Got A Tough Boss, Buy Him A Banana

GOT A TOUGH BOSS? BUY HIM A BANANA!
EMEKA NOBIS
EMEKA NOBIS
Contents
Introduction .................................................................vii
Banana 1
Take Responsibility..........................................................1
Banana 2
View Your Boss As Your Client .........................................3
Banana 3
Assess Your Boss' Style ....................................................5
Banana 4
Understand Your Boss' Strengths And Weaknesses........8
Banana 5
Relationship Is Paramount ............................................11
EMEKA NOBIS
Banana 6
Protect Your Boss' Weakness .........................................13
Banana 7
Study Communication Style ..........................................16
Banana 8
Feeding Back .................................................................18
Banana 9
Flee From Gossip ..........................................................20
Banana 10
Sell Your Influence ........................................................22
Banana 11
Dress Smart, Impress! ...................................................24
Banana 12
What's Your Emotional Quotient?.................................27
About Me?......................................................................29
What I Have To Say

To You Here At First
I worked in an oil servicing company for 10 years. Within

those years, I saw my colleagues fired or made
redundant. Saipem Contracting Nigeria Limited is a
global corporation whose works depend on oil mining
and construction contracts
When contracts are awarded to the company, people are

employed in their thousands. When contracts end,
people are fired in their thousands.
Every one or two years, I witnessed this hiring and firing

cycle. I could see the pains in the eyes of my colleagues.
vii
EMEKA NOBIS
What made it the more painful was the fact that you could
be coming to work in the morning or leaving for home
after work and you're called to the office to go receive your
termination letter.
How did I survive those years without being fired?

How did I play the office politics game so well?
How did I escape the pain of the loss of a job?
One of the things I did was to manage my bosses so well.
It is a known fact that most employees do not leave their

jobs due to the company's underperformance; they leave
because of their bosses.
If you have ever felt like strangulating your boss, you are
right!
Or you felt like giving up or quitting, you are right too!
Do you know that your success within an organization is

directly or indirectly related to how you manage your
boss(es)?
viii
It's key to organizational and career success!
Note : For the sake of political correctness, I didn't go

using “his” and “her” to show respect for genders. If your
boss is a woman, replace “his” by “her” in your mind while
reading. And vice versa.
Dive in now!
ix
EMEKA NOBIS
BANANA 1
Take
Responsibility
Y
ou were employed because you have brains. You
may not have known everything that pertained
to your job but, at least, you've got a brain.
When I worked for SAIPEM as a Production Assistant on

the field, I didn't understand all the drawings on the first
day. I didn't know all the drawings I used for my job till I
left. When I was introduced to the drawings by the first
construction manager I worked under, all I saw were the
lines that zigzagged across the paper.
1
That day I had sole objective – to learn. I learned and I

grew. I took responsibility.
When your boss wants to pick your brains, you have to

make sure you've got stuff within you that he can make
use of. No one likes to work with an odoyo (colloquial
terms for a dullard) who always sits and soaks up info
without proffering any.
Take responsibility for the job. Show you can do it. Adapt
and grow. Learn what needs to be learned so that you can
up your ante and step up your game.
No employer in the world will teach you all you need to

know. You have to do the homework of grooming your
skills and your intellect.
2
EMEKA NOBIS
BANANA 2
View Your
Boss As Your
Client
H
ave you ever been to the bank and in the
queue it was someone else's turn to be
attended to, but the cashier suddenly attends
to a friend who just walked up to him?
The ignored customer begins to shout in anger.
Why did he do so?
He wanted attention. By right, he's a client to the bank
3
who should be treated with respect and decorum. His

money is in their bank for Christ sakes!
It's the customer's right to be seen. View your boss as

your client!
How do you treat a customer who is about to bring in

millions to your life or business? Boy, you're going to
pamper him, right?
Do the same. We all have the desire to feel hallowed. Your

boss is not an exception; he wants some love and
pampering to make him feel visible.
4
EMEKA NOBIS
BANANA 3
Assess Your
Boss' Style
Y
ou have to discover her style.
Is your boss an introvert or an extrovert?

Is she a clinical finisher?
Does he like analysis?
Does she want results without being bugged with
'unnecessary' details?
Does he like numbers?
Does she love more of verbal reasoning?
Is he a perfectionist or a trendsetter?
5
One of the best ways to effectively manage your boss is to

understand his or her personality. Everyone has a
personality. You just need to understand it.
I had a boss who would request for results at any time of

the day. He could be walking past you and the others and
he would demand the status of production as at the time
of the day. At first, I found it irritating because I wasn't so
clinical with my answers but there came a day when it
changed for me.
We were to carry out a pressure test on one of the

pipelines which had failed on several attempts. Despite
the failures, we decided to adopt another strategy to see if
it would work. The test was done at night and I was to take
the results the next day, very early in the morning.
Unfortunately for me, I couldn't go early enough to the
site because, like the others, I was exasperated. That
fateful morning, my boss asked for the results of the
previous night's attempt. In order not to blow up my
cover, I lied to him.
6
EMEKA NOBIS
Unknown to me, my boss had already gotten the results

and was very disappointed with the answers I gave. He
later told me he was at the site as early as 4 am when I was
fast asleep. After that day, I decided to always have the
answers at my fingertips.
That same boss of mine who made me sit up chatted me

up on Facebook (by the way, we are friends on Facebook)
when he saw I was still online at 11 pm. As usual, he asked
for the situation report of things in the company because
he was on vacation with his family. I gave him the
accurate stats and he exclaimed “Bravo!.” Immediately
after I had given him what he had requested for, we made
some jokes. I jokingly told him he wore his job like a
second skin and advised him to relax and enjoy his
vacation.
Learn to understand your boss's personality and adapt

strategically.
7
BANANA 4
Understand
Your Boss'
Strengths And
Weaknesses
Y
ou need to understand the strengths and
weaknesses of your boss. You can't influence
anyone you don't know. Don't think that
because he is the boss, he knows it all. There are areas he
may be lacking - he could be foggy with numbers or have
low analytical prowess or even poor with spellings in the
language used officially to communicate in the company.
8
EMEKA NOBIS
I had a boss who had problems with Geometry. I taught

him the subject. He was so grateful when he learned he
could use the skills in his job.
I was proud when one of my Italian bosses asked me to

write the speech he would give at his farewell party. Little
did I know he would ask me to stand beside him while he
read it out. Because of my loyalty to him and my readiness
to learn, some colleagues of mine began to readjust. My
actions had rubbed off on them.
I heard the story of a boss who couldn't analyze MS Excel

spreadsheets sent to him via email. It was a battle each
time he saw them. His secretary took note of it and
decided to do something. For several days after work, she
stayed behind to teach her boss MS Excel. When an
opening came for a higher position, it was at the boss'
jurisdiction to select a candidate. Guess who was
selected? Your guess is as good as mine.
Do not laugh at the inadequacies of your boss. Instead,

try to help by working on the weakness. Trust me, when
9
you do this, you build a good rapport with your boss and
might get promoted for that little act of kindness.
Remember, geniuses aren't born; they made conscious

efforts and decisions to become one. Help your boss
become a genius if you can!
10
EMEKA NOBIS
BANANA 5
Relationship
Is Paramount
Y
ou must understand your relationship with your
boss is very important for your work life. Neglect
this at your own peril!
You have to remember this: your boss is your client, view

him as one and give it the best attention.
Unless he is transferred or he quits, you are stuck with

him for the time being. You love your job so dearly, don't
you?
Hate to see his face every day (many of us do not like the
11
faces of our bosses), yet you have to put up with him?

Manage your relationship with him well. Do this and
secure a firm grip.
Sometimes, I see my boss as my wife at home, though the

relationship is not a romantic one. I see the parallel
between both. I desire to be in a good relationship with
my wife so as to form a formidable alliance. It is never
easy, but it's a skill you can grow with time.
Many times I felt the need to read his mind to know his
intentions. At best wished I could design a software
capable of reading minds.
Like husbands and wives who over time develop sign

languages to communicate better, we also have to
develop the skill to decipher the mood of our bosses so we
can effectively manage them. I groomed this skill too and
was able to understand my boss better.
12
EMEKA NOBIS
BANANA 6
Protect Your
Boss' Weakness
Y
our boss is not perfect!
He is not a superman because he has his imperfections

too.
Do not capitalize on his weaknesses and try to

override him.
During an internal interview by the Board of Directors,

Pwapeyo's boss was panicky. He was asked questions that
13
bothered around the impropriety of some of the members

of staff under him. Pwapeyo, the Project Controller of the
firm who had no business whatsoever to be in the
meeting, was taken along by her boss because she was his
confidante. She knew quite well that the questions made
her boss shifty in his seat. She always came to his rescue
by clearing the allegations leveled against him in a
respectful manner without stealing the limelight off him.
Mr. Buroye was pleased. His respect for her grew.
Is your boss the untidy type? Help him manage and

arrange his files.
Is he is forgetful? Keep things in such a way that he

remembers events. A To-Do list notepad can go a long
way in solving that problem of his. I helped my boss
arrange his files neatly and orderly regardless of my job
description.
Do not let your boss go through so much stress when you

are capable of helping out, even though it is not your job
to do so.
14
EMEKA NOBIS
Please note, that I didn't say you should be a slave.

Rather, position yourself in such a way that you are
valuable to him to earn his trust and dependence on you
for important tasks.
15
BANANA 7
Study
Communication
Style
A
s I wrote in th preceding pages, do not let
your boss go through so much stress
when you are capable of helping out even
though it is not your job to do so.
If you understand this, he'll see you as one worthy of trust

and will treat you well. People only treat those who have
their trusts well.
Study your boss's preferred form of communication and

mirror it.
16
EMEKA NOBIS
Does he prefer the formal exchange of emails to face-to-

face interactions?
Some bosses have lost important reports from their staff

even after verbal communication or explanation took
place. To avoid such costly mistakes from having a repeat
they made sending emails an alibi and a strong base of
storing files. Therefore, if your boss insists on emails as a
channel of giving out or receiving information, do so to
give it to him. Every data counts.
Does he prefer team meetings to discuss bugging issues?

Does he like to engage in lengthy conversations or short
ones to tie loose ends?
He obviously has a style. Study her by observation and

make sure you relate with him using that style.
17
BANANA 8
Feeding
Back
T
here is a correlation between performance in a
subject at school and love for the subject. The
more you love a subject, the chances to do well in
it become higher.
If you remember, your teacher played a role in how you

felt towards a particular subject and your reaction to it.
Hate the teacher, you hate the subject, love the teacher
love…? You will equally love the subject!
Even if your boss is the worst in the world, there is

something good about him/her. Let him/her know that
18
EMEKA NOBIS
too. Praise your boss in public, but correct him in private.

If what he does in public isn't worthy of praise, say
nothing, instead.
Never attack the personality of your boss when you want

to correct, rather focus on the events that need
correction. Nobody likes to be attacked when wrong.
19
BANANA 9
Flee From
Gossip
O
ne bad habit most employees do is gossip about
the affairs of their boss(es).
Over the years I have learned that this method of venting

outbursts - operation 'gossip your boss' - to feel some
form of satisfaction/ peace is a dangerous path to tread
on and should be frowned at. If you have been part of the
committee with your colleagues who do this, I encourage
you to quit! Disengage yourself from the bandwagon to
avoid running into trouble now or in the future.
20
EMEKA NOBIS
Your boss is your superior, make him feel his authority

through your actions. You can help with carrying his bags
to show your humility or carry out activities that will
make him value your presence, time, and efforts.
Do not try to undermine the efforts of your boss or

compare them with your accomplishments. In a team,
everyone is important and no individual is more
important than the team, especially if the team is aiming
for the expansion of the company. Make it a duty to win
the trust of your boss, not create enmity which could
hamper the progress of the team.
21
BANANA 10
Sell Your
Inﬂuence
B
elieve it or not, you are a salesman as an
employee. You are selling your ideas,
propositions, suggestions, or advice whenever
you speak to your boss. It's called influence.
You have to be careful with the words that come out of

your mouth because your words are worthy of influence;
worthy to make an impact on others.
If you always give excuses for every shoddy performance,

you become prey for the predator to pounce on. That is,
22
EMEKA NOBIS
you create loopholes for yourself which makes you

appear incompetent for your job.
You have to do away with excuses, do away with anything

that will make your boss doubt your abilities.
Work hard.
Do better.
Be better.
Keep your armor shining bright to sell your influence. It

comes with training and experience and personal resolve.
It doesn't mean you won't make mistakes or sell 'stupid'
ideas but when weighed, the positives far outweigh the
negatives. Don't sell yourself short!
23
BANANA 11
Dress Smart,
Impress!
S
elling your ideas to your boss starts with your
appearance.
If your boss appreciates good appearance and you are

shabby, it's time to hit the boutique. He'll treat you the
way you appear.
Smell good to work. Use perfumes and deodorants.

That's why bankers dress smartly, even if they are a bag of
bones underneath. No one will commit their hard-earned
24
EMEKA NOBIS
money to a raggedly looking person regardless of his/her

resume which screams of impeccable integrity and over-
the-top qualifications.
Have you forgotten the adage 'Cleanliness is next to

Godliness'?
Your hygiene must be a top priority.
Nobody likes to work with a pig, do not turn your office

into a pigsty. Keep a clean working space. Having a nice
breath is an attraction any day. Bad breath repulses. If
you have bad breath, work on it.
It is the same with body odor. Try to ensure your clothes

emit good fragrances as well as your body. Invest in good
creams, soaps, and perfumes to eliminate these bad
odors. A good appearance improves relationships and
endears everyone to you.
On the other hand, if it's your boss who suffers bad breath
(halitosis) or body odor (hyperhidrosis), do not grimace
in repulsion or grumble about it with co-workers.
25
Halitosis and hyperhidrosis are diseases, not a curse that

can't be cured.
Working with bosses with garlic or smelly breath or very

offensive body odor can be quite a huge turn-off. You can
speak to him in love. To pass across your message to him,
you can take him to a cozy environment, eat, drink, and
have fun before exposing the problem and then go ahead
to profer solution. He'd be surprised and would thank
you for it.
For the ladies, your hair is important. Keep it clean and

don't foul the air with dirty wigs or attachments.
For the guys, even if your underpants are hidden, keep

them clean, for the odor can ooze out.
Oh well, you get my drift now? Be squeaky clean!
26
EMEKA NOBIS
BANANA 12
What's Your
Emotional
Quotient?
T
his is a measure of how you manage your
emotions while dealing with the emotions of
others.
Make sure you know how to manage your own emotions.

You won't make a good case to your boss if you allow
emotions to run your mouth.
The truth is that lots of people love throwing pity parties

around little to insignificant situations. Do not engage
yourself in any!
27
What people fail to realize is such 'parties' are out to seek

unnecessary attention and are not about the way forward
in looking out for results. They are after being consoled
instead of thinking of ways to change the situation. So
quit throwing pity parties and get a grip on your
emotions.
You must find reasons to love yourself.
If your boss knows that you have low self-esteem, you've

provided the rolling skate to be ridden over with. Nobody
wants to share an office with a whiner but a winner. Great
sense of self-worth spills over into your results and great
results cannot be insulted.
28
EMEKA NOBIS
About Me?
I worked for nine years as an engineer in the oil servicing

company .
In the tenth year, I fired myself because I was tired of

staying within the cubicles.
I wanted to roam and explore the world. Today, I'm doing

exactly that – with my feet and with my mind. Today I am
Brand Ambassador of 4 different companies because
social media helped me to roam the world.
On a typical day, my body kicks me at 5 a.m. (yea, a habit

grown due to being an employee). I wake and walk into
the toilet where I do my introspective contemplation.
29
Done, I take my bath, eat breakfast, and head off to the

office. At Switchpath Consulting, I'm the Chief Executive
Officer and Lead Consultant.
Before the mindless scrolling on social media, I create

what my audience consumes, send an email to the people
who have joined my beautiful movement via email, run
coaching sessions for my clients.
Like every human, I have my desires. I desire to eat

Afghan food someday squatting on a mat with an
Afghanistan family. I desire to sleep in one of the ice
hotels in one of the Scandinavian countries. I desire to
lounge in the forests of Namibia, Kenya, and Botswana
just to commune with nature I desire to also see that my
company becomes one to reckon with globally.
I don't support one football club. I'm not a loyalist when it

comes to football. I'm always with the winning team.
I love connections. Trust me, I do.
And hey, I'm available to speak in your organization

(especially your managers, top executives, and leaders)
30
EMEKA NOBIS
in the areas of thought leadership, culture design for

profitability, emotional intelligence, and marketing.
So, send me a mail to emeka@switchpath.ng
Let's connect on Instagram.
Visit my blog – www.emekanobis.com - and join an

awesome family that I correspond with weekly who are
interested in becoming Dons, building profitable
businesses by selling the knowledge they have.
Join my YouTube channel and subscribe. Let's have some

video fun over there.
I'm married to my pretty wife, Joy, and we have three

adorable children – Best, Adaeze and Chisom. We live in
Port Harcourt, Nigeria.
Live your best life always!
I love you.
Emeka Nobis
31

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GOT A TOUGH BOSS? BUY HIM A BANANA!

What I Have To Say

I worked in an oil servicing company for 10 years. Within

When contracts are awarded to the company, people are

Every one or two years, I witnessed this hiring and firing

How did I survive those years without being fired?

One of the things I did was to manage my bosses so well.

It is a known fact that most employees do not leave their

Do you know that your success within an organization is

It's key to organizational and career success!

Note : For the sake of political correctness, I didn't go

When I worked for SAIPEM as a Production Assistant on

That day I had sole objective – to learn. I learned and I

When your boss wants to pick your brains, you have to

No employer in the world will teach you all you need to

The ignored customer begins to shout in anger.

Why did he do so?

He wanted attention. By right, he's a client to the bank

who should be treated with respect and decorum. His

It's the customer's right to be seen. View your boss as

How do you treat a customer who is about to bring in

Do the same. We all have the desire to feel hallowed. Your

Is your boss an introvert or an extrovert?

One of the best ways to effectively manage your boss is to

I had a boss who would request for results at any time of

We were to carry out a pressure test on one of the

Unknown to me, my boss had already gotten the results

That same boss of mine who made me sit up chatted me

Learn to understand your boss's personality and adapt

I had a boss who had problems with Geometry. I taught

I was proud when one of my Italian bosses asked me to

I heard the story of a boss who couldn't analyze MS Excel

Do not laugh at the inadequacies of your boss. Instead,

Remember, geniuses aren't born; they made conscious

You have to remember this: your boss is your client, view

Unless he is transferred or he quits, you are stuck with

faces of our bosses), yet you have to put up with him?

Sometimes, I see my boss as my wife at home, though the

Like husbands and wives who over time develop sign

He is not a superman because he has his imperfections

Do not capitalize on his weaknesses and try to

During an internal interview by the Board of Directors,

bothered around the impropriety of some of the members

Is your boss the untidy type? Help him manage and

Is he is forgetful? Keep things in such a way that he

Do not let your boss go through so much stress when you

Please note, that I didn't say you should be a slave.

If you understand this, he'll see you as one worthy of trust

Study your boss's preferred form of communication and

Does he prefer the formal exchange of emails to face-to-

Some bosses have lost important reports from their staff

Does he prefer team meetings to discuss bugging issues?

He obviously has a style. Study her by observation and

If you remember, your teacher played a role in how you

Even if your boss is the worst in the world, there is

too. Praise your boss in public, but correct him in private.

Never attack the personality of your boss when you want

Over the years I have learned that this method of venting

Your boss is your superior, make him feel his authority

Do not try to undermine the efforts of your boss or

You have to be careful with the words that come out of

If you always give excuses for every shoddy performance,

you create loopholes for yourself which makes you

You have to do away with excuses, do away with anything