I.

Introduction:
With the advent of the Internet and the progress of the 4.0 industrial revolution, the world
has become more interconnected, facilitating cultural exchange and commercial activities
between nations. In the realm of literature, a multitude of renowned works in foreign
languages have been translated into Vietnamese, allowing Vietnamese readers to keep
abreast of global literary developments. The translation process, as outlined by Phạm Xuân
Nguyên, a literary critic and the president of the Hanoi Writers' Association, involves three
key steps: translation, editing, and evaluation. Evaluation is highlighted as a crucial stage
for enhancing translation quality.

Notably, recent MA and PhD theses conducted at the University of Languages and
International Studies, VNU have focused on the assessment of translation quality. These
theses, authored by Luong To Lan, Nguyen Thuy Yen, Le My Hanh, Hoang Thi Diem Hang,
Pham Thi Thuy, Nguyen Thu Hang, Tran Thi Minh, and Trieu Thu Hang, scrutinize the
translation quality of diverse texts, ranging from legal documents and travel guidebooks to
novels and short stories. These studies not only identify errors and limitations in the
translations but also recognize their strengths. However, according to Hoang Van Van, Vu
Van Dai, and Le Hung Tien, there is still a dearth of research on translation assessment,
particularly in the context of English-Vietnamese translation, necessitating further
investigation.

* Some information about Peter Newmark:

Peter Newmark (1916-2011) was a highly influential figure in the field of

translation studies. He was a British translation theorist and educator who made
significant contributions to both the theory and practice of translation.
 Newmark's work encompassed various aspects of translation, including
translation theory, methodology, and quality assessment. He emphasized the
importance of producing translations that are accurate, readable, and culturally
appropriate.

One of his notable contributions is the development of the Newmark's Model of

Translation Quality Assessment. This model provides a structured framework for
assessing translation quality by considering three primary parameters: source-text-
oriented evaluation, target-text-oriented evaluation, and purpose-oriented evaluation.
These parameters allow for a comprehensive assessment of translations, considering
factors such as fidelity to the source text, fluency in the target language, and the
effectiveness of the translation in meeting its intended purpose.

Newmark's model has been widely adopted and referenced in the field of
translation studies. It provides a systematic approach to evaluating and improving
translation quality, offering valuable guidance to translators, language professionals,
and researchers.

Through his research, publications, and teachings, Peter Newmark has left a
lasting impact on the field of translation studies. His insights and contributions
continue to shape the way translations are approached, assessed, and understood
today.

II. Translation equivalence and translation assessment

2.1. Translation Equivalence:

Translation equivalence is a fundamental concept in translation theory and serves as a

primary criterion for assessing translation quality. Although the concept of equivalence may
be subject to debate, Baker (1992) suggests three levels of translation equivalence based
on linguistic forms: word level, sentence level, and text level. Newmark (1991: 48), who
favors a form-based approach to equivalence, states that the desired outcome of any
translation is to produce an equivalent effect on the readership as the original text had on
its readers. Therefore, equivalence can be understood as a term describing the nature and
extent of the relationship between the source language (SL) and target language (TL) texts.

Kade (1968) identifies four common ways to classify translation equivalence, which include:

1. Form-based equivalence: Equivalence at the word, sentence, or text level.

2. Meaning-based equivalence: Denotative, connotative, pragmatic, and formal
equivalence.
3. Function-based equivalence: Dynamic equivalence and formal equivalence.
 4. Quantitative equivalence: One-to-one equivalence, one-to-many equivalence, one-
to-part-of-one equivalence, and nil equivalence.

In this presentation, meaning-based equivalence is employed to assess the

translation quality of personal pronouns, words and expressions, and sentences where
there are structural changes in the extract. The aim is to evaluate the extent to which the
translation is equivalent to the original text.

2.2. Translation assessment

Translation assessment, also known as translation evaluation or translation criticism, is a
crucial aspect of translation studies. Scholars such as Julian House (2001) and Peter
Newmark (1995) recognize the significance of carefully and critically evaluating translated
texts. Newmark emphasizes that translation criticism serves as an essential link between
translation theory and its practical application (Newmark, 1998: 184).

Among prominent researchers in the field, Malcolm Williams provides a clear definition of
"Translation Quality Assessment" (TQA) from various perspectives. Williams highlights that
TQA can be quantitative or qualitative, involving mathematical or statistical measurements
as well as gathering readers' responses through interviews and questionnaires.
Furthermore, TQA can be diagnostic (identifying areas for improvement at the beginning of
a study course), formative (measuring progress and providing feedback during a study
course), or summative (assessing the learning outcomes). Williams emphasizes that TQA
should not be value-free and must be based on criteria of goodness. Critics aim to
determine degrees of goodness when conducting TQA, specifically identifying the extent to
which the translated text (TT) is equivalent to the source text (ST).

2.3. Peter Newmark’s Models of Translation Quality

Assessment
In “A textbook of translation” (1998), Peter Newmark gives his own model of TQA called
“comprehensive criticism of a translation”, including five obvious steps:

 Step 1: A brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its functional aspects.
 Step 2: The translator’s interpretation of the SL text’s purpose, his translation method and the
translation likely readership.
 Step 3: A selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with the original.
 Step 4: An evaluation of the translation: (a) in the translator’s terms; (b) in the critic’s terms; (c)
assess the translation as a piece of writing, independent of its original.
 Steps 5: Where appropriate, an assessment of the likely place of the translation in the target language
culture or discipline.

In order to achieve the abovementioned aim, each sentence of the origin is put side by side with their
translation to indicate which sentences are transaltion of each other. The analysis of the extract follows the
steps of Newmark’s model, compares the origin to the translation in three aspects: personal pronouns, words
and expressions, sentence structures on meaning-based equivalence.

III. Assessing the english translation quality of an extract from “Dế

mèn phiêu lưu ký” based on Peter Newmark’s model
3.1. Source text analysis
Dế Mèn phiêu lưu ký" is one of the most favorite works of writer To Hoai. The work was first
published in 1941 and then was published in many different forms. In which, the book "Dế Mèn
phiêu lưu ký" consists of 148 pages, on 18×25 cm paper with many vivid illustrations by artist Ta
Huy Long.

Meanwhile, the Target Text “Diary of a Cricket” (English Version - Illustrated by Ta Huy Long),
Author: Author team, Kim Dong Publishing Company which was printed in September 2014.

"Dế Mèn phiêu lưu ký" (The Adventures of a Cricket) is a well-known Vietnamese
children's book written by Tô Hoài. It holds various intentions and functional aspects
that contribute to its significance and popularity. Here is a brief analysis of the work,
highlighting its intentions and functional aspects:

Intention:
  Entertainment: The primary intention of "Dế Mèn phiêu lưu ký" is to entertain
young readers. It presents an engaging and imaginative adventure story that
captures the attention and sparks the curiosity of children. The narrative is filled
with exciting events and challenges that keep readers entertained throughout
the book.

 Moral Education: Alongside its entertainment value, the book also serves the
intention of moral education. It imparts valuable life lessons and values through
the experiences of the main character, Dế Mèn. The story teaches children
about friendship, bravery, determination, and the importance of helping others.

2. Functional Aspects:

 Cultural Representation: "Dế Mèn phiêu lưu ký" reflects the cultural context of
Vietnam. It portrays Vietnamese settings, traditions, and customs, allowing
readers to connect with their own cultural heritage. It promotes a sense of
identity and appreciation for Vietnamese culture among young readers.

 Language Development: The book plays a functional role in language

development for young readers. It uses accessible language and engaging
storytelling techniques to enhance vocabulary, reading comprehension, and
language fluency. The book is written in a style that appeals to children,
making it an effective tool for language learning and literacy development.

 Imagination and Creativity: "Dế Mèn phiêu lưu ký" stimulates the imagination
and creativity of young readers. The fantastical adventures and whimsical
characters in the story encourage children to think beyond the boundaries of
reality and explore their own imaginative capabilities.

 Emotional Connection: The book establishes an emotional connection between

the readers and the characters. It evokes a range of emotions, such as
excitement, empathy, and happiness, allowing young readers to engage deeply
with the story and its characters.

Overall, "Dế Mèn phiêu lưu ký" serves the intentions of entertainment and moral
education, while also encompassing functional aspects such as cultural representation,
language development, imagination, and emotional connection. Through its engaging
narrative and valuable life lessons, the book has become a beloved piece of children's
literature in Vietnam, leaving a lasting impact on its readers.
3.2. Translator’s purpose

In Step 2, it is important to delve deeper into the purpose of the source language text, the
translator's approach to translation, and the intended readership of the translated work.
 - The purpose of the source language text, "Dế Mèn phiêu lưu ký" ("Diary of a Cricket"),
is to captivate readers with an engaging adventure story centered around the life of a
cricket. The story aims to entertain and evoke a sense of wonder, drawing readers into
the world of the cricket protagonist as they embark on their exciting journey.
- Unfortunately, the excerpt does not provide specific details about the translator's
translation method. Without this information, it is challenging to assess the
translator's approach, whether they focused on preserving the style and tone of the
original text or aimed for a more creative adaptation. The lack of insight into the
translator's method leaves room for interpretation and speculation.
- Regarding the intended readership of the translation, it can be inferred that the target
audience comprises individuals who desire to read the story "Diary of a Cricket" in the
English language. This may include English-speaking readers who are fond of
adventure tales or those interested in exploring different cultural narratives. The
translated work aims to make the enchanting story accessible to a wider audience,
enabling them to experience the captivating world of the cricket through the lens of
the English language.

Understanding the purpose of the source text, the translator's translation method
(although unspecified in this case), and the intended readership helps provide a
comprehensive perspective on the translation process and the expectations set for the final
translated work.
3.3. Step 3: Detailed comparison of the translation with the original
As the extract is quite short, only one page long, the assessor, instead of choosing the
representative details for comparison, goes through the extract thoroughly sentence by
sentence to evaluate the translation at the best on three references: personal pronouns, words
and expressions, and sentence structures.

In Step 3, a meticulous examination of representative translation choices is conducted,

comparing them to the original text. Let's analyze the specific cases mentioned in the
excerpt to gain a better understanding of the translation quality.

In case 1, the translation changed the title from "Dế Mèn phiêu lưu ký" to "Diary of a
Cricket." The evaluator perceived "phiêu lưu ký" to have a more appealing sound than
"Diary." This highlights the subjective nature of translation, where different choices can be
made to convey a similar meaning while taking into account the target language's cultural
and linguistic aspects.

Moving on to cases 2 and 3, the translation successfully achieved grammatical and

semantic equivalence between the original text and the translated version. This signifies the
translator's ability to accurately capture the intended message of the source text and
effectively convey it in the target language.
However, in case 4, the translation fell short in capturing the full meaning of the original,
leading to changes in the intended message. Such discrepancies can impact the reader's
interpretation and understanding of the text, highlighting the importance of maintaining
fidelity to the source while considering cultural nuances and linguistic constraints.

No translation is provided for cases 5, 7, 10, and 11, which suggests that these specific
passages were not addressed or may have been unintentionally omitted in the translation.
It is crucial to ensure consistency and completeness in the translation process, as missing or
untranslated segments can disrupt the overall cohesiveness and comprehension of the
narrative.

In case 6, the translation demonstrated a commendable use of idiomatic language,

effectively capturing the essence and meaning of the original text. This showcases the
translator's linguistic prowess and their ability to employ idiomatic expressions that
resonate with the target audience while staying faithful to the source material.

Similarly, case 8 exemplifies a faithful translation where the intended meaning of the
original text was retained in the translated version. This highlights the translator's
competence in preserving the essence and significance of the source text, allowing the
readers to experience the story in a manner aligned with the author's intentions.

However, case 9 presented some shortcomings in the translation. Grammatical errors were
observed, and the term "bố mẹ" (parents) was replaced with the generic term "mother."
This deviation from the original text not only introduces inaccuracies but also overlooks the
inclusive nature of the original term, potentially altering the dynamics and relationships
depicted in the story.

By carefully analyzing these representative translation choices in relation to the original

text, we gain insights into the translator's proficiency in capturing the nuances, meanings,
and cultural context present in the source language. This step is essential for evaluating the
overall fidelity and effectiveness of the translation process.

3.4. Step 4: Evaluation of the translation:

In this step, the translation is subject to evaluation from different perspectives, providing
valuable insights into its overall quality and effectiveness. Let's delve into each aspect of the
evaluation process mentioned in the excerpt.

(a) Translator's self-evaluation: Unfortunately, no information is provided in the excerpt

regarding the translator's self-assessment of the translation. Understanding the translator's
perspective is crucial as it sheds light on their intentions, choices, and potential challenges
encountered during the translation process. Their insights could offer valuable reflections
on the fidelity and success of the translation.
(b) Critic's evaluation: The critic's evaluation plays a pivotal role in assessing the
translation's merits and shortcomings. In this case, the original text and the translation are
highlighted as having changes and shortcomings in conveying content and meaning. This
suggests that there might be discrepancies or inadequacies in capturing the full essence of
the source text in the translated version. Such evaluations help identify areas that require
improvement and provide constructive feedback to enhance the translation's fidelity and
overall impact.

(c) Evaluation of the translation as a written work, independent of the original:

Unfortunately, no specific information is provided in the excerpt regarding the evaluation
of the translation as a standalone written work. Evaluating the translation independently of
the original text allows for a comprehensive assessment of its linguistic quality, stylistic
coherence, and overall effectiveness as a piece of writing. This evaluation aspect provides
insights into the translator's ability to create a compelling and engaging narrative in the
target language, irrespective of the source material.

Understanding the different dimensions of the evaluation process helps in comprehensively

assessing the translation's strengths, weaknesses, and areas for improvement. While the
excerpt lacks specific information regarding self-evaluation, evaluation from a critic's
standpoint, and independent evaluation as a written work, these evaluation steps are
crucial in enhancing the translation's quality and ensuring its success in effectively
conveying the intended message to the target audience.

Ultimately, the evaluation stage assists in refining the translation process, encouraging
continual growth, and facilitating a more accurate and nuanced transmission of the source
text's content and meaning in the target language.

3.5. Step 5: Assessment of the potential position of the

translation in the target language culture or field.

In the excerpt, unfortunately, no information is provided regarding the assessment of the

translation's potential position in the target language culture or field. However, exploring
this aspect can be crucial in understanding the impact and relevance of the translation
within its intended audience and cultural context.

Translating a text not only involves linguistic and semantic considerations but also requires
an understanding of the target culture and its specific linguistic nuances, literary
conventions, and reader expectations. The successful integration of a translated work into
the target language culture relies on factors such as cultural adaptation, readability, and the
ability to resonate with the target audience.

Assessing the potential position of a translation within the target language culture or field
involves analyzing its suitability for the target audience, its alignment with the cultural and
literary norms, and its potential reception and impact within the intended readership or
 domain. It considers factors such as the availability of similar works in the target language,
the demand for the genre or subject matter, and the overall cultural and literary landscape
in the target language.

Additionally, the evaluation may also examine the translation's potential contribution to the
target language culture or field. Does it introduce new perspectives, expand literary
horizons, or bridge cultural gaps? Assessing the translation's positioning can shed light on
its potential value and impact within the target language community.

Although the excerpt lacks specific information about the assessment of the translation's
position in the target language culture or field, this step is crucial in understanding the
broader implications and potential reception of the translated work. Considering the
cultural and contextual factors ensures that the translation aligns with the expectations and
preferences of the target audience, facilitating its successful integration and acceptance
within the target language culture.

In summary, the assessment of the translation's potential position in the target language
culture or field encompasses a comprehensive analysis of its cultural adaptation, reader
reception, and overall contribution to the target language literary landscape. While this
specific aspect is not addressed in the excerpt, it remains an essential consideration in
evaluating the translation's overall success and impact within its intended audience and
cultural context.
(bảng dưới chỉ tham khảo)

No. Original Target Comparison

Text Text

1 Nhan Dế Mèn phiêu lưu The title Diary of a Cricket “phiêu lưu ký”
đề ký sounds better than
“Diary”

2 Trong Tôi The whole I Matched

toàn story
truyện

3 Trang 8 Tôi sống độc lập từ Page 8 I have lived an independent

thủa bé. life since early childhood.
Matched

4 Trang 8 Ấy là tục lệ lâu đời Page 8 Such is the rule among us

trong họ nhà dế crickets.
Translated by the
chúng tôi.
translator does not
have enough
meaning with the
original.
5 Trang 8 Vả lại, Page 8 No translation

6 Trang 8 mẹ thường bảo Page 8 My mother used to tell her The translator used a
chúng tôi rằng: children, “It’s good for you very good idiom and
“Phải như thế để to learn to fly with your completely match
các con biết kiếm own wings. with the meaning of
ăn một mình cho the original.
quen đi.

7 Trang 8 Bởi thế, Page 8 No translation

8 Trang 8 Lứa sinh nào cũng Page 8 Following these strict Good
vậy, principles,

9 Trang 8 đẻ xong là bố mẹ Page 8 my mother made sure her - In the original – In

thu xếp cho con cái children would live on their the Target: bố mẹ -
ra ở riêng. own soon after they were mother (that’s
born. incorrect)

- The author used

active sentences, the
translator used
passive sentences to
enrich the
translation without
distorting the
meaning.

10 Lứa sinh ấy, chúng Page 8 No translation

tôi có cả thảy ba
Trang 8
anh em

11 Trang 8 Tới hôm thứ ba, mẹ Page 8
đi trước, ba đứa
tôi tấp tểnh, khấp
khởi, nửa lo nửa
vui theo sau. Mẹ
dẫn chúng tôi đi và
mẹ đem đặt mỗi
On the third day, be
omitted mother took each
of us to a hole she had dug
in the corner of a rice field.
be omitted
The translator did
not translate many
important points
from the original,
resulting in a shorter
translation, although
readers can still
đứa vào một cái understand the main
hang đất ở bờ content.
ruộng phía bên kia,
chỗ trông ra đầm
nước mà không
biết mẹ đã chịu
khó đào bới, be
đắp tinh tươm
thành hang, thành
nhà cho chúng tôi
từ bao giờ.
IV. Conclusion
In conclusion, based on the evaluation using Newmark's model, the translation of the
excerpts from "Dế Mèn phiêu lưu ký" (Diary of a Cricket) shows a mix of successes and
shortcomings. While some parts of the translation match the original effectively in terms of
grammar and meaning, there are also instances where the translation fails to capture the
full essence of the original or contains errors.

The evaluation highlights the importance of maintaining the intended meaning and
purpose of the source text during the translation process. It also emphasizes the need for
careful attention to idiomatic expressions and cultural nuances in order to produce a
successful translation that resonates with the target language readership.

However, without information regarding the translator's self-evaluation, the critic's

assessment, or the translation's evaluation as a standalone piece of writing, it is difficult to
provide a comprehensive conclusion regarding the overall quality of the translation.

Furthermore, the excerpt does not provide any information about the assessment of
the translation in the target language culture, leaving this aspect unaddressed.

In summary, while the evaluation identifies both strengths and weaknesses in the
translation, a more comprehensive assessment would require additional information and
analysis.