One For The Record Books

One for the Record Books
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/47175496.
Rating: Not Rated

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M, Multi, Other
Fandom: Heartstopper (Webcomic), Heartstopper (TV)
Relationship: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson/Charles "Charlie" Spring
Character: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper),
Victoria "Tori" Spring, Nellie Nelson, Tara Jones, Darcy Olsson, Tao Xu,
Aled Last, Original Characters
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2023-05-14 Updated: 2023-06-15 Words: 22,977 Chapters:
9/?
One for the Record Books

by HanKitchman
Summary
Charlie is working for Leeds Council in the registration office. While he loves his job, he
had to make a sacrifice to be here.
When arranging the wedding ceremonies, a potential customer arrives, and Charlie is
confronted with his past.
Notes
See the end of the work for notes

Chapter 1
"Oh a lovely name," Charlie lied "nice and traditional choices." The tired looking parents currently
sat in front of Charlie's desk smiled at each other, and then gave an adoring look to the sleeping
baby in its pram.
"Thanks." Said the mother "The middle names are both of our dad's names."
Charlie smiled, hoping his face wasn't giving away his true feelings. He was sure this name would
be in the running for name of the week, if not, if would at least make a spot on the team's infamous
'Noticeboard of Nutty Names".
Charlie had been a registrar for Leeds Council for over three years and he truly loved his job. Not
just for the ridiculous names people chose to call their babies, but for the feeling of pride he got
whenever he helped a person through a key moment. People needed registrars at life changing
times: the birth of a child, the death of a loved one, or when getting married, and Charlie relished
in being able to sympathetically guide people through them all.
His love of history brought him into the role. Charlie could happily waste several lunch hours in
the archives looking at the near two hundred years of history of the people of Leeds. He loved
flicking through the old records, feeling the rough paper under his fingers, and squinting at the
impossibly tiny and swirly handwriting of registrars gone by.
Charlie had spent years drifting from one unsatisfactory job to another, but since starting in this
role, he truly felt he had found his purpose.
The proud new parents left his office, clutching their tiny son's birth certificate. Charlie waited
until the office door swung shut behind them, before jumping up from his seat, and heading to the
interconnecting door between his office, and his colleague Kim's next door. He knocked out of
politeness, but knew she didn't have any customers in, so immediately opened the door and lent on
the door frame.
Kim froze with a slice of chocolate cake halfway to her mouth, a guilty expression in her face.
"Busted." Charlie said, chuckling.
"It was our Theo's third birthday this weekend." Kim replied in her broad Yorkshire accent, and
took a large bite of the cake.
Charlie and Kim had started working for the council around the same time, although Kim wasn't
new to the role itself, having worked the same role in other councils before. She was a couple of
years older than Charlie, and had two young sons who, just like her, both had unmanageable frizzy
ginger hair, and a seeming never ending supply of energy.
She wiped chocolate frosting from the sides of her mouth with her fingers. "What can I do for you
Mr Spring?" She said.
"I have a name for the wall." Charlie replied, a glint of excitement in his eyes.
Kim sprang up from her seat, clapping her hands together with glee. "Ooh show me, show me,
show me!" She squealed.
Charlie led her back to his desk and showed her the name from his last appointment. Kim read the
record entry over his shoulder and frowned. "Thomas Taylor? What's wrong with that?" She asked.
"The intiails" Charlie replied "Look at the initials."
Charlie watched Kim as she re-read baby Taylor's full name and he couldn't help but grin as her
eyes widened in shock. "Oh no" she said "oh no no no."
"Yep." Laughed Charlie "Thomas William Arthur Taylor. That child's initials spell Twat."
***
Charlie sat idly doodling in his notebook as the service manager Jess continued her speel about
some new law that had been passed affecting the age at which people can marry. The monthly
team meeting was long, and dull. Fortunately Jess had placed an order with the lovely coffee shop
around the corner, and therefore they all had enough pastries and caffeine to keep them going.
"So now we need to talk about deaths" Jess announced. "As I'm sure you've noticed, there's a large
increase in the number of appointments required at the moment."
"Flu." Kim whispered not so quietly to Charlie "Every January. Knocks people down like skittles."
"Yes thank you Kim." Jess said "Currently there are 23% more deaths for this month than there
have been previously for January. Now, according to the hospitals, they don't expect this strong flu
to ease off until at least March, so we need to make sure we're prepared and able to offer enough
appointments to keep up with the demand. I'm sorry to have to tell you therefore that I'm pulling a
few of you off the normal diaries and you will exclusively be registering deaths for at least two
weeks."
The team gave a collective groan. Death appointments were never fun, but they were a necessary
part of the job. So long as your day was a mix of all the different appointments available, a couple
of deaths a day were manageable. A full day of death appointments, however, could be quite
taxing. It would mean up to eleven deaths to register a day. Eleven difficult to spell medical causes
of death, eleven separate doctor's handwriting to decipher, and eleven different grieving families.
"Kim, Steve and Fatima," Jess continued "I have put you three on this for the first two weeks, then
we'll review after that, and I'll put another team on it if necessary."
Kim flopped her head back against the wall behind her and let out a little sigh. Charlie gave her a
sympathetic smile, but secretly was quite glad he wasn't on Jess' list.
Jess cleared her throat. "Now because we have three people out of action for death appointments,
I'm afraid I'm going to have to shuffle people around to pick up the slack elsewhere. Charlie."
Charlie looked up from his doodles to see Jess looking at him. "I know this isn't your favourite, but
I'm putting you on Ceremony Admin for the next fortnight."
Charlie's heart sank. If there was one part if his job he wasn't keen on, it was Ceremony Admin.
The council had three venues of their own licensed for marriage ceremonies, as well as over fifty
independent venues across Leeds. Ceremony Admin's job was to deal with all enquiries related to
couples wishing to book their wedding ceremony, and dealing with all the paperwork once they
have done. It meant keeping a close eye on the diaries and ensuring ceremonies are scheduled so
that the council's team of registrars and officiants conducting weddings are able to make it from
one venue to the next on time.
The worst bit of the whole role though, in Charlie's opinion, was the tours. Any couples wishing to
marry at one of the council's venues could book to view the rooms. Charlie hated this bit as it
meant dealing with newly engaged couples who often had big dreams and even bigger
expectations, but not the biggest brain cells.
He hated making idle chit chat with them about their wedding plans and trying to sound like he
cared. Sales was never something he enjoyed and he really disliked the feeling of pressurising
people into booking.
"Sure Jess, no problem." He lied.
***
The following morning the offices were freezing and Charlie was grumpy. He had never been a
morning person anyway, but this morning it had been dark, cold, and sleeting when he left his
house, and the temperature hadn't improved much since.
Charlie was sat waiting for his laptop to fire up with his hands clasped around a steaming mug of
tea in a pathetic attempt to warm himself up, and he had yet to remove his coat, hat and scarf.
His mood hadn't been improved by the dreadful date he had been on last night. It was with a man
called Chris who Charlie had met a few weeks ago when enjoying his work's belated Christmas
night out. Charlie had been several cocktails in when Chris had approached him, and his memory
of the night was hazy. He had been surprised to wake the next morning to a flirty text message
from a number he had saved as 'Chris tall blonde. Scottish'. They exchanged several messages and
had eventually agreed to meet last night for a drink after work.
In agreement with the contact listing, Chris was indeed very tall, blonde and Scottish. Charlie
realised within half an hour of the date beginning however, that these three attributes were the only
nice things about him.
Chris had been loud and rude to the bar staff, talked about himself for most of the date without
asking anything about Charlie in return, and it was clear to Charlie that they had absolutely nothing
in common. If Charlie had been at all considering a second date, this was truly ruined when a
group of Chris' colleagues entered the bar, and Chris proceeded to talk (well, shout) exclusively to
them, three tables away, for twenty minutes without once introducing Charlie. After finishing his
drink, Charlie grabbed his bag and coat, made an excuse that he needed to catch a bus, and left.
While stood at the bus stop he had blocked and deleted Chris' number.
On returning home, Charlie had briefly said hi to his housemates, before heading to his room and
dramatically flopping down onto his bed. He stared at the ceiling. Charlie was fed up of going on
dates that weren't heading anywhere.
He'd been single for nearly four years now, and didn't want to be anymore. He had tried, and failed,
being a one night stand sort of person. (He just felt awkward and nervous the next day.) He was
made for monogamy and long term love. He wanted someone who he could cuddle with, go for
lazy weekend walks with, binge watch series with, have mind blowing sex with, and plan a future
with. Charlie's friends would tell him he was being too fussy, but Charlie had known a love like
that before, why should he settle for less?
Kim poking her head through the doorway connecting their rooms had pulled Charlie back to the
present. "Morning Charlie boy" she grinned. "Cold?"
"Fucking freezing." He replied, stoney faced.

Kim disappeared from the doorway to go hang her coat up in her office. "My street was a
nightmare this morning." She shouted. "I slipped on ice, and fell smack on my arse as I got near the
bus stop. Honestly I was so embarrassed my face went the same colour as my hair!"
Charlie gave a unenthusiastic chuckle and opened up his diary for today. Kim reappeared at the
door, a mug in her hand. "Fancy a brew?" She asked.
"Got one" Charlie said, without looking away from his computer screen.
Finally starting to warm up, he pulled his scarf and hat off, and ran his hand through his curls. He
looked through appointments he had for tours today. They were annoyingly all spaced out through
the day; 10.30, 12.00, 14.45, 16.15. Charlie made a note of the people who he was seeing, if they
had any preference of venue,and when they were hoping to book for.
As he got to the 16.15 appointment he gasped at the name on the booking: N.Nelson.
Charlie's ex was an N.Nelson; Nicholas Nelson. They had been together for most of their teens and
into their early twenties. Nick was actually the reason Charlie was living in Leeds in the first place,
having followed Nick up north so they could attend the same university. They had been together
for so long they were never even referred to as inviduals. They were Nick and Charlie. Always
together, for always. That's what everyone had assumed, the two men included. However four
years ago it had abruptly ended.
Charlie had been three years out of university with a history degree that he had enjoyed doing, but
had been no help in steering him towards a living. He was working in a call centre for a bank based
on the outskirts of Bradford. The office was in a converted mill, in what previously housed the
large industrial weaving looms. Now there were over two hundred people on the phones all day,
every day.
Charlie hated working there. He hated the constant hubbub of chatter, the terrible shift patterns, the
knowledge that this job was going nowhere, and he especially hated having to raise his hand for
permission to go to the toilet as if he was still at school.
He would return home to the flat he shared with Nick and vent about how fed up he was. Nick tried
to be sympathetic, but Charlie knew he didn't really understand. Nick had decided in the final year
of his undergraduate degree that he wanted to go into teaching, so while Charlie finished the final
year of his degree, Nick completed his PGCE and went on to obtain a teaching post at one of the
schools he did a training placement at. Nick loved his job, and especially thrived when it came to
pupils who perhaps needed extra help. Within two years he was qualified to be the school's
SENCO, as well as teaching year six and training the schools football and rugby teams.
Charlie was initially very proud of his boyfriend, but eventually this pride became jealousy, which
in turn became resentment. Charlie felt he had relied on Nick his whole adult life and didn't know
how to exist without him. It was time to be on his own, make his own choices and take
responsibility for the mess his work life had become.
When he explained his decision, Nick had cried. Charlie expected this. Unlike him, Nick was an
open book when it came to his feelings. Charlie and him had spoken for hours into the night, Nick
begged him not to leave and desperately kissed him. Wet, messy kisses, mixed with salty tears.
Charlie gently pulled away. He stood up, gave Nick one last gentle kiss on the top of his head,
before picking up his suitcase and leaving.
When Charlie had returned to their flat to collect some of his things, Nick had purposely been
absent. From that day to this, with the exception of a few initial text messages, Charlie had not seen
or heard from Nick Nelson.
Still, someone would have told him if Nick was getting married, surely? They still had mutual
friends, and no one had mentioned a thing.
Charlie pulled his phone from his pocket and searched through Nick's Instagram, scanning for
anything that might suggest he was engaged. The last photo was from before Christmas. It was
Nick and his colleagues on their Christmas night out, all wearing tacky jumpers and cracker
crowns. Charlie scrolled further. A picture of his dog, rugby selfie, dog, interior of a coffee shop,
dog. Nothing to suggest he was getting married, or even that Nick had a partner at all.
Charlie put his phone away, feeling slightly clamer. It must be a different N.Nelson he was meeting
today. Nigel Nelson, or Nadine Nelson perhaps. It certainly couldn't be his N.Nelson, could it?
Chapter 2
Despite not enjoying this aspect of his job, Charlie was very good at Ceremony Admin. He had
been quick to respond to most of the new emails that had come in from anxious couples, and
discussed with three different hotels about renewing their licence to hold weddings
Three of today's tours were done, with two of the couples booking their wedding ceremony there
and then. Charlie doubted the third couple would book, but he didn't feel that was any big loss.
From the way they were bickering with each other, he seriously doubted they would make it to
their wedding day.
Ten minutes before his final tour of the day with the mystery N.Nelson, Charlie headed to
reception with a huge stack of wedding guides for posting. The post stock was all held in a small
annexe room, off the side of the reception desk, so Charlie dragged a chair in there to begin
stuffing and addressing envelopes.
He was just jotting down the post code of an Emma Green and Daisy Charlton when a familiar
voice drifting from reception suddenly caught his attention.
"Hi. I, err, I have an appointment."
Charlie almost dropped the envelope he was holding. It was him, he was sure of it.
"Could I take your name please, love?" Asked the voice of Heather on reception.
"Nick Nelson."
Charlie's heart jumped, if out of panic or excitement, he wasn't sure. He quickly ran his hands
through his hair, desperately trying to tame his curls, as he heard Heather saying "Oh yes, here to
view the rooms? You're seeing Charlie. Charlie!" She called towards the room Charlie was hiding
in. "Take a seat dear" her voice said to Nick "and I'll just see where Charlie's got to."
Charlie's breathing was getting shorter. He heard Heather's chair move. He was feeling hot and
flustered. He heard her footsteps as she approached the post room. He considered hiding under a
table so she couldn't find him. Too late.
"Ah there you are Charlie!" She said as she poked her head around the door. "Your next
appointment is here. A very good looking appointment I might add" she said in a low tone, before
turning briskly on her heel and heading back to the reception desk.
Charlie leant forward in his chair, laid his head on the table in front if him, and forced himself to
take several, steadying breaths. "Fuck." He hissed. Nick is getting married. Charlie hadn't seen
Nick in nearly four years, but he always assumed...and now he was sat just on the other side of the
door.
Charlie took one more deep breath in, straightened himself up, grabbed one of the wedding guides
for the tour, and headed through the door to reception.
Nick was sat with his head down, reading something on his phone. Charlie couldn't yet see his
face, but there was no mistaking that floppy mop of strawberry blonde hair. He had bulked up
since Charlie last saw him. His shoulders were broader, and his thighs larger. A flicker of a thought
passed through Charlie's brain. What would it feel like to squeeze those thighs again? Would Nick
blush the same shade of scarlet as he did as a teenager? He berated himself for being so
inappropriate. Nick is engaged!
"Mr Nelson?" Charlie said, in as business-like a voice as he could managed.
"That's me!" Nick shoved his phone into his pocket as he stood up. He turned to look to Charlie
and froze. Charlie had forgotten just how intense Nick's eyes were. Deep brown eyes that you
could get lost in. Eyes that were currently open wide with shock. "Char- Charlie?" He spluttered.
"Hi Nick."
"What are you doing here?"
"I work here." Charlie replied. The way Nick stared at him make him feel very self conscious and
he wished he had picked a better shirt to wear for work today. He hugged the wedding guide close
to his chest. "I'm doing your tour."
"You?" Nick practically shouted.
"Me." Charlie gave him an awkward smile, before trying to reestablish his professional approach.
"Are we waiting for anyone else, or is it just you?"
"Yes, err, no." Nick mumbled, rubbing a hand along the back of his neck in a move Charlie knew
meant he was nervous. "It's just me."
"Well then, let's go." Charlie motioned for Nick to follow him as he headed up the large flight of
stairs. Nick gave a small shake of his head, before following Charlie, a step or two behind.
In a normal tour, Charlie would use this moment to make idle chit chat, filling the time it took to
walk to the first of the ceremony rooms; How long have you been together? How did you meet?
Who proposed and how? Charlie didn't ask this of Nick. He didn't want to find out about the
person Nick was marrying. He didn't think he could cope with knowing and instead settled for an
awkward silence.
After a minute or so, Nick cleared his throat and asked "How long have you worked here?"
Charlie stopped walking and turned to look at Nick. "About three years"
"And...you like it?" Nick was frowning, as if worried to ask.
"I love it." Charlie replied.
Nick gave him a soft smile. "I'm pleased. Do you just do the weddings?"
"No. I do everything." Charlie explained to Nick how registration works, and all the different
aspects of his job. He was aware he was rambling, but it was a safer topic for Charlie than Nick's
impending marriage. At the top of the stairs they turned left and paused outside of some dark
wooden double doors. "My favourite bit is the record room." Charlie explained "it's full of books
with every birth, death and marriage in Leeds since records began. Weirdly I like reading the death
records. They're a window into past lives and show how society develops. I think it's fascinating."
"Char that's so cool." Nick said, and his eyes crinkled slightly as he gave Charlie another smile.
Charlie looked down at his feet, feeling his cheeks slightly burning. He turned to the double doors
in front of them, took hold of the handle and opened them.
Behind the door was a small ceremony room. It wasn't Charlie's favourite room. It was paneled in a
dark wood, with several portraits hung all around of austere gentleman in opulent robes. Charlie
stood back to let Nick into the room. "This is the Asquith room." Charlie said, as Nick took out his
phone and began taking pictures. "Its the smaller of the ceremony rooms and can hold up to 20
guests."
It was silent as Nick looked around the room. He stopped in front of one of the portraits. "Who are
these people?" He asked.
"Old mayors." Charlie replied with a shrug.
"This one looks like Mr Lange, don't you think?"
Charlie looked at the portrait Nick was pointing at. It showed a middle aged man with a large
hooked nose, a dark rough looking beard, and a miserable expression. Mr Lange had been their
form tutor at school, and had also been the reason Nick and Charlie initially met.
Charlie gave a small chuckle. "I've conducted loads of weddings in here and never noticed that."
They stood side by side staring at the picture in silence. Charlie fleetingly remembered the moment
Mr Lange first sat him and Nick together. The sly looks Charlie would give Nick, the cheeky grins
and hair ruffles Nick would give him in return. How many times did Mr Lange have to tell them
"Nick and Charlie, keep it down boys" during form?
"I wonder if this chap ever unwittingly helped two queer teens get together?" Nick asked with a
grin.
"NICK!" Charlie gasped.
"Well he did! If it wasn't for Mr Lange, I might never have realised I'm bisexual."
"Well thank you Mr Lange." Charlie giggled.
At the sound of Charlie's giggle Nick looked at him. Charlie was shocked to see a sadness in his
eyes which had not been there a moment before.
Charlie opened his mouth to apologise if he said something out of turn, when Nick quickly headed
towards the door. "I don't think this is the right room" He mumbled quietly.
Charlie caught up with him, and went to put his hand on Nick's shoulder, but held himself back. It
wasn't his place to comfort Nick anymore. Charlie lost that right the day he left. It was now the
privilege of the person Nick was marrying. They were allowed to rub his shoulder, have Nick lean
into them, kiss the top of his head and run their hands up and down his biceps.
"How's your mum?" Charlie asked, both to break the silence and help pull his mind away from
Nick's biceps.
"Well, thanks" Nick replied, his hands firmly shoved into his pockets. There was a pause before he
added "She has a new dog called Milo. He looks a lot like Nellie did." Nick pulled his phone from
his pocket and scrolled through his image gallery, eventually pausing on a photo of his mum Sarah,
holding a beautiful dog. Nick showed it to Charlie and said "I think he's a bit of a handful. Mum's
been at obedience training with him for weeks."
"Your mum looks well." Charlie missed Sarah. When he and Nick had broken up Sarah had
initially kept in contact with Charlie, hopeful that the boys would reconcile quickly. As time wore
on however, they messaged less and less until her and Charlie's sole correspondence was
exchanging Christmas cards.
"How are all the Springs? Oliver enjoying uni?"
Charlie nodded. "He loves it. He's got a pretty serious girlfriend."
Nick gasped "No!"
"Honestly she's basically him in female form. Far too jolly for our family. Tori can't be in the room
with the two of them for more than five minutes without needing a break."
The two men had arrived outside another set of double doors. This one had a small brass sign on it
which read 'The Bennett Suite.' Charlie went to place a hand on the brass doorknob when Nick
spoke.
"I saw Michael's announcement. Him and Tori doing OK?"
About ten months ago Michael, Charlie's brother in law, had been competing in the European
Speed Skating Championships when he had fallen and dislocated his shoulder. Several months of
physio followed, but Michael stil wasn't back to the necessary level of fitness for the upcoming
winter Olympics qualifiers. He had therefore taken the difficult decision to stop competing, and
begin coaching the next generation.
Charlie pulled back from the door and looked at Nick "How did you hear about that?" Speed
Skating wasn't exactly a popular sport, although Michael's medal tally had certainly helped gain
both funding and notoriety.
Nick shrugged "I keep an eye out for what he's up to on the sports pages. Is he doing Tori's head in
now he's not training?"
"So much!" Charlie laughed as he remembered a text he'd received from his sister yesterday,
moaning that having Michael in the house when he no longer adheres to his strict training
schedule, is like having a very energetic puppy. "I think she's glad to not have to spend every
weekend stood by a freezing rink though."
Nick chuckled. "How those two make it work is beyond me."
Charlie shrugged, grabbed the doorknob and pushed open the doors. This room was bright, with
large windows running along the far wall, flooding the room with natural light. There were several
ornate mirrors hung on the walls, bouncing the light around. The room was already set up for a
wedding, as Charlie knew there was one scheduled for tomorrow morning.
"Wow." Nick said softly as he looked around. His phone was back out of his pocket again as he
took pictures.
"This is the Bennett Suite" Charlie said "It's larger than the Asquith room, and can hold up to 50
guests. It also has its own waiting area for your guests to gather before the ceremony, and separate
toilets so your guests don't have to use the ones downstairs."
"It's perfect." Nick had said softly.

Charlie had pretended not to hear him. "If you require a larger ceremony, there is also the Town
Hall, which can cater for up to one hundred and fifty guests, but it is currently closed for
refurbishment. It should be open agai-"
"I don't need to see anything else." Nick cut across him, still slowly walking around taking in every
aspect of the room. "I think this is perfect."
Charlie was taken aback by Nick's sudden certainty. "OK, well you are more than welcome to head
down to my office and we can check if the dates you're after are available. Alternatively if you
want to talk it over with anyone, I'll give you my email address and you can contact me."
Nick stopped moving and looked at Charlie slightly confused. "I've got your email already Char."
"No, I mean my work email" Charlie said, awkwardly. "Best to keep this all professional."
Charlie thought he briefly saw a flash of emotion pass accross Nick's face, however Nick gave
Charlie an embarrassed smile and ran his hand along the back of his neck. "Oh yeah, of course."
The two men set off back down the stairs towards the reception, chatting easily again about their
families and Nick's work. Charlie was shocked and surprised to find how much he enjoyed being in
Nick's company again. He was careful, however, to deliberately swerve the topic of the wedding
itself.
"So do I just email you to book the room?" Nick asked once they had arrived back at reception.
"Exactly" said Charlie, reverting to professional mode again. "Send me an email once you've
decided on a date, and I'll come back to you as soon as possible to let you know if the room is
available then. If it is, you then need to call and pay a £40 booking fee. Thats it!" Charlie handed
the wedding guide to Nick. "There is loads of information in here, and I jotted my email down on
the inside cover for you."
Nick flicked quickly through the pages, then looked at Charlie. Charlie got the impression Nick
wanted to say something, but couldn't quite find the words.
"Char- Charlie." He started. Then looked down at his feet. Nick was chewing on his bottom lip,
and Charlie felt his cheeks burn at the thought of Nick's soft, plump, lips.
Suddenly, and without warning, Nick wrapped his arms around Charlie and pulled him into a
strong hug. Charlie initially tensed from the shock, but quickly softened as his body reacted to the
familiar, comforting sensation of a Nick Nelson Hug. He had forgotten how wonderful these hugs
could be. Charlie's heart began thumping harder in his chest, so much so he would have been
surprised if Nick couldn't feel it. He brought his arms up and wrapped them around Nick too,
squeezing him tightly, breathing in the smell of Nick: comforting and calming. He felt Nick's chest
expand as he also took a deep breath in.
How long they stayed in the embrace Charlie wasn't sure. But suddenly Nick pulled away, and took
a step backwards. Charlie noticed a tension in Nick's face, and his dark eyes were looking
anywhere but directly at Charlie. "Thanks for the tour Char." He said briskly. "I'll be in touch." He
turned quickly and headed towards the exit, his head slumped. Charlie was sure he heard Nick
mutter a quiet "Shit" before he disappeared from view.
Charlie stared at the spot where Nick had just been stood. What was that? he thought to himself.
He had assumed the weirdest part of the tour was going to be showing his ex the rooms, but it
turned out the goodbye was weirder. Charlie felt an ache in his chest. He hadn't seen Nick in so
long, and now he felt an intense longing to see him again. Charlie looked up at the doorway Nick
had just exited through. Should he follow him? Check Nick is alright?
"Ehem" said a small voice from just behind Charlie's left ear. Charlie jumped and spun around.
"Jesus Kim!" He said to his colleague, who was stood with her arms folded and a very suspicious
expression on her face.
"You doing a new sales technique?" She joked "Book a wedding and get an intense hug thrown
in?"
Charlie gave a small laugh to cover up his embarrassment at a colleague noticing him and Nick.
"Who is Mr Muscle then?" Kim asked, as the two of them headed back towards their offices.
"Just someone I know from school." Charlie said. Well, it isn't exactly a lie, he thought. "I hadn't
seen him in years."
"If he ever wants to call by again, he's got Heather in reception all worked up. She's been telling
everyone all about the good looking groom!" Kim laughed. "I only came down to get a look at
him!"
Charlie laughed, but there was no smile to go with it. "Anyway," He said a little too cheerily as he
opened his office door "I'd better get on. Lots to do." He entered his office, closed the door behind
him and let out one soft sob, and his eyes finally allowed the tears he had been holding back since
Nick left to fall.
Chapter 3
Chapter Notes
Trigger warnings
It's a registrars so death is talked about. There is one brief mention of still birth and
miscarriages.
Two days went by without any contact from Nick. Charlie was not sure if he was devastated by
this, or relieved.
Every time a new email landed in his inbox, Charlie's stomach would lurch with anticipation.
Nick had also occupied Charlie's mind outside of work. He had laid in bed last night, unable to
switch his mind off. He ran through every moment of their conversation on repeat, analysing every
word they said to each other. Charlie had only to close his eyes and he could see Nick's smiling
face, laughing at something trivial that Charlie had said. He could still feel where Nick had
embraced him, as though the mere touch of Nick had burned a pressure mark onto Charlie's skin.
He thought of Nick wrapping those strong arms around him again, leaning towards him, his soft
lips connecting with Charlie's. He berated himself for allowing his thoughts to run wild. Nick is
engaged, he told himself. Nick is happy.
***
To: c.spring@leeds.gov.uk
From: n.nelson@greenfieldsprimary.sch.uk
Subject: ceremony booking
Wednesday 18th January 2023, 08:03
Hi Charlie
Thank you again for the tour the other day. It was so good to see you.
I'm so glad you have found a job you love. You spoke with so much passion about the role,
and the history behind it. It was great to see you so excited about it
Could you let me know if the Bennett Suite is available either Thursday April 15th, or Friday
April 16th?
Look forward to hearing from you soon
Nick
Nicholas Nelson
Senior Teacher and SENCO
Green Fields Primary School
Kippax Road
Garforth
Leeds
_____
To: n.nelson@greenfieldsprimary.sch.uk
From: c.spring@leeds.gov.uk
Subject: RE ceremony booking
Hi Nick no too casual, it's still a work email
Dear Mr Nelson
Good afternoon Mr Nelson nope. Nope nope nope.
Dear Nick,
Unfortunately April 16th is fully booked, however I can offer a ceremony on April 15th at
either 11.30am or 3pm.
I will keep these two times blocked for you until close of business tomorrow. Please let me
know which one you want.
You will also need to complete the form I have attached, and pay the non-refundable booking
fee of £40.
Please call the number on the bottom of the form (this will bring you directly through to
myself) to make the payment.
Charlie paused. Normally at this point he ended these emails, however he wasn't normally sending
these emails to a person he had such history with. The person he had lost his virginity to, lived
with, loved more than anyone else.
Part of him thought he should leave it as it was, but he felt compelled to write more. His hands
tentatively began to type.
Thank you for your kind words about work. I really do love this job, and so it was nice to
know it shows when I'm talking about it!
It was really nice to see you again too. I'm so glad your mum is doing OK- when you speak to
her next please send her my love.
Hope your day is going well, and year six aren't too much of a handful today!
Thanks,
Charlie
Charles Spring
Deputy Registration Officer
Leeds City Council
Charlie clicked send on his email quickly, not allowing himself the time to over think what he had
written.
The office was cold again. Even with the large radiator turned to max, Charlie still had to wear
several layers to stop himself shivering. The sky outside was dark and stormy. No one would know
it was the middle of the day.
He could hear Kim undertaking a death registration in the room next door. Charlie had passed the
next of kin waiting in the corridor earlier. It was an elderly man in a wheelchair who was here to
register his late husband, and sounded as though he was crying. Charlie stopped clicking through
his emails to listen. He didn't make a habit of eavesdropping, but something about this one made
him.
"He was my whole world." The man was saying. "We've been together since I was eighteen. I don't
really know life without Bill."
"Blimey. That's a long time!" He heard Kim say, non commitedly. He knew from experience that
she was letting him talk while she completed lots of admin, printed forms, and signed the death
certificates, so she was probably only half listening to him.
"We met doing our National Service. Obviously we didnt let anyone know for years. It wasn't legal
then you see."
"What wasn't?" Kim asked.
"Us. Men in love."
"It wasn't?"
Charlie rolled his eyes. Kim was lovely, but she was also a straight, cis white women. She was
completely oblivious to the ease with which people like her have always existed.
"Not until the late 1960s. Even then you had to be careful. Two working class lads from
Middleton? If people knew, well you'd likely be beaten up. Bill was a miner. He was pressed close
to men all day every day in confined spaces for god sake. If they knew he was gay they could have
had him fired. Or worse."
"That's awful" Kim said quietly.
Charlie moved from his desk towards the interconnecting door in order to hear better.
"By the time it was legal we'd been living together for years. I think our families knew we were
more than friendly companions, but it was never talked about. We were just two bachelors who
shared a house. He certainly was never invited to family events."
"That's awful. You just have been very much in love to stay together for so long." Kim said gently.
"Oh yes." The man whispered. "We got married here you know."
"You did?"
"As soon as we were able to. Just the two of us, and two of our dearest friends to witness. It didn't
need to be a big fuss. We'd lived our whole life in secret, quietly together. We didn't need a huge
do. We just wanted to be officially together, legally in love in a way no one could deny."
Charlie felt a single tear run down his cheek.
There was a silence from the room next door, followed by the noise of a nose being blown loudly.
"Sorry" the man mumbled. "I just don't know how to exist now. We're in our eighties, been
together over sixty years. He always joked we should go together because neither coped well
without the other. What do I do now?"
Kim started going through support available with the man, grief counselling, and local communtiy
groups.
Charlie had heard enough. He moved back to his desk and put his head on his hands. His heart
broke for the man in the room next door. Part of the difficulties of registering deaths is to not take
on other people's grief, and to keep as professional as possible. Occasionally, however, a person
would come to the offices with a story that would affect anyone who heard it; the mother who
suffered a still birth after three previous miscarriages; the immigrant who's father passed away on
his first ever visit to the UK to meet his grandson; the fiance who wailed when told he couldn't be
the informant for his partner that was killed in a car accident as they weren't yet married. Charlie
had heard them all and, when alone, cried for them all.
This was one of those appointments.
Charlie suddenly felt hot. Too hot. He quickly removed his coat and scarf, turned the radiator
down and flung open a window to let the freezing January air hit him. He stuck his hand out of the
window and watched the icy rain bounce of his hand. The sudden change in temperature shocked
him out of being overwhelmed by sadness for the man next door.
Charlie sat back at his desk, taking a deep breath and breathing out slowly. He stared blankly at the
marked wood of the desktop. Blue ink, clearly spilt from a fountain pen, had dried in a wobbly
blob. Attempts made to scrub it away had only caused the ink to seal itself in the grooves of the
wood. Charlie's eyes followed the wavy blue lines along the desk. He thought they looked like
veins.
Charlie loved using fountain pens in this job. He felt it gave a sense of occasion and gravitas to the
simple act of writing a signature. He couldn't deny that fountain pens also have fond memories
attached to them. At least once a fortnight he would remember the early days of getting to know
Nick. Nick had owned a very unreliable and old fountain pen and the nib had snapped. Ink
cascaded all over his shirt and the table. As he made futile attempts to mop up the damage, Nick
ended up with hands stained so blue they looked like surgical gloves. Charlie had told all of his
colleagues this story - A heavily edited version where he failed to mention who Nick was, or that
Charlie had relished that first being time alone with him in the bathrooms, while Nick furiously
tried to scrub the ink off. It was from that moment, as he and Nick bantered back and forth, that
Charlie's intial embarrassing crush on Nick truly began.
The laptop pinged, alerting Charlie to a new email and bringing him crashing back to the present.
Charlie's stomach flipflopped as he saw the sender.
Subject: RE: RE: ceremony booking
Hi Charlie
Thanks for coming back to me so quickly. I've attached the form you requested. Could you
book the 11.30 ceremony please?
I won't be able to call to make the payment until tomorrow unfortunately. Is that going to be
ok? I've got a hour between 12-1 where I'm not teaching so should be able to call you then.
Looking forward to talking to you
Nick
Nicholas Nelson
Green fields Primary School
Kippax Road
Garforth
Leeds
Looking forward to talking to you. Charlie stared at that last sentence for far too long. He didn't
open the attachment. He didn't want to read who Nick was marrying, happy to extend the
ridiculous hope that Nick had felt the same warmth and comfort Charlie had when they last met.
He didn't want the name of Nick's fiance to extinguish that tiny beacon. If he knew their name,
knew any of the details, he couldn't keep up the fantasy that Nick looking forward to talking to
him, was not just to arrange his wedding.
Without warning, Charlie began to cry again. He could feel the familiar prickling of heat beginning
to rise from his feet, up through his body. He could feel his breath getting shallower.
He couldn't be on his own for what he knew was about to happen.
Kim's appointment had finished. Charlie knocked on the door and immediately walked through.
She was bent over her desk reading something "ey up Charlie boy" she said, not looking up. "You
need to see this inquest. It's the one in Armley where we've had the fact of death for months. Turns
out he -" she looked up and immediately looked worried "Charlie? What's wrong?"
"Mr Muscle." Charlie mumbled, as his breathing hitched.
"The cleaning stuff?"
"No. The man. The man from the other day." The world was starting to blur around him. He knew
what was coming. His breathing was in quick, rapid breaths now, and he was feeling lightheaded.
He made to grab the arm of one of the chairs by Kim's desk to ground himself in reality. Images
started swimming in front of his eyes. Disjointed, rapid images. Nick's face. But it held non of its
usual softness. This Nick was harsh and sharp looking. "You thought I still liked you?" Nick
hissed. The image changed. It merged to Nick, with his arms around an nondescript individual.
Nick kissed the person hard, pulling their body flush against his, moaning loudly. The figure ran
their hands along Nick's arms, down his chest, around his bum, everywhere. Nick trailed his lips
along their jawline and down their neck. Nick moaned and groaned louder. Charlie felt sick. His
chest felt tight, too tight. Charlie was dying, he was sure of it.
Nick was speaking again. "I thought I knew what love was," He whispered to the figure as he
kissed their neck ferociously "I was wrong. I have never been in love before you." A loud ringing
noise was hurting Charlie's ears. He tried to run, but couldn't. Nick laughed, but it wasn't his
familiar, deep chuckle. It was cold and loud and booming. The ringing got louder as the image
changed again. Nick stood at the end of an aisle, he was scowling at Charlie. "I told you to stay the
fuck away." He spat.
"Charlie!" A far away voice cried.
"Are you obsessed with me or something? You're fucking pathetic."
"Charlie!" The voice was closer now.
Nick was starting to blur, and fade. The ringing was softening, and Charlie could feel a weight
pressing on his back.
"Charlie!" The voice said again, and Kim's pale face came into focus. "There you are." She said
with a smile that didn't quite mask the concern in her eyes.
"Wha- what happened?" Charlie said hoarsely.
They were sat on the floor of Kim's office, their backs leant against the wall and their feet
outstretched in front of them. Kim was holding Charlie's hand, softly stroking his knuckles. "You
had a panic attack, and fainted."
Charlie could feel sweat trickling down his forehead. "What time is it?" He said, has he forced
himself to breath slowly. "What about your appointments?"
Kim placed her hand on Charlie's shoulder "Steve's doing them. I wasn't going to leave you." She
handed Charlie a glass of water. "Here, drink it slowly" she said gently, as if worried Charlie might
break.
As Charlie took a small sip, she continued to stroke his hand. After a pause, she hesitantly asked
"Do you want to tell me what that was about?"
Charlie leant his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. His brain felt foggy, and drained.
"Nick Nelson." He said at last.
"The man from the other day?"
Charlie made a small noise in the affirmative. Everything felt sluggish now. He knew he was
speaking slowly, probably at an infuriating pace for the listener. "When I told you I knew him from
school, that wasn't a lie. But there's a bit more to it than that."
Kim gave a soft snort. "Yes, the incredibly long hug, and intense staring did rather give that away."
Charlie opened one eye and briefly looked at her, before closing it again. The lights hurt his
exhausted head, and it was easier to speak all of this without seeing Kim's reactions. "He's my ex
boyfriend."
"How long were you together?"
"Years. About a decade. Then broke up about four years ago."
"Bloody hell Charlie, when you got together you must have been babies."
"Mmm," Charlie hummed. "I was fourteen."
There was silence as Charlie took another sip of his water. Kim returned to stroking Charlie's
knuckles. The feeling was nice and reassuring.
"We were together so long, and we loved each other so much. I loved him. But I realised I didn't
know how to exist without him. I'd never made choices in life that didn't revolve around Nick. I
was... I was quite sick as a teenager and Nick helped me through it. I think I became dependent on
him in a way that probably wasn't very fair on either of us. He was the one who made the big
decisions, and I followed along. He moved to Leeds for uni, and a year later I did the same. The
year he'd had up here without me meant he'd already made friends, and knew where the best bars
were, where he wanted to live. I just sort of...slotted in to that. I didn't need to make my own
friends, or explore Leeds for myself - Nick had done it all for me."
Charlie took another sip of water, and slowly opened his eyes. Kim was still sat next to him but had
shifted slightly to place an arm around Charlie's shoulders. Charlie leant into her and rested his
head against her. "I knew I needed to learn to look after myself. I had drifted after uni in shit jobs
that I hated, and I resented Nick. Also i was being lazy to expect Nick to run my life. So I left. But I
have never stopped loving him. No one has ever taken his place." Charlie sniffed and wiped his
eyes. "Fuck, I still love him."
They sat in silence. Kim softly brushing her hand back and forth on Charlie's shoulder to comfort
him.
"And now he's getting married?" Kim asked quietly.
Charlie sniffed a noise to agree. "I always sort of selfishly assumed... Well I thought...now I've
sorted myself out and learnt to stand on my own..." He sniffed again and use the sleeve of his
jumper to wipe the wetness from his cheeks.
"That you'd get back together?"
Charlie sighed. "I know it's probably stupid to assume he wouldn't have moved on. It's been four
years and it's not exactly like I've been a monk. I just always thought we'd find our way back to
each other."
Kim didn't reply. Charlie got the impression she didn't know what the right thing to say was.
Charlie felt tired. His limbs were heavy, and his mind foggy. It took a mountain of energy to just
lift the glass of water to his lips.
"I think you should go home" Kim said at last.
Charlie sat up and looked at her, fear in his eyes. "I can't! I had a panic attack because I'm still
patheticly in love with my ex boyfriend? People can't know that."
Kim took the (now empty) glass from Charlie "No one needs to know why. Only you've fainted
and I still don't think you look that well. I think you need to go home and rest, and jess agrees with
me. Steve is already taking my appointments, so I'm going to finish up your stuff for today." She
stood, and then helped Charlie to stand, guided him over to the chair and sat him down. Charlie
had to admit defeat. He was really drained, and didn't have enough energy to argue further, so
allowed Kim to call an Uber for him.
That night Charlie lay in bed, exhausted, but unable to sleep. Kim had come to check on him after
work, staying long enough to ensure he had eaten, and to reassure him that she had kept on top of
his work, and that she had set the details from Nick's booking form in the diary so he didn't have to.
Charlie knew he would still have to deal with Nick calling to pay, but he planned to keep that
conversation as short as possible.
Yes, he decided, Nick Nelson was getting married, and he had a much right as anyone else to get
married at the registration office. Charlie curled himself into a ball on his side, and resolved to be
nothing but professional about this, if only to protect himself.
Chapter 4
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
To: k.brownly@leeds.gov.uk
Cc: c.spring@leeds.gov.uk
Thursday 19th January 2023, 07:56
Dear Kim
Thank you very much for your quick response. Glad to know it's all officially on the system
and, all I've got to do is pay up for this to happen!
I will call Charlie today to make the payment
Kind regards,
Nicholas Nelson
Kippax Road
Garforth
Leeds
***
Hi Charlie,
Kim sent me an email confirming she's scheduled the wedding up on your system.
I hope you don't mind, she mentioned you weren't well yesterday so that's why she replied to
me. I hope you're OK?
I'll call today at some point between 12-1 to make the booking payment, so hopefully catch up
with you then.
Nick
Nicholas Nelson
Kippax Road
Garforth
Leeds
***
At exactly one minute past midday Charlie's phone rang. It hadn't been the most productive
morning for Charlie, and he was currently staring blank faced at a inbox full of enquiries and
demands from couples, venues, and the General Registration Office. He was suffering from lack of
sleep, coupled with the inevitable exhaustion that he always had after a panic attack, so without
considering who could be calling, he answered, groggily.
"Good afternoon Leeds Registration Service, how can I help?"
"Oh hi. Err, is that Charlie?"
"Nick?" Charlie's eyes widened and he checked the time. How was it already midday?
"Have I called at a bad time?" Nick asked
"No, no not at all" Charlie scrambled around to get the things he needed for taking Nick's payment.
His stupid heart was doing somersaults of joy at the mere sound of Nick's voice. "So I've got
everything ready to ta-"
"Are you feeling better?" Nick asked, as if Charlie wasn't in the middle of a sentence.
"Oh". Charlie panicked. "Yes, a bit. Sorry I didn't get chance to reply."
"What was wrong?" Nick asked, and then immediately followed this with "Oh wow, sorry that was
rude of me. You don't have to tell me. I just wanted to make sure you were OK."
Charlie smiled in spite of himself. Hearing Nick flustered was completely ruining his plan to keep
everything professional. He'd always loved it when Nick got like that, especially if it was Charlie
causing it. He loved watching Nick's porcelain skin tinge pink, and his deep brown eyes widen as
he would splutter and ramble in response to whatever Charlie had said or done.
"Thanks for checking Nick." Charlie said, "Honestly I'm fine, just had a bit of a funny turn and
went a bit faint."
"You fainted?!" Nick practically shouted this down the phone. "Why? What happened? Have you
been eating OK?"
"Nick." Charlie said calmly, but firmly "I'm fine."
There was a pause. Nick gave a little sigh. "Good. I'm glad you're better."
"So...payment?" Charlie said.
"Oh shit yeah, that's why I called!" Nick sounded all flustered again, making Charlie internally
giggle.
The two of them went through the process of sorting the booking fee. Once it had been paid,
Charlie quickly went over what needs to happen next - the legal processes of giving notice, when
the next payment was due etc, after which Nick asked him "Do you still do the Parkrun at Temple
Newsam?"
"What?"
"Parkrun. Do you still do it?"
"Yes..." Charlie replied, not sure where this was going, but glad he had an excuse to talk to Nick
for longer.
Nick said. "I was there last weekend walking Henry, and thought I saw you run past."
Charlie smiled, he had not forgotten Nick's cheeky pug Henry. Henry had migrated from being
Nick's dog, to their dog, and back to exclusively Nick's again when they broke up. Charlie missed
the troublesome pup and his habit of burrowing under the duvet in the mornings to lie on Charlie's
feet. Charlie had to admit that thermal socks just didn't do as good a job at keeping the cold away.
"How is Henry? I wonder if he remembers me."
"I'm sure he does" Nick said earnestly "he was the one who made me look up as you ran past. He
started barking like crazy!"
"Do you often walk him around there?" Charlie asked
"Not really." Nick replied "I hadn't been there in ages, but I was going into work to do some
displays in the afternoon. Its on the way, so I thought I'd try and tire the little rascal out so he could
sleep while I worked."
There was a pause before Nick said "I'm, err, I'm planning on doing some more work on the
displays this Saturday too, so was going to be doing the same thing if y-"
"Charlie!" Jess marched into Charlie's office without knocking, causing Charlie to jump. "Need to
discuss something with you in my office" she whispered to him.
Charlie nodded and then heard his voice come out unnaturally high pitched as he said "So Mr
Nelson, is there's anything else I can help you with?"
"What?" Nick said, confused.
"Great, well I will email you a copy of the receipt for the booking fee, and will contact you again
when you and your fiance need to book to give notice. Thanks a lot for the call, bye." He put the
phone down, without waiting for Nick to respond, and followed Jess out the office.
Had Nick been about to ask Charlie to meet up with him? Was Nick asking him out? Surely not,
Charlie thought. If there is one thing you can say about Nick Nelson, it's that he is a fiercely loyal
person. No way would he entertain dating on the sly while engaged to someone else. Would he?
***
Subject: receipt
Dear Nick
Thank you for your call this afternoon. Please find attached a copy of the receipt for payment
of your booking fee.
Sorry I had to leave so abruptly - my boss needed to see me about something urgently and I
didn't want her to think I was just chatting.
Thanks again,
Charlie
Charles Spring
Leeds City Council
***
Subject: RE: receipt
Hi Charlie
Thanks for sending that through. Hope I didn't get you in trouble!
Just wanted to ask one thing, not that I've been overthinking our conversations at all, but you
said me and my fiance would need to give notice ...did you get chance to read the booking
form before you went home sick yesterday?
I'll be at Temple Newsam on Saturday if you wanted a hot drink in the cafe after your run.
I'm sure Henry would love to see you!
N
Nicholas Nelson
Kippax Road
Garforth
Leeds
Charlie was just about to log off for the day when Nick's reply had come in. He quickly read it
twice, before heading to look at Nick's ceremony booking.
He opened the booking form and read it.
Then read it again.
And again.
His jaw dropped with surprise, and his heart leapt in his chest. "What?" He said quietly to himself
"Why didn't he tell me?"
Chapter End Notes
Temple Newsam is a real place in Leeds. It's a stately home with a farm you can go
round (which, for any Emmerdale fans, was the original outside shooting location for
Emmerdale farm), go ape, play areas, and huge expanses of parkland to explore which
is free to go to. It's really beautiful and is always full of dog walkers, or mums with
prams and picnics!
Chapter 5
Chapter Summary
What was on the booking form? It's time to find out...
Subject: form
Friday 20th January 2023, 08:05
Hi Nick
So I have now read the form.
Can you please explain to me why you are paying for Tara and Darcy's wedding?
Charlie
Charles Spring
Leeds City Council
Charlie had spent yet another night thinking about Nick. But, unlike the previous few nights, last
night had been much more enjoyable. Given the knowledge the the wedding was not, in fact,
Nick's, Charlie had allowed his mind to wander into scenarios he had been denying himself so far.
After an unusually restful night's sleep, Charlie had woken feeling more energised than he had in
weeks. It was still a freezing January morning, and Charlie had several layers on, but he willingly
leapt out of bed as soon as his alarm sounded rather than snoozing it for as long as possible.
Nick isn't getting married. He hummed to himself while pouring cereal into a bowl.
Nick isn't getting married. He smiled, while sat on the top deck of the crowded bus.
Nick isn't getting married! He internally screamed as he walked into the council offices.
He was unusually early to work that day. Normally he trudged in just on time, with a droopy face in
need of tea. Today, however, Charlie was energised and smiley.
He was aware that the reason for being so cheery was pathetic. Just because Nick wasn't getting
married, did not mean he and Charlie were destined to return to each other, but Charlie was still
very relieved to not have to watch Nick dedicate the rest of his life to someone else.
"You're in a good mood today?" Kim said as she hung her coat up in her office. "Feeling better?"
Charlie leant against the door frame between their offices, smiling at her. "Morning Kimberly.
Brew?"
"God yes!" She grinned and scooped up her dirty mug from yesterday, still sat on her desk.
Standing in the office kitchen making tea, Kim filled Charlie in on her youngest's latest drama from
nursery.
Charlie was only half listening. A thought had occurred to him last night, and he had been meaning
to ask Kim about it.
"Why didn't you tell me it isn't Nick getting married?" He asked her as she handed him his mug.
Kim turned back round to the kitchen counter and began adding four heaped spoonfuls of sugar
into her tea. Four spoonfuls. Charlie could never understand how she drank tea when it was so
sweet. He had accidentally drank out of her mug once and dramatically spat it back out, showering
paperwork.
"Well," Kim said, still stirring her tea and not looking at Charlie "I didn't think you could have
coped with any extra information on Wednesday, after everything that happened. And on
Thursday...I forgot." She stopped stirring, but didn't look away from her mug. "Sorry." She added
as an afterthought. She hadn't forgotten, Charlie was sure of it, but he couldn't fathom why she
hadn't told him.
"You could have saved me a lot of heartache and sleepless nights" Charlie said.
Kim frowned "But Charlie, what difference does it make? You hadn't seen him in years. He might
not feel the same way, and just because he isn't getting married, doesn't mean he's single.
"You need to find out what the situation is for Nick," Kim added sternly, now look up from her tea
"before you get carried away. I was very worried the other day, and don't want to see you like that
again. I'm sure Nick is a nice person, but is it worth getting hurt over?"
***
Subject: RE: form
Hi Char
My class are currently watching a video about life on the home front in world war two. They
have a field trip to Eden Camp booked soon. (A ww2 museum. We all have to go dressed up.
I'm dreading it!) Anyway, while they're all sitting quietly I thought I'd take the time to reply
to you.
I can't believe you thought I was getting married! I'm sorry. That must have been very
awkward for you when you were doing the tour. I am so far away from getting married!!
(But if I ever get to that point I'm thinking of booking the Bennett suite!)
I promise I did say I was looking at venues for some friends when I booked. That must not
have been passed on.
I'm so sorry.
If you still fancied a cup of tea after your run on the weekend, I promise I'll explain it all to
you then.
To be honest you'd better be up for it, I've told Henry we're seeing you, and you wouldn't
want to make such a happy dog sad would you?
Right I'd better go. I can see two boys at the back flicking each other with rulers. Time to put
on my stern teacher voice and take away some house points.
Looking forward to seeing you.
Nicholas Nelson
Kippax Road
Garforth
Leeds
***
Subject: form

Hi Nick
See you in the cafe tomorrow. I've normally finished the run by 10.
Looking forward to Henry cuddles!
Charles Spring
Leeds City Council
As Charlie was packing his bags to finish that night, Kim reappeared in the interconnecting
doorway. "Any plans for the weekend Charlie boy?" She asked as she rammed her purple bobble
hat on her head.
Charlie shrugged. "Parkrun tomorrow, food shopping. Oh my friend is performing in Bradford on

Sunday night so I was hoping to meet up with him during the day." He had deliberately left out the
fact that he was meeting up with Nick. Given Kim's warnings earlier today, Charlie didn't feel she
would react to this positively.
"Well, enjoy" she said as she flung her huge bag over her shoulder "I've got the joys of a kid's soft
play party at ten in the morning on Saturday, and in the evening I've got to endure a family meal
out to celebrate Darren's mum's retirement." Darren was Kim's boyfriend. Charlie had met him
several times over the years, and thought he was very nice, if a little dim. He clearly doted on Kim,
and had actually asked her to marry him twice. She turned him down both times though, telling
Charlie that she didn't think he meant it. The two times he had asked her was moments after she
had given birth to their sons, and she said he was only asking as he was riding a wave of
adrenaline, and not because he actually wanted to get married. Since he last proposed, every family
gathering was made more awkward for Kim as Darren's mum had a habit of bringing it up, and
asking when they were actually planning on getting married. "Darren and me have been taking bets
on how many times his mum lands a dig about the fact we've got two kids but aren't married." She
grumbled. "Anyway, night Charlie. See you Monday."
Charlie waved bye and continued gathering his things. He put his headphones on and headed for
the bus stop.
Once home, Charlie dumped his bag and coat in the hallway before heading to the kitchen to cook
his stir fry dinner.
His two housemates, Lewis and Anthony usually kept to themselves, which suited Charlie. They
were both younger than him. Recent graduates who, like he had been, were not inclined to return to
their home towns, favouring instead to pursue careers in Yorkshire. Also like Charlie, both of them
were single. Anthony however, had a friends with benefits situation with a girl from his office.
Charlie had never met her, but he had definitely heard her. Unfortunately he had the bedroom next
door, and would often be woken by moans and squeals in the early hours. This evening it appeared
she had accompanied Anthony home from work, if the noises currently echoing around the house
were anything to go by. Charlie didn't fancy getting any closer to the source of the noise, so once
his food was ready, he took himself into the living room to watch TV while he ate. Charlie didn't
watch much TV really, preferring to read and listen to music. But as he wasn't planning on going
anywhere near his bedroom at the moment to retrieve his book, The One Show would have to do.
Just as the show's theme music started, Charlie heard movement outside of the living room door.
Anthony and the girl had clearly finished.
"See you tomorrow Ant" the girl voice said.
"Will do." Anthony replied in his thick scouse accent "Thanks again."
The front door closed with a loud click, and then Anthony appeared in the living room. Despite the
cold temperatures, he was only wearing a pair of football shorts. Tall, skinny, and very freckley,
Anthony was clearly still riding a post orgasm high judging by the daft grin on his face. "Alright
Spring?" He smiled at Charlie as he threw himself down onto the sofa with a flump.
Charlie made a "mmmph" noise as a greeting while chewing his food.
They both watched the TV in silence; listening to the presenter introducing a segment about
decorative man hole covers.
"I love the One Show" Anthony said "The stuff they talk about is batshit crazy."
Once the show had completed this segment, they turned to their celebrity guest - A Hollywood
actor with very white teeth, who was promoting their latest rom-com.
"Now Simon," the Welsh presenter was saying "Your new film, which is out tomorrow, and is
fabulous by the way, is all about second chances isn't it?"
"That's right" the actor replied, all smiles and teeth. "It's about a couple who had a history, but for
good reasons it didn't work out. And now they're older, maybe not wiser, but they meet again and
feel that old spark. Is it worth a second chance? Will they make it work this time around? Who
knows?"
The presenter laughed and introduced a short clip from the film, showing the actor and a blonde
actress meeting on a train, where they conveniently had ended up with seats opposite each other on
a four hour journey.
Charlie was watching the clip intensely. Would the couple work out this time around? How did
they end up together again?
Anthony cut across Charlie's thoughts "Urgh. This looks shite. All of his films are the same. 'Will
they? Won't they? Surprise! They will!' Rubbish..." He stood up and headed to the kitchen.
"Yeah." Charlie agreed, but secretly he planned a solo cinema trip one night next week.
Chapter 6
Charlie could feel his heart pounding hard in his chest as he ran up the hill towards Temple
Newsam house. He could see the finish line at the top, forcing himself to power through the final
furlong. Doing Parkrun had been the suggestion of his therapist years ago when Charlie had
struggled mentally post university. He found it so cathartic to shut out the outside world and focus
on his breathing and simply putting one foot in front of the other, that it was worth getting out of
bed early on a Saturday for, and he religiously kept it up every week.
With a final push, Charlie overtook one last runner as he crossed the line.
Feeling the rush from completing in what (he hoped) was a very good time, but unable to pretend it
had been easy, Charlie stood doubled over, hands on his knees as he took deep breaths, trying to
slow his heart rate, and swallow the bitter salty taste that had built up at the back of his throat.
Adrenaline subsiding, he scanned his bar code, and was pleased to see he had hit a personal best
today. He grabbed his bag and coat, waved bye to some of his running buddies, and headed
towards the old stables courtyard where the cafe is. Normally he hung around for a catch up with
the running crowd, but not today. Today he was meeting up with Nick Nelson for the first time
since he discovered Nick wasn't getting married. Charlie was excited and nervous. His stomach
was doing somersaults. His legs, still pulsing from the exertion of today's run, were shaking.
Entering the cafe, Charlie immediately saw Nick sat at a table towards the far end of the room with
his back to Charlie. Nick looked altogether too big for the small table he was sat at. His broad
shoulders were hunched forward as he typed away on his phone, and Charlie could see the short
hairs on the back of his neck just peeping out from his dark red jumper. He had paired the jumper
with a navy gilet, and dark jeans. Charlie smiled that, even in freezing temperatures like today's,
Nick refused to wear a proper coat.
Charlie hovered just inside the cafe door for a moment, taking a few steadying breaths.
"'Scuse me. Are you ordering?" Said a middle aged man stood behind Charlie.
Charlie realised he was completely blocking the queue for the counter. He apologised and quickly
scurried out of the way, towards where Nick was seated.
As he got nearer he could see the tiny figure of Henry the pug, curled up asleep on the floor by
Nick's feet. Nick had got Henry as a puppy at Christmas when he was just seventeen, so he was
getting on in years now. As Charlie got closer he could hear Henry's deep snuffly breathing, and
see the slight grey flecks of fur on his coat.
Nick must have heard Charlie approaching, as he looked around and gave Charlie a beaming smile.
He stood quickly, and accidentally knocked his chair over. The loud crash as it hit the floor caused
Henry to wake suddenly, barking madly at his unknown attacker. This then set off a chain reaction
in every dog at the cafe, until the entire room was a cacophony of booming barks, and high pitched
yaps.
"Oh shit." Nick said, as he flushed a deep red colour and quickly picked up the chair "Henry,
shush!" He said to the small dog, who immediately stopped his barking, and lay back down.
"Hi." Nick finally said to Charlie. He ran a hand along the back of his neck, out of embarrassment.
"How was your run?" Nick pulled his chair out and went to sit down.
Charlie smiled what he hoped was a reassuring smile and took a seat in the chair opposite Nick.
"Good, thanks. I got a PB"
Several dog owners were still desperately trying (without much success) to calm their noisy pets. A
large shaggy black dog with a very deep bark was being particularly vocal, which in turn was
scaring a tiny toddler who was crying loudly. Nick looked guiltily around the room.
"Do you want to get our drinks as take outs?" Charlie asked, sensing Nick might want to distance
himself from the chaos and annoyed looks surrounding them.
"Good idea. What can I get you?" Nick stood again, slowly this time, and picked up Henry's lead.
"Just a tea please." Charlie said.
Nick held the lead out to Charlie "Will you take Henry outside while I get the drinks?"
"An excuse for alone time with my favourite pug? Course I will!" Charlie took Henry's lead and
led him to the door "Come on Henry, dad will be along in a moment."
Henry followed Charlie outside obediently, slowly trotting along behind him. Charlie could tell
Henry's gait was slower than it had been four years ago, and was surprised by quite how much he
had aged in that time. A fleeting worry about how Nick would cope when Henry eventually dies
crossed Charlie mind. When Nick's childhood dog Nellie had died six years ago, Nick had been
inconsolable. Charlie and Nick had travelled back to Kent after she'd died to be with his mum.
Sarah wanted the boys to accompany her to scatter Nellie's ashes at a spot on her favourite
woodland walk. Nick had sobbed the whole time and couldn't speak to anyone until the next
morning.
Charlie bent down to scratch the top of Henry's head, and was rewarded with a happy lick on his
arm. "Do you remember me, my beautiful boy?" Charlie said to him. The pug snorted in return and
nuzzled against Charlie's hand.
After a few more minutes of joyful doggie cuddles, Nick wandered out of the cafe door, two
takeaway cups clutched in his hands. He smiled brightly at Charlie and Henry. The January wind
was ruffling his hair, and his deep brown eyes were bright with happiness. He looked beautiful.
Charlie suddenly became very conscious of how scruffy he must look in his sweaty running outfit,
with his hair unkempt, and hastily pulled back with a headband. Next to Nick he must look a mess.
"I told you Henry would be happy to see you" Nick said as he handed one of the cups to Charlie.
"I've taken your teabag out already if that's OK? I assume you still have patheticly weak tea?"
Charlie nodded. "Thanks." He took a small sip to check the temperature. It was still too hot for him
to drink, but unsurprisingly, Nick immediately took a huge gulp from his. Nick used to tell Charlie
that his ability to eat and drink stuff that was piping hot was his superpower. Charlie used to tell
Nick that he simply had no patience.
The two men walked together out of the courtyard and down the small hill towards the lake. They
paused a couple of times for Henry to sniff the leg of a bench or a tree trunk where another dog had
been. Despite being a very cold day, it was sunny and therefore there were lots of families out
enjoying their weekend. Nick laughed as a toddler with ginger curls poking out the bottom of his
Thomas The Tank Engine crash helmet came speeding past them on his balance bike heading
downhill, his legs stretched out in front of him as he cried "weeeee!" A very harrased looking
mother was chasing after him shouting "Archie! Slow down!"
On reaching the lake, the two men sat on a bench to drink their teas. Nick scooped Henry up and
sat him between them. Charlie absentmindedly scratched the pug on the top of his head, and closed
his eyes, enjoying the sun on his face. He was surprised with how comfortable and domestic this
felt. There was none of the awkwardness of their previous meeting. This time Charlie felt tranquil.
They conversed easily and freely. Each topic bounced seamlessly to another: anecdotes from Nick's
students, interesting facts Charlie had located in record books, their families, Nick's recent rugby
match, their friends. Not a moment felt awkward or wrong.
"So." Nick said at last. "You wanted to know why I'm paying for Tara and Darcy's wedding."
Charlie could feel his cheeks flush, now the awkwardness was back."You don't have to tell me. It's
not any of my business."
"Char," Nick said, turning his body to face Charlie "It's not a big deal. Darcy proposed a couple of
weeks before they set sail again..."
"Set sail?"
"Oh right, you might not know. So about two years ago Tara got a job on a cruise ship as one of the
dancers. Darcy didn't want to be left behind so she got a job in one of the bars. They've been
working on the ships since. They go all over the world."
Charlie nodded. That explained the exotic photos that would occasionally appear on Darcy's
Instagram stories. He had assumed they were holidaying, and was jealous of their ability to afford
to visit far flung places. It had never occurred to him that they were working.
When Nick and Charlie had broken up, their mutual friends had been subconsciously divided.
There were just some people who, despite being friends to both of them when they were a couple,
were clearly more Nick's friends than Charlie's when they were single. Tara and Darcy were Nick's
friends. Charlie got to be one of their circle as part of a package deal: Buy a Nick Nelson, get a
Charlie Spring free. Post break up, he hardly spoke to them. Darcy's Instagram feed was really the
only window he had into their lives now.
"Darcy's been promoted to the manager of two cocktail bars. So all tose years of her making us
drink terrible concoctions when we were teenagers turned out to just be training for management."
Nick continued.
"They didn't tell anyone they were engaged because they weren't sure when they were going to be
able to get married. As it happens, they have some shore leave for two weeks at the end of
February, so will come stay with me while they do their notice, and then they have a month
between contracts in April so they're getting married then. They're currently somewhere in the
Caribbean so it was a bit tricky for them to do any bookings or view anywhere to get married.
Hence they sent me instead. But I'm not paying for it. They're sending me the money, I'm just the
go between for them."
Charlie took a long gulp of his tea. Archie the toddler came whizzing past them again, his
exhausted mother still in pursuit. Nick gave another deep chuckle as he watched Archie and his
mum disappear around a corner.
"Why Leeds?" Charlie asked. "They're not from here."
"True" Nick nodded "But their ship docks in Hull, so it's only a short journey to get from there to
Leeds, rather than head all the way down to Kent." Nick smiled down at Henry as the pug (who
had fallen asleep again) let out a loud snort. "Darcy isn't inviting any of her family, and Tara's
parents are retired now so are pretty free to travel."
"The decision to get married in Leeds was sealed though when I told them about you." Nick said
quietly.
"Me?"
"They'd pretty much decided on Leeds anyway, but I think the idea of being married by somebody
who actually knows them made them sure it was the right choice."
"Oh... they want me to marry them?" Charlie gave small smile "Well that would be lovely." He
hadn't married anyone he knew yet. He made a mental note to check if he was scheduled to
officiate weddings that day, and if not, make it so.
Archie, zoomed past them again, now going even faster than before. His mother was several feet
behind him looking very out of breath.
"So you see Char, I'm not getting married" Nick chuckled, making eye contact with Charlie.
Charlie could feel his cheeks flushing. Nick's eyes crinkled slightly as he gave Charlie a wide grin.
Charlie looked down at the pug sat between them. Henry had shuffled position in his sleep so that
his head was nuzzled against Charlie's thigh. Charlie stroked the top of the dogs head,
contemplating what he wanted to say next.
Without looking up from Henry, Charlie said timidly "I was...I was pretty devastated when I
thought you were. I couldnt even bring myself to open the booking form as I didnt want to know
who you were marrying."
Nick didn't reply. He downed the last of his tea, and stood up to throw the cup into a nearby bin.
Charlie watched him. Had he said too much? Should he not have admitted that to Nick? Does Nick
now realise how pathetic he is?
Nick's face was impossible to read as he slowly walked back towards where Charlie sat. He wasn't
smiling, but he didn't look unhappy, he looked in deep thought.
He didn't sit down. He stopped in front of Charlie and took hold of his hand. Charlie stood. They
were stood close. So close. Charlie could smell the familiar scent of washing powder, and feel the
heat radiating from the man in front of him. The man who was staring at him so intensely. His
brow furrowed and he looked pained.
"Nick?" Charlie asked quietly
Nick took a deep breath. "Charlie," He whispered softly, as he ran his rough fingers across Charlie's
knuckles.
Charlie swallowed. Was this is? Was Nick going to kiss him? Were they going to try again?
"Archie! Stop!"
The loud voice startled Charlie. It must have done the same to Nick as he quickly took a step
backwards. They both looked around to see where the source of the shout had come from, just in
time to see Archie hurtling directly towards them.
Nick stepped backwards further to allow the toddler through. Archie was cackling with laughter as
he zoomed away down the path. His mother panted an exhausted sounding "Thanks! Sorry!" to the
men as she ran past.
Charlie watched the mother and son for a few moments, and then turned back to look at Nick,
hoping he would close the gap between the two of them again.
One look at Nick however, and Charlie knew their moment had passed. Nick was looking at his
feet and avoiding eye contact. He grabbed Henry's lead and gave it a little tug, waking the dog
from his slumber.
"I have to go to work." Nick said quietly. "I'll... I want to... Bye Char."
Charlie watched, hurt and confused, as Nick turned and quickly set off back towards the car park,
Henry trotting along beside him.
Chapter 7
Chapter Notes
Charlie had been so sure that Saturday was their day. That they would be able to get past the
history and awkwardness to just be Nick and Charlie again.
But it hadn't been.
Nick hadn't kissed him, he hadn't held him, he hadn't told him how he felt.
He was going to say something, Charlie was sure of it. But he didn't. Instead, Charlie was left
devastated and embarrassed. He had confessed to Nick how he felt at the idea of Nick marrying
someone else, and Nick had gone.
Charlie stayed sat by the lake, cold and alone, for some time after Nick's departure. He stared, gaze
unfocused, at the icy water in front of him, his mind a swirl of anxiety and confusion. They had
been stood so close to each other. Surely Nick had felt the same electricity and tension that Charlie
had. What had made Nick back off and leave?
Archie the bike riding toddler zoomed by Charlie again.
Archie.
Charlie watched him bitterly. That child will never know the devastating results of his actions. If
he had only gone around the two men, instead of barrelling through them, Charlie could be kissing
Nick right now. They could be wrapped in each others arms rekindling their romance, they could
be heading to one of their homes to continue getting reacquainted.
Charlie stood and slowly wandered back to the car park, feeling distinctly gloomy. He had arrived
for his run early this morning, having been unable to sleep due to the excitement of seeing Nick, so
he was parked very close. As he opened the driver's side door and dumped his things accross to the
passenger seat, his phone buzzed.
He had been tagged in a picture on Instagram.
UNIVERSE CITY RADIO
Hello I hope someone is listening. Are you listening Bradford?
Spring has sprung and I will see you soon old chap.
Accompanying this caption was a drawing that Charlie instantly recognised as artwork by Frances
Janvier, Aled Last's best friend and colleague. It showed their alter egos, Radio and Toulouser,
from behind. They were driving along a road surrounded by Victorian style industrial mills and
factories. Aled and Frances had been touring with their podcast, Universe City, all across the
country. The show consisted of a live episode, followed by a Q&A with the two of them, and
Charlie had been invited to watch their one in Bradford on Sunday.
Charlie tossed his phone into his car's cup holder and started the engine. He put the car into reverse
and pulled out of his parking space. He was glad he was going to see Aled. It had been too long
since they'd last met up. The continued success of his podcast and subsequent production company,
kept him constantly on the move, and Charlie had only seen him a handful of times in the last few
years. They had drifted apart slightly when school ended, but reconnected again towards the end of
Charlie's time at university. Aled had been through his own mental health struggles and heartbreak,
and it's amazing how trauma can help bond people.
Most importantly, Charlie knew that Aled was someone who took giving advice very seriously. He
was known for only speaking when he had something constructive to add, which meant Aled
would be sure to give a relevant and insightful opinion on what on earth was going on with Nick.
***
Sunday morning Charlie woke to the sound of his phone buzzing three times. He rolled over and
snatched it off the side table, hoping it was Nick. It wasn't.
Aled: morning Charlie, we arrived last night. Staying at a hotel called the village. It's close to
the m62, hope you know where that is!
Aled: I have to be at the theatre by 5.30 tonight. What time do you want to meet?
Aled: Frances is going to stop in so it will just be you and me. She's told me I MUST be back
in time for us to drive to Bradford together.
Charlie smiled. Any disappointment he felt at not hearing from Nick was softened by the thought
of seeing Aled. The hotel he and Frances were staying in was halfway between Charlie's home and
Bradford, so was perfect for them both. He quickly sent a text to Aled:
Charlie: Morning Al, how did the show go in York yesterday? I'm about 20mins from the
village so can pick you up whenever. About 12? I'll drop you back with Frances in time for
you to head to the theatre. Looking forward to seeing you.
Charlie checked the time - 10:30. He never slept this late usually, however he had spent quite a lot
of the night tossing and turning, thinking about his meeting with Nick yesterday, and going over
and over the different things they said, or didn't say, and especially dwelling on those final
minutes, to try and figure out what he did that made Nick change tone so quickly. He hadn't finally
been able to give into sleep until the early hours.
Once showered and dressed, Charlie headed down the stairs.
At the bottom he met his housemate Lewis, who was heading to the living room, still in his
dressing gown and clutching a very full bowl of Coco pops. Lewis was very tall, (Charlie had
noticed he stooped to get through all doors out of habit, even when the door was clearly high
enough for him) with a bushy beard and long ginger hair which he tied in a ponytail, and both arms
were covered in tattoos. Charlie had a lot of time for Lewis as, despite the impression his
appearance gave out, Lewis was a gentle giant who loved musical theatre and had a beautiful
singing voice.
"Morning Spring" Lewis mumbled at him through a mouthful of cereal. "You off out?"
"Meeting a friend for lunch." Charlie said. "Ant not up yet?
"Never came home" Lewis shrugged. "Assume the work drinks spilled over to a night round
whatsherface's"
Charlie grabbed a slice of toast from the kitchen, knowing that despite eating later than his normal
breakfast routine, it was still important he didn't miss a meal and fall into old habits. He made his
way into the living room, where Lewis was now spralled out on the sofa reading a crime novel, the
bowl of cereal long finished.
Charlie sat in the armchair and picked up an old magazine that was lying on the side to flick
through while he munched on his toast.
Lewis, not looking up from his book, asked "Everything OK yesterday Spring?"
Charlie looked up from his magazine "huh?" He replied
"Just checking. You seemed really down when you got in yesterday afternoon."
There was a pause. Charlie and Lewis had never talked about their feelings before. They were just
two people who happened to live in the same house. Their relationship could pretty much be
summed up by one word: banter.
Charlie must have looked incredibly down for Lewis to feel the need for comment.
"Yeah, fine" Charlie lied.
Lewis turned the page of his book lazily. "Okay." He said "Here if you need o'wt though."
***
Just over an hour later Charlie was pulling into the car park of the Village Hotel. Ever the
considerate individual, Aled was already waiting outside the hotel's front door, large headphones
on. He was watching something in the middle distance with a contemplative look. Charlie smiled
at Aled's choice of outfit. Since leaving school Aled had chosen to embrace brighter colours and
clashing patterns, and today was no exception. He stood out a mile against the gloom of a
Yorkshire January. Beneath Aled's short blue coat, Charlie could make out bright floral dungarees
with a rainbow jumper underneath. He had a blue beanie on, with the pink strands of his hair
poking out the bottom, his shoes were bright red and sparkly Dr. Martens, and he was carrying a
patchwork backpack. Charlie though he looked magnificent, and couldn't help but grin at the
elderly couple stood next to Aled waiting for their taxi. They were both staring at him, and making
no attempt to hide their confusion and outrage as to why someone would dress so loudly.
Charlie parked his car, got out and waved to Aled, who finally pulled his eyes away from whatever
he had been looking at, took off his headphones, and made his way towards Charlie's car.
"So good to see you!" Charlie said as he held Aled in a close hug
"You too Charlie" Aled said in his quiet voice.
Charlie drove them to a retail park, not far away. As well as large furniture and fashion stores, there
were several chain restaurants for them to choose from. Not anything fancy, but Charlie knew the
menus and what to expect from each place.
Aled decided on Pizza Express, and so the two men headed in and took their seats.
They caught up on all the usual topics; How the tour was going, what creative project Aled and
Frances had lined up next, how Charlie was getting on at work, what chaos Elle and Tao were
currently up to, how their families were etc etc. All the time Charlie was dying to tell Aled about
Nick, like a nervous confession that he needed to expell.
Aled was just coming back from the toilet when Charlie resolved to tell him.
"I've seen Nick." He practically shouted as Aled pulled back his chair.
Aled froze with his hand still on the back of the chair. "Oh?" He said, then sat down. He placed his
hands on the table in front of him and clasped them together, ready to listen.
There was a pause while Charlie considered how best to explain. Aled didn't move or say anything,
which Charlie knew was to give him the space to gather himself.
"So he came to my work, and ended up booked for an appointment with me." Charlie began. He
told Aled the whole story, from the moment Charlie had read the name on the appointment
booking, to finding out it wasn't Nick getting married after all, to anoying Archie interrupting what
could have been a critical moment.
"And then he just left!" Charlie said. "I haven't heard from him since. He said he would email me,
but he has my insta. Surely he could at least message me on there? Let me know it's not a hopeless
cause."
Aled looked off to the side, a studious expression on his face, clearly running through everything
he had just been told.
After a pause Aled quietly said "That must have been very hard for Nick."
Whatever Charlie had expected Aled to say, it wasn't that.
"What?" Charlie asked incredulously
Aled sighed calmly replied. "Charlie, may I remind you that you are the one who broke up with
Nick. You left him. From the sounds of what you've said it didn't appear that he knew he would be
seeing you when he agreed to venue browse so it was probably just as much of a shock for him as
it was for you." Aled sat back in his chair and fixed Charlie with a firm stare. "Nick is probably
feeling conflicted, and hurt. You left him, but from the sounds of what you have said, there are still
feelings there. Feelings that Nick is probably warey of giving into. I imagine he's trying to be as
sensible and guarded as he can."
"So you think it sounds like he does still love me?" Charlie said carefully.
Aled rolled his eyes. "Charlie. You need to be careful. You don't want to be the person who broke
Nick Nelson's heart twice."
Charlie nodded, frowning. Aled was right. It hadn't occurred to him that Nick was worried about
Charlie hurting him a second time. Something Charlie had no intention of ever doing again.
Charlie knew he needed to talk to Nick. The two of them needed to work out together what it was
they wanted, and discover if what the two of them wanted was the same thing.
***
Over a week. More than a whole week had gone by with Charlie not hearing anything from Nick.
Not that he hadn't tried. Charlie had sent two emails, and a DM on Instagram, all of which had
gone unanswered. He even considered showing up at Nick's home, but he had moved after the
break up, and Charlie wasnt sure where to, so that was out of the question.
His mind was constantly elsewhere, focusing on why Nick was ghosting him, and how he could
prove to Nick that he had no intention of hurting him.
His colleagues had noticed.
"What the hell is up with you?" Kim had said to him one morning after Charlie returned to his
office.
He had been on a tour of the Asquith Room with a couple in their seventies. The couple had
excitedly explained how they hadn't yet told their two grown up children they were planning on
marrying, and instead arranged to gather all the family at their house on the morning of their
wedding under the pretence of the bride's seventy-fith birthday party. Usually, romantic schemes
such as this, would have Charlie giddy with excitement, but today he couldn't muster more than a
fake "ooh" at their plan.
After they left, he stormed back to his office, slamming the door behind him. It made such a loud
bang that a baby started crying in Kim's office.
Charlie sat clicking through the ever increasing number of emails in his inbox. His head was
buzzing and he wasn't able to properly read any of them. He could only focus on the fact that not
one of them was from Nick.
Once her birth registration appointment had left, Kim appeared at the doorway, her arms folded, a
look of great concern etched across her face.
"Nothing is up." Charlie said, but even he knew he didn't sound convincing.
"Liar." Kim replied firmly. "You slammed that door so loud I think that baby thought a bomb had
gone off!" She took a few tentative steps into the room. "Has something happened? Everyone has
said you've been walking around with a face like thunder for the last few days."
Charlie was hurriedly moving papers around on his desk, making it look like he was busy so Kim
would leave him alone. She didn't. She stood watching him in silence, her arms still folded,
waiting.
"Fine." Charlie said angrily at last, once he realised Kim had no intention of going anywhere. "I
met up with Nick, told him how I felt, thought we were going to kiss, we didn't, and now he's not
replying to any messages." He sat back in his chair and stared at her, challenging her to say
something.
"Well, shit." Kim said. And she headed back into her office, leaving the door open between them.
Well shit? Thought Charlie. He knew Kim had been concerned for him, but he had still expected a
bit more of a reaction from her than that!
Charlie angrily clicked back into his emails, determined he was going to pull through, and answer
at least one. Prove to himself he could do other things than letting Nick's silence affect his work.
The most recent email was from a hotel they had recently granted a marriage licence to, asking
what time to expect the registrars for their first wedding in three weeks time. This was an easy one,
and he didnt have to think too hard about it. Charlie started to type.
A couple of minutes later Charlie clicked send and sat back in his chair, filled with a small sense of
achievement. He had managed to do it. He had made a start on the emails.
He was just reading through the next one when Kim's voice shouted from next door "Why did you
think he didn't kiss you?"
He internally cursed her. He had been on a roll, and now he was back to thinking about Nick again.
After a pause Charlie shouted back "I think he's worried I'll leave him again if he does."
"Won't you?" Kim said, her voice a little closer this time.
"I don't intend to." Charlie replied, as Kim appeared in the doorway again, and leant on the frame.
"Well," She said "Have you told him that?"
Charlie sighed. He had tried to, but he hadn't known how to put that in a message. He wanted to tell
Nick face to face. He needed to see Nick while he told him. He needed Nick to know that Charlie
had never stopped loving him, never stopped wanting him, never stopped hoping. "Not in so many
words." He said.
Kim nodded, looking thoughtful. "Are you sure he is what you want?"
"Yes" Charlie said, without a moments hesitation. "I have been without him for four years, and any
man I've met has just been compared to Nick, and not lived up to how wonderful he is, or how I
feel about him."
Kim slightly raised her eyebrows "And are you sure that you are what he wants?"
Charlie stared at her, her gaze unwavering. He had assumed it was just a case of proving to Nick
that he was wanted by Charlie. But what if Nick didn't want Charlie back?
Chapter End Notes
This is a bit of a filler chapter on the way to the next bit. If I'm honest I'm not very
happy with this chapter, but it's out there now, so onwards and upwards to the next
one!!!
I had to put Aled in the story. He's my favourite side character and I find him
fascinating. The fact they changed him to Issac in the TV series give me hope that an
adaptation of Radio Silence could happen in the future!
Chapter 8
Chapter Notes
Trigger warning
again there is talk of death and how someone died. This time the cause of death was
Sepsis. It isn't central to the plot so if you don't want to read that bit just jump ahead.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
From: tjones123@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: wedding
Thursday 2nd February, 04:30
Hi Charlie
Good evening from just off the coast of Cuba! (Well, I guess it's the morning for you)
I just wanted to check in about when we needed to sort the final payment. I know the
wedding is not for a while yet, but as we're quite far away and only back in the UK really
briefly, I like to have all my dates for payments sorted.
We are in the UK Feb 15th - 27th. Can we try and book in to do our Notice of Marriage
then?
Also, Nick said you have agreed to marry us. That's amazing! When he told us you were a
registrar it just seemed perfect. What an funny coincidence! I love that it's you we're dealing
with. Makes the whole thing seem more personal.
Talking of Nick, have you heard from him? He sent me a bit of a weird email a few weeks
ago, and now he isn't replying to my messages.
Talk to you soon!
Tara
Ps - Darcy says hi!
***
"And how long had she been in the LGI for?" Charlie asked the middle aged man sat opposite him.
Kim was running behind on her appointments and so Charlie had offered to take a couple to help
her get back on track. He was therefore discussing the death of 57 year old Susan Cain with her
bereaved husband and daughter. Susan had been admitted to the Leeds General Infirmary following
complications after surgery which had taken a sudden turn for the worse. She unfortunately quickly
succumbed to sepsis, leaving her husband and three teenage children in a state of shock.
"Less than a week I think" her husband said. He was being remarkably stoic on behalf of his
daughter, who was red eyed and snotty with tears.
Charlie printed the registration page and passed it across the desk to them. "Please check this over
and let me know if there's anything that is incorrect" He said calmly "Please take your time."
While the pair read through the details, Charlie re-read the email from Tara that had been waiting
in his inbox when he arrived at work that morning.
Nick wasn't responding to Tara either. This made Charlie feel both reassured, and worried. He
wondered what the topic of the 'weird email' could have been. Was it about Charlie? Could it help
explain why Nick wasn't replying to messages?
"That all seems correct." Said the bereaved husband, pulling Charlie back and reminding him he
was supposed to be registering someone's death, not obsessing over his non-starter of a romance.
The husband signed the record page, then Charlie completed the administration to go with it. The
family bought four death certificates, so while Charlie printed and signed these, he discussed with
them their choice of funeral director, and if it was to be a burial or cremation.
Once Susan Cain's husband and daughter had left, Charlie quickly completed the post appointment
admin, and fired a quick Teams message to Kim.
Spring, Charles : How are you getting on? Do you need me to take the birth appointment
that's here?
Brownly, Kimberly : I'm on top of things again now mate, thanks for taking that death for
me.
Plus, I have been looking forward to this birth all day. The mum's name is Ocean-Blessed, so
I'm optimistic this baby gets a name that's going on the wall, and no way are you stealing that
from me!
Charlie sent a thumbs up gif to Kim and returned to his own work.
As well as a very full inbox, he had three wedding booking forms to input, and a groom to call back
to take the final payment for his ceremony. All of this, however, would have to wait. Charlie
needed to reply to Tara first.
To: tjones123@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: wedding
Thursday 2nd February, 15:37
Hi Tara (and Darcy!)
So wonderful to hear from you after so long! I've seen the pictures Darcy puts on her
Instagram, and you both look to be living a very exotic life!
I can book you both in for your notice of marriage appointment on Feb 24th at 12.15pm.
Unfortunately it won't be with me, but make sure I see you while you're here.
You need to have the following stuff with you for the appointment:
* in date passports
* something confirming your address - am I right in thinking you're both staying with Nick?
I'm assuming you won't have any documents with his address on, so he needs to write a letter
as the owner/occupier of the address, confirming when you both began staying with him.
You'll also need to check that he's fine giving his details incase the home office want to run
any checks.
I've attached the payment costs for the notice appointment, and you'll need to pay that on the
day. They'll go through with you in the appointment about your final ceremony payments.
They're due when you've got about 6 weeks to go.
I was so touched that you want me to marry the two of you! I have juggled diaries around so
I am able to do it. I'm very excited. You'll be the first wedding I conduct for someone I
actually know!
Charlie's hands hovered over the keyboard, debating how to ask about Nick and make it appear
casual, and not as if the thought of Nick Nelson had occupied Charlie's mind throughout most days.
And especially every night. He didn't want to advertise to Tara how desperate he was to speak with
Nick, but needed to know what (if anything) Nick had said.
I saw Nick last a couple of weeks ago, but haven't heard from him since. Are you worried
about him? I'm sure he's probably busy - lead up to the half term holidays etc?
Let me know if you hear from him, or if there's anything I can help with for the wedding.
Talk soon,
Charlie
Charles Spring
Leeds City Council
Email sent after several drafts of the penultimate paragraph, and Charlie breathed a sigh of relief.
He could now start his actual work.
***
"Charlie, glad I've caught you" said Jess, entering Charlie's office, as he was shrugging on his coat
to ready leave for the night.
"Everything OK?" Charlie said, as he wrapped his scarf around his neck. Jess was already wrapped
up in her long stylish coat and carrying her laptop bag, so Charlie presumed clearly she wasn't
wanting to keep him long.
Jess flashed him a reassuring smile "Of course, nothing to worry about. But I need to run
something past you."
Charlie nodded and smiled "What's up?"
She closed the office door behind her, and Charlie noticed her quickly glance towards the closed
door leading to Kim's office.
"I wanted to discuss with you a few operational changes that are going to be taking place and see
what you felt before I made some final decisions."
Charlie was surprised. He couldn't see why she wanted to run it past him. He was only a deputy,
which is rather low on the rung of registration hierarchy. "Okay. How can I help?"
Jess plonked her bag down on one of the chairs, but remained standing. "Fatima handed her notice
in today. I knew it was coming. Her husband's got a new job but it's somewhere down south. She'll
be leaving at the end of March."
"Oh that's a shame." Charlie said. He would be sad to see Fatima leave. She was a Senior
Registration Officer, two levels higher than Charlie's role, and was one of the more approachable
managers. She normally took charge of the rota, and therefore was a good person to keep on the
good side of incase you ever needed a favour. "Does she have another role lined up?" Charlie asked
"Not yet," Jess shook her head "but that's what I wanted to discuss with you. I'm not planning to
replace her. Instead, I'm hoping to move some staff around and use the budget for two new
positions. If I had an opening for a Registration Officer would you be interested in applying?"
"Me? Yeah of course" Charlie said enthusiastically. Registration Officer would be a step up for
him, and would therefore come with new responsibilities which he had been desperate to perform,
including bedside weddings at the hospitals and weddings within Armley prison.
"Well, good." Jess nodded, a small smile crept across her face. She picked up her laptop bag, and
held the door open for Charlie to follow her. "Obviously this is all confidential as I don't yet have
confirmation from HR that they'll supply me with the budget for this. But if they do, I'll be heartily
encouraging you to apply."
The two of them walked through the corridors and out of the building, waving a cheery goodbye to
the burley security guard, before both heading their separate ways to go home.
As Charlie sat on the bus, he replayed the conversation he had with Jess in his mind. Something
like this he would normally share with Kim, however as he had been told the plans in confidence,
and he wasn't sure if Kim knew, he refrained form messaging her. But he was excited and needed
to tell someone. And Charlie knew who he wanted to tell, more than anyone else.
He pulled his phone from his coat pocket, and opened his Instagram DMs. Without thinking too
much about his message, he began to hastily type.
@nick_nzzzz
Hi Nick, I hope you're OK. Don't worry about replying, but I just wanted to tell you some
good news I had today. My boss basically cornered me on the way out of work to let me know
they're creating a new position, which would be a promotion, and she's wanting me to apply
for it! Im very excited. Fingers crossed it all goes through! I just needed to tell someone, and
you were who I wanted to tell.
Also I heard from Tara today. Will you please reply to her? I think she's a little concerned
she hasn't heard from you.
Within seconds of his message being delivered, Charlie noticed it had been seen. Then, to his great
surprise, three little dots appeared at the bottom of his screen.
Nick was replying.
Charlie stared at the dots with nervous anticipation. His eyes were focused unmoving on his phone
screen, watching those three tiny dots, willing Nick to write faster.
After several minutes Nick's message eventually pinged through, just as the bus reached Charlie's
stop.
He opened the message as he stepped off the bus into the cold February rain.
@charlie_spr1
That's amazing news. I'll keep my fingers crossed it works out of you.
That's it? Thought Charlie bitterly. Nothing for weeks, and then two sentences?
As Charlie turned the corner into his street, a neat row of victorian terraces, he remembered what
Aled had said to him - "I imagine he's trying to be as sensible and guarded as he can.". Charlie
supposed he should be grateful for a response at all, and wondered if Nick felt safer
communicating with limited emotions.
The rain had started to come down heavier now, and Charlie was freezing. He was looking forward
to getting inside, and getting into a warm shower. However, as he reached his house, Charlie was
surprised to see a woman stood outside, knocking on the door.
"Can I help?" He asked
The woman spun around from the door. "Sorry?" She said.
"You're knocking on my door." Charlie pulled his keys from his trouser pocket.
"Oh." She said, looking embarrassed "I was, um, looking for Ant. Are you Charlie? Or Lewis?"
"Charlie." He replied, questioning.
"I'm Becky. I'm Ant's...friend? girl? I don't, I don't really know what we are" she smiled
apologetically.
Charlie nodded and inched past her to unlock his front door. He finally was able to put a face to the
voice he had heard for the last three months. She wasn't what he had expected. He had imagined
Anthony to be attracted to tall, leggy blondes with a lot of make up. Not a short, alternative looking
girl, with large glasses and a pixie crop. "Does he know you're coming over?" Charlie asked as he
opened the door and stepped into the hallway.
"Yeah." she said as she followed Charlie in and kicked off her black trainers. "I called him not long
ago. I lost my keys and was closer to your house than mine, so Ant said to come stop here for a
bit."
Charlie hung his coat up on the hooks lining the hallway and shouted into the house "Ant! Becky's
here!"
He heard the thumping of feet running down the stairs, and Anthony appeared looking flushed and
breathy, hastily running his hands throigh his hair. He was still dressed for work, in a pair of navy
chinos and a polo shirt, with his company ID still swinging from his neck. He locked eyes with
Becky and broke into a wide smile "You muppet." He said to her.
Becky laughed l, and grinned back at him. "I know, I know!" She groaned. "I'm soaked and
fucking freezing too."
Anthony put his arm around Beckys shoulders and gave her shoulders a rough rub. "Let's get you a
brew to warm you up." He said, and planted a kiss on the top of her head. As he led her to the
kitchen Charlie heard him say "You can borrow my clothes. They'll drown you, but they'll be
warm."
Charlie was surprised, though he tried not to show it. His understanding of Anthony's relationship
with Becky was that it was purely physical, and just to satisfy a need as and when they needed it.
But the way the two of them were behaving at the moment looked much more intimate.
Charlie kicked his shoes off and followed them into the kitchen to make himself a hot drink. Like
Becky, he had been out in the rain and was also wet and very cold.
Becky was sat at their small kitchen table, a mug of tea clasped between her hands. She was bent
over the mug, blowing into it, and making her large glasses steam up. Anthony was rummaging in
the pile of washing that had recently come out of the tumble dryer. He pulled a pair of grey joggers
and a blue hoodie out and held them triumphantly aloft. "Here we go." He said "these should be ok
on you."
"My hero!" Becky replied, as Anthony passed the clothes to her. He gave her a quick peck on the
lips, before Becky scurried out of the room to change.
Charlie picked up the kettle and headed to the sink to refill it.
Anthony started opening cupboards, looking for snacks. He pulled a pack of biscuits from the top
cupboard and ripped open the packet.
"Hobknobs?" Charlie said jokingly, as he flicked the kettle on. "Someone's trying to impress the
lady with the top brand bicckies."
"Piss off Spring." Anthony replied, but Charlie noticed a small smile creep across his face as he
tipped the packet of biscuits into a bowl.
"Did I hear someone say Hobknobs?" Becky asked as she reappeared in the kitchen doorway.
Charlie laughed slightly at her outfit. He was reminded of when he would borrow Nick's clothes.
She was swamped by material. She had turned the cuffs of the joggers over several times to stop
them trailing on the floor, and the hoodie sleeves hung far beyond her hands.
"You look so cuddly like that." Anthony remarked, as Becky did a twirl to show off her look. He
wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. Becky brought her arms up and wrapped them around
him too. They stayed that way, silently holding each other.
Charlie, suddenly aware of how unwelcome he was in this moment, slipped out of the kitchen,
leaving his cup of tea unmade.
He silently headed up the stairs and, as he reached the first floor landing, passed Lewis, who was
heading down. "Don't go in the kitchen." Charlie told him as he entered the bathroom.
Once he was showered and feeling considerably warmer, Charlie headed back downstairs. He had
changed into some loose pyjama bottoms paired with an oversized green chunky knit jumper.
As he reached the bottom of the stairs he could hear loud, happy, shouting coming from the living
room.
He poked his head in to see his two housemates sat on the sofa, with Becky sat on the floor leaning
back against Anthony's legs. Becky and Lewis had the Nintendo controllers in their hands and were
racing Bowser and Princess Peach, while both arguing about dirty tactics.
"Urgh!" Becky laughed as Lewis crossed the finish line moment ahead of her. "You're just too
good."
Lewis flopped back in the sofa, a triumphant smiled etched across his face "That's just what
happens when you're single with no social life - you get to be really good at video games!"
Charlie stepped forward and sat in the vacant armchair.
"Charlie!" Becky said, grinning at him "You any good at Mario Kart?"
Charlie smiled at her "Well, I am also single without much of a social life, so...yes. yes I am."
She threw the controller towards him. "Well in that case, I think you and Lewis need a winner
takes all race."
She jumped up from her spot on the floor and snuggled in next to Anthony on the sofa, draping her
legs over his.
"Spring, we're ordering food." Said Anthony, scrolling through the food delivery app on his phone.
"Want anything?"
Charlie requested some chips. He needed to eat, but didn't think he could handle a full meal in the
company of someone new.
Several rounds of Mario Kart, and lots of happy banter later, a knock on the door informed them
that the food had arrived. Charlie answered the door and took the huge amount of food from the
driver.
While staggering down the hallway balancing pizza boxes, coke bottles and a bag with several
polystyrene food containers, he heard a short buzz from his jacket, hung on the hooks. Charlie had
been so preoccupied since returning home, that he hadn't remembered to take his phone from his
jacket pocket.
Depositing the food in the living room, whereupon the three people waiting decended on the bags
and boxes like hungry predators, Charlie quickly returned to the hallway to grab his phone and then
flopped back down in the armchair to read his messages, the box of chips balanced on his knees.
Charlie dismissed the email notifications - most of those were just junk anyway.
He took a short intake of breath, when he got to his Instagram notifications. He had a series of
messages, most of which were reels Tao had sent him, but amongst the reels were three messages
from Nick Nelson. Three messages. So that dismissive response to Charlie's work message wasn't
the only thing he had to say.
Charlie took a deep breath in, clicked open the messages, and began to read.
Chapter End Notes
Just a few explanations of localisms:
The LGI - this is one of two hospitals in Leeds, the Leeds General Infirmary. The
other is St James's - commonly known as Jimmy's
Hobknobs - not sure if these have made it to other countries, but they are the king of
biscuits. Especially the chocolate ones. And I will fight anyone who disagrees!
Chapter 9
Chapter Summary
What was in Nick's three messages? It's time to find out, and time for Charlie to get a
harsh reality check.
Chapter Notes
@charlie_spr1
I'm sorry I've not responded to any of your messages. School's been really busy and I've just
been so tired.
@charlie_spr1
OK, so that's not completely true. I have also been avoiding you. Seeing you again brought all
the feelings I've tried to suppress for four years. If you still feel the same as you did then, and
whatever this is isn't more than some hook up for old times sake, then I'm sorry, but it's a no
from me. I think we should just be friends.
The first two messages had been sent within five minutes of each other, but Charlie noticed a gap
of nearly an hour between the second and third.
@charlie_spr1
Shit, I'm sorry Char. Actually I can't do that either. I can't be friends with you. It would be
better if you just stick to speaking to Tara about the wedding. Sorry.
Charlie felt dreadful. Nick had left himself open in the second message, and Charlie hadn't replied.
"Spring?" Lewis asked. Charlie snapped his head up from his phone to look at him. Lewis was
watching him with a concerned look. "You OK mate? You've not touched your food."
Charlie looked down at his unopened carton of chips on his lap. Suddenly eating seemed
unimportant. He needed to reply to Nick, and he needed to do it soon. "Oh, yeah. Got distracted by
something." He mumbled quietly.
"Anything we can help with?" Lewis said.
Charlie put his food on the floor next to his chair. "I don't think so." He said.
Anthony, through a mouthful of pizza, said "c'mon Spring. A problem shared is a problem halved."
Charlie just stared blankly at his phone. Anthony continued "Lew and I have been a bit worried
about you, you know. You've seemed really down. Is whatever's on your phone the cause of it?"
"It's just... man stuff." He said quietly
"Well perfect." Lewis said triumphantly "I mean, the last time I checked, I'm a man, and I'm sure
Becky can confirm the same about Ant. Maybe we can help."
"And I've had my fair share of shit men" Becky said, before hurriedly adding "present company
excluded." as she placed a hand on Anthony's bicep. "Surely our collective wisdom can help solve
whatever crappy thing this lad's done"
"That's the problem." Charlie said glumly "He hasn't done anything wrong. I think I'm the one who
did the crappy thing."
Once again, Charlie found himself explaining the whole story. Lewis, Anthony and Becky sat there
in silence while Charlie explained his and Nick's history and how Charlie had broken up with him,
before going on to give them all the details of their recent interactions.
"So I broke his heart, and now I need to prove to him that I'm never going to do that again. But
because I didn't reply fast enough I think he's spiralling and has now said he doesn't want to even
be friends!" Charlie put his head in his hands and let out a frustrated moan.
Lewis and Anthony looked at each other blankly, while Becky shuffled over to where Charlie sat,
perching on the chair's armrest. She put a hand around Charlie's shoulders. "I think you need to talk
to him face to face, not over text. Written down, things can be interpreted differently. Do you not
have his number? Or address?"
Charlie shook his head "No. He moved and changed his number about a year after we broke up."
Lewis frowned "You were with him for years, does he have any weekly routines? What sort of
thing does he do on an evening? Any idea of where he'd be?"
Charlie thought. It was Thursday. If Nick hadn't changed teams he would be at rugby training
tonight.
"Burley Rugby Club." He said firmly. "It's next to Kirkstall Abbey"
"Well what are you waiting for?" Anthony jumped up from the sofa "Let's go!"
"What?" Said Charlie, alarmed.
"You need to talk to him properly, the sooner the better. We know where he's going to be, so let's
go talk to him!" Anthony ran out to the hallway and came back in carrying Charlie's battered
converse. He threw them across the room to Charlie, who caught one and said "I can't do that. I
can't surprise him at rugby."
"Course you can" said Lewis, hastily pulling on his own trainers "Carpe Diem! Seize the day! Put
on your damn shoes Spring, let's go."
Pulled along by their enthusiasm, Charlie found himself stuffing his feet into his shoes and being
guided out the door and into the front passenger seat of Lewis's battered old Skoda. Lewis climbed
in the driver's side, and started the engine.
It was only once Becky and Anthony had got in the back, and Lewis sped out of their street, loud
music blaring from the car's radio, that Charlie realised he was still wearing his slobby pyjamas
and jumper combination, and that his hair was a fluffy mess from having been in the shower
earlier.
"I can't see him dressed like this!" He squeaked.
"Course you can" Anthony shouted over the music, as Lewis zoomed along "He'll think it's
romantic! You were so desperate to see him, you couldn't even take the time to get changed."
Charlie fiddled nervously with a loose thread on the sleeve of his jumper. The rain had stopped
now, and Lewis had gathered speed so water was spraying to the side as they flew along a main
road. Charlie was sure Lewis would end up with a speeding ticket.
Burley Rugby Club consisted of a small clubhouse with a bar, and two pitches - one for training
sessions, and the other for match days. When Nick and Charlie were together, Charlie would often
accompany Nick on Thursday evenings. Not to take part, and certainly not to stand in the cold and
watch. The club was in the shadow of the mighty Kirkstall Abbey, the ruins of what had once been
a grand and rich cistercian monastery, destroyed in the 1500s during Henry VIII's reign. Charlie
would bring a flask of tea to keep himself warm, and lovingly walk Henry around the ruins. He
relished in the history of Kirkstall, and got a small thrill from the idea of walking in same steps as
people who's lives were still talked about today, despite living hundreds of years ago. He knew
every inch of the Abbey ruins, and the park surrounding it. He would enthusiastically walk it most
weeks, before joining Nick and his teammates in the clubhouse for a pint, once practise was over.
He had not been back to the abbey since he broke up with Nick. The rugby club was Nick's, and
Charlie viewed the abbey as an extension of the club, so therefore it had been off limits for him.
Lewis turned the car into the rugby club's tiny carpark, and parked in front of the clubhouse. He
switched off the engine, and the car was suddenly crowded by the silence of anticipation as he,
Anthony and Becky all looked at Charlie. "Well?" Becky said "Now what?"
Charlie stared across at the floodlit practice pitch. He could see figures running across it, darting in
and out of the shadows cast from surrounding trees, flinging the ball between them, but he couldn't
see from this distance if one of the figures was Nick. He checked his watch - it had just gone
8.45pm. "Training goes on for about fifteen minutes yet" He told his companions. Charlie knew
the team would have to cross the car park, and walk past where they were, in order to reach the
clubhouse. He explained this and they all agreed to stay put until they spotted Nick.
Charlie silently played several conversations over in his mind, debating how best to approach the
subject with Nick of still being in love with him. He had been wrapped up in his housemates'
enthusiasm for the big romantic gesture, but now they were here, Charlie had no idea what to say.
He could feel his heart beating so hard in his chest, that he was certain the other people in the car
could hear it.
Just over fifteen minutes later the unmistakable clacking of boot studs on concrete signalled the
end of practice. Charlie slid down in his seat as he watched the team noisily file past in their dark
maroon kit, heading for the changing rooms. Some faces he recognised, some he didn't. Every one
of them was covered in mud, and they were all chatting animatedly - their breath visible in clouds
of smoke against the freezing cold air.
"Mate, how's your shoulder?" "You stopping for a pint?" "Can't tonight, the Mrs wants me home"
"It's fucking freezing" "Oi Matty, can I get a lift?"
And then Charlie saw him.
Nick was at the back, several paces behind the others, laughing while chatting with a slightly
shorter, stocky man, who looked to be in his late thirties. The mere sight of Nick made Charlie
gasp. Nick looked energised, alive, and, (even covered in mud) so beautiful.
They were walking slowly towards where Charlie and his companions were parked. Charlie
ducked down lower. "Shit shit shit shit" He whispered quietly.
Lewis looked up "Oh shit!" He said "Is that him? The one with the floppy hair?"
"Yes that's him. STOP STARING, he'll see you!"
Becky leant forward "Isn't that the point? Let me see." She stared out the window at Nick "Oh
wow Charlie. He is fucking hot. I don't normally like sporty blokes, but he is fit."
"Errm, excuse me?" Anthony said in mock annoyance.
"Oh shut up Ant," She replied "Look at the thighs on him! Even under all that mud I can see they're
pure muscle."
Charlie had his hands over his face. "Oh fuck, what am I doing? This is such a bad idea."
He was about to tell Lewis to start the car and take them home, when without warning, Lewis got
out of the car and shouted over towards Nick. "Hey!"
Nick and his companion looked over. "Can we help you?" The other man asked.
"Are you Nick Nelson?" Lewis asked, walking towards them.
"Yes..." Nick said, cautiously, looking at Lewis with great suspicion "And you're...?"
"I'm Lewis. I'm a friend of Charlie's." Lewis gestured behind him to where his car was. Charlie
quickly slumped lower in his seat, his hands over his face.
"Bollocks." He hissed.
"Charlie?" He heard Nick say to Lewis, sounding shocked.
A silence followed, Charlie still refusing to sit up again. He could feel his cheeks flushing bright
red. He was sure that even in the dark February night, they would stand out like a beacon.
Eventually Anthony gave a small cough from the back seat. "He knows you're here. He is looking
right at you."
Charlie groaned and opened the door.
Nick was stood about about twenty excruciating paces away. He didn't say anything as Charlie
crossed the car park towards him, he just stared. The floodlights in the car park made his face paler
than normal; a washed out greeny white. The contrast this had with his dark eyes was startling.
Their deep brown hue shone in the lamp light and Charlie could see hundreds of emotions
flickering across them with every step he took.
"Hi." Charlie said awkwardly when he eventually reached where the three men were stood.
Nick didn't say anything. He simply stared at Charlie, his brow furrowed, and his jaw set tight.
"I needed to talk to you." Charlie said quietly
"So you, what? Thought you'd ambush me in front of my teammates?" Nick said.
"Errm, well it wasn't supposed to be an ambush." Charlie mumbled.

Lewis, had returned to his car. He, Anthony and Becky were all sat making a very unconvincing
attempt to not look towards where Charlie was stood.
Nick's companion, meanwhile, who had hovered awkwardly next to Nick since Lewis had first
called out to them, asked Nick if he wanted him to stay or not.
"No it's ok Sean." Nick replied "I won't be long."
"I'll get your drink ordered for you" He said, giving Charlie a suspicious glance, before heading
into the clubhouse changing rooms.
There was a moments silence, while Nick and Charlie looked at each other.
"Are you wearing pyjamas?" Nick said.
"Nick, I -" Charlie started, but he was cut off abruptly.
"Don't." Nick said softly, holding a hand up in front of him. "Please don't." His dark eyes bore into
Charlie, full of pain.
Charlie opened his mouth, and then closed it again. There was a pause before he said "Why did
you say you didn't want to be my friend? He knew it sounded childish, but the idea of never seeing
Nick again was like a stab to the heart.
Nick drew himself up to his full height. "I didn't say that I didn't want to. I said I can't. Shit Charlie,
you don't get it do you?" Nick looked furious, but his voice was steady. "I have spent four years
mourning the loss of you. You left me. You left me alone in that flat. You gave me no warning you
were going, you just went. You don't realise the hurt you caused me!"
Nick's voice was getting louder, and Charlie got the impression that Nick had been wanting to say
this for some time. "I sat in that shitty flat for weeks, surrounded by stuff we had picked together, a
home we had made together. Day after day surrounded by things that made me think of nothing but
the fact You Weren't There.
I trashed the flat, you know? Tipped your books off the book shelves, ripped up photos, I even
smashed the dog bowl you'd painted for Henry. Then I sat on the living room floor amongst all the
smashed things and cried."
Nick looked up at the sky and took a deep breath, and Charlie stood there.
They were silent.
"You ruined me." Nick said quietly. "I was a happy person. I was happy with you. I thought you
were too. I know all the other stuff wasnt great for you. I know your job was crap, and you hated it.
But we had each other. And I assumed we'd find a solution together, like we always had before.
The fact you still don't see how fucked up it was that you made the decision to just - just disappear
without even giving me a warning sign is... is shitty of you."
Nick looked back at Charlie. There were tears falling down his face, leaving a trench of clean skin
visible through the dirt.
"I couldnt teach when you left. I got signed off by my doctor because I was too sad. You robbed
me of my passion for months. I have had to work so fucking hard to be a normal person again. To
be myself again.
And worst thing of all of this, is after I finally felt happy again, that the moment I saw you all the
work I'd done crumbled. All I wanted to do was kiss you and take you home and hold you forever
and never let you leave me again."
"So why won't you?" Charlie said desperately. He took a step forward and tried to take hold of
Nick's hand. Nick jumped backwards as though burnt. "Nick, I love you." Charlie added
pathetically.
"I love you Charlie. But even just seeing you now, stood here in your pyjamas with your hair all
over the place makes me want to kiss you. And that makes mme frightened. I can't risk that hurt
again. And so no, I can't be your friend, because just seeing you is painful."
"Nick, please." Charlie started "I dont want-"
"I'll see you at the wedding. Bye Char."
And with that final blow, Nick turned and, wiping his face, walked into the clubhouse, leaving
Charlie stood there in the rugby club car park, the echo of Nick's words cutting through him.
Chapter End Notes
I did not mean for this fic to become a tour guide for Leeds historical buildings, but
here we are!
Kirkstall Abbey is in ruins, but is well worth a walk around. About 200 years ago the
main road into Leeds for farmers heading to the market was right through the ruins!
It's free to go to for Leeds residents, and is situated in a lovely park which runs along a
river full of local wildlife. And if you ever go, I recommend also going to the Abbey
museum over the road. If you're a child in Leeds it's a school field trip essential. Both
my husband, and son have done school trips there when they were six!
Incidently Burley Rugby Club is a real club, who has a very pro LGBTQ+ stance. My
baby brother used to play for them. (And in my opinion he is the hetro version of Nick
Nelson - rugby captain, a history of standing up against bullies, still with his secondary
school partner 15 years later, and absolutely has pure golden retriever energy)
End Notes
I'm a brit, living in Leeds so if there's any English translations you need let me know!
Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!

One For The Record Books

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One for the Record Books

See the end of the work for notes

"Busted." Charlie said, chuckling.

"The intiails" Charlie replied "Look at the initials."

"Sure Jess, no problem." He lied.

"Fucking freezing." He replied, stoney faced.

"Hi. I, err, I have an appointment."

"Mr Nelson?" Charlie said, in as business-like a voice as he could managed.

"What are you doing here?"

"You?" Nick practically shouted.

"And...you like it?" Nick was frowning, as if worried to ask.

"I love it." Charlie replied.

"Old mayors." Charlie replied with a shrug.

"This one looks like Mr Lange, don't you think?"

"NICK!" Charlie gasped.

"Well thank you Mr Lange." Charlie giggled.

"How are all the Springs? Oliver enjoying uni?"

Nick gasped "No!"

"I saw Michael's announcement. Him and Tori doing OK?"

Nick chuckled. "How those two make it work is beyond me."

"It's perfect." Nick had said softly.

Subject: ceremony booking

Wednesday 18th January 2023, 08:03

Senior Teacher and SENCO

Green Fields Primary School

Subject: RE ceremony booking

Wednesday 18th January 2023, 11:34

Hi Nick no too casual, it's still a work email

Good afternoon Mr Nelson nope. Nope nope nope.

Deputy Registration Officer

Leeds City Council

"Us. Men in love."

"That's awful" Kim said quietly.

Charlie felt a single tear run down his cheek.

This was one of those appointments.

Subject: RE: RE: ceremony booking

Wednesday 18th January 2023, 12:05

Looking forward to talking to you

Senior Teacher and SENCO

Green fields Primary School

He couldn't be on his own for what he knew was about to happen.

"Mr Muscle." Charlie mumbled, as his breathing hitched.

"The cleaning stuff?"

"Charlie!" A far away voice cried.

"Are you obsessed with me or something? You're fucking pathetic."

"Charlie!" The voice was closer now.

"Wha- what happened?" Charlie said hoarsely.

"The man from the other day?"

"How long were you together?"

"Years. About a decade. Then broke up about four years ago."

"Mmm," Charlie hummed. "I was fourteen."

"And now he's getting married?" Kim asked quietly.

"That you'd get back together?"

"I think you should go home" Kim said at last.

See the end of the chapter for notes

Subject: ceremony booking

Thursday 19th January 2023, 07:56

I will call Charlie today to make the payment

Senior Teacher and SENCO

Green fields Primary School