THE NO.

1 MAGAZINE IN
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THE PHILIPPINES
www.fhm.com.ph

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notes on how
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every man deserves
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 c o nt ents 1 1 / 1 5

46
INA
P H O TO G R A P H Y : M A R K N I C D A O ; I L L U S T R AT I O N : LO U I S A R E Ñ A S

R AY M U NDO
The Sabado Nights
icon graces on our
cover as a gift to
herself. It’s a gift to
us too.

74 BUSINESS CLASS 86 NOVEMBER

YOUR...
Date life, commute-life,
party-throwing, and suit-
wearing game
80 THE NEXT EFREN
“BATA” REYES
Is more than just one guy.
Let’s get to know them...
84 HOW TO BE A PINOY
OLYMPIAN
Experts get finnicky on
winning athlete qualities
HOUSE ARREST
Casual and crafty ways to
fend off ’ber month blues
90 TIRSO RIPOLL
Razorback turns 25! We ask
bassist Tirso Ripoll if this
makes him feel manlier
92 ‘HELLO, SENPAI!’
Three AV idols from Japan
drop by to warm our set
bedsheets

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial NOVEMBER 2015 FH M 3

 c ontents 11/ 15
STA RT E R
12 BABE
Lover-of-underwear-more-
than-overwear Chanelle
Kuhn stops by
18 SO FLASHY BUT IT
HURTS
The guys from Philippine
Wrestling Federation bring
on the hurt
22 IIYAk NA ’YAN...
Painful episodes that make
grown men cry
24 LAUGHTER!
Breezy jokes by men, dirty
jokes by women
LO U NGE
26 RULES OF
UNDRESSING
Divine Maitland-Smith
discusses the finer points of
stripping nekkid
4 FH M NOVEMBER 2015
P H O T O G R A P H Y : K U R T A LV A R E Z , J O N AT H A N B A L D O N A D O , D A I R Y D A R I L A G , M A R K J E S A LV A ; I L L U S T R AT I O N : LO U I S A R E Ñ A S
28 THE EX-FILES
All the erstwhile douche
bros she’s dated, and how
44 WHO WILL YOU BE
50 YEARS FROM NOW?
Cosplayers from AsiaPOP
UPGRADE
118 MAN-SIZED
not to end up like them ComicCon answer our HEALTHY GRUB
question Hold the salad. We'll have
32 BEING POGI the mushroom sisig, please!
Revisiting natural and over- 45 NEW SERIES ALERT!
the-counter aphrodisiacs for Mr. Robot fixes our 122 FATHER OF
intimacy assistance politically charged, anti- PHILIPINE E-SPORTS
hero pangs ...Sounds like a really big
34 LADIES’ deal. Ronald Robins tells us
CONFESSIONS
Adventures in fetish, and
titillating armpit trivia
STYLE
105 MAX COMFORT
how he got there
124 TSIkOT SHOPPING
How to wear pambahay GUIDE
AC C ES S
38 BOND AT 24
outdoors, stylishly
110 SHOES OUT LOUD
The Hyundai Santa Fe fits
the bill
A couple-dozen tidbits on The colored shoes and socks 126 INCH ADVANTAGE
your favorite tux-wearing guide to doing it right Tech upgrades according
agents to real estate
40 PINOY COMIC BOOkS
Sate visual storytelling needs
GIRLF RIE ND
114 kELLY HARRIS
128 TRUE STORY!
A series of unfortunate
with these graphic reads BERNAL events—really, really
Is an undercover Filipino, unfortunate
42 ELECTRO-POP! and such a sweetheart
Artist BP Valenzuela
flounders over the genre
facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph
 T H E TEAM: WHAT FHM ers HAVE BEEN U P TO T HI S M ON T H
Ina Raymundo is
someone we’ve all
been wishing to cover
for a long time, that’s I S B R O U G H T T O Y O U B Y. . .
why we’re even using Team Editor Allan A. Madrilejos
this extra space to Managing Editor Allan P. Hernandez
Art Director Paul C. Villariba
cram more photos Associate Art Director John Laurence O. Patulan
of her rather than Senior Features Editor Khyne L. Palumar
Assistant Style Editor Mikey Ashlie L. Mahinay
our obligatory group Editorial Assistants, Pong M. Castillo, Chise A. Alcantara
shots. It’s going to be Celebrity Coordinator Allan Altera
A N D F U T U R E - P R O O F E D B Y. . .
a good weekend! Managing Editor BA Borleo
Associate Section Editor Gelo G. Gonzales
Senior Staff Writer Ron Jay B. Eduvas
Staff Writer Neps N. Firmalan, John Paulo Aguilera,
Mary Rose A. Hogaza
Video Production Specialist Engelheart V. Jarilla
WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM...
Words Ronjay Eduvas, Julius Fernandez, Paulo Aguilera, Abby Mendoza,
Toni Antiporda Illustrations Mikke Gallardo, Louis Arenas, Gilbert Daroy
Pictures Ejay Leung, Kurt Alvares, Rey Trajano, Heidi Aquende, Mark Jesalva,
Mark Nicdao, Paul Mondok, Dairy Darilag, Jerico Montemayor, Kench Genato,
Jay Tablante, Jonathan Baldonado Styling/Makeup/Hair Bela Vitug,
Anne Castaño, Jessica Fang, Krystal Renee, Debra Bernales, Amanda Padilla,
Emmanuel Hernandez II, Bea Constantino, Raymond Mateo, Marlon Suarez,
Monika Ravanera, Antoneth Mangyao, Albeth Benipayo, Jonas Flores, Genie
Ranada-Babista, Rhina Montemayor, Prin Cess, Badj Genato, Lei Ponce
F H M I N T E R N AT I O N A L N E T W O R k
International Director Simon Greves International Digital Director
Gary Broughton International General Manager Mark Beard
International Digital Manager Graham Kirk International Content
Executive Ryan Chambers International Digital & Content Executive
Erin Viljoen International Technical Administrator John Goodchild
International Editors (Australia) Guy Mosel, (China) Jacky Jin, (Czech
Republic) Dalibor Demel, (France) Laurent Giraud, (Germany) Hans Fuchs,
(Holland) Sander Kersten, (India) Kabeer Sharma, (Indonesia) Richard
Sam Bera, (Latvia) Sandris Metuzals, (Malaysia) Rajesh Taluar, (Norway)
Martin Thronsen, (Philippines) Allan Madrilejos, (Romania) Paul Breazu,
(Russia) Slava Rovner, (Singapore) David Fuhrmann Lim, (Slovenia) Uros
Majcenovic, (South Africa) Hagen Engler, (Spain) Rafael Benitez, (Taiwan)
Left: Our friends Saffron Lee, (Thailand) Jakaphatchara Buranabutr, (Turkey) Berk Iybar,
from the digital (UK) Joe Barnes
SUMMIT MEDIA
department, Pau and President Lisa Gokongwei-Cheng Publisher Edna T. Belleza
Jean, play pretend VP for Operations Hansel dela Cruz Junior Associate Publisher
Aeus Kevin Reyes Digital Publisher Adel De Jesus Deputy Group
couple for us. This Digital Publisher Amina Rillo Web Business Operations Manager
disclaimer is here so Dennison Ko Web Programmer Christopher Porto Production
Director Elizabeth Rellis Assistant Production Manager Jane M. Puno
walang magselos. Production Coordinator Arnel Laigo Production Graphic Artist Louis
Right: After several Arenas Administrative Services Manager Whilma M. Lopez Admin
Assistants Michiel Lumabi, Marlyn Miguel
days of binge ADVERTISING
listening to Pinoy rap, Group Advertising Director Florence Bienvenido Adv. Director-key
Accounts Group Regie Uy Adv. Mangers Maiza G. Mueco key Account
the FHM boys finally Specialists Joey Anciano, Junn de las Alas, Alex Revelar,
went full jej. Annie Santos, Suzette Tolentino Senior Account Manager (Print)
Ginger Taduran, Bem Caharian, JJ Dinglasan Senior Account Manager
(Digital) Lucas Reyes Junior Account Managers (Print) Melinda
Kitane-San Diego, Junior Account Managers (Digital) Onnie Del
Mundo, Dianne Suegay, Angela Lagahid, Adv. Executive Assistant
Rita Barbacena key Accounts Assistants Maricel Adaniel, Ashley Balla,
Chinggay M. Cabit Adv. Assistants Lorena Santiago
Left: EA Chise Adv. Traffic Supervisors Eliziel del Rio, Myra Gorospe
E V E N T S D E PA R T M E N T
hangs out with the Assistant Marketing Manager: Leah H. Basco Jr. Marketing
ring warriors of the Associates: Sirius Langkay, Gladys Lapitan, Siena Mirano,
Kieffer Albert Nonato, Abigail Pinili
Philippine Wrestling M E D I A R E L AT I O N S
Revolution and Media Relations Manager Grace Enriquez Media Relations
thankfully keeps his Associate Nicole David
TRADE MARkETING
shirt on. Trade Marketing Officer Candace Lobendino Sr. Trade Marketing
Right: Associate art Associates Caz Marino Trade Marketing Associate Kamille Guirnalda
Trade Marketing Ass. Jamie Islo, Angelica Anne Casacop, Daryl Lincod
director JL doing a Jr. Trade Marketing Project Coordinator Patric Malicdem
good job, of sleeping C R E AT I V E S O L U T I O N S
Team Art Director Jaykee Evangelista Copywriter Miguel Escobar
on the job, yet again. Digital Art Director Rey Etable Associate Art Director Jerome de Dios
Carlo Maala Senior Web Designer Teddy Garcia Producer Tara Llavore
C I R C U L AT I O N
Circulation Manager Alma M. Madelo Deputy National Circulation
COR R ECTI NG H UG E FLU BS! Manager Glenda Gil Circulation Manager-GMA Alaine Mae Lozada
We would also Proper credits Provincial Sales Manager Alexis Martinez International Distribution
like to apologize for Aubrey Mile’s Specialist Ulyssis Javier Distributors Group Head Caroline Herrera
for unintentionally hairstylist in our key Accounts Group Head Malou Rubinos Subscriptions Group
exchanging the feature story, “She’s Head Hanna Montecer Circulation Supervisor Mary Fatima Flores
names of two the Boss,” published Systems Administrator - Interactive Editions Rico Cruz, Ron Silang
members of the last month goes to key Accounts SpecialistVivian Manahan, Charlotte Barlis, Noreen
band Queso, namely, MJ Rone for Cynos Sescon-Peligro, Jinky Rose Calugtong, Jennifer Tolentino, Jenny Reparep,
Otcho Toleran and Inside Hair Care. Lhon Bituin, Nathaniel Embiado, Felix Tong II Distributor Specialist-
Enzo Ruidera, and North Luzon Mark Elliot Villola Distributor Specialist-Central Luzon
two members of Gian Carlo Peralta Distributor Specialist-Central Visayas Robert
Sorry for misspelling the name the Blackwater Elite Lastly, sorry for using Revilla Distributor Specialist-Western Visayas Ivan Dela Pena
of Ma. Isabel “Mabel” Abigania, in Basketball team, the photos of a Distributor Specialist-Central Mindanao Eric Ferdinand Gasatan
“PROJECT: QUAKE.” Also to clarify, Frank Golla and completely different Newsstands Supervisor Joel Valdez Sales Representative-GMA
“There are two descriptors for the Carlos Reyes, in our venue in our story, John Lakhi Celso, Edward Caringal, Anjelyn Joy Carino Subscription
earthquake strength. Magnitude is Upgrade feature “Let’s head over to the Coordinator Jofet Abad-Legaspi, Joyce Ann Ramos, Raquel Lorenzo
the measure of the energy released entitled, “Boys just South.” The Southside Distribution Account Analyst May Ann Ayuste Circulation
by the earthquake, while intensity want to have fun,” Collective event Administrative Assistant Marjorie Abueme Circulation
is the effect of the strength of the published in our was held in Alabang Administrative Assistant Elnie Marie Santos Export Sales Assistant
ground shaking.” Now you know. September issue. Commercenter. Legui Brylle Gonzales Telemarketer Michelle Jayin, Ruby Rose Frias

6 FH M NOVEMBER 2015 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

 Get in touch!

letterS 11/15 FaCebook.Com/

Fhm.Ph
ins tagR am@
FhmPhiloFFiCial
tWitteR.Com/
FhmPhil
Fhm@summitmedia.
Com.Ph
6F & 7F Robinsons
CybeRgate CenteR
toWeR 3 PioneeR
ComPlex, PioneeR st.,
mandaluyong City 1550

WOW, THAT’S VERY DETAILED!

I finally got my new October FHM
Special Issue No.183! #fhmsquadgoals
#fhmbombsquad @FHMPhil
jedaustria, via Twitter

BIRTHDAYS ALL AROUND!

Hello FHM! I just wanted to wish
my boyfriend, Jay Ulibas, a happy
birthday through your mag. He has
been a collector and fan since he was in
college, and I would really appreciate
it if you can include my greetings for
him in your magazine. This will make
him really happy, thank you very
much! Keep rockin’ FHM Philippines!
Jose Ynaffmilk, via Facebook

BEST GIFT EVER

Hey FHM! It’s my dad’s birthday this
October 30, and he’s a big fan of your
magazine. He’s always the first guy to
WE HEAR YOU, buy a copy of your magazine as soon
BRO! as it’s up on the stands, so I wanted
My 12-year to surprise him by getting his picture
collection—my way published in his favorite magazine.
of saying “Thank you Hope you can help me out with my
FHM. Keep up the meaningful and wonderful gift to him.
good work.” Belated happy birthday, daddy!
Mark Anthony Chise Alcantara, via Facebook
Gatchalian, via email

8 FH M NOVEMBER 2015 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

 FHM NOW THAT’S A
MOMBOD
SelFIe OF tHe
p ic k ! I’d like to greet my very m o n t h
hot wife and mother of
two, a belated happy
6th anniversary. She’s
31 years old but she
still has that “hot
damn” body because
she always watches her
diet. I’m proud to be her
hubby, and that’s why
I hope you can publish
this sexy picture of
hers. Thank you so
much guys, and more
power to your mag!
Niño Aise Barrientos,
via Facebook
That killer fedora
‘stash combo!
Charly M A Antony,
MAKE YOUR MAMA PROUD via Facebook
Hey it's your Mr. Letter Of The Month of November from
2010, the seaman guy. I justed wanted to thank you for
publishing my letter. Sobrang naging proud sa akin yung
nanay ko that time dahil siya yung laging bumibili at tHIS MONtH’S
nagpapadala sa akin ng FHM every time I was, out at sea.
She passed away last June, and I just miss her so much.
I want to make her proud one last time. I love you, Nay. I
really miss you so much. Forever a mama’s boy.Christian o n E - LI n E R S
Baldemor, via email

MAN ON FIRE
Greetings! My husband
is an avid fan of FHM.
He dreams of having his
picture included in the
pages of your magazine. I
hope you can publish his
photo in your next issue.
Thanks and more power.
Rosemarie Jeth Marcos-
Domingo, via Facebook

SHE ALDUBS YOU BRO!

LUCKY HAPPY HUBBY! My hubby, who’s always busy man—
THIRTEEN My husband will celebrate his birthday because he’s a chef and a business
An advance happy this coming October 30, so I hope you still finds time to watch his favorite
13th year anniversary can put in this greeting as my gift for kalyeserye. Please include this picture
on November 17, 2015 him. Happy birthday to my favorite of him as an advance birthday gift
to my wife Cindy. We guy. I love you! Thanks FHM! Great job to him on Nov. 26. Many thanks!
love you! on your magazine! God bless and more Maimbag nga aldaw yu amin.
Urotshimaru, via power to your team. Chiclet Alfonso, Tuguegarao City
email Chatterly Badiongan, via Facebook

10 FH M NOVEMBER 2015 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial

STARTER

Wi s d o m Yo u
s h o u l d n’t
l e ave h o m e
Wit h o ut

Woot!

Wh i stle R
BaBY
getting down on the floor with ChAnelle KUhn

PHOTOGRAPHY: eJAY leUng of midnight bonKers

INTERVIEW: Ash mAhinAY
 MAKEUP: RIA AQUINO
HAIR: KIERLO VELASCO
Woot!

i have more bikinis

and lingerie than
normal clothes!’
That statement should
tell you all about what model
Chanelle Kuhn is prioritizing
on her trip here: getting (half)
naked and maxing out the
warm tropical weather. In
fact, she claims that she’d love
to walk around in a bikini
all day, but she doesn’t want
people to stare.
Well, Chanelle, if you really
don't want people to stare
at your figure, you should
probably don a grizzly bear
suit.
INSPIRING

ENGAGING

IGNITING

W W W. S U M M I T M E D I A .CO M . P H
 i always get Kate Upton! i think she’s great.
she’s very curvy and that makes her stand out’
How did we end up on your
travel map?
I met a friend from here who was
visiting Canada for the first time, so
I decided to head to Asia to check out
her homeland. I’ve been here for five
weeks. I've gone to Boracay,
You’re real nice. Is it because the
Canadian stereotype, about being nice,
is true?
I think, for the most part, we’re pretty
polite, ha ha!
What is the most impolite thing
you’ve done lately?
When did I last get wild? I guess while
traveling, I just like to party. I like the
beach or pool clubs rather than normal
clubs. We don’t have a lot of pool clubs in
Canada, but we do have a lot of water!
Really?
My town, Penticton, is surrounded
by water, it’s a city by a lake. So I’m a
water baby—I spend all my time there!
16 Fh m NOVEMBER 2015
What else do you have back home?
I have a dog named Coco. She’s an
Italian greyhound—that’s like a
miniature greyhound!
And what keeps you preoccupied?
I’m just modeling right now, but
I was a Canadian Football League
cheerleader before I started traveling.
It’s a lot of fun; I can do cartwheels and
somersaults, ha ha!
Can you do a somersault in bed?
Sure? Actually, I don’t know what to
say to that! I actually don’t know any
dirty moves; I’m being Canadian right
now am I not? Ha ha!
A bit. Our makeup artist thinks you
look like Barbie. Ever get that?
I always get Kate Upton! I think she’s
great. She’s very curvy and that makes
her stand out.
Curvy girls often get a bad rap,
though.
I think you can’t really be a fashion
facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil •
model [if you’re curvy], we're more of
the commercial kind.
As we did this shoot by the large
building windows on the 20th floor,
we were afraid the window washer
might dangle down or something.
Did that bother you?
No, I’ve shot a lot in public, so I’m
pretty comfortable, ha ha! Like the
beach and on a glacier with a bunch of
people around. It was for a calendar,
and we took a helicopter up to a glacier
and shot up there–I was in a bikini, on
ice! And whenever I shoot outside, a lot
of people would stop and take pictures,
but they usually move along.
You don’t think they’re creepers?
I don’t mind. I think it’s a compliment
when people want to share photos.
But if you’re doing implied nudes or
something, I prefer they don’t take
photos, ha ha! Fh m
fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph
ALL-YOU-CAN-READ
EnjoyUNLIMITED access to your favorite magazines.
Download the Ookbee Buffet app and start your FREE trial subscription now.
 WORDS:
starterskill CHISE ALCANTARA
PHOTOGRAPHY:
KURT ALVAREZ
GRAPHicS:
LoUIS AREÑAS

SPEciAL THANKS TO:

SAFEHOUSE , MMA AND
FiTNESS GYM; AND
PHiLiPPiNE WRESTLiNG

“cLASSicAL” BRYAN LEO

Here
comes
the

PA I N M E
18 FH M NOVEMBER 2015
FR
facebook.com/FHM.ph •
A twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial
F l a s h
l hurt
s
yo
that’l ill your op
w
t l i n
y wre u more th
g

pone
an
nt!
s
move it

www.fhm.com.ph
As a kid, we’ve all
dreamt of jumping
from the top rope of a
turnbuckle and landing “RUTHLESS” MiGUEL ROSALES
on our opponent’s
body, pinning him
down for the count
as the crowd cheers CAStIGO
wild. But then we
were told it was all bRUtAL
fake and that killed it.
Well, here’s a kind of How it hurts him:
revenge for the killjoys: While this does hurt
the wrestling dream your opponent a lot,
is still real, and even since you’re twirling
better, because we him 360-degrees
have our own wresting while mid-air, he
scene. Presenting does get to use his
the entertainers arms to soften his
from, the Philippine landing and you
Wrestling Revolution don’t.
(PWR). These Pinoy Hurt inflicted: 4/5
pro-wrestlers are just Why it hurts you
ordinary guys who more: You’re
never gave up on basically slamming
their dream to make the combined weight
it into the squared of your whiplashed
circle, in the middle of bodies into the
hundreds of screaming ground to make this
fans who just want look believable. You
to see awesome (but also have to take
dangerous) moves into consideration
that’ll make “real that you have to
sports” look like child’s carry a fully-grown
play. Take a look at man on your
what they can do and shoulders.
take in the hurt...

REC
PCW (PAINFUL H U R T EIVE
CLASSIC D
WRECKAGE)
How it hurts him:
4.5 5
The back of your
opponent suffers the
brunt of the damage,
but the area of contact
is so spread out that it
minimizes the pain felt
by a huge margin.
Hurt inflicted: 1.5/5
Why it hurts you
more: It hurts your MARK D. PANALO MARKADONG PANALO
knees and most How it hurts him: make it look realistic,
probably your face To make this move the wrestler has to
since you’re slamming look realistic, your land solely on his ass
(guiding) his body to opponent’s head to get the most airtime.
the ground, adding should whiplash on
both of your weight to your shoulder, which
the impact. could be difficult
since it doesn’t make REC
contact with your
H U R T EIVE
REC shoulder. D
HU R T EIVE
D
Hurt inflicted: 1.5/5
Why it hurts you
3.5 5
2.55
more: This move
could easily injure your
lower back area, your
spine, your tailbone,
and definitely your ass,
if you keep doing it. To

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial NOVEMBER 2015 FH M 19

starterberserker

PETER VERSOZA

“SOciAL MEDiA SiNiSTER”

KEN WARREN

DROP KICK
How it hurts him: A or worse, your groin
fake neck snap is all if you fail to land
you need to make correctly.
ELbOW DROP this move believable.
That is, if he reacts
How it hurts him: in time. Two boots
This one really to the face will REC
depends on how heavy definitely hurt.
HU R T EIVE
you are compared Hurt inflicted: 1/5 D
3.55
to your opponent. If Why it hurts you
you’re 500 pounds and more: Dude, free-
he’s five feet tall than falling to the ground.
you’re probably going You could injure your
to kill him. back, wrist, leg, and/
Hurt inflicted: 2- /5
Why it hurts you
more: This move
hurts you more
because you’re not
really landing on your
opponent’s body SONIC CRUSHER
because that would
hurt. You’re actually How it hurts him: fall in many different
landing on the mat on You’re straggling and ways; you could injure
your side. dragging opponent’s your head, back, ass,
neck down with you as shoulders, and spine
you fall, which causes if you go too hard on
him great discomfort the fall.
and probably a stiff
REC neck the next day.

HU R T EIVE Hurt inflicted: 3/5

REC
D stiff necks included
U R T EIVE
2.55 H
Why it hurts you
D
3
more: The elevation
needed for you to RALPH iMABAYASHi
jump up takes a
lot of effort but the
falling part is the real
problem. You can 5
20 FH M NOVEMBER 2015 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph
starterlist
B ri n g on t he
wate r wor ks !
M om e nts t h at make yo u r
m a n - t ears f lo w
The man-tear—the purest,
rarest substance to
ever come out of a male
Homo sapiens’ eye. We
have never really felt
comfortable showing our
feelings in front of other
people, so it’s quite an
event when we do. But
how do we differentiate
crybabies from real Viking
warrior tears? Besides
getting kicked in the balls,
there has never actually
been a consensus on
when we should consider
tears manly, that is, until
now.
WORDS:
CHISE ALCANTARA
22 FH M NOVEMBER 2015
1
When your
favorite athlete
retires
Your favorite player
retiring is probably one
of the saddest yet most
fulfilling moments for
any sports fan. You’re
sad to see them go but at
the same time, you want
to thank them for all the
years they’ve made the
game worthwhile. The
game will never be the
same since you changed
it for all of us, idol.
facebook.com/FHM.ph •
2
Kid movies growing up
6
Finding out your wife or
All of us have a soft spot for girlfriend is pregnant
things we grew up with, so when This can either destroy or bring
good sequels for movies we love life back to a man’s world,
are made, reliving childhood feels depending on the circumstance
is a thing we can’t avoid. Having he’s in. Either way, you’re bound
a soft spot for Woody (the to cry a river once your girl brings
cowboy doll, guys) from Toy Story you the news. Just remember,
isn’t a thing to be embarrassed when she asks you why you’re
about. Or is it? crying just answer, “Oh, I’m just
so…so happy!”
3
When a badass cries
We’ve all heard that laughter Movie quotes
is infectious, but have you ever
attempted to hold back your that will
tears when the macho-est man soften your
you know is balling? The thing pusong bato
about a badass crying is that
whatever is causing him to break
like that must be something so “She loved me at my
hurtful that it would incapacitate worst, you had me at
any normal man. my best, at binalewala
mo lang ‘yun.” –
4
Popoy, One More
Chance
Inspiring speeches before
“I could have got more
you go into battle
out. I could have got
You and your comrades stand
more. I don’t know. If
side to side, shaking in your
I’d just... I could have
boots, in the face of an enemy
force, a hundred times larger
than yours. You guys were just
got more.” – Oscar
Schindler, Schindler’s
List
about to shit in your pants as
the enemy sounds their battle
“Hindi. Na. Kita.
cry, when your general starts
Mahal. Makakaalis.
reminding you why you’re here
Ka. Na. Seven words.
in the first place–why you’re
fighting. Your country, for
Yung 8 years namin,
kinaya niyang
freedom, for your love ones so
tapusin in 7 words.”
they could have a life after this,
- Mace, That Thing
your heart pounds as his words
Called Tadhana
echo inside your heart, tears, and
sweat run across your face as
“People keep saying
you ride into battle. Or was that
he’s not really
just a scene from Heneral Luna?
gone, as long as we
remember him. But
5
When your bro migrates
it still hurts.” - Hiro,
Big Hero 6
to another country “Sometimes, I think I
There are only a few bonds have felt everything
stronger than the one between I’m ever gonna feel.
“bros.” Your “bros” aren’t just your And from hereon out,
blood bros, but they are the guys I’m not gonna feel
who know your deepest, darkest anything new. Just
tendencies yet are still willing lesser versions of
to share a bed with you when what I’ve already
you’re both drunk. And the day felt.” –
has finally come when you have Theodore,
Her
to part ways, a montage of all
your greatest moments will just
flash right before your eyes,
as that song starts playing in
the background, “I’ll tell you all
about it when I see you again...”
twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph
Brace yourselves
for the aftershock.

#f i tfo rple asu r e

FRESH
LOOK

PREMIERE EARTHQUAKE
Vibrating O-ring for
earth-shattering experience.
starter
BAR R O O M Singing a
JOKES
different tune
A man cheats on his
girlfriend Lorraine with a
woman named Clearly.
Lorraine dies suddenly.
Do y ou r ememb er At the funeral, the man
l a ug h t er? stands up and sings, “I
can see Clearly now,
Lorraine is gone.”
BokuNoPico, via
Facebook
Identification
Allan dies in a fire and his body is One more chance
badly burned. The morgue sends for his
After his annual checkup,
John learns that he has a
two best friends, Peter and Jimmy, to rare disease, and only
identify the body. Peter arrives first, and 12 hours left to live.
when the mortician pulls back the sheet, His wife tearfully says,
Peter says, “Yup, his face is burnt up “Honey, I’m going to
give you a night you’ll
pretty bad. You better roll him over.” The
never forget.” They make
mortician rolls him over, and Peter says, passionate love with an
“Nope, not Allan.” The mortician thinks ardor they haven’t felt in
this is strange. Then he brings Jimmy years. When they’re done,
in to identify the body. Jimmy takes a Bob asks his wife, “Can
look at Allan’s face and says, “Yup, he’s we do it again?” This time
it’s even more passionate.
pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.” The
Later, as she is about to
mortician rolls him over and Jimmy doze off, John gives her a
says, “No, it ain’t Allan.” The mortician nudge and says, “Honey,
asks, “How can you tell?” Jimmy said, I know it’s getting late,
“Well, Allan had two assholes.” “What? but I think we can do it
one more time.” “That’s
He had two assholes?!” exclaims the
easy for you to say,” she
mortician. “Yup, every time we went to complains. “You don’t
town, folks would say, ‘Here comes Allan have to get up in the
with them two assholes.’” morning.”
Paulina, via Facebook JohnLorde, via
Facebook
24 FH M NOVEMBER 2015 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil •
“Pinaglihi ka ba sa
keyboard?”
“Kasi type kita.”
Albert, via Facebook
I LLU STR ATI O N: M I K K E GALL AR D O
“Ibibili na kita ng
salbabida”
“Kasi malulunod ka sa
pagmamahal ko.”
Benga, via Facebook
“Magaling ka siguro
bumuo ng mga puzzles”
“Kasi nakita lang kita,
nabuo na araw ko.”
Bastusin, via
Facebook
“Minamalat na naman ang
Kokak
puso ko…”
“Paano kasi, lagi na lang
sinisigaw yung pangalan
A grandson runs up to his mo.”
grandfather and asks him Tentacle Snap, via
if he can talk like a frog. Facebook
“Of course not,” says the
grandfather. “Nagsusuka ka ba ng
A few minutes later, mga rainbows?”
his granddaughter asks “Kasi may kulay ang
him the same question. buhay kapag lasing ka.”
“No, of course not. The Cheese, via
Why are you both asking Facebook
me this?”
The granddaughter
replies, “Dad said that DIRTIEST JOKE
SHE
when grandad croaks, we
can go to Disneyland.”
TabloidWriter, via
Facebook K N OWS
Grave digger
An old couple hate each
other, but remain married
for years. The old man
constantly warns his
wife, “If I die first, I will
dig my way up and out
of the grave to come
back to haunt you!” One
day, the man finally dies.
After the burial, the wife
immediately goes out to
party. Her friends ask if Q: What’s the difference
she isn’t worried about between a G-spot and a
her husband digging
golf ball?
himself out of the grave. A: A guy will actually
The wife smiles, “Let the search for a golf ball.
old fart dig. I had him Nicole, 21, Graphic
buried upside down!” Artist
Kanye, via Facebook
fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph
 LOUNGE
PHOTOGRAPHY:
EJAY LEUNG
OF MIDNIGHT BONKERS
STYLING: BELA VITUG
HAIR AND MAKEUP:
ANNE CASTAÑO
WINGWOMAN LOGO:
AUGGIE FONTANILLA

THE RULES OF
U N D RESSING
You think you know how to get ladies
nekkid? Our wingwoman offers a fresher
perspective…

PA RT 1
THE STUFF UNDER YOUR PANTS
People tend to forget the importance of underwear. If
she feels like a million dollars in her panties, she will
feel sexier and more comfortable in her body. This
isn’t just a lady thing; the same applies to you as well.
Fussing over ratty boxers or bacon briefs is a waste
of energy—energy that should instead be focused on
being confident and leading in the sack. Here is a little
cheat sheet to make things easier…

Do wear DoN’t wear

BAS I C , SO lID -C O lO R ED UN D I ES RATTY BOxERS OR BACON BRIEFS

Wearing polka dots or
patterns is distracting,
and doesn’t really
highlight your ding-dong,
if that’s what you’re
aiming for, ha ha!
The moment they start
fading, restock! It’s not
just about the ladies—
you don’t deserve to be
in old undies.

UNDIES IN THE RIgHT SIzE U N D I E S w I T H S I l lY D E S I g N S

This is probably one ON THEm (wITH ExCEPTIONS)
of those real times I always say don’t
when size is important. wear what you’re not
Oversized and teeny tiny comfortable with just for
boxers and briefs are style, but If you can carry
unflattering. it, feel free to do so.

26 FH M NOVEMBER 2015 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

 PA RT 2
TAKINg THINgS OFF
U N D o I N G H e r B ra
Removing a bra is quite easy, it
just takes a bit of practice. Here
are ways to go about it…
Let your hands wander for
a bit. Going straight for her
bra can be a turn-on for some
ladies, but most of the time,
ladies love it when you go
through the motions and heat
things up first. Letting your
hands wander to her tasty parts
lets you test the waters. When
the time is right, put your arms
around her and fiddle with the
straps.
Reach for the clasp with one
or both hands. The obvious
route, and the quickest way to
get the thing off of her, is to
use fingers on both hands. If
your other hand is busy heating
her up, use your dominant hand
to sneak through her back (or
front, depending on the bra
type) and find the hook. Use
your forefinger and thumb and
do a quick snap motion around
the hooks.
Or peel off the bra pads like
a petal. If the plastic hooks get
a little tricky to undo, you can
always lift up or pull down the
bra cups, and let her take care
of undoing it later. Or you can
leave the bra on and squeeze
your hands through the bra
pads. A bit of clothing can be
exciting.

P e e L I N G o F F H e r Pa N t I e S
Okay, so this is a no-brainer because who really thinks about taking off their ladies’ panties? It just happens. It’s
more a reflection of what you’ve done and/or could be doing instead—

Clasp the waist Insert your hands

garters on each in the crotch area Use your toes and
side and peel it and pull from the knees
down quick or slow inside down

CONVENTIONAL C R E AT I V E

Ask her to take it Use your teeth

off for you

lasted about D IV I N e ’ S r U L e S o F 2) She’s already taking off her

six months, and U N D r e SS I N G own clothes, or unbuttoning
then I realized
U D ID N ’T Or, how you can feel like Ryan your pants. But if you’re going
T H IN g S Y O B O U T I could only be Gosling while undressing slow and are unsure of your
KNOw A really interested
IT l A N D - without actually having his lady’s rhythm, it might kill the
D IV IN E m A H
in women. I do body… mood if you suddenly start
have man-crushes
S m IT from time to time;
unbuttoning your pants.
Don’t hide and slink off.
it’s easy for me Hiding and slouching off shows Pack confidence and a
to say that a man you aren’t comfortable and sense of humor.
is attractive—but
She’s been this isn’t the same
creates tension. Concentrate on The only real way out of
her, and not on you. uncomfortable and awkward
with a guy as saying I’m situations is having the ability
Yes, I have sexually attracted Ask before undoing. to just laugh about it. And the
dated a guy to guys. I feel that There are exceptions. You thing about confidence is, if
when I was this advice goes don’t ask if: 1) You’re both in you have it, she’ll have it, and
younger. I think out for everyone: sync, going at a quick pace, there will be no more room for
I was 15 then. Don’t be afraid to and know what’s coming next; fumbling and awkwardness.
Our relationship be who you are.

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial NOVEMBER 2015 FH M 27

 LOUNGE

AN ILLUSTRATED GUIDE OF

UNBECOMING
BROS
AKA all the ex-
boyfriends she ever
had, and how not to
end up like them…
WORDS: RON JAY EDUVAS
ILLUSTRATIONS: LOUIS ARENAS
 L O U N G E D AT E H A C K S

OUR
STATS SAY

REASON FOR
BREAKUP

THE SELF-CENTERED, INSENSITIVE GUY Too strict BIG ON LIP SERVICE

Her problem: “One time I had a misunderstanding
with my family and I felt really down. I needed him to
comfort me, but instead, he went out with his friends.
Galing no?” – Julia, 20, mass comm student
Your move: Most women’s moods are cryptic. You
don’t know if they’re just having one of those swings
or having a legitimate bad day. To be sure: always ask
if her day is doing okay. Good for the both of you if it
is, and good on you the sensitive hero if it turns out
that she’s going through a rough patch.
Her problem: “I once had an ex who was a smooth
talker, but didn’t really get anything done when it
Always fighting came to our relationship. What’s worse, he’s a total
baby; his parents do everything for him.” - Darline,
24, model
Third party Your move: Grow a spine. Be a man of less talk,
more action. Or more talk, but even bigger action—
especially in the sack. Let’s see what she’ll have to
Fell out of love say about that.

Found someone
better

HOW SHE SEES

YOUR STEEZE

Jeans-and-sneaks guy

Hangs-out-at-the-
MR. KNOW-IT-ALL
Her problem: “Lahat na lang alam niya. I can never
win against him in an argument.” - Joana Marie, 22,
fashion designer
Your move: Exercise self-reflection. Is being
right—or believing you’re right—all the time worth
losing precious MOMOL? Will one-upping her in the
game of wits give you the upper hand in the game
of kinks? The answer is obviously, no. Now you know
what to do.
club guy
THE PERSON WHO DOESN’T SHOW UP
Her problem: “He’s not really big on social
Very formal gatherings, and he refuses to meet my friends. It’s
as if he’s saying to my face that he won’t exert any
effort to meet the people who are important to me.
Lost in K-pop DoTA is a bigger priority. Well I said, good riddance.”
- J-em, 22, stylist
Your move: If you can’t be bothered to show, make
Walang style sure it’s clear that the two of you are “just dating” or
in a “complicated” place, and in no actual terms “in a
relationship.” That way, you can get back to your shut-
in gaming without being labeled a douche.

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial NOVEMBER 2015 FH M 29

L O U N G E D AT E H A C K S

HOW SHE
LABELS
YOU

Sakto lang

TOO SERIOUS Mukhang emo WO M A N I Z E R / C H EAT E R / F L I RT

Her problem: “Maturity in relationships is good, yes.
Pero siyempre, kailangan pa rin naman ng lambing.
My ex was always too serious!”
– Kathy, 24, freelance model
Your move If you’re clueless as to what makes
grown women giggle, use that seriousness and ask
her outright: San ka ba kinikilig? Do exactly as she
says, or tweak according to your talents. Dubsmashing
“God Gave Me You” a la Alden Richards can’t be all
that bad, in intimate settings at least.
Her problem: “I had an ex who pretty much hit on
every girl he made eye contact with. Over time, I got
Artsy-fartsy tired of all the extra-curriculars, especially when I
found out he really had a side chick” – Darline, 28
Your move: Ano ba naman yan, bro? Noob move!
If you’re bad at lying and can’t practice monogamy,
Chubby don’t get caught in an “exclusive” relationship.
Tall and skinny

Good looking

WILL SHE
TAKE YOU
BACK?

PUBLIC-DISPLAY-OF-AGGRESSION GUY Yes THE DISAPPEARING ACT

Her problem: “When he’s angry, patay na. Parang
okay lang sa kanya mapahiya ako. We often fought
in public.” - Jess, 26, graphic artist
“One of my ex slapped me in public. It was a painful
experience, physically and emotionally.” - Joyce, 26,
events photographer
Your move: Hey, the ladies aren’t the only one with
a temper. But hurting her? Really?! No excuse is
legitimate. You don’t deserve to be with a girl. Period.
Her problem: “For months, we were okay. We went
out, hung out with our friends, did usual “couple”
things. Then all of a sudden he stopped replying to
my texts. Neither was he returning my calls, I even
No went to his place. Yun pala may iba ng ka-date. He
didn’t even have the balls to break up with me.” -
Shayne, 30, call center agent
Your move Break up with her. Break up with her
Undecided even if you’re just dating, and break up with her
when you aren’t sure you’re even a “thing.” Para
malinaw.

30 FH M NOVEMBER 2015 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

LOUNGE SEX

Staying Backstory:
Food historian Felice
Prudente Sta. Maria says
that the idea of oysters

power
fueling the love drive
can be traced back to
ancient times. “Venus (the
Roman goddess of love
and beauty) is depicted to
come from a shell, which
can be interpreted as a
We enlist the help of giant oyster.” Also, the
other Roman gods have
food and science to tried snatching up her
give you the ability pearl every chance they
got.
to make her swoon Will it work?
uncontrollably “All shellfish contain
calcium, iron, iodine,
phosphorous, vitamin B,
and glyco-phosphates.
Basically, all the essential
WORDS: pampagana and nutrients
CHISE ALCANTARA to give you stamina,” Sta.
Maria says.

SPECIAL THANKS TO:

FELICE PRUDENTE
STA. MARIA, AUTHOR
AND CULTURAL
HERITAGE ADVOCATE

Backstory:
Used as far back as
500 B.C. as an all-around
remedy, from cuts and

1
burns, to colds and sore
throat. Greek physician
Hippocrates prescribed
the combo of milk and
honey for “love and
ecstasy.”
Will it work?
“There is a sudden high
when the sweetness
affects the bloodstream.
It is also a quick source
Nature always had a great of energy,” Sta. Maria
supply of mojo going says. You know what that
energy is for.

2 You may have panot

genes that are dormant
products like Hairegen
is packed with Vitamins
in your 20s, but later D and E, iron and
down the line you will magnesium, plus all the
Nip bald have to make a choice
between going full-on
“good-guy-acids”: alpha-
linolenic, linolenic, and
spots in kalbo or using hair
re-growing products.
essential fatty acids—to
save your full head of

the bud We say start early. Anti-

thinning and anti-hairfall
mop from disappearing.
facebook.com/hairgen

32 FH M NOVEMBER 2015 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

Backstory: Consumed by
the early Aztec emperors
to fuel sexual trysts. Sta.
Maria adds it was “favored
by the religious so they could
stay awake during required
evening and early morning
prayers.”
Will it work?
It’s got two things going
for it: tryptophan and
phenylethylamine—chemicals
in the brain that are related
to sexual arousal and
stimulations suggestive of
“falling in love.”
Get an
extra
push
3
If you’re still skeptical
of aphrodisiacs, then
FDA-approved dietary
supplements are
probably your best bet.
What are calculated
milligrams of ginseng
AD
extract and horny goat
weed after all, if not
to boost your mood
and sustain erections
on end? Take one or
two tablets of Robust
dietary supplement for
men an hour or two
before nookie and you’ll
get that extra push.
Available at major
drugstores and
supermarkets;
facebook.com/
ATCrobust

,
LOUNGE
LADIES
CONFESSIONS
For the love of
early emissions
I have a premature ejaculation
fetish. I love making guys
come even if they’re holding
back, though, I do make it
clear that they do have to take
care of me afterwards. I first
learned that I had this fetish
when I made out with my
first boyfriend I was grinding
on top of him, with my butt
cheeks rubbing against
his cock. After a couple of
minutes, I felt him go soft then
34 Fh M NOVEMBER 2015
MODEL:
MelISSA PAUlO
PhOtOgraPhy:
ReY TRAJANO
StyLINg:
JeSSICA FANG
MaKE UP aND haIr:
KRYSTAl ReNee
MODEL aPPEarS
FOr ILLUStratION
PUrPOSE ONLy
Adventures in fetish
I saw a wet patch growing on I just liked to watch him twitch
his pants—I had never felt so as I massaged his sensitive
horny in my life. He let out a soft dick while playing with
soft moan, and was breathing strings of cum dripping
ALwAyS hErE
pretty heavily. He apologized, from my hand. Now, I am
but I smiled at him and said tO LIStEN, slowly starting to understand
it was okay, and that I really LADIES! what I like about premature
liked it that he came. I reached ejaculation. I really like the
into his pants and started fact that I can control men,
spreading his semen all over Keep sending and bend them to my will. It’s
his pubic hair and crotch. He your escapades to really empowering to have that
asked me why I was doing fhmladiesconfessions power over them—deciding
that, but back then; I really @gmail.com or when they have their moment
didn’t understand why it was Facebook.com/fhm.ph of unadulterated bliss.
so titillating for me. ButInReality, via Facebook
facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph
LOUNGE CONFESSIONS
“I started giving him a handjob
when suddenly, he reaches
for his socks and asks me if I
could use it to stroke him.”
you sock
I dated this guy who was kinda
weird in bed. It was our first
time to ever have sex so we
were both pretty excited about
it. We rented a motel room so
we wouldn’t be bothered by
anyone. We started making
out and I unzipped his pants.
I started giving him a handjob
when suddenly, he reached
for his socks and asked me if I
could use them to stroke him.
I thought he was joking at
first but he was really insistent
that I do so, so I reluctantly
obliged. I started jacking him
off with a sock on his dick and
he was really enjoying it, a bit
too much I would think since
he came into the sock after
a couple of minutes. That’s
when I knew I had to ditch
this weirdo because he wanted
me to eat the cum that was in
his sock like girls would do in
some porn movies my current
boyfriend would let me watch.
I excused myself and never met
up with him again.
Velma, via Facebook
Burn baby burn
One hot summer night,
the water company that
supplied water to our
36 Fh M NOVEMBER 2015
baranggay decided it would
be a wonderful idea to stop
supplying water during this
drought. We were really sticky
and sweaty while laying on the
bed when my hubby suddenly
put his arm around me and
started massaging my breast.
I scolded him, “Ano ba? Ang
init!” He retorted, “Eh ang
boring eh. Sige na...” I couldn’t
resist his puppy dog eyes. I
told him that the only way he
would convince me to have
sex was to make himself smell
fresher. He got our isopropyl
alcohol and started rubbing
some on his body. I guess he
wasn’t thinking straight and
accidently put some on his
dick which I could tell, burned
like hell. I started blowing on
it to relieve some pain, and
that’s when I noticed him start
to get hard so I blew his dick
in a different way. It was one
of the funniest and sexiest
experiences we’ve had so far as
a couple.
PyroIra, via Facebook
Manwich
I’m a straight female, but I
really like watching porn of
gay guys pleasuring each
other. Sometimes I wish I was
facebook.com/FHM.ph •
sandwiched in-between them
as they would grind up against
MEANwhILE, each other. I asked two of my
IN LADy hot bisexual guy friends to
PArtS I.Q. have a threesome with me
and they miraculously said,
yes. I was really, really, happy
that they agreed so I really
got in some goods hours at
It’s in the pits
the gym, and prepped myself
the patch of skin
beside her boobs for our scheduled ménage
and under her arms à trois. The weekend finally
is another female came, and I thought I was
erogenous zone ready for them, but I was in
(area sensitive to for quite the workout. One of
sexual stimulation). them started going at me from
For this reason, behind, doggy style, while the
fetishes like other started mouth-fucking
consensual axilisim me. The one thrusting from
(sticking it in her behind flipped me over and
kilikili) should be as squeezed my nipples which
satisfying for her as made me cum a little. All the
it is for you. while, I was almost choking
from the other guy’s huge
dick. They made me their play
thing for a good two hours. We
were all really exhausted after
they both came inside of me.
It felt like I ran two, very hard
marathons that day, but I can’t
wait for the next time where
they are planning one more
friend to come along. Three-
on-one makes it even more
exciting!
FitBitch, via Facebook
twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph
ACCESS
NOVEMBER
M O N T H LY
VI P PASS
WORDS: JULIUS FERNANDEZ
01
F I LM
Bond by the
numbers
ThIs MonTh sees The 24Th
InsTaLLMenT To The JaMes Bond
FILM, whIch sTars Four-TIMe 007
danIeL craIg. here, a reFresher
oF The oTher Tux-wearIng
agenTs ThaT were…
01
George Lazenby only got
one shot to play James
Bond because he
passed on a 7-year
contract–he thought
that the emerging
counterculture of
the era meant the
movie franchise
was passe. Well,
obviously…
2015
YO U R
02
Academy-award winning
Bond Girls in the movie
canon: Halle Berry and Kim
Basinger. Also the number of
times Timothy Dalton starred
as 007.
03
Women undeniably killed by
James Bond: Naomi in The
Spy Who Loved Me, Xenia in
Goldeneye, and Elektra in The
World Is Not Enough.
04
Pierce Brosnan and Daniel
Craig have four James Bond
movies each to date.
05
The five actors who played
Q: Peter Burton, Demond
Llewelyn, Alec
McCowen, Monty
Python’s John
Cleese, and
Parfum’s Ben
Whishaw.
06
Sean Connery, first onscreen
Bond of the Eon 007-era, had
five consecutive movies plus
one more in 1971 (Diamonds
Are Forever). He would have
had seven, but the movie
Never Say Never Again does
not belong to the Eon-
produced James Bond films.
07
Number of Roger Moore
films–the one with the
most James Bond roles in
Eon-produced James Bond
movies.
08
US Billboard Peak ranking
of these OSTs: Goldfinger
(Shirley Bassey), Die Another
Day (Madonna), and Skyfall
(Adele).
09
Total number of times Italy
and France were featured as
Bond’s destination, with Italy
having four (For Your Eyes
Only, Casino Royale, The Spy
Who Loved Me, Moonraker)
and France having five
(Thunderball, Diamonds are
Forever, Moonraker, A View to
Kill, and Goldeneye).
10
Most number of times one
sole actor in the movie series
said “Bond. James Bond.” It
was by Roger Moore.
11
110 minutes was the running
time of the first Eon-produced
Bond film, Dr. No, which is
three minutes longer than
Quantum Solace (shortest
with 107 minutes).
12
Number of average alcohol
units intake for all 23 Bond
movies. Highest was in
Casino Royale with 26 units,
and lowest is in License To
Kill with four units.
13
Car brands used by James
Bond: Sunbeam, Land Rover,
Citroen, Toyota, AMC, GM,
MP Lafer, Lotus, Renault,
Bentley, BMW, Ford, and
14
Asian countries visited
by James Bond: Russia,
Kazakhstan, Turkey, Lebanon,
Azerbaijan, Afghanistan, India,
Pakistan, China-PRC, Hong
Kong-SAR, Japan, Vietnam,
Thailand, and North Korea.
15
Number of American Bond
Girls out of the 75 total:
Tiffany Case, Plenty
O’Toole, Bambi,
Thumper, Rosie Carver,
Anya Amasova, Holly
Goodhead, Bibi Dahl,
Stacey Sutton, Linda,
Pam Bouvier, Lupe
Lamora, Paris Carver,
Dr. Christmas Jones,
and Jinx.
16
Product when you multiply
the digits in the time
signature (4/4) of the James
Bond original soundtrack,
which was composed by
Monty Norman.
17
1.78 meters–Daniel Craig’s
height. He happens to be the
shortest among the James
Bonds.
18
Total number of women
kissed by Sean Connery as
James Bond.
19
Vodka martinis imbibed in
the whole duration of the
Bond flicks. Specifically, vodka
martinis—but he also knows
his whiskey, Bollinger, Tattinger,
02
F I LM
Doomsday
20
Number of women kissed by
Roger Moore as James Bond,
games
arguably the most elegant The usa geTs
British gentleman, who BLown up (agaIn) In
perfected the comic and the
action in the Bond franchise.
FaLLouT 4
If you’re the miserly type who only
buys a game if it can guarantee
10 or more hours of playtime,
Fallout 4 is the game for you:
You can easily spend a hundred
hours running around its post-
apocalyptic wasteland.
What is there to do? Quite a lot, sir.
Build your own settlement
ala Minecraft crossed
with SimCity
Customize your suit
of power armor ala
modifying a car
21 Hot rod your guns with over
700 possible mods
21st of July 2005, “shaken,
not stirred” ranked 90 on a
list of best movie quotes by
the American Film Institute. Endlessly hunt for loot to craft
On the 21st of June 1962, objects because everything
the Bond theme song was has a purpose (unlike all those
recorded. spoons and forks you pick up
in Skyrim)
22
Caliber-.22 AR-7 with Unlock all 275 character perks
infrared telescope was
because there is no maximum
among James Bond’s player level
gadgets (From Russia With
Love). And don’t we love his
myriad of gadgets? Recruit all of 12 possible
companions. Have sex with
some of them
23
WORDS: ASH MAHINAY

Raki, Mint Julep, Mojito, 23rd Bond film–Skyfall–is the

Aston Martin.
Smirnoff, Suntory, Theotaki
Aspro, and so many more!
highest grossing Bond film of
all time.
24
Spectre is the longest James
Bond movie with a running
time of two hours and 40
minutes.
Make questionable moral
decisions with the Mass Effect-
esque dialogue system
Just mess around in general
because the game simply goes
on after you beat the main story!

NOVEMBER 2015 FH M 39
AC C ESS

Pinoy Komiks: The Pretender

An Anthology Noel Pascual
of Filipino Indie The title may scream
the Foo Fighters’ classic
Comics but the storyline, while
Various Artists
outright directionless,
Tunes in to historical
had no trace of
satire, folklore, and real-
pretension. Uncannily
life struggles. Basically a
illustrated and hilariously
compact cultural collective
action-packed, what you
from some of the best
see is what you get.
indie cartoonists in the
Philippines.

03
c oM Ics

Pick up that
komik! saTe your vIsuaL
sToryTeLLIng needs wITh
These LocaL graphIc reads

Tabi Po (1 & 2)
Mervin Malonzo
Think of Tabi Po as a
mythological Noli or El Fili.
Some of the issues Rizal
pointed out in those reads,
harks back with increasing
similarity here, right down to
the character names—albeit
in a more gory, lascivious
fashion.

Strange Natives: The

Boy With Capiz Eyes
Carlorozy Clemente
What if instead of the ghostly,
you’re able to perceive
Gastronomical elemental beings and nature
Visions folk that are really there but
Tilde Acuña aren’t? Strange Natives offers
WORDS:
A peculiarly psychedelic you a glimpse into that, then
PAULO AGUILERA tableau for you to interpret. proves that unruly boys are
PHOTOGRAPHY: Can either be nauseating better off with lola than in
HEIDI AQUENDE or filling to some. military school.

40 FH M NOVEMBER 2015 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

 Rodski Patotski: Ang Alamat Ng
Ang Dalagang Baby Panget & Many
Gerry Alanguilan/Arnold Other
Arre Apol Sta. Maria
Rodski is a born Einstein Apol Sta. Maria’s comic
with the EQ of a five-year- strips may look like it was
old. She’s recruited by the drawn by kids, but the
military who use her genius- story’s themes and source
grade IQ to create weapons material definitely aren’t.
of mass destruction. Sta. Maria’s humor is dry
Comic heavyweights Gerry and not for everybody.
Alanguilan and Arnold Arre
bring the drama and the
laughs in this odd, sci-fi
coming-of-age.

Patay Kung Patay

Mike Alcazaren, Noel
Pascual, AJ Bernardo
Straight out of a ’90s
action flick or political
biopic, with a plot that
thickens at every page
turn, and a cameo by
director and Internet
renegade, Jun Sabayton.

Terminal Seas
Mythspace Miles Fabonan
(Volume 1) A fisherman sets off on
Koi Carreon, Paul one of the most bizarre sea
Quiroga, Jules voyages imaginable. Will he
Gregorio, Mico ever find the elusive Eden’s
Dimagiba, Cristina Flounder in this sea of
Chua, Borg Sinaban mystifying sketches?
It’s obvious that Philippine
mythology is a fanciful
and integral part of our
rich heritage—have that
intersect with space above
and beyond and what
you end up with is this
compelling compendium of
multi-galactic sagas.

Rangirang
Apol Sta. Maria
A caricature conundrum
growing bewildering
by the page. Could be Lagimbal: Saving
mistaken for your younger the Messiah
brother’s coloring book. Patrick ‘RAWWRR’
Enrique
Pairs biblical elements
with a cuss-loving cowboy
protagonist. Usual aswang
suspects and western
adversaries are sprinkled in
for added flavor.

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial NOVEMBER 2015 FH M 41

AC C ESS

Unlike many electronic artists who

adopt a larger-than-life persona,

04 B.P. Valenzuela arrived at our

studio with a very laidback and
chill demeanor. Her first album,
The Neon Hour, is pretty much the
M US IC kind of sound you’d expect from an
album title that invokes visions of

Bedroom
city lights, the nighttime, staying out
late, and driving around.

You started young in the

industry. Were you a music
geek growing up?

Producer
…IS not what the “B.P.” In B.P. ValenzUela
StandS for, BUt It’S StIll rIght In a way!
In high school, I was a session
guitarist. I went to a high school
that allowed students to enjoy the
arts. We would form little bands and
they would always get me to play
the guitar.
How would you call your
music? Electronic?
Electronic pop. A lot of people
are, like, “Talaga? Electronic pop?”
because my music is moodier.
People think e-pop is bouncier,
although my music still retains some
element of that.
Do you think genres are getting
outdated in the modern music
age? Like electronic instantly
means Zedd or something.
Yeah! People think there’s just
EDM. My music also has electronic
elements, with a twist of pop to it.
Usually people feel defined by a
genre, but others can feel confined
instead.
Let’s describe The Neon Hour

sTYLinG: dEBRA BERnALEs; MAkEuP: AMAndA PAdiLLA; HAiR: EMMAnuEL HERnAndEz ii

as music to listen to when
_____.
People tell me it’s the perfect drive

PHOTOGRAPHY: EjAY LEunG Of MidniGHT BOnkERs; inTERviEw: AsH MAHinAY

or commute music, and it’s a huge
compliment because I wrote most
of it while in transit. I’d record
voice memos when I think about
something and that kind of feel
was an inspiration–that idea of
constantly moving.
What music do you play in the
car?
It depends on my mood–from ’90s
rock to trap [a raw amalgamation of
hip-hop and electronic] when I drive
talaga that’s when I soak in all the
inspiration. It takes two hours to get
anywhere right now so it’s a good
time to listen to a lot of music!
Finally, is B.P. a secret handle?
It’s my given name, but I never really
spell it out, ha
ha! it’s shorthand
‘a lot of PeoPle for a really long
name! Growing
are lIke, “ talaga ? up, people would
think I was a
eleCtronIC PoP?” dude. I don’t
know if it’s a
BeCaUSe My MUSIC IS gender thing to
have initials, but
MoodIer. PeoPle thInk people would
think I was a boy,
e-PoP IS BoUnCIer.’ ha ha! FH M
AC C ESS

05
EVE NT

What
would the Xidge Evangelista,
25, business owner

world be
I think the world will be more into
technology—hoverboards, floating
cars...outdated pirates maybe?
Pirates in space!

like 50
years from
now? ThE AsiAPOP COmiCON Elliot Miranda, 24, actor
mANilA 2015 COsPlAyErs TAkE I think vintage is coming back, and
ThE fuTurE iN ThEir hANds people are going to care more
about locally created stuff. We will Momo Santos,
have a strong sense of national 22, student
identity and pride, which I hope Pretty much the same, but with
INTERVIEW: PAULO AGUILERA won't translate into something we’d be able to go to the new
PHOTOGRAPHY: MARK JESALVA bad, like spark another Cold War. Earth already by then, or to a new
Let's not get back into that. planet they find!

MK Morreaux, 25, writer Edrich Oblepias, Pauline Basa, Jennelyn Rafael,

We'll probably have more
skyscrapers in the future, so high
we won’t see the ground! Plus,
Ultron might have a chance of
taking over.
24, graphic artist
Either we’ll go green, or sobrang
dumi ng Earth na kailangan natin
mag-colonize ng ibang planets. Ha
ha! Feel ko magiging ganun!
24, virtual assistant
Highly advanced na ’yung
technology—more infrastructure,
human communities. We'll focus
more on human civilization.
26, model
Masyado na siyang makabago.
Magiging maganda siya kung
magiging creative tayo as
a people.

44 FH M NOVEMBER 2015 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

Eru Calub, 20, student
More populated and even worse
pollution. More buildings will be
constructed and we'll have less
trees.
Tim G. Villazor aka
Timzter, 31, writer
I guess we'll survive as long
as people have faith among
themselves, do good, don’t overdo
things, and don’t overpopulate.
Rio Tanchuling,
21, student
I think the world would be like how
it would be in Back To The Future,
ha ha! With floating skateboards
and time travel, mga ganyan.
www.fhm.com.ph
Angel Mendoza aka
Angel Kitsuneko,
19, student
I guess more technological
advancement...and pollution!
Anicka Lyka Yu,
21, model
Mas malalang traffic, hindi lang sa
Edsa, pati sa probinsya! Lahat ng
tao maglalakad na lang by then.
Cosplayers will invade the world!
facebook.com/FHM.ph •
CatCh th e
Com plete
fi r st s eason
of m r. roBot
on i flix
06 TV
Disruptive
Behavior
COuNT ON hACkEr-VigilANTE ElliOT
ANdErsON TO sAVE ThE wOrld frOm
ThE EVil EmPirE As TV’s NEwEsT
ANTihErO iN mr. rObOT
Rami Malek (Short Term 12, Need for Speed ) portrays
anti-social computer geek Elliot Anderson, who has
serious skills for hacking into the world’s most dangerous
prisons, bank accounts, and the world’s richest and biggest
WORDS: ABBY MENDOZA
conglomerates. Sitting through a couple of episodes, you
can see how Mr. Robot is a pretty good assessment of
where society is now—the show’s underlying sentiments
touching on corporate greed, government policies, and the
evils of technology. Its appeal is a cross between Breaking
Bad’s brilliant but deviant protagonist, Walter White, and
Fight Club’s mind-boggling narration. Psychological thriller,
hacker drama, socio-political commentary—whatever else
you call it, Mr. Robot engages and enrages.
twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial NOVEMBER 2015 FH M 45
ph o togra phy MARK NICDAO int e rvie w ALLAN P. HERNANDEZ
I n a R ay m u n d o
 THIs Is
INA RAyMuNDO’s
gIfT TO HERsELf
As sHE TuRNs 40
NExT MONTH.
yOu HAvE TO sTOP
AND CONsIDER THE
sHEER PHysICAL
IMPOssIbILITy
Of THIs gIfT.
How is it that five children were
born out of this body, practically one
after another, yet its form has been
preserved, as though she were made
not out of bone and flesh but of some
gelatinous substance?
Even more fascinating, this process
of childbirth occurred naturally. No
doctor ever axed her open and pulled
out all those little tykes then sewed
her back shut. The laws of nature
shouldn’t have allowed. Something in
her should have collapsed or shriveled
up. And yet here she is, looking at 40
like she did at 20.
We are not making this up. If
you care to dig up that classic beer
TV commercial of 20 years ago on
YouTube, you’d know what we mean.
Watch her strut her stuff there and
WhIte loose tank top, stylIst’s oWn
you’d think some sort of rock and roll
voodoo was at work. Ina could still
pass for the Sabado Nights girl every
Pinoy guy fantasized about in 1995.
Ina was a bona fide pop culture
styl i n g b EA C O Ns T AN T IN O s t y l e a s s oc i a t e M O N IKA RA vA NERA a ssiste d by A NTONETH MANg y A O a nd AL bETH b ENIPA y O
m a ke up M AR LON suAR E Z ha ir R AyM OND M AT EO a ssiste d by JONAs fLOR Es
s p e c i a l t ha nks t o P AuLA PuNL A & OgI E R ODR I gu EZ of NAI LAHOLI Cs
phenomenon then. No one knew who
she was when that TV commercial
came out, and immediately right after
the first airing every guy was asking,
“Who is that girl?” This was pre-
Internet, pre-cellphone—the buzz was
purely word-of-mouth. Overnight, she
became the national crush.
So it was already set in stone that
when FHM Philippines debuted in
2000, Ina Raymundo would be one
of the pioneer cover girls. The story
of why it didn’t happen is right here.
This officially makes the November
2015 issue the longest we’ve ever had
to wait for a cover.
If you were born in 1995, you’re
staring at a fantasy.
If you were the guy asking who she
was back in 1995, you’re staring at a
fantasy that took 20 years to come true.
Ina has bridged the years and put
you under her spell.
Consider the sheer impossibility of
that…
 I n a R ay m u n d o

BlaCk laCe dRess By h&m

I n a R ay m u n d o

The back story of this cover is that
this should have happened 15 years
ago. Can you tell us how that came
to be?
Okay we’ll have to go back to 2000,
I had short hair then, and I had just
finished…that movie [she asked that
we not talk about it because she did not
want her kids to do some “research”]. I
remember shooting ko na the following
the day and then biglang nagkahika
ako—asthmatic ako, yun ang problema.
So hindi natuloy; I was very, very sick.
Hindi na siya naulit because shortly
after that I got pregnant. Ang feeling
ko it was not meant to happen then.
You said in our pre-production
meeting that you wanted this cover
as a gift to yourself on your 40th
birthday.
Yes, I’m turning 40 on December 9th.
In my mid-30s I knew that I wanted to
do something big on my 40th birthday;
ang original plan ko was to do a shoot
with Mark Nicdao for my personal
portfolio lang. And then suddenly your
offer came up—thank you very much!
I’m very flattered, but I feel bad at the
same time because for the past several
years I had always declined your offer.
I finally decided that if Mark was
going to be the photographer, I’d do it.
Why did you always say no?
Eh kasi naman lagi akong buntis! Ha
ha! I have five kids! So every, what,
two years pregnant ako, from 2001
hanggang 2013. So walang chance di
ba? I mean after giving birth I would
spend about a year breastfeeding—
leatheRette BodysuIt By Body paRty By donna VIllasanta (@BodypaRtyph)
wow, ang sexy ng topic natin ha ha! So
there was no chance. And also during
that time I felt that I was so motherly
na kalokohan na’ng mag-pose for
a men’s magazine. Ngayon ko lang
siguro nakuha ulit yung confidence
that I can still do it.
It’s strange that you’re having the
confidence of a woman in her 20s
now that you’re 40.
You know, bata pa lang ako I had
always kept to heart what they say
that life begins at 40. For the last 14
years I had dedicated myself to my
kids, so now I’m doing this for myself.
So do you feel younger now?
Yes, I do. I think this is what you call a
mid-life crisis!
Others go through their mid-life
crisis down and depressed, but here
you are very excited.
Ganon ba yon? Basta ako ang feeling
ko lang I want to do something
different. Di ba FHM means For Him
Magazine, pero I think yung cover
na to means For Her Magazine, kasi
I want to encourage women to be fit
and healthy after having kids, or even
without having kids.
Which brings us to the big question
we’ve always wanted to ask, seeing
how you aced this shoot: How were
five children born out of that body?
Parang wala namang nangyari!
Ha ha! You know, lahat ng anak ko
malalaki—they weighed, like, eight
pounds when I gave birth to them, the
youngest weighed in at almost nine
pounds. At lahat sila through natural
childbirth.
That’s exactly what we mean! As
far as we know, the rules say that
shouldn’t happen.
Sabi ng OB-Gyne ko, it’s amazing that
my hips somehow open up when I give
birth. So it’s really a gift, buti na lang.
Did you plan to have five kids or
were you and the hubby just so into
each other that you ditched family
planning?
The plan was to have three kids, so
yung dalawa bonus na lang. Pero
hanggang lima na lang—promise!
Sure na sure! Final answer!
But you have not been, you know,
ligated?
No.
Which leaves a 50 percent chance
that you will break your word. We
have to tell you that FHM has a
history of women who posed for us
getting pregnant shortly after.
Oo nga, you mentioned that nung pre-
production meeting natin. Sinu-sino
yung mga ‘yon?
No names, but they’re a handful.
I’m scared! Siguro after this, I will
wear really conservative clothes, ha ha!
Do your kids have any idea who you
are?
Actually, yes. Kasi ang daming
nagpapa-selfie with me. They say,
“Everyone knows you, mommy.”
We mean being a sexy celebrity?
Wala pa. But I think my eldest already
has an idea. She’s 13 and she thinks
that I’m not cool. She doesn’t like it
if I like their songs. When I sing one
of their songs they go, “Why are you
singing that song?!” so parang wala
akong karapatang kantahin yon kasi
kanta niya yon, ha ha!
Years later she’ll bloom into a
young woman—and FHM being FHM
we’re always looking for beautiful
women to be on the cover. When the
time comes, would you allow your
daughter to do the same?
Ask the dad, not me. She used to be
I n a R ay m u n d o
interested in the celebrity life, I would
take her to some shoots and she would
watch these soap operas. But now
she’s very different, she’s at that stage
of being a typical teenager.
What are the things you like about
this generation?
I like the music. Yung twerking, grabe
pwede ko yang pagkakitaan! Kasi
nung isang araw may ginawa akong
fitness video na I was twerking, and a
company paid me for it! Nung party
ng anak ko lang nagkatuwaan lang
kami nung brother-in-law ko na mag-
twerk, biglang, wow, ang daming may
gustong mag-twerk ako.
Okay, we’ll leave motherhood
problems because we’re beginning
to sound like Good Housekeeping.
Stalking your social media accounts,
we find that you seem like a workout
addict—you get into all sorts of
programs! We’re not complaining,
though, you look good doing it.
I just like to try new things. I’m
interested to try any workout that
takes less than an hour to do, kasi
gusto ko yung mabilis lang pero
intense, effective, yung tipong
pawisan. I love Zumba, I recently
started doing electric cycling. I do TRX
[suspension training], boxing, weights.
Hindi naman ako mabilis ma-bore—
yung TRX and Zumba I’ve been doing
them for three years and hindi pa rin
ako nagsasawa.
So you’re all for intensity and doing
it fast?
Right now, I’m all for intensity and
doing it fast. But someday, it’ll be
“nice and slow.” I’m talking about my
workout, okay?! Ha ha!
Since your kids shouldn’t be reading
this because they’re underage, we’ll
leave it at that to protect them. How
do you divide your time being a wife,
a mother, a celebrity, a workout
addict, and now a FHM babe?
As a wife I make sure that I give time
for my husband. Like earlier we had
breakfast together kahit na sobrang
busy ko. I’m super malambing. And
then with the kids, like yesterday
I accompanied them to their voice
lessons. I have to do it myself and I
have to keep to the a routine or else
things will turn out chaotic. Time
management is really very important
that’s why you need to keep fit para di
ka nauubusan ng energy.
But then you’re asthmatic.
I know! Pag hinika ako ibig sabihin
sobrang busy ko and sobrang pagod
and kulang na sa tulog.
 I n a R ay m u n d o

And then there’s Sabado Nights,

the beer commercial that made you
every guy’s fantasy overnight. That
was 20 years ago—looking back at it
now, how do you feel about that bit
of Pinoy pop culture phenomenon?
I know…it was fun. I just remember I
was very cool about it when I became
the Sabado Nights girl. I just enjoyed
every minute of it, that wherever I
go people would notice me, lahat sila
nagpapa-autograph—yun pa yung
uso no’n, wala pang pa-selfie. Tsaka
syempre, I was a nobody and then
overnight, I became famous. Ang
daming nagkaka-crush sa akin, ha
ha! And to think second choice lang
ako no’n. I was told they had already
chosen a girl, and the first day ng
shoot, they realized they had gotten
the wrong girl, kulang daw sa “landi,”
yun yung term nila. So ako yung pinili
nila…anong ibig sabihin no’n?! Ha
ha! I remember that night I was out
sa gimikan, and then suddenly my
manager called to tell me I should go
home na because I had a shoot that
morning at 7 a.m. Nagklamo pa ko
non kasi late notice. But I went to the
shoot anyway. And the rest is history.
So the Sabado Nights girl image was
really you.
Oo, ginagawa ko na yun kasi I was
already 19 at the time, I was starting
to have fun.
Twenty years later you can watch
the commercial on YouTube and it’s
still cool—your image, the song,
they’re both classics.
Ang ganda talaga kasi nung song!
One of my most favorite OPM
songs, “Sabado Nights” by Rizal
Underground.
Do you recall any of the wild tours
you went to as the Sabado Nights
Gold BodysuIt By Body paRty By donna VIllasanta (@BodypaRtyph)

girl?
I went everywhere—Cebu, Bacolod,
Iloilo, Bicol, lahat yun pinuntahan ko—
then we’d go to clubs to promote, grabe
ang daming tao and nagsisigawan sila
pag nakikita nila ko.
And the guys were…
Going wild! They would chant, “Ina!
Ina! Ina!” ako naman sasayaw. It was
a party mood, woo! Sobrang sarap
talaga, ang saya nung time na yon.
Hay, memories…
Now you’re active again. Do you
consider this a comeback?
I would say so, yes. A lot of people
thought I had lived abroad for time.
They would ask me, ‘O, gaano ka
katagal sa States?’ Bakit feeling nila
nasa States ako the whole time? I never
left. Nandito lang ako. Low-profile
and…pregnant, walang katapusang
pag-ire ng baby, ha ha!
I n a R ay m u n d o

Did you have a hard time reacquainting

yourself with the business?
Napansin ko lang ngayon mas maaga na
ang call time, 7 a.m. Dati 9 a.m. Ngayon
may tent na, may portalet, ha ha! May
sequence breakdown so you know what
you’ll be doing for the day, mas may
system definitely. I miss doing movies,
though.
We don’t mean to sound patronizing,
but looking at you, and at the younger
stars you sometimes take selfies with,
it doesn’t look like the age difference is
apparent, but you’re more than a decade
older than them!
Magaling yung makeup artist ko, ha ha!
Thanks! Maybe it’s my genes. My dad
is 68 and he looks good for his age. My
mom is 61 and it’s the same for her, she
looks young. I hope I could be the same
just by being healthy, by working out five
days a week. I recently saw on Instagram
a picture of a 59-year-old French model,
she was so sexy and beautiful and alam
mong wala siyang pinagawa sa face niya.
When I saw that I said to myself, “There’s
hope,” na you don’t have to go under the
knife. I used to think that I would probably
need [cosmetic surgery] when I turned 50
despite the fact na ayokong gawin, but
when I saw that French model—and she
looks great!—I want to be like her.
Let’s do an advice section now to close
this special cover: What golden bit of
wisdom would you give young couples.
There’s a couple fever right now
gripping the country.
So I’ve been married for almost 13 years
and we’ve been together 15 years, I guess
I’m qualified to dish out advice: Be friends
with your partner. You have to respect,
admire, and be comfortable with each
other. Lust and physical attraction are just
not enough. Di ba may mga couples na
grabe nila asarin ang isa’t isa? Na parang
friends lang kayo, kung i-humiliate niyo
ang isa’t isa ganon na lang—you shouldn’t
be that way.
And young, single girls?
Hay, girls…really? Love yourself. I have
four girls, right? So I’m really going to tell
them this pag malalaki na sila: There are
so many jerks out there, so you have to
be very careful. You have to love yourself
more.
That hurts.
No, seriously. Girls, you are worth more
than you think. You don’t have to be
conceited or mean, you have to be nice to
oVeR-the-knee Boots, stylIst’s oWn

people, but you have to think highly of

yourself.
And guys, our young readers, who may
or may not be jerks. We’re sure they’re
all gentlemen out there.
I’m not saying everyone’s a jerk, but there
are so many jerks out there, and it’s the
truth, di ba? Pero I have a son, and I’m
teaching him to be a gentleman, to never
break a girl’s heart, to respect women
because, come on, he has four sisters and
an awesome mom! FHM
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 WOrDS: ANDY JONES, FHM PHILIPPINES
or most of us,
discounted
airfares are
normal and
business class—and
wow, first class—is
something that happens
to other people. But
what’s so wrong with a
little splurge? Because
02 be charminG
TripAdvisor Flights tips that
with more people booking
online, there are fewer
people asking the question,
“Is the flight full? If you’re
looking to upgrade
someone then I’m
available.” (Tip: Best pulled
off in international flights).
Other factors: a broken
seat, faulty entertainment
system, or sitting next to a
screaming baby can
potentially get you moved
up on a flight.
illuStratiOnS: LOUIS ARENAS
our inner cheapskates
know better—so we’ve
TRAVEL
Get an uPGraDe On YOur FliGht
compiled a number of
schemes to make you
feel like an A-lister and
in business class not just
in transit, but in all
aspects of your life. Want
to know more? Step this
way, sir…
01 Get the beSt Seat FOr YOur bucK
Okay, you’re stuck in cattle class, but that doesn’t mean
you have to put up with a terrible seat. Website SeatGuru
(seatguru.com) has hundreds of seat maps that highlight
the best and worst seats available on every aircraft, check
in early, secure the best position—and print your boarding
pass so you’ve got that space locked in.
03 Get in the club
Join a frequent flyer club
and start earning points or
miles. When airlines are
oversold, they naturally
choose loyalty first. This
may not apply on
single-class local flights,
but for international travel
at least, Skyscanner found
that 42 percent of
upgrades came from
British Airways. Too huge a
leap? Some airlines email
you the day of your
departure offering an
upgrade, so make sure you
check.
DATING
Plan aheaD,
05
“It’s okay to splurge and
06
“Focusing on world cuisines
be cOOl anD SuaVe bring us to a fancy is a good idea, too—instead
restaurant—but only if you of price. Like, kung
know what’s good to eat Japanese, where’s the best
there, hindi yung pupunta kushi katsu place? Or the
lang tayo dahil mahal dun. best place to get Indian
That’s stupid.” food? And so on.”
Mary Ann, blogger Desi, research assistant

uPDate YOur DatinG

Game
Take note of these pearls
of wisdom from FHM’s
female readers

01 “Check out the resto

before our actual date,
surprise me with flowers, and
wag na wag mo ko
papauwiin mag-isa!”
Bela, stylist

02 “Don’t glance at your

phone too often. I hate
that.”
Lyka, TV programming
coordinator

03 “Dinner and drinks is

better than coffee and
sweets.”
Lia, legal assistant

04 “I wish guys would stop

second-guessing themselves.
A date is supposed to be
fun, and if a guy is too
conscious of every little
thing he does, how is he
going to enjoy himself? It’s
also very nice when they
tell us we look nice.”
Jen, editor

ENTERTAINmENT
DO YOur DrinKinG riGht
HAVE HAPPY HOUR AT
THESE GASTROPUBS
Drinking and eating upscale
pulutan comes at a price, but
not when you swing by these
places, at these hours
01 TiPSY PiG GASTROPUB
Happy hour: 4 p.m. – 8 p.m.
Sunday – Thursday
76 FH M NOVEMBER 2015
Beer at: 2 for 1 for local beers
02 THE PERfEcT PinT
Happy hour: 4 p.m. – 8 p.m.
daily
Beer at: 10 percent off on all
craft beers
03 BiG BAd WOlf
Happy hour: 3 p.m. – 7 p.m. daily
facebook.com/FHM.ph •
Beer at: P35/bottle, P25/wing,
buy 1 take 1 on all classic
cocktails
04 dRAfT GASTROPUB
Happy hour: 11 a.m. – 7 p.m.; 3
p.m. – 7 p.m.
Beer at: Buy 2 or a pint on tap,
get 1 glass (Stella Artois); 2 for 1
cocktails
twitter.com/fhmphil •
thrOW the ultimate
eVeninG SOiree aKa
hOuSe PartY
Here’s how you get the
in-crowd inside your
pad…
01 extenD PrintS
nOt e-ViteS
A backwards approach?
Not necessarily. People get
added to Facebook group
invites all the time they
barely read them. A
physical invite feels more
personal and encourages
more people to come.
02 Get bubblY
Because we’re already on
the subject of upgrades:
mojitos and sparkling wine
for kicks—over beer or
gin—is a better choice, and
should impress most ladies.
03 maKe a PrO bar
Stock up on lemons, lime,
and other garnish in small
bowls and glasses. Crush
the ice and you’ve got a
mojito bar.
04 Get the DetailS
DOWn
Use candles to light up
boring tables. Actual
glassware makes any drink
look more…drinkable.
Plastic and paper cups
aren’t an upgrade.
fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph
TEch
Get aPP-Y

BESPOKE YOUR
SMARTPHONE
Tap into the latest apps
on Google Play or iTunes

01 MOMONDO
A flights app with a tracker
that shows you the
cheapest time to fly.

02 FLIO
Automatically logs you into
most airport and train WiFi
networks.

03 CITYMAPPER
A must for anyone new to
a city, this award-winning
app shows you the secret
ways to get around, with
walking, driving, and transit
directions all in there.

04 POCKET
Save articles for offline
reading with this app, and
read at your leisure.

05 GOOGLE MAPS +
STREET VIEW
The new Maps’ traffic
integration means you get
real-time traffic updates,
with minute-by-minute info
on how much longer your
journey will take, and clever
diversions to get you there
on time. How is this better
than Waze? Street view
now lets you see satellite
photos of that same kalye.

PluS theSe aDD OnS
Pimp your phone with
these genius extras
01 mOPhie Juice PacK
Make your phone last beyond
4 p.m. with a robust power
pack that will funnel calls
back to HQ, SMS messages,
Internet use and the
streaming of foreign-made
“art” films. You know what
we’re talking about.
02 OllOcliP
So insecure you have to
constantly document your life
on Instagram? Make your
photos look amazing with this
snap-on lens that delivers
both wide and telephoto
options.
03 SanDiSK ixPanD
The 128 GB version has
twice the storage of an
iPhone in a neat and
pocketable device, and costs
a fraction of the cost of
upgrading your phone.

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial NOVEMBER 2015 FH M 77


sTyLE
hacK FOrmal Wear
FOrmal Wear
DOS anD DOn’tS
Look your best and get the
most out of your old faithful
01 If you’re wearing a
check-suit, you need a calm
shirt. A loud shirt needs a
plain jacket and a plain tie.
78 FH M NOVEMBER 2015
The plainer the fabric, the
wilder your shirt can be and
vice versa.
02 Don’t cram everything
into one pocket. Spread your
wallet, phone, and keys
around your jacket and pants.
It helps the suit hang—if it
facebook.com/FHM.ph •
pulls on one side of your
body, the sleeves and pants
will look wrong.
03 Always do a button up when
you’re being photographed—if it’s
a two-button suit, just do the top
one. Got a three-button suit? Do
the middle one.
twitter.com/fhmphil •
maKe an OlD Suit
lOOK beSPOKe
Cues from A Suit That
Fits (asuitthatfits.com)
01 A handmade
buttonhole is an instantly
recognizable feature that
a jacket is bespoke. This
can easily be done by a
tailor, but the buttonhole
should be open and usable,
not still stitched up.
02 Alterations will depend
on whether the suit’s too
big or too small, but always
try to get the jacket to fit
on the shoulders and taper
in at the waist for that
perfect V-shape.
03 Changing the very
last buttonhole on the
cuff to a contrast colour
is another way of making
a subtle change that can
give the appearance of
going bespoke.
fhmphilofficial
Suit-buYinG anD
beSPOKe tiPS
Whether it’s department
store-bought or patahi,
keep these maxims in
mind…
01 necK
A slouchy neck is a
giveaway of a badly-fitted
suit, but any good tailor can
easily alter that.
02 ShOulDerS
Most people are “down
right” i.e. slightly lower on
one side, as you mostly
pick up things with the
same hand. You can alter
the padding to suit this.
03 cOlOr
If you only buy one suit, it
should be blue—but you
can add a little to it with a
slight design on the cloth.
04 armS
An off-the-peg suit will
have huge armholes as the
maker is catering for the
largest arms. A bespoke
suit will be made to fit
yours only. It’s fiddly, but
armholes can be altered.
05 cuFFS
You want to show around
3/8 of cuff—that should be
about 1 cm of cuff to
beneath your jacket with a
relaxed arm. When you
raise your arm, that should
be about 5/8 of the cuff.
06 lenGth
The jacket should ideally
reach the cup of the hand
or the tip of the thumb
when you stand.
07 leGS
The back of the jacket
should just hit the welt
(where the heel is). Any
lower and it’s called
“puddling.” Avoid this.
www.fhm.com.ph
 R OLL
LL I
A

N
G
T H E B
E P
KE
 A dEcAdE OR sO BAcK,
BILLIARds usEd TO BE
A HOT PINOy sPORT ANd A
yOuTH OBsEssION.
EfREN “BATA” REyEs wAs KING.
NOw HE’s OLd ANd HIs
EyEsIGHT Is fAILING. THE POOL
HALLs AREN’T As cOOL TO HANG
OuT IN. wE’RE sTILL LOOKING
fOR THE NEw cuE KING.
wHAT HAPPENEd?
WORDS
PAULO AGUILERA

PHOTOGRAPHY
PAUL MONDOK
 T
hree B’s have always lorded it over
the local sports scene. Save the cult
favorites sabong and horseracing for
the old manongs—It’s the Big Three
of basketball, boxing, and billiards.
These three taken together amount to every
street nook and cranny of this country turning
into a sporting venue.
Basketball is basketball. It is our national
pride. What we lack in height, we make up for with
puso, and now we’re knocking on the doors of
hoops glory once again if our current lineup in the
National Team makes it to the 2016 Olympics.
Boxing is boxing because, well, we have
Manny Pacquiao. His days as the best fighter
of this generation will soon be over—and the
ending is not as sweet as we would like it to
be—but he will leave the arena assured of his
place in the pantheon of boxing champions.
Pinoy boxing will not die with him because
somewhere right now, another kid is wearing his
training gloves, dreaming to fight his way out of
poverty, just like Manny.
Billiards is…whatever the hell happened to
billiards?
Efren “Bata” Reyes used to be a sports/pop
star. His international victories a decade or so
back spawned countless pool halls across the
country, sparking a new trend in weekend youth
nights out. Now billiards has sort of lost its pop
appeal, trudging back to its hustling roots. Efren
Reyes’s days as king may now be over as he
ages and his eyesight slowly fades. Now we’re
left looking for a new star.
The Filipino talent pool (pun intended) isn’t
the problem. In fact, through the years, it has
been nothing short of brimming. These days, kids
as young as seven are taught how to wield cue
sticks even as they learn the school basics. But at
the end of the day, a lot of questions remain.
How would these talented young guns break
into the pro scene without the much-needed
mileage? Will we ever see the heir to Efren?
FHM delves into the current state of the
billiards scene, from the varied perspectives of a
sports pundit and an actual pool superstar, while
examining how hard it is for the obscure but
better local billiard players—let’s call them “lost
souls”—to attain the level of success of their
predecessors.
No spoNsors
“It’s not as vibrant as before, kasi we don’t
have the big tournaments that we used to
have,” admits sports journalist TJ Manotoc,
Michael Baonan, 24,
surveys the table
intently before he
takes his shot.
82 FH M NOVEMBER 2015
No opponent is lesser or greater to
the man known as “Mokong” when
it comes to the sport. Michael takes
every match seriously.
who once covered the billiards beat. “There
was a time almost every year nasa atin ’yung
World Pool Championships. Then I hear there
were some tournaments na kahit papa’no well-
sponsored naman, but even a year later, hindi
pa nababayaran ’yung mga winners! These
are international names who were just patient
enough to try and wait it out. It’s embarrassing.
It’s a chicken and egg scenario now—if there’s no
tournament, there’s no sponsor, and vice versa.”
2007 WPA World Nine-ball Championship
runner-up Roberto “Superman” Gomez, whom
we also had a chance to chat with before he left
the country for this year’s WPA World Nine-ball
Championship in Doha, Qatar seconds TJ’s claim.
“Sumusugal sila (sponsors) ’pag may
makikita silang maganda. Siguro nakikita nila
na hindi ganun ka-boom kung i-isponsor-an nila
’yung sa bilyar kaysa sa ibang sports tulad ng
basketball o boxing,” Gomez says.
For what we call lost souls, on the other
hand, “sponsors” refer to individuals who
essentially place bets on these players and
bankroll their competitions and tours.
Take for example Michael Baoanan, fondly
known as “Mokong” in the billiard circle, a
24-year-old little-known bilyarista from San
Pedro, Laguna, who once defeated former
Nine-ball (2006) and Eight-ball (2007) World
Champion Ronnie Alcano in his first match
against a pro. Michael was supposed to
compete in a recent tournament organized
by Pacquiao in General Santos City when his
sponsor backed out three days before he was
scheduled to fly out.
“Tulad namin na wala naman pang-pocket
money sa sarili, lilipad papuntang GenSan,
siyempre kailangan may magpaluwal ng pera.
Kung wala ka namang sponsor, pa’no mo
mapapasikat ’yung sarili mo kung (in the first
place) hindi ka makakasali? Kung mga a week
before niya ko sinabihan, nakakuha sana ako ng
ibang sponsor.”
Goes to show that sponsors are the
facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil •
lifeblood of the sport.
“Wala tayong magawa. Hangga’t hindi tayo
hahawakan ng sponsor, patay ’yung (bilyar),
Sponsor ang bubuhay sa bilyar, hindi ang
players,” Gomez asserts.
MokoNg’s story
Like most youngsters new to the sport, Michael
“Mokong” Baoanan, 24, started out at eight
years old with the Pinoy version of billiards,
colloquially known as “pul,” which involved plastic
puck-like disks—an oversized one for the cue
puck—and a ton of cornstarch to make the table
smooth for the pucks. He transitioned to regular
tables when he turned 12, devoting all his
adolescent years to billiard halls in the vicinity.
While most students cut classes to play,
“ako hindi na talaga napasok para magbilyar,
ha ha!” Michael shares. He wasn’t able to finish
high school but still managed to graduate from
TESDA with a certificate in welding.
In billiards though, Michael didn’t need
any schooling as he was purely self-taught.
He admitted that he once shunned someone
who was trying to lecture him on the game’s
rudiments. “Parang ayoko naman ng tinuturuan
ako, parang medyo ma-pride kasi ako.”
Still, he was still able to hone his skills with
incessant playing, making a name for himself…
at least in the amateurs. Able to get acquainted
and eventually hook up with managers (in
billiards, one could have many), it was only then
that Michael fully embraced billiards as his
livelihood—a life of regular matches and out-of-
town engagements.
While the thought of getting acquainted
with other pool aces from all over the country
and earning more moolah could easily strike the
fancy of someone who wishes to establish a
reputation in the scene and have billiards as his
bread and butter, out-of-town trips aren’t always
the thing. Michael recalls one particular billiards
tour in Mindanao a couple of years ago that
fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph
put him on edge. “Para kang ano eh… Maiisip
mo na ’pag nanalo ka kung pwede ka pa bang
makauwi? Ha ha! Lalo ’pag ’di mo kabisado
’yung lugar!”
The other side of the coin, though, is getting
the chance to go up against the best, like that
one time in 2013 when he finished as one
of the Top 16—among 40 participants, which
consisted of both big- and no-name billiard
players—at a Philippine Open type of tournament
held in Cebu.
Although that wasn’t the closest Michael
came face-to-face with the sports’ big boys…
It’s ALL ABoUt tHE MoNEy (gAME)
22-11.
Those were Michael and Ronnie’s scores,
respectively, when they squared off against
each other in a money game in the former’s
hometown of Laguna a few years back. Ronnie
is international cue ace Ronnie “The Volcano”
Alcano.
Michael recalls his first match against a
World Champion: “’Yung laban namin, ayos lang,
siyempre baluarte ko, kabisado ko ’yung ’mesa,
ha ha!”
Perhaps having gotten used to being pitted
against all sorts of pool players, playing against
“The Volcano” didn’t come off as any different
from all his previous games.
“May mararamdaman kang ganun
[starstruck], lalo’t first time mong makalaban,
(tapos) professional ’di ba? Parang maninibago
ka. Pero sa una lang. ’Pag pangalawang laban
mo na, normal na lang,” Michael recalls. “Pero
may makikita ka talaga sa kanya na galing na
hindi mo pa nalalaman.”
Their money game ran like a normal 10-ball
game, with the player to take 22 rounds winning.
Matchups are usually based on skill level, with
seasoned pros usually given a handicap against
unproven players. What made Michael’s victory
over Ronnie more remarkable was that no
handicaps were given during the game, except
maybe home-court advantage.
As the name suggests, money games
involve considerable amounts of cash, with a
player’s draw depending on his arrangement
with his manager—most of the time a 70/30
manager/player split. Michael took home
P6,000–side bets not included–from the game’s
P22,000 pot.
You may wonder: Why do billiard hotshots
the caliber of Ronnie and even Efren–as seen
in the YouTube channel 69billiard–still go
out of their way to swing by far-flung corners
for something that has essentially no bearing
for them, if they could just prepare for bigger
competitions that entail bigger bucks?
Other than of course the easy money,
Michael believes, “Hilig nila eh. Tulad ko, hilig ko
’yung bilyar, kahit saan p’wedeng pumunta (’pag
may laban).”
Manotoc found out a rather interesting
rationale for this very much welcomed practice
in his past interviews with other cue players.
“They were saying, ‘How can you train a
player and put pressure on him without a money
game?’ Parang, sige train ka nang train nang
train for a big tournament, for example a World
www.fhm.com.ph
Championship, but how can you simulate the
pressure that’s going to really put you to the
test and see how good your nerves can be?”
Manotoc says.
Manotoc feels that the money games
represent the irony of billiards as a legitimate
sport. Entrenched in the world of vices, most
pool players can’t even be considered athletes,
he opines.
“When the bright lights are on, it’s the
prestige of these big-name tournaments, and
yet, the big elephant in the room, everyone
knows that after the official games are over, it’s
back to money games.”
He even goes as far as referring to legit
tournaments as only the “sideline” in this
competitive circle, with money games ending up
as the real center of attraction.
Some pool vets, though, see the money
game as an up-and-comer’s gateway to
prominence.
A money game player himself, Gomez lays
out this simple logic on why the popular match
type is ideal for rising stars: “Habang nananalo
ako, mas madali akong makakahanap ng laban
dahil ’yung sponsor nananalo sa’kin, pupustahan
at pupustahan ako. Hanggang natatalo ako,
nawawalan ako ng sponsor. So ang gagawin ko,
magpa-practice ako nang magpa-practice.”
Gomez knows that every bilyarista aspires
to become a World Champion one day. Yet he
feels that lost souls nowadays like Mokong
would rather focus on earning and bettering
their lives first, instead of straightaway chasing
that World Champion dream, given the current
local billiard landscape.
“Gaya nilang walang experience sa mga
nangyari sa amin, kuntento na sila sa mga
money games, kuntento silang kumita sa mga
maliliit na tournaments, na P40,000 ang premyo
ng champion—masaya na sila. (Parang) ’yun na
ang peak nila,” Gomez says, describing players
nowadays as more “practical,” with fame at the
facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil •
least of their worries.
With billiards success and recognition in the
country either laggard—meaning it would take
a long while before it comes—or elusive, the
next step to financial prosperity, according to
Gomez, would most likely be to hustle outside
the country, which almost all of our ’90s pool
legends have already resorted to. Echoing
OFWs, Gomez insists, “hindi na kami rito
(Philippines) umaasa.”
How to gEt BAck IN BUsINEss
Manotoc believes a renaissance is possible.
And the only way is to start these future billiard
heroes young, under a solid National Sports
Association grassroots program.
“These young guys strive and work hard,
starting as the setter, the ball boy, alam mo
’yun, and then they work their way up. I wish
that these kids realize that it’s a legit sport, they
can play in the SEA Games, they can go to
other countries to compete and represent the
Philippines. So why not develop them? I think we
need new billiards heroes to rise again, from the
days of sila Efren, Django, and Alcano. I think we
need new guys out there.”
Michael still plays in his hometown, on the
same pool tables he grew up with, from time
to time. “Lalo ’pag may magandang laban,
naiimbitahan pa rin kami sa exhibition game,
ganun.”
With hopes of making it and being identified
with the sport’s big leaguers, Mokong knows the
fastest way to penetrate that illustrious posse is
to consistently come out on top of tournaments,
which he has yet to achieve.
As cliché as it may sound, that means back
to the daily grind for him.
“Laban lang nang laban.”
We ask Michael where he thinks his career
stands right now.
“Parating pa lang.” FHM
Despite having competed in bigger
venues out-of-town, Mokong still
comes back at the nearby billiard
halls in his hometown, like this one at
Brgy. Calendola Laguna
fhmphilofficial NOVEMBER 2015 FH M 83
 W O R D S : A S H M A H I N AY
ACHIEVE OLYMP
The athletic greats train for their medal quest, like all others. Why can’t you do what they do? Here we plan out an
a t y uo p 2 kg SPEEd
2016 O LY M P I C 10 0 M Q uA L I f Y I N G T I M E : 10.16 seconds
AV E RAG E P E R S O N’S S P R I NT T I M E: around 15 seconds
P H I L I P P I N E 10 0 M R E C O R d : Eric Shaun Cray’s 10.25
Now, you probably don’t have your 100m sprint time lying around, so
how about something you may have tried? Like a 10km run, which is a
popular weekend warrior activity. According to Jeff Lo, owner of Pinoy
Fitness, sixty percent of the field makes it under the hour mark in their
SUB1 10k Challenge, but the average speed ends up at one hour. The
single fastest runner did it in 35. Olympic qualifying time? 28. Luh!
How do you get to Flash-level speed?
THE BASIC BRO’S WORKOUT
“All training programs follow a periodization. There are two types: linear
and undulating,” explains Jose Gemora, certified strength and
conditioning specialist by the National Strength and Conditioning
Association, and associate head coach of 360 Fitness Club. “Those
who are new to workouts will likely respond to a linear type of
periodization where you peak after 12-14 weeks...an average joe will
most likely respond to a linear type of training because they can
recover easily and it’s not that taxing on the body.”
H E R E ’ S A SA M P L E O f A L I N E A R w O R KO u T
Endurance Strength training (week 1-4)
1 week rest
Strength Hypertrophy training (week 5-9)
1 week rest
Power training (week 11-14)
In comparison, athletes compress it into a compressed time and
peak faster:
Week 1-2 (a day’s rest in between training days)
Day 1-Endurance, Day 2- Power, Day 3-Strength
Week 3-4
Day 1- Endurance, 2- Strength, 3- Rest, 4- Endurance Hypertrophy
5-Strength, 6- Rest
ROAD TO RIO?
S O H Ow G O O d A R E f I L I P I N O S AT B E I N G fAS T ?
According to Gemora, “There is always one dominant muscle fiber
type for each person. People with Type IIx fibers will have the ability to
run faster. Training can help you, even though you’re Type I dominant,
but Type II’s will respond more, even if they undergo the same training
protocol.” How does that affect our Pinoy sprinters? “Filipinos are fast,
but, we look slower than foreign athletes because of height limitations.
When you sprint there are two keys to running faster: stride rate and
stride length. We have no problem with stride rate but because they
are taller than us, their stride length is longer. Sometimes a stride rate
ratio of 2:1 where we need two steps to reach the length of their first
step is observed when competing at a higher level,” says Gemora.
84 FH M NOVEMBER 2015 facebook.com/FHM.ph •
M E N TA L
LO N G E S T EV E R O LY M P I C M ATC H - 2012 M E N’ S T E N N I S
S I N G L E S f I NAL: 4 hours and 26 minutes
How can we possibly stay focused for that long? Marcus Jarwin
Manalo, sport psychology specialist of the Association of Boxing
Alliances in the Philippines (responsible for our national boxing team)
and assistant professor at the College of Human Kinetics, University
of the Philippines Diliman, says that the secret to coming out of the
gates at 100 percent is identifying your optimal activation or arousal
level. “This is highly individualized, and dependent on the sport and
individual. A good way to identify your optimal level is by going back to
your psychological state during your best performance”
PREPARING YOUR MIND FOR GAMES
According to sports psychologist Marcus Manalo “If there is a certain
routine that has been working well for you, then it is wise to stick with
it. Nonetheless, here is a general pre-game routine that our national
boxers do and that I can also suggest to other athletes...”
01 E N GAG E I N R O u T I N E
“Upon arrival at the venue, you may engage in your preferred routine.
You could listen to music, read books, watch videos, chat with
teammates, etc. The key here is it should be in line with achieving your
optimal psychological state. For example, the type of music you listen
to depends on whether you want a high level (upbeat music) or low
level of activation (relaxing music).”
02 TAK E d E E P B R E AT H S
“Taking deep, slow, and rhythmic breaths will help you achieve a
relaxed and focused state. By focusing solely on your inhalation and
exhalation, you will be able to stay in the present and clear your
thoughts of distractions.”
03 C R E AT E I M AG E RY
“After getting into a relaxed state, it is now best to do imagery of the
skills you will execute and the strategies you will use in competition.
It’s like playing movies in your head. It is important to imagine the
potential challenges that you will face and see yourself being able to
handle those challenges well.”
ROAD TO RIO?
dOES TH E PI NOY u N dE R dOG M E NTALITY G IVE AN E dG E?
We asked Manalo whether relying on #puso mentality is a good thing:
“When Filipino athletes are considered ‘underdogs,’ the potential
advantage is that they compete with less pressure. In addition, the
focus is put more on the process [execution of strategies and game
plans, playing with all-out effort] rather than the outcome/winning.
This type of focus is actually ideal since you focus on the things under
your control. The disadvantage? “It might be easier to get intimidated,
distracted and to succumb to negative thoughts.”
twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph
IC GREATNESS!
A-level physical regimen—if you work your body down to ground long enough, maybe our future in gold is with you!
3 r mx jC b5 S TA M I N A
3 -4 T I M E S A dAY, 6 dAYS A wE E K
w E E K LY L OAd : S w I M : 25km; R u N : 100km; B I K E: 400km
You’re supposed to be proud of your 10km finisher medal, but it’s hard
when you’re quietly dying at your office desk the next day. It’s not
enough to be able to run fast if you want to be the best: you need to
be able to run for a long, long time–and there are few bigger stamina
beasts than triathletes. If the above training goals of George Vilog,
high performance coach of the Triathlon Association of the Philippines,
already give you cramps; here’s what you need to do to stiffen up
THE BASIC BRO’S WORKOUT
“A good basic workout to build endurance is to perform aerobic
exercises like swimming, cycling or running, or perform circuit training
in the gym, wherein you perform exercises one after another like a
series connection of an electrical circuit. Another way to build stamina
that is currently catching a lot of attention is high intensity interval
training or HIIT. Tabata is one of the first and well-known interval
training protocols out there,” Saul Sibayan, faculty member of the
Sports Science Department of the College of Rehabilitation Sciences,
University of Santo Tomas and a Certified Tactical Strength and
Conditioning Facilitator of the National Strength and Conditioning
Association, says. Here’s how it goes:
Perform an activity for 10 seconds at all-out intensity, for
example, the burpee
begin in a standing position
drop into a squat with hands pressed on the ground
kick out into a push-up position, do not touch the ground or move your
hands
immediately return to squat position
jump up into standing position and repeat
Rest for 20 seconds
Repeat steps 1 and 2 for a total of four minutes
Try not to throw up
“The well-known benefits of HIIT is improved endurance, decreased
body fat and at the same time increasing muscle mass compared with
steady-state cardio.
ROAD TO RIO?
CAN wE OuTLAST TH E LEG E N dAR I LY HAR dY AfR ICANS?
“Certainly, genetics play a huge role. Other factors include the
environment where they live and train–low vs. high altitude–as well as
the local culture and food that they take in. I personally believe that
Filipinos can compete if they are given the appropriate funding to join
qualifying events, as well as holistic support from family and coaches,
equipment, nutrition, biomechanics, strength and conditioning, and
physical therapy. We have produced world class athletes–from Elma
Muros-Posadas (track and field) to Victor Espiritu (cycling).
www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph •
STR E NGTH
BAS I C P OwE R d I ET : 50-60% carbohydrates; 20-25% fat;
15% protein
Strength is the most glamorous aspect of athletics because you can
brag about being able to deadlift a million pounds and compare pricy
supplements with extreme names. We consulted with Jim Saret,
training director of the Philippine Olympic Committee/Philippine
Sports Commission High Performance Training Center–and who you
may have seen on The Biggest Loser Philippines–for what you really
need to eat for the #gains, and how to make that food work for you.
THE BASIC BRO’S WORKOUT
“To develop raw strength, you need to go back to the basics and
create a solid foundation. Most people focus on equipment—wrong.
Everyone needs to start with their own body first. You might be
surprised at how difficult it can be to do bodyweight exercises. Once
you have built up enough strength, then you can start adding the use
of equipment to supplement or add more challenge to your body,”
Saret says. Here’s his “simple” bodyweight workout that he makes our
national athletes sweat through:
4-minute MetaFIT workout (Metabolic Fitness)
01 10 Jumping Jacks
02 10 Squats
03 10 Push ups
04 10 lunges per leg
Repeat the sequence from the start and perform for 4 minutes.
Stop at 4 minutes sharp. Rest for up to 10 seconds max anytime you
need to during the workout but never for more than 10 seconds.
ROAD TO RIO?
IS TH E R E A TRAI N I NG GAP? OR dO wE N E E d TO fI N d
G I fTE d ATH LETES?
Here’s Saret’s take: “At the Olympic level, sports super power
countries have already experimented in creating the strongest athletes
with all the science, nutrition, and other performance enhancement
training possible. However, every now and then a regular athlete that
wasn’t trained as hard and not given as much support will suddenly
pop up and beat the most scientifically enhanced athlete. A genetically
gifted athlete with minimal training and support can beat a not-so
genetically gifted athlete with all the support in the world–it will be
hard as the other one is well trained, but it can happen…with regards
to Filipinos, we are also genetically gifted, however, our genetics could
be focused more on skill rather than strength. If you notice we excel in
‘skill’- related sports such as billiards, bowling and boxing…boxing isn’t
just about strength but also speed, stamina, and skill. Filipinos might
not be gifted with strength unlike other nationalities, but we do have
talent in skills, which is equally important.
twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial NOVEMBER 2015 FH M 85
 WAYS To bAnISH
‘bER MonTH GLooM!
‘Tis supposed to be time for outdoor merry, but you’d rather hole up in your cave, cold and miserable. And what about that
terrible, crushing boredom that comes with being trapped within four walls, you ask? Well, we’ve taken care of that…

PHOTOGRAPHY: DAIRY DARILAG WORDS: TOM WARD, FHM PHILIPPINES

PRODUCTION DESIGN: GENIE RANADA-BABISTA GROOMING/MAKEUP: ANNE CASTAÑO ILLUSTRATIONS: AEUS KEVIN REYES

01 MASTER
boARd
And

When tumbang preso outdoors isn’t an

option, consider these old school
indoor interactive fun

GET FLIRTY ON TWISTER

Functions as a group game, but two on the
floor could be better. Expect the two of you
to look like this. Having WiFi is still the best,
but there will be touching.

BRUSH UP ON REAL ESTATE

MATH WITH MONOPOLY
Also called living vicariously through tiny
box houses, fake money, and a single-
spectacled, moustached banker man.

LEAVE YOUR FATE ON THE

DICE WITH SNAKES AND
LADDER
One minute you’re climbing up ladders and
winning, next minute you’ve snaked
yourself several blocks far down. It’s just a
roll of the dice.
 02

Once upon a time, a single slot cartridge,

two chocolate-bar controllers, and
catching falling bombs on your screen,
were all it took to keep you happy. Now
you need a bank balance the size of a
small country to catch up with the latest
Call of Duty. Relive simpler times by
dedicating your evening to some of the
best moments in video gaming history, or
just geek-talk about them.

Fight the T-Rex in Tomb Raider

Not necessary to progress through the game,
but still very simple.

Choose your first Pokémon on

Pokémon Red and Blue
All the emotions.

Storm Omaha Beach on Medal

of Honor: Allied Assault
Makes Saving Private Ryan look like a picnic.

Radiolab
Features weekly 15-minute
to hour-long episodes that
approach science and
philosophy with a
contemporary edge,
WORDS: CHIARA CUI
Star Talk with Neil
Degrasse Tyson
It’s a space, pop culture, and
science program all rolled
into one tightly produced
podcast hosted by
Hardcore History
Forget the snoozefest that
was your high school history
class. Dan Carlin’s Hardcore
History takes a theatrical
approach to the past you’ll
The Joe Rogan
Experience
Listen to the UFC
commentator/former Fear
Factor host shoot the shit
with a slew of interesting

Treat your ears (and brain)

to these free channels…
Integrating interview sound
bites, music, and narration.
It will make you feel smarter
for just having listened.
Must listen eps: Falling,
Words, Sleep, Emergence
everyone’s favorite
astrophysicist Neil
deGrasse Tyson.
Must listen ep: Part one
and two of Evolution with
Richard Dawkins
want to pay attention to.
Disclaimer: the “hardcore”
part: some episodes run
more than three-hours long
Must listen ep: The Wrath
of Khans
personalities from stand-up
comics and MMA fighters
to scientists. Rogan’s
insights are worth a listen.
Must listen ep: Any ep with
Vice honcho, Shane Smith

Think!
“Panic is going to get
a lot more people
killed than zombies.
When the dead rise,
stay calm and use that
Max Brooks himself, impossible miracle
author of The Zombie called the human
Survival Guide, is here to brain.”
help you through
88 FH M NOVEMBER 2015 facebook.com/FHM.ph •
05
AcHIEvE
InnER
pEAcE
THRouGH
While we could all do with a bit of
zen-like calm in our lives, getting up at
6 a.m. to put your head between your
legs after a booze night sounds far
from the most comfortable awakening.
To help you out, we’ve put together
three easy yoga poses even your lola
can do—maybe.
The tree
Great for improving coordination and
balance, the tree pose also strengthens
the thighs, groins, torso, and shoulders.
Stand on your left foot then hold your right
ankle, bringing it up into your inner left
thigh. Raise your hands above your head
and do your best not to fall over. Once
you’ve found your balance, repeat on the
other side.
The downward-facing dog
A good all-around stretch—which can
apparently relieve headaches and
fatigue—the downward-facing dog is yoga
101. It’s best to get into this pose from a
starting position on your hands and knees,
walking your hands forward as you slowly
lift your bum to create an ‘A’ shape. Push
against the floor with your hands and feet
while exhaling 100 times, then slowly
lower yourself back down.
The mountain
An easy one to finish—stand up straight
and exhale as you stretch your hands over
your head with your palms facing inwards.
Simple.
Note: FHM is not liable for any strained
muscles and/or embarrassment you may
experience during this exercise.
Plan long-term! Keep the dog! Get fit!
“A lot of people think “Your girlfriend’s noisy “It’s never too soon to
guns are the key to mutt might be giving start getting fit. Even
surviving the you away, but if you kill if zombies don’t take
apocalypse, but by it to save yourself, over the world, who
week three, all those you’re obviously a cat wants to be killed by
Mad Max wannabes person and will not be high cholesterol?”
will be on their knees on my team.”
giving hand jobs for
raw potatoes.”
twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph
If you live with your other half, these gabing
malamig can turn the bedroom from a sex
palace into that place you marathon TV
series in while eating your bodyweight in junk
food. To reclaim your boudoir, banish all
tablets, phones, and laptops from the room,
leave the angry work-related rants at the
office, and stock up on candles and massage
oil. You’ll both be raring to go before you
know it. If all else fails, drink alcohol.

09 EAT LIKE A
It might be more miserable than Rick
Grimes outside, but a whole slew of
top-quality TV shows are returning to our
screens to make up for it. Just time to get

cHAMpIon
up to speed with these classics

The Walking Dead

The sixth season starts this month, so if you
still think this is a show about dudes on
extreme diets mumbling “braaaaains,” you
need to take a long hard look at yourself in
the mirror.
Takeaways are well and good, but grocery-hoarded whole foods that need little to no
The Knick prep time in the kitchen are even better. Take these items for size…
Clive Owen gives his best ever performance
as a cocaine-addicted New York surgeon in Tablea Cheese Ice cream Chocolates
this turn-of-the-century drama. Eve Yes, coffee is good, Upgrades and livens No one cares if it’s Endorphins-laced so
Hewson—aka Bono’s daughter—is another but is easily a more up any bread cold out. It’s ice it should make you
reason to catch up on season two. warming ‘ber (cheese toasts!) and cream. Add melted and your lady feel
beverage. Divide cracker (fancy hors cacao over it and no good. Extra sweet
Homeland cacao tablets into d’ouvres). Who cares ‘ber month will ever for her, extra dark for
Forget about the season 3 misfire. After the chunks, plop in if it’s basically be considered cold. you.
return to form of season 4, season 5 moves boiling water, mix coagulated cow
the action to Berlin. Make sure you know until smooth, and discharge? Yum.
your “dead drops” from your “doublespeak.” chug.

The cozy night in: The long weekend: The week off work:

ExTRA-LonG
Tree of Smoke, Denis Underworld, Don DeLillo The My Struggle series by Karl
Johnson (National (National Bookstore) Ove Knausgaard (National
Bookstore) Length: 832 pages Bookstore)

booKS
These paper “devices” have
been entertaining readers for
centuries. With the rain
hammering down outside, now’s
your chance to get in on the act
Length: 624 pages
Johnson specializes in tough,
masculine writing, covering
everything from drifters to spies,
secrets and safe houses. His
trippy 2007 novel exploring CIA
involvement in the Vietnam war
might just be the pinnacle.
Heavyweights of American
fiction don’t get much heavier
than Don DeLillo’s greatest
novel. It explores US history via
the journey of a famous baseball
game and greater men than us
have tried—and failed—to reach
the final full stop.
Length: 3,600 pages
It takes major cojones to assume
your life story is worth stretching
over six volumes. Writing with
brutal honesty about family and
relationships, that’s exactly what
Norwegian author Knausgard
does.

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial NOVEMBER 2015 FH M 89

 The FHM man test
This month’s challenger...

TI RS O RI PO LL
Will the Razorback bassist swift through our machismo test like a true FHM rockstar?

INTeRVIeW: PONg CASTILLO

Have you ever sniffed
used underwear?
Which romantic comedy
makes you feel giddy
What’s the name of the
coolest pet you’ve ever
13/15
Yes, but not in a inside? had? He was Freckles and
creepy stalker kind of Californication. Sam. He was my Curls as a youngin, but
way. More like a hot, handsome black grew up to be every bit
sensual stalker kind of Man 4 Not man Labrador; a loyal and the ultimate man’s man
way. Some women are dear friend. I was and rock ‘n’ roller.
more underwear sniff- crushed when he
worthy than others. passed.
Have you ever worn your THE MAN TEST
Man 4 Not man briefs on top of your Man 4 Not man LEADERBOARD

ILLUSTRATION: LOUIS AReNAS

pants and pretended to
be a superhero? Se f Ca d a y o na 1 5 /1 5
Pretended? Bitch please, Wally Bayola 1 4 /1 5
If you could blow up one I am a superhero! What fictional villain Dan Villegas 1 4 /1 5
thing, what would it be? scares you the most? Tirso Ripoll 1 3 /1 5
The outside world. Does Kuya Germs Boy2 Quizon 1 3 /1 5
Man 4 Not man count? I mean seriously, Jose Manalo 1 3 /1 5
Ranidel
Man 4 Not man doesn’t he scare the shit
de Ocampo 1 3 /1 5
out of you?
Ch i t o M i r a n da 1 3 /1 5
Have you ever farted A l d e n R i c h a rds 1 2 /1 5
Man Not man 4 RA Rivera 1 2 /1 5
Would you ever carry openly in public?
your girlfriend’s purse Yes, unnoticed. I’m a Gloc-9 1 2 /1 5
at the mall if she asked ninja like that! Loonie 1 2 /1 5
Have you ever had blood M e d w i n M a r fil 1 2 /1 5
you to?
B r a n d o n V e ra 1 1 /1 5
Fuck no…but all things Man 4 Not man in your hands that was
are negotiable! not yours?
Yes. Sometimes
Man 4 Not man terrifying, other times
Can you name one high- just awkward… but
ranking FHM woman certainly more times
you’ve had an than I care to remember.
If the world were to end unforgettable experience
tomorrow, what would with? Man 4 Not man
your last meal be? Jinri Park. She guested
Steak! on Tropical Banter, my
podcast with Wolfgang’s
Man 4 Not man Basti Artadi. What’s the worst thing
you were teased about
Man 4 Not man as a kid?
I was called Freckles
What’s the title of the and Curls.
weirdest porno you’ve
watched? Have you ever taken Man Not man 4
Caligula. It’s a classic! secret selfies?
Honorable mentions: [grins and cracks a
Little Orphan Dusty… laugh]
and the Batman and
Robin Porn Parody Man 4 Not man
produced by Ron
Jeremy. Hilarious!

Man 4 Not man What’s the longest

you’ve gone without
wearing deodorant?
A week and change…at
the beach.

Man 4 Not man

90 FH M NOVeMBeR 2015 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial NOVeMBeR 2015 FH M 91
 FHM
JAV

HE
AT
TOKYO
SPECIES Jerico Montemayor

Chise Alcantara

Styling: J-em Sta. Maria

Make up: Rhina Montemayor
Hair: Georm Imperial
FHM
JAV
HE
AT
You may have quite the encyclopedic knowledge–
and collection–of your favorite Japanese Adult
Video (JAV) idols’ videography, but do you really
know them past their body of work? It’s tough
to get the inside track on them when everything
is Japanese, and the best Google can do is feed
you a bare translation that seems to change
every time you feed it back into the machine.
So when the opportunity arose to shoot not one
but three of these ladies, we made sure to get to
know them before succumbing to their doe-eyed
stares…
 Shelby Wakatsuki is another
delightful intersection of Portugal and Japan

Has anyone told you that you don’t look Are you happy with your life right now?
Japanese? because, well, from what we’ve watched
I get that all the time. In Japan, some people you seem to cry a lot in your videos.
have even spoken to me in English first. I I feel like I have a fetish for being treated
have to tell them that I’m Japanese, too! “roughly” by my partners. But I can tell you
We bet you’re really popular with the guys, right now—I enjoy every minute of it, ha ha!
being so foreign-looking and all. We’re really glad to hear that! Do you think
Well, growing up, I wasn’t really as “pretty” men enjoy watching women get roughed up
as most people say I am now. Many people in bed?
thought I was weird-looking, but my parents I think there’s a little part of us that want to
always said that they were just jealous, and or be treated that way. It gives us a chance to
that I was beautiful. explore each other in ways we don’t usually
Your parents seem really nice. How did get to do in other activities.
they handle the news of you getting into What do you think separates you from
the AV industry? other AV idols?
They were hesitant at first, but they I think it’s my open-mindedness to try out
eventually gave in once I told them that I different things with a smile on my face.
really wanted a venue to express myself.
Do you have trouble expressing yourself?
I’ve always wanted to explore myself, finding
new things that could make my life more
exciting and happier.

S O M E R E S E A R C H M AT E R I A L L e s s o n o n e - o n - o n e ! B e a u t y E n g l i s h Te a c h e r • Pr e t t y
M a i d S h e l b y i s Yo u r S l a v e • G l o b a l B e a u t i f u l G i r l – Pr o v o c a t i v e G l a m o r o u s – B e a u t i f u l A s s
Styling: Badj Genato
Make up: Rhina Montemayor
Hair: Prin Cess Johnson Pionan
FHM
JAV

HE
AT
THEY’RE
THE
HUNTERS
Jerico Montemayor Chise Alcantara
FHM
JAV

HE
AT
Rin Azuma’s veteran
moves will leave you
wanting
You’ve been in the industry for quite some
time now. What’s the most important thing
you’ve learned in the business?
I learned that being an idol, as the name implies,
is all about portraying yourself as someone to
be idolized. You have to be someone to be adored
because once people see that you’re not worth
watching, you’ll be forgotten in no time.
What does it take to consistently bring that
personality?
It requires a lot of thick skin. A lot of people in
the business will treat you bad if you let them,
so you have to know when to put your foot
down.
S O M E R E S E A R C H M AT E R I A L A Pe t Fe m a l e Te a ch e r J u s t Fo r M e • Th e Tr u t h I s I Ke e p G e t t i n g R a p e d
By My Husband’s Boss… • Sweltering Night
You seem to have a lot of confidence as an AV
idol now, but did you have it before?
No, sometimes you just have to experience
certain things in order to learn from them. I
don’t regret my decisions in the past because I
learned from them.
Do you think you’ve become a better “idol”
because of these experiences?
Most definitely. I think I am more of an
entertainer now. I think I can make my fans a
lot happier.
In what way, if we may poke further?
Well, I think I’m a lot better in bed than when I
was a teenager, ha ha!
Do you ever feel dirty when you do those
things on camera?
I think feeling dirty is part of the sensuality of
sex. It makes you feel naughty, and that way
you learn more about what excites you. FH M
FHM
JAV

HE
AT

Styling: Badj Genato

Make up: Rhina Montemayor
Hair: Prin Cess Johnson Pionan
 FHM
JAV

HE
AT
AND
WE’RE THE
PREY Jerico Montemayor

Chise Alcantara
FHM
JAV

HE
AT

Newcomer Ayu is
very eager to please

How did you get into the adult video scene?
I was taking a course in beauty school at the
time and was invited by my friends to try out
for an interview, and after that I got interested
in the culture. Weeks later, I was invited by
a company to have a shoot with them. It was
fun!
What do you think makes you different from
other idols?
I have big eyes, and G-cup breasts, which are
very uncommon in Japanese women. My hips
are also very curvy.
How was your first shoot?
I was really nervous but I knew what to expect
so I was very excited.
Why were you excited?
Because a lot of people were going to be
watching me, ha ha!
Do you have a voyeur fetish?
Yes, I like it a lot when other people watch.
How did your friends and family handle it?
Their general response was: ‘If it is the
profession you have chosen, then go for it!’
Have you ever had a partner in your AV
videos that you didn’t like sexually?
No, thankfully, they have all been very nice
and gentle so far.
What’s your favorite part about having sex
on camera?
It makes me feel more confident. I like to serve
my man, and make him happy. I like being the
aggressor while still being soft and gentle.
We call that being malambing in the
Philippines. Have you ever been with a
Filipino guy?
I haven’t done it with a Filipino before; it
actually makes me very curious!
Are you looking for any volunteers? Ha ha!
Ha ha! If the right prince arrives, of course I
will consider. FH M

S OM E R E S EAR CH MATE R IAL 4 Real Fucks - Very Submissive Beauty’s First Experiences • Ayu’s
Fountain - Copious Squirting Ecstasy • E-Body Exclusive Debut - Super Submissive G- Cup Young Beauty
W H AT TO BU Y AND HOW TO WEAR IT

GUIDE

The
cozy boy
movement WORDS
ASH MAHINAY

P H OTO G R A P HY
KENCH GENATO

In pursuit of maximum comfort ST YL I ST

MAJ VELOSO
T
hat’s one of
the tags for
this trend. Or THE KNITS
Athleisure. No granny-made crochet here,
Streetwear. these knits are space-age tech
Whatever you melded with comfort of, yes, one
call the of lola’s handmade specialties.
stereotypical joggers-and- These will be the centerpiece of
trainers look, you can’t deny your outfit, but there’s no need
that it looks way comfy and to get them in the uso neon
super clean. If you’re colorways–their silhouttes and
searching for a (lazy?) daily design have enough going on to
outfit, this could be your look interesting in plain black
look. Here’s what you should and white.
assemble...
Ultra Boost Core Black,
P8,295, adidas

Flyknit Racer, P7,995, Nike

Bushido Pleated Long Tee,

P900, Royalty

THE LAYERS
A department store
three-pack of tees may
work, but only if you have
the body of a Greek god to
show for it. Streetwear
people spend on their plain
shirts because fit is king
when there are no fancy
graphics to focus on.
White, black, gray, heather
gray, navy–this is your color
wheel from now on.

Basic Grey T-Shirt,

P600, Uniqlo

Premium Mesh Tee,

P1,500, Royalty

Heather Gray
Thumbhole Tee L/S,
P750, MN | LA
style
 THE BASICS
Some streetwear may be
too pricey it scares you
right off—like the trainers.
But you can splurge on
that and save on other
elements in your outfit.
The not-so-secret source
for below-budget needs
are the fast fashion
brands (fast, in the sense
of fast-food. But fashion
in the sense of, well,
good fashion). Don’t be a
millionaire, be a
chillionaire.

White Sweatpants,
P1,600, H&M

Black Bomber Jacket,

P2,500, Bershka

Supima Long Sleeves,

P490, Uniqlo
THE HATS
When was the last time you wore a white hat? Though
tough to keep clean, it’s the most crisp headwear option
out there. It’s sort of like bleach for a clouded mind, if you
know what we’re saying. Its friend, the bucket (seen
here), is also for those days when you just want to hide
your hair and relax like an off-duty fisherman.

White Logo Bucket Hat, P1,800, Stüssy

Black Bucket Hat, P6,000, Y-3

Cap, P800, adidas

F H ME
W O R D S A N D ST YL I N G
ASH MAHINAY

P H OTO G R A P HY

STY L
DAIRY DARILAG

wow!
that’s
Here’s how
not to wear
clown boots loud
 style

2
Roshe One, NO MORE
P4,295, Nike; TU B E
Crook socks,
P595, Richer or SOCKS
Poorer There are nice and
colorful socks
everywhere these
days, so there is no
more excuse to wear
white tubes outside
of sport.

Grid 9000,
P4,995,
Saucony;
Outlaw socks,
P595, Richer or

1
Poorer

G O TO N AL
What is a tonal
colorway? It is simply
the classy and
fashion-forward way
of referring to a shoe
that is all-red or
all-blue, or all-what
have you. Don’t get
fancy and start calling Prio, P3,795,
all-white or all-black Creative
shoes tonal schemes Recreation;
though, just call them Badlands
black or white–don’t socks, P595,
reach young blood. Richer or Poorer
style
TH E BAS ICS

3
Red is the most intense
color, according to that
experiment you did in
kindergarten where you Feed the Cat,
looked at red and closed P2,995, Pony
your eyes, then, wow, the
afterimage stays for a
long time! What we’re
saying is red socks can
stun people, so try to get
pairs that are not solid
rosso tones.

Shadow Original,

4
P3,995, Saucony;
Walk On socks,
P595, Richer or
Poorer

C O LO R S O F
R E FIN E M E NT
Dark green socks are the
less appreciated brethren
of dark blue socks. Dark
green gives the same
level of refinement and
gentlemanliness without All items
being played out. available at
Complex Tokuten, P5,000,
Lifestyle Store, Onitsuka Tiger;
5F Shangri-la Patriarch socks,
East Wing P595, Richer or
Poorer
 F H M N O V E MB E R

Kelly Harris
Bernal
If you meet her at a club, think of more
creative ways to get through her because,
well, she knows your moves!

Y
ou see this foreign-looking
hottie at the bar. You
gather up all your English
so you can deliver your
icebreaker fluently—and
with an accent! But when you get close
to her, you hear her speak, and it’s like
she could just be your really, really
hot kapitbahay. Meet Kelly Harris
Bernal, a mix of Australian-Spanish
sexiness with a heart that’s all Pinay.
She tells us that we shouldn’t be shy to
approach her if we see her in a club or
elsewhere. We’d be more than happy to
JAY TABLANTE follow her advice...

CHISE ALCANTARA Harris-Bernal sounds weirdly

Filipino…
STYLING: JET BABAS I’m using my dad’s middle name and
MAKEUP: HANNAH KIM surname. He’s half-Australian and
SPECIAL THANKS TO: PHOTTIX PHILIPPINES
Spanish-Filipino, that’s why it sounds
like that.
GIRLFRIEND

That’s an interesting mix. What

culture would you say reflects your
personality most?
Well, I was born and raised here in the
Philippines, so I would say Pinay na
Pinay talaga ako. But I do look like a
foreigner kaya akala nila minsan di
ako nagta-Tagalog, ha ha!
Do you think you intimidate people
because of how you look?
Yeah, which is so unfair. Like, dude,
yeah I look like a snob but when we
start talking you’ll realize that I’m the
nicest person you’ll ever meet!
So, what kind of guys approach you?
Foreigner din usually, ha ha!
But what do you prefer: Foreign men
or Pinoys?
Pinoys, of course! Filipino men are
sweet, funny, and caring.
And as a half-and-half, how would
you describe Filipino women?
Well, most of my friends are Pinays
and I can say that my Pinay friends
are nicer than my Aussie or foreign
friends because Pinays are very caring,
sweet, and they always take care of me
whenever I get drunk!
You get drunk often?
Yup! Syempre, kapag gumimik
kailangan malasing, ha ha!
How often do you go out?
Once a week usually but it really
depends with my friends. If they want
to go out then I’ll join them!
Do you like meeting guys during
your nights out?
Not really. I mean, I’m open to make
guy friends, but most of the guys I have
met in clubs, they usually just want
talk you into going home with them or
just make out with you, ‘di ba? Like, I
know how you guys think! Ha ha!
Are you friendlier when drunk?
Sadly no, mas snob ako kapag lasing!
Do you think that clubs are still an
ideal place to go and meet women?
Masyado na yatang obvious yung
gusto nilang mangyari kung sa club
dahil even yung ibang girls, gusto
lang maka-meet ng good looking guys,
ha ha!
Where would you recommend, then?
Through common friends?
Is that how you met your boyfriend?
Nope, we met at a club! Sorry, ha ha!
But hey, we lasted three years! FH M

Kelly’s
life this
month

Feeling like a greek goddess today! For the haters... ha ha! Reptillian love

116 FH M NOVEMBER 2015 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

 WIN AT LIFE

FIT AND
HEAVY EATS
Eating healthy doesn’t mean feeding off raw pechay.
These ‘wholesome food restaurants’ care as much
about your taste buds as they do your nutrition—even
sisig is on the menu!

Lentils Provençal,

PHOTOGRAPHY:
JONATHAN BALDONADO
WORDS:
KHYNE PALUMAR
 SUSI
SUPERFOODS AND

1
Forbestown Road,
Burgos Circle, NUTRITIOUS CONDIMENTS
BGC, Taguig ACCORDING TO SUSI HEAD
CHEF KYRA DE VERA

Advocates sustainable, cruelty-free, non-heart-attack-inducing ways of

getting food on your plate. The key, they say, lies in fist-sized burgers, “Kale is one of the most nutritious
shepherd’s pies, chimichurris, and decadent dark chocolate cakes—all vegetables. It’s rich in flavonoids.
vegan and gluten-free, of course. Susi’s owner, Bianca Mabanta, has It looks a bit like lettuce, but with
celiac, an autoimmune disease that prevents her from eating anything darker and more curled leaves.
that has wheat. But being vegan is her advocacy. Says head chef Kyra De There are now kale growers in
Vera: “Everything, from the ingredients to the condiments, is plant-based. Tagaytay and Batangas—that’s Dark
And then we make our own gluten-free bread, which is a mixture of where our kale comes from.” chocolate!
potato starch and cassava starch.” Burger cheers!

“Beets are rich in phytonutrients,

but they have an earthy flavor,
so we cook it with a bit of sugar
when we put it in our salad. We
use candied beets; it goes well
with the mushroom ‘bacon’ and
lentils.”
Le n ti l s P ro ve nç a l , P375
M r. P h o e n i x , P445
E at Yo u r Fe e l i ng s , P245
O s c ar th e G ro u ch , P195

“Most chocolate now is just

cow’s milk, which is high in fat—
mixed with very little cacao. Our
cacao beans are locally grown.
We get our handpicked beans
from a cacao farm in Davao. It
doesn’t go through a machine.”

“Nutritional yeast is a
replacement for a lot of non-
vegan seasonings. We can’t use
fish oil, for one. It’s deactivated
yeast that has a sharp cheesy
taste. It has riboflavin, niacin, and
B12, among others.”

2 V E G E TA B L E - E AT I N G R U L E S O F T H U M B
ACCORDING TO PIPINO OWNER ALESSA LANOT

PIPINO have the animal-based

39 Malingap St., Teacher’s “Filipino food is mostly cholesterol and fats. They
Village, QC brown, so to balance are good fats from seeds,
it off we have to eat nuts, avocados, and
greens, yellows, healthy oils.”
Part of the Pino Group of purples—because each
restaurants (Pino serves Pinoy color is rich in its own
fusion dishes; Pi dishes pies), set of nutrients. We
Pipino is the vegan joint that play nutrition by color.” “If you’re looking for
rounds off the cleverly named the chewiness of meat,
trio. Owner Alessa Lanot says: mushrooms will give that.
“We followed suit on what Pino “We still have a lot But I wouldn’t suggest
is, which is creative Filipino. And fried stuff, because a mock meat. Mock meat is
because Pipino is plant-based— lot of Filipino comfort gluten, so it’s really a cop
no dairy, no animal products or food is fried. Ours is out. It doesn’t taste very
byproducts, not even honey—we the healthier alternative good as well.”
have to be more creative with because we don’t
the ingredients.” This creativity
is seen in noodles made of
kalabasa, pesto made of kale
and malunggay, cheese made
Bl a ck b e an b u rg e r, P225
of tofu, and a dessert list you
Po t a to ch i l aq u i l e s , P285
wouldn’t think had eggs or dairy
K a l a b as a A rrab i a t a , P165
in them. The easiest ways to
S p ri n g ro l l tri o , P275
gorge on gulay.
 3
RUNNER’S
K ITC H E N
Creekside Square, 74 Tomas Morato, Q.C.

Dreamed up by the founders of Run 365 PH (a

running club that counts Bianca King and Glaiza De
Castro as members). “After a run, we usually ate at
a fastfood or tapsihan. We run to be healthy, but end
up at an unhealthy place after, kaya parang wala
rin—so we decided to open a healthy restaurant we
could run to,” says co-owner (and FHM lensman)
Xander Angeles. Food on the menu is heavy on
complex carbs, fresh-pressed juices, with a surprise
appearance of wild boar for heft, and very little
white-colored food. “White kasi is usually food that’s
too processed. We want to keep our ingredients as
raw as possible,” Xander says. “So we have black
rice; the pasta is whole wheat or made of quinoa;
and we have coco sugar instead of white sugar—
because your gut takes
so much beating from
processed food.”

E AT L I KE A N ATH L E TE A C C O R D I N G TO R U N N E R’S
KITCHEN’S XANDER ANGELES S p i c y Tu na Q u i no a
R o l l , P280
A rti ch o k es & Tea -
“Mataas yung requirement ko s m o ke d q u es o ng
“Once you run kasi, you damage for carbs because as a runner, p u ti o n w h o l e w h ea t
a little bit of your muscles— I train every day. My diet is c ro s ti n i , P230
napupunit. So you need to eat mostly protein and complex R u n n e r’ s B rea k f a s t ,
protein within two hours to speed carbohydrates—ito yung slow P300
up the healing process. We have burning. It makes me more P raw n s a nd Q u i no a
specials designed as recovery energetic; I don’t crave for w i th s u n - d r i ed
meal for runners..” sugar.” to m ato s a u c e, P375

Ground Level, P L A N T P R OT E I N A N D N UT R IT I O N
4 E D GY VEG GY Brixton Street,
Kapitolyo, Pasig
A C C O R D I N G T O E D G Y V E G G Y' S
DENISE CELDRAN

Has all your world cuisine hunger pangs covered (Korean, Japanese,
Morrocan, and Indian) in tasty, hefty servings. But Pinoy comfort-food “A lot of vegetables, beans, and
dine-ins and takeouts from bottled vegan bagoong to frozen sisig and grains have protein—but we
longganiza, take the popular vote: “Our longganizas are made with don’t actually need that much. P ICK!
mushroom, but people are really impressed by much how it tastes like An average person who weighs
meat. The sisig is made of oyster mushrooms and crunchy tofu,” owner about 120-130lbs only needs 40
Denise Celdran says. “I find that as long as people find the food malasa, grams of protein. That’s already a
it doesn’t matter to them what piece of tofu and a cup of beans.
the base is. I prefer that people Fact is, if you get too much
include more vegetables in protein from meat sources, you’re
their diet, but I’m not a militant a candidate for gout.”
vegetarian.” Denise adds, “Make
the food good and people will
eat it.” “Leafy greens are rich in calcium.
The darker the leaves, the higher
in alkaloids and phytonutrients.
Salads don’t have to be boring. If
M u s h ro om sisig with you have the right combination of
g a r l i c brown rice, P270 crunch and dressing, sweetness,
B a n h M i Vietnamese saltiness, or umami—then salad is
p a n i n o , P275 never boring.”
P a d Th ai Salad, P230
UPGRADE

We started our own gaming events

because some organizers were cheating
us off our winnings. A lot of players were
already complaining, pero at the time they
really had no one to complain to. Kami rin
naman, walang choice, sumusunod lang kami
sa kung ano’ng meron, up until dumating ‘yung
point na sinabi ko, “Hindi na pwede ‘to.”

With Mineski, I was just trying to fix

what was broken. Slowly, the players
started appreciating my efforts. So when
we started, it wasn’t really
for business, but more
for the community—there
was something in it for
CV everybody.
RONALD
“RHOM”/“RORO” It’s difficult if you’re not
ROBINS, 29 on a level playing field.
The organizers respect me
Currently: because they know that I’m
• President and CEO, always looking for the real
Mineski Franchise champions—pantayin niyo
Corp. lahat para walang dayaan at
Formerly: para yung pinakamagaling
• Team Leader, Mineski na players ang manalo.
Education:
• De La Salle University, The “Father of Philippine
Finance Management e-sports” title came
later, along with the
community that gave me
that title. Kapag may mga
problems kasi sila, sa akin sila tumatakbo.
Kapag dinadaya sila ng ibang organizers at
sinumbong sa akin, yari talaga yung mga
organizers na yun sa akin—tutumba talaga sila
hanggang sa hindi na sila makakagawa ng
event ulit.

Marami akong natutunan sa paglalaro

ng DotA—even my leadership philosophy,
especially now that I’m running this business,
galing ‘yan sa paglalaro ko ng DotA.

P H OTO G R AP H Y: H E I D I PAS C UA L- AQ U E N D E ; I N T E RV I EW : TO N I ANT I PO R DA

I was never a student leader. But when

HOW I DID IT
we started playing the game as a team, ako
na ang naging leader, and I started to think
differently—iba kasi kapag the group moves
together as opposed to mag-isa ka lang.

From DotA boy to ‘Father I learned how to analyze people. Minsan

may personal issues talaga ang mga players,
of Philippine e-sports’ and you’d know when they have problems
because it reflects in the way they play. So I
learned how to motivate other players.

We started playing DotA back in Before a tournament, lahat kami I can’t compete anymore. Alam kong kung
college and eventually formed a team nagpapakalbo. We did that back in the day maglalaro ako, dudurugin lang nila ako. Alam
composed of players from different to tell ourselves that dapat linisin mo muna mo ‘yung kasabihan: “Quit while you’re ahead.”
colleges in La Salle—so merong from ang ulo mo before going into a tournament. It
business, computer science, political science, also signified that everyone was prepared and Other people think e-sports isn’t really
etc. Then, we started joining tournaments. dedicated to win, and that how they looked a sport—I’m determined to prove them wrong.
Back then, maliliit lang yung events, so it’s didn’t matter. And if I can’t, then my life’s work is a joke. I
more to engage with teams from other want to have players tell their parents that
universities. Kung magaling ka, chicks na ‘yung they never wasted their time playing a game.
lumalapit sa’yo. Like before, yung mga
Back then, pagtatawanan ka ‘pag sinabi naging kakampi ko, hindi naman kapogian, hindi I want an all-Filipino team to win the
mong gusto mong maging cyber- naman macho, pero makikita mo that the girls world championship. So now my focus is
athlete. Wala pang sponsors nun, so kapag have…an appreciation for what they’re doing. mentoring new players to reach that goal. By
player ka at hindi ka nanalo, wala kang kita. Or training and supporting them, I feel like I’m
kung team kayo, share na lang talaga kayo sa still playing. FH M
kung ano’ng meron.

122 FH M NOVEMBER 2015 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

 ADVERTISING FEATURE

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UPGRADE

O R
M OT

Premium How could the

Hyundai Grand
Santa Fe get

Spec
any better? They
threw captain’s
seats out back—
on an SUV!
WORDS: PONG CASTILLO
 THE BIG QUESTIONS
How is it a “grand” version
of its predecessor, the
standard Hyundai Santa Fe?
Version 2.0s are usually
simply “bigger, faster,
stronger,” and the Grand
Santa Fe is just about that.
Being the long-wheelbase
version of its predecessor,
the Grand is almost 300mm
longer overall. It can sit up
to seven passengers, and get
this: the front passenger and
the two second row seats are
captain’s chairs—so yes, it
is essentially “bigger” and
could haul your brood in.
Is it any faster or
stronger?
Well, it’s powered by the
same 2.2-liter eVGT CRDi
turbodiesel engine as in the
standard Santa Fe, but runs
on a six-speed automatic
transmission. So while it
won’t be faster, it could just
get you from point A to point
B on a smoother 4WD ride.
Is it more a high-end
family SUV?
Sure, but it could also be
your weekend companion
to the great outdoors.
Impress the ladies with the
Grand Santa Fe’s panoramic
sunroof, whether on a
Hyundai Grand Santa Fe
Hyundai Santa Fe
www.fhm.com.ph
sunny drive to the beach
or a star-lit night down to
some intimate—er, romantic
spot. Also, this elegant ride
won’t mind going off-road.
The downhill brake control
(DBC) and the Hill-start
assist control (HAC) are your
wingmen when the road
gets rough. And to make
things more interesting, the
Grand’s glove compartment
can double as a mini-fridge
with the built-in cooling
system. A can of soda for
you Mr. Driver, a can of beer
for your lady passenger,
everybody wins!
How would a Grand
Santa Fe fare in fuel
economy, given the daily
“carmageddon” in Metro
Manila?
The Grand has a 71-liter fuel
capacity and, if you drive
smart, can go 100 kilometers
on just 7.6 liters of gas. Plus,
diesel is still significantly
cheaper than gasoline.
But we’re pretty sure the
price is nowhere “cheap.”
P2,498,000. Yes, it’s a bagful
of money, but worth all the
spend. Also, the car goes
with a five-year warranty (or
100,000 km, whichever goes
first).
What we What else
drove is in the
Hyundai Grand
Santa Fe 2.2
6AT 4WD
package?
Integrated memory seat
Premium (IMS)—customizable seat
Engine: 2.2-liter
settings for the driver and his
eVGT CRDi
wingman
turbodiesel
Maximum power:
Rain sensor
197ps @ 3800rpm
Maximum torque:
Seat ventilation
44.5 kg-m@1800-
2500rpm
Lane Departure Warning
Price: P2,498,000
System—a camera on the
top area of your windshield
working as sensors for more
accurate lane recognition
7-airbag system
facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial NOVEMBER 2015 FH M 125
UPGRADE

Screen Capture
7” HO
M
T
ET L
A

6”
5”
4”
3”
2”
1”

LEN OVO VIBE ASUS AEGI S IPHO NE 6

Smartphone spec
sheets are so crammed H E I G HT: 5”
full of numbers it can
be overwhelming:
13-megapixels; 15
percent faster; 4 RAMs
of GB; Octa-core...what The five-inch category is the main
is all this noise? Let us battleground for smartphones.
simplify your phone- Manufacturers often push their
choosing pain by homing phones' camera capabilities to
in on the one spec that highlight their screens. Lenovo one
you literally feel in your ups the competition by physically
palm: screen size. laying out the VIBE’s controls like
a real point-and-shoot camera. So
instead of fumbling around with a fake
“shutter button,” you can concentrate
on catching that perfect portrait
instead.
Score for: P9,000
ZENFONE 2
H E I G HT: 5.5”
The ZenFone 2 stands out
because it has a 5.5” screen in
a made-for-a-five-inch-screen
body size. Its bezels have been
trimmed to give the ZenFone 2 a
72-percent screen-to-body ratio.
More viewing real estate for less
pocket bulge! It’s also a mere
3.9mm at its thinnest point.
Score for: P15,000
PLUS GLAS S CASE
H E I G HT: 5.5”
Here’s a tasty case for your iPhone
6+. The AEGIS’ innovation is “real
3D curved glass.” Basically, their
R&D gang found a way to bend
glass to follow the sexy curves of
your iPhone 6+. That means zero
room for dust and nastiness to
accumulate, which can often happen
with a flat-screen protector, leading
to much consternation among neat
freaks.
Score for: P1,950, Case Studio

126 FH M NOVEM BER 2015 www.fhm.com.ph

We size up your words:
Ash Mahinay
smartphone options photography:
right in the face Mark Jesalva

326°
surveillance!
If you’ve been holding out on getting a dash camera,
this might convince you at last. The Zumi Duo
Dash gets its name from its two-camera setup: a
1080-pixel front camera and a VGA little brother
pulling up the rear. Both run at 30 frames per
second—that means legible footage and not some
sort of constantly buffering YouTube video experience.
Camera angles are 170 degrees in front and 158
degrees at the rear. Pretty much the only thing that
can escape your watch are ninjas.
Score for: P5,000, zumi.ph

LEN OVO
PHA B PLU S
H E I G HT: 6.8”

The big daddy of the lineup blurs the

line between phone and tablet, and
therefore sits in the phablet category. If
you are hassled by the space constraints
of having a tablet and a smartphone
(first-world problems), the PHAB Plus
lets you have your portability and giant
media consumption at the same time. It’s
even got dual-sim capability so you can
potentially carry around three devices for
the price of one.
Score for: P15,999

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial NOVEMBER 2015 FH M 127

 TRUE asks if it was raining.
It just so happened
that I was listening to,
“It’s Raining Men” by
The Weather Girls so

STORIES
I suddenly just blurted
out “Hallelujah!” to him.
He just walked out of
my cubicle, and now he
just always gives me an
awkward smile every time
he enters my cubicle.
Humiliation is key Chillian, via Facebook

TRUE STORY
Kelly Harris
Bernal
My boyfriend and I stay
at a condominium near
his parents’ house. One
day, his mom texted

I LLU ST R ATI O N: G I LB E RT DAR OY

him that they were
going to visit us with
his sister and niece so
my boyfriend told me to
prepare some dinner. We
went to the supermarket
and bought some stuff
for dinner but when
we got home, his mom
texted that his sister had
some emergency from
her work so my boyfriend
and I ended up eating
dinner alone, we even
had some wine. I felt
Broments kinda tipsy and naughty
so we started to fool
I was in the locker room, minding my but he was always like understand what it does
so I asked him if I could around. But as things
own business, when I overheard two that so we didn’t think
take a better look at it. were starting to heat up,
much of it. He said to his family just walks in
really buff, scary-looking guys. They us, “Uy, ano’ng ginagawa He handed it to me and
we forgot that I hadn’t on us I was in shock and
were having a conversation about their niyo rito!?” We greeted couldn’t move. His sister
him a happy birthday and washed my hands yet, so
workout routine so I decided to listen in I had a blotch of ketchup broke the silence and
stormed in. He tried to said, “We were planning
to get some tips to increase my gains. stop us but it was too on my fingers that got
stuck to the card. His to surprise you, we didn’t
After a while, one of them was just late. There on his couch expect na kami pala ang
was a half-naked girl. face turned white as his
about to leave. Then I saw the other buff Mountain Swamp card ma-su-surprise!” Moral
We just decided to leave of the story: Always
guy chase after him and call out, “Bro!” him the ice cream, and turned red.
check if your front door
The guy who was about to leave stopped left him to deal with his JL Pogi, via Facebook
is locked!
and replied, “Uy, bro, ano yun?” “Um, business.
WalangMakakaalam, Signal numbah
bro.” “Yes?” “Brief ko yata yung nadala via Facebook five
mo.” I could barely contain my laughter I was writing an article
so I went inside a shower cubicle and It feels like magic for work and I had the
let it out there. One of the best “bro A friend of mine is a YouTube videos on
collector of Magic cards. random to classic pop
conversations” I’ve ever heard! We were eating lunch hits which I was singing
Broooooo, via Facebook one time and we were enthusiastically to, of
having burgers. He course only inside my
finished eating before me head. No one usually
and was just watching me witnesses my Dubsmash
eat. I could tell he was talents because I
Reverse surprise! ice cream and AlDub feeling giddy about a land sit at the far end of
My friends and I were replays. We arrived at his card he just bought for the office beside the
going to surprise a guy doorstep and rang the P400. He took it out of windows. So I was in the
from our barkada for his doorbell. He opened the his bag and showed me. procrastinating-feel-na-
birthday. We planned to door, and we noticed he It actually looked cool feel-yung-kanta zone
hangout and chill over was topless and sweaty even though I didn’t really when my boss suddenly

128 FH M NOVEMBER 2015 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph