Family expectations can have a negative impact on identity

500 words - diary entry whirlpool and like a house on fire

Dear diary,

When I was twelve, I was verbally assaulted because of my appearance. My self-esteem and
values were shattered as a result of this encounter. Humans who have the right to freedom of
speech weaponised these cruel words to inflict harm on those other than themselves. This
selfish value shattered my perceptions of myself and who I was. It dragged me down until I
drowned beneath the burden of my grief.
The people in question are my family, my so-called "loved ones," who have sworn to keep
me safe and well. Despite this, they had opted to do the exact opposite of what was expected
of them. My father's fixation with our picture-perfect family to the rest of the world strangled
me, suffocating me until I listened to every word he uttered. To always obey him. Our
relationship was constantly on the verge of erupting up in flames at any moment. It tormented
and saddened me to watch his embarrassment at being unable to move, his pain too
overpowering. He sat on the living room floor for days, his legs splayed out, one in a cast,
observing us. His fury was a covering for the 'hurt' he was feeling. That was made evident by
his delusion. With this, he lied to everyone that he was fine and that his disability had no
impact on our family. He was mistaken. He was so far off the mark that he drove me insane.
He projected delight to others, a picture-perfect parent doing everything he could for his
family, yet he returned home full of fury, not the person he made himself appear as. His
comments regarding my brother and my looks had always stung in more ways than one. The
words he conjured stabbed my heart in a terrible and gradual manner. His compulsive and
unsettling demand for control has progressively chipped away at my sense of individuality.
He always seem to inevitably succeed.
At home, he singled me out and threw darts at my confidence until it exploded in my face.
That's when my crying first began. I ran to my room, tears streamed down my cheeks, until
he almost dragged me out to go to a photoshoot. A family photoshoot. The ideal setting for
tragedy to begin. His infatuation with being the most successful family exhausted me. I
needed to distract myself so i approached my grandmother for a chat. I had been delighted to
see her in person, given that she lived quite a distance away, but I had no notion that after I
had finished, I would be wiping away tears that threatened to fall. She had called me nasty,
cruel words but one that struck out the most was ‘anorexic’, she didn’t realise that I had
already been suffering with my relationship with food and she only made it worse. She
described my small gradually forming breasts as ‘non-existent’, my legs shaped like twigs,
and my face like that of a human zombie. Eye bags creating dark circles that lined my eyes,
said I was a disgrace of a daughter to my family.
It shattered my heart then, as I raced to the restroom, as her words diminished any other
optimism I had for the day. This was exactly what I expected to happen. The demands placed
on me and my family have once again impacted my sense of self and ability to go through the
day as a 'happy' teenager. Perhaps it was all made up in my brain. Perhaps I was being overly
dramatic. Despite this, the continual influence it's had on my life suggests differently. Or
perhaps it's all psychological. The realisation that everything was a figment of my

 imagination had calmed my thoughts and cleansed my mind to the point where I could think
clearly.
I'd left the bathroom after I had made myself presentable again and gone to the backyard.
When I noticed my cousins playing a game, I stepped over and sought information on what it
was. It intrigued me as I looked around and everyone had a genuine smile on their face. I was
envious of their happiness but I had not realised the game would forever alter my feelings on
who I was. It was referred to as dizzy dash. I had been told to run around in a circle until I felt
a whirling sensation, then walk into a persons arms. It sounded silly at first, but the moment I
was caught up in the current of dizziness, all of my issues disintegrated and washed away as I
laughed and laughed, leaving behind the girl who finally understood who she was, free of
anyone's expectations.

Statement of explanation:
F- form : what is the form? Why did I choose it? Advantages and disadvantages. Features of
the form, what were my other options? Why didn’t I choose them?
My format of choice for writing was a diary entry. I opted to write my text in the form of
diary entries so that I could incorporate their feelings and evoke emotion, which is simpler for
me to do. When it comes to emotions, I can easily produce a series of words. The benefits
that I have experienced are that I can go on and on and continue to write without having a
mental block, but the disadvantage is that I get so caught up in the emotions that I forget to
include the stories that I am supposed to as I get carried away when writing. My second
choice was to write a memoir and a letter.Nonetheless, I discovered a journal entry
appropriate for family expectations and how they might negatively affect it. I didn't select a
memoir because it was more historical than emotional and because I wanted the reader to
empathise with my character.

L- language: how did we follow the original writers style and structure? What is unique
about our piece? And use of language? Is it different to the original in any way? Why? Do
particular language or language devices come up regularly? Why and to what effect? What is
the tone , does it match why or why not?
I incorporated Anna's state of mind and emotions when confronted with her looks and her
connection with her mother, adhering to the original writer's style and structure. The
structure of her sentiments paired with activity in response to what is going on around her. It's
different in a sense that more emotions are displayed rather than kept concealed, yet it's still a
secret and privacy for her true emotions. The most specific language device that appears is a

 simile and metaphor on her feelings as a result of her father's disapproval for her appearance.
This produces the sense of how she truly feels, as opposed to a more horrifying sensation that
may occur to someone in the same circumstances as she is. The tone in which she speaks
about herself and her family is gloomy and unpleasant.

A- audience: who is you’re piece aimed at? Why? Is it a different audience to the original
story/inspiration? Why? How? How did you aim to appeal to your audience? Purpose etc.
The piece I wrote is directed at young females who suffer similar challenges with their
families, especially since that society's expectations are putting weight on teens' shoulders.
It's a little different audience from the original narrative since it's more centred on the girl
writing the journal rather than Anna's entire family and the primary protagonist who fractures
his back in like A House on Fire. I wanted to appeal to my audience by portraying human
emotions as a vulnerability in her sense of herself as a person.

P - purpose: why did you write the piece as you have done? Have you met the aims of your
plan? How and why?
I wrote this article in the manner that I did because it was vital to present some background
information first by describing who my character is and who generated these fears that she
carries. This was necessary before displaying and explaining to the reader how her father and
family push her anxieties and loss of identity on her.

C - context: why and how did you change the setting? How does it differ from the original
story? Do you believe that your context was effective in conjunction with your character and
plot? Explain. What could you have done differently? Would it have worked better? Criticise
your work.
I adjusted the scenario to alternate between still having a photoshoot going on, but in a new
context by not really having a photoshoot going on, but rather other events that occurred
during her time there, such as her settling her disputes, which is where it all began. It varies
from any of the events that occur throughout her time in that environment and location. I feel
my context was helpful in connection to the storyline since she has comparable issues to
Anna, such as dealing with her father's injury and how it affects her mentally. Instead of
skimming through it without adding depth and structure to my diary entry, I could have
included more of like a house on fire as opposed to mainly whirlpool. It might have worked
better by further explaining how this issue with her father's leg all started, providing
background information on how her relationship with him is how it is. Instead of making it

painfully evident, I might have used the metaphors provided in like a house on fore to
represent it gently in the narrative.

My format of choice for writing was a diary entry. I opted to write my text in the form of
diary entries so that I could incorporate their feelings and evoke emotion, which is simpler for
me to do. When it comes to emotions, I can easily produce a series of words. The benefits
that I have experienced are that I can go on and on and continue to write without having a
mental block, but the disadvantage is that I get so caught up in the emotions that I forget to
include the stories that I am supposed to as I get carried away when writing. My second
choice was to write a memoir and a letter.Nonetheless, I discovered a journal entry
appropriate for family expectations and how they might negatively affect it. I didn't select a
memoir because it was more historical than emotional and because I wanted the reader to
empathise with my character. I incorporated Anna's state of mind and emotions when
confronted with her looks and her connection with her mother, adhering to the original
writer's style and structure. The structure of her sentiments paired with activity in response to
what is going on around her. It's different in a sense that more emotions are displayed rather
than kept concealed, yet it's still a secret and privacy for her true emotions. The most specific
language device that appears is a simile and metaphor on her feelings as a result of her
father's disapproval for her appearance. This produces the sense of how she truly feels, as
opposed to a more horrifying sensation that may occur to someone in the same circumstances
as she is. The tone in which she speaks about herself and her family is gloomy and
unpleasant. The piece I wrote is directed at young females who suffer similar challenges with
their families, especially since that society's expectations are putting weight on teens'
shoulders. It's a little different audience from the original narrative since it's more centred on
the girl writing the journal rather than Anna's entire family and the primary protagonist who
fractures his back in like A House on Fire. I wanted to appeal to my audience by portraying
human emotions as a vulnerability in her sense of herself as a person.I wrote this article in the
manner that I did because it was vital to present some background information first by
describing who my character is and who generated these fears that she carries. This was
necessary before displaying and explaining to the reader how her father and family push her
anxieties and loss of identity on her. I adjusted the scenario to alternate between still having a
photoshoot going on, but in a new context by not really having a photoshoot going on, but
rather other events that occurred during her time there, such as her settling her disputes,
which is where it all began. It varies from any of the events that occur throughout her time in
that environment and location. I feel my context was helpful in connection to the storyline

since she has comparable issues to Anna, such as dealing with her father's injury and how it
affects her mentally. Instead of skimming through it without adding depth and structure to my
diary entry, I could have included more of like a house on fire as opposed to mainly
whirlpool. It might have worked better by further explaining how this issue with her father's
leg all started, providing background information on how her relationship with him is how it
is. Instead of making it painfully evident, I might have used the metaphors provided in like a
house on fore to represent it gently in the narrative.