Raluca MOROȘAN (GORI-MOROȘAN)
Cultură și civilizație britanică
Anul I
"A child in nature, as a child in
years"
by Robert Laurence Binyon
A child in nature, as a child in years,
If on past hours she turn remembering
eyes,
She but beholds sweet joys or gentle tears,
Flower hiding flower in her pure
memories.
So flower--like, so lovely do they seem:
Too fair to be let die, they fade too fast;
Not like that hopeless beauty, which in
dream
Is ever present, but to say 'tis past.
Then should I come with sorrow at my
breast,
Profitless sorrow, vainly wished away,
Will she give comfort to my heart's unrest,
She, whose bright years are as a morn of
May?
Though I should sigh, I could not choose
but cheer,
Knowing Joy is not far, when she is near.
„Un copil în natură, ca un copil în
ani”
de Robert Laurence Binyon
Un copil în natură, ca un copil peste ani,
Spre orele ce au trecut de și-ar întoarce
ochii
Plăcute bucurii sau lacrimi blânde ar zări,
Floare ce ascunde floare în inocente
amintiri
Asemănătoare florilor, frumoase precum
par:
Prea frumoase să fie lăsate să moară, prea
repede pălesc;
Nu ca acea frumusețe fără speranță, care în
vise
Mereu prezentă, dar trecătoare./Este mereu
prezentă, doar pentru a spune că a trecut.
Atunci eu cu mâhnire în suflet, ar trebui să
vin,
Mâhnire fără rost, dorită în zadar,
Va aduce mângâiere inimii frământare,
Ea, ai cărei ani strălucitori sunt ca
diminețíle de Mai?
Chiar de aș suspina, nu aș putea să nu mă
bucur,
Știind că Bucuria nu este departe, când ea
este aproape
Watching a child explore nature is like watching a child in their early years. The sense of
wonder and excitement is boundless, and every moment is filled with new discoveries and
experiences. Robert Laurence Binyon's poem connects three main feelings with time and
experience. Joy with childhood memories, sorrow for the past memories and hope when
realising Joy is near if you look closely. As a child in nature, childhood memories can bring
sweet joys and gentle tears. The imagery of flowers within each other in our pure memories is
lovely and fleeting, like the beauty that fades too fast. However, even in times of sorrow, the
presence of someone dear can bring comfort and joy. If I were to come with sorrow, she,
whose bright years are as a morn of May, could surely comfort my heart's unrest. Knowing
that joy is not far when she is near, I cannot help but feel cheered even in my sighs.
In the following lines, I will analyse the difficulties in translating the authors' feelings deeply
rooted in the poem's verses. As a translator, capturing the exact idea, feelings, emotions, and
structure the poet envisioned takes work.
In analysing these difficulties, I will follow key elements such as translating meaning,
rhythm and rhetorical issues, metaphorical expressions, linguistic problems, and Literary
or Aesthetic Problems.
If the key to understanding and translating is simplicity, in poetry, simplicity does not always
apply. Why do I believe this? It is tough to find the exact meaning of what the poet is trying
to convey, which gives the translator much difficulty. The one that translates must discover
the appropriate aesthetic values of it. Aesthetic values play a crucial role in translating poems.
These values include rhythm, meter, rhyme, alliteration, imagery, and figurative language. A
good translator must understand these values and be able to recreate them in the target
language without compromising the meaning and beauty of the original work.
Regarding the structure of the poem, we can observe the following aspects that may give the
translation process some difficulties: Rhyme scheme: aaaa bcbc cdcd ee, Stanza lengths (in
strings): 4,4,4,2, Closest metre: iambic pentameter, Сlosest rhyme: rima, Сlosest stanza
type: tercets, Guessed form: sonnet with iambic pentameter or irregular meter, Amount of
stanzas: 4 While translating I have tried to adapt the structure to the Romanian language, but
it seems impossible without changing the meaning or the message of the poem. It is not
always possible to find a close structure to respect the authenticity of the author's structure.
The challenge is to find a way to maintain the structure and rhythm of the original poem
while also making it sound natural and poetic in the target language. This requires a deep
understanding of both languages and a creative approach to translation that can change the
entire dynamic of it. It is a delicate balance between fidelity to the original and the need to
create a new, beautiful poem in the target language. Poems are not just about words but also
about structure and form, and I strongly believe that when translating poems, we need to be
able to capture all of these elements to create a successful translation.
While reading the poem, we can quickly acknowledge that the central theme is a reference to
the passing of time - as the title shows: a child in nature, as like a child in years and the
search for Joy and happiness - Knowing Joy is not far, when she is near. Childhood memories
are a precious gift we can carry throughout our lives. They are a source of joy and comfort,
reminding us of a time when life was simpler and full of wonder. As we grow older and face
the challenges of adulthood, it can be easy to forget the moments of happiness and joy we
experienced as children. However, taking the time to reflect on those memories can bring
peace and contentment to our lives.
Regarding our poem, let's start with the title: A child in nature as a child in years. In
Romanian I chose: Un copil în natură ca un copil în ani. For me, the translation of the title
makes me wonder about the meaning of this metaphor. What is the image/message the author
is trying to transmit? After reading and rereading the poem, I concluded that it reflects on
time, memories and finding happiness connected with childhood and memories. The
repetition of the preposition 'in' is used to emphasise the image that a child, while in nature,
is, in fact, the image of childhood over the years that pass, creating memories that last and
that bring 'sorrow' or 'Joy'.
Repetition is a powerful tool in poetry that can create emphasis, rhythm, and emotional
impact. Repeating words: ( in nature/ in years, sorrow, flower ), phrases, or even entire lines
can draw attention to important themes or ideas in the poem - nature, time, sorrow. It can also
create a sense of unity and coherence in the work. Repetition can take many forms in poetry.
For example, the repetition of the word sorrow emphasises this theme and, at the same time,
gives rhythm to the poem. In Romanian, the word sorrow can be translated prin durere,
suferință or mâhnire. Durer is the general term used for sorrow but also for pain. Meanwhile,
suferință seems more connected to the body than the soul, and mâhnire appears to be the only
one in this context. It is hard to find the exact word that brings forward the perfect definition
for the word in this context. In other words in the text, we can encounter this kind of situation
as pure, fair, unrest, etc.
When translating poems, it's important to pay attention to metaphorical expressions. The title
itself is a metaphor that gave me much to think about to find a proper equivalent. I did not
manage to do so, so I decided to find the best form that expresses what the author tried to
express using simplicity while translating. In poetry, metaphors are used to create vivid and
memorable descriptions of people, places, and objects. Translating metaphors is challenging
because the same analogy may have a different equivalent in the target language. It's essential
to consider the poem's context and the metaphor's intended meaning when translating it.
Sometimes, finding a different analogy or using a more literal description in the target
language may be necessary. Other metaphors as Flower hiding flower in her pure memories-
metaphor that gave me work to find a particular metaphor specific to Romanian that could be
similar to the English one, but I was unsuccessful.
From a linguistic point of view, the specific English grammar - SVO structure, obscured
(non-standard) syntactic structures or collocation can represent one of the most significant
issues while translating poetry from one language to another. The Romanina grammatical
structure does not follow the English one and can create difficulties adapting the verses to the
target language.
"A child in nature, as a child in years" is an excellent example of collocation. The pairing of
"child" and "nature" is natural and commonly used in English. This phrase creates a sense of
innocence and purity, reinforced using "pure memories" in the last line. In Romanian, it can
be translated as Un copil în natură - that keeps the essence of the English language, but ca un
copil în ani - it seems to me that it loses meaning and significance. The Pure memories can
be translated into amintiri pure/inocente/neîntinate. Still, I found it more appropriate to
consider the connection with a child in nature to use in Romanian innocent.
The collocation of "flower hiding flower" also adds depth and meaning to the poem that
Romanian can be translated as floor ce ascunde floor/floor ascunzând floor. It suggests that
there is more than what meets the eye and that there is always something hidden or waiting to
be discovered - focusing on this meaning, I tried to find a more suitable phrase for it in
Romanian, but I failed to, so I preferred to use the closest translation to the initial text and
leave the reader to understand the intended meaning.
Other collocations such as "hopeless beauty," - frumusețe fără speranță which creates a sense
of melancholy and despair, are present in the text. The pairing of "hopeless" and "beauty"
contrasts the current beauty and the hopelessness of the situation, suggesting that something
precious has been lost. The collocation "bright years," - ani strălucitori/ ani plain de speranță
highlights the fleeting nature of happiness and suggests that it is something to be cherished
while it lasts. The juxtaposition of "bright" and "years" also creates an image of youth and
vitality, making the loss of such happiness all the more poignant. We could also translate it as
strălucitorii ani în, an attempt to follow the poetic flow and musicality. Overall, the use of
collocation in this poem helps to create a natural flow and rhythm to the language while also
evoking certain emotions in the reader.
A poem's elements, such as structure, linguistics, rhythm, meaning, and metaphorical
language, could be improved in translation. A poem is not just a written text, it is the written
text of feelings and emotions, a letter full of messages, a sea of meanings that flows within a
certain rhythm, and it is difficult to adapt it to another language without losing some of its
essences. When translating poetry, it is needed more than translating abilities; it requires the
heart of a poet and, why not, the poet itself to capture as much as possible from the original
language, message, meaning, etc.