Radical Acceptance

https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/distress-tolerance/radical-acceptance/

Radical acceptance means practicing a conscious effort to acknowledge and honor difficult
situations and emotions. Fully accepting things as they are, instead of ignoring, avoiding, or
wishing the situation was different, can be a critical step in moving through a difficult
experience to experiencing more meaning.

Often, when we are affected by intense negative emotions, our natural reaction to them can be
anger, feeling upset and blaming the situation or others for how we feel. Maybe ruminating over
past event, can’t get over the fact that it did happen. We can’t let it go and channel our energy
in a more effective situation.

Radical acceptance doesn’t mean:

 You shouldn’t do anything to change the situation (that is bad for you)
 Or you should agree with it or like it.

Radical acceptance is:

 Acknowledging the facts about the situation
 And finding peace to help you move forward.

EXERCISE 1 - Accepting Events:

1. Think of an important event in your life that you have difficulty accepting.
a. Current event or something from past,
b. Something that isn’t too serious to start out with.
2. Write down the causes of the event.
a. Try to think of all the facts that led to the events that you have a hard time
accepting.
i. Be objective as possible and state the facts.
b. Try not to judge yourself or blame the situation when you write down the causes
of the event.
i. Not meant to downplay the pain you’ve been through or currently
experiencing – but to accept the realistic picture of the issue.
3. Accepting the emotions you experience regarding the problem.
a. Can you observe whether certain emotions arise in you when you are thinking
about this event?
b. Be curious and observe what you sense in your body. Maybe you have an obvious
sensation (e.g., increased heart rate or sweaty palms).
c. Whatever you feel, accept that emotion fully.
i. Practice self-kindness – talk to yourself like you’re your best friend.
d. Remind yourself that this is currently what you’re feeling and that you cannot
change what has already happened. By fully accepting the emotion and the
physical sensation you will feel a sense of ease.
 4. Proactive plan for the situation or effect
a. If it is something that doesn’t affect you in a significant way, then it might be
enough for you to just practice radical acceptance and gradually come to terms
with the event.
b. What steps can you take to make the situation better?
EXERCISE 2: Coping Statements

Another way to practice radical acceptance. When you’re dealing with emotions, thoughts, and
situations that you have a hard time accepting, you can use coping statements.

These statements are meant to remind you that there are some things you can’t change, and by
accepting the reality as it is, you can free yourself from emotional tension and judgmental
thoughts. Again, this by no means is meant to undermine the situation and turmoil you've been
through, it is simply a way for you to try to let go of the negative feelings and thoughts.

In the list below you will see examples of coping statements that you can use. Consider which
ones you like the best and write them down in the worksheet so that you will have them ready
to use:

1. The present moment is the only one I have control over.

2. Fighting my current emotions and thoughts only gives them more fuel to thrive.
3. The present is a result of thousands of variables from the past.
4. This moment is precisely as it should be even though I might not like it.
5. I cannot change what has happened in the past.
6. I accept this moment as it is.
7. Although my emotions are uncomfortable, I will get through it.
8. It's not helpful for me to fight the past.