow her down the stairs.

Breakfast this morning was much simpler than dinner last night. A fried egg with cheese and
bacon, between two slices of sourdough. But for Sunny, it was delightful seeing real food for his
morning meal.
 "This one was actually a suggestion from Henry, Bless his soul. Their whole family have been...
Incredibly supportive during these past few years. When he learned I had been subsisting on just
store bought meals when I first got this job, he was the one who encouraged me to get back into
cooking." it took a second for Sunny to piece together who she meant. It was funny hearing anyone
refer to him as Henry... Even Kel called him Hero just yesterday. But Sunny finally noticed an
opportunity, as he swallowed his third bite.

"Um... What... Is your job?" Sunny asked, setting down his sandwich. He hadn't thought of it
much as a kid, but this house was... Alot more expensive than an apartment was. He knew they
owned it but... It still cost money to won a house didn't it? Back when they were together, his mom
and dad both had jobs, but she referred to his father as the breadwinner. So her, on her own, being
able to afford to keep the house... What kind of place could she even work.

"Oh, I ended up taking some night classes before landing this gig. I work server maintenance for
a tech company now. It's not my dream job but... I do enjoy it. I just wish I talked to my coworkers
more often. I'm usually there in the early hours of the morning before almost anyone else."

"Oh... That seems important... Are... Are you sure they won't need you soon? I-I'll be fine on my
own if y-"

"Shush. I'm glad you're worrying about me, but trust me Sunny. My job won't catch on fire just
cause I'm not there. Besides I'm not the only person who can handle it, I'm just the most
specialized. The crew in IT got advanced notice from me and they can pick up the slack while I'm
gone." She said, before reaching over to pet his hair.

"Besides, I want to be here for you as much as I can, so don't worry your pretty little head and let
me handle my own things. I know that really won't stop you from worrying, but you'll have to trust
me." She said, before drawing her hand away. Sunny nodded, as he finally continued to eat.

With breakfast done, Sunny helped gather the dishes while his mom cleaned them off. The
conversation was mostly tedium, asking about what she had planned for food later, and when she'd
have to go back to work. And soon after, they both finally arrived in his room, ready to unpack and
get him properly settled in.

"Sunny, make sure to take out any clothes that can't be drycleaned, and put them in this pile."
She said as she helped him sort through the clothes in his personal box. His father didn't really ever
take him clothes shopping. He just asked his size and got sunny clothing that fit. However, for the
most part, they did fit his preference for monochromatic designs. His mother wasn't the biggest fan
of that trend however.

"You really need to inject like... Any color into your wardrobe Hon. It's fine to not use too much
but... All these shirts are black long sleeves, and even your pants are all black... It's a good thing
we're close to wintertime though." She said before pulling out a cardigan.

"Oh this is nice, you should wear this when you're out with Kelsey. It's been colder than usual
recently so you'll need to bundle up if you're hanging out with him. I swear I don't understand how
that kid can handle the winter with short sleeves sometimes."

"... Does he wear shorts too?"

"Not anymore. Couple years ago he caught a cold and his mother never gave him the end of it.
So he's at least smart enough to wear pants when it's cold outside." Sunny couldn't help but laugh a
little hearing that.
 "Oh speaking of clothes, Kelsey mentioned that Henry had some old clothes that he didn't want,
so I told him to bring them over later so we could sort through them. I figured his old clothes might
be more your style. Oh and... I still have some of Mari's old T-shirts..."

Sunny paused as his mother spoke. He wasn't frozen this time. They just... They both felt the air
permeate around them, like a living organism. This sweet atmosphere suddenly turning sour just
from her name... It wasn't fair. Mari was always bright and shining... She shouldn't have this effect
on them... She wouldn't like it...

"We can sort through those much later okay? There's still lots more we have to do..." She said,
placing her hand on his arm.

"Yeah... It's... It's okay. I'll ask when... I think I'm ready." He said, before pulling out his CD's.
He didn't want to deal with... Well any of it. He'd rather just try and forget. But he refused to.
Forgetting her wasn't what he wanted either. He couldn't forget the pain and the heartache without
forgetting the love and the tenderness. He looked at his Walkman which was sitting on his
nightstand. It wasn't always his... So maybe he could work up to it.

"Umm... Do... Do you still have... Mari's..." his mother nodded as they moved the small stack of
CD's to the wall so they were out of the way.

"I'll get those for you later... And um, it's in the closet downstairs, but... We can set up the Stereo
and everything later. It'll be nice having the house... Filled with music again." She said, her words
still tinged with bitterness, but with a soft smile, beneath those tired eyes.

The rest of their time was spent quietly together. Getting Sunny's laundry organized, moving
some of them to the washer and putting the rest into the dresser. Sunny moved the couple CD's
he'd been listening to back onto the shelf, while his mother leaned over to examine them curiously.

"Did he really buy these for you..." She said, with mild disbelief as she stared at the small but
formidable collection of albums Sunny had amassed.

"... The CD player was hers so... I guess he felt like it was important enough." He said, while she
looked over the albums he had... There wasn't any she recognized, but at least a couple of the bands
sparked a passing recognition. Sunny nodded. He didn't understand why his father wasted his time
on him like that either.

"I'll make sure to plan a trip to the mall sometime." She said, planting a kiss on his forehead.

"Now you should take a shower before Kelsey gets here. Use my shampoo and conditioner for
now okay? If you want different ones we can grab that when we go shopping soon."

And with that, she'd leave Sunny in the bathroom while she went downstairs. Compared to the
stark clean white of his father's apartment... This was pleasant. It had been slightly remodeled in
the past four years, to help refresh it. The tiles were white, but the walls were almost a pink color...
But just barely noticeable. The most noticeable thing was the translucent fish and sea horses on the
wall. They were all such bright colors... It really made it feel like... Like someone lived in this
house... Rather than simply occupying it.

Sunny went through the motions of taking a shower, testing the water, leaving his clothes in the
corner so they didn't get wet. He lathered his hands with shampoo. The smell of coconut was
pleasant compared to the plain smell of his father's 2 in 1 that he'd grown accustomed to. He had to
take a minute to remember if shampoo or conditioner came first, but he figured it out in the end.
After his hair was clean, he looked around, before noticing the body wash... He lathered it on his
palms as he washed himself from head to toe. It was nice to feel... Clean. He'd have to thank his
mother later.

He grabbed a towel from the rack and began to dry himself off. The mirror was a bit foggy,
but... It felt like he was looking at someone different. But more like he hadn't realized that... He
was different. When every day felt the same, you don't always realize how much you've changed.

His hair went down almost to his shoulders, his Grey eyes looked less monotone... A full
spectrum of shades he hadn't noticed before. It almost looked like flecks of gold strewn throughout.
His face wasn't quite a baby face anymore but... It was hard to describe. He remembered how Hero
and Mari looked when they were around this age... But he felt like this face sat somewhere in
between those two. Maybe he still had some growing to do. Kel looked like he expected him, but
what about Basil, or Aubrey? What would they look like now... What would their eyes look like...
Their hair...

Sunny shook the thoughts out of his head, instead focusing on cleaning himself off. Drying his
hair before the rest of his body. Once he was done, he wrapped a towel around himself and carried
his pajamas to the laundry room, setting them in a box next to the washer.

Once he was in his room, he finally took a look at the outfit he and his mother had picked out.
Sunny had a hard time properly dressing himself, so having help was a welcome change. Back at
his father's place, he'd sometimes spend weeks at a time wearing the same shirt, until it felt too
uncomfortable to wear it anymore.

The undershirt was short sleeved, button up. It was almost a dark blue, with a simple dot pattern
across the whole of it. The cardigan was soft, dark Grey, with a couple pockets. Socks and
underwear were standard. The pants... When did he get curdoroys?

Once he was finished dressing, he walked downstairs to see his Mother laying out her notebook
and looking at something she had printed out. He could only see something about sessions on the
page before he made himself known.

"Oh honey, you've finished already? That's good. I was just getting some planning done for the
next week. I've got most of it done, I just..." She bit her lip, making sunny a little nervous of the
nature of her planning.

"I've been looking into getting you a therapist... Is that okay sweetie?" Sunny didn't quite know
how to react. His mind slowly worked through the statement, as he stopped his brain from rejecting
the thought immediately.

"I... I think I should have a therapist..." He said. He didn't know if he wanted one but... Hearing
knocking on the door still scared him... And being alone still left his mind to wander to places he...
He didn't feel comfortable being in as much as he used to.

"Okay sweetie. I'm setting up some preliminary meetings for later this week. We're going to talk
to a couple different therapists, and when we get home, we should discuss... Wether one of them is
the right fit for you." She said, before turning her notebook back a page.

"It's... I know it looks a little strange planning all this stuff out, but... It helps me alot." She said,
avoiding any elaboration. Sunny remained silent for the rest of their time together, sitting down
next to her as he watched her work out a schedule. She kept the times estimated, but still filled her
day with plenty of things to do. At least, for most days. Some days were nearly empty aside from a
to do list for around the house.
 They were both drawn out of this pleasant time together as the doorbell rang, followed by
knocking rapidly. The odd combination was less jarring to him, but still left him slightly tense.
Yeah, this was Kel.

"Well go on dear, you can do it. I'll be here if you need me, I'm sure Kelsey will let you borrow
his phone if you need it... I should put adding you to my phone plan on the agenda soon." She said
as she let Sunny tentatively walk towards the front door. It was just Kel. After last night, he knew
things should be okay...

Sunny opened the door, only to be greeted with another repeat of last night's bear hug.
Thankfully it was much shorter and a tad less intense, as Kel set him back down, Sunny only had to
take a couple deep breaths to recover.

"Sorry about that, just had to make sure last night wasn't an Elaborate dream. Oh hey Ms.
Thompson! Me and Sunny are going to go out for a bit. I'll probably take him by Gino's and the
Park. Stop by my place for a bit too. Any time you want him back?"

"As long as he's back before it's dark, you can take all the time you need. Make sure to have fun
you two!" She said, as she waved goodbye to the both of them. Sunny waved back as he left the
house.

Sunny was now alone. Well, no he wasn't. It would better be described as he was now out of his
element. He wasn't comfortable with his mother... But she felt familiar still. He saw her during
every court hearing after all. But Kel? The last time they had seen eachother, Mari was... Still
here.

"Well, I guess first things first should be showing you around town. Welcome back by the way. I
missed you." Kel said, wrapping his arms around Sunny for a much less life threatening hug,
before gesturing to follow him along. The two walked side by side together down the sidewalk.
Fall was in full swing, leaves crunching beneath their feet. Faraway looked pretty with this nice
orange hue across most of the plants.

"... Four years huh. It still doesn't feel real..." Kel said Absentmindedly, before he finally cleared
his throat.

"So um... How was life in the big city? I've been wondering how it felt living there... Aside from
the whole... Living arrangement itself."

"... It was cold."

"Cold? Yeah it must have been really chilly." Sunny immediately shook his head.

"No... Like... People were cold. Some of them were nice but... I felt like if I tried to speak to
anyone they'd just ignore me, or worse, get angry at me." He said, one hand clutching his sleeve.

"Jeez... Well, no use worrying about that now. You're here and that's what matters! Now, let's
stop by Hobbeez! Don't worry, when I told my mom I was taking you around town, she gave me
some cash to pay for anything you need, so if you want something there, just tell me. Consider it
recompense for all the missed birthday presents." Kel said, speeding up as Sunny reluctantly did as
well, not wanting to be left behind.

Sunny and him turned the corner and walked down Main Street. Sunny felt the rush of wind hit
his face and shivered. There were people milling around all over the street. Some families, Some
couples, some other kids. He didn't recognize any of them, but Kel would wave and plenty of them
waved back.

"You know... This many people?"

"Sunny I'm on the basketball team now. Practically the whole town comes to our games! You
should come too! We just had our last real game of the season, but next year we should have
plenty for you to watch."

"Huh... You know I was wondering all the time... if you had made it onto a basketball team by
now... I'm glad I was right." Kel smiled before wrapping his arm around Sunny's shoulder.

"Aww, you thought about me that me that much? I'm flattered!" He said, as they finally crossed
the street over towards the strip mall where the grocery store laid. It was... Almost unchanged.
Sunny remembered Gino's sign being different... And the hardware store looked like it needed
some repairs, but otherwise... It was familiar.

The inside of Hobbeez was a little different though, as Kel lead him inside. The shelves were all
filled with new comics and games, as to be expected. And there was a new arcade machine in the
back. Kel immediately made a beeline to the comics, only to get told off by the clerk.

"Don't spend too much time browsing Kel. You know how the owner gets when I let kids look
without buying too often." The clerk said, before their eyes finally arrived at Sunny.

"Oh, hi. Welcome to Hobbeez. Friend of Kel?" Sunny nodded along.

"Keep an eye on him. He's a bit of a scatterbrain. But if you're friends with him you probably
know that." The clerk said.

"Hey, I'm not that scatterbrained. I just lose track of time sometimes. Besides visiting today isn't
for me, I'm bringing my friend through town again since he's finally moved back." He said, pulling
Sunny next to him.

Sunny and Kel browsed the shelves together. He hadn't really gone to any game stores, or comic
book shops in the big city. It was a miracle his father had somehow convinced himself that a music
store wasn't a total waste of their time together. He didn't keep up with comics much at all. He
remembered Captain Spaceboy vaguely, but other than that all these names meant nothing to
Sunny. But he gladly listened as Kel chatted with him about the latest storyline of Captain
Spaceboy.

"... And you know, I think they've really outdone themselves this time. Like the last big storyline
I wasn't a huge fan of, felt like they were flanderizing his whole character, especially the
sweetheart crossover, but this? This is what he needed, something to really revitalize him!" Kel said
excitedly, as he would eventually set the issue he was referring to down, and moved to the games.
Sunny, spying the CD shelf, would split from Kel to look at them.

Hobbeez obviously had a much smaller selection than the store in the city did... But it made up
for that with a much more... Eclectic there selection, at least for some of them. A few of these were
absolutely home printed. It was charming honestly.

"You're really looking intently at those. Do you even have a CD player?" Sunny was interrupted
from his browsing by Kel standing behind and observing.

"Mari's..."

"Oh. Well... Hey pick one, I'll get it for you. My treat." Sunny's eyes brightened up like a puppy
from that. He had a hard choice ahead of him. From his browsing he had selected two albums. One
with a blue background, a bundle of multicolored dots at the bottom, "Nada Surf, Let Go." The
other one featured a picturesque green field with mountains in the distance, and keyboard keys
spelling the album title, "Grandaddy, The Sophtware Slump."

In the end, he chose the latter, for the simple of the reason of the cover being more intriguing.
Kel gladly brought it up to the counter and fished out his wallet.

"Should have expected you to be into weird music, Sunny." Kel said, handing the CD to him,
now wrapped in paper and taped shut.

"It's not that weird..." Sunny said, pouting a little at Kel's comment.

"Anyways, wanna stop by Gino's?"

Kel didn't even need a response. Just a look. Sunny immediately forgave him for the sake of
Gino's. The two of them made way towards the pizza place with a determination. Kel wanted
pizza, and more importantly, Sunny craved Gino's pizza. Having the same crappy delivery for four
years straight made him want something nicer.

"Tyler!" Kel shouted as he came in, the clerk behind the counter sighing exasperated as if he'd
just watched his worst nightmare come into the store.

"I'm looking to get two slices. Pepperoni and... You want the same?" Kel asked, to which Sunny
nodded.

"Two slices of Pepperoni it is!"

"Oh thank God it's not another sandwich." the clerk muttered as he went to the register to ring
them up.

"Oh yeah Hero's coming back later this week so we'll be getting a sandwich for him before then,
thanks for reminding me!" Kel said, as the clerk groaned like he had been told he only had a week
left to live. Well less than a week considering what Kel had said.

"Two slices will be about Five Dollars and... 35 cents." Kel gave him six and dumped the
change and another dollar in the tip jar, as they'd wait a few minutes for them to heat the slices up.
Soon, they'd both be presented with two plates, one for each of them. Sunny grabbed some napkins
preemptively as he lifted up the slice to take a bite. Kel was far less... Mannered about it, eating the
whole thing in under fifteen seconds. Not even messily, just like he was watching a video in fast
forward. Sunny sat shocked for a moment before continuing to eat.

"Mmm. Nothing like pizza for a morning meal!"

"... It's noon." Sunny said, after wiping his mouth clean of the grease.

"It's morning in Alaska. Or Hawaii or something." Sunny silently stared at him before shaking
his head, finishing of his slice, crust and all, before cleaning his chin.

"Good right? Better than any city pizza you could have gotten?"

"... Obviously."

"Good, we can save you from being a city slicker yet."

 "I'm not a city slicker."

"You're wearing all black, that's a total city slicker outfit."

"... The shirt is Blue Actually..."

"Really? Well you still could stand to look less like a city slicker. You Mom told you about
Hero's old clothes didn't she?" Sunny nodded as Kel looked out the window.

"Good, Once I'm done showing you around we'll stop by my house before taking you home." He
said as sunny noticed a smirk on his face. What? Was something funny? Was Kel planning
something? Sunny turned his head to stare out the window with Kel for a few more minutes.
Watching the leaves outside as they fluttered through the wind.

"Alright, let's get going. C'mon, let's visit the park, for old times sake." Kel said, as they'd clean
their table and leave the plates stacked, before marching outside towards the park.

Sunny stood at the entrance with Kel for a short while. He told Kel he needed a minute to ready
himself. And he really did. Too many memories of this place were always replaying in his mind
every time he went to sleep these past four years. He held those memories, when they weren't
twisted by his own guilt, in a special place in his heart... As well as the memories of the lake.

Kel took Sunny's hand, looking to him for approval, before they both took their first steps
together into the park. It was about as empty as usual. A couple kids playing with their parents in
the sand pit. Two teenagers on the swingset. But Kel was more intent on bringing them somewhere
else. Leading sunny through the familiar Path through the trees.

When they finally made their way through, they arrived at the Lake. Sunny squeezed Kel's hand
tighter than before.

"Hey... If... If you wanna visit later, we can. I should have asked beforehand, but... It just felt
right going here." Kel said, scratching the back of his head. Guilt peaking out from his amber eyes.

"... No it's... It's okay... I wanted to visit here..." He said, as he loosened his grip, still holding
Kel's hand. The two of them shared a look. Sunny wondered what Kel saw in his eyes. Sunny
couldn't see what other people were thinking, but he always felt like he could see what they were
feeling, just beneath the surface of their eyes, but... With Kel it was different. Kel still wore his
heart on his sleeve for the most part. Sure, he seemed to be a little more mature about it, but... That
was okay. It meant Sunny wasn't as afraid of... Of how Kel might feel about him.

Finally, the two of them made their way to the edge of the dock, sitting down on it. Kel let his
feet Dangle off the edge while Sunny sat a little further back, legs folded together. He looked at the
tree next to them. There were some markings carved into it now. Of course. This wouldn't always
be their spot anymore. Other people had made their mark here. Time marches on. It was almost
comforting. Knowing the lake was a special place for someone else now.

"Hey... Kel... How is... How is everyone else doing?" Sunny felt his hands tremble as he finally
forced the question out of his throat. He had been wanting to ask since yesterday night. He needed
to know. So far, it was only by sheer luck that he had even seen Kel again. He needed to know. He
didn't know if he could meet them yet...

"Jeez, Jumping right into it huh? I don't blame you... Well, Hero is in college right now. He's...
He's alot better than he was right after... You know. We only really get to chat over the phone and
when he's on break. He's 'following his dream' and studying to be a doctor..." Kel shifted as he
brought his legs back onto the dock.

"Aubrey and I... We're still friends, but for a minute there it wasn't quite so sure. I was busy
trying to help Hero, and her... I didn't have the time to be there for her when she needed it. She was
bitter... And angry. And honestly, I was ignorant and too stupid to try and talk things out. We got
into a few fights about it. It took awhile but... We've come to an understanding now. She knows
how important Hero is to me after all... And how much Mari was to all of us... She's got some new
friends too, not necessarily the most pleasant bunch, but they were good to her when she needed it
most, so I can live with that." Kel took a deep breath as he looked over to Sunny. Sunny was taking
slow, deep breaths now. He was still most nervous about the last one. For good reason too.

"Basil is doing okay. His grandma hasn't been doing the well health wise, so his parents hired a
caretaker to handle her needs and take care of Basil since they're always so busy. He... He had
some trouble with kids at school for a bit after you left... But me and Aubrey ended up chasing
them off... They haven't totally given up, but me and her... We can handle them." Kel said, as he
turned to see Sunny staring off into the distance. He was shaking a little less, but... He soon began
to cry. Just a few tears, but still.

"Hey, Sunny, it's okay." He said, scooting closer as he held his friend close. Sunny didn't
respond but instead leaned against his shoulder.

"I know it must be tough... Missing out on being here for those four years... But trust me...
We've been waiting for you just as much as you've been waiting for us. Everyone, and I mean
everyone, is going to be happy to see you."

"... How can you be sure?"

"Sunny, you haven't been here, but I have. Just trust me on this." He said with an air of
Confidence that helped Sunny feel warm and safe, before he pulled back to stretch his arms, as the
two of them sat beneath the cloudy sky.

"Hey, how about I grab you a bottle of water from those drink machines out front of the park? I
should only be gone five minutes or so, that okay with you?"

"... Water would be good yeah... And... Thanks Kel..." Sunny said as he looked up at Kel. The
other boy gave him a confused look, but smiled.

"No need to thank me, I'm your friend after all." Kel said as he ran off to the vending machines.
Sunny immediately laid down on the dock. He didn't enjoy hearing about Basil getting bullied
again. It was just another reminder of... Of four years lost. Of all the time lost because.. Because he
couldn't support his sister when she needed it. The pressure overwhelmed him, but for her... It must
have been crushing. And look where it left them. Hero may have recovered from Mari's death...
But Kel and Aubrey almost had their friendship broken. And Basil... All because of him. And yet
Kel still called him a friend. He wanted to laugh, but he couldn't bring himself to make a sound.

Suddenly, he heard the leaves rustling behind him. He looked back to see... Other people. Oh.
These must be the people who also hung out here. Probably the same ones who carved the tree.
Guess it would be best for him to leave.

Before he got up though, his eyes glanced to see a girl with a bat. He didn't know why, but his
eyes focused on her and her bright pink hair. He felt like his brain wasn't connecting the dots
somewhere, as his attention remained on her. The group paused as they observed Sunny, shuffling
to his feet. One of them, a girl with brown hair, walked up to meet him.
 "Hey, You new here? It's fine if you are, but jus-"

"This is your place, right? Sorry, I just... I wanted to come here again. It's been awhile. I'll
leave." He said cutting her off and apologizing as best he could. The girl was... A little stunned by
this, as the rest of the group moved closer. The bat girl didn't move. Sunny was too caught up by
the overwhelming amount of people to notice her reaction yet.

"... Alright, at least you understand. Better than most of the fools who try and muck up on our
turf." She said before turning back to the pink haired girl.

"Boss, he says he's leaving no need to get Agressive... Boss?" She called out to her as she stared
at sunny. The bat slowly slipped out of her hand. She began marching towards him, the way she
moved with such confidence... Such determination... Intimidated Sunny a little.

She stood in front of him, staring down into his eyes. Sunny realized now that... He was really
short. This girl wasn't that tall, but she towered over him just enough to make him nervous. Why...
Why was she staring at him? He felt those eyes piercing into him, the longer she stared the more he
felt the knife twist. He said he would leave. Sunny tried to take a few deep breaths, closing his eyes
and attempting to calm down. It didn't usually work, but it gave him usually a moment to focus.
That moment was interrupted though as the girl grabbed him and held him in her arms. Her grip
was strong and tight, but less crushing than Kel's

"Oh God... Oh God thank you... It's really you Sunny..." She said, her voice already wavering as
she clinged to him.

"Aubrey, what the hell?! What's wrong?" The brown haired girl would shout.

Oh. This was Aubrey. These were those friends Kel mentioned... And... And she was holding
him for dear life and crying. Holding him to prove that this wasn't a dream. That he was there. That
he was real.

"I'm... I'm sorry...." Was all Sunny could think of to say, as his tears began rolling too. Kel
finally arrived back, drinks in hand as he walked in on a very strange Reunion.

Chapter End Notes

Music Notes:

The Title of this Chapter is taken from The Woodentops 1986 Debut Album "Giant"

Well technically they put out a record before that but Discogs can be dumb about
what's counted as an EP and what's a full length album so I'll just stick with my
opinion. Anyways, The Woodentops are just a fun band in general. Mixing alot of
acoustic instrumentation with some nice vocal harmonies and keyboards in the vein of
other new wave bands that delivers and interesting blend. Like Drinking a nice cup of
Tea in a Cafe somewhere, except instead of casual acoustic tunes you've got Jean-
Michel Jarre on stage. They only have three proper albums to speak of (The
aforementioned Giant, "Wooden Foot Cops on The Highway", and Almost two
decades later their Latest Album "Granular Tales"), They do have several compilations
to help round out the listening experience for those who want more.
Grandaddy, "The Sophtware Slump"

The Title of this is actually a really fun and clever play on words, as Bands are often
said to be victims of the Sophomore Slump, where their second album is never quite as
good as the first. Mostly cause the first album is often a culmination of years of work
and experience before the making of it, whereas the next album often has a much
quicker turnaround, thus the perceived drop in quality. Anyways this might be my
Favorite Grandaddy Album? I'm not sure. It's the most personally Important to me but
I've grown attached to most of their discography so it's hard choosing one anymore.
This one does have the coolest cover though. Just a simple but effective image that
conveys the bands sound and vibe almost perfectly.

Nada Surf, "Let Go"

Now this band is also personally important to me for such deeply complicated reasons
that I'm genuinely not comfortable sharing with mostly anonymous internet users. But
what I will say is that as a 'Comeback' album after they were effectively dropped from
their label after the release of their second album "The Proximity Effect", Let Go really
does show the band realizing their potential even more effectively than ever before.
Maybe this is me just talking at this point to hear myself talk but if you're still reading,
thank you for indulging me. Go listen to one of these records if you can, and maybe
support the artists? The music industry fucking sucks.

- Magus
 Little Rough Rhinestone
Chapter Summary

The Gang is (Almost) back together again.

Chapter Notes

This one I've got some more mixed feelings on compared to the last three. I really
struggle writing a conversation with that large of a group at once, so when you see the
Hooligans later in the story, expect to see one or two of them at a time. Other than that,
I hope you can enjoy it in spite of its faults.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"So you really just came back last night?" Aubrey asked, as Sunny nodded. He felt like he was
being interrogated. But... He kind of understood. Kel and his mother hadn't told anyone else he was
back in town yet... And it's not like he could talk to them himself. He probably wouldn't have even
left the house if he didn't have someone like Kel to drag him into the outside world.

"I didn't even know till I visited his mom last night. I just wanted to ask if she'd like some
lasagna." Kel said, rubbing his arm and wincing. Aubrey had mellowed out a little, but she still
punched Kel in the arm for 'Keeping such a big secret.'

"Yeah... Sorry. I guess I just Jumped to conclusions again. I'll treat you to Gino's later, as an
apology." Aubrey said, before standing up and clearing her throat.

"Okay Sunny. I'm sure you're wondering about everyone else here. So... I'd like you to meet the
Hooligans. Yes, that's the name. They've been my friends for a few years now." She said, before
doing a quick roll call.

"Kim here is like the second in command. She's the one really formed the whole group, I just
ended up as the leader for some reason."

"Aubs, you're a natural at it. You've got that vibe you know, where it always seems like you
know what you're doing, The Charisma and all, right guys? Kel even you gotta recognize this!"
Kim said, seemingly frustrated over having to explain this again.

"Yeah I guess, I'd say it's more stubborn than charismatic."

"I'll choose to ignore that comment for the sake of your arm, Kel. Anyways, The one with the
bag of taffy is Vance. He's Kim's older brother. He can be a little blunt so you'll either get along
great or not at all." Vance didn't respond as he was passing another taffy over to Kim.

"Oh sorry did you say my name?"

"... Charlene is the tall girl over there. She's nice and quiet, like you." She said, as Charlene
simply waved at Sunny.

"Over there is Angel, he's a little excitable but he's got a good heart. And next to him is his...
Master, the Maverick."

"You mean Mikhael." Kel said, finishing off his can of orange Joe just in time to chime in.
Immediately, Angel looked at him with furious eyes.

"Don't you dare use that name for my master!" He said, as The Maverick held a hand in front of
Angel to hold him off.

"Don't fret Angel, that's exactly what he wants! A villain is always on the prowl to egg a hero
into making brash and dangerous moves, you mus-"

"Hey why am I the villain?"

"I don't need to answer a question like that to a villain! Evil knows itself better than any other!"
Aubrey sighed before clearing her throat. Kel didn't shut up immediately, but the Maverick did.
She smiled, before looking to Sunny... O-oh she wanted him to introduce himself didn't she?

"... O-oh, sorry. I'm sure um, some of you have heard of me if you know Aubrey but... I'm
Sunny. I... used to live here, but then I ended up having to leave... And now I'm back." He said,
putting on his most polite tone of voice and trying to project like he was reading a middle school
play. It made Aubrey regret putting him on the spot like that.

"That's one way to say you were legally kidnapped." Aubrey said before sitting back down.
Sunny tensed up at her tone. He hoped he hadn't made her angry.

"Sorry..."

"Don't be sorry, it's that fuckers fault. You couldn't do anything about it." Aubrey said, before
laying back in the grass. She felt... A little unfamiliar compared to before. She'd always been a little
Aggressive, especially when her and Kel got at it, but... The way she spoke was different. It was
bitter, angry, but in some ways little more mature. But it wasn't bad... Just strange and new.

"So Ms. Thompson really won against that dickhead, huh. What did she even do?" She said,
looking between the two of them.

"She didn't tell me much, just that she was still nervous it wouldn't work, that's why she didn't
tell us in advance." Kel said, before they both laid their eyes on Sunny.

"I um... I didn't really pay attention during the hearing... I can't really handle when they're...
Screaming and shouting at each-other... So I just kind of zoned out until the end." He said, guilt
pouring from behind his eyes. Aubrey gave him a light tap from her fist on his upper arm.

"Hey, it's okay. Christ I know I zoned out most of the time when my mom and dad argued." She
said, before smiling back at him.

"You're here now though. And like, we've got alot of catching up to do. You've missed out on
way too much and I'm sure Kel hasn't even scratched the surface of it."

"I think I did a fairly good job. We've just been going at a slow pace, I'd rather not overwhelm
him just to get him up to speed."

"Kel I've worked with you in class before. You kind of suck at explaining anything." Kim said,
rolling her eyes.

"That's math class dude, no one is good at explaining Math. Even the teacher sucks at it."

"Mr. DuBois? No he's great, I had him last year and that's the first time I got above a C in high
school Math." Vance chimed in.

"Well he sucks for me and that's what matters. He's better as a P.E. Teacher."

"Anyways... You called it Kidnapping Aubrey so like... Oh wait is he..." Kim said, as her
expression shifted. Aubrey nodded as Kim's mood went south.

"Oh Jeez... I didn't realize how important he was... Well if you guys need some time with him
we can just-"

"Oh C'mon, stop it. You're Aubrey's friends just as much as we are. Besides, it was good he got
to meet you guys as soon as he did. Got to make a good first impression before I fed him all the lies
and slander I had cooking up." Kel said with a smirk.

"See, spoken like a true Villain! You really are a clever Foe, Kelsey." The Maverick said, bangs
still covering his eyes as he chuckled.

"... Please do not call me Kelsey, it sounds weird coming from you."

"Still... Four years is a long time... So you're back with your mom now huh?" Kim said, as she
scooted closer to Aubrey.

"Yeah... Same house too... It's nice being back..." Sunny said, before laying against the grass,
holding the CD next to him to his chest.

"Yeah... Wait a minute, what about school? Is she gonna transfer you into this district soon?"
Aubrey asked, a twinge of excitement sparking across her face. Sunny looked up at her and shook
his head.

"She said it's too late to transfer in this Semester... And that we were gonna talk about it later... I
haven't even been to public school since the first year with my dad."

"How does that even work? Aren't you just gonna get held back for all those years you missed?"
Kim asked, swiping the taffy out of her brothers hand as she began chewing.

"... My dad knew a tutor who specialized in that... I still had to go to school for standardized tests
but I just did them alone with a teacher..."

"... So are you gonna come back to school?" Kel asked, leaning over to look at Sunny.

"... I... I don't know... Sorry..."

"Nah, it's all cool dude. Just keep us informed, maybe when you decide you can text... Wait do
you even have a phone? Your mom kept telling me to text her if you're having trouble..."

"I uh... I didn't leave the apartment without my dad much... I'd wander up to the roof sometimes
but I never really needed a phone. My mom said she'd add me to her phone plan later."

"Yeah you really should get one. My parents don't have Cells but my mom got a plan for me,
Hero and Aubrey ever since he went to college... Plus it's not like her mom could ever manage to
even go outside to take out the trash." Sunny cocked his head slightly, before he laid back down on
the grass. The four years he spent in his dad's care weren't that long in the grand scheme of things...
But it felt like the world had almost passed him by... Even back then Hero and Mari couldn't have
dreamed of having cellphones and calling each-other without having to use their parents landlines.

"Time flies." Sunny quietly said to himself. The sun peeked out from behind the clouds. He felt
the the chill of autumn gently inch over him. It was nice. The cold of the city was harsh, like every
gust of wind was designed to impede you. This wind felt natural. It was cold but it was far less
harsh. He noticed Aubrey zipping up her jacket, Kim shoving her hands into the pockets of her
hoodie, and Kel blowing into his hands to warm them back up.

Sunny was Nervous. This was nothing new. He had been nervous talking to Aubrey at first. He
was still nervous talking to Aubrey's new friends. He was nervous about what he should do about
schooling when him and his mother finally started talking about it. He'd been nervous since he
woke up in the middle of that autumn night after having a nightmare and noticed that Mari wasn't
in her bed...

But this was something simpler. Something easier. A nervousness he wanted to conquer.
Because behind the door Kel was knocking on was... Was Basil.

The topic at the lake had shifted to Basil eventually, after learning more about the Hooligans
and Aubrey. Apparently the Hooligans were actually quite Close with Basil, at least more so than
they were with Kel. When Kel talked about Aubrey protecting Basil, he meant her and the
Hooligans protecting him.

"Hey, deep breaths dude. It'll be okay." Aubrey said turning around to look at him. Sunny
blushed a little. The way they worried about him... His heart ached any time he felt it. It was
wrong. He didn't deserve it. But he didn't correct them. He was selfish, he knew it, but that feeling
was nice, even when tinged with guilt.

"Okay..." He said, as he clenched his hand and took three slow breaths. In. And out... In. And
out... In. And out... Sunny's heart wasn't pounding out of his chest now. It was still faster than he'd
like, but that was fine. He can handle this. He can-

Kel and Aubrey turned as they heard the door open, Sunny almost hidden behind them.

"Hel- O-oh, hey Kel, hey Aubrey. I don't see you two together often... Is something wrong?"
Basil asked, as sunny could feel his heart rate rising a little. His voice was a little different, but the
same way he spoke, he always worried about everyone else before himself... Kel gave Basil a
smug look before speaking.

"Nope, in fact, something is very right! And we've come to show you!" Kel said, before Aubrey
punched his arm.

"Christ you give me a headache when you act all Smug like that. Anyways, Basil, if you start
crying, just know that we don't blame you." She said, before stepping aside alongside Kel, before
Sunny had fully prepared himself.

The moment between the two of them was strange. Both Aubrey and Kel didn't immediately
notice him, in different ways. But Basil was Paralyzed. Sunny saw the shifting emotions behind his
eyes, as they sent his mind into overdrive. This wasn't a good idea. Sure, Basil was his friend but...
He had seen it. He was the only one of his friends who'd seen her. He'd seen the train wreck Sunny
was as he was collapsed in the backyard. Those were the last memories of his best friend. Even if
he still cared, which wasn't likely, those memories had to be tainted with sorrow and grief.
 And Basil began Sobbing. The kind that wasn't pretty. He shoved himself into Sunny's chest and
bawled his heart out, His nose began running as Aubrey and Kel started to panic.

"Oh jeez, Sunny, both of you come on in, we need to get Basil some tissues or something!"
Aubrey said, as she dragged the two of them into Basil's house, Kel right behind while Basil let
himself get completely wrought with emotions, before Kel shoved him and Sunny onto the couch.

"Uh, alright, you two sit down, Basil do you-Nevermind, he's not gonna be any help for the
moment. POLLY! ARE YOU HERE?!" Kel shouted, as he ran to the back half of the house,
Leaving sunny alone with a sobbing blonde who couldn't speak between all the bouts of crying.

Sunny was mortified right now. He was only keeping it together and not running out of the
house because he was too afraid of the outside to risk being there. His mind felt like the primordial
ooze that humans were made of, every single thought turning into black sludge as his body could
barely keep itself from shaking. So much for keeping his anxiety under control.

Basil was now staring at him, still sobbing, his face a mess, but less tears were flowing than
before. He brought his hands up and touched Sunny's shoulders as he took deep breaths, trying to
stop the sobbing, but he couldn't. Finally, Basil collapsed into Sunny's lap, holding onto him and
crying still as sunny felt his body trembling with every sob.

Sunny finally stopped staring into Basil's blue eyes once He heard Kel and Aubrey Rushing into
the room. Kel lifted Basil up as they handed him some tissues and a glass of water. It took a while,
but he finally stared wiping his tears away.

"It's okay Basil. It happens sometimes." Aubrey said, as she ruffled his blonde hair.

"... I'm... I'm sorry... That was... Embarrassing..." Basil said, clearing out his throat after having
almost strained his vocal chords from that much sobbing.

"C'mon I'm sure I've done way more embarrassing things than that." Kel said. Before he was
even finished, Basil was clinging to Sunny, almost scaring him with how quick he was.

"Y-you're... You're really back... I thought I'd die before I ever got to see you again..." Basil said,
whimpering a little, but holding back the tears from overwhelming him again.

"... I'm so happy to see you again..." Sunny said, his face tinged with red as he was barely able to
stammer out the words.

"I could tell. You're really not good at hiding your emotions..." Basil said, with a slight chuckle.

"But coming from me, must sound like an insult, huh?" He said, Kel and Aubrey sitting back
down after they were sure the waterworks was over.

"Hey I cried when I saw him too, it's fine. Although knowing Kel he probably almost squeezed
the life out of Sunny when he saw him."

"His mom literally said exactly that phrase!" He said excitedly, while Aubrey rolled her eyes
before looking back at the two boys sitting together.

"Still, now the whole gangs back together. Well, except Hero, but he doesn't even live in
Faraway anymore, so we only get to see him on break." She said, leaning back and sighing, before
Kel chimed in.

"Hey, he comes home later this week, so all we have to do is make sure none of us like,
spontaneously combust or something, alright?"

"... So um... Sunny... How long are you... Going to be in faraway?" Basil asked, fingers clasping
his glass as his lower lip trembled while asking the question.

"Sunny lives here now."

Basil shot Kel a look before turning to Sunny with complete shock.

"B-but, I thought, you know, with your dad and all that-"

"That Bitch doesn't have any say over Sunny now. His mom finally told him what's what and she
has complete custody." Aubrey said with a look of pure glee on her face. Basil took another drink
and stared at the surface of the water.

"This... I'm sorry I almost started crying again..." Basil said, grabbing another tissue and wiping
the tears away.

"You're back... Forever..." Basil said, a smile finally overwhelming the unease across his face.
Sunny stared back at him. He didn't like the feeling in his chest. With Aubrey he knew what it
meant, but Basil... He was his friend. He didn't want to feel this way for... He didn't deserve to feel
this way for him. He didn't deserve to feel that way for anyone...

"I-I should take a picture! I'll be right back!" He said, leaving sunny back with Kel and Aubrey
who were both smiling like idiots.

"It's nice seeing him excited like that for once. He's not really been as eager for anything outside
of his plants since... Well since you left. It's part of what made him an easy target for those kids at
school." Aubrey said before slamming her fist into her palm.

"But they're just cowards who run away at the sight of one girl with a weapon. They could never
really hurt people."

"I'm glad he doesn't hate me..." Sunny said, earning him shocked stares from the both of them.

"Why the hell would he ever hate you dude? You two were like the bestest buds ever! You two
probably hung out more on average than me and hero, and we lived together!"

"... I just... Basil was there when... Nevermind. I don't wanna talk about it." He said, using an
uncharacteristically firm voice. Kel leaned over with a worried look.

"Hey... Would you be okay talking about it later? Whenever you're ready to? Saying stuff like
that is just gonna worry us more." He said, as Sunny clutched at his pants. Oh of course. He had
them worried now. Good job sunny. Way too go ruining this fucking reunion with your shitty
fucking att-

"Hey sunny, could you look over here?" Basil called out, as sunny turned only to see a long
forgotten flash. Basil... Still had that old thing, of course. It had seen better days, from the new
scuff marks and the wear and tear on certain parts, but it was the same camera that had captured his
sweetest memories.

"Yup, came out perfectly~" He said, before setting down the camera, and pulling out the photo
album from under his arm. Oh... Oh he still had it...

"Hey Sunny, we should commemorate you coming back in here~ I've uh, I've been taking less
photos since then, but I've been trying to use this one still... And well, this is... A really special
moment..." He said, as Sunny stared at the book.

"... Can we look at the photos again?" Sunny said almost blurting it out he was so eager. The
voice in his head was completely drowned out by the promise of the memories he'd made with the
people he cared about.

"Of course! That's what it's for you know?" Basil said, scooting closer to Sunny and setting the
Album on the table, while Kel and Aubrey scooted their chairs over a little, making sure not to
scuff Basil's hardwood floor.

They started from the beginning. Basil's first photo... It felt painful to see himself like that. He
was so excited to finally play the violin again... It was so sweet of his friends to get together all that
money for it...

"Basil, how... How old are you now?" Sunny said, staring at the few pictures he had taken for
Basil's birthday. He remembered Kel asking to be the photographer, but Basil chose sunny instead.
Something about him having "More of an eye" for this kind of thing.

"What? Oh, I'm sixteen now... W-why?"

"... I just forgot..." He said, his ears turning red. He didn't want to admit, but that was the real
reason. He may have counted the days but when every day felt the same you forget what time even
means.

Basil smiled, before the groups eyes ran down the page. They didn't speak much for the first few
pages, letting themselves, and especially sunny, relish in the memories.

"He better not have gotten rid of your stuffed animals." Aubrey said, as she looked at the photo
of the group piled underneath a veritable mountain of them. Sunny shook his head.

"Mom kept those." He said, as his eyes locked onto the flower crowns... He remembered
something from back then... Something about flowers...

Simple... Plain... Modest... He'd repeat it in his head a few times, as he laughed a little. Yeah, put
selfish at the end instead and he was right on the money.

He definitely remembered this photo. He remembered Basil teasing him about his feelings for
her. He hoped he wouldn't bring that up in front of Kel and Aubrey. Neither of them ever needed to
know.

"Man, how is summer in the city? I bet it must be absolutely awful! Not to mention there's no
way your dad would take you to the beach or anything like that." Kel said, whistling at the thought
of a city wide heat wave, as he thumbed through a page of pictures during their summer break.

"Our apartment had AC. He always hated the heat... And the cold. One week it broke though,
and he kept screaming whenever I'd open the window." Sunny said, as the other three looked at
him.

"... Screaming?" Basil said with a slight waver in his voice.

"Yeah. Our neighbors ended up pounding on the door to tell him to shut up. It was kind of
funny." Sunny said, as he felt the atmosphere grow a little more bitter. Oh... Yeah he probably
shouldn't have talked about his father. Good job Sunny.
 "... I-I'm sorry..." He said, before Kel shook his head.

"Stop it, nothings wrong... At least, nothings wrong anymore." He said, putting a hand on
Sunny's shoulder.

"... Y-yeah... I like it here... I... I love it here..." He said, as he turned the page. It was a picture of
him sleeping on the couch cuddling with Mewo. Mewo looked so content... Oh. Mewo hadn't been
at their house. And His mother hadn't mentioned him... Deep breaths, Sunny repeated in his head,
Mewo was plenty old, they lived a long and happy life, it's sad but you don't have to cry. Don't cry.
Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't you dare fucking c-

Sunny's attempts to suppress the incoming flood of emotion didn't work. He felt his body
shaking against his will, his head in his hands now as he started sobbing. Mewo was just a pet, so it
shouldn't hurt this much, but...

"Hah, you really do act like a cat so- W-woah, Sunny are you okay?" Aubrey said, watching as
Sunny kept on sobbing.

"... I didn't realize... Mewo..." He said, curling up slowly as His friends looked back to the photo.
Kel grimaced. Sunny couldn't stop the reaction, his body shaking as he let out all the pain he had
been holding in. A moment later, Basil wrapped his arms around sunny, his breath hitched as he
felt his arms holding him tightly.

"We can continue later Sunny... Just let it all out..." He said, as sunny began wailing. He didn't
feel like he deserved it, but he still hugged basil back, wishing he never had to let go. It hurt so
much. He had missed so much. He wasn't even the friend they once had, but they were still here,
wasting their time on him. He didn't deserve people like them.

"Basil, I'm ba- Oh, Aubrey, Kel, it's good to see you!" The strange woman who had just entered
through Basil's front door greeted them, before noticing Sunny sobbing as Basil held him.

"Oh dear, am I interrupting anything? I can make myself scarce if you need me to."

"It's okay Polly..." Basil said, rubbing Sunny's back as he buried his face in basil's Chest. He
didn't even acknowledge the new person in the house, his entire body overwrought with emotion.

"I'd introduce you but Sunny needs a moment." He said, as Polly's eyes shot open.

"Oh! Oh that's... I wasn't expecting... Well take as much time as you need. I'll drop the groceries
off in the kitchen for now then." She said, quickly walking past them as Sunny pulled his face out
of Basil's chest. His tears hadn't calmed down but his body was shaking less.

"Sunny... Can you talk? Or do you still need some more time?" Aubrey asked, before Sunny
finally turned towards her, and immediately began hiccuping. Basil couldn't help but giggle as he
handed him the same box of tissues he'd used earlier. Sunny blew his nose as he caught his breath.
Oh God... Crying that hard really hurt... And this was just seeing a picture of Mewo... He felt
nervous about what else might hit this deeply, strike a chord so hard he couldn't function.

"I-i-I-I think... I think... It's done..." He said as Basil kept his hands on him, slowly unwrapping
their arms as he felt Basil's eyes pore over him. The blonde felt comfortable with Sunny's own
assessment, as he finally stopped staring.

"Well... you've met Polly now. She's my grandma's caretaker... She's been with us for a few
years now, ever since grandma started getting less active." Basil said as sunny blew his nose again.
He was still shaking, but he wasn't non functional.
 "Sh-she seems n-n-nice... I'm sorry... W-we were having so much f-f-f-fun... And I just m-m-
messed it up..." He said, tears trailing down his cheeks yet again. You sure did Sunny, good job,
and over a stupid little c-

"No, you did nothing wrong. You shouldn't apologize for feeling sad." Aubrey said, while Kel
nodded along.

"Yeah you loved that cat, besides... It was more than just Mewo, wasn't it?" He said, as sunny
turned his head. It took a moment, but eventually he would relent, nodding.

"Yeah... I don't want to talk about it right now... But I will when I'm ready... I... I promise..." He
left the rest unsaid, but that was Enough for Kel to relax.

"Take all the time you need dude. We aren't going anywhere." She said, before reaching over to
rub his arm. After a few moments of silence, she spoke again.

"Say... You mentioned you needed help getting set up in your place. I know you said your Mom
was going to do it, but... You wouldn't complain if we came with you right?"

"Y-you guys don't have to do something like that, I'm sure you're all b-busy, you've got school
and-and-"

"Well if you want a different reason, then I don't wanna to back home to my mother's right now,
so either I'm gonna stay at your place or Kel's." Sunny was shocked by how insistent she was,
before looking to Kel for any form of support.

"I mean... I was gonna ask tomorrow once you were set up, but if we can hang out even longer
today, then that's all the better to me."

"I'd... I'd like to visit too. If that's okay obviously... I can understand if you'd rather be alone with
your Mom right now." Basil said, before Sunny finally forced the answer our from his throat.

"I... I don't want to be alone..." Sunny meekly said. He felt like such a selfish piece of shit... But
he didn't want today to end. He didn't deserve these friends... But he had missed them so much...
He wanted to be with them more. He wanted to share that happiness he felt somewhere in his heart.

"Then we're all coming over. Should I bring some snacks?" Basil asked, as he was about to run
back to the kitchen to talk to Polly. Sunny shook his head.

"Don't worry Sunny, there's no way we're just gonna leave you. Besides without me you'll still
be acting like a city slicker!" Kel said, for once eating a light chuckle from sunny.

"You're going to wear that joke out in a month, mark my words." Aubrey said, as Basil
continued his journey to the kitchen. Sunny didn't feel okay. But this wasn't bad. He hurt, but the
pain in his heart had dulled as he sat with his friends.

It was nice being around people who loved him in spite of everything. In spite of him.

Chapter End Notes

Music Notes:
The Title of this Chapter is taken from the 1984 Soft Cell album "This Last Night in
Sodom"

Soft Cell is really God damned great, one of the best synth pop bands of all of them!
I'm serious please give a listen to something of theirs besides their rendition of Tainted
Love (As good as it is), preferably Say Hello, Wave Goodbye as that may be one of
the best synth pop songs ever crafted, right up there with Souvenir by OMD. As for
the album itself, it's probably their most Aggressive, and darkest in lyrical content.
Like if you do choose to listen to it, educate yourself beforehand, but if you can
stomach potentially triggering topics like survivors guilt and sexual assault, you'll be
in for by far their most emotionally resonant album (At least that I've listened to, I still
haven't gotten around to Cruelty Without Beauty or The Bedsit Tapes)

As for the song, I initially chose it representing Basil, but listening to it and rereading
the lyrical content, it can honestly be applied to any of the three romantic leads, and I
think that ambiguity lends more depth to the choice as a whole. What do you think?

Since there's only one song in this chapter, I'll just go out on a limb and recommend
another album I've been listening to.

Jack Frost's 1991 self titled album.

A collaboration between two influential figures in the 1980's Australian alternative

rock scene, Jack Frost's Debut album lends a sense of Grounding to Steve Kilbey's (of
The Church) often abstract and esoteric Lyrics via his co-writer, Grant McLennan (of
The Go-betweens), alongside an impromptu approach to song writing and
instrumentation that leads to an album that whilst consistent, never quite feels the
same track to track. Choice Cuts include "Thought That I Was Over You" and
"Providence"

Thank you for listening to my Rambling. If you have anything to say, Either about the
story or about music, be it positive or negative, I'd genuinely love to hear it.

- Magus
 I'll Be Your Shelter (Just Like A Shelter)
Chapter Summary

Sunny wishes every day could feel this comforting.

Chapter Notes

100 Kudos, I'm honestly speechless. Thank you all so much, I hope I can keep all of
you engaged throughout the ups and downs of this story (And trust me, while I won't
go too grim, there will be downs in the future). I've had this chapter done for a while
actually, but I've been giving it a once... twice... thrice over trying to make sure I'm
satisfied with it. At a certain point though, I have to throw my hands up or I might end
up scrapping the whole thing, so I hope you enjoy.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The crunching leaves underfoot felt thicker than they did a few hours ago. The sky was cast a
hazy shade of yellow as the row of trees separating His house from the church was cast in a sinister
light, almost looking like something otherworldly could be skulking around inside and no one
would be the wiser. Halloween Next year could be fun.

Sunny didn't expect to be back home so soon. He didn't expect to be coming home alongside his
friends either. Well excluding Kel. Kel would always walk him home from the bus stop after
school, and something told him he hadn't changed enough to drop that habit.

"I really should have visited Ms Thompson earlier. It's been so long since I've been here. I see
her sometimes when me and Polly are at the hardware store, but otherwise, I've just... Never been
back." Basil said, as they walked past Kel's house, towards Sunny's abode. His face held a guilty
smile for a moment.

Four years removed, it was like he was living in a mirage. They had all progressed so much
farther than him, and yet it felt like there was a chance things could go back to the way they used
to be. But he could tell that his heart wouldn't even accept something as simple as that. What a
fool, he chastised himself for thinking. Sunny walked in front of his... His friends as he opened the
door.

"Welcome back Su- Oh you brought your friends as well!" Sunny's mother said, running up to
hug him as he immediately regretted bringing them over. He felt so awkward being held like this,
even though Basil held him earlier this same day. Maybe it was because of being held by Basil,
remembering the sweet smell of- Sunny felt sick. Noticing the way he squirmed, his mother
eventually let go, giving her son a little more space.

"Well, Welcome back everyone. I haven't had this many guests in awhile, Kelsey's mother
always refuses any request to let me host them over at my house. Probably doesn't help that Sally is
such a nervous little thing."
 "She really is, the last time I was over she started crying when she saw me." Aubrey chuckled.

"Sally?" Was all sunny could think to ask, as Kel suddenly slapped his forehead.

"Dang it! I wanted to surprise you but with everything that happened, I forgot... Sunny, guess
whose a proud older brother now?" He said, before pointing to himself with a smirk. Sunny didn't
know how to react, trying his best to imagine a miniature Kel. Well Kel as a girl... Which was
almost the same as Regular Kel.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure you get to meet her soon. But that's not the important part right now.
Ms. Thompson, we all came today to help Sunny with his room, if that's okay with you."

"Oh, I never expected you would ever wanna organize anyone's bedroom. You mom always
complained how you left your side such a mess while Henry had to pick up-"

"Jeez, I can't catch a break can I? That was years ago, I'm way better about it now, trust me!"

"Well, I'm fine with it either way Kelsey. Even if you don't get anything done, it'll be nice to
have you all over again." She said before walking back upstairs.

"I'll be on my computer doing some organization, but if you need any help, just knock on my
door Honey~" Kel and Aubrey looked around as she disappeared up the stairs. The two of them
were already inspecting everything, the couch, the chair, the dining table, the TV.

"... It's unreal how little has changed in the house... Look, she couldn't even get the orange juice
stain out of the carpet." Basil said, smiling just a little

"It shouldn't have been that hard to get out... I've spilled orange Joe on half my shirts and they've
never left a Mark like this. But most of them still smell like oranges even after washing them." Kel
joked

"... How are you that clumsy? Like, how do you even spill it that many times?" Aubrey said,
socking him in the arm as she marched into the kitchen to check it out.

"Jeez, this is... Alot of stuff." She said, as she noticed all the various utensils his mother has on
the drying rack.

"Didn't you say Hero was teaching her about cooking a couple years back Kel?" Basil asked, as
sunny followed along rather closely behind him. Sunny quietly wanted to die in a ditch as he
remembered how good Basil's hair smelled.

"Yeah, he said it was just to help her get better about taking care of herself, but in all honesty I
think he just wanted to cook with someone again. At home Mom was always very particular about
the kitchen so he only ever gets to like, help out by watching a pot or following instructions."

"Probably because of you Kel. Any time you went anywhere near that Kitchen someone got
burned. Usually Her."

"C'mon Aubrey, I was just trying to help! It's Boring sitting at the table when there's no food!"

As they messed with each-other and argued table and dinner etiquette, Sunny felt something
come back into his head. A thought, Surfacing slowly like a monster rising from the depths. He
took a moment to identify this thought. He'd had it before. Back when he saw Hero and Mari
cooking. But he didn't want to take away his sister's time with Hero... And now even though he
knew Hero would be even busier, he... He still wanted to ask for his help.
 "When is Hero coming back Kel?"

"It should just be like... Friday or so? He's coming back for three days for Thanksgiving."

"Can you ask him if he'd teach me?" He said, earning a small look of surprise from the other
three.

"Like... How to cook? Sure, why not? It's not like he'd ever say no to you." Kel said, rubbing the
back of his head and grinning.

"Honestly out of all of us, I never really expected you to ever wanna cook yourself. Sorry if
that's rude but it's the truth." Aubrey would chime in, to which the rest of the group nodded
sheepishly.

"Y-yeah, you never seemed the cooking type Sunny. Any reason you wanna learn?" Sunny
turned towards Basil and frowned slightly, before he replied.

"... I just wanna help my mom... And I don't wanna feel like I'm... Not contributing anything..."
He said, forcing himself to avoid the words he always thought. Dead weight. He didn't want to feel
like dead weight anymore. He didn't want to feel like a worthless sack of meat. Aubrey smacked
him on the back as he yelped in surprise.

"Jeez, don't get so negative about it. I'm sure she'd be glad to have your help... But if it makes
you feel better, I think that's a good enough reason too." She said, giving him a smile. As the other
two milled in the kitchen with Sunny, she would be the first to leave, making her way towards the
Stairs.

"Yeah Sunny, I already know how to cook so... If you need some help I'm here for you too. Sure
I may not have learned all the stuff Hero has but I helped my grandma and Polly cook plenty of
times!" Basil said, sunny feeling like he saw the boys eyes glitter for a fraction of a second. As the
rest of them exited the kitchen, they noticed Aubrey already at the staircase.

"It's the same room right?" She said, as sunny confirmed, the four of them walking up the
stairs... Well, the three. Basil lagged behind, staring at the practice room. He didn't wait long, just
a moment, before catching back up with them. Inside Sunny's room, his mother had already moved
a few boxes inside, all clearly labeled. It seems she had already met up with Kel's parents and
gotten a box Labeled "Hero's" alongside a box of stuffed animals, a box of miscellaneous and a box
labeled Stereo. Aubrey examined them curiously.

"What's this Hero one for?"

"Oh We're getting rid of some of his old clothes, so I told Ms Thompson about it and she asked if
they could look through them first."

"Shit, let me look through these too then, Hero probably has that jacket in here that he could
never pull off."

"Which jacket was that?" Kel asked, as Aubrey excitedly pulled out something shocking- a
denim jacket, a deep crimson with black stitches.

"Fuck yeah! Hero tried wearing this a couple times but it just wasn't his style at all. Way too bad
boy for him. I think his dad accidentally laughed at him when he saw it and Hero realized how
dorky he looked in it." She said, already dropping her jacket on the floor to try on this new one.
Correct to her assumption, it fit her style far more... But it wasn't her color really. The pink hair and
dark red coat could work, but not with her current outfit.
 "It's good, but it's not quite the right shade for me... Hey sunny, try it on!" She said excitedly,
shoving the jacket in his arms after taking it off. Sunny was confused, till he saw a glint of
something sinister in her eyes. Oh, this was the Aubrey he remembered. It gave him a wonderful
feeling to know that her mischievous side, the side that relished in her and Kel's back and forth,
egging each-other on, who'd indulge Mari's tendencies to mess with her boyfriend, was still under
the new veneer she had formed. He was going to get teased... But this was the kind of thing he
expected from Aubrey.

Sunny nodded happily, taking off his sweater and sliding the jacket on. It was a little bit big on
him, but he still had a bit of room to grow, hopefully... And it probably had a load of laundry or
two to shrink, considering how new it felt. He soon noticed Aubrey wasn't laughing, before he
looked to see her shaking her head.

"Wow Sunny, you... You actually look pretty cool..." Basil said, gazing at sunny with a look of
surprise, alongside something else sunny didn't recognize. He really should get a mirror in this
room if he's going to have to start caring about how he dresses...

"Damn it, I should have known he'd look good in it, all that he's wearing is black..." She said,
before tugging the jacket off for him, her face far too close for his comfort as he grew a much
brighter red than the jacket was. Aubrey, thankfully, didn't assume much of it.

"Alright Sunny, anything that we know fits goes over here." She said, before tossing the jacket
onto the bed. She would then pour out all the clothes onto the floor and urge everyone to come
closer.

"Alright, so anything we think would fit Sunny's style is gonna go in this pile, while this one
over here will be things sunny refuses to wear. If he votes that he doesn't want to that's final. And if
there's something he wants to wear but we don't think it would look good, then we'll let him go to
the bathroom to try it on."

"Wow, you've really got this pretty organized Aubrey. Like I figured you would since you're
better dressed than I've ever been but Damn." Kel said, as he started sorting through the pile.

"Why do you think the Maverick stopped wearing those awful shades last year? We all went
over to his place and told his family we were going to fix his wardrobe. They practically lead us to
him. He was like a lamb to the slaughter."

"... And yet you still can't get him to give up the wig?"

"Baby Steps Kel, Baby Steps."

"... Why is he called the maverick?" Sunny asked, as basil pulled out a button up with a collage
of... What looked like plants and fungus on it. Sunny looked at it and shrugged. Onto the maybe
pile it went.

"To tell you the truth every time I ask that it gets more and more incomprehensible. So I'll just
stick to the first answer he gave me; He thinks a title is cooler than a name."

"Yeah his real name is Mikhael. His family runs the bakery inside the grocery store, nice
people, I always buy banana bread from them the day after a game."

"Huh... Banana bread sounds tasty..." Was all Sunny said as he pulled up a pair of black dress
pants with a strange material... He tossed them into the maybe pile as they continued sorting his
clothes. Sunny was shocked by the sheer amount of clothes to sort through, until they started
pulling out clothes from when Hero must have been eight. This made their job much easier, as
anything that absolutely wouldn't be able to fit was tossed straight back into the box.

"So... I think we're at a good point. Let's start looking through the maybe pile." Aubrey said as
she began sorting the pile separately. Shirts, pants, jackets, hats, all separated. She pulled out
several of the button up sweaters and tossed them at Sunny.

"Try these on for us would you?" She said as she sat back down on the floor. Sunny nodded as
he began to separate the pile he had been tossed. He tried them on one by one, not really having
any preference which way for what he wore. He just wanted clothes that felt comfortable... And
almost every single one of them did. However, his friends had a few more opinions on them. He
knew words like cut and silhouette, but he didn't understand what they meant in the terms of
fashion. To be fair it seems Kel didn't either, but he could keep up with Aubrey far more than
Sunny could.

Sunny couldn't tell what they meant was good or bad, but by the end of his impromptu fashion
show, they'd separated a decently sized pile of clothes for him to add to his wardrobe. Kel whistled
as he stretched his arms, finally standing up.

"Well, I guess that's a job well done! Anything else we need to organize for you Sunny?" He
said, looking around the room before his eyes landed on a box in the corner. Sunny hadn't opened
it yet. Because on it was simply written 'Mari'. Sunny noticed Kel's expression shift, and
immediately identified the box in question.

Aubrey and Basil noticed the two boys shifting expressions, as they slowly turned their heads as
they all faced it, like it was a great beast that could tear them apart any second. Aubrey was the
bravest, so she took the first steps to grab the box. Shockingly enough, Sunny ran after her,
grabbing her hand, making her think he wanted to stop her.

"Let's... Let's all open it... Together..." He said, squeezing her hand tight as she stared at him in
mild shock. There was something else underneath as she felt his warm hand in hers, but it wasn't
noticeable by Sunny right now. However, she would nod and squeeze his hand back as the four of
them moved the box into the middle of the room. Aubrey pulled out a knife, and Sunny
immediately wanted to question why she'd have one, but... He was too scared of this box to focus
on anything else for the moment. The four of them all counted down together as they finally
opened it.

Inside was, rather mundane, even for the emotionally unsteady Sunny. The first couple layers
were some old Shirts. A bag of Makeup. Some old school supplies. Her CD's. And at the very
bottom, a computer. He remembered when his parents had bought it. Ostensibly it was for Mari to
learn more about music through the internet, at least that's what his father had explained. In the
end, Sunny mostly used it to play Solitaire and DOS games, after hero taught him how to launch
them.

"... Well that was certainly Anti-climactic. I was expecting to get possessed by demons for
opening this. Or at least like, a jack in the box to pop out and scare me half to death." Kel said,
before he pulled out one of the CD's.

"Who the hell are The Boo Radleys?"

"Isn't that from that book we read in freshman year?" Aubrey said.

"Well whoever they are, I've never heard of them." He said, before he took all the CD's to set
them on Sunny's Shelf.
 "I'll put them here, then you can take your time looking at them later. Sides, we've still got some
more important fish to fry." He said, as the now demystified box would be shoved back into the
corner.

"Now... Which box... Which box..." Kel said, looking between them before he grabbed the box
filled with stuffed animals, moving the rather larger object to the center of the room. It had already
been opened yesterday when Sunny's mother helped him unpack a few of them to make the bed
more comfortable. And they had barely made a scratch.

The rest of the group gasped as they opened the box. Inside was packed tightly to the brim with
dozens upon dozens upon dozens of stuffed animals. It felt like you could dive in and get lost for
hours upon hours.

"Jeez Sunny, I remembered there being alot of them but... This is... Almost absurd..." Aubrey
said, before pushing a hand into the pile and watching it sink into the depth of the plushies. She
chuckled as she sank to her elbow in stuffed animals, packed so well together that it felt like all of
them were enveloping her arm.

"Jeez... Well let's start trying to pile as many that can fit onto Sunny's bed! C'mon I'm sure he
can fit half of this box on there and still have room to sleep!" Kel said, grabbing an armful of
plushies and piling them on the bed, leaving space in the middle for sunny to tuck himself in.
Aubrey withdrew her arm and started cramming more of them into her grasp, while basil took a
much more modest amount of them. Sunny, reached as deep as he could into the box, grabbing the
largest thing he felt. It was a rather sizable cat plushie. His Grey eyes stared into the plushies black
ones, feeling the world revolve around them for a moment, before he squeezed it tight. This one
would have a special place right next to him on his bed.

Minutes passed as they'd carefully arrange his bed with the plushies, creating a valley of them,
with Sunny's resting place in the middle. By the time they were done, the box had been halfway
emptied, as the group looked at the bed. Sunny was tempted to dive in immediately, but decided
against it. Considering everything that happened today, he'd probably fall asleep the instant he hit
the mattress today.

"Do you need any more help Sunny? If not we could just sit downstairs for awhile... Or if it's
still up in the backyard we could-" Kel said, before Sunny put his hands up and shook his head.

"No backyard. Not right now." He said, as Basil could see Sunny tensing up at the word.

"Of course. Whatever's best." Basil said, already understanding the reason for Sunny's protest.

"So living room it is." Aubrey said as the four of them moved the large boxes back into a neatly
organized pile, before shuffling back downstairs. Sunny's mom in the meanwhile had moved
downstairs to take a call, writing down some details in her Notebook. The group quietly shuffled
around her as they made their way to the couch.

"Right... 3 in the afternoon... And you said the address was?... Right... Right... Avenue, correct?
Just wanna make sure we don't waste each-others time because of a miscommunication... Thank
you so much for understanding... Alright, we'll see you then!" She said, before finally hanging up
the phone and taking a deep breath.

"Who was that Ms. Thompson?" Kel asked, leaning over the edge of the couch to look at her.

"Oh just scheduling a meeting with a professional. It's been four years so I want to make sure I'm
doing the best for Sunny." She said, as she danced around the exact nature of the meeting. She
didn't know if sunny was comfortable with his friends knowing he'd be in therapy after all.

"Well we got through half the stuffed animals. Built sunny a sarcophagus of them. I know they
shared the collection but good lord that was so many!" Aubrey said, staring at her hands and
making a squeezing motion. His mother chuckled as she sat down in the love seat next to the
couch.

"Well back when they were young I always loved spoiling them, so whenever Sunny ended up
clinging to one of them while we were shopping, I'd usually end up buying it for him later." She
said, smiling so much sweeter as sunny felt like he could see something flicker across her eyes.

"Well, what are you four planning? There's not much else to organize around here before me and
Sunny go shopping later, so I sadly won't need your help..." His mother said before she bit her
fingernail. The way her eyes glanced across the group...

"Basil, were you a vegetarian or was it something else?"

"O-oh no ma'am, I just really liked tofu is all." Basil said, stammering as Sunny's mother clapped
her hands.

"I haven't cooked for this many people in awhile, but how would you four like some Lunch? It
would be nice to have more people to cook for." She said with a smile.

"I'd be a fool to turn down free food." Aubrey said almost immediately.

"You would be. I wasn't planning anything extravagant anyways, but for five people, this is
gonna be a little more difficult... Oh wait, I still have a box of fish sticks in the freezer, would any
of you be interested in that?" She said, as the four of them looked to each-other and nodded along.

"Alright, since it's just frozen food, I won't have to spend as long in the kitchen. Oh, and you can
turn on the TV if you'd like." She said as she went into the kitchen to preheat the oven. Sunny
reached for the remote and flicked on the TV.

As the group browsed through the channels, Sunny stared blankly at the screen. It had been so
long since he'd actually watched TV, he felt like an outsider as his friends discussed what to watch.

"You really think letting Sunny watch X-Files would be a good idea Kel? I don't know if that's
the best chilling out show... What about food network? Iron Chef might be on right now? That or
maybe good eats?" Aubrey said, swinging her feet as Sunny continued browsing.

Eventually, they'd settle on Aubrey's suggestion, as he'd flick to the food network as the string
section opened the show.

"So like... It's a cooking contest?" He asked as he set the remote down.

"Yeah, the main guy, the one who just ate the Bell Pepper, organized this whole thing as his
'dream project'. He chose some of the best chefs in Japan, and invites competitors to challenge
them to see who can cook the best meal in a timed challenge with a specific ingredient."

"That seems really roundabout... Did he have to build something so elaborate if they're just
cooking?" He said, turning to Kel as he asked.

"I mean, if it's cool why wouldn't you? Besides it's the charm, he's supposed to be eccentric."

"I guess." He said, as he turned back to the show. They were right though, the show was
entertaining, as only a few minutes in Sunny's criticisms would silence as he focused solely on the
competition. Sunny's mother would join them in the living room a moment later, sitting in her chair
excitedly.

"Whose the chef this time?" She asked.

"Sakai, Iron Chef French." Basil replied as all of them excitedly watched.

"It must be hard to cook with Octopus. They just look so... Squirmy and slimey." Aubrey said,
shivering at the thought of having to touch one.

"I mean they're cooking with fresh ones. I imagine if most people were cooking with Octopus
they'd get stuff that's prepared or something, like how most people don't slice their own meat or
filet their own fish." Basil would quietly chime in.

Only a few minutes later, Sunny's mom would run off back into the kitchen as they heard a ding
from the oven. Soon, she'd come back with a plate of fish sticks, and a smaller plate with tartar
sauce.

"Now they've just come out of the oven so wai-" She said only to watch as Kel already took a
bite of one and made a rather uncomfortable face.

"Kel, two seconds. You just had to wait two seconds to get your warning." Aubrey chastised,
before Kel swallowed the rest of the fish stick.

"Hey, it wasn't that hot, just a bit too much for me to eat all at once. I've learned my lesson...
Probably." That for once earned a laugh from Sunny. The rest of the group would wait before
digging in, as they watched Sakai and his Challenger present to the Panel of Judges.

"Sakai is totally gonna lose. Just look at his plating, Compared to Ota he's just not got the
presentation down." Aubrey called her shot the instant plates were shown, before Basil would
chime in.

"It's about taste too Aubrey, he may not have presented his plates well, but if taste makes up for
it He'll have it in the bag."

"Oh yeah, wanna bet on it?"

"What would I even bet? It's not like we've got much to r-" Suddenly, Aubrey gave the blonde a
smirk. It took a moment, but Basil's face went cherry red almost instantly.

"N-no way! I am not betting on that! Besides, it's up to hi-" Basil stopped himself from speaking
as he calmed himself down a little

"Chill dude I'm just messing with you. You're so easy to rile up, it's adorable."

"You're so mean sometimes Aubrey... I'm gonna get payback for that, just you wait." Basil
pouted, while Aubrey laughed even more.

"What Are you two even talking about?"

"None of your business Kel, that's what."

"Aubrey, you wound me, my heart is literally bleeding now." He said, clutching his chest in faux
pain before laughing to himself.
 "Good, maybe the orange Joe in your blood stream will stain the carpet less." She'd say, as the
group finally got to the verdict. The group watched at the edge of their seats, Basil and Aubrey the
most invested in the outcome, despite their being no bet called on it. When the match was called in
the Challengers Favor, Aubrey pumped her fist into the air.

Sunny's mother chuckled watching him and his friends acting like kids for once. He noticed that
look flash across her eyes again. In their reflection, it was like he could see a world where this was
normal. Where the pain and suffering were long distant memories. But that still didn't sit right with
him. He felt his body tense up. Forgetting the pain wasn't possible. It was forgetting her too. He
couldn't forget her. It would be wrong.

Moving on wasn't something he could do.

The rest of their hang out had gone mostly as planned but as the sun set, The group would walk
with Aubrey and Basil back to their homes. Sunny felt the twisting feeling in his stomach. It had
been brewing since he saw that fleeting expression in his mother's eyes. Guilt and so much more
felt like a bottomless pit he could slip into at any moment. Hampered only by the faint glimmer of
something special this situation gave him. Walking his friends home...

"You already went to Gino's with Sunny? Man talk about Buzzkill, I was hoping we could all go
tomorrow, have a big thing with all of us for Sunny's first time back in Gino's. Well, Almost all of
us, but I'm sure hero would understand." Aubrey sighed as she stared up at the sky.

"I mean it's still Gino's, it's not like either of us would object to more of it, right Sunny?" He
said, finally drawing Sunny's attention back. He took a moment longer to reply, before simply
nodding.

"That's not the point... But fine. Today was nice to... To hang out with all of you. I mean it. I
love the Hooligans but you guys are just as important to me." She said, as the group slowed down
for a moment, till they finally stopped on the corner, about to walk towards her house.

"There's no need to get all Sappy just cause Sunny is ba-"

"I'm not being sappy, Kel. I just... I don't know what I'm saying. I guess I just... I missed this.
Hanging out with the Hooligans is different. Bailing Kim and Vance out after they try and steal
candy is different. Having to deal with the fallout of The Maverick's attempted romantic escapades
is different. I'm not saying one is better than the others but... I've really needed you guys. God now
I am getting sappy." She said, laughing at her own words as she turned her eyes to the ground.

"Yeah you are dummy. But I'm glad you were able to say it. It makes me happy to hear we still
mean that much to you." Kel said, before going in for a hug.

"I'll hit you if you try and lift me up I swear." She said as she reciprocated, hugging him back.
Once he let go, she'd immediately turn and Hug basil, making the already smiling blonde let out
almost a squeak.

"You too Basil. I know you hang out with me and the Hooligans alot but... You could stand to
loosen up a little more around them. And I'm sorry for teasing you so much, you just get so
flustered I can't help it. Hope you'll forgive me." She said, as Basil smiled, slowly embracing her as
well.

"You... Thank you Aubrey... And apology accepted. I know I always say this, but you've always
helped me so much... You too Kel..." He said, patting Aubrey's back, before she turned her
 attention to Sunny. O-oh wait was she going t-

Sunny's ears went red as she hugged him tighter than when they'd first met today. The feeling of
her holding him... He felt like his mind was screaming at him. His hands didn't know what to do, as
she finally spoke.

"You do not know how embarrassed I am about what happened at the lake. I... I swear I've
played out scenarios like that daily for the past four years, all the things I wanted to say, and
everything just flew out of my head when I saw you... But you're here. For good. And you don't
understand how happy that made me. Thank you Sunny, for coming back into our lives." Her head
was past Sunny's shoulder, but he could hear in her voice that she was crying... Which he was
already doing as well.

"I love you guys." Was all he could think to say. It barely communicated anything. How much
he'd missed them, how his friends were the only people he'd dreamt about these past four years,
how much he felt he didn't deserve this love they were giving to him, but... Those words would
have to be enough for now. Sunny's teary eyes didn't notice it, but he realized that Basil and Kel
weren't in front of him now, as he felt their arms slide around him as well.

Everything felt right. For the first time in four years, Sunny felt a flicker of hope that wouldn't be
snuffed out by the cool autumn breeze.

Chapter End Notes

Music Notes:

The Title of This Chapter is from The Housemartins 1986 Debut Album "London 0
Hull 4"

Billed as Christian Marxists, the Housemartins are probably the most interesting of the
post-smiths jangle pop bands from the UK. Featuring the lead songwriting duo from
future band The Beautiful South, and also Future acclaimed Electronic Musician
Fatboy Slim on Bass, they really sold their music with playful yet scathing lyrics about
politics, alcoholism, and of course, a touch of socialist/communist ideals. They're fun,
and The Beautiful South is also a fantastic band as well, dropping some of the more
overt communist leanings of Paul Heaton's earlier songwriting for more introspection
and even more cynicism on the music industry itself. Choice cuts from The
Housemartins include "Build", "The People Who Grinned Themselves to Death", and
their wonderful acapella rendition of "Caravan of Love".

I don't actually know much about The Boo Radleys, my mom had I think a CD of
theirs, but my knowledge otherwise is limited. Their earlier stuff is popular with
shoegaze fans though, and I can always recommend shoegaze.

Since again I only have one proper band to talk about, I'll include another one, El
Huervo's "Vandereer". Most well known for his contributions to the Hotline Miami
soundtracks, El Huervo has released like, half a dozen wonderful albums (Not
including his soundtrack work), with Vandereer being by far my personal favorite,
with a really nice flow between songs and the right balance between more downtempo
and active tracks so that it fits the mood no matter what I'm looking for. Choice cuts
include "Rust", which was featured in Hotline Miami 2, and "All About You" Thank
you so much for reading!

- Magus
 Life's What You Make It
Chapter Notes

Gonna stop doing summaries cause I suck at them, unless otherwise necessary (I.e.
Content warnings for more serious events/topics.) Anyways I don't know how I'm
keeping up this pace so far but somehow I am. This along with the next few chapters
are gonna be shorter, mostly because they're smaller in scale, and a little more vignette
based. Less day in the life compared to chapters 3, 4, and 5. Hope you enjoy.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Milk. Check. Eggs. Check. Cereal. Check. Dish Soap. Check. Sunny kept the mental checklist in
his head as his mother went through her actual grocery list from her small notebook. 8 in the
morning was rather early for him, but after yesterday, well he was exhausted in so many ways. By
the time Kel dropped him off at home he was basically on autopilot to bed.

He woke up without dreams for once. It had been two years since he last felt the relief of a
dreamless sleep. And once he was downstairs, with a short conversation in front of the fridge that
morning, Sunny had agreed to help his mother with grocery shopping. He didn't really know why.
It just felt natural to him. So he was pushing the cart while she grabbed the food and necessities for
their house.

Sunny wondered if other grocery stores were always this quiet. In Othermart, he swore you
could hear a pin drop, but he never really had the chance to compare other grocery stores. He never
went to one with his father, that was for sure. Done with food and cleaning supplies, they would
take their next stop with Sunny's long awaited request.

"You sure you want the same brand of Shampoo as me? I can get it for you but you're allowed to
try other ones out sweetie."

"No, I'm fine... It felt really nice. My hair actually feels nice... And not all stringy."

Sunny's mother simply nodded. That was enough reason for her. She and Sunny looked at the
selection, and eventually settled on the citrus scent for him. And with that, their required shopping
was done, as she slowed down to check off her list.

"Alright, that's everything we came here for. So sweetie, was there anything you saw while we
were going around that you were interested in?" She asked. Sunny gave her a glazed over stare for
a second, as he tried to remember.

"... Pink Lemonade? I didn't see anything else that interested me, so we don't have to get any-"

"That was in the back with all the orange juices and whatnot, right?" She said, already walking
ahead of him as Sunny had no choice but to follow along. It wasn't like he didn't want it, it just
didn't feel necessary. But he couldn't deny he was happy as the went to the checkout line with the
carton sitting on top of the toilet paper.

They didn't live far from the grocery store, but since they were doing a rather robust shopping
trip, Sunny helped his mother load the bags up into the trunk of her car. Soon he's buckled into the
passenger seat as She checks the mirrors as she backs out of her parking spot. It takes only a couple
minutes, but soon they're home, pulling into their driveway as Sunny quickly unbuckles himself to
help carry in the groceries.

"I didn't realize how nice it would be to have another person around for little things like this."
Sunny's Mother would say as she unlocked the door, pushing it open with one shoulder as the piled
their goods into the kitchen.

"I mean, I am another mouth to feed, so you probably got more food cause of me."

"Yeah well you need more food sweetie, I can tell just from looking at you that he was not
feeding you right. Lots of leftovers from cheap takeout I'd bet." She said, shaking her head at the
thought. Sunny chuckled at how spot on she was, as he would go back to close the door.

"Anyways Hon, help me put all this away and then I can start with some breakfast."

"... Can I help with the breakfast too?" He'd ask as he opened the fridge to put the milk and eggs
inside.

"You wanna help cook sweetie? I could never turn down a request from you." She said, smiling
as she shoved a few snacks for the both of them into the pantry, while Sunny passed her some cans
of soup the cupboards.

"... You know if you're gonna help me cook, I may need to get you a stool to help reach the top
shelves of the cupboards."

"I'm not that short Mom..."

"Sweetie, Basil is taller than you. Sure it's not by much but my point still stands." She said,
before setting a can of soup on the top shelf.

"Try and grab that sweetie." She said with a smile, trying to prove her point. Sunny wouldn't
even try, instead pouting as the moved it down to the bottom shelf before Kissing him on the
forehead.

"Sorry if I was too mean, you're just too cute not to mess with, just a little... Wanna make
pancakes for breakfast? You can even help flip them if you'd like." She said, as Sunny kept on
pouting, but still nodded anyways.

The two of them would finish putting the groceries away, before his mother began preparing the
ingredients.

"Hon, There's a bowl in one of the lower cabinets next to the sink, could you grab it for me?"
She'd ask, as she scooped a sizable chunk of butter into a bowl and set it in the microwave. Sunny
soon came back up with the large clear glass bowl.

"Alright, so for the main part, we're going to have to mix all this together. First the flour." She
said as Sunny held the measuring cup steady for her. One cup, and then a half. Then she scoops out
a couple teaspoons of baking powder, one spoonful of sugar before adding a dash of salt on top.

She let sunny do the honors of mixing it all together before scooping out a well in the middle.
Next up came the milk, one egg cracked into the middle, and the melted butter from in the
microwave.

"Alright, now it's time to mix it together." She said before grabbing a whisk and making the
mixture. Sunny felt a little bummed that he couldn't do this part, but it was fine. He'd get to flip
them anyways.

It wasn't long now before they had the pan ready as the poured the first pancake into it, letting it
settle as they let the bottom side cook.

"Now I want you to watch how I do the flip Sunny. That way we don't toss one onto the floor or
onto your face." She said, as he watched her shake the pancake back and forth a couple times to
loosen it, before angling the pan slightly downwards. When she flipped it it flew upwards, but not
too high, nor too far back, before she let it land in the center.

"Henry actually taught me this, you wouldn't imagine how many times I ended up with batter on
my face while I was learning it... So, wanna try?" She said offering him the handle as he stood in
front of the stove. Angle it... Control the flip. He'd take one more breath before trying the trick
himself. Angle... And flip!

It landed straight onto the counter as Sunny's mom chuckled.

"Well at least it didn't land on your head sweetie." She said, sliding the spatula on it before
putting it onto a plate.

"Now let's try that again, and here, lemme guide you this time." She said, as she poured the next
one into the pan, before sliding behind Sunny and holding his hands in hers.

"Now, you wanna use a little less strength when you flip. Go too far and it might even end up on
the ceiling. Henry told me the couple times he tried cooking with Kelsey that he almost hit the
light bulb when he flipped it." The way she firmly held his arms while telling him this rather
amusing anecdote made him relax. It would be easy... Just angle... And flip... Angle... And...

It would land slightly off center in the pan, as Sunny couldn't help but smile ear to ear as he
pulled it off.

"Good Job sweetie... Wanna do the rest, or would you rather have me do it?" She said, as he
turned back tentatively.

"... Can we keep doing it together? This is nice..." His mother sighed, but smiled widely.

"Of course baby." She said, as the two of them worked together, stacking three pancakes each on
their plates as they finished them one by one. Once they were all done, his mother would put the
Pan in the sink while Sunny lathered his and his mothers plates in a mild drizzle of syrup.

Plated up and finished, the two sat down on the living room couch as his mother switched on the
TV. She switched on to the news as Sunny dug into his plate. He was proud to have helped with
any part of making this meal... If anything it tasted better knowing he had a part in making it.

The morning went on as usual, Sunny and his mother would finish their plates before setting
them in the sink for later. Today the plan was primarily to check and sort through the Storage
Room downstairs. The single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling of the spacious wooden room
would be their only source of light as they sorted through boxes.

For the most part, the boxes were filled with old useless electronics, him and Mari's baby
clothes, and... The pictures of his father. Yeah this seemed like the place to put them. In a box they
wouldn't have to think about. It was a photo of him on the swing, Mari pushing him while his
father 'helped'. Had he ever seen his father truly look this happy? This loving? He turned the
picture over so he didn't have to keep looking at his father's eyes. It felt like they were glaring back
at him still. This actually turned out to be a very bad decision.

Sunny was paralyzed in fear as he noticed the spider now crawling on the back of his hand, as he
held the picture in his grip. His breathing grew erratic. His thoughts grew more intense as he tried
to suppress the movements of his hand... He didn't want to see the spider crawl any fur-

Sunny let out a cry as he dropped the picture, throwing his hand and backing against the wall as
he continued shivering. His vision went dim as he thought he felt the spider still on his hand. It was
just a stupid spider, a small part of his brain insisted. You're better than this, it continues repeating.
And the other part of his brain laughed. No he wasn't. Of course he'd still be like this. Not a single
encounter with one for years and yet he still couldn't handle the sight of-

"Sweetie... Let's get out of here. I can do it on my own." His mother said, as he finally heard
what she was saying beneath the layer of static that had overwhelmed his senses seconds ago. She
quickly hurried him out of the room and closed the door behind them. Sunny wasn't breathing
steadily. He was still having a hard time even processing information... It was just a spider... Just a
stupid little...

"Alright Honey, c'mere." She said, as she pulled him over to the couch, sitting them both down
on it. She simply held his hand while he tried his best to quell his own rapidly beating heart,
Letting him squeeze it as he finally felt the pounding in his chest calm down.

"... There we go Hon... There we go... You did it..." She said, rubbing his shoulder while he
finally felt relief. However, that relief was short lived. Instead of feeling glad for being able to
quell that fear... He instead felt pathetic... This old and he couldn't handle the sight of one of them...

"Sorry sweetie... I didn't expect to see a spider in there... And it's been so long that it slipped my
mind... There, you're here and it's safe. Okay?" She said, still holding his hand as she spoke. Sunny
almost laughed at how pathetic it was that she had to console him over this.

"I sh-shouldn't be that scared... They're just stupid little spiders..." He said, laying his head back
against the couch as he groaned at his own stupid little phobia.

"Shh, yes they're stupid little spiders, but that doesn't mean you were prepared to see one..." She
said, before Kissing his forehead.

"Still, you were able to calm yourself down afterwords honey. That's good. And don't worry, I'll
deal with the storage room later..." She said. Her words didn't assuage how Sunny felt though. If
anything... He just felt more useless.

Sunny still did his best to keep his mother from being worried though. After a couple minutes,
he'd finally let go of her hands to go take a shower. He just needed a moment to think, a moment
alone. He loved what his mother was doing for him but... He didn't want her to worry so much. She
was already doing everything... He was sure he could handle this on his own.

After the shower, He stood staring in the bathroom mirror. He looked down at his now bare
arm. Signs of failures. He grabbed the towel and finished drying his hair off as he tried to focus on
anything else. He'd make his way to his room and throw himself on the bed. Maybe some music
might help.

When Sunny couldn't be bothered to decide what to listen to, he often would simply close his
eyes and pull out the first CD his hand reached. Today that was John Vanderslice. In all honestly
he only bought this album because the name was... Unique. He wondered if it was a stage name or
if that was the artists real name. "Time Travel is Lonely." He could use some time alone right now,
so this felt right.

He popped it into his CD player as he laid back on the bed. This first track... He didn't know
how to feel about it. He wasn't as good with these kinds of almost shouty vocals. And then the
second track came on. Sunny felt something click this time. Maybe it was the more prominent
keyboards, or the Horn section, but this... He wouldn't have listened to it without the name guiding
his choice, but this worked.

Thinking about music really was the best choice for him right now, as by the time he'd finished
listening to the album, he didn't feel those thoughts creeping up on him as intensely. He'd put his
CD player back on his nightstand as he dragged himself back out of bed. It was still early and there
wasn't much to do, but he wanted... No, needed to do something with his day today...

He looked at the empty desk to the side of his room. Completely bare. Maybe he could do
something with this... In Mari's box there was some old school supplies, alongside some pencils
and several empty notebooks. He sifted through the box and pulled out one notebook and a pencil,
before sitting down at his desk.

He stared at the page. He didn't even know what he intended to do. Was he gonna write? Draw?
Journal? He hadn't actually made a decision. Maybe drawing? He could doodle something and see
how it feels... By the time he had decided, his hands were already in motion. The only immediate
subject he had near this empty wall was his hands, so he chose to draw them. He used his right
hand to model for himself while he drew with his left.

40 minutes later, Sunny had filled the page with disembodied hands, all in various poses and
perspectives. Most of them weren't exactly high art, but he did a good job with a few of them.
Better than expected even. Although his own expectations were lower than the sea floor.

Sunny shut the notebook and pushed put the pencil on top of it. The clock on his nightstand read
11:20. Maybe his friends would be up to hang out with him today... It was still the weekend after
all...

"... Hey Mom, how would I contact Kel?" He asked as he walked downstairs.

"Oh? You could call him or his parents, here lemme grab their numbers. If he's at home right
now it would probably be best to call his mother first." She said, as she pulled out her planning
notebook. In the back was an extensive list of phone numbers.

"This one right here... But... Would you like me to contact them? You haven't really used a
phone so I think you'll need some time to learn how to properly speak on one." She said. She was
probably right, Sunny thought to himself. He was prone to long pauses and definitely wasn't good
at speaking up, and both of those seemed like self sabotage when using a phone.

"That would be better..."

"Sure Hon, I'll call her in a moment, you can just sit down for now." She said, before she flipped
through her notebook one last time. Sunny sat on the couch as he absentmindedly fiddled with his
shirt. It was funny, he always had this much time to do things when he lived with his father, but the
days bled into eachother so often that it felt like hours could go by in the span of seconds. Now he
struggled to even fill that same amount of time.

Living life was going to be harder than he thought.

Sunny was stunned as he held Sally in his hands while Kel looked on proudly. He... He wasn't
sure how to react. Kel was really an older brother now. Sally stared at him confused, before
giggling. What? That... That wasn't the reaction he expected. He was probably a little more
intimidating than most, what with his dark hair mostly covering his deep set eyes. But apparently
Sally thought he was friendly enough to reach out and tug on his hair. Ow... she was strong. Maybe
having his hair this long was more of a disadvantage than he first thought.

"Alright Sally, no tugging on hair!" Kelsey said, taking her out of Sunny's hands and holding her
as she tried in vain to reach for his hair as well.

"You're cute but that doesn't mean you'll be able to get away with that forever. You gotta respect
people's boundaries young lady!" He said, even though she really couldn't understand what he was
saying. Kel knew that, and he wasn't quite taking it seriously, having fun pretending to be an older
brother for once.

"Anyways it's back in the crib with you! Sorry for waking you up, but don't worry, you'll get to
see sunny again soon! Oh yes you will!" He said, before handing Sally back to his mother.

"Don't worry, she's always excited to meet new People... And it's wonderful seeing you back
Sunny." Kel's mother said, as she held Sally in her arms and coddled her.

"... It's good to be back Ma'am." He said, in a manner he felt was a little too stiff. He had never
really talked to Kel and Hero's parents much. That was always Mari's Job. So it felt strange being
treated like an old friend from people he only shared a rather faint connection with. But it was nice
that they cared, or at the very least, they put on a convincing act.

"Now you two run back along to your Friends." She said, simply waving them off as they trotted
downstairs.

"She's Cute... And you're making a better big brother than I expected."

"Thanks Sunny. And were you really expecting something that bad?"

"... Not really, you're just so much more natural than I expected."

"It's from lots of practice, when Mom and Dad told me they were having another kid... You
should have seen how nervous I was." He said as they were already making their way to the couch
where the other two were waiting.

"Talking about Sally?" Aubrey asked. Kel nodded as They slid into the couch. Kel on the other
side of Aubrey, and Basil sliding to let Sunny sit between him and her.

"I know it's old news but you really didn't have to worry that much about it Kel. You're not so
oblivious that you'd get her hurt."

"Yeah but still, I just get worried cause Mom and Dad always told me off for being irresponsible
compared to Hero, so like... If I'm what she has to look up to, I need to give her my best."

"That's a really mature way of thinking Kel..." Basil said, as Aubrey nodded along.

"Yeah, I know I call you a Dork, but that's genuinely a really sweet thought. But make sure to
give yourself a break alright? You're plenty mature as is... You definitely aren't as annoying as you
were when we were kids, that's for sure."

"Thanks Aubrey." He said, taking the teasing with a genuine smile as he rubbed the back of his
neck.
 "I'll try but that'll take practice too. Everything does." He said, with a slightly somber tone to his
voice. He was looking at the family photo. At Hero.

"... Hey Kel?"

"Yeah Sunny?"

"Is Hero still taller than you?"

"Oof, cutting right to the heart of matters I see. Well I've gotten my growth spurt but somehow
he's still got an inch or two on me." Kel said with a defeated sigh.

"At least you're second place Kel. Better than being the shortest." Basil said, before realizing
something.

"O-oh wait, I'm not the shortest anymore, am I?"

"Yeah, I think Sunny is just an inch or two shorter... Hey, Sunny, stand up for us." Aubrey said
bluntly. Well... It was Aubrey asking as polite as she could, so Sunny would begrudgingly stand
up. Suddenly, Aubrey dragged Basil off the couch and stood the two boys back to back.

"Mmhmm, yep, Sunny is the shortest of us All. Guess you're still the baby of the group no
matter what." She said with a smirk.

"... Well don't rub it in then." Sunny said with a sullen look. He wasn't that upset, but he didn't
like being called a baby. He knew what they meant, but... It was still upsetting.

"We aren't rubbing it in Sunny, It's just teasing. You know we love you after all." She said.
Sunny's heart skipped a beat at those words. It was still hard to believe them after all.

He had thought his father loved him, but he had seen the truth. He had thought Mari- No... He
wasn't going to put words in her mouth right now. Right now he chose to believe his friends, no
matter if it came back to hurt him later.

"Yeah, I love you guys too." It felt easier to say this time than it had yesterday. Maybe that
meant something. Or maybe the atmosphere just made it easier. Either way... He meant it.

Chapter End Notes

Music Notes:

The Title of This Chapter is taken from Talk Talk's 1986 Album "The Colour of
Spring"

As you can tell from the title of that Album, Talk Talk is a British band. One of the
many synthpop bands that formed in the early 80's, they enjoyed an extended period of
success from their first EP to their second album, before slowly transitioning away
from pure synthpop to far more experimental albums in the latter half of their career.
The Colour of Spring acts as the bridge between these two halves, still retaining their
more conventional songwriting and structure, but employing a much wider variety of
instruments to great effect. Their last two albums mark a total shift away from their
earlier stylings towards what would become now known as Post-Rock. In essence that
makes TCOS the most unique album in their catalogue, being able to see the band
experimenting in the space between these two genres to great effect, both
commercially and critically. The Lyrics of the track itself call for taking life into your
own hands. To focus on what's happening now instead of being stuck in the past,
something Sunny has been unable to accomplish the past four years. Talk Talk is great
and I highly recommend their whole discography, especially their sole (Official) live
album, London 1986. It features a variety of tracks from their second and third albums,
and really shows their strengths at a live performance, something their last two albums
would sadly never receive as whilst critically lauded both now and at the time, they
were commercially unsuccessful compared to prior releases, and thus any potential
tours were quickly snuffed. After the dissolution of Talk Talk following their 5th
album, Lead Singer and Songwriter Mark Hollis only released a single solo album
before effectively retiring from the music industry all together.

John Vanderslice, "Time Travel is Lonely"

A Barsuk Alumni, JV is one of my favorite singer-songwriters out there. It's hard for
me to explain his appeal, but I'll try my best. Alot of it comes from instrumentation
and production, and especially from the specific style he goes for, Embracing the
imperfections of analogue so much that even instruments peaking can be used
effectively in a song if it assists the sound. He's also just really funny in person, the
couple concerts I've been to have been such fun experiences. Time Travel is Lonely
isn't my favorite of his, but considering the general range of years I'm trying to set this
Fic within, this was the one I felt would work the best. That and I didn't feel like
Sunny could Relax listening to a song like "Bill Gates Must Die."

Anyways, minor mixed feelings on this chapter, both for how short it is, and my
portrayal of Sunny's arachnophobia. I felt like I could have explored how it affects him
in more depth, but I could say that about alot of aspects of this fic, So I'll just be happy
that it's all coming together so far. Thanks for Reading and as always, if you have
anything you want to say or ask, I read every comment and love the encouragement,
feedback, and criticism you've all given.

- Magus
 We Could Send Letters
Chapter Notes

This Chapter was originally barely over 2000 words, even shorter than the first chapter
which basically just acted as an opener/prologue. But I added the scene with Sunny
and his mother to help bridge the gap between the two halves more effectively. Hope
you a enjoy.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Did he look good enough? Was his hair good enough? Had he gotten enough sleep? These
questions weren't usually the first thing on Sunny's mind. In fact most of his days he really didn't
care how he looked, aside from when his friends saw him, and even then... He just wanted to
obscure the mess he was most of the time. But he stood on Basil's doorstep. Alone. Waiting for
someone to come and answer the door.

Was school not out yet? Was Basil still at school? Perhaps he had a club and didn't think to
mention it to Sunny. Sunny was a little early after all. He didn't have much else to do anyways.
With Kel practicing after school and Aubrey spending time with the Hooligans today, Basil ended
up being a saving grace from having to spend another day struggling to fill time and not waste
away in his room.

He held the messenger bag at his side. His mother bought it for him yesterday. It was nice. Cool
Grey, with a comfortable strap that didn't dig into his shoulder. He didn't really have much in it. He
had his CD player, a couple albums, his notebook, and that was all. He didn't need much else.

His eyes immediately shifted as he heard the door Creak open. Basil's head popped out, as he
apologetically looked away, his hair slightly wet as he spoke.

"Sorry, I was taking a shower, so I didn't hear you..." He said, before Sunny shook his head.

"N-no it's fine, I came early so I expected to have to wait a little." He said, squeezing the strap a
little tighter. God he shouldn't be this nervous. They can just hang out today, it'll be fine, he doesn't
have to think ab-

"O-oh, well, still, you should come on inside, it's cold out there!" He said, finally moving aside
and opening the door fully to let Sunny into his home. Once he'd entered, Basil shut the door
behind him and locked it.

"P-polly would have let you in, but she had to grab some medication for my grandmother." He
said, as they mulled about in Basil's house. Sunny hadn't really paid much attention to it the last
time he was here. There was a few too many intense emotions spiraling out of control in his head
for him to enjoy the ambiance of Basil's home.

Now, he could appreciate how warm it felt. Not in the temperature, but it did seem Basil kept the
heater on, most likely to keep his grandmother warm as it got colder and colder. No, it was the way
light filtered through the curtains, the way the lamp in the corner of the living room cast a warm
glow upon the entrance. The colors and even the furniture. It was a home away from home and...
He was happy to be back.
 "It's fine." Sunny finally said, as he looked back at Basil. He felt bad for interrupting him during
his shower. He'd barely finished drying his hair, his blonde curls still just the slightest bit wet, and
the way they framed his face was so cu- He turned away before he could let his cheeks get red.

"So um, we can hang out here or you could come to my room if you'd like?"

Sunny slowly nodded. He didn't notice how Basil's eyes darted to look at anything else but
Sunny, as the two boys quietly slinked away into Basil's room.

Sunny slid his bag off his shoulder as he entered. The room had changed slightly. There were
more plants, alongside a larger bed. He had a new desk and it seemed some left over papers from
school, and his tiny bookshelf had been replaced with one far wider, to fit far more than before.

The two boys nervously sat on the side of Basil's bed as they spent the next few minutes of false
starts trying to start a proper conversation. As it turns out, there was alot they both wanted to say,
but neither was sure how to say it. Sunny finally broke the ice in the end.

"Thanks f-for inviting me..."

"It's no problem! I'm just glad you wanted to visit... It's almost like old times, where I'd hang out
at your house and just cuddle while we read stories." Basil said, giggling to himself while Sunny
felt a pressure. He needed to say something... But he could tell this sweet mood would not last once
it was out in the open. He grit his teeth, forcing the words out before he could think twice.

"Um... I've only heard second hand but... How have you been? Since I left..."

"... You want me to be honest?" He said, as Sunny nodded. Basil bit his lip as he began to bunch
up the sheets in his balled fists.

"... I wasn't doing well for quite awhile Sunny. I just... I know Aubrey was probably more
devastated about Mari than I was... But losing you and... And right after seeing... It was so much
Sunny." Sunny regretted this line of questioning, but... It was what he wanted to hear. He wanted to
hear the honest account of Basil's feelings.

"I couldn't really see the bright side of anything after that... It was hard to even find the
motivation to take care of my plants, much less myself... And then when my grandmother started
getting worse... It felt like my life was slipping out of control... I-I never disliked her, but it was
hard to accept Polly into my life at first... Everything was changing and... It scared me so much..."
Sunny couldn't look away no matter how much he wanted. He had to accept every second of
Basil's story, no matter how uncomfortable it might be to hear.

"And then one day, Aubrey came back over. It was... It was really awkward. We hadn't talked
in... Awhile. Me and Kel talked at school sometimes, and he kept me from getting harassed when
he was around, but outside of that... He spent most of his time at home dealing with Hero... It was
nice to have a friend visit me, but I also just assumed she was there to say goodbye to her old
friends and move on... And to tell you the truth, I was fine with that. Having the closure would... I
would have been able to accept it. Eventually." Basil said, before adopting a smile yet again. There
was a pinch of sadness in his expression before, but as he spoke it slowly melted away.

"But then Aubrey kept visiting. She'd come by every few days and we'd just spend the day
talking. After the third time I started realizing that she wasn't going to stop. It... It was so nice
being able to talk... We'd listen to music together. Sometimes we'd look at the photo album.
Sometimes we'd even talk about Mari. A-alot of the times we talked about you though." Sunny
noticed Basil's mouth twitch oddly. He wondered what they said about him.
 "She brought me back out of my shell again, just like before. She introduced me to the
Hooligans... They're really sweet, though most of them don't show it. I... I visited her grave too,
because Aubrey helped quell my fears. And because I had... A friend again, someone to share my
thoughts and feelings with... things started feeling okay for once... I even started accepting Polly
into my life once Aubrey dragged me out of that state of mind." Basil's smile grew more confident,
still retaining a nervous glimmer, but much more assured with every word.

"And... I ended up being able to pay back Aubrey for all that later. By Trying to push her to talk
with Kel again. To reconcile. It was hard but I wanted us to be the group again... It didn't quite
work as well as I'd hoped... But, now I know why." He said, as his hand slid over Sunny's, grasping
it firmly. Sunny felt his ears go red.

"We aren't the same group anymore. We're all different, and that change was inevitable after
what happened. What Mari did... It was terrible. Both to herself... And to us. But we all pushed
ourselves forward. Out of the mud. Because there was always that hope you'd come back. It was
hard, but... We all missed you too much to ever give up." He said, as Sunny watched Basil's
slightly teary eyes glisten like jewels.

"J-jeez, look at you, now you've made me cry twice, you better make up for that!" He said,
before he hugged Sunny and laughed. Basil felt warm. Sunny suppressed the urge to play with his
soft blonde hair and instead hugged him back.

"Thank you... for waiting for m-me..." Sunny said. It would have sounded almost cool, if it
weren't for the slight stutter right at the end. But Basil laughed eagerly hearing Sunny, squeezing
him tighter.

"I would have waited decades if that's what it took. We all would have." He said, as he could
feel Sunny's heartbeat from his chest.

"R-really?"

"Absolutely Sunny. Kel kept in contact with your Mom constantly... And well... Like I said...
Me and Aubrey spent alot of time talking about you." He said, a light flush as he spoke that last
sentence. Sunny was even more curious now.

"... What did you talk about?"

"None of your business, that's strictly confidential."

"... Of course I'm gonna be curious when you phrase it like That. C'mon... please?"

"Nope. My lips are sealed, try Aubrey if you're so curious, but I don't think you're gonna get
anything out of her either." Basil said with an uncharacteristically smug grin on his face. Sunny
pouted as he crossed his arms.

"C'mon Sunny, don't be like that... Hey, I know you like listening to Music, so I dug some
albums out from under my bed..." He said, grabbing a couple CD's from his desk.

"... Would you like to listen to them together?" Sunny stopped pouting, as he pulled out his CD
player. He had been hoping to ask that question to Basil this whole time...

"O-oh you brought some too!" He said excitedly, as he looked at Sunny's collection. The two of
them held no overlap in musical taste... But to Sunny, that was exciting. He wanted to hear the
music that spoke to Basil. The songs that kept him Company when he needed them.
 Basil had three CD's in his hand, as he let Sunny flip through them. The first one held a dark
blue cover with two pictures on either side. One was a man lighting a cigarette, and the other was a
woman with... With the barrel of a gun in her mouth. "Welcome To The Beautiful South." The
second CD was seemingly the same band. A painting of a sad boy with a broken guitar. "Blue is
The Color." The last Album was abstract. Half of it was a black and white photo of... Something.
Sunny couldn't tell. But it felt like it was familiar enough that maybe he could figure it out
someday. Cocteau Twins "Blue Bell Knoll."

Basil looked through Sunny's with just as much curiosity, as Sunny opened the Cocteau Twins
album and set it in his CD player. He passed Basil the left ear bud, finally drawing the blonde's
attention as he moved their albums off of the bed and eagerly plugged in his half of the
headphones. The two of them laid side by side as Sunny hit play.

Sunny felt himself slowly sinking into the mattress as what he assumed to be a keyboard opened
off the album. As soon as the vocals kicked in, Sunny felt himself relax slightly. He couldn't tell if
they were saying anything, but that didn't matter. The vibe mattered more, as he turned and looked
at Basil. He stared at his soft skin, almost tempted to reach out and touch it. His hair had finally
dried by now, and those blonde locks just made him look even more adorable.

Basil's eyes were closed as he listened. Sunny felt like he was taking advantage of the situation
just staring at him like this... Soaking up every inch of his appearance while they sat inches away
from eachother. When did Basil become so beautiful...

Sunny turned his head and shut his eyes as he tried to imitate Basil. Focus on the music. Focus.
But it was no use. He couldn't stop thinking about him now that he'd truly paid attention to how
pretty he looked.

As the album went on, Sunny tried to enjoy it, but every few minutes he'd think about Basil's
hair, wanting to run his fingers through it and hold his head against his chest, or his glistening blue
eyes... This felt wrong, but... He couldn't think of anything else.

Soon he stopped breathing for a moment as he felt Basil's arm pressed against him, the blonde
sliding just a little closer as his heart began to race. He opened his eyes to see Basil looking over at
him, before turning away with a blush.

The two of them laid back, avoiding eachothers gazes as unbeknownst to either of them, their
racing hearts were both beating as one.

"So how did your visit with Basil go Hon?"

Sunny looked to his mother and paused. It... It had gone good, but his brain was still making the
sounds of a Dial-up modem whenever he thought about having been in such close proximity to
basil for so long.

"I-it was nice..." He finally stammered out, hoping to end the conversation as quickly as it came,
while his mother finished steeping her tea before coming back into the living room.

"Well I'd hope it was. Being able to spend time with your friends is something to cherish
sweetie. Once you get to be my age it's hard to find the time anymore..." She said, sighing as she
sipped on her tea. Sunny knew the both of them preferred coffee by this point, and from the smell
he guessed-

"Is that herbal tea?" He asked as his mother nodded.

 "Yeah, I bought some from the store awhile ago. It's ginger tea. Supposed to help with
headaches, amongst other things." She said, smiling before she offered the mug to Sunny, who
politely declined.

"... Have you been um, having trouble with those for awhile?" He cast his eyes away as he
spoke.

"Sort of? They come and go with the seasons now. I used to think my new job was causing them
but I guess it's just nature."

"... Stuff like that just, happens when you get older?"

"I'm not that old, but yes. It depends on the person too, but aches and pains, seasonal allergies,
colds, all sorts of things change and become more or less common when you get older." She said,
as she set the mug down on the coffee table.

"Not to mention working a technical job like this, spending all day on the computer definitely
doesn't help my back."

"I'd imagine not." Sunny said as he yawned.

"Getting sleepy Hon? Did spending all that time with Basil tucker you out?"

"... I guess? We didn't really do much at all, we just laid on his bed and listened to music."

"Even being around friends can be tiring Hon. No one is built the same, we all have our own
quirks and conditions. It's no different when it comes to social situations. You know well enough
how... Mari dealt with those alot easier than you did when you were young." She paused before
finally saying her name. Sunny didn't flinch this time. There was still the sadness, the bitter taste
left in his mouth when he thought about her, but the room still felt normal, it didn't permeate like a
thick fog over them.

"Yeah, I... I thought it was amazing how she could do it and make it look so easy."

Sunny's mother nodded as she took another sip from her mug. The conversation died out, but this
silence didn't feel suffocating. It felt almost serene. The shifting colors of The autumn sunset just
barely visible through the blinds, the subtle sounds of their own breathing, everything fit in place.

"If you wanna have a cup of tea before you go to bed I can heat the kettle back up for you."

"... Maybe later, I'll just brush my teeth and go to bed for now..." He said before sliding off of
the couch.

"Alright sweetie. Have a good night. Love you!"

"... I love you too mom." He said, smiling as he climbed the stairs for the night.

Sunny couldn't quite sleep that night. Once he was alone, He ran his day with Basil back and
forth in his mind dozens of times. He wondered if he'd made a good impression, or if he'd scared
Basil with how much he ended up zoning out while staring at him... It... It wasn't his fault. It just
felt like every time he paid attention to Basil's looks, he just stopped being able to function.

But that wasn't all that was keeping him up. Something else Basil said, only now began to upset
Sunny. That... That comment about Mari... He felt sick hearing that. Even from his friend... He
 couldn't understand how basil would think that. Mari was... Mari was a victim.

She... Sunny couldn't blame her for any of it. For the pressure she put on him. For her insistence
on perfection. The harsh words and the constant criticisms of how he played. He knew it was hard
on her... That's why he wanted to be there for her... He wanted to relieve the pressure, to take as
much away as he could... He just wasn't good enough. He couldn't live up to her... To anyone's
expectations. And when he finally cracked... That just hurt Mari more. He left her behind. Left her
to bear the burden while he got to escape. He felt sick to his stomach.

Sunny turned over and tightened his grip on the blankets as he pulled them closer. The pale
moonlight became slowly enveloped by the clouds outside his window, going from a comfortable
darkness to a pitch black. For a second, Sunny's heartrate shot up, before he shoved his head under
the blanket. To try and escape it. To escape himself and his waking thoughts. He tried to sleep.

And so that night, Sunny began playing back that Cold Autumn Night in his head. It still hurts to
think about but he's numbed himself to most of it by now. He goes through the motions. The
motions of waking up. Scared. Alone. He realized he was alone and that Mari wasn't in her bed...
He ended up walking down the stairs. Basil had been sleeping over that night... But he didn't want
to disturb him over a silly little dream, he'd rather get help from his sister right now. Mari wasn't
anywhere though. Nowhere to be found. Once he'd made his way to the loving room, Sunny
noticed the door to the backyard was slightly ajar. Oh. Oh that made sense. Mari must be getting
some fresh air. She's been so stressed lately... She really needs the alone time... But he should at
least check on her. It's what a good little brother should do after all. Sunny looked out the sliding
glass door.

And then the film runs out.

Chapter End Notes

Music Notes:

The Title of This Chapter is taken from Aztec Camera's debut 1983 Album "High
Land, Hard Rain"

If you've ever been to a thrift store you've probably heard one or two Aztec Camera
songs. At the very least every thrift store in my state has played "Walk Out To Winter"
multiple times a year. But in essence whilst they are a band, they were basically just a
vehicle for the lead songwriter, Roddy Frame (Gotta wonder if he chose the camera
part or the name intentionally cause of his last name.) Earlier albums are very much in
the vein of 80's jangle rock, before evolving with more matured songwriting, and
instrumentation often leading to a more pop/alt-rock sound in their later career. My
choice of this song was originally just as a title for a potential Chapter where sunny
calls or texts his friends or something, but as I was listening to it while brainstorming,
a verse stuck out to me.

"We're making tracks, they show our touch and go

And now it's touch and come and you should know
But then four years won't mean that much to me
When I've been smothered in the sympathy you bleed"

And after hearing that I just completely rewrote the entire premise of this Chapter to
focus around Basil and his emotions. The line "Smothered in the sympathy you bleed"
is just so perfectly fitting for him. How I wrote it still feels a little too tell don't show
for me, but at the same time Show don't tell isn't a hard and fast rule no matter how
many writing teachers tell you it is. Anyways my recommended Aztec Camera albums
would be Their Debut, "Knife" and their final album "Frestonia."

The Beautiful South, 1989's "Welcome to The Beautiful South", and 1996's "Blue is
The Colour"

I will champion the beautiful south until I am in an early grave. In the states they're
effectively complete unknowns. They've made US tours before, they've even opened
for big acts like R.E.M., but their massive success really only came from their
European sales. But you can see why, whilst mostly avoiding specific British cultural
references their style of cynicism is distinctly British, filled with stories akin to
Kitchen Sink Dramas, and with a certain subtle venom to many subjects that most
people might not notice at first glance. Songs like "Artificial Flowers" speak on the
exploitation of Labor, especially from the Poor, who often make items for the
exceedingly rich and wealthy and are paid next to nothing for their effort. Not all
songs are as socio-politically charged as that, efforts like "Woman in The Wall" tell a
Telltale Heart like story about and Abusive and Alcoholic Husband's mistreatment of
his wife leading to her death, and his slowly decaying mental state as he tries to ignore
the stench of her corpse coming from his wall. All of this delivered with wonderfully
beautiful and catchy instrumentation, and the charm of the three lead singers, really
bring out what makes them special. I recommend starting at their debut if you intend to
get into this band.

Cocteau Twins, 1988's "Blue Bell Knoll"

If you've listened to any modern dreampop band, chances are they found influence
either directly or indirectly from Cocteau Twins. Originally starting as a more goth
rock band, by their third album they had fully embraced an ethereal and otherworldly
sound, characterized by singer Elizabeth Fraser's often completely nonsensical lyrics,
chosen for their sound over their meaning. Some people like to simplify genres like
this and shoegaze as "Light Through a Stained Glass Window", but in that way it
simply calls for the listener to draw their own emotions from the songs themselves,
rather than simply interpreting what the band wanted, your own biases and personal
experiences help create the meaning and emotions the song brings out in you.

As always, thank you so much for reading.

- Magus
 The Uppers Aren't Necessary
Chapter Notes

And finally we get to Hero. Obviously it'll take a bit to get his part of the groups
dynamic down, but I hope you enjoy this brief glimpse of him.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Was Sunny nervous? He didn't feel too nervous. He did have a slightly elevated heart rate, that's
for sure but he didn't know whether that was because of his anxiety about seeing Hero again, or
because he was sitting next to Basil and still remembered what had happened yesterday, how he
had felt being so close to him. It seemed Basil did too, as whilst he was talking with Aubrey his
eyes kept darting back over to Sunny, before darting back just as quick as they arrived.

The meet up was planned at Gino's by Kel, right after the three of them got out of school. He
said his parents would practically trap him and Hero at home for the rest of the day for some 'Good
old fashioned family bonding', in his own words, so the only chance they'd have to hang out more
casually today would be right here and now.

"And you're sure they'll be fine with this? I don't want you getting chewed out for no reason, we
can always hang out with Hero tomorrow." She said, drinking a glass of water while Basil fiddled
with his backpack. He pulled out a composition notebook for one or his classes and passed it to
Aubrey, who started flipping through it.

"Aubrey, this is for Hero just as much as it is for us. My parents will understand once I explain it
to them, so cool your jets, I got this." He said, as they snacked on the breadsticks sitting in the
middle of the table. They'd declined ordering any real food yet, as they still had their guest of honor
coming in any minute now.

"Okay, but you're probably gonna need hero to do the explaining, good boy charms and all
that..." She said, before looking back down to Basil's notebook and cross referencing her own on
her lap.

"Man, why couldn't I be blessed with those skills?" Kel said, theatrically slumping in his seat as
he sighed. Aubrey would chuckle, finally passing back Basil's notebook before the bell above the
door of Gino's jingled. Everyone except Sunny looked back. He could tell from the faces they were
making that it was him... Keep it cool Sunny. You can do it. Deep breaths. He... He's still your
friend.

Sunny turned around as Kel was already standing up, soon watching the two brothers hug
eachother as he stared at Hero. Hero was like a real adult now. Just as tall and imposing as- No he
wasn't. He wasn't imposing. He was just as warm as he hoped. His expression wasn't as vibrant as
his memories... But when were any of his friends? Even he was a muted echo compared to his
childhood. That's just what happens.

"Welcome back dude, we've missed you!" Kel said, barely lifting Hero a few inches off the
ground before having to end the hug so he didn't accidentally fall over.

"It's good to be back Kel." Hero said, Yawning, before he looked at the table. Sunny didn't
notice it, but for a brief glance when he spotted him, his expression shifted. One of fear and
uncertainty, before he blinked. He walked up to Sunny, who quickly scooted out of his chair and
stood up to look at him.

God why did Hero have to be so tall? Sunny had to crane his neck a little too much to really look
at Hero. It wasn't ludicrous, but it made the difference in stature between them all the more
apparent. Hero had grown while Sunny had mostly stagnated.

"H-hi Hero... Welcome back." Sunny stuttered out as he kicked himself for not thinking of
anything better to say. He's... There's so much he needs to say... But none of that is appropriate for
their first time seeing eachother in four years.

"I'm the one who should be saying that... Welcome back Sunny." He said, before patting his
head. Why did everyone taller than him play with his hair like this?... Well he didn't hate it, but it
felt a little embarrassing. Soon enough though, He set down his bag and gave Sunny a hug as his
face went red. At least Gino's was mostly empty today...

"... I'm glad to be here..." Sunny quietly said as he reciprocated the hug. It was nice... Warm...
Even if he had been afraid of Hero at first... His embrace radiated a safety that let him relax just a
bit.

"So... I guess everyone's finally here..." He said, as a quiver could be heard just barely in his
voice at the end.

"Yeah, it's about time." Aubrey said, as Hero finally let Sunny go, who immediately slinked
back into his seat. He liked hugging but... He felt strange about being hugged in such a public
place. Hero slid comfortably in his seat next to Kel, bringing his bag with him as the cashier came
up from behind the counter to help with their order.

"Oh, could I get one San-"

"Don't worry Hero, we already got one for you back home." Kel said, as the cashier gave a sigh
of relief.

"You're too thoughtful Kel. Alright then, what are we gonna get for Pizza?" He said, as the
group began to discuss toppings. Sunny remained quiet for the most part, only offering his opinion
for toppings he refused to eat. In the end, the group got two pizzas, one a pesto pizza with half
Mushrooms and Pepperoni, another half artichoke hearts and Mushrooms, the other pizza with
Pepperoni, Salami, Mushrooms... And half of that with Cashews.

"What the hell was that?" Aubrey asked as they finished their order, the cashier going to the
kitchen in back.

"What?"

"I mean the Cashews Kel! What the heck is that for? It's a pizza!"

"It's really good! It's way better than you think!" He explained with an excited tone.

"Aubrey that's by far the least weird thing I've seen people do with Pizza. You should see some
of my dormmates. One of them practically soaks it in ranch."

"Ranch?" Aubrey's face scrunched up almost instantly.

"Apparently it's a west coast thing."

 "Of course it is."

"Anyways the cashews are actually Really good Aubrey! Just... Try a bite or something, trust me
you'll understand."

"Fiiiiiine." She said, as Basil laughed at her argument.

"Something funny blondie?"

"Oh you know." Basil kept chuckling as Aubrey made a scowl at him. She immediately softened
afterwords, and was soon laughing as well.

Sunny kept silent as he looked at Hero across the table. He looked tired. It was hard to notice
but... It seemed like his eyes were just slightly red. The way he talked... It was different too. His
voice was deeper but... It also sounded even softer than before. In a way that wasn't gentle, but
almost exhausted. When Hero's eyes met Sunny's for a brief moment, he turned them slightly
away.

"H-how have you been Hero? I hear you're in c-c-college now." Sunny tried his best to give
some small talk, as he focused his eyes on Hero.

"Yep, I'm studying to become a doctor. It's hard but it's rewarding." The short haired bo- No, the
short haired young man nodded slightly to himself at the end of his sentence.

"... Why a D-doctor?"

Sunny noticed Hero's expression break for just a moment. It was almost like he was exhausted...
Something bitter in his eyes. Like he wished he could talk about anything else. Like he wished that
Sunny wouldn't have to ask that question.

"... It's nothing special. I just wanted to help people. This seemed like my ideal choice in the
end." He said. His voice was flat, his eyes naturally avoided Sunny's own...

"Th-that's nice." Sunny said, quickly trying to end the conversation. God damn it. Me and my
big mouth, Sunny knew he shouldn't have asked... A minute passed as Hero drank from his glass,
before finally clearing his throat.

"Mmhmm... But enough of me for now. Sunny, Kel told me something yesterday." Hero looked
at Sunny with a smirk for a moment.

"T-told you what?" Sunny said, his voice quivering slightly.

"Said you wanted to learn how to cook." Hero said. Sunny nodded slowly. Hero's bitterness
quickly melted back away. For once his smile didn't seem forced. A genuine look of excitement
was peaking out in spite of the bags under his eyes

"Well how about we start tomorrow? I'll come over around lunch- Oh wait, school, shit I
forgot."

"... I'm not in school at the moment. T-too late to transfer districts." Sunny said. Hero's smile
grew even brighter. For a second, he even Met Sunny's eyes more steadily, before he continued.

"That's perfect, alright. I'll come over tomorrow and we can start with the basics. That sound
good to you Sunny?"
 "Yes... I'd like that alot." Sunny said, as the Pizzas finally arrived, pushing the conversation
away from him as Aubrey finally tried one of Kel's slices.

"... What the fuck why does this work?" She said, taking another bite as Kel had already finished
his first slice.

"I know right?! It works way better than it has any right too!"

While Sunny took a bite of his slice before hearing the familiar flash. Basil was already putting
the camera next to his backpack and shaking the Polaroid.

"O-oh sorry, just felt like getting the moment where everyone was finally back together... It was
too special to pass up after all." He said with a soft smile.

He showed the picture to Sunny. And it dawned on him. That's why Hero had a hard time
looking at him... Because for a split second, with his androgynous face and long black hair... He
almost thought he saw Her instead of himself...

Oh.

Sunny sat next to his mother on the couch, both huddled under a blanket as they watched the
TV. His lunch with his friends earlier had gone smoothly, other than the awkward moments with
Hero throughout... But he couldn't help but be preoccupied thinking about those.

Sunny had been allowed to watch any tape he was comfortable with, his mom keeping a close
eye to make sure he was doing well. Among the things he'd found in the box of tapes his mother
had cleared out of the storage room, he found three tapes of The X-Files. He remembered walking
in on Hero and Mari watching it together in the living room while the four of them played in the
backyard...

He quietly sat under the warm blanket as they sat through the second episode tonight. Sunny was
engaged but... His thoughts were a little preoccupied. He snuggled closer as he opened his mouth to
speak.

"Hey Mom..."

"Yeah sweetheart?"

"... Should I cut my hair?" He asked curiously. Her eyes narrowed slightly, before she took a
deep breath.

"Now that's an odd question hun. Well, do you want to?" She said, her hand now holding his
shoulder tenderly. He leaned his head against her while they stayed close.

"... I don't know." In the end it didn't really matter to him whether it was short or not. Maybe
someday it might but...

"... Well is there a reason you asked then Honey?" Sunny's throat dried up as she asked the
question. It's okay... It's okay... He repeated the mantra to himself as he tried to answer.

"... It's... It's a weird reason..."

"I'll be the judge of that sweetie." She said, squeezing his shoulder to comfort him. She... She
was good at this...
 "... When I went to talk with Hero today... I was really nervous... And um... I don't know if I was
paranoid, but... Hero seemed to have a hard time looking at me..." He said. His mother's expression
shifted towards confusion.

"... And then um... When Basil took a photo of us all and showed me... I think I saw... What he
was seeing..." He was taking long pauses every few seconds. It was a struggle to put his thoughts
into words.

"... And what was that sweetie?"

"... When I looked at the photo... For a second I... I confused myself for Mari." He said, as her
gentle movements stiffened for a second.

"... And you think that bothered Hero?" She said, her expression kind and caring as she looked
him in the eyes.

"... I think..."

"... And do you want to cut your hair honey?" Sunny didn't know how to answer. He gave a
small shrug as his mother took another deep breath, before giving him a hug.

"Sweetie. It's your choice in the end. I can't tell you what the right or wrong answer is... But I
can tell you that it would be better to ask Hero about it before you made a decision for his sake."
Sunny stiffened up. He knew that was the answer he should follow... But...

"B-but it's... It's weird... And what if I was just being paranoid?" He felt that familiar voice
emanating from within as he spoke of his fears. That voice began egging him on, urging him to
believe his own fears.

"Do you really think He'd react negatively to you caring about how he feels? Even if it's a
misunderstanding?" Sunny went silent as his mother held him.

"... Hero is a good kid. I've spent enough time with him to learn that... Him and his whole
family... I owe them so deeply for the love and support they've lent me of the past four years...
And that support extends to you too honey. It always will. So just trust me and talk to him about it.
It'll make you feel better."

Sunny hugged her back and she wrapped the blanket tighter around them. If he could trust
anything right now, he could trust his mother's words. Even if he couldn't truly understand how she
loved him, he could still feel it in every word.

"Okay Mom, I'll try... C-can we do dinner soon? "

"How about once this episode is done? Let's make it together." She said, as Sunny nodded. The
warmth of the blanket made his anxious heart relax, along with his mother's arm wrapped around
him.

"Make sure to keep stirring sweetie. Don't want the noodles to get stuck to the bottom, now do
we?" She said as she sautéed her own half of the dish in a pan. Sunny hadn't been having any
particular cravings, so his mother had suggested a dish a coworker had given her instructions for. A
shrimp pesto pasta.

Sunny was handling the pasta, while his mother was handling the rest of the dish. He wished he
could help more, but that would have to come later. He scooped out some of the pasta, blowing on
it to cool down before tasting it. He soon offered the spoon to his mother, who also tasted it.

"That seems just right sweetie. Can you handle straining it or would you like an extra hand?"

"... I would like an extra hand."

Sunny's mother turned down the heat and left the shrimp for a moment while she helped Sunny
straining the pasta into the sink, keeping one cup of water for later. Once they were finished
pouring it in together, she left him to shake the strainer while she went back to cooking the Shrimp
which were almost done anyways.

After he'd finished with the pasta, the two of them took the now empty pot. Together they mixed
in the pasta, shrimp, butter, spinach, and half the cup of water into the pot, letting Sunny stir it as
they cooked it through. Once the leaves were wilted, she turned off the heat and began scooping in
the pesto while Sunny continued mixing it together.

With some help, the dish was finally played as the two sat back down on the couch, digging in
together after his mother went up to the tape player to unpause the next episode they would be
watching together.

"Umm... Thanks mom... For what you said earlier." He said, awkwardly looking away as he
spoke.

"It's not a big deal honey. I'll help you any way I can after all." She said with that familiar, warm
tone of voice.

"I know..." He said. He wanted to say more but... He just couldn't get the right words. It was so
unbelievably frustrating.

His mother looked at him, before sliding up next to him and wrapping the blanket around him.

"If you're having trouble sweetie, it's fine to talk about it... I know how detrimental it can be to
keep everything bottled up and try to do it all on your own."

"... I just... I wanted to say something but the words always just... Stop..." Sunny's mother sighed
before hugging him again.

"That's okay honey. It just means you still have room to grow... I know the past four years were
rough for you, but you're still a kid. You can't always know the right words. Especially at your age.
I don't even know the right words."

"It always feels like you do though."

"I'm not some wise old sage... I've just been through alot of what you have honey... I've made the
wrong decisions before and lived through the consequences." She said, as Sunny leaned closer to
her.

"... You have?"

"... Yes sweetie. I was troubled as a kid... I'd rather not go into detail but..." She paused, before
the slight quaver in her voice became more apparent as the memories drenched her words with a
strange kind of comfort. A mutual understanding of sorrow.

"From my experience, I know things get easier. It... It doesn't disappear. You just learn how to
handle it with time. Time and help. You understand honey?"
 "... I think so." Sunny knew it wouldn't be easy... But... Just hearing those words from someone
else made that flicker of hope a little brighter. That it will get easier.

She smiled before they both went back to their food, having missed a good chunk of the episode
while they were chatting. Sunny didn't care that much though. Just spending time like this was all
he wanted.

Chapter End Notes

Music Notes:

The Title of This Chapter is taken from Rocky Votolato's 2006 Album "Makers"

Rocky Votolato is a rather unsung singer-songwriter from the pacific northwest,

popping up around the same time that bands like Death Cab were beginning to make
waves, his band Waxwing fit right into the seattle indie scene, mixing post hardcore
and emo with standard indie rock. At the same time, Rocky was already working on
material for what would become his solo career, stuff which didn't fit with his bands
faster and more aggressive style. This material would culminate in his first three LP's,
his self titled debut, "Burning My Travels Clean", and "Suicide Medicine", but his
closest encounter with wider acknowledgement came with Makers, whose first track
"White Daisy Passing" got a music video alongside being featured in a popular teen
drama at the time. I do know some people consider singer-songwriters to be a dime a
dozen, but I will still wholeheartedly recommend RV and his body of work. As for the
choice of this song itself, I mostly felt the chorus fit a common element between
Sunny and Hero in this. Both still live and drive themselves forward through an
unhealthy amount of guilt surrounding Mari.

"The uppers aren't necessary

The guilt is the coal
That keeps the fire burning
Into driving out the cold
That creeps in every corner crack
And never leaves you alone
Till the lonely messengers come
Calling you back home"

It's a very unhealthy empathy that the two will share and one I hope will be critical to
the both of them slowly getting better and finding healthier ways of dealing with these
emotions.

And now with something more depressing out of the way, let's jump into something a
little lighter for this one. Honolulu Mountain Daffodils. A band that needs an
introduction cause no one knows them. As far as anyone knows they never performed
live, promoted their music, or anything. And that was on purpose. All artists were
listed under pseudonyms, but amongst them was a man named Adrian Borland, who I
will go into much more detail about at a later date. The purpose of the band was to
attempt to purposefully make a cult band, with eclectic influences, next to no
information on them, so that they'd slowly gain a fanbase through people searching
through five dollar record bins. And its sort of worked out. Their style is almost a mix
of the style of 80's indie rock, with the mood of a pub rock band. They're weird, they're
absolutely not for everyone, but that's why I dig them. They committed to an idea and
in the end, they really did design a perfect storm to become a cult band. I recommend
their second album "Tequila Dementia" Especially, tracks like "Disturbo Charger" and
"Also Spracht Scott Thurston" give a good example of the sheer variety in their sound.

Again, thank you for reading, I sincerely hope you enjoyed. As always, if you've got a
question, just leave it in the comments.

- Magus
 Every Gentle Soul
Chapter Notes

Sorry for the wait, these next two chapters were giving me nothing but trouble, so I
had to scrap them nearly three seperate times each, but I think I've got them down.
This Chapter touches a little on Hero, who I'm slowly getting to grips with writing.
Hopefully he'll come off more natural as time goes on. Anyways hope you enjoy
Reading.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"... God damn it..."

Sunny closed his sketchbook and laid his head on top of it with a sigh. Nearly an hour of staring
at a blank page without anything coming to him. He tried sketching things around his room but
nothing seemed to work out. He knew he should take a break but... He didn't know if he even
wanted to continue. It's such a chore.

Sunny pushed himself out of his chair and left his room. He hadn't done much today otherwise,
so maybe spending sometime outside of his bedroom could help him focus. Downstairs his mother
was reading in the living room, while he walked to the kitchen to heat up the kettle.

"What're you making Hon?" She asked from the other room.

"... Tea..." He said, walking back into the living room to wait with her, sitting on the couch by
her side.

"Hmm. Got yourself stressed Hon?"

"... More frustrated... I wanted to draw but I just got really annoyed."

"Well having a nice drink and taking a break is a good way of loosening up." She said, gently
rubbing his shoulder before she turned back to her book. The two of them sat in the comfort of
eachothers silence before he heard the Kettle from the living room.

Soon he was back in the living room with a fresh cup of tea, sitting back down as he blew on the
mug. Taking a slow sip as he looked to his mother.

"... What book is that?"

"Geek Love."

"... That's a weird name."

"The name actually comes from the original meaning of Geek, which was used for carnival
performers, specifically people who'd work in freak shows. The book itself is about... Alot more
than that honestly. I think you'd probably want to wait a few years before reading it." She said,
before setting the book down and stretching her arms.

"... Is it really that bad?"

 "No but it does go some dark places."

"... Do you like it at least?"

"Yeah, I really do." She said with a soft smile. Sunny looked at the strange orange cover of the
book, as he went back to sipping his tea. Soon however, the two of them were interrupted by the
doorbell. His mother stood up to answer the door while Sunny sat in silence, sipping his tea.

"Henry, what a lovely surprise! It's good to see you again." She said, giving the young man a
Hug as Sunny peaked to the door. He honestly hadn't even thought about Hero coming over today,
so his arrival was a pleasant surprise and a good change of pace. He set down his mug and walked
over to the door.

"It's good to be back. You're taking care of yourself right?" Hero said, his face showing a slight
look of concern.

"I've told you before, there's no need to worry about me Henry, I've been making plenty of
progress. But I'm glad you're still checking in. Anyways, what are you doing here, just checking
in?" She said, as Sunny walked up next to her.

"... He's um... He's here for me..." Sunny piped up, to which his mother gave him a slightly
surprised look.

"I... I asked him to help me learn how to cook... Cause I wanna do more stuff around the
house..."

"If you want to sweetie, I would gladly accept your help around the house." She said, gently
petting his head while Sunny's face went red. Soon, the two of them moved out of the entryway as
Hero came inside the house.

"Do you think you two will need my help with anything?"

"C'mon Miss Thompson, I'm plenty qualified to teach Sunny how to cook."

"I'm not saying you aren't Henry, but the offer still stands if you need me to run to the store to
grab something for you."

"It'll be no problem. Thanks for the thought though, Ma'am." He said, as him and Sunny made
their way to the kitchen, Sunny's mother going back to the couch to read her book.

"Alright Sunny, if we're gonna start cooking, let's do something simple. Now, one idea I had,
which you might be interested in..." He said, as he set a bag on the counter and began to take out a
bag of brown sugar and several other ingredients.

"Chocolate Chip Cookies. I figured since it was getting close to Christmas time, it might be nice
to teach you something simple and sweet." He said, looking through their cabinets to grab some
Flour and baking soda.

Sunny eagerly came up to the counter with Hero, watching him lay out all the ingredients they
needed as he looked on in wonder.

"You really put salt in chocolate chip cookies?"

"You only put a little. But let's move that faaaaaar away from the rest of the ingredients. I
remember trying to teach Kel and... Well let's just say he understands the important of
measurements now." Sunny laughed a little hearing that, before Hero grabbed a glass bowel from
the cabinets below the counter.

"So, cookies are pretty simple to start. The first thing you need to do is mix the Butter, And both
sugars together. Now I brought some over since they want softer butter to start." He said, opening
two sticks and putting them in the bowl, as he grabbed an electric whisk from one of the drawers
below.

"I'll let you do the whisking for the next part. So first we get the butter nice and soft, like this."
He said, before starting the whisk as he began to effectively shred the butter, turning it from two
solid sticks to something that looked more like scrambled eggs. After a minute, he stopped, before
turning to Sunny.

"Next is the sugars. There should be a measuring cup in the drawer just to the left of the sink.
Can you get one cup of brown and white sugar for me sunny?" He said, as Sunny pulled out the
glass cup. He reached to grab the Brown sugar bag and gently poured it into the cup. Once he was
finished, he poured it into bowl and repeated the process with the white sugar.

"Alright, now, if you would do the Honors?" He said letting Sunny take the electric Whisk as he
began mixing the three ingredients together.

"So when is it good to stop?"

"Once all of it looks to be about the same color and consistency, like a light brown." Hero said,
as Sunny continued moving the electric whisk in a circle. Finally, he stopped, looking at the
beginnings of their cookies.

"Seems good. Next are the eggs. Obviously if we wanna make more cookies we'd use more of
each ingredient, but for this we're only gonna use two eggs, and one at a time." He grabbed the
eggs from the fridge and proceeded to crack one into the bowl, before letting him mix it right in.
They repeated the process with the second egg. He followed that up with the vanilla extract.

"Now this one is a little more particular, so let me show you." He said, grabbing the smallest
bowl he could find, alongside a small mug, before filling the mug with hot water. Inside the small
bowl, he scooped out a small amount of baking soda. And then used the same spoon to pour in just
a small amount of hot water, before mixing it to dissolve the baking soda.

"... Why do you need to mix it like that?"

"You need to activate baking soda, otherwise it's mostly just a useless powder. With this it'll
actually, you know, help bake the cookies." He said, before pouring the baking soda into the bowl.
He used the spoon to scoop out just a small amount of salt, before Sunny reached over to start
whisking.

"We don't need to whisk it as finely this point. You can just use a wooden spoon to mix it from
here on." He said, handing one to Sunny from the cabinet. Sunny was a little upset he didn't get to
use the fancy equipment anymore, but he oblidged, mixing the cookie dough thoroughly before
Hero brought out the final ingredient. The chocolate chips.

The two of them excitedly poured the chocolate chips into the dough before Hero let Sunny mix
it all together. It was exciting seeing everything come together and become a real product instead
of just some partially mixed ingredients.

"Alright, and that's the dough. The hard part is next, and that's the waiting." He said, as he
grabbed a baking tray from a cabinet. He sprayed the tray down with cooking spray, before using a
spoon to scoop out several semi circular lumps of dough, laying them across the tray. Once he was
done, he'd slide the tray into the already heated oven, grabbing the timer on the counter and setting
it to ten minutes.

"Now we wait..." Hero said, the two of them remaining in the kitchen. The silence already began
ratcheting up Sunny's anxiety. Now that he was close... Should he ask it? Or should he leave that
for later. He wanted to clear the air but... He was afraid of what could come from Hero when they
spoke about it.

"Hero."

"Yeah Sunny?"

"... Is it uncomfortable to be around me?" He said quietly, looking away while Hero stood there,
stunned.

"Sunny, why would it be? You're like a little brother to me, I wo-"

"You know what I'm asking... Do I remind you of her too much?" Sunny interrupted, his voice
getting a little louder before he finally went quiet again. Hero's body tensed up from that. He
opened his mouth several times, unable to get the words out, before he walked over to Sunny. He
leaned back against the counter next to him and took a deep breath.

"... Yeah... You did yesterday... I'm sorry. To tell you the truth part of that was my nerves... I
was terrified of meeting you again." Sunny's eyes opened wide as he stared at Hero.

"... Why would you be afraid?"

"Well... I don't do it anymore but... I used to blame myself for... You know. And... I was really
afraid you would too... If you did I couldn't really blame you for feeling that way... But that thought
just kept eating away after I heard about you coming back." Hero said, his somber expression
contrasted with the soft smile on his face.

"I know right, that's a pretty selfish thought isn't it? So when I was already on edge, and I saw
you and... You looked like her for a second, I was afraid I was dreaming. That I'd wake up and
everything would be gone again." Hero laughed at himself as he tried to lighten the mood.

"... I'm glad you're here though. It's where you deserve to be. It's where you should have been
these past four years." He said, before Sunny spoke up again.

"... I've um... I've been having alot of those thoughts as well..." Sunny said, fiddling with his
thumbs while he spoke.

"... Like about wether or not any of this is real... The first day I slept in my room again, I... I was
thinking about wether or not I'd wake up back in my father's apartment or not..."

"... I'm still afraid... That this is all a dream... Everything always feels to good to be true..."

"... Sunny. Do you want a hug?" Sunny would nod before Hero embraced the sniffling boy, the
timer for the cookies suddenly ringing as he held Sunny close, ignoring it for the time being. Once
it stopped, Hero would finally sigh.

"You've been through alot, huh bud?" Sunny nodded, opting not to speak.
 "I won't say that everything is better now. You've... You've still got a long road ahead Sunny.
And I'm going to be there for you now. Like it should have been. Cause we're always going to be
family."

"... Really?"

"Of course. You'll always be a little brother to me. So don't hesitate to rely on me. And don't
worry about being a burden, it's never a burden to ask for help when you need it." Hero said, before
finally letting go. Sunny held him for a few minutes longer, before he stopped hugging him as
well.

"Now, wanna get those cookies out to cool?"

"... Sure..."

"You don't have to help clean Sunny, you can spend some time reading or listening to music if
you'd like." His mother said, as Sunny wiped the dishes with a paper towel before putting them on
the drying rack. Hero had left a few hours ago to spend some more time with his family, although
he left the cookie ingredients with Sunny and his mother in case they wanted to make some
together.

"It's fine... I don't really have much to do right now... And I still don't feel like drawing anymore
today." He said, putting another plate on the rack before his mother handed him a bowl.

"Alright sweetie. Well there's not much we need to clean today... Actually." She stopped
washing the dishes, wiping her hands with a rag before going to the living room to check in her
notebook.

"Do you want to get a phone after we're done with the dishes Hon?" Sunny perked up as his
mother walked back into the kitchen, before nodding. The two of them went to work finishing the
dishes, not hurrying themselves as it was still bright out.

Once they were finished, Sunny would go upstairs to grab a coat, while his mother waited by the
door. The two of them would be off in a few moments, driving towards the mall a little over an
hour away.

Sunny sat in bed that night, staring at the phone sitting on his night stand. His friends had been
rather busy today, so he couldn't get their phone numbers yet... But soon he would. He'd probably
have to learn how to use one properly. A phone call seemed easy but the tiny little keyboard
seemed odd. Well, he'd figure it out tomorrow. He leaned over to turn off the light, but he paused.
He stared at his desk, his sketchbook still sitting on it.

Sunny looked for a few minutes, before he got up off of his bed and sat at his desk. The light
was dim, it was getting late, but he'd give it one more shot. He decided to scrape through the box
again to see if there was something to inspire him.

Inside was a container of colored pencils. Sunny lit up with excitement as he wondered what he
could do with them. He sat at the desk before he started sketching out a face. Just a little cartoon
one at first. But over the next few minutes, it became very clear who he was drawing.

Hero was the one of his friends who'd grown the most since he saw him. Well technically Kel
had "Physically" grown more, but all of them were still kids. Hero was an adult now, with adult
responsibilities. And yet that genuine kindness that made him such a wonderful person to talk to
 had stayed. In some ways had grown even more powerful.

He was surprised to hear that Hero struggled with those thoughts as well... But... It made sense.
Neither of them realized what she was truly going through before it was all over. But... Seeing
Hero laugh even when talking about the pain was almost uplifting. Sunny wished he could smile
like that.

He stared at his drawing of Hero. It wasn't perfect, but that just gave it character all its own. His
unsteady hand, the slightly off shape of his pupils, the way the coloring in his face accidentally
spread outside the lines. Each little blemish made it feel distinctly like his friend. Made it feel
warmer.

Made it feel human.

Chapter End Notes

Music Notes:

The Title of This Chapter is taken from The Blackeyed Susans 1993 Album, "All
Souls Alive"

Yes, yet another Australian group, it seems I have a thing for Australian musicians
apparently. Formed initially as a part time group by David McComb of the Triffids
during a Hiatus of that group, it's lineup was very fluid throughout the early years and
later on, with the only constants being Singer and Guitarist Rob Snarski, and Phil
Kakulas on Bass. McComb would almost completely exit the group after this album,
only contributing vocals to one song, although he did cowrite several tracks. The band
is a mixture of Alternative and Folk Rock, often leaning towards one side or the other
depending on the track. The group's charm comes primarily from their mixing of
Alternative and Folk Rock without any bells, whistles, or gimmicks, making for a
sound that doesn't pigeonhole itself to one audience. The Track Itself wasn't chosen for
the lyrics this time, as this was originally a title for a Hero focused chapter from a
much earlier draft of this Fic which basically shares next to no similarities to it. But it's
a nice title, so I'll keep it. Anyways, recommended tracks from this album include the
aforementioned title of this Chapter, "Dirty Water", "This One Eats Souls", and an
additional recommendation for their later Album "Dedicated To The Ones We Love",
composed entirely of covers including one of a David McComb track as tribute to the
man himself, as he had passed just a few years before that albums release.

As always, if you have any criticisms or questions, please don't be afraid to leave a
comment below. And honestly if you just wanna recommend music too, I'd also gladly
read those too. Thank you so much for Reading.

- Magus
 Take Care Of Yourself (Следи за собой)
Chapter Notes

So yeah, I have been adjusting to writing on my computer again instead of my phone

since my phone is dying after like, 4 or 5 years of serving me well (Thank you very
much for lasting this long!). Hopefully I'll get a new one soon and I can get back to
working at a steadier pace. Otherwise, HAPPY NEW YEAR I guess. I hope I won't
leave you with as long of a gap in between chapters as this one.

Again, feedback is happily accepted, especially since while I have ideas for how this
story will go, sometimes it's hard to figure out what to do with a scene I enjoy to make
it properly flow within a narrative.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The car ride was kind of awkward. As much as his mother tried to make him comfortable...
Sunny still didn't know how this last meeting would go. He knew... He knew he needed therapy.
And he wanted to get help. He knew that the way he thought was warped... Twisted by his own
paranoia. But it was difficult to fight those thoughts when you have to live through them every day
of your life. Difficult to separate real and fake when you're deep in the trenches of your own
psyche.

Here he was, sat in the parking lot yet again as his mother grabbed them some drinks from a gas
station. Sunny felt like the past few hours he had talked more than the rest of his life beforehand.
Sunny's mother came back into the car with a cup of hot chocolate, handing it to Sunny before she
buckled herself back in. They were only ten minutes away by her estimate, but she figured getting
him a nice warm drink might 'Ease his nerves a little'. It may not have completely helped, but
having the warm cup in his hands was nice. Kept him focused a little more.

"Just a little while longer and we'll be done for the day honey. Just sit tight and I'll make sure
everything goes smoothly, okay?"

"... Thanks Mom." Sunny replied with a quick nod, got back on the street, driving towards the
therapists office.

When they finally arrived at the building where his last potential therapist worked, Sunny
gulped. The tall, Grey building looked rather cold. A complex filled with various offices on every
floor. Compared to the previous two therapists they had visited, this felt... Clinical almost...

"... Do you wanna hold my hand honey?" She asked, looking over at him as they sat in the
parked car. The drive had been mostly silent, save for some small talk from her end. Like usual,
Sunny hesitated, opening his mouth as no sounds came out. He turned his face to hide his
expression.

"Sweetie, there's no need to feel embarrassed... You deserve to feel as comfortable as you need.
And if that means you need to squeeze my hand to work up the courage, no one will judge you,
okay?" She said, kissing his forehead as Sunny relaxed. She stepped out of the car with him, before
walking over to the passengers side to grab his hand.
 "... Thanks..."

"It's what I'm here for Hon." She said, squeezing his hand as they walked into the complex. It
was around 30 minutes away from Faraway, close to the more densely populated City of Dagger
Beach. The complex housed a variety of offices, with their last prospective therapist at the top.
Their previous two visits had produced mixed results. The first therapist, Sunny didn't particularly
feel comfortable talking to yet, while the second therapist had an astoundingly high rate along with
incredibly limited availability. Sunny's mother would pay whatever it took to help him, but she
sadly had to live within her realistic limits when it came to her finances.

The top floor held only two offices, one for an experimental art studio and the other for their
therapist for the day. Ms. Rhett Attaway. Sunny's mother had found her through a discussion with
her own therapist, and after a few conversations over the phone had set up an in person meeting.
His mother felt that she could be a good fit for him, but in the end, it was up to Sunny whether or
not he was comfortable with her.

The waiting room was very comfortable, much to Sunny's relief. Two couches sat against the
walls diagonal from eachother, and a small wooden coffee table sat beneath them. On a table
opposite was an electric kettle and some paper cups, alongside a mug filled with Popsicle sticks, a
small box of teabags, sugar cubes, and a carton of hot chocolate with a spoon on top.

Much of the room was a deep green color, from the walls to the shelving to one of the couches.
The carpeted floor was distinctly 1980's, not quite garish, but absolutely not understated, a decision
probably made years before this therapist ever moved in. Behind one couch sat an art piece, of a
forest in the depth of Autumn, A river bisecting the trees, where two figures sat fishing along the
bank.

In the corner, a woman sat at her desk at her computer, a look of frustration on her face.
Eventually, she glanced over to notice the two of them waiting for her. She happily took the
moment to get away from her computer troubles, as she walked over to greet them.

"Sorry for not noticing you, computer troubles had me distracted. the thing does wonders for my
productivity when it isn't giving me a colossal Headache. I'm Rhett Attaway, You must be Renee,
correct?" Sunny's mother shook her hand while he slid slightly backwards. Rhett was slightly older,
probably her early 40's. She wore short hair, trimmed overall but with a slightly messy quality, with
Square rimmed glasses.

"Mm-hmm, It's nice to meet in person. And as I've mentioned, this is Sunny." She said, to which
Sunny, mostly willingly, greeted her as well. His eyes averted as he spoke.

"I-it's nice to meet you, M-m'am..."

"It's nice to meet you too. Well, since you're here a little ahead of schedule, if you want to start
now we can, or you can take a moment to relax in the waiting area." She said, gathering a small
clipboard and some notebooks from her desk. Sunny's mother gave him a glance as she let the
decision fall to him.

"Um... I'd like to start now, if that's okay. We've been doing meetings all day so... I'd like to go
home sooner than later... Sorry..."

"You don't have to Worry Sunny, I completely understand. Now, since this is our first meeting,
I'll have both of you follow me into the room for this appointment. If I do end up becoming your
therapist though, your mother will have to sit outside during our sessions, if that's okay with you."
She said, as they entered the smaller room. In it was a small recliner and another couch, with a
couple throw pillows. Against the wall was a bookshelf, and a side table next to the couch.

"Alright, well... You've given me some details of the situation, so whatever you are both
comfortable with, I'd like to hear as much as I can so I can understand exactly what you are both
looking for when it comes to therapy." She said, before Sunny's mother cleared her throat. She
squeezed his hand as she told their story.

Rhett finished writing in her notebook as she took a slow breath. She looked at both Sunny and
his mother. Sunny was embarrassed at how badly he had spoken, always stuttering like a stupid
litt-

"I think I have a good idea of your situation now. And as long as you're both still willing, I
would be glad to schedule you sometime within the next two weeks for a proper initial
appointment." She said with a soft voice as she grabbed a small notebook.

"But I did notice something I wanted to ask. Sunny, do you have a hard time speaking?"

"... Y-yes..."

"It's okay. It's not something to be ashamed of, but if I may suggest, to make things easier for
you." She handed him the small notebook. Sunny politely took it with a questioning look.

"If you want, you could try writing instead. It would make our sessions slower to start, but I feel
as though it might be more comfortable for you expressing how you feel through writing rather
than speech. Of course, we can look into ways to help get you more comfortable speaking, but that
doesn't have to happen immediately."

Sunny looked at the small notebook. It was a dark blue color. Just bigger than his hand. Inside
the pages were perforated, with a soft Grey tint to the pages themselves.

"You don't have to just use words either. I've had some of my clients attempt to use more abstract
methods if they're really having trouble conveying something properly, illustrations especially help
in those situations." Sunny was still looking at the book while listening to her. He slowly looked
up and nodded. She gave a smile before standing up.

"Well, you both can contact me when you come to a decision. I'm glad to have met you both."

"Thank you for taking the time out of your day for us." His mother said, while Sunny slowly
stood up as well, putting the notebook in the pocket of his sweater. He and his mother would leave,
with Sunny giving a small wave as they exited the office.

Once they got to the car, His mother relaxed.

"Well, that's everyone for today. Let's get back to the house and get some Lunch going sweetie.
And don't worry, you can take all the time you need to come to a decision." She said, while Sunny
felt the notebook sitting against his body. He knew he should take the time but... Something about
that suggestion, of communicating his words outside of speech... It gave him a little more trust than
he expected.

"Okay..." He said, patting the notebook as his mother started the car. They pulled out of the
driveway and back onto the street, ready to make their trip back to Faraway. Back home.

"Are you sure you're okay with answering the door sweetie?"
 "... I'll be fine. I was only scared last time because it was so late and dark." And that was mostly
the truth. The dark night definitely heightened his paranoia and intrusive thoughts, making him see
threats where there were none. But the calm afternoon sun of Autumn was far more relaxing for
him.

Sunny left his mother to handle the cooking alone for a moment, while he went to the door to
open it. And there his heart rate shot up just a bit for different reasons.

"Hey Sunny, sorry to drop in!" Aubrey said, Basil tagging along right behind her with an
apologetic smile. Sunny was like a deer in headlights as he tried to respond.

"W-what are you two doing here?" He stammered, to which Aubrey chuckled.

"We wanted to see you dummy!" She said, giving him a tap on the shoulder with her fist.

"Me and Basil were just hanging out together, and I suggested we take a visit. Little mister
sourpuss here took some convincing though." Basil's face scrunched up at the rather degrading
nickname.

"I just thought it might be polite to call and ask first!" He said with a huff, before Aubrey
laughed quietly.

"You're way too easy to mess with Basil." She said, before Sunny finally stepped back to let
them inside.

"W-we were making dinner, but I don't know if there will be enough for you two."

"It's fine Sunny, we came to visit, not to eat your mom's cooking. No offense Miss Thompson."
Basil called out to Sunny's mother, who laughed from the kitchen.

"None taken sweetie. You can hang out with them Sunny, I'll handle the cooking for today."
Before Sunny could argue, Aubrey was already pushing him into the hallway.

"Alright alright, there's no need to push me..." Sunny said as the three of them walked upstairs to
hang out in his room... His room...

"Why are we even hanging out in my room? Wouldn't it be better to hang out downstairs?"

"No reason. I just decided and by the time you asked that question I was too lazy to to back
downstairs yet." She said, sitting herself on the floor with the rest of them.

"...Okay, I guess... Where's Kel?"

"I dunno, I'm not his keeper. He's probably still tied up at home with Hero and his Family
around now."

"Yeah, they're probably making preparations for Thanksgiving tomorrow. Kel's mom always
goes the extra mile for stuff like that." Basil chimed in as he set his messenger bag in his lap.

"Thanksgiving is tomorrow?"

"Yeah, why, you two planning anything for thanksgiving?" Aubrey asked, leaning forward with
an inquisitive look on her face.

"N-no, not that I know of... I didn't even realize thanksgiving was tomorrow, all dad ever did
then was buy some some roasted chicken from the store and leave it in the fridge." He deigned to
mention hearing his father cry whenever thanksgiving, or any holiday came around.

"She's probably gonna bring you to Kel's then. They basically host all of us now, although it
took a good amount of convincing to bring Aubrey around."

"Well yeah, Mrs. Zavala is nice but you remember how I treated Kel for the first two years after,
you know. I sent him home with a black eye once! I thought she would skin me alive if I ever
came around again." She said, with an expression of exaggerated fear.

"I don't think she's that protective of him..."

The three of them sat on the floor for the time being, Aubrey pulling a notebook out of her bag
and passing it to Basil.

"By the way, I forgot to ask earlier, can you check these for me? Math really isn't my strong
suit."

"I don't know why you'd expect it to be mine... I can just barely scrape by with Kim's help."

Sunny leaned over to take a look at the notebook. Before noticing something familiar. He
remembered some of these problems. Their teacher must have used the same curriculum his tutor
had.

"... I think these are okay... But you should show the steps more... Teachers like it when you
show each step, even if it's really not worth doing it..." Basil said, before before sunny pointed
towards one of the equations.

"That one is wrong though... Parenthesis come first."

"Thanks Sunny... Wait, when the hell did you take math classes?"

"... I told you guys... I had to have a tutor since I stopped going to school a year after I left..."

"Still, I expected you to be like, a little more behind than this." She said with a sigh.

"There goes my plans..." She said in a muffled voice, which Sunny couldn't quite make out.

"...Did you say something?"

"Nothing important... Well it's good to know I've got someone else to rely on to check my notes.
Kel isn't stupid but for the life of me I cannot read his handwriting, I don't even know how the
teachers grade him. But the lowest he's gotten is like a C so he must be doing something right."
She said, as Sunny quietly pored over her notebook.

It was almost like when they were kids. Kel usually got Hero to help him with his homework,
while the three of them would usually rely on Mari. But she was insistent on teaching them instead
of just correcting them, so they would sit for an hour and compare their notes as she talked them
through the concepts. For once the memories of her aren't bringing tears, but the sense of
melancholy still holds true.

But he instead focused on the now. It may not have been the reason they came over, but it was a
fun diversion for Sunny. He may have hated actually going to school, but he enjoyed the work. It
was easy to get lost in it, and unlike his dreams he never had to worry about everything going
sideways when he was doing math.
 Basil's notes were marked by his incredibly liberal use of highlighters, Three Colors that Sunny
slowly pieced together were ranked by importance and type of information. Aubrey's was Densely
packed, cramming what must have been a dozen pieces of information into half the page. It was
efficient, but it made them harder to read for anyone but herself.

Around 20 minutes of work was done between the three of them before a knock came to Sunny's
door.

"Food is ready whenever you three wanna come downstairs..." She said, before walking back
down to the living room. Aubrey sighed as she packed up her schoolwork.

"Sorry, didn't realize how much time we wasted on schoolwork. Not exactly the most exciting
way to spend time together huh?"

"... I enjoyed it."

Chapter End Notes

Music Notes:

The Title of This Chapter is taken from the final album by acclaimed Russian band
Кино (Kino), Self Titled, from 1990.

Finding this band was a stroke of pure luck honestly, I was using the search features
on discogs and after trolling through what must have been like a dozen pages of
albums, I saw the stark cover, tiny white text spelling Кино on a black background. So
of course, I decided to acquire the album (Through totally legal means), and listened to
it.

Кino (as I will call them from herein), Formed in 1982 (although technically formed in
1981 under a different name), Kino started out with a much folkier sound than their
later releases, helped mostly by musical assistance from other prominent 80's russian
rock band "Aquarium". However, by their third album they'd start implementing more
clear elements of new wave and post punk, mostly due to the fact that they didn't have
as easy of access to high end music equipment compared to their contemporaries on
the other side of the iron curtain. However, with each subsequent release their style
became more distinct, Lead Singer Viktor Tsoi's singing grew deeper alongside his
improvements to his songwriting style, made Kino a force to be reckoned with, to the
point that they made international attention with a compilation album of Kino and
three other russian bands (including the aformentioned Aquarium), released without
commercial gain, with tapes smuggled out of the USSR by a contact between the
bands and the label who ended up releasing it, Joanna Stingray. This lead to, as far as I
can find, their only American release, 1988's Группа крови (Gruppa Krovi, or Blood
Type), alongside them acquiring higher end recording equipment, again smuggled into
the soviet union by Joanna Stingray. Two more albums followed, alongside one of
their biggest concerts. Afterwords, Viktor and Guitarist Yuri Kasparyan traveled to
Latvia to work on their next album. Viktor would not live to see the release, as while
driving back from a fishing trip, he got into a fatal car accident. Afterwords, the band
compiled the vocal tracks from Viktor's Demos and created their final album before
disbanding completely. The band has released many demos and outtakes since, and
done benefit and tribute concerts, but no new material has been made by the members
of the band without the involvement of Viktor Tsoi.

Their Music fits so perfectly into the canon of Post Punk, it is a true shame they are
not recognized anywhere near the same as their contemporary western counterparts.
Their final album in my opinion is their peak, with their musical style developing a
sort of prototype to the sounds that would eventually be used in Post-Punk Revival
bands years later. I recommend their final album, Группа крови, and Последний
герой as good entry points for most new fans.

Again, thank you for listening to my rambling. And sorry if this chapter felt a little
short.

- Magus
 Song For The Sun
Chapter Notes

Hey, I promised this one wouldn't take as long, and as promised, it's here way sooner
than the last two. Part of that is a dramatic difference you'll see from the start. That's
right this is the first chapter with any segment 'Outside of Sunny's Perspective', which
honestly happened by pure accident. I was just looking for a good title for a
thanksgiving themed chapter, ended up on a swans album, and then when I started
reading the lyrics I just went "Oh fuck oh shit I've got it". Anyways, thank you so
much for supporting me. I'd be updating more often but My job is finally getting more
eventful so I'll probably go back to being very inconsistent with my releases.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

As she turns over that morning, she sees him in bed again. It's the way she always remembered
him back then. The man she fell for, the man she made a family with. He's leaning in bed, reading
a book, as she reaches over to touch his hair, thick black curls that she could spend hours running
her fingers through. He turns and greets her with a smile. She returns it in kind. She feels guilty...
but she always loves this part of the dream. The part where things are still fine. Where she doesn't
have a single worry at all. But she knows these feeling won't last. She wonders if his smile was
ever real. Of the sweet affection she gave him, or the nights they spent together, or every kiss they
ever shared... does he still think about it as much as she does. Because it hurts so much. It hurts to
think that someone you loved so deeply could treat you that way. That someone you bared your
heart and soul too would rend it into pieces without a second thought.

But she doesn't cry about it anymore. What's done is done. The blood is on his hands just as it is
on hers, and if that's how he chose to cope, well she doesn't care how he chose to bury his own
sorrows and instead barrels towards annihilation. But taking him, taking the sun out of her life was
too much. Sunny deserves more than he could ever give. And in some ways, more than she even
can... But in that cruelty she found a reason to keep moving forward, in spite of the grief. She
laughs thinking about it this way, but it is true. A singular goal that drove her to connect with the
people she now calls friends, to understand them and genuinely care for them, something he will
never do. He will never see her smile again, never feel her fingers intertwine with his own, never
feel her body against his, and that brings some small comfort. Even when they have both moved
on, found new lives, such a deep bond will always leave a mark on the both of them. It's something
they'll both live with, and to her it's comforting that she wasn't the only one left scarred by the
breakdown of their marriage.

But even in these dreams she can't forgive what he did to their son. What he chose to do was
selfish and cruel. How he chose to treat him was not what the man she once loved would have
done. That figure is just an echo, just a shadow of who he used to be, of the man who would
embrace her and comfort her at her lowest. And he dragged the sun down with him, and for that
she can never justify his behaviour. She can dream all she wants but those hazy golden days will
always be long gone. Because she is better than him. That is one thing she can believe. Because
even when she fails, when she struggles, she won't drag him back to the depths with her.

The dream cuts like an film with no sense of subtlety, screen wipe from them embracing in bed
to her crying in the court room as he coldly uses every little detail he can of her life, of her troubled
childhood, of her personal struggles, of her mental illness, to paint a warped picture for his own
purposes. But she knows now. At that time, that warped picture wasn't what he was painting, it was
all he could see through his own twisted eyes. It wasn't a portrait, it was a caricature of her, made
to look like her to those who didn't truly know her. But at the time she couldn't help but wonder
where the truths began and where his lies ended.

She feels a warm embrace. And the courtroom is melting like watercolors bleeding into
eachother. A late winter night. It's the first time she's even bothered coming out of her house in
months, other than for work, or to research custody laws, desperate to find anything. Kelsey's
mother, Juliet invited her over for Dinner. She wondered how shocking it was for Kelsey and
Henry to... to see her like that. She did her best to look presentable, but she knew just from the first
steps outside that she was still disheveled. The deep set bags under her eyes didn't help.

That dinner was the first time she felt normal since then. It was brief, she felt that flash for a
second, Kelsey asked her to pass him the plate of ------, before thanking her as the conversation
continued so casually. She had to excuse herself from the table because the guilt just... completely
overwhelmed her. And then that night, she finally began spilling out. She felt guilty for just
dumping everything onto Juliet like that, but the woman just listened without a word. About how
she can't help but hate herself knowing that she didn't help Mari when she could have, how much
she misses the both of them, and how she hates how she still wishes he would come back and
forgive her. Juliet took her fingers into her hand and simply shook her head.

"There's no forgiving. Even if it was your fault alone that she... He still hurt you in a way no one
ever should. That, is what is unforgivable, not your mistakes. Every human makes mistakes, but he
made a choice. He should have to live with it... But your baby boy shouldn't."

And tonight that's where the dream ends. The alarm finally waking her up. A slow yawn comes
from her throat as she rubs her eyes. 6AM. Today is the last day of her time off from work. And it's
Thanksgiving day. She had already prepped her contributions to Mr. and Mrs. Zavala's Dinner
tonight, but she still needed to make some breakfast today. She slowly dragged herself out of bed to
take a shower. Keeping herself to a routine was core to her. She never stuck to it too severely,
because she knew how much stress could come from having everything planned down to the
minute.

And soon she's in the kitchen. She takes a look in the cupboards. She tried to plan out a nice
breakfast for the morning, before hearing trudging down the stairs.

"You're up early sweetie."

"... I had a bad dream..." He said with a sigh of resignation, before sitting on the couch.

"You wanna talk about it sweetie? Or want me to put on some coffee for you?" She said. She
silently chastised herself for offering him coffee so often. But at the same time, she knew how
much of a struggle it was to stay up after a nightmare. She wanted to make today as nice for him as
possible. Besides, she hadn't told him about their plans for dinner. She wanted to make it a nice
surprise for him.

"Coffee." He said bluntly, as he sat on the couch, still in pajamas. She's glad he liked the
constellation patterned ones he got. As a kid she always used to get him clothes with bright and
colorful patterns, Sometimes even with little suns patterned on them, but after a certain point she
started recognizing his penchant for more plain, dark colors. And even if she does encourage him
to brighten up his wardrobe a little more, she's fine with taking the little victories.

"... Why are you staring at me? Is my hair messed up?"

 "Oh, I'm just happy you liked those pajamas, they were really cute so I hoped you'd keep them."
She said, to which Sunny stammered. She couldn't help but laugh at such a surprising reaction. It
was nice having fun with him like that. She walked into the living room a few minutes later, cups
in hand as she sat down on the couch next to him. She knew it had been something he'd had since
he was young, but it was always so hard to read Sunny's face at a glance. She knew Sunny would
talk to her if he needed to but... She couldn't help but be worried. She never wanted to be one of
those Helicopter parents, everyone needs their distance, but those nagging thoughts always came
back. Those memories.

The first day Sunny was back, although she will never admit it to anyone, she had to check on
him in his room when he was asleep. She- She was terrified. She was terrified the first thing he
would do after coming back into her life would be leave everyone's. She feels so selfish for
thinking about it that way... He's not her Sun anymore. He's her child, not an object to reach for at
her lowest. And she needed to internalize that. It may have helped when she was alone and staring
at the edge of a knife in her empty house, but now that he was with her, she couldn't rely on him to
help her. She would never want to burden her own Son with those troubles, especially knowing
everything he must have gone through.

"It was another dream about her." Sunny's words snapped her out of her own skull as she
grimaced. It's involuntary. Of course it is. It's how she feels whenever she dreams of her as well.
Remembering the smile on her face before watching it get snuffed out in an instant.

"Well... Tell me about it hon. What did you dream about?" She said. It felt like she was walking
a narrow edge between forcing her way into her son's own dark space, or leaving him to fend for
himself against those hellish thoughts she struggled with for years. She needed to talk to him, and
she hoped he felt the same.

"... I-I was playing the violin again... But there was no one there. No Piano... No Practice
Room... No M-Mari... It was all darkness... I felt like there were people staring from the
shadows..." Sunny stops every few words, in an attempt to calm himself, drinking his tea and
breathing deeply. It's a process, to even find the words, then another ritual to make the sounds
come out of his own mouth. And finally a rite to keep those frightening images from resurfacing in
his minds eye.

"And so I had to play. I kept playing. Every time I messed up, I kept playing. I kept messing up,
and kept starting over, and then I s-started bleeding on the strings... and I-I kept playing... and w-
when I finally stopped and couldn't do it anymore... She w-was just staring at me, her eyes..." He
sets the cup down and starts breathing harder, before reaching his hand to grab hers. She looks at
him with a mild sense of surprise before squeezing his palm. If she can help, she would do
anything for him.

"... I hate how weak I am... Every time I start feeling okay something comes into my mind and
starts shattering everything I've built up... and then I start working from the bottom up, knowing it's
going to happen again... and again..." He said, before taking a long drink of his mug, eventually
pulling it away as he made a face.

"... I think I just burned my tongue..." He said, before smiling just a little bit. She couldn't help
but laugh a little too, before ruffling his hair as she spoke.

"Tell me hon, if you were weak, would you keep working to make yourself better? People are
strong in different ways hon, maybe it's not the way you'd like to be, but I think you could use that
kind of persistence." She said, before sitting up from the couch to stretch a little.

"But I'm not an expert. I'm just human, so you don't have to agree with what I say... Just take the
time to think about it sweetie. Now, anything you want for breakfast hon?" She asked, ready to go
back to the kitchen and properly start their morning together. Their last morning together, at least
for the time being. Maybe she could ask one of her coworkers if any of their kids were staying
home for the holidays, she'd like someone to be able to check on Sunny before she comes back
from work... She couldn't rely on that polite young lady that takes care of Basil and his
grandmother, she's already got her hands full after all.

"... Um... Something with fried eggs maybe?"

"Why specifically fried?" She asked with a curious look, already intending to make it for him
either way.

"I dunno, I just wanted eggs and that seemed a little more appealing than scrambled or sunny
side up right now..."

"That's fair. Well I'll cook something up for us honey." She said, already opening the cupboards
and looking if she had any of those nice brioche buns she bought from the bakery. It had only been
a few days so they should still be fresh.

"You finished getting dressed yet sweetie?" Sunny's mother called from the stairway as Sunny
kept looking between two sweaters, one a navy blue with what looked to be a sea chart on it, and
the other a plain dark grey. In his head the navy blue one should win out, but he kept psyching
himself out of it. Thinking that it might make him stick out like a sore thumb. Then he remembered
that he was going to Kel's, and tossed the grey sweater onto the bed as he finally chose the blue one

"Oooh, that's a nice choice honey. Blue is a good color for you." She said, before reaching out
and moving few stray strands of hair out of his face. Sunny didn't wanna say it, but it felt good
being complimented, instead of being ignored and treated like he didn't exist. However... He was
still nervous about tonight. This was his first real holiday since... since Mari was alive. Everything
else had either been celebrated in the bare minimum or completely ignored. And not to mention,
everyone was going to be coming. Excluding Aubrey's mother, but Sunny only had the slightest
recollection of her.

"Now, Let's get going sweetie, can you carry the pan for me?" She said, handing him an
aluminum baking pan as he took it in his hands. It was still warm, but not painfully so, just enough
that his body relaxed as it rested in his palms. She would carry a large bag with a few more items
for this thanksgiving extravaganza Kel's family was apparently throwing.

The two of them would go outside, the sunset making the sky a gorgeous pink color, Sunny
taking the time to appreciate it's vastness as his mother locked the door behind them for now,
before they marched approximately ten feet to the left and arrived on their front lawn. There was a
mild amount of noise already audible from the door, but that was to be expected. It was nice when
some things didn't change.

"There you are Sunny, we were worried you two wouldn't come at all!" Kel said, ushering them
into the open door as he was already trying to get Sunny up to speed on what everyone was doing
or talking about. Of course this left Sunny even more dazed than usual, til Aubrey came in with the
save, smacking Kel on the back as she grinned.

"Easy on the info dumping alright? Sunny's smart, he can ask questions if he needs to, you just
get back to arguing with Basil about comics." She said, while Kel rubbed his back.

"Jeez dude, how do you hit that hard without your bat? Anyways, You're right, Basil is not
getting away with his heathen beliefs while I'm in the room!" He said, already making his way
back over to Basil and Hero in the living room, before their argument resumed seemingly almost
immediately.

"Well, you should set your food in the kitchen with your Mom, then you can join us for a bit."
She said, leaving Sunny to follow his mother into the kitchen, setting down the Aluminum baking
pan on the table. The Adults were all huddled in the kitchen, Polly coddling Sally in her arms
happily.

"And you're sure it won't be any trouble for you to stay? We can always drop Basil off back
home if you need us to." Kel's mother said, setting her glass of water down on the counter as Sunny
entered the room, giving him a brief wave.

"It's fine Mrs. Zavala, I made sure to triple check everything before we left, Besides, if I left, you
know Basil would feel like he's intruding upon you guys and taking advantage of your hospitality."
She said, before noticing Sunny as well.

"Oh hey there Sunny, it's good to see you." She said. All sunny could give was a slow nod. All
eyes were on him, and it felt like a suddenly pressure was placed upon his throat. Thankfully, Polly
would quickly divert her attention to his mother as well. Maybe living with basil had given her a
skill at telling when someone's feeling suddenly anxious.

"It's nice seeing you again too Renee, when was it we last got to chat... I think it was last
Christmas when we met at the mall wasn't it?" She said, as Sunny quietly muttered a goodbye,
before excusing himself from the room quickly. He didn't know how his mom did it, talking to
them so naturally. It felt like he was drowning whenever he had to interact with someone he didn't
know.

He'd thankfully be reunited with his friends in a short while, Sitting down on a folding chair Kel
and Hero's parent's had brought out to accommodate their guests for today, as Kel and Basil were
still arguing.

"And I'm telling you, you're just being pedantic about it being time travel, It's a totally normal
plot device, used in plenty of normal books to great effect, just because it has a history of being
used poorly to retcon plot details in comics doesn't mean it can't have its place." The blonde said in
an exasperated tone, while Kel chugged his own orange joe before firing back.

"And I'm not arguing that its because its time travel, I'm arguing that it slanders his character! I
get that they're alternate versions of him, but Ex-Husband is such a deeply misconstrued version of
his character! And all the Hmm-ing and Haah-ing he goes over how he could still end up like that
in the future, when it directly contradicts his interpretation in the arcs before and after as someone
who acts first and thinks later, both to his benefit and his faults. Besides, introducing a crossover
with sweetheart just complicates it for new readers more than it already is!"

"... Don't worry, they'll calm down about this argument in a bit. Trust me they've gone in this
circle again and again since the Ex-Husband storyline of the comics came to a conclusion, You
should have been here the day the last issue released. We were afraid they were gonna get physical
for a few seconds back then." Hero whispered in Sunny's ear. He couldn't help but laugh at the
idea of Basil ever getting into a fight like that, especially with a relative giant like Kel.

"The thematic through line helps prop up the next arc! Those doubts and struggles help propel
him to rekindle his own drive, which makes him a smarter and more effective leader! You can
argue all you want about mishandled characterization, but the Gold and Grey Goo storyline
wouldn't have half the impact it does without Ex-Husband still weighing on the readers mind! It
helped explore a new dimension of his character!"

"Will you two stop arguing like an elderly couple? Just give it a rest for now okay? You can
argue during lunch tomorrow if you need to, but you're just gonna give everyone a headache." She
said, as Basil scoffed at her.

"Aubrey I know you read Captain Spaceboy too, I've seen the posters in your room." Basil said,
before Aubrey's face went bright red.

"Y-you said you'd keep that a secret! Do I need to bring up your sket-" She said, before Basil
shoved his hands over her face.

"Nope, you don't get to do that, no no no, you live with the consequences of pretending you
aren't as deep in this hole as we are!" He said, before moving his hands away.

"... Fiiiiiine. But you are being a little unreasonable Basil, I liked that storyline but I do think
they made Spaceboy a little too angsty in that for the sake of Drama... They could have still had the
internal conflict without making it feel like a sixteen year old actually wrote it."

"Now you're on this too? Angst doesn't mean it's inherently lesser, I figure you'd know that
considering half of the music you listen to..." Basil said with a defeated sigh, sinking into the
couch while Hero laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, I just didn't expect to see you and Kel argue this aggressively, that's more him and Aubrey's
thing."

"I blame him hanging out with Aubrey. Your mean streak rubbed off on him too much." Kel
said, making a mock accusation of Aubrey, before she laughed.

"Please, you haven't even seen him being mean, trust me, I was floored the first time he really
tried, felt like he straight up stabbed me with his words." She said, as Basil meekly tried to defend
himself.

"Y-you were the one who challenged me, don't get all shocked when I come out swinging after
you act all high and mighty about me being 'Too delicate to hurt a bumblebee'!"

"Still, you just fucking went straight for the jugular on it Basil, I'm proud. You aren't a pussy
after all."

"LANGUAGE!" Kel's mother called out from the kitchen as the three of them arguing
immediately shuddered. The group went quiet, before Kel finally spoke up.

"So how about me and Hero plate everyone up and then we can eat and watch some TV in the
living room. My mom has some VHS tapes of Charity Marathons we could watch, or we could go
digging through the storage for older tapes."

Sunny, Basil, and Aubrey would all agree as the two brothers left them to grab everyone some
plates while the adults were still chatting and eating amongst themselves. The night was young and
there was plenty of time for them to spend with their collective friends each. But of course, Sunny
and Renee would have to leave eventually.
 That night, checked in on Sunny after finishing her shower. She wished they could have spent
more time over there, she and him both need their time with their friends after all. But a soft smile
washes across her face as she opens the door after knocking, only to see him laying back, reading
something on his phone with a smile.

"... Is something wrong?"

"Nothing sweetie, just don't stay up too late, okay? Sweet dreams." She said, before she shut the
door behind her as she went back to her room for the night. She sat in bed, turning on her bedside
lamp and reaching for a book from the small shelf under the table to look for something she could
distract her mind with for a short while. Even with therapy and plenty of knowledge on how to
combat those thoughts, when you're alone at night is when you're most vulnerable to them.

Sometimes when she's alone, se remembers what it felt like those first desperate hours after she
found her son almost catatonic, his best friend panicking, and her daughter swinging from a
sycamore branch. She remembers how it felt holding the phone and trying to speak before breaking
down, as he took it from her and coldly told them what had happened to their daughter. She
remembered how quickly the news spread, how quickly he had turned on her, and how within only
a month, it felt like everything was burning all around her.

She remembered her first time going outside after the divorce. She... She felt like every person
she saw was staring at her. A pariah, in her own home, how quaint. But she knows that was just a
facade, her mind still plays tricks on her like that every now and again, but she's been through
enough now. She won't lose to herself. She can't afford to. And so, she turns off the light and lays
her head on the pillow. Hopefully tonight, instead of dreaming of a man she feels nothing for
anymore, she can dream of the people she still loves. The people who didn't betray her. The people
who made her realize that life will always have meaning as long as your heart is still beating.

And dreams will come.

Dreams come true.

And when one dream is gone, others will come in their place.

Chapter End Notes

Music Notes:

The Title of This Chapter is taken from Swans 1991 album, "White Light from the
Mouth of Infinity"

I could go into detail about swans career, from their start in the no wave scene and
their violent shows that would occasionally get the police called in, to their 90's period
which emphasized more melodic song structures and saw them err closer to post punk
while still keeping some of their signature style, to their revival as a post rock band,
but there's plenty more educated people who can tell you about that.
Instead for once I'll use this end note to talk about the fic itself, mostly minor details
around its creation.

Originally this whole fic was going to start from much earlier in Sunny's life, and
focus on the slow breakdown of his psyche before a suicide attempt forces everyone in
and around his life to take a deep look at their own selves. But then I read JohnJRenns'
wonderful Lily of the Valley, and in wanting to not just imitate what another work was
doing, I scrapped most of what I had done and planned, and started from scratch.

Sunny's mothers name was not chosen with any real purpose, I just fucking thought of
Thompson off the top of my head, since I figured she wouldn't keep her husbands
name after they divorced, and I had to have Kel call her something. I actually have last
names for most of the cast so far, mostly stolen from musicians.

Kelsey & Henry Zavala (Cedric Bixler-Zavala of Mars Volta)

Basil Ash/Ashford (Daniel Ash of Bauhaus)
Aubrey McComb (David McComb of The Triffids and briefly The Blackeyed Susans)

I was also inspired to do these musical notes at the end by "Lily of The Valley" and its
own fic recommendations at the end of each chapter. Since I really don't go outside of
my mostly sunflower bubble in Omori fanfics, I just decided to focus on another thing
anyone can enjoy, Music.

Now for something actually musically related. The lyrics of the song this chapter is
named from spoke perfectly to Renee and the character I've been building for her. I
feel like I've in some ways been making her too perfect of a mother, but at the same
time, this fic is about the process of healing and learning to love again, and I feel like
her behavior reflects that. While she hasn't completed that same journey, she is much
further along it and can thusly help her son in ways she wished she could have been
helped at her lowest. It's a song about remembering a love you once had, even when
you do not love that person anymore.

"Now they say that Hell is a place where memory's dead

And the only thing left is this moment moving further away
But I will always try to remember the way you moved your lips
Against mine in the lonely bed
If I forget who you were then, I will lose what I am now
Forever and ever and ever and ever again

But I won't cry, no, I will survive the light of the sun as it enters me
Let it come right in, let the sun come in
Let the sun come in, let it come in
Let it come on it, let the sun come in
Let the sun come in, let it come in"

Thank you so much for listening to this very odd rambling segment. As always,
comments and feedback are deeply appreciated.

- Magus
 Singing in My Sleep
Chapter Notes

I've sort of betrayed a personal note I had on this series by making this chapter, but I
really like what I wrote so I think I've made the right choice. Anyways the chapter
coming either right after this or a couple more is one that has been in my drafts... Since
I published the first chapter I think? And one of my personal favorites and the start of
some serious developments for parts of the story. Hope you enjoy Reading.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

When Sunny took his first steps, Mari was as excited as her parents, watching her little brother
grow up right before her eyes. And when he made his first stumble, she was the one who caught
him before he landed face first on the ground. It's cliche to say, but it was that very moment where
she understood what it was like to be the older sibling. It was about encouraging and protecting her
little brother the best she could. About helping him in ways her parents couldn't. Being the person
he could talk to and trust to keep a secret.

She did her best to raise him alongside her parents. Of course her parents did the real legwork of
feeding him and caring for him, but Mari wanted to help in any way she could. She would help
carry him as an infant, and once he was old enough to walk she would always bring him to the park
with her to play. Once he was old enough, she'd sit him on her lap and start reading him stories.
Usually they were the stories she read as a kid but as she grew older she started reading him stuff
from her parents bookshelf. Sunny didn't understand alot of what she was saying when they read
"Dune", and they'd have to pause constantly to explain words, but it was time they both cherished
spending together.

But as you grow older, your responsibilities grow along with you. Not only to yourself, but to
your family, your friends, and yes, to the people you love. Her relationship with Hero was just as
precious to her as her family was. Especially because unlike them, they didn't have to be together,
they chose to be a pair. It was sweet, even their arguments she could look back on with a smile, a
simple roadbump on their winding journey together. Whether it would end with them together, or
with other people, those thoughts didn't matter.

Sparks didn't fly during her first meeting with Hero. In fact the first time she saw him she
thought he was a little Dim. Yeah yeah, she could be rude sometimes, she knows that deep down,
but she soon learned he wasn't stupid, he was simply too polite for his own good. And beneath that
he was quite the charmer, able to convince his dad to lend him some money for their first date
together. And as they grew older, she felt that love intensify. The way he always worried about her
when she came over to visit with Sunny. She still had her doubts of whether or not they would be
the ones for each other but they both knew they would care about each other for the rest of their
lives.

She adored the friends she and Sunny had made too. Kel could be a little too much on some
days, but that constant energy was a blessing in disguise on other days. She'd have to thank him
sometimes for being able to make her smile even when she felt utterly miserable. And she wasn't
the type who cared whether she was going to have a little brother or sister, But Aubrey really did
feel like the sister she never knew she wanted. And Basil was exactly the friend Sunny had always
needed. Someone who could intuit so much from him without much said between them, so much
so that it sometimes made her jealous. Spending time with them was a joy and was always the
highlight of her days.

Yet she can't help but feel the pressure rising as she goes back home. Her father, as sweet as he
can be, can't help but push her to do more at school. From Grades to Extra-curricular activities, he's
always involved in her academic life. Her mother, God bless her, can be pressuring in a different
sense. She always wants Mari to spend more time with the family, spend more time with her little
brother, making dinner with her, all those things she loves, but doesn't have the time for since she
wants to get into a good college like dad wants her to. It's like the two of them are pulling her in
both directions, and yet can't see each other on either side.

It's... It's exhausting.

It's so exhausting being the golden child. Being the one with so many expectations on your
shoulders. The one whose going to go places and do things her parents didn't have the opportunity
or skill to, in their eyes. But she was just a normal girl. She wasn't some divine being. She just did
her best to please others. In some ways that was her greatest strength... But in reality it was a
weakness that could lead to dizzying depths...

So when Sunny expressed interest in... Playing music with her. There was such a flood of
emotions at the thought. In the back of her mind she knew that sharing the load would be too much
for him. That placing the burden she put on herself could burn Sunny out on ever playing music
again... But she was overpowered by the joy of sharing Music with him. Of sharing the things she
loved. She adored letting Sunny listen to songs with her while she was studying or relaxing in their
room, and the joy of playing music, of creating music, was unlike any other.

It was a deeply personal form of expression, one that at times could transcend the boundary of
language and Culture in ways that even Traditional art could struggle with. But in that same breath,
it was also deeply personal. Every song, no matter how much it has changed, has the DNA of its
creator intertwined with its very existence. You can play "Life on Mars" in a million different styles
with a billion different artists, but David Bowie is always somewhere deep underneath it. And even
her short little pieces she had tried cooking up on her own were uniquely... Her.

So she caved. Now that he had a Violin, of course she wanted to share the joy of Music with her
brother, didn't she? The joy of playing and creating, of expressing yourself to others in a way that
didn't always need words. It could even help sunny with that stoic side of his, right? That's how she
felt at the time.

A God damn idiot, that's what she felt like now.

She pushed him so far and what did she have to show for it? Frustration towards someone she
loved, aggression over something so simple... she should have realized she was taking out her own
stress on him, and a trauma she can't help but blame herself for. She held her little brother in her
arms as he apologized for being so useless. She never used those words with him, but... She knew
her tone could lead him there. Another mistake. She should have taught him like a sibling, not like
her piano teacher did. She can handle the pressure of being "Professional", but he can't. She can't
put him through being on that stage when he's crying like this. And she won't. She won't let him
share the burden. She has to take it all for herself. That's what a good sibling would do. Right?

And that was her second mistake...

She recognizes it far too late. Rescheduling the Recital, and solo, just turned up the pressure.
And turned more eyes on her. Friends, Family, Schoolmates. The things some of them said... Of
how she wanted to hog the spotlight, and of her poor little brother... She couldn't dare tell them the
truth. She wouldn't dare betray Sunny's trust like that. She knows how kids in school would look at
him differently... And it would be her fault.

And by the time she tries to fix things they just begin crumbling around her. And then she starts
crumbling herself. She keeps up the front to everyone around her, because she can't burden them
like she did with Him. Her brother is doing better, she couldn't dare bring him down with her now...
Aubrey relies on her so... So much... She feels like it would be betray to dump all of this in her lap
and expect her to help fix this... Even Hero, so sweetly asking if she needs some help... She... She
can't do that to him.

She can't let anyone else carry the weight. She made this bed, so she has to lie in it. She made
this choice to handle everything herself. She has to do it. She must. She isn't perfect but God damn
if she can't make it look that way. She will get on that God Damn stage and blow everyone away.
She has to believe it. She has to keep trying. She has to keep playing even when it hurts.

And that was her third and final mistake.

Sunny's foot twitched as he sat in the chair next to his Mother. He wasn't nervous because of
what was happening, it was just that... The principal wasn't exactly the most welcoming looking
man. He was built like a bear, with a beard that made him look like one. And his voice sounded
like gravel being poured over Mud. Like every word he said stopped you in your place.

Sunny and his mother had finally taken their first step to enrolling Sunny in school again. It had
taken a bit to contact his former tutor and compile everything they could from his previous school
district.

"Well I don't see any reason with these test results. I don't mean to be rude Ms. Thompson, but
most children who are homeschooled don't end up with standardized test scores this high. But
considering your unique situation, it only makes sense you would have such a unique child." Renee
wanted to take offense to that, but she chose to hold her tongue instead giving him a mostly normal
smile.

"Well obviously he won't be able to join us for the current semester but as long as we get all the
paperwork dealt before winter break with I'm sure we can have him enrolled for next semester.
Again, thank you for coming to visit me." He said offering his hand Before Renee took it.

"... I... I was only a teacher back then but... I do want to give my condolences for what happened
to your daughter." He said standing up with a soft sigh.

"She was a great student and a wonderful leader... And she is sorely missed even by the staff."
He said. Renee softened her expression a little, although not completely

"... Thank you... Me and Sunny will be leaving for now then, you'll hear back from me once I
finish the paperwork..." She said before leading Sunny out of the office and to the car. Her pace
grew faster and faster, with Sunny struggling to keep up before she finally arrived at her car.

Sunny and her would sit in their seats for several seconds, before he jumped back as he watched
her slam her fist into the wheel.

"God! Damn! It!" She said, her frustration quickly waning as she slammed her fist down one last
time. Her breathing grew steady while sunny reached his hand over.

"... I'm... I'm so sorry baby..." She said, unclenching her jaw as she started breathing in and out in
an almost meditative manner.

"Umm... I know I'm not the best at this but... Can you tell me what's wrong?" He said, his voice
trembling just a little. He... He hasn't seen her be that angry since he came back.

"... It's just... When he called you Unique... I just don't trust when people use language like that
for people like us... with mental health issues... It always... Comes off... So God damn
condescending... And hearing that just made me mentally write him off as a piece of shit..." She
said before bringing her hands to her head.

"... But bringing up Mari like that... I... I just... God I don't know Sunny..." She said slumping in
her seat before he squeezed her hand tightly.

"... C-can I make us lunch t-today? You've been doing alot and... You could... Use some rest..."
He said as she turned her head, before laughing.

"God even you can see right through me hon... Yeah, you're right... I've just been stressing
myself out too much. C'mon, neither of us are gonna cook. Let's go out for lunch, that sound
good?" She said to which Sunny nodded.

"... How about that Diner on the other side of town? I've been meaning to go there since Kelsey's
mother recommended it to me. It's got really good fish and chips... I could use something nice and
warm right now... Maybe even some chowder with it..." She said already setting her sights on it in
her mind.

"... Sure." Sunny said before his mother smiled and started the car finally before finally pulling
out of the parking lot.

Sunny looked at the tiny menu handed to him with confusion, before he finally meekly voiced
his concern to the waiter.

"I'm uh... N-not a k-k-kid actually... I'm sixteen..." He said, before the waiter apologetically
grabbed another menu for him.

"Sorry about that, here's our regular menu. I'll give you both some time to decide, but would you
like any drinks first?" He said, as his mother looked at the drink section of the menu, giving Sunny
some time to flip to the back and do the same.

"Just a cup of coffee for me, two creams and one sugar. Sunny?" She asked sweetly, before he
set the menu down.

"... Orange Juice." He said, as the waiter nodded.

"Alright, I'll be back with your drinks in a minute." He said leaving the two of them alone again.

"You know, I'd expect there to be a few less people here around lunchtime. Most Diners are
usually busiest around morning time..." She said, before flipping through the Menu slowly as she
spoke.

"Any idea of what you want hon?"

"O-oh um... No not really... I uh... I like the look of this one?" He said, pointing on the menu to a
sandwich.
 "Oh that's a good one. Well if you let me have a bite you can have some of my fish." She said,
before clearing her throat.

"So. Sweetie. I want to hear your honest thoughts. I know we've been planning it but how do you
really feel about going back to school?" She said, as Sunny immediately tensed up. She put her
hand down on the table next to his, as he reached to grab hers and squeezed slowly, before working
his words out.

"... I'm nervous... I'm really nervous... I... I don't talk about it but... I... I hated going to school so
much there... I hated everything... I felt so miserable every day, and when I got home it wasn't
better... And... I... I'm still afraid it'll feel like that when I start going to school again... That nothing
will have changed..." He said, before he was now squeezing her palm for dear life as she sighed.

"Baby... Look at where we are. Not in the literal sense. I want you to think about where you are
in comparison to where you were back with your father... Did you have any friends at your old
school?" He shook his head, as she continued.

"Did you talk to your father about how you felt?" Another shake of the head.

"Did you feel like you were safe when you were at home?" And another shake.

"And do you feel the same now?" Sunny had to take a minute to realize the question... Before
shaking his head again. This time though, it made the both of them smile, just a little.

"See sweetie. It won't be the same because you're already in a different place. It might not be
enjoyable, but you have people who will make your life worth it." She said, before they finally got
their drinks. They'd both place their orders, Sunny trying his best to speak in a clear voice before
handing back their menus as Sunny began sipping from his glass.

"... You trust me Honey, don't you?" She asked, Sunny's brow raising before he nodded.

"... I... I trust you more than I trust myself... At least right now..."

"Alright sweetie... I just... I feel nervous sometimes... It's paranoia..." She said, as they shared a
look. Unspoken understanding before she drank from the mug of coffee she was given.

"Sweetie... I don't always make the right decisions... So if going back to school doesn't work out,
please don't hesitate to tell me... I know you want to be there... To be with your friends... But
suffering for the sake of others isn't... A good idea..." She said, as she held her mug tightly, trying
to relax with the warmth and smell of her coffee filling her senses.

"... I'll... I'll try..." He said, slightly off put by the serious tone the conversation suddenly took.
But he felt a palpable relief when she reached over to ruffle his hair, making him laugh just a little.

"Thanks Baby. I really hope you end up loving going to school with your friends. I want you to
have more time to spend with them." She said, before their food finally arrived, as the two of them
finally began to eat.

However, one thing drew Sunny's attention during that meal. As he turned his head slightly, he
noticed that outside, snow was beginning to fall. Even in the deepest months of winter, Snow had
never fallen in the city his father moved to. Just the cold chill of winter consuming life. But he
stared with almost unabashed excitement at the snowfall outside...

It was hard to make Sunny smile. Not as though he was emotionless. He just didn't express it the
 same as Mom and Dad did. Whilst mom easily internalized that fact, Dad had to repeatedly kick
himself to remember. But Mari always remembered the first time she saw Sunny truly smile.
Something bright and beautiful almost like his namesake.

She must have been... Around ten she thinks. It was right as the snowfall was the heaviest. Their
parents had to stay home from work as the roads were blanketed in sixteen inches of snow, a death
trap for anyone except the snowplow slowly inching down the road.

She helped Sunny wrap the Scarf around his neck before grabbing his hand as she lead him out.
The sun beaming down made the world look like pure white, almost entrancing. She trudged along
the way, as she and Sunny saw Kel and Hero finally making their way out of the door. Hero was
dressed mostly normally, but Kel looked like he had barely bundled up even a little bit just a long
sleeve shirt and actual pants, although his mom did convince him to wear gloves and a hat.

Basil and Aubrey were already waiting on the corner, Aubrey coming in for a hug which Mari,
of course would reciprocate in the warmest way she could, While Basil made his beeline to Sunny,
the two of them chatting it up in a way that made it almost feel less one sided than it really was.

Today they were going to the park to build Snowmen, and Basil was going to take a picture of all
their finished products. Everyone was teamed up in Pairs. Aubrey would build with Mari, Kel and
Hero together, With Basil and Sunny being the last team. They didn't know how they came up with
these pairings, but they seemed the fairest possibilities they could think of.

Kel and Hero's was frankly... A mess. Hero had Skill but lacked a certain creativity, While Kel...
Credit where credit is due for using a broken baseball bat he found in the trash as the hands, but it
was so uneven and wonky that it was a shock it was still standing by the time basil went to take his
pictures.

Mari and Aubrey's was better but it was still a little wrong. While theirs was Cuter, Aubrey tried
too hard to make it Bigger than Kel's, and they couldn't actually put a hat on it like they had
planned, instead choosing to hang it off one of the arms.

Sunny and Basil... Everyone was shocked to see theirs. Sunny went above and Beyond, instead
of simply creating a standing snowman, he instead cleared off a bench nearby to make his own sit,
having the lowest ball sit just off the bench while the other two sat on the bench itself giving it the
illusion of a snowman relaxing on his break, the head turned and looking off wistfully into the
distance.

The two of them had won single handedly, and as the rest of the group cheered, Basil would hug
Sunny with all his might, as Mari, who was on Camera duty for their Snowman, took a picture of
the brightest Smile she had ever seen on Sunny's face.

Chapter End Notes

Music Notes:

The Title of This Chapter is taken from The Chills 1990 Album, "Submarine Bells"

Australia and New Zealand are a sadly unsung hero of eighties music for the most
part. Plenty of exciting and well loved bands were born during this period but we in
America only get the greatest hits. Midnight Oil, INXS, Crowded House (But only the
first album), and never truly get to plumb the depths of their unique sounds. One of
which is the Dunedin sound, a college town in New Zealand which was host to its own
smattering of Jangle Pop bands, mostly out of the record label Flying Nun, which
housed plenty of early Singles and compilation EP's by the bands in that area. One of
the most Notable is The Chills, mostly the brainchild of its lead singer Martin Phillips,
who is the only constant member in the groups almost 40 year history. Submarine
Bells is the groups second album and their most refined, where they begin to string
tracks together smoother, creating a sound that still feels consistent while not being
afraid to change up the pace so that the listening experience isn't stale.

I chose this title mostly because of a single line.

"Singing in my sleep, a stinging reproach against violence. Hoping to cope with the
pressures of musical life."

I had already been itching to potentially line up a chapter title for the chills since
discovering them, and I felt as though that line could be tied in with the events
surrounding the recital. Trying to escape the pressure of it. I don't know quite how
well it worked but I think I made something fitting for it.

Thank you so much for reading. Comments and feedback both about the fic and about
music are always appreciated.

- Magus
 Box of Happy Memories
Chapter Notes

Here it is. A chapter I've been basically saving for months now. And one I'm still
proud of, although I haven't done many rewrites since I made it. I hope you enjoy it
just as much as I have.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Sunny was having a hard time going to sleep. It wasn't anything bad, just a restlessness deep
inside that was rearing its ugly head at the worst time. He clung to his stuffed Cat as the pale
moonlight just barely creeped through the blinds of his window. He sighed. He wasn't going to get
any sleep tonight was he?

After another 30 minutes of tossing and Turning, Sunny finally relented and slid out of bed, still
clutching his plush cat while he walked downstairs slowly. The house was... It was scary this late
at night. He was just going to get a drunk though. A quick drunk of water was what he needed right
now.

Sunny's free hand clung to the banister as he walked down to the ground floor. His knuckles
were white by the time he was finally downstairs. It'll be okay, he said to himself. Just take deep
breaths. Deep breaths.

'It's not as scary as you think'

He used to cry whenever he thought about those words, but... He felt a comfort from them again.
She was right. It wasn't that scary. It was his home. Nothing bad would happen. It would be okay.

The kitchen was hard to navigate when it was dark, but for some reason, he didn't want to turn
on the lights right now. Instead, he opened the fridge just enough to let the light from inside
illuminate the room. He'd go through the cupboards to find a large glass, before finally setting the
cat aside as he filled it in the sink.

He'd soon plant himself on the couch for now, laying his plushie on his lap as he drank. The
restlessness was less prevalent, but it still felt like his poor body would refuse to let him rest. His
mind and his body didn't like eachother. He knew that. He could tell from the way his body
screamed at him while his mind urged him forward whenever he'd start cut-

He guzzled down more water now, shaking himself away from those thoughts for now as he
stared up at the dark ceiling. He wondered how his friends were doing right now. He would pull
out his phone and consider texting Basil, but the time was far too late for that. He wouldn't wanna
wake up any of his friends just because of his own poor sleep schedule.

Maybe if he can't get to sleep he could listen to some music instead. Lay down on the couch and
let the sounds take control, yeah, that sounds good. Maybe he should listen to one of those new
albums he bought on his trip to the mall? Or maybe he... No trying one of Mari's albums right now
would probably just make him more emotionally unstable than usual.

Minutes passed as he laid back, his head resting against the back of the couch as he sighed.
Maybe he should try going back to sleep again. It must have been almost 11, he really needed to
get back to sleep. If this happens again, he'll probably have to talk to his mom ab-

A desperate banging on the door made sunny jump almost a foot into the air as he backed to the
far end of the couch immediately. Heart-rate rising. Eyes unfocused. Knuckles clenched.
Struggling to breathe properly.

Who? It was almost midnight? Who could it even be? He wondered as he felt his eyes watering.
The loud noise sent him Spiraling further and further while his ears began ringing, only able to
make out a subtle thump whenever they knocked.

The banging on the door continues as he began to cry. He just wanted to relax. He just... He just
needed to get some sleep. And now his heart was pounding out of his chest as he felt something
creeping up inside his head. He heard that voice. His voice.

He was a sniveling wreck as he clutched his plush cat for dear life. Please God, stop... Stop...
Stop knocking... He didn't even know what he was afraid of, only that he felt like he would die if
he dared got anywhere close to the door. Nothing good could come of it. Nothing. Nothing.

He squeezed it tighter as the knocking kept on going. Minute after minute. He was panting now.
God when would it stop. He was sobbing even harder. He just wanted it to stop. And it finally did.
He didn't even realize till a few minutes later, as his chest was still throbbing.

Sunny wanted to run upstairs, but his legs were still shaking. And one last time. There was a
knock. This one was less urgent. Just three spaced out taps, and then silence. He waited a minute.
Then nothing. Nothing. What?

Why would they do that? Who would just end it like that? It... His chest hurt as he pushed
himself to stand up. His mind was racing constantly. His fear was almost paralyzing, but... But...

"It's not... As scary... As you think..." He couldn't understand why those words came to him
how. His brain was screaming. It insisted that nothing good would come of this. But every other
part of his body was aligned, walking to the door as he unlocked it, clutching the handle. It might
be scary, but... Breathe in, and out. In, and out. In, and out. Before finally pulling it open.

The night was beautiful. The way the lawns and roads were blanketed by such a thick layer of
snow made it feel like he was in another world. The street lights quietly buzzing away as snow
kept gently falling. And sitting on the porch. Aubrey. Tears in her eyes. Carrying her backpack, and
a large cardboard box.

"... Aubrey? It's so late... Why are you outside?" He said, his eyes still red as she jumped from
shock.

"S-sunny! I thought you were asleep... Sorry... I would have bothered Kel but..." She said, trying
to put on a tough front so flimsy even Sunny could see through it.

"... Come on in..." He said, walking inside as Aubrey stammered, grabbing her 'luggage' as she
went inside the house, Sunny closing the door and locking it behind her. The two of them settled in
on the couch for now, Aubrey tossing her coat off as she rubbed her arms.

"... How long were you outside? It's so cold." He asked, as Aubrey rubbed her palms together
and blew on them, doing her best to warm herself up.

"Only an hour, I-it's fine." Sunny shook his head as he heard this.
 "Want something warm to drink? W-we have some hot chocolate, or some tea as well."

"Hot Chocolate sounds good... It is getting close to Christmas time." She said, as sunny set down
his plush as he went to the kitchen. He'd already turned on the downstairs lights when she came
inside, so he no longer had to leave the fridge open to illuminate the room. He poured a few cups of
milk into a pot and set it on the stove. Not exactly the most... Elegant. But it would work.

"Umm... Thanks Sunny... Sorry for intruding on you guys like this. I'm sure it must have been
quite the surprise to find me sitting on your porch huh?" She said, trying to sound like her usual
self. She was exhausted, and the way she laughed was half-hearted.

"It's no problem..." He said, standing in the kitchen as he watched the milk slowly boil. Once it
was sufficiently hot, he moved the pot off of the burner and grabbed two mugs. Filling them with
hot cocoa powder, he slowly poured milk into both of them, before grabbing a spoon from the
drawer to stir them up with.

"Thanks." She said, blowing on her mug of cocoa a little before taking a sip. Sunny sat down
beside her as he began drinking as well. He gave her a moment before finally opening the can of
worms he was sure this whole conversation would be.

"If you needed to come in, you could have called me..."

"... My phone is dead."

"... What happened?" He asked, as he stared at his mug.

"... What can I say? I got into a fight with my mom, and she decided that was it. I'm done. She
tossed all my stuff out into the yard and told me to never come back." She said, a deep sigh
permeating the air as she drank again.

"Don't worry, she's tried kicking me out before, I'll just wait a few days then she'll forget. This is
just the first time she's bothered throwing my stuff out along with me... The least she could have
done is leave Bunbun alone, poor little thing."

"Bunbun?" Sunny asked, which lit up a small spark of Joy in her face as she pulled back the
blanket covering her box. On top of her pillow was a small white bunny, sleeping quietly.

"I got him a few years ago. Kim actually helped me with getting him set up... But my mom just
tossed the cage out into the street... Poor little baby didn't deserve to get woken up like that..." She
said, gently scratching behind his ears.

"... Bunbun... He's cute..." Sunny said, smiling a little as Aubrey pulled the blanket back over.

"Anyways, is it okay if I crash here for the night? I won't be a bother, after this I'll go to Kim's if
she's got the space, if not I'm sure the church will be able to house me for a bit. The pastor
understands my situation." She said. Sunny immediately nodded, before he set his plush down and
went towards the stairs.

"And where are you going?"

"... Gonna wake up my Mom. She'll... She'll know what to do better than me. About your whole
situation."

"No Sunny, it's not necessary, I won't be a both-" He was already up the stairs before she even
finished. He quickly knocked on his mother's door, before she groggily opened it.
 "S-sweetie? It's almost midnight, W-what happened... And why are the lights on?" She said,
yawning as she stretched her arms.

"Um, I went to get a drink, but that's not important... I need your help... Come downstairs." He
said. His usual trembling voice was different, betraying the urgency he felt. Sunny's mother slowly
nodded. She was quite shocked to find Aubrey on their living room though, as she went over to
greet her.

"Oh Aubrey, you look so cold, what were you doing out so late at night?" She asked, sliding next
to her. Sunny hadn't said anything yet, just waiting for Aubrey to explain the story herself. And that
she did. Simple, straight, and to the point. Just like she did with Sunny.

Sunny's mother sat quietly, wringing her hands as she listened to Aubrey. The only time she
spoke was to ask questions.

"You said this has happened before, may I ask when was the first time?"

"I think around a year after my dad left..." She said, as Sunny's mother only nodded along. But
from the way she dug her thumb against her other hand, Sunny could tell how she felt. Frustrated.
Angry. Empathetic. She let Aubrey continue for awhile longer, explaining what the argument was
about that night.

"It wasn't even anything major. I just complained about her beer bottles on the floor cause I
knocked one over... And then we just kept arguing. And then I just finally snapped... I finally told
her how... How much I hate what she's become... And then she just tossed me out. Kicked me out
the front door and tossed my shit into the snow..." Sunny's Mother relaxed her grip on her hand, but
her eyes remained focused.

"... So I just need a place to stay for the night. I would have gone to Kel's, but I've already
imposed on them so much... And Sally is always so scared of me, I didn't feel comfortable staying
there right now. And Polly has already taken so much time out of her day to help me already,
there's no way I could ask for more from her and Basil... So if I can just crash on your couch for
tonight, I-"

"You're staying." Sunny's mother said bluntly.

"...Yeah for a night, then I'll just see if the pastor can help me, he-"

"No, sweetie. You are staying here... I knew your mother wasn't a good parent to you but to this
degree... Hon, that's more than just being neglectful. That's abuse. I should have done something
sooner, but I was solely focused on Sunny... I'm sorry for taking this long."

"I recognize that it's abusive, but this is my problem, you two have your own to deal with!
Besides, You're his mother, of course he should come first!"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I am not at fault for failing to recognize the signs and offering help.
I'm sorry." She said, before leaning over and hugging Aubrey. The girl stammered and tried to
argue.

"N-no it's fine, just stop apologizing, it just happens sometimes, if I just stay out of her sight for
a little bit I'll b-" She said, her face going red as she tried her damnedest to break free.

"Aubrey. It's okay. You're a strong girl you know that, but that doesn't mean that solving
everything on your own is going to be possible. Relying on others doesn't make you weak, it
doesn't make you lesser." She said as Aubrey tensed up.
 "N-no, I can handle this on my own, you don't need to go out of you-" Her voice was less
assured of her words. Like she had repeated this so many times before, but something was different
now.

"I'm sure you can sweetie, but I don't want you to handle this on your own, not anymore. And
I'm sure your friends don't want you to either. They want you to rely on them as much as they rely
on you." She said, before gesturing for Sunny to come closer. Sunny could tell what is mother had
planned... And well, he felt like it was the right choice too.

Aubrey's protests died in her throat as Sunny wrapped his arms around her as well. Embraced
between the two of them, she felt the will to push them away break.

"Aubrey. You're staying. As long as you want." She said, before Aubrey felt something pushing
up from her throat. A deep wail. She buried herself into Ms. Thompson's grasp and breathed
heavily.

"... Why?" was all Aubrey could muster from her throat as Sunny could feel her shake with
every choked down sob.

"Because you deserve to. That good enough?" She said, as Aubrey stayed in their arms for now.
Too many words could be said, so for once, Aubrey didn't try to put her emotions to words, she just
let the feelings wash over her.

Sunny and his mother scrounged together as much bedding as they could from the storage room
downstairs, before coming back to the living room. Aubrey was cuddling Bunbun in her arms as
they walked in.

"Do you need a cage for him sweetheart?"

"I had one but... It got messed up when she threw it out the front door."

"Alright. Tomorrow we can stop by the mall and see if we can't find one."

"... I have all the bedding and food for him, so you won't have to buy that..." She said with a light
smile. Ms. Thompson couldn't help but return it.

"How thoughtful. Well don't worry, we're gonna be providing plenty for you anyways... And
aside from that, we're gonna have to figure out a better sleeping arrangement for you later. I've
crashed on the couch a few times and it's not the most comfortable way to sleep."

"... So I'm really just... Here now?" She said, to which Sunny's mother nodded.

"... I'm glad you're here." Sunny said, lining the couch with pillows as he spoke. After... After so
long he finally got to be there for one of his friends.

"... It wouldn't feel right..." He muttered to himself. His voice was quiet. Aubrey silently nodded
with him. The mood shifted just slightly. She scratched the back of Bunbun's ears before she spoke
again.

"What... What will happen if... My mother tries to force me..."

"You don't need to worry about that. I can handle that all myself... I've spent four years dealing
with the courts, a woman like her has nothing on me." His mother said, with grim chuckle. Sunny
couldn't help but laugh a little as well. This must be like child's play compared to his father.
 "... Thanks Ms. Thompson."

"You can call me Renee Hon, it's okay." She said, as Aubrey tensed up a little before breathing
again.

"Alright... Renee, thank you for doing all this for me. And you too Sunny." She said, as Sunny
did his best to hide his flushed cheeks from her. God why was he thinking about it now? This was
a serious situation, he shouldn't be thinking about her that w-

"Well, it's getting late Hon. I'm gonna talk to Kel's mother about this tomorrow, she knows some
people in the school district so they can help handle any paperwork if you need to take dome time
off." She said, before she walked upstairs.

"Make sure to get some sleep soon you two, but for now you can hang out down here." She
turned back and said just before dissapearing for the night. Sunny sat with Aubrey on the couch for
awhile, the two of them taking in the strange situation in full.

"... Out of all the solutions I imagined I didn't think she'd end up with this." Sunny said, giggling
a little. It really was like his Mom to go out of her way and meddle like this. He should have seen it
coming but... It honestly made him happy to be this surprised.

"Neither did I... Hey, Sunny? Thanks for opening the door." She said as Sunny clenched his
hands and looked away. Guilt cast across his deep-set Grey eyes, still framed in red.

"I... I almost didn't... When I heard you knocking I didn't know so... I got... I got scared..." He
said. God what would have happened if he hadn't opened the door? What would Aubrey have
done? He should have opened it sooner...

"But you did it anyways... Even if you didn't mean to, you still put aside everything you were
feeling for me... You're special." She said, reaching over and pulling Sunny against her, letting him
lean on her shoulder as she rubbed his arm.

"So keep being yourself Sunny. You're someone the world could use more of." She said as
Sunny felt his heart racing. The comfort of her hand gently rubbing him was like a dream.

"... Sure..." Was all he could say as he scrunched up, trying to hide his face from her. Soon, she'd
let him go... But Sunny, allowing this selfish indulgence for once, would stay leaning against her
for awhile. He was embarrassed, but... This was nice. Being so close to her.

Sunny eventually pulled himself away, getting off the couch as he'd give Aubrey a quick good
night as he made his way upstairs, plush back in his grasp as he finally felt the reality start to hit
him. He tried to quell these feelings but the damn was already broken now.

Aubrey. He loved Aubrey. Not in the way he loved Kel, Hero, His mother, or... No, Basil also fit
neatly into this category too. That soft head of blonde hair he wished he could run his fingers
through. The way her hands could hold him so tightly, yet made him feel safe. He ran up the stairs
and shut the door behind him as he felt his mind race.

He'd put off these feelings for too long. And now, with The two of them so much closer than
before... He'd finally have to confront the deeply rooted desire... The urge to be more important to
them than just their friend... But there were two of them... And Sunny was only one boy... He
pressed his back against the door and slid down onto the floor.

He loved Aubrey. He loved Basil. Two people who he dreamt about day in and day out. Their
voices a symphony built across the last four years of his dreams. Their faces, their smiles, their
beautiful eyes popping into his thoughts whenever he least expected. These feelings from
childhood never faded. Instead they intensified. Somedays it felt like the blossoming of a new life.
Other days it felt like a festering wound he'd never be rid of. But that didn't change what these
feelings were. He loved them more than anything. He would do anything to make them happy...

But what was he supposed to do with his feelings for the other if he had to choose one of them?

Social exhaustion was the perfect remedy to restlessness, Sunny learned last night. The sheer
emotional burden last night had placed on him was enough that even with... These feelings tucked
deep inside himself, he couldn't stay up much longer before his body finally caved in and passed
out.

Sunny slowly dragged himself out of bed. He checked the Alarm on his bedside table. 6AM...
He really hadn't gotten much sleep. It was a start though. It was the Weekend, so his mother would
be home for today. Maybe breakfast with the tw- Wait. No. It was three now. Aubrey was
probably already awake too, considering what happened last night. Sunny would take his morning
shower and brush his teeth before finally walking downstairs.

His mother was already up but Aubrey was fast asleep, Bunbun cradled in her arms. Heh. Cute.
Sunny buried the thoughts again as he walked into the kitchen with his mother.

"Well you're up early. Did you at least get some sleep?" She asked, to which Sunny nodded.

"I passed out immediately after I got in bed."

"Well that's some sleep at least. I don't blame you... And I'm glad you were able to be there for
her sweetie." She said, as they both shot a look to check if she was awake yet.

"What are you making this morning?"

"Just some Omelettes. Figured I'd keep things simple since I'm cooking for three now." She said
as the both of them yawned one after the other.

"You look like you could use some coffee."

"Yeah... Can I?"

"Sure sweetie. Cream is in the fridge, sugar is on the first shelf in the cabinet right to the left of
the sink." She said, as Sunny grabbed a mug for himself. He still wasn't the biggest fan of coffee,
but it definitely helped keep him out of his dreams and in the real world.

Once he'd finished pouring the cream, he grabbed a spoon from the drawer and stirred it all
together. He'd seat himself at the edge of the couch, sipping his drink as Aubrey slept soundly.
However, Bunbun was already awake and excited, squirming in her grip as she finally woke up.

"... O-oh come on Bunbun... Just a couple more minutes... I was having a good dream..." She
said, yawning as she finally set Bunbun back in the box for now, as he hopped back onto the couch
immediately.

"Fine you little rascal, C'mere!" She said, scratching right around his ears again before she
finally noticed Sunny sitting next to her, drinking coffee. Something was odd about the way she
looked at him for a moment. Like an uncertainty... Sunny just barely registered it before it
dissipated.
 "Well good morning to you too, weren't you gonna say anything?"

"... You know I'm not good at saying things."

"That's the joke dummy." She said, pulling her blanket off as she stretched her arms up.

"Anyways... Good morning Sunny... Man this is gonna be weird..."

"... Weird doesn't mean bad right?"

"Of course not, I just mean actually having someone to talk to at home that won't just ignore me
for her next episode of Cold case files." She said before she finally picked up her box.

"Ms Th- Renee, where's the laundry room?"

"Up the stairs, Sunny can show you." She said, as Sunny set his cup down. The two of them
headed upstairs, showing the closet where the washer and dryer sat on top of eachother. Aubrey
immediately dumped most of her laundry into the washer, pouring a thick scoop of detergent on
them before closing the door and setting it for a standard wash.

"So, what are we having for breakfast this morning?"

"My moms making some Omelettes. Sorry if you were expecting anything fancy."

"Dude I subsisted on pop tarts before school for like a year. I only get good food when I stop by
Kel's, Kim's, or hell even The Maverick's house. Having anything real for breakfast is a nice
change of pace."

"... It really is. I used to eat Chinese food leftovers for most of my morning meals. Although
some days morning for me was about 2 PM."

"Yeah well now your mom and Hero are helping you get all self sufficient and shit... but that
doesn't mean you'll stop being the baby of our group!" She said, sliding her hand over his shoulder
and grinning.

Sunny and his new housemate would get back downstairs as his mother finished playing up
Omelettes for all of them. Aubrey put her hair up in a pony tail before she would dig in with the
rest of them.

"Hey Aubrey, you remember the Storage Room downstairs right?" Sunny's mother asked a few
minutes into their meal.

"Yeah, that's the one on the opposite end of the practice room."

"Well, since we finally cleared out most of the storage recently... It has enough space and we can
install some more lights... Would you like us to make it into a guest room for you while you stay?"
She said, as Aubrey nearly dropped her fork onto the floor.

"Ms. Thomp- Renee, I know you want to help me, and I really do appreciate everything you're
doing for me, but that... That's just too much. Like, you're already offering me a place to sleep, and
now you're going out of your way to make me a bedroom? What next am I gonna be in your family
photos too?"

"Like I said, it's a guest room. It'll just be yours as long as you want to stay. Besides... This
house could use a little more change." She said as she looked at the walls. Where there used to be a
 family photo, instead it sat completely bare...

"... Well... I would like my own room to be honest..." She said, as she couldn't argue with
Sunny's mother at that point.

"Of course honey... We'll handle that soon..." She said, as they finished their breakfast. Aubrey
insisted on cleaning the dishes for them, so Sunny and his mother sat on the couch while they
watched TV.

Sunny cuddled up on the couch, and as Aubrey finished up with the dishes, she slid in next to
him, ending up leaned against his shoulder. Sunny scooted a little closer. He didn't know if he
could ever admit how he felt for her, so for now he was content with simply being close to her.

Chapter End Notes

Music Notes:

The Title of This Chapter is taken from Adrian Borland & The Citizens 1992 Album,
"Brittle Heaven"

The Title fits more than the lyrical content in this case, but as it was getting colder and
colder around the time I thought up this chapter, you can see how I'd come up with the
main image from it. Aubrey, sitting on Sunny's doorstep, holding back tears as the
snow keeps piling up around her. I didn't have any plans for what I'd do with that
scene, but I think I came up with something fun and especially nice.

Now onto the actual music, Adrian Borland is, again, an unsung hero within 80's
music. Formed one of the earlier punk bands the Outsiders, who have the Honor of
releasing the first truly Independent UK Punk LP, Frontman of Post Punk outfit "The
Sound", who lasted for seven years. Alongside the Sound he also formed the
experimental electronic outfit "Second Layer" who produced some fittingly unsettling
tunes, and a single EP from the band "The Witch Trials", Featuring the Lead Singer of
Dead Kennedy's, in what he described as "The most evil band I've ever been involved
in."

However it's after the Demise of the sound where we find his Solo career begins, with
the Citizens as his backing band. Their sound evolved further from the sound into the
territory of Indie Rock. Focusing less on many of the predominant sounds they had
found in the 80's and instead implementing more string sections alongside a softer tone
in general.

Brittle Heaven is by far my favorite of the two, reimplimenting the energy he had in
the sound, whereas I feel Alexandria went a little too soft for my tastes. The Song used
for this chapter tells the story of someone begging to not be forgotten, even when
they've become someone far different than what this person remembers. This can be
related to Aubrey's mother, but I don't quite intend that as it is very clear from the way
I've written her that she, at least at the moment, shows no remorse or regret for what
she has become.

Thank you very much for reading.

- Magus
 Camera Full of Kisses
Chapter Notes

Bit of a shorter chapter today. Just started having trouble continuing it around the
latter half/last third or so. I am proud of my first half though, I think I did fairly well
with Basil and Aubrey and their friendship. If I ever consider doing a big rewrite of
this I wanna have way more scenes with them interacting. I adore the ways they
bounce off eachother in my head, so putting it to page is a treat. Hope you enjoy
reading

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"... So she basically told me I live here now. Like I didn't even get to decide before she started
clearing out a room for me." Basil almost dropped his phone, scrambling to keep it from hitting the
floor as he brought it back up to his ear. He could already hear Aubrey chuckling on the other end,
his cheeks going red.

"S-sorry, I um... I was just a little surprised." Surprised wasn't the first word that came to his
mind. Shocked was a little more appropriate... And jealous too. Of course he'd be jealous that she
got to spend her whole day with Sunny if she wanted to...

"Yeah you're telling me, I just thought I'd be crashing on his couch for the night... Not that I'd be
his housemate... I texted Kim about it earlier and you would not believe how big a deal she made
about it." She said, laying back on the cot they had set up in the former storage room for now.

"It is a big deal! Like... For alot of reasons, you know... But I think it's really good for you! You
deserve it..."

"I know you're happy but you don't sound too excited, what's wrong?" She asked. Anyone could
see right through him in this state, but especially Aubrey. She just had to hear the pauses in his
words to know he was...

"Y-yeah, sorry I'm... I'm just being paranoid about um... Sunny... And..."

"Oh I know what you're thinking. Don't worry, our truce is still in place okay? Just cause I'm
closer to him doesn't mean I'm gonna make a move or something you hear? I'm not stupid... He
needs more time to himself before either of us start... You know... Opening up about that..." Basil
took a deep breath. He felt guilty for being that worried about it, but he just couldn't put the
thought out of his mind. He knew he could trust her, but the thought of it always snuck into the
back of his mind. He was glad Aubrey was so understanding of him...

"I know... But we promised right? We need to both be there when we talk... And whatever
happens, we all stay friends okay? No hard feelings." He said. He knew it would be hard to keep
the promise... For more reasons than just potentially being rejected...

"Dude I wouldn't stop being your friend even if you begged me to leave you alone. You'd have
to drag me away kicking and screaming. Probably biting too."

"In some states that would constitute Harassment."

 "Oh shut up. Anyways, we still up for hanging out later?"

"I wanted to, but I figured you might still want some time to yourself... Or to monopolize your
new Roommate."

"Nah dude, you're just as important to me as Sunny. Get that through your thick skull already,
okay blondie? Anyways, I've gotta get off the phone and Help Ms. T- Renee do the dishes since
sunny is busy taking a shower. Come over here around six or so. Love you."

"Love you too Aubrey. Bye bye." He said, hanging up the call as he looked at his camera. His
Polaroid camera sat on his shelf, but the one his parents had sent him for Christmas two years back
now sat on his desk. He had been trying to get back into it ever since... Ever since Sunny left. Ever
since his group of friends had almost disintegrated in a single night. On a corkboard in his room sat
the few photographs he had properly taken since then. Only a dozen or so moments since Mari had
left this world.

The first one was of course, the first time him and Aubrey went out on one of her adventures. He
hadn't been introduced to her hooligans yet, so she lead him solo. She called it a date, mostly just to
get a rise out of him. And it really did. He was stammering his order at Gino's while Aubrey held
back her laughter. It wasn't until they sat down that he finally calmed himself a little. The first
photo was of Aubrey mid bite, eyes wide as she caught the flash of Basil's aging polaroid camera...

Next to it was the first time the three of them had hung out after Basil had helped the two of
them patch things up between them. Kel tried to act like they had squashed all their beefs but they
could all tell it wouldn't be the same as before. The balance wasn't right. There was no quiet Sunny
to help make Basil open up more, no Level Headed Hero to balance out Kel's almost manic amount
of energy... And no Mari to help Temper Aubrey's mean streak... It was, in essence, something
completely new to the three of them.

Kel's dad drove them to the mall in Dagger Beach to hang out, although he let the three of them
wander the mall together with the caveat that they would all meet in the food court in a couple
hours.

Aubrey was especially quiet that day... He couldn't blame her. Kel had said some things about
her during their fights... But she had almost always initiated the physical side of it, punching,
kicking... Kel always acted like it wasn't a big deal, but he had seen some of the bruises they had
left on eachother... One time he'd even had to get an ice pack from Polly's emergency kit in the
kitchen to stop the swelling around Aubrey's eye.

The two of them had went into the music store at the mall, mostly by Basil's suggestion. Polly
has bought him a CD player for his birthday that year so he wanted to use some of the money he
had to buy something... But he ended up paying more attention to Aubrey and Kel than the music.
The two of them had started on opposite ends of the store, flipping through the CD's until they
finally met around the same section.

They had some argument over nothing. Perhaps it was Aubrey's taste in Music, or Kel's
insistence on trying to pay for her, but whatever the case, Basil of course worried himself sick
about all the progress they had made falling out the window from just one little argument.

Until Kel cracked a joke and Aubrey gave him a, while still firm and fast, relatively light tap on
the shoulder, a smile forming on her face too. Basil still had his Polaroid on him at that time, so he
brought it up with a quick snap. Aubrey laughing, while Kel rubbed his arm with a wince, but still
kept a bright smile on his own face.
 He felt a little guilty how much he treasured Aubrey and the time he spent with her. She had
become his anchor these past four years. Whenever he felt overwhelmed, like his entire world was
crumbling, when walls started closing in on himself... She was there with some firm words, a
comforting embrace, or a couple times, a slap to the face to get him out of his own head. She had a
way with words even if she often accentuated it with some colorful language that the teachers at
school tried to pull her aside for.

They were... Well not really rivals but... He knew the both of them had their eyes on the same
person... It's not a problem with a simple solution. Especially for him. He never liked stepping on
anyone's toes. Always the most passive of the group. Nowadays he was actively fighting against it.
Always trying to speak his mind. Some of her influence obviously, But it was also the realization
that if he wanted to say to Sunny how he truly felt, he'd have to make the effort to speak up.

Ironic considering he wasn't speaking up about his feelings for someone else. Of course not.
That would just make an already complicated situation so much worse. He wasn't going to tell her a
word... No, he'd have to live with the reality of things. There wasn't a way he could be with the
both of them. If that was how it had to be... Then so be it.

Basil took a long sigh before grabbing his camera bag. Another gift from his parents. For once
them always being a few years out of date on his interests was a benefit, as this fancy new film
camera was what got him truly back into taking pictures. It wasn't as fun as the old one giving you
the instant gratification of a photo, but it gave him more control over how the photos would end
up.

In a way it reflected how much he had changed. He wasn't just going to look on the bright side
of things. Be a passive observer. He wanted to make things brighter and better. He wanted to fight
for himself for once. And if he had to make a few mistakes to get there... Well he could live with
that. Aubrey had made plenty of mistakes. They all had. But they were still together. Because they
had all fought for it. And he wasn't going to stop fighting now that they were truly back together.

Basil laughed at himself. Was he really this nervous? He'd been here before. Several times in the
last month in fact. And yet it still felt so alien to be back at Sunny's house. He knew the reason. It
was probably the reason none of them had gone out to the backyard yet. Everyone remembered it
too well. Even though the rest of them hadn't been there to see her like him and Sunny had... They
still knew.

He shook his head, before slapping both his cheeks. He needed to get out of his own head. It
wouldn't do him any good like that. He'd learned that lesson one too many times before. And
thankfully he'd have good excuse to be outside his own mind once he calmed himself down.

Three deep breaths was what it took. In and out. In and out. In and out. Before he finally knocked
on the door. It'll be okay. There's nothing to worry about. You're safe. You're safe.

"Hello Th- Oh it's just you Basil, come to visit?" Sunny's mother asked. Oh great. He was soooo
good at dealing with her. It could be worse. She was sweet it just... It was hard to talk to her
normally...

"Y-yeah, Aubrey said I should be here around six or so and it should be that time right?"

"Oh, did Aubrey already tell you about what happened? Well that saves me some explanation.
They're hanging out in her room-"

"She has a room already?" Basil said with a little bit of surprise... And a slight bit of relief.
There was a mild paranoia that the two of them would have to share a bedroom and... No, no, he
pushed those thoughts down. He didn't need to get red in the face about them right now.

"Mmhmm, old storage room, we'll be making it more of a proper bedroom soon, painting the
walls too I hope... But for now we're making it cozy for her. Anyways, I shouldn't be holding you
up any longer Basil. Get to your pals already, I'll call you all when I'm making dinner, okay?" She
said, pushing him from the back towards the hallway as she went back up the stairs.

Basil stared for a moment at the practice room again. It felt strange. The pressure he always felt
when he looked there was less apparent... More muted. Like the dull ache of a scar... Or the distant
pain of a broken heart...

He knocked on the door to the storage area, which felt deeply foreign to him, before Aubrey
finally opened the door, giving him a deep hug.

"Welcome to Casa De... No that joke isn't funny let's just abandon that line of thought before I
embarrass myself." She said, letting him inside her room. The space was rather cozy, with a cot
against the wall, some posters adorning the wall, and a cage with a-

"Oh Bunbun!" Basil said excitedly, crouching down in front of the cage next to Sunny, who was
eagerly watching Aubrey's pet bunny lounge about.

"Jeez, I invite you both to my new room and you're more interested in hanging out with my
rabbit than with me!" Aubrey said, giving an exaggerated huff before Sunny turned his head
slightly.

"... You can join us, he's your bunny after all..." He said before turning his head to focus on
bunbun. Almost immediately, Aubery would squat down on the other side of Sunny, the trio of
them watching him happily munch on a strawberry Aubrey had left for him in his cage.

"... S-sorry if I'm interrupting your time to h-hang out together... Basil told me you guys spend
alot of time together so... I don't know if I should be down here for now..." Sunny started saying, as
he would slowly try to get up. Aubrey immediately grabbed his hand and pulled him back down to
the floor.

"Nope, not happening. You aren't making an excuse for not spending time with us Sunny, you
got that? Besides, now that I don't have to always impose on Polly and him when we hang out, I'm
probably gonna invite basil over more than I used to." She said, eliciting a look of surprise from the
blonde.

"You were never imposing! Is that why you kept insisting on only visiting every couple weeks?"
Basil said, almost exasperated at Aubrey's gall. She was so much more to him than a friend, and to
think she felt like she wasn't welcome in his home.

"No I know I'm not, I just... I don't feel comfortable relying on you so much Basil, or anyone!"
She said before pinching the bridge of her nose.

"... I know it's a problem... I try to work on it just... Don't blame me if I still feel... Awkward
about it... It's just hard to get used to... To asking for help like that... Or even accepting it when I
can't do anything myself..." Basil nodded, before giving her a smile.

"Well, now that you're here, you'll have people who will make you rely on them... I hope you'll
do the same for me at least." He said before he felt the mood shift... That sounded a little too... His
cheeks flushed as he tried to change the subject.
 "... So um... This room is nicer than I thought it would be... N-not that I meant it would be bad or
anything I just didn't expect it to feel this... Cozy..." Basil stammered out as he looked around the
room. There was only one light in the center of the room, with a small pull string. However there
was an array of string lights adorning the upper walls, and a lamp sitting on the desk next to
Aubrey's cot. The room actually felt very natural considering it has only been a storage room a
short while ago.

"That's all Sunny's M- Renee. God I'm never going to get fucking used to that am I? She insisted
on all going the extra mile. Honestly I would have been fine living in a Grey box with a blanket as
my bed but... She's been really nice... And sweet... And asking me about how I feel... And... And
what I want for breakfast... And how my D-day has been..." Basil could tell without even looking
that Aubrey was starting to tear up.

"A-and calling m-me family and I just... I just... God..." Basil took a deep breath before he put an
arm over her shoulder, quietly speaking as he comforted her. No one in the room spoke, as Aubrey
recomposed herself.

"... God damn it... I don't like crying that much... I know, I know, it's healthy to let your
emotions out just... Fuck I feel so embarrassed." She said, her voice still a little shaky, but quickly
blinking back the tears.

"... I'm glad you're here... I um... I didn't know about your situation that well, but... It's scary
knowing that you could have just been out there alone the whole night..." Sunny said, with a quiet
voice.

"... I would have probably caved in and asked Kel to crash for the night... Wait... Shit... I
probably should message Kel. He's definitely going to be worried since I wasn't at school today."

"You didn't skip did you?"

"No basil, Renee called the school and said she would come by later and talk to them about...
Dealing with this."

"O-oh, yeah that makes sense..." Basil said as Aubrey pulled out her phone and started texting
Kel. There was still a nervous edge to their interactions today, but it was dulled enough to keep
their conversations from stagnating.

That was fine enough for now.

Basil laid back on his bed. There's a certain kind of Melancholy you reach, being alone after
hanging out with people you love. You start reconsidering and reviewing every single thing you
said and did. Kicking yourself for the dumb mistakes you made and chastising yourself even for
the good decisions you made, as it never feels like enough.

Not to mention... That bubbling Jealousy and that feeling of abandonment... He knew he'd feel
jealous about Aubrey... But it hurt feeling jealous that Sunny got to spend so much time with her
now... She wasn't his after all. She was her own person. That toxic slime creeping in his thoughts
grew more and more diseased with every passing second.

He needed to get these feelings off his chest. He had a few options.

1) Telling Polly

A good choice, but... Polly might not quite understand his feelings... Plus even though he trusts
 her... There's a fear she'd tell someone and his feelings would be out in the open now.

2) Telling Sunny

Unacceptable. For one, Basil isn't ready to tell Sunny how much he loves him. And Basil is sure
that Sunny wouldn't be ready to accept those feelings. Plus telling him about his feelings for
Aubrey would just potentially complicate any future they all had together.

3) Telling Aubrey

Better. But he still doesn't know how she'd react to knowing one of her closest friends felt that
way about her... He doesn't want to jeopardize the most important friendship he's had these past
four years. Plus even if he trusts Aubrey... He still doesn't know how she would look at him having
this... This romantic conflict within himself.

4) Telling Kel

Kel is mature enough that he'd understand at least some of Basil's issue, even if he didn't
understand how it felt to love more than one person... But Kel is loud, brash, and acts before
thinking. Basil could easily imagine him accidentally letting slip his feelings because that's just the
way he is. Bad at keeping a secret.

5)...

God he should have messaged him about this earlier. Basil grabbed his phone from his bedside
table. It was late but he was pretty sure it would be a little earlier where he was. He dialed the
Number.

"... Hey Hero, it's Basil... I... I need some advice..."

"... It's gonna be complicated... Will you be up for awhile?"

Chapter End Notes

Music Notes:

The Title of This Chapter is taken from Flipper's Guitar's 1990 Album, "Camera Talk"

Shibuya-Kei is a fascinating Genre. In essence it's a pastiche of various eclectic

genres, taking most heavily from bands like the beach Boys, alongside Jazz and
generally other elements of 60's American culture. Mostly forming through Shibhya
due to its high concentration of record stores selling both Japanese and
American/European imports, Shibuya-Kei is defined by having no one distinct sound.
Because it has such a wide array of influences, you'll often find bands creating
completely different vibes and sounds while still occupying a similar creative space.

Flipper's Guitar are one of the earliest bands in the genre, taking alot of influence from
European Jangle Pop bands like Aztec Camera, Orange Juice, Housemartins and the
like, alongside their own flair with electronic elements, and even elements of lounge
music/bossa Nova on some tracks. They're a joy to listen to and one of the two
members solo project, Cornelius continues the Shibuya-Kei style of an eclectic mix of
genres, this time with more of an influence from electronic music. (I haven't listened to
the other core members solo work yet, so I can't comment on its quality.)

I had this title sitting around as a potential one for obvious reasons. Like this is a title
worthy of its own fic honestly (And if anyone wants to steal it and use it for their own
fic I will read it the instant I see it). But out of all three of them, I always imagined
Basil being the most directly affectionate, at least when he allows himself to be. Some
earlier drafts of this story I had Basil and Aubrey's friendship be so deeply intimate
that it basically felt like there was no defined difference between them being friends
and them being partners. That sadly got scrapped as time went along, alongside some
of the darker aspects (such as more explicit mentions of Sunny Self Harming), but I do
hope I captured the genuine nature of their friendship.

Again, thank you so much for reading. I hope you all continue with me on this
journey.

- Magus
 (You Can Put Your) Shoes Under My Bed
Chapter Notes

This chapter was nothing but trouble to me, I definitely feel prouder of the former half
of this chapter than the latter. But I still think the latter half has some good ideas just
not as eloquently as I would have liked to present them. Anyways, hope you enjoy
reading.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

For most of her life, Aubrey hated waking up. Not because she disliked the mornings, or the sun
blinding her eyes through the curtains. No, it was because the people around her made mornings
miserable. Back when her dad was still around, she'd wake up to him and her mother arguing and
screaming at eachother again and again until she had to leave for school. They didn't get physical
often, but Aubrey would always run into her room when her mom started throwing things.

But she had good days too. Mostly because of her friends. She... She never could admit it, but
she loved her friends more than her family. She would do anything for them. And then her whole
life crumbled. Everything just fucking snapped. Mari was dead. Sunny was gone. Basil had locked
himself in his house, and so did Hero. Kel couldn't even bother to talk to her. And to top it all off,
her mother's behavior at Mari's funeral had been the last straw for her dad. One day he was packing
his suitcase and the next he was out of her life.

She didn't hold as much resentment for him as she should... Just because she could tell why he
left. She had to live with that reason 24/7. Her mother just got worse and worse without her dad
around. She tried to be like her dad, to keep her in check. But when her mom started throwing
empty beer bottles her way, she knew it wasn't worth dealing with her. And so by the age of 13, she
had no family and no friends to rely on. Completely alone in the world.

Then she met Kim. Kim was different than the friends she had before. She had her mean streak,
but unlike her old friends, she wasn't worried when Aubrey got herself in trouble. Because if she
did, she was right by her side, also getting chewed out for whatever they did. It was exactly the
kind of person Aubrey needed. Someone to stand by her through thick and thin.

With the Help of Kim, she had a whole new group of friends. It made her living nightmare at
home easier to stomach. Especially since she could usually crash at one of their houses if she
needed to. They were all so sweet, and even if she got into trouble, they didn't tell her off Like Hero
and Mari did. Instead they would jokingly chastise her for even getting caught.

But there was still emptiness. She knew it was there. She didn't want to confront it. But she had
to when Kel finally worked up the nerve to talk to her again. It... It wasn't pretty. The both of them
had to be dragged away to the principals office so they'd stop scratching and hitting eachother. But
she knew it was her fault. She knew she could have just acted calm... But when he mentioned
Mari... Everything went blank...

When she told Kim about it, she offered to teach him a lesson, as a group, and... Something in
her snapped. She protested so loudly that Kim almost jumped into the air. She... She hated feeling
like this. Kel... Kel might have thought of her as a friend still and she just ruined it. That was the
first time since Mari died That Aubrey remembered what Tears felt like.
 It was shameful but... She still wanted her friends back. She wanted to fight and joke around with
Kel, she wanted Hero to keep her from making stupid decisions, she wanted to Tease Basil and...
God... Sunny... What would sunny think if he saw her now?

And so, the next day... She was at Basil's house. She felt like she was grinding her teeth down to
the gums with how stressed he was. She didn't know how to greet him... Or even talk to Basil. It
had been so... So long since she'd even seen him. Would he recognize her with this bright pink
hair? Only one way to find out.

"Oh Hello, I don't think I've ever met you Before, I'm Polly." A strange brunette woman Aubrey
had never met before greeted her at the door. This was... This was weird. She couldn't be his Mom,
basil said his mom was blonde, and she looked too young anyways. Oh shit she hasn't spoken up
yet, she needs to find her words.

"I-I'm Aubrey. Sorry I was just surprised... Usually Basil greeted me at the door, or at least his
grandma if she was feeling well."

"... Ooooh, you're one of the people in his photo album right?" She said, slamming her fist
against her palm in realization, before she stepped back and gestured Aubrey inside.

"Well I don't wanna keep one of Basil's old friends outside, so just come on in okay? He'll be in
his bedroom, you should know where that is." Aubrey felt like a total stranger. The house was
almost exactly the same but... This new person set her on edge... Why was she here? Was... Was
Basil in danger or something?... Probably not, otherwise why would she let a stranger see him.

She gave Polly a quiet 'thank you', before immediately making her way to Basil's room. She
grabbed the door handle, before stopping. She may as well be a stranger to him right now... They
weren't familiar enough to be comfortable with eachother like this. She took her hand off the
handle and instead knocked on the door.

"P-polly, is something wrong?"

"It's me Basil... It's Aubrey." She heard a sudden rush of footsteps around his room. Probably
cleaning it up, before he finally opened the door. Basil... Basil looked like a mess. His eyes were
red, his hair... Had he showered this week? She hadn't really paid much attention or seen him at
school recently.

"... I-i wasn't expecting you... Um... Do... D-do you want to come inside? Y-you don't have to..."

"Sure." Aubrey said before moving past Basil into his room. God that came off as rude didn't it?
Well, there's not much she can do to fix the impression now... May as well just act casual about it.
She sat on his bed before Basil questioned whether or not he should close the door, before finally
pushing it closed.

"... So, whose Polly? Family?" Basil jumped a little, before shaking his head.

"Grandma... She's been getting... In home care since December last year." He said, standing
before Aubrey finally sighed, grabbing his hand to pull him down so he was sitting on the bed next
to her.

"Don't just stand there alright? It's your room after all..."

"Yeah, sorry..."

"And don't apologize okay? I'm the one who should be saying sorry... Didn't even bother talking
to you till today." She said, before flopping back on his bed, sighing slowly as she stared at the
popcorn ceiling above her. Of course there was stuff to say, they hadn't seen eachother in so long,
but... Nowhere feels right to start.

"... I... I heard from Kel... About your fight..." Aubrey winced. Yeah, of course Kel was still
thoughtful enough to talk to Basil. God she felt shitty. Even he could do it, so why did it take her
so long to talk to him? What the hell was she scared of? Or rather, why was she stuck in her own
head that she couldn't even find the time to say hello to him?

"... Um... He didn't talk about why it happened... He just said he was being stupid..."

"I was the idiot. He just... He just got on my back for getting in trouble... I kept telling him to get
out of my business... And then he mentioned Mari... And the next moment I had punched him..."

"He was right about me..." She let out a deep breath as the words lingered in the air awkwardly.
"I really am a fucking thug."

Basil opened his mouth, barely a sound coming out before he stopped himself. Instead, he
pushed his hand towards Aubrey's, and shook his head.

"N-no... You aren't..." He said, with a quiet voice, barely able to speak up compared to his
nervous fidgeting. Aubrey was ready to start arguing, but as she felt basil's hand squeeze her own,
she pushed down that urge with a deep breath.

"... Thanks I guess... Is it okay if I just... Lay here for awhile?"

"S-sure... I um... I've got a CD player if you wanna listen to something for a bit... B-but I don't
really know what you like." He said climbing off his bed to reach under it, pulling out a small box
filled with CD's.

"... Sure I... I guess." She said, lifting herself off the bed and squatting down to browse through
his CD collection.

"... I've never heard of half of these... The Black-eyed Susans? The Beautiful South? What kinda
acronym is XTC?"

"That's just the n-name of the band..." Basil said, with a slight pout as Aubrey scraped through
his CD collection. Looking for the coolest cover she could, she ended up one a cover with the look
of a stained glass window.

"Blood Music... Kind of a grim name isn't it?"

"Only if you think of it to mean like, spilling blood. Like it can also mean music made from
blood... Wait that's uh, still kind of grim isn't it?"

"Yeah, sounds like something sunny would say..." The light hearted atmosphere thickened into
darkened skies as the two of them didn't say a word further, sitting in silence as their anguish built
up.

"Do you think he's... Ever gonna come back?"

"He has to... He fucking has to... I don't wanna believe that this world... That... God could be
such a heartless monster..." Aubrey felt the muscles in her neck tense up. She was so frustrated. So
angry... Everything had gone wrong... And now here she was, forcing this burden on her oldest
friend...
 "I want to believe too... It hurt that I couldn't do anything for him... But... I'm scared that we'll
wait forever... And he'll never come back..." Basil's voice grew quiet, his breathing heavy as
Aubrey slowly narrowed her eyes. She could hear him choking down his tears.

"... Sorry if this makes you uncomfortable." She said with a deadpan voice as she embraced
him.

"... I can't do much good, but... I can at least give you my shoulder to cry on..." Basil felt the
floodgates open as he leaned into her and sobbed. The two of them remained embraced as he cried,
Aubrey rubbing his back as she felt every beat of his heart.

"... Take away this Columbus day... No more bones on display..."

She looked at the digital clock sitting on the shelf next to her bed. 9PM. Now should be about
the right time. She knew she had the right to use the shower, she was living here for the foreseeable
future, but... It just felt weird. Especially if either of them were waiting on her so they could use the
bathroom.

She quietly tiptoed out of her room and up the stairs. Not that she wanted to sneak around. It was
just ingrained into her at this point. Too many broken beer bottles and too much screaming had
taught her not to obey her mother, just to be a little more covert with her break outs.

Up the stairs and to the bathroom, she grabbed the handle only... To find it locked. That... What?
The lights weren't on? Maybe the lock was busted, or they were just about to leave and had turned
the light off? Whatever the case, a couple good knocks would be all she needed.

Instead of a standard reply instead she heard... What sounded almost like a frightened animal,
scuffling across the tiled floor...

"Sunny?" She whispered in the dark of night. She didn't get a reply, but from the way she didn't
hear more frantic movement... It had to be him.

"... Are you okay Sunny? Sorry, I just... I assumed no one was in here." With anyone else, she
would have been asking alot of questions at this point. Like why he was locked, alone, in the
bathroom, in the pitch darkness. But... She couldn't put Sunny on the spot like that... He had been
through enough, she was sure of it...

"... Um... Can I come in?"

A slow silence crept up upon her as she waited for any reply. Instead, she heard the telltale
sound of the door lock being twisted. She waited to give sunny the time to step back, before
coming inside. Her hand reached for the light switch, but she hesitated before she could turn it on.

"... You'll feel better if it's off right?" She asked. She couldn't make out every detail, but the way
his hair looked, she could tell he was nodding.

"Good." She said, before closing the door and sitting on the floor. Sunny stood there, motionless
for a minute, before finally joining her on the floor.

"... Umm... I don't wanna ask what you were doing in here but... It was... Personal right? The
kind of thing... Um... You might not be proud of?" She tip toed around the subject as best she
could. She knew from a couple of her friends and... Basil, about what they did when they were
depressed... But she wasn't the most delicate person to talk about this. She tried her best but she
was sure it probably came off as either invasive, or insincere.
 "... Yeah... W-was it that obvious?"

"Well, most people don't use the toilet with the lights off... Or jerk off but if that's your-" Sunny
began stammering before Aubrey immediately began laughing.

"I'm just kidding! I'm just kidding! I just couldn't stand the mood being so sour..." She said,
before she looked to see sunny's darkened face, blush obvious even in this unlit room, smiling a
little.

"... But yeah... I um... I kind of assumed you did from... The way you looked when you first
came back... You just looked... Like you were always on edge..." She said, before moving her hand
over to touch his shoulder.

"... I'm... I'm not judging you, okay? Sunny... You've been through alot... I can't even imagine
how you feel but... Well... I don't want you struggling all on your own... If you can't talk to your
mom about it..." Aubrey's jaw was tense, as she ran through what she was gonna say next,
repeating it in her head over. And over. And over. Till she took a deep breath and hugged Sunny
with all her might.

"... Then talk to me... It... It'll be our secret for now, okay? Let me be someone you can rely on...
Please?" She said, unable to look into his eyes... The atmosphere was too emotional... She honestly
might start crying if she saw his tears.

"... I... I'll... I'll try..."

Aubrey relaxed, holding him closer before she grabbed his hand and stood up.

"Okay... Let's stay together for the night okay? I'll bring my bedding up to your room and sleep
on the floor for tonight." She said, as Sunny's cheeks went red.

"Y-you don't need to bother wit-"

"Hey shut it Sunny, this is for me as much as you. I don't wanna leave my friend alone... Besides
it's not like I'm in the same bed as you." She said, elbowing sunny lightly.

"Now I'll be up in a couple minutes okay? Just go to your room and Relax, I'll be back up before
you know it." She said, giving him one last hug before they both left the bathroom.

"... Are you sure you're comfortable down there? Y-you can have the bed if you w-"

"No way Sunny, I've slept on the floor plenty of times, it'll be fine. Just get in bed already."
Aubrey dismissed his worries with a smile, before Sunny obliged, climbing into bed while Aubrey
laid out her sleeping bag next to his bed.

As the two of them laid there, the silence filled the room with a quiet... Warmth. Sure it might
have seemed awkward, but knowing there was someone else there made the night feel warmer.

"... I don't know if I can sleep."

"Sure you can Sunny, just close your eyes and you'll pass out in no time."

"... No I... I-I mean... C-can we talk for bit?" Sunny's voice took on its usual nervous tone,
before Aubrey exhaled.

"Of course we can dummy, that's what friends are for... So what did you wanna talk about?"
Sunny stammered for a moment, before taking a breath and collecting his thoughts.

"... You miss her alot... Right?" The name didn't even have to be said. Aubrey felt her chest
tighten as Sunny spoke.

"... Yeah... I... I really do... But I... I don't know how I feel about it... I miss her but... For awhile I
just blamed her for all of it..."

"... Why?" Sunny said, a hint of worry and a flood of confusion filling his voice.

"... Because I relied on you guys so much... And then when she... Everything changed... And I
was left in the dust to deal with it all on my own." Aubrey spoke in a firm tone, her voice moving
imperceptibly faster with every couple words.

"I blamed her for breaking us apart... But I felt sick to my stomach thinking about her that way,
for thinking about her, whatever she was going through... And to then blame everything on her..."
The words began coming out like a river overflowing, nothing in her path could stop her.

"I don't wanna be that kind of person, the kind of person who can't understand what someone
else was feeling, the kind of person who wants everything to be simple and black and white. I... I
hate what Mari did to us... I hate that she did that... But that's just because I still feel like she
abandoned me... I could never hate her." Her voice was quiet now, choking back her words so she
didn't continue venting about her traumas to Sunny. He didn't want to hear someth-

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." The voice choking back sobs from Sunny's bed immediately worried
Aubrey.

"Sunny, you didn't do anything wrong." She said slowly sitting up as she watched Sunny curl up
into a ball.

"I was such a failure, I couldn't do anything right, and Mari took all my responsibility, even
though she couldn't handle it, it's my fault... I'm sorry... I'm sorry." Aubrey couldn't say any words.
Every possible response felt shallow and unempathetic.

She brought herself up to her feet and climbed on the bed. She was sure Sunny was going to feel
awkward with this but that's better than what he's going through right now.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sor-" He coughed right as Aubrey wrapped her arms around him, holding him
tight against her as Sunny realized what was happening.

"Stop it. You're my friend. It hurts everyone when you say things like that Sunny... I'm sorry if
it's cruel but Renee didn't fight tooth and nail for you for all those years just for you to follow... To
follow Mari's footsteps." The room grew silent again. She wasn't sure if that was the right thing to
say anymore. But she held him firm and kept going.

"You weren't weak. You were twelve. I don't care if other people could have done it, they're not
you. You... You were skilled at it Sunny... You really were... I heard you and Mari play... And I
could never tell you made a mistake till you and Mari started talking afterwords... You were plenty
talented... They just wanted too much from you too fast..." She felt Sunny's trembling body against
her own. She could feel his heart beating vigorously.

"... Sunny... I don't know what your dad told you... But we loved you and Mari... You weren't
just friends with us because we were friends with her... We're all in this together. No matter what."

"... I... I..."

 "Shh. Hey. Just be quiet okay? Get some sleep... You've earned it..." She said, as Sunny looked
down to see her hands refusing to move from their position. He was going to sleep with Aubrey
cuddling against him.

"... Okay..." Was all he could muster as he grabbed the blanket and pulled it over the both of
them, wrapping them both in a warm embrace for the night.

Chapter End Notes

Music Notes:

The Title of This Chapter is Taken from Paul Kelly's 1985 Solo album "Post", and was
also re-recorded for the Paul Kelly And The Messengers 1991 Album, "Comedy"

Again here I am, talking about Australian music. But this one is at least one of a little
more significance to most cause Paul Kelly is like... Probably one of the most well
known singer songwriters in that entire country? At least from an outside perspective
that is. You don't get Royal Honors as a musician without being at least moderately
popular. I don't like using Singer Songwriter as a Genre but that's basically the easiest
way to describe Paul Kelly's wheelhouse. Incorporating stuff like Folk, Rock,
Bluegrass, and plenty of other genres across a decades spanning career, both solo and
with his Backing Band, The Messengers.

What makes the song I chose especially perfect for this chapter is the message of
Support. It is taken in a more passive sense, but I just adore the message of "If you
ever need someone, you can out your shoes under my bed". For most fics involving
found family/Sympathy through shared trauma, messages like that really work to
Convey the emotional connections people can make.

Paul Kelly has alot of albums so if you're interested you should probably test out his
greatest hits albums to figure out if his music is right for you. If you end up enjoying
it, my personal favorite albums are Post, Comedy, and Wanted Man.

Now as a side note, the song Aubrey was Singing is "Out of The Picture" by Son Volt.
I don't have much to say about Son Volt. Alt-Country isn't my strong suit and the
genre, despite being formed as a response to the further commercialization of Country
and the Prominent Nashville Sound, the name doesn't exhibit the best results when
bringing it up in casual conversation. Which is a shame because Son Volt, and their
precursor, Uncle Tupelo, are both great bands. Wilco, the sister band of Son Volt
formed from the ashes of UT is also good but that's a different story. Listen to "Trace"
by Son Volt from 1995, fantastic album, that's all I've gotta say.

Thank you for reading. And thank you for being patient with me.

- Magus
 F.E.E.L.I.N.G.C.A.L.L.E.D.L.O.V.E
Chapter Notes

Sorry for the wait, but we're finally getting to the turning point that I'm sure many of
you have been waiting for, and don't worry, there's still more Story to come with this
one, it won't all be pure fluff after all. But expect there to be a decent amount of it.
Anyways, I hope you enjoy.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

When she first Met Basil... To be honest? She didn't like him. It wasn't personal, she just thought
he was lame. And a dork. And she told him that straight to his face. Aubrey doesn't like looking
back on it now, but... She's always had a mean streak at times. Or at least... An almost
unfathomable talent at blunt honesty. Didn't help that she never had a family life where her parents
weren't screaming at eachother half the time. It didn't give her the chance to learn manners by the
time she met Basil playing by himself in the park.

It's funny to think that even after that... Initial meeting, she kept talking to him. That little blonde
dork who plays with the flowers wasn't cool. He wasn't funny. He was just there. And almost
imperceptibly, she had become his friend without ever saying it.

It's strange to think about, but that's just what kids are like. They're unpredictable, and that's part
of the fun of being a kid. As you get older you lose that spark, but that doesn't mean it can't be a
good thing. Aubrey, by sixteen, had lost that unpredictable nature, but she still had that fire within
her. Grief brings pain, but it also brings reflection if you don't reject it outright.

"... Why are you being so philosophical Aubs? Are you gonna die or something? This sounds
like an Oscar bait movie about a teenage cancer patient or something." Aubrey snapped out of her
day dreaming as Kim flicked her nose.

"Was I thinking out loud again?"

"Yeah, like usual... Did you really tell Flower Boy you hated him the first time you met?" She
asked. As she nodded, Kim burst out laughing uncontrollably. Aubrey stammered as her face grew
flush.

"C'mon, it's not that funny!" She said, punching Kim's arm as she kept on laughing.

"No, you're right, but I just imagine little baby Aubrey just walking up to him and telling him
that straight to his face and I can't help but laugh." She said sitting back up as she wiped the tears
from her eyes.

"God you're insufferable sometimes..." She said, as she tapped her leg.

"... So are you two still fighting over emo boy?"

"Don't call him Emo boy, he's not a drama queen like that." She didn't want to admit that Sunny
probably could fit right in with the Emo crowd just with a change in clothing.

"But he's like, all black every day, that's emo isn't it?"
 "No, that's goth Kim."

"... Shit I forgot goths and Emos were different... But you didn't answer my question." Aubrey
Sighed as she laid back down on the floor.

"... We haven't decided but... We're both just gonna open up about it soon... Honestly I think it's
probably gonna be after Christmas... Otherwise that'll make spending time together on Christmas
day even more awkward." Aubrey tightened her hand into a fist slowly.

"You two are really planning ahead about confession dates? God you're weird, I'd have pegged
you two for a couple before you and Goth boy." Kim turned over on her bed as she yawned.

"Yeah that's what everyone says." Aubrey said, before she stood up rather quickly.

"You guys have Pibb in the fridge downstairs right Kim?"

"Yeah, just make sure to grab one for me too." She said, as Aubrey made her way down to the
kitchen, opening the fridge as she grabbed a couple cans. Before she went back upstairs, she
walked towards the window to stare at the snowy night outside.

She hadn't been... Exactly truthful to Kim. Things were already awkward. Those feelings had
already been aired... But they were alot more than she was prepared.

Hearing Basil tell her that... She wasn't quite sure how to feel... Or how to look at him... I mean,
this was a friend who you had been emotionally vulnerable to, admitting to harboring feelings for
you and your mutual crush... But she didn't blame him. She knew he likely hid those feelings with
the best intentions in mind... And holding all that back must have been eating him up inside.

She wasn't angry. She wasn't even creeped out. Honestly in a way it was flattering... But it
brought out a question she wasn't prepared to answer. How did she feel about him now? They had
never truly decided they were friends, but they absolutely were, best friends even, but it doesn't
work that way for romantic relationships. It takes mutual consent from both parties... It's not
something you just end up in... You need to talk about it.

She sighed as she walked up the stairs, reaching her free hand to the doorknob of Kim's room.
Her palms felt sweaty... Fuck it, time to go for broke.

"What's up, did you forget where the fridge was or something?"

"No, no, it's just..." Aubrey paused, before sitting back down on the floor and grabbing Kim's
pillow.

"Can we talk about something? It's been... It's been weighing on my mind for the past couple
days." She squeezed the Pillow tight as Kim's expression stiffened. She went from laying back on
her side to sitting up, cross legged, looking patiently at Aubrey.

"... Aubrey, I have never been more serious than I am now, you can literally, always talk to me if
you need someone you know... But I'm guessing this has to do with Basil doesn't it?" Aubrey
nodded as Kim sighed.

"Alright, what's the big problem then?"

"... Basil has feelings for me and Sunny." She said, before Kim nearly choked on her soda. She
coughed a couple times to clear her throat, before she finally could talk again.
 "Oh wow so it's that kind of problem! I mean I knew your relationship with that whole gang was
complicated but I guess it's not the kind of complicated I was expecting." She said, trying to hold
back her laughter.

"Hey I'm being serious here... I genuinely don't know how to respond to that... He told me and
Sunny and... We just all kind of froze up a little afterwords... Sunny just said we should wait for
awhile and talk again later..." She couldn't help but smile thinking about it. She couldn't have
imagined Sunny doing that a month ago.

"... So you like Sunny but you don't like Basil right? At least not in that sense?" Aubrey was
about to nod, but she stopped herself.

"... I don't know... I know what I am to Sunny and, well, what I want to be to him... Basil is
different... There's not been any sort of established thing of what we are... I guess we're friends but
there's more we've shared that doesn't feel like... The things you'd share with a really good friend...
And the time we've spent together is really precious to me... It makes me feel happy just to spend
time around him... I used to think it was just friendships are supposed to feel, but... It's different
than how I enjoy hanging out with you, you know?"

"Yeah I can get it... I'm not trying to be rash, but that sounds like you have feelings for him...
Aubrey, be honest with me. Heart to my chest, what is said from this moment onwards will not
leave this room. Have you fantasized about Basil?" Aubrey stammered before punching Kim's arm
again.

"Oowww, well that's a good enough answer... But I think you're making this more complicated
than it's worth you know? Like... You like the both of them. And you're friends. Just like, tell them
how you feel and figure things out with them. The worst you'll get is an awkward month or so
before things calm back down right?"

"... Wouldn't that be two timing though?"

"Aubrey what are you talking about? They'd know up front, that's what I mean by figuring
things out. Whatever form it takes, it'll be better than just mulling it over for weeks and months on
end."

"... But how do we talk about it? It doesn't seem as easy as just 'You're both my boyfriends
now'."

"In all honesty it probably won't be, but I think you're smart enough to know that talking to them
up front is going to be better than just trying to work things out on your own. Now C'mon, Vance is
hanging out at a friends house so the PS2 is all ours tonight, and I still need to see those dog street
boys in action!"

"God I do not know why you love that game so much." Aubrey said, as she set up her seat for
the night to watch Kim play through The Bouncer again.

Kel tapped his foot as he waited in the front steps of Ms. Thompson's house. Sunny said he'd be
down in a second, but that didn't stop it from feeling like ages since he'd knocked on the door.
Having so much time to himself while he waited, his mind wandered to how amazing this situation
was compared to just a few years ago.

Just two years ago, him and Aubrey had just barely started mending the bridge between them,
thanks to Basil's intervention, Hero was facing severe burnout from his exams, and... Every day, he
wondered whether or not he'd see Sunny for the rest of his life. And now He was back home,
Aubrey had left her mother behind, and today Sunny asking him to come over to give him advice...
Well he didn't know for what, but as a friend, he may as well see what he can do. He asked him
personally after all.

Finally, Kel heard the door unlock, before Sunny finally peeked out from the crack, before
opening the door and ushering Kel inside without a word... Weird. Things felt a little more...
Urgent than usual... Well he did ask for advice. And Kel was good at that. Well, maybe not an
expert, but it wouldn't be that much or a problem.

"I, uh, I didn't expect you to be here so soon, sorry... I would have come down quicker if I'd
realized."

"C'mon, it's fine. I didn't have much to do anyways, so you don't have to apologize for me
coming early. Anyways, what's up? From the way you're acting, it seems serious." He said. Sunny
nearly jumped, but with a few breaths, he was back in the driver's seat.

"I'd rather we talked about this in my room... And please don't laugh if this seems... Silly." He
quickly turned as the two of them headed up the stairs. What could be a silly problem? Well,
there's alot he could think of... Those scenarios actually might be too hard to stifle even a giggle.

Sunny quickly lead Kel to his room as he sat on the floor, grabbing a pillow and setting it on his
lap, and tossing another one to Kel. He waited for him to get comfortable before he took a few
deep breaths.

"So, what's the big deal then?"

"... So, a few days ago, Basil told me and Aubrey that he had something... Important to talk
about. Said he had been thinking about something alot and that he needed to get it out in the
open."

"Huh, how serious was it?"

"... Again, please don't laugh if this seems like a silly problem... But... Basil told us he loved us...
Like, the romantic kind."

"... Us as in you and her?" Kel's eyes widened just a little before he smacked his hand into his
fist with a look of satisfaction.

"So that's why none of you have been hanging out together for the past few days. Have you
talked to Aubrey about this?" Sunny sighed before shaking his head.

"No, because that's the second problem... They both have a crush on me... I just don't know what
to do!" Sunny said, letting himself fall to the floor as he groaned in annoyance at his own inability
to come up with a solution.

"Look at you, growing up to be a real Heartbreaker!" Kel said with a smile, before Sunny weakly
tossed his pillow at him.

"Sorry, just couldn't help myself... So, you want to choose but you can't?" Sunny hesitated,
before giving a vigorous shake of his head.

"I don't wanna choose... They're... They're both important to me... I don't wanna make one happy
if it's going to make the other sad... Or jealous... I don't wanna put them through that... But I have to
choose..."
 "Then you need to talk to them Dude. Like, there's no getting around this. It's either a long
conversation with the both of them or you're not really gonna get any progress with either of them,
as friends or as... I guess Partners? That's the gender neutral romantic term right? God it sounds so
silly saying Partner, I feel like I'm about to have a showdown at High Noon."

"But what do we talk about! It's an impasse, so unless someone makes a decision, there's no way
we can handle it." He said. His selfish heart knew what it wanted, but that wasn't something that
was allowed. At least, not by the world that they lived in.

"If Basil came to you both and said this then he must have had a reason. That should be the
starting point. Just ask what he wants first, and then talk from there. I don't really think there's
another option." Sunny laid on his side. He knew Kel was right, but it just felt pointless. It felt like
things would just get worse. Feelings could be hurt, and it would be all his fault for trying at all.

"... Kel... When you think about a person so much they appear in your dreams... Is that love... Or
is that an obsession..." He felt that spiral slowly creeping up inside him.

"If you're talking about yourself, those dreams might have been the only thing keeping you sane.
So don't call it obsession, you're not like that Sunny. You love them just as much as they love
you."

"... I'm still so nervous."

"It's okay to be nervous dude. Hell I'm nervous for you. You're dealing with something I never
would have expected, with two of our closest friends. If this blows up in our faces it'll take alot of
work to keep us friends... But that's just how it is. You have to be willing to step outside your
comfort zone to understand someone you love, romantic or not."

"... Fine... I'll... I'll talk to them about it... If things go badly... Promise you'll help us stay
friends... I don't wanna lose you guys again..."

"Jeez, you're acting like that wouldn't be my plan anyways. You came back from Hell itself
Sunny, something... Something I'd almost given up on hoping for. there's no way I'm going to
abandon any of you now, you got that?"

"... Thank you." Sunny said, grabbing the pillow again and holding it close to his chest as he did
his best to calm down. Things would be okay. He may not want to do this, but there's no other way.
And that faint glimmer in his heart still flourished, as 'selfish' as he presumed it to be, it was still
there.

"Don't worry about thanking Me, worry about talking to them, you can thank me once the dust
has settled." Kel said, before yawning as he laid back on the carpet. There would be plenty more to
do, but for now the both of them just wanted to relax now that a decision was made.

The consequences could come later, Now all Kel had to do was wait and learn the results.

Basil sat on his phone in his room, waiting for the Call. Hero said he'd call once he was done
dealing with Sally and helping his mother with the dishes. He was antsy to talk to him about what
happened. He was both nervous and... A little excited. Being able to be open about his feelings was
liberating. Especially since he had Hero in his corner giving him the advice he needed.

The phone began Buzzing in his hand. Basil almost dropped it on his bed before finally taking
the call, bringing it up to his ear.
 "So buddy, what happened, I've been wondering since you hadn't said anything about it for a few
days."

"Well, I told them, there's not much else to Say. Aubrey told him how she felt too, but we all got
cold feet after that and decided to step back and give eachother some space... And nothings really
happened since." Basil said with a defeated sigh. Sure it hadn't been that long, but this was still ages
without any of them having the courage to start the conversation they all needed to have.

"Well if neither of them comes to talk first, you need to be proactive. You can't just wait forever
after all."

"I know... Honestly I expected Aubrey to be the first to really come head first and start the
conversation, but I guess it makes sense. I'd be weirded out too if one of my closest friends
admitted they were crushing on me and our mutual fancy."

"Hey, no, she isn't weirded out. She's your friend, first and foremost. She may be shocked, sure,
but she would never have such a negative reaction to you. That's casual self hatred and it's not
healthy. You're not weird for feeling this way. There's lots of people in the world, and just because
your love is different doesn't make it weird, alright?"

"... Thank you Hero... I just, I didn't expect you to have all the Advice. Do you really learn that
stuff at Med School?"

"Again, I'm going to a school that has Medical courses, not just a Med School, at least not yet.
My Dormmate has a queer studies class and they had me look over their paper a few times. I guess
it gave me alot more empathy for people exploring their lives and their identities."

"Well, I guess thank them for me. You've been nothing but helpful during this... This whole
thing. It means alot... I was nervous talking to you about love at all since I didn't know if you were
still... You know."

"Of course I am Basil. That hurt doesn't go away easily... But you guys are like family to me. If I
can put aside that sadness to help you guys find happiness... Well, sorry for the corny line, nothing
would make me happier." Basil could almost hear the smile through his voice.

"... I don't know what to say... I'm glad you think of me as Family..." Basil said, struggling to
come up with an appropriate way to respond. Right now, he was practically speechlessm

"You'll always be Family. If you need any more advice, I'm always here for you guys."

"Thank you Hero... Um, one last question... When I talk to them... What was that term you used
for it? For romantic relationships between multiple people."

"It's Polyamory."

"... Why couldn't it be called something Else, I'm just gonna stutter and they're going to think I'm
talking about Polly."

"Well at least that'll probably get a laugh out of them once the realize what you meant to say."

"Hey, I don't want them laughing at me, I want them to take my feelings seriously..."

"And they are taking you seriously, laughter is just breaking the ice. When I want to make
someone comfortable enough to chat, I usually try cracking a joke or two. Usually an
embarrassingly bad one if they're a friend."
 "Yeah... I guess that's one way you and Kel operate the same way."

"Don't tell him, but I kind of stole that from him."

"No promises. Sweeten the pot with some cooking and maybe you'll have a deal."

"You sly dog, you've got yourself a deal, but only after talking to them, got it? Now I've gotta go,
it's getting late and we should both be getting some shut eye after all."

"Alright Hero. Good night."

"Night Bud."

Basil flipped his phone closed at he collapsed back onto his bed, casting a blank stare towards
the ceiling as he sighed deeply. Things would be changing soon. Aren't the winds of spring
supposed to he the winds of change? Or was that a different turn of phrase? Springtime of Youth?
Ah, it's no bother to him.

He turned himself on his side as he pulled his blanket over his body. This old house didn't have
the best insulation, so for these cold months he especially had to bundle himself up in order to get a
good night's sleep.

He had to get plenty of rest. He was going to talk to them soon. He needed to be prepared for
whatever reaction he would get, positive or negative. Still, he made one last wish, to whoever
would listen. He simply wished that whatever would make Sunny and Aubrey happiest would
come to pass, whether he was happy or not wasn't important.

He wanted the people he loved to be happy more than anything.

Chapter End Notes

Music Notes:

The Title of This Chapter is taken from Pulp's 1995 Album "Different Class"

Out of all the britpop bands, Pulp is both my favorite and least favorite. More
specifically, any of their slower more ballad type songs send me to fucking sleep,
while songs like "Common People", "Like A Friend", "Disco 2000", and "Do You
Remember The First Time?" are some of my favorite of the whole movement.

The title itself was more chosen cause, well its a fucking striking title isn't it? But also
because of the nature of the song being about how love comes out of nowhere, and
isn't necessarily convenient, which it isn't. Falling in love doesn't have a schedule, it
doesn't follow strict patterns, it just happens when it wants to. And with the core
conceit of this chapter, it's been very inconvenient for our major characters.

As for the Music, Pulp fits within the general britpop fair for their latter half of their
career, but their early stuff draws a wide variety of inspiration, including Acid Jazz and
Indie Folk. Generally from His 'n' Hers onwards, the sound remains similar and less
immediately varied, but still with interesting evolutions across each album. They come
highly recommended.
Thank you so much for being patient with me. It warms my heart to see so many
people still reading this little work. I want to do my best by all of you, so I really hope
I'm living up to your expectations. As always, I love hearing your thoughts and your
hopes for this story if you'd like to comment, and thank you for sticking with me.

- Magus
 Romance of the Telescope
Chapter Notes

This chapter has been... Nothing but trouble. Spoiler warning, it's the confession
chapter. Since I'm not actually particularly good at writing romantic dialogue, I instead
used a framing device that I thought was kind of fun and unique... But still this chapter
is incredibly short because I really just couldn't get any more out of this scene. Perhaps
I could have laid better foundations for this scene in earlier chapters, but I am
considering making a full rewrite at some point in the future, so I'll see what happens
then. Anyways I hope you enjoy this incredibly short and sweet chapter.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"Why do I love Hero? Well... It's hard to describe love, you know? Even when you feel it, you
second guess it because it's a strange feeling, it's different from the way I love you and mom and
dad. It's... God how do I describe it... Well, think about it like this. It's the kind of love that fills
your whole body with this imperceptible feeling..."

When the words came out of his mouth, Sunny couldn't control them. Almost like they were
bursting forth, like an unruly steed bucking it's rider off as it began sprinting towards God knows
where. Halfway through his sentence, the boy finally gets control of himself, trying to express
himself clearer, but it's too far along to really change course. Instead the final few words come out
as awkwardly as they can, forcing them through his throat with an uncomfortable croak.

Then another gap of pulverizing silence. None of them know how to react, nor what to even say
now. What's more, Sunny doesn't know how they feel. How's he supposed to tell, he's just as
confused by these feelings as them. There's so much he wants to explain, but translating the
thoughts and feelings into consise words or fully formed expressions would be impossible in this
state. For Sunny, it would probably be impossible in any state. All he can do is open his mouth
before stopping himself short.

The gap in the conversation grows more and more intimidating and Sunny fears the worst. He's
fucked this. He's fucked it all up. He ruined any chance they had at making this normal. At
avoiding hurting someone's feelings. God fucking damn it all. His shoulders went slack as he
breathed deeply. He did his best to hold back tears that would surely begin flowing when he was
alone. Well if this was the end, then at least he had a good run being friends with them again. This
past month would probably be the happiest he'd ever be again.

"What is that feeling like? Well, I say imperceptible because it's less like a distinct emotion and
more a bunch of little things compounding into one. The way your heart gets just a little bit faster.
How it's hard to look them in the eyes sometimes. How time seemingly passes faster with them...
And the warmth..."

"What's that phrase for it... 'Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder', Yeah that's the one. When
you're away from the people you love, it doesn't hurt, but after awhile you want to be near them
again, even if it's only for a bit. Luckily me and Hero don't have to worry too much about missing
eachother for long."
 More Silence and Sunny resigns himself to fate. Then a sound catches his attention. The laugher
came from Aubrey first. A snicker, just a tiny bit, before full blown gut busting laughter. Sunny felt
confused, so completely out of step... She wasn't making fun of him, the way she was looking at
him could spell that out, but it just confused him further. Aubrey nearly fell off her bed, grabbing
onto it as she shouted, getting both him and Basil to laugh as well.

This was still confusing, but it felt good to laugh. So very good. The tension dissapated like ice
on a summer evening, slowly but surely melting its way towards comfort.

Sunny went silent as Basil and Aubrey laughed a little more. His voice was hard to find again
after everything he just said, but still... He needed to know. No matter how much it hurts, he had to
live with whatever they said... Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe
out. Three times each. His heart stays trapped withing his chest. Each beat feels like an eternity till
the next.

And then he speaks.

"Hmm? How do you tell when you fall in love? Why? Do you like someone Sunny?... I'm just
kidding, don't be such a spoilsport about it... Well, I guess the answer is, you won't until you do.
Hero likes to say it was love at first sight but that's just him making up for how dense he was when
I was trying to ask him out... It's like it dawns on you, one moment you're close to them, and the
next, your hand slides into theirs, and you see their embarrassed reaction, like their eyes looking
away, or their blushing face, anything along those lines... And it just kind of clicks..."

"... Yes he did blush when I held his hand the first time... Hey, it's not that funny..."

"... Okay maybe it is a little funny."

His two friends stare at him and look to eachother silently as they ponder their words. Sunny is
sitting on the floor, arms around his knees, as he steadied himself for whatever came. Rejection,
confusion, anything, as long as it came straight from them, he would accept it, with head held high,
even if it broke his heart... He was just glad he hadn't ruined everything by saying that.

Aubrey and Basil both try to start speaking and stumble over eachother several times, before
they're both laughing. They exchange a look that conveys more between them than Sunny can ever
comprehend, as they take a moment to talk to themselves... That's okay... This will be okay Sunny.
He knows it. He can take it. The thumping in his chest will subside. It will all pass.

He can take whatever they dish out.

He believed that, till he suddenly felt them both wrap their arms around him, the red in his
cheeks so intense it would seem almost comical, as Aubrey and Basil both placed a kiss on either
cheek.

"Oh, I don't know that Sunny... Only you can tell who you love... Not to say I don't have my
assumptions... But listen, okay? Whatever you do, live true to what you want. Don't care about
what people think of you and who you love... What makes you and them happy is what matters
more... Don't worry you'll probably get it when you're a little older. Now C'mon, it's time to get
going, Mom and Dad are picking us up today..."
 "Does that answer your question?" Aubrey said with a confident smirk.

"Yes... I'm sorry for-" Basil put his finger to Sunny's lips and stopped him, a serious look on his
face.

"No. We don't want apologies for those kinds of feelings. You shouldn't feel shame for being
paranoid after everything you went through. So don't apologize to us, okay?" He said, while Sunny
slowly nodded.

"... I guess I can try... Thank you... But um... What about, you know... You and Aubrey..." As
Sunny spoke, Basil's confident facade faltered, as his cheeks grew flushed.

"That's not important right now-" He said, before Sunny put his finger to Basil's lips...

"I... I don't want you sacrificing your happiness for mine... Neither of you... Don't do that to me...
Ever." As he spoke, Basil turned his head away, unable to make eye contact with Sunny.

"If... If we're all in this together... That means everyone..." Sunny felt his chest tighten. He
wanted to be happy. He had gotten his selfish wish, but... The two of them... Their happiness was
just as important... He couldn't let basil just pretend his feelings didn't exist.

"... I'm sorry for trying to do that Sunny..." All the while, Aubrey remained silent. Still unsure of
exactly what to say. Till she finally sighed and leaned closer, grabbing Basil's hand and squeezing
it.

"I... I don't know if how I feel is the same as you... But I want to try." She said, as she pulled the
both of them into an embrace.

"I don't want to let either of you go, no matter what happens... Can... Can you two promise me
that? Promise me that you won't leave me behind?"

The three of them didn't say a word more, with Basil and Sunny instead choosing to reciprocate
her embrace. They all huddled together, refusing to let go of one another ever again.

Chapter End Notes

Music Notes:

The Title of This Chapter was taken from Orchestral Manouvres in the Dark's 1983
Album, Dazzle Ships.

OMD are probably my all time favorite electronic band, and their first four albums
especially are some of the most pioneering in the distinct sounds of 80's synth pop. But
they're also a deeply experimental band. And all that changed with this album. A
concept album about the cold War technology, it's cerebral content did not make for
popular music, and due to the musical climate at the time, many critics of the time
simply engaged with it with fundamental misunderstandings, leading it to be a critical
failure, until its more recent reassessment in the public eye.

I would talk more about the band and this album (as I literally adore them more than
any other electronic band I can think of), but instead, I want to discuss candidly my
thoughts on the series so far, as I feel I'm nearing the end. In short, I enjoy much of it,
but as an overall cohesive work, I feel dissapointed in many of my creative decisions.
Many plans I had for this work, such as further implementing the rest of the town,
exploring the darker side of Sunny's condition, and even exploring how people often
can find the catharsis and emotional release they need in the music they crave, all of
those simply didn't quite make it in, either due to my lack of planning, my skill level,
or simply a lack of confidence.

I have been tossing around whether to do a proper rewrite of this, although I likely will
leave this version up and publish it as a seperate work, so as to leave both of them up,
since they each will have their own creative strengths. My plan currently is to finish
this work, then take some more time with my other Omori fic, before laying the proper
groundwork for a rewrite of this fic. Including in depth character bios for various
characters, including minor ones and original characters (like the priest I mentioned in
"Box of Happy Memories", who I originally had intended to be a character introduced
much earlier), a proper story outline, and more of a clear concept of Sunny's life with
his father. All of this is in the future though, as to why I'm writing it here? Well if I put
it somewhere public where others can see, I'm more likely to hold myself to these
goals.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope you've enjoyed.

- Magus
 Hand of Love
Chapter Notes

It's been awhile, hasn't it?

Life has been a little rough. For all of us probably. In the states and abroad, tons of
really fucking bad shit has been going on, but what else is new?

As for this? Yeah this is the last chapter. I had originally intended to have a few more
chapters before this, but something about writing this felt like if I didn't commit to
making a conclusion with this chapter then I'd never be able to finish this work. Which
has been so monumentally hard it's almost funny.

For those of you who've been reading, who are about to read, and who will read in the
future. Thank you.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Sunny stared at himself as the morning sun shone through his curtains. The haircut had been long
coming, but... It was strange. He no longer had hair almost going down to his waist, but it still
wasn't the clean cut chin length mop of hair that adorned Basil's photos... That was Partially
because of Basil in fact.

Out of everyone who he had asked about his upcoming cut, Basil had been the most passionate
when it came to his hair, although it was hard to tell when objectivity ended and Basil's own
personal preferences began. Either way, now he had a head of black hair just barely past his
shoulders, while still maintaining a mostly similar style... At least, one benefit of this shorter look is
that he no longer felt fear walking past his reflection, thinking it was Mari.

"I think Basil was right, this is a good look for you." Aubrey said, portioning off a section of his
hair between her fingers and running a brush down it as she helped him get used to properly taking
care of it. The severe amount of knots and split ends had already been dealt with when they went to
get his hair cut, but now it was a matter of helping him keep it from getting to that state again. A
daunting task, considering how long Sunny had gone without ever taking care of his appearance.
Hair, Skin, anything.

"... Don't tell me you've got a thing for long hair too?" Sunny said, with a sardonic smile. He was
trying to tease her, but it did feel nice being complimented so openly. Even when he was a kid,
Mari was always so much more vibrant, so of course all the compliments would end up flying her
way.

"Oh trust me, when it comes to hair styles, I think Basil wins out on the both of us. I'm sure you
agree on that front, seeing how you love petting him like a cat when he's asleep." She said,
narrowing her eyes and smiling before Sunny had a chance to defend himself.

"Jeez, I was just teasing... Is it hard? Brushing his hair? I've only ever touched it when it's nice and
silky, but curly hair seems like a chore to live with." He said, but he imagined it was a blessing to
have at the same time, since even if it was short, there was no way it could knot as bad as his had
been.
"Oh it absolutely is, it's part of why he gets me to help. It's easier to let someone else handle the
back rather than trying to comb it yourself. At least if you don't have a double mirror set up, like
with one of those dental ones." Sunny could imagine how much of a hodge podge set up that
would be.

"... Do you think Kel still gets his mom to brush his hair?"

"Sunny, I don't know the last time a single tooth of a comb has touched his head. Besides, knowing
Kel he probably just uses his fingers and that's enough for him." Aubrey said, before Turning
Sunny around in his chair and looking at him intensively. Sunny remained stoic for about a minute,
until he felt like she was just staring just to mess with him. Finally, she took part of his hair and
tucked it behind his left ear.

"That's perfect!" She said, excitedly cracking her nuckles and grinning.

"O-oh, so... As long as it looks like this... I'll be ready for school tomorrow, right?" Sunny said.
School. The memories of school in the city were faint, but it still brought a dark cloud over his
thoughts. He had enjoyed school back when Mari was alive, cause even if she and hero were ahead
of them in grades, their school was only a short ways away, so they were never far away, and
neither were his friends.

But for the longest time, he felt nothing but contempt for the school he had gone to in the city. The
emptiness and isolation that had driven him deeper and deeper into his own mind. The pit in his
stomach growing more and more all consuming every second. But now there was something
different festering at the back of his thoughts. Something much more hurtful to think about.

"Something wrong Sunny? You look like you're over thinking things." She said, folding her arms
as she patiently waited for his response.

"Overthinking might be lowballing it..." He said, chuckling to himself while Aubrey shook her
head.

"Making light of your issues is good and all, but you gotta talk about them before you start poking
fun at them. C'mon, you can tell me if you want, I'm all ears." Sunny sighed again. It was right.
Again. She was right. Just... Talking about it felt so insurmountable before that he hadn't dared.
But... What could hurt?

"I was just thinking about School... My Old school." The pause in the air felt like it could crush a
solid stone slab with its weight.

"... You left, right? Or rather, you stopped going?"

"I said that I needed to withdraw for personal reasons... But now that I think back... I feel so
shallow..." Aubrey's eyes shot open wide for a split second.

"I think about everything I did and said... How I acted towards other people... For the longest time
school was just another misery piled on top of all my other woes... But looking back... I'm the one
who made it that way." Aubrey relaxed her shoulders, scooting slightly closer as she spoke.

"What are you talking about Sunny? You were traumatized, of course you couldn't enjoy life-"

"No, I don't mean like that... It's just... I feel like if I had the stomach to talk to anyone there... To
reach out and grab someone's hand, to... To be there in the present instead of hiding behind my
headphones like I did day in and day out... Maybe I wouldn't have gotten to the point of... Of..."
Suddenly, Aubrey squeezed his hand tighter than usual.
"Sunny... I'm proud of you for knowing that you need to improve, but what's done is done. Yes,
sure if you reached out to someone, things may have been different... But that requires you to have
been in the right state of mind to know what you needed..." She gently pressed her forehead against
his as she squeezed his hand, both of them looking down.

"There were probably people there who could have been just as good of friends to you as us... But
in the end, even if you didn't reach out to them, your mom reached out to you... And despite some
Rocky starts, you didn't reject her. And I think that's enough of an accomplishment considering
everything you went through." She said, taking the chance to scoot back and stand up.

"... I still sometimes feel that pull, you know... It's not often but the thought creeps into my head
sometimes when I start feeling..." Sunny squirmed in his seat. He knew this would be something
that would bring down the mood but... He needed to be open. Open. That was their agreement. All
three of them needed to open up if they were going to make things work.

"So does Basil... I honestly think all of us feel... Some of that... Kel doesn't like to talk much about
how he took it, but Hero... He's gotten it under control, but sometimes he can still lash out when
he's under stress... And I'm not saying this to have some kind of saccharine 'We all understand you'
sort of talk... I just mean that, you don't have to feel like you're failing cause you still feel it."
Aubrey went to Sunny's window and cracked it open slightly as she stared out at the trees. Out to
the back. Out to the stump.

"..." There was nothing sunny could say as he came up and stood next to her. It was hard even
going to the backyard still. Every high intensity emotion that he still couldn't control would come
spiraling out of control when he was there... But up from the window, the only thing he could feel
was the emptiness. A backyard once filled with life, just barely surviving. The traces of green were
still there but the tree that once stood as the centerpiece was now a shell. Every memory of it as
twisted and broken as the branches were on that cold night. Aubrey followed his eyes

"Did you mom, you know... Did she-"

"Dad cut it down." Stark. Cold. No more emotions betrayed in his tone of voice.

"Oh... I... I never knew that... I never went here till you were back so I just assumed it was her not
being able to deal with seeing it every day..."

"... I... I think my dad took it worse than her... He always hoped for the best with her, so it must
have felt like... Like he was such a failure... He couldn't deal with it being his fault." Sunny dug his
fingers into his arm slowly and felt a wind sneak in through the open window.

"He cut down the tree and it wasn't enough. He divorced mom and it wasn't enough. And he took
me, but even then... I don't think he ever felt like he had escaped those memories. He... He ran
away from everything and just tore it all up on his way out..."

"Sunny..."

"For once, I can finally understand why... He was scared. Scared and pathetic. Like I always felt.
He couldn't admit he had been wrong, and just kept digging his own grave." Sunny felt the sting of
those words in his gut. For once he empathized with him, and it felt so painful feeling that way.

"But he let those feelings hurt others... Mom... Mom loved him and he hurt her so much... And it's
scary knowing I could have ended up like him... I could have ended up alone in a hell of my own
making, all because I was afraid and couldn't trust people..." Aubrey sighed, before sliding her arm
around him.
"You're too kind of a soul to hurt others like that..." She said, before giving him another peck on
the cheek. Sunny was still staring at the stump, before he turned to Aubrey and hugged her back.

"... But I hurt myself... I don't think I'm very kind to me..." Aubrey shook her head.

"Everyone has their faults. You don't need to worry... Everyone's here to help you... You're going
to get better at it, it's just a matter of time and effort..." She said, before she squeezed him just a bit
tighter.

"But... You have to keep trying, you hear me? No matter how bad it feels, you can rely on us. All
of us. You can choose whoever you need at the time, we won't be jealous of who you choose to talk
to, just talk to someone okay?"

Sunny finally nodded as he took a deep breath and hugged her again, before hearing someone
knock on his door.

"Sunny? Aubrey? You two in there? Your mom said you were, and that I should come up to see
your new haircut." Basil said, holding his backpack over his shoulder packed with all the various
accoutrements sunny could need, courtesy of Polly explaining the situation on his behalf to his
parents.

"C'mon I wanna see him flip out over your hair. He's gonna act like a total dork when he sees you."
Aubrey said, as she pushed Sunny towards the door, ready to watch.

Sunny leaned down and rinsed his face, splashing the refreshing lukewarm water against his skin
as the tub drained. The foggy mirror in front of him showed only a strange mirage of how he
looked. Maybe it was arrogant, but he thought he looked rather nice for once. Although the bags
under his eyes had only receded. Hmm. Perhaps those would never go away. Not that it really
matters.

Once sunny was finished, he'd quietly wrap a towel around himself and quickly made his way back
to his room. Feeling goosebumps on his skin from how drastic the difference in temperature was
from inside the bathroom to the rest of the house.

"Sup."

Sunny nearly jumped as Aubrey was there, sat on his bed, one leg up and her chin resting against
her knee as she looked at him.

"... You couldn't wait until I got dressed to scare me like this?"

"What? Am I suddenly not allowed to hang out with my boyfriend? Excuse me I guess." She said in
mock exasperation.

"At least get out so I can put some clothes on. I didn't agree to be ogled right after my shower." He
said, gesturing to the door as Aubrey sighed, standing up.

"Fiiiiine, but it's gonna cost you." She said, sunny about to ask what she was talking about before
leaning over and kissing him without notice. It only lasted a few seconds, but sunny stepped back
afterwords, face red.

"F-fine, just let me get some clothes on!" He said, pushing her out the door as she snickered.

"Alright alright. Just tell me when to come back in." She said, as sunny shut the door with a slam.
Wincing, he almost wanted to open it to apologize to her... But it would be fine.

Quickly getting dressed, putting on some fleece pajama pants and the first t-shirt he could pull out
of his dresser, he soon opened the door back for Aubrey to waltz right in.

"Who knew you were such a prude?" She said, in a clear attempt to rile him up, which worked
effectively, as Sunny tried to stammer out a response, before she chuckled again, wrapping her arm
around him.

"Relax, it's fine. You can set whatever boundaries you want, okay? You can even tell me to stop
with any surprise kisses or stuff like that."

"N-no, those are embarassing B-but I don't hate them..."

"Good to know..." The two of them sat on his bed in silence as the clock ticked away the minutes.

"... I um, I thought you were waiting in here cause you wanted to say something?" Sunny finally
piped up as the silence became far too uncomfortable for its own good.

"... To tell you the truth, I was just a bit worried." Sunny winced. He knew exactly why she would
be, but it still felt shameful to think about.

"... I know you're making good progress and all... And that, you know, you haven't done anything
stupid like that... But I just felt paranoid since her birthday is coming up soon and well..."

"... Yeah... I know..."

"... Sorry, I just made things uncomfortable. If you want I'll leave you alone for a bit."

"No, no, I... I don't need to be alone. I just... I'd rather not send you away thinking you just killed
my mood."

"... That's fair... Sorry if you feel like I'm babying you or anything."

"You really aren't. You're just worried and even if it doesn't amount to anything... Well it shows
you care. But I should already know that."

"Yeah... Speaking of caring, how was your and Basil's little date yesterday?" Sunny groaned as she
called it that... But it wasn't like he could deny that it did count as a date.

"It went okay, I still feel like I could have brought him someplace better than-"

"Not on bikes you couldn't, there's next to nothing close enough for you to visit. Sure if you
wanted you could take him out to the woods but like, you're more likely to get a broken bone than
find a place to have a picnic there. Plus I know plenty of kids in school hide out in the woods when
they wanna smoke and drink without their parents noticing."

"I just meant some place more aligned with his interests... But you're right... I should get mom to
teach me how to drive soon..." Sunny left the sentence hang in the air for just a little too long.

"You... You haven't talked to your mom yet about us, have you?" Aubrey said, with a slight glare,
before Sunny nodded.

"... It's just... Just... How am I supposed to bring it up? Do I just open with it, try and lead into it
with something, and what if-"
 "What if what? Sunny, I know this doesn't fix the problem, but I can't think of a single reason your
mom wouldn't personally support us. I can think of reasons she'd be worried for us, but your mom
cares about your happiness first and foremost."

"Yeah, but like you said, she'd be worried about what others think if us, and how they'd treat us."

"Yes, I know that Sunny. But it's inevitable that some people won't understand. It's a fact of life
that not everyone will share the same opinions and beliefs. And sometimes that's a good thing, but
other times it leads to shit like this. It's just the way of the world. But if I had to choose? I'd put my
happiness over some fucking loser who doesn't know the first thing about me."

"... Can you at least help me come up with a way to talk to her that won't make her choke on her
drink if she hears it? I can't imagine she's going to be prepared for the news at all."

"... That... That's fair." Aubrey said, before Sunny squeezed her hand, fingers locking inbetween
hers as he smiled.

He was still nervous. His mind always wandered to those dark places whenever he was focused on
something in the moment. Even if they never ventured into the depths they used to, it still felt good
to have someone who was there to pull him back if he needed. Someone he could trust with
everything.

And he was lucky enough to have two of them.

Chapter End Notes

Music Notes:

The Title of This Chapter is taken from The Sound's 1987 Album "Thunder Up"

Today I won't go into my usual music history lesson. Not because The Sound doesn't
deserve it. More because I feel like my use of this track for this chapter doesn't even
hold a candle to the emotions it stirs within me.

When I first started writing this fic, I was in a bad place. I had quit a horrible job and
was working one that I was afraid was going to lead to the same mental turmoil. Every
day I would wake up dreading life. Dreading even taking a step outside knowing that I
wasn't mentally ready for any of it. Burnt out on life and so much else, I finally took
the plunge on playing Omori. Both to satisfy the peer pressure of one of my closest
friends, and to hopefully "Waste some hours so I'm not just sitting in my room in a
total malaise."

I haven't cried that hard at a game since I beat Trails in the Sky the 3rd. And to tell you
the truth, maybe it was my maturation as a person compared to back when I was a
teenager, abandoning fears of being "Cringe" and whatever other garbage was keeping
me from being true to myself, but I decided that the characters in this game had deeply
affected me enough, and left me with enough slightly obsessive tendencies that I
should write a fanfic.

Needless to say, maybe I haven't matured as much as I thought. Not because I'm
writing fanfiction, but that there's still some latent part of my brain that is holding
myself to this imaginary standard not of quality, but of "Respectability". The original
intent of this work was to start much darker, further exploring Sunny's mental state and
more directly implying abuse at the hands of his father and former schoolmates, before
eventually ending up at something potentially even more shmaltzy and (God I hate
this word) twee than what we concluded with. But both ends of that writing spectrum
gave me troubles to no end. Constant worried that I wasn't good enough to write either
of these subjects

Am I disappointed with this work? I can't say that I am but I can say I'm disappointed
with how I treated some of it.

Concluding a story is so fucking hard. In my short stories, I often get around it by

having a very loose conclusion, something that could easily be picked up on, or just
finding a break in the plot and figuring out how I could meaningfully end it on that
note. But a real conclusion requires more. It requires something I don't know if I have.
But again, maybe this is me holding myself to some imaginary standard of what a
"Writer" should be. Maybe I should stop worrying about what other people might
think of what I write. Maybe I should just fucking reach out to that friend and not act
like a coward, ask them for writing help on this fanfic. Yeah. But I probably won't.

It takes time to grow.

That rewrite I talked about? I'll probably do it. I have the first rewritten chapter sitting
in my drafts. But for now, I'm giving this story a rest.

-------

"Well nothing is coming my way,

And nothing's going right
But I know that that will all change
When I can trust again
And when I start to feel
All my wounds begin to heal
I felt the hand of love."

- Adrian Borland, lead singer and songwriter of The Sound (December 6, 1957 - April
26, 1999)

Thank you all so much.

 An Update To Those Who've Read

Hey, I figured I should actually notify my readers that I decided to actually link the songs I
referenced in my end chapter notes (At least most of them, god I referenced way too many songs
and albums in those early chapters).

I'm also finally getting around to working on both a rewrite of this and my other two Omori fics.
Since I don't really have any social Media to link, figured this would be the best way to notify
people.

Will probably delete this brief update chapter in a few days.

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