Ginie Sayles

Rich Sex®

The Sexual
Dynamics Of
Money™
Books by Ginie Sayles

Non-Fiction
How To Meet The Rich —For
Business, Friendship Or
Romance
How To Marry The Rich
—The Rich Will Marry
Someone, Why Not You?
The Seduction Mystique—
Every Woman’s Guide To The
Art Of Sensuality
Rich Sex®, The Sexual
Dynamics of Money™ —
Diamonds Are Not A Girl’s
Best Friend—Ginie is!
How To WIN Pageants

Fiction
Her Secret Life—Was She A
Woman Without Honor Or A
Woman Who Loved Too Much?
See You In September—An
Other-Worldly Love Story
That Shatters All Boundaries
Of Time
 What You
Can Learn In This
Book

Rich Sex®, The Sexual

Dynamics of Money™ reveals
that sex with a Rich Man may or may not
be better sex; but it is different because
of the way money influences a man’s
sexual nature. The book tells you 6 types
of Rich Men and how each uses money
in seduction and in developing
relationships.
 This book can save you a lot of
time—just knowing which kind of Rich
Man you have snagged (or which one
you want to target)—and what your
chances are of getting what you want out
of the relationship, too. They won’t tell
you; but Ginie will!
Rich Sex®, The Sexual
Dynamics of Money™ also gives
you an “inside look” at the Wives of
Rich Men in the chapter titled
“Wifestyles of the Rich And Famous™.” It
tells you the difference between wives
who are adored and honored by their
Rich Mates and Wives whose hold on
their husbands is tenuous, at best.
As for Ex-Wives, Rich Sex®,
The Sexual Dynamics of
Money™ devotes an entire chapter to
His EX – with all the thorny ins and outs
in the maze of a relationship with a
divorced Rich Mate.
But will a relationship with a
Rich Man end in marriage at all? Even if
you become engaged, not all
engagements end in “I do.” Ginie tells
you how to nail it down, one way or the
other.
This book also tells you how to
decide if you even want a Rich Mate –
and how to thank your lucky stars, if you
don’t – and if you do want one; how to
evaluate a Rich Man to decide if he is
right for you.
If you think you would like to try
the Rich Man experience, but you don’t
know where to start, this book gives
names of exact places to go, when to go
there, how to meet them – including cute
pick-up lines and fun gimmicks – all to
add zest, fun, and a bit of adventure to
your life.
Rich Sex®, The Sexual
Dynamics of Money™ is not just
about sex – although it does include sex.
Learn the subtle but important ways that
money influences sex. This fascinating
information can even give you ideas of
ways to make your own sex life richer –
with or without money.
It’s no wonder that after women
read this book, they agree, “Diamonds
are not a girl’s best friend—Ginie is.”
Rich Sex®
The Sexual Dynamics of
Money™

Rich Sex® is a Registered

Trademark owned by Ginie
Sayles
Copyright © 2006, 2007 by Ginie
Sayles
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

No part of this book, including

text on the cover may be used or
Reproduced by any means, graphic,
 electronic, or mechanical, including
photocopying, recording, taping or by
any information storage retrieval system
without the written permission of the
author or publisher except in the case of
brief quotations embodied in critical
articles and reviews.

The opinions expressed in this

book are not given as advice to anyone
but as shared information the author
found useful in her own life. Use of the
pronoun “you” or its implied use is
strictly for literary aesthetics and is
employed in an impersonal sense. The
author and publishers are not liable for
any actions taken by any person or
persons, nor for any results obtained
 through the application of information
contained within this book. Further
reading of this book is the reader’s
irrevocable acceptance of personal
liability for any actions taken by the
reader.

Because of the dynamic changes

of technology; certain web addresses
or Internet references contained in this
book may change or lose validity.

Cover design by Reed Sayles

Photo of Author by Reed Sayles
For information contact
giniesayles.com
 This Digital Edition is by
GeMar Publications
United States Of America
Dedication

I dedicate this book to

you, my readers, to my
seminar students
and private Consultees—
each of you has been a special
inspiration to me. I do not
forget you, ever—and your
happiness is mine, as well.
Acknowledgements

Thank you to God and to

my devoted husband, Reed
Sayles. Also, thank you to the
Rich Men who shared
themselves so openly with me,
now in this book.
Contents

Introduction – How This Book And

Seminar Began
Chapter 1 Tycoons In The
Bedroom™
Chapter 2 Romantic Rich
Sex® Style
Chapter 3 Straight-Forward
Rich Sex® Style
Chapter 4 Traditionalist Rich
Sex® Style
Chapter 5 Challenge-Seeking
Rich Sex® Style
Chapter 6 Over-Achieving
Rich Sex® Style
Chapter 7 Martyr Rich Sex®
Style
Chapter 8 Rich Sex®
Courtship & Engagements
Chapter 9 Rich Sex® Pre &
Post Nuptial Agreements
Chapter 10 Wifestyles Of The
Rich & Famous™
Chapter 11 Rich Sex® And
Courtesans
Chapter 12 Rich Sex® And
Mistresses
Chapter 13 Rich Sex® And
Living Together
Chapter 14 Rich Sex® And
His Ex
Chapter 15 Is Rich Sex®
Right For You?
Chapter 16 Rich Sex® On The
Go
Chapter 17 Rich Sex® And
The Happiness Factor
How This Book And
Seminar Began

For twenty years I gave Private

Consultations to Rich clients about
business and relationships. My Rich
Clients of both sexes were noted
physicians—including three
neurosurgeons, lawyers, a Harvard
professor, several psychologists, CPAs,
self-made millionaires, a number of
Rich heirs—and one was a newspaper
heir.
The list includes a former
senator, a Grammy Award winner and a
very, very famous television
personality. I even had a client who was
tangled in a nasty scandal that blazed
across headlines.
I have had a large number of
Rich men—both single and married
—who wanted to express their unique
points of view, as well as their feelings
—and they freely admitted the ways that
their sex lives were influenced by
money.
I noticed certain themes emerge
again and again in six specific sexual
natures. There are distinct ways that
money affects a Rich Man’s sexuality—
and although money is not everything in
a person’s sex life; there are surprisingly
positive effects money can have on sex
and some negative effects, too. And with
a Rich Man, money definitely influences
his sex life and relationships in many
ways.
Best of all, I realized how all
people can learn from this ‘wealth’ of
new information and make their own sex
lives richer—whatever their net worth.
After all, learning - or education – is the
key to a Richer sex life; so, I decided to
share what I had learned about the
sexual dynamics of money™ and let
each person glean insights from it that
may help them feel more confident in sex
and love.
And because women continually
asked me about their sexual
relationships with men who had money
and because they often felt conflicted or
insecure about sex and love with a Rich
Man; I began giving seminars on Rich
Sex® and the information you receive in
this book contains the same valuable
information provided in my seminar
materials.
I gladly share it with you now—
for your very own RichSex® life!

-
Ginie
Chapter 1

Tycoons In The
Bedroom™
The quality of sensual
experience
can be enhanced by money—
Ginie Sayles

Does money affect a person’s sex

life? You bet it does—and on many
subtle levels. It is no secret that stress
over finances can slow down the libido;
and the reverse is equally as true—a
flowing abundance of wealth can
liberate sexual
expression.

I have found that Rich Men—

which I refer to as “RMs” throughout the
book — are individuals who seem more
highly sexed for two distinct reasons:

1. Money allows them

to invest in their sex lives to create the
quality of sensual
experience they desire.
2. Money affects the
psyche of the Rich with a permission-
level we refer to as
 entitlement.

It is this combination of
investing and entitlement that creates
Rich Sex®.

Quality Of Sensual
Experience
The quality of sensual
experience is enhanced by money.
Money allows the Rich to personalize
their sex lives to their individual styles.
Money creates the texture of a sex life in
the setting, romance and partners. And,
let’s face it; money can be an enticement
to participants for gamier sex.
Since the Rich experience a
lifestyle the ordinary John Doe cannot
have; they want to believe they
experience a sex life in ways the
ordinary John Doe cannot experience.
The idea that their gardener,
butler, or chauffeur has the same or
better quality of sex life they experience
can be irksome. They want sex to be
“more”—to be special or different from
what other people have. They expect to
experience better—and this may be why
some RMs spend money for exotic sex
acts—to try to outdo the average sex life
of the average person.
Self-Made Tycoons And Sex
There are, however, differences
between Self-Made RMs and Heirs in
the bedroom.
Whereas Heirs feel a superior
sex life is their birthright as much as
their money is; self-made RMs carry a
performance yardstick into bed with
them. Their drive for achievement and
their sex drive are intertwined. If they
suffer financial failure or loss, they often
do not feel “entitled” to sexual
fulfillment—they feel they do not
deserve it because they have not
‘earned’ it.
Once they achieve the financial
orgasm of success, these entrepreneurs
feel deserving or ‘entitled’ and give
themselves permission to fully enjoy sex
again; and they may have a hey-day,
making up for lost time.
But even when times are good,
self-made RMs are so used to
performing competitively on the job and
having a monetary yardstick to show for
it that they do not always know how to
measure their performance in bed.
Always, in their minds, the competition
may be ahead of them.

Six Performance Styles Of

Rich Sex®
 Most of the Rich—especially
heirs—have a sophisticated view of sex,
which means they view it with broad
tolerance and a touch of humor.
However, because their identities are so
closely linked to the effect of money on
their lives and how they made it; the
Rich tend to experience sex in specific
patterns or styles.
There are six Rich Sex® styles
and each is distinctive in the way it uses
money and entitlement in relationships
or just plain fooling around. The six
Rich Sex® styles——in random order
are:
—Romantic
—Straight-forward
—Traditionalist
 —Challenge-Seeking
—Over-Achieving
—Martyr

Every pattern has its up-side and

its down-side. Do not seize on the
down-side and dismiss the positive
aspects of each style. There are always
mitigating factors with each individual
that can offset down-sides.
You can learn a lot from each
Rich Sex® style – and incorporate
elements you like to make your own sex
life richer!
Chapter 2

Rich
Sex® Style
—Romantic
“Sex is Intimate Art”
for the Romantic Rich Sex®
style
 A woman may have sex
with a man she does not care
for; but
she has a hard time kissing
him—Ginie Sayles

Sex is lushly romantic with this

RM. He enjoys sex most when
everything is ‘right’—time, place, mood,
and most of all, the ‘right’ woman…for
the moment.
Because the art of lovemaking is
what sex is all about to the Romantic
Rich Sex® style; it is choreographed—
from start to finish—to heighten the
senses and prolong pleasure.
Even as a young man, the
Romantic viewed sex with an artistic
eye of fascination and romantic emotion.
Enchanted by the female body and its
range of responsiveness, he developed
early into a sensitive and intuitive lover.
But a Romantic Rich Sex® style
really hits his stride as a sexual artist
after age thirty-five and certainly by
forty, when his personal confidence
through years of experience with a
variety of women comes to the fore. The
peak of his sexual artistry lasts through
his forties, fifties and sixties – and even
if his sex drive is eventually affected by
age, he will always consider sex the
romantic charm of life itself.
 Whether he is an heir or a self-
made mogul, a Romantic Rich Sex®
style is an elegant man who moves in
power circles of business, politics, and
socially.
Fastidious in grooming, his
clothing—business suits and casual
attire alike—are mostly tailor-made. If
he wears a fragrance—and he probably
will—he is likely to wear a light men’s
cologne, often a classic, such as
Imperiale by Guerlain.
This discriminating RM lives,
works, and travels in surroundings that
are first class in every way; and he is
uncomfortable in Bohemian settings.
For him, sex has the finest
quality if it takes place in beautiful
surroundings; follows a sensual
procedure of enjoying a woman’s body;
and concludes with affectionate
afterglow as an emotional reward to a
woman for her participation.
His style of lovemaking follows
seven romantic steps of seduction.

Seven Steps To Romantic

Rich Sex®

Just as he would no more enter a

board meeting without doing his
homework on a business matter; he
enters the bedroom with the same
preparation. Indeed, this man knows
exactly what he is doing when it comes
to sex.
He treats your entire body as a
sex organ, which makes every part of
you feel special and responsive. But he
also knows there are specific points of
eroticism that elicit faster arousal—and
he uses them as a roadmap for each step
of seduction—beginning with the
erogenous zone of your mind.
In truth, the entire seduction
process for a Romantic is psychological,
earmarked with expert skill and gentle
touch.

Step 1: Psychological Foreplay

 If you are the object of his
desire, a Romantic Rich Sex® style
saturates you with romance to build
a
mental attitude of anticipation
—or psychological foreplay
You receive enormous bouquets
of flowers at work—maybe two or three
days in a row—to delight your
ego before he even telephones to invite
you to dinner.
And when he does call, he may
be at the office but he will not have a
business tone. Instead, his voice will be
low and intimate as he invites you to an
art event followed by dinner at his
place, prepared by his own chef. When
you say yes, he asks your preference for
types of cuisine—French, Japanese, or
Italian are the usual offerings.
At the appointed time, he picks
you up or sends a car for you and the
moment he sees you, his eyes fill with
pleasure and he compliments the way
you look. This is more psychological
foreplay; because he knows that a
woman who feels good about
the way she looks is a better
lover.
Your evening begins with an
event—such as a private art show or
closed auction—that allows the two of
you to mill through the gallery, together,
exchanging views on the art while being
served hors d’oeuvres and champagne
by waiters.
Afterward, he takes you to his
elegant living quarters—which can
range from a rather large estate to a
penthouse.
From the moment you step
inside, you are enveloped in romantic
opulence. Expensive vases overflowing
with fresh flowers, antique furnishings,
silk wallpaper and prized art fill rooms
that are steeped in soft light and gentle
strains of music.
You have entered his world—a
world of unlimited luxury and
it all centers around you
tonight.
You are served a single cocktail
before dinner. Only one cocktail at this
point because he wants you relaxed, not
intoxicated. As you sip your cocktail, he
keeps conversation light and entertaining
to help you relax into the evening.
When you are seated for dinner,
you have a view of the lighted landscape
of the grounds of his estate; or a view of
city lights if you are in a penthouse.
The table is formally set with
white linens, gold-etched china and
crystal wine glasses, a centerpiece of
red roses in a silver vase and tall silver
candlesticks with tapering white candles
that flicker softly.
Dinner itself—while superb—is
not more than five light and delicious
courses because a Romantic does not
want your senses dulled by a heavy
meal.
Throughout dinner, this Rich man
is fully present, listening to and seeming
to approve every word you speak—
while maneuvering conversation to be
sure it stays on pleasant topics. His eye
contact seldom wavers and never drifts
off in thought about something else. He
focuses on you and you alone.
After dinner, he offers you a rare
and delicious liqueur and sitting closely
beside you, he presents a small gift—
anything from a bottle of very fine
perfume to a tasteful piece of jewelry.
You exclaim your surprise and
delight with the lovely gift, and by now,
you are psychologically steeped in the
romantic flavors of sensuality. You are
receptive to his second step of
introducing his touch more intimately to
your body.

Step 2: Hair, Face, Eye Contact and

Lips.

A Romantic Rich Sex® style

always begins sex by touching your hair,
your face, looking into your eyes and
kissing your lips. Always.
With his arm wrapped around
your shoulders, he casually strokes the
back of you hair while you are talking.
If you wear a fairly simple
updo, he may ask if you mind if he
removes a few hairpins, or ask you to do
it—or he may simply remove them if he
senses you will not object.
Then, he lightly runs his
fingertips through your hair on your
scalp, which is an electrically-charged
pleasure base. He repeats this motion so
subtly that it merges naturally into the
moment.
This small, casual pleasure does
not intrude on the moment; but adds a
measure of closeness that is easy to
accept as introductory touching.
After caressing your hair, he
focuses on your face; because an RM
with this sex style knows that your face
is the most romantic part of your body.
Then with the back of his hand, he lightly
strokes your cheek, followed by trailing
one fingertip ever so lightly in the area
near and around your mouth...and finally
kissing you.

Romantic Kisses
This is one man who would
never be so crass as to touch you
intimately—your breasts, say—without
first touching your face and kissing you.
He may even hold your face tenderly
between both hands and look into your
eyes before kissing your lips
Kissing expresses your level of
desire; and kissing is part of the romance
that makes you feels valued, wanted, and
even loved.
My research shows that a
woman can have sex with a man she
does not care for; but she has a hard time
kissing him. Your mouth is your most
intimate organ—not your clitoris, not
your vagina, not your breasts.
There are many styles of kissing;
but the two preferred by the Romantic
Rich Sex® style are the Intimate Kiss
and the French Kiss:

Intimate Kiss The Intimate

Kiss is kissing with the inside of
the lips. It is soft and warm if done
correctly. If poorly done, it is
repugnant with too much saliva. But
properly kissed this way by a Romantic
Rich Sex® style, it is the most intimate
and sensuous kiss of all.

French kiss. The second

type of kiss you will receive from a
Romantic Rich Sex® style is the French
Kiss. With both your lips parted, he
moves his tongue gently inside your
mouth, tracing the sensitive inner lining
of your lips and pulling your tongue into
his mouth.
To this man, the Intimate Kiss
and the French Kiss differentiate the
kisses of lovers from those you give to
family and friends.
Between kisses, he also kisses
your eyelids, nuzzles his nose in your
hairline with his warm breath and kisses
your cheek and lips again.

Step 3: Sensuous Slow

Dancing.
A Romantic knows the power of
an embrace—the power of folding a
woman into his arms and drawing her
tightly to his body—before proceeding
further in seduction.
Since dancing is an embrace that
provides him perfect access to your
ears, neck, shoulders, throat, and lips, he
strategically breaks the moment and
gently asks you to dance.
The background music— soft,
dreamy strings or a moody saxophone—
is good for slow dancing—and since
dancing is a sexual metaphor, it
synchronizes your physical movements
to each other
Too, he wants you to feel there is
no rush into sex itself—that he enjoys
you this evening, not just sex…although
that is certainly his intent.
While dancing and kissing you,
he begins to slide his open hands over
you, gradually taking liberties with your
body, until, in mounting desire, you
impatiently undress each other as you
move into his bedroom. At this point,
the physical skill of a Romantic Rich
Sex® style emerges.
 Step 4: Foreplay Of 20
Minutes or More
A Romantic Rich Sex® style
considers foreplay a delicious part of
sex itself and it lasts no shorter than
fifteen or twenty minutes, unless you are
more quickly aroused.
Full foreplay begins when you
are in his bed, where he will repeat
many of his kisses on your face and body
while closely gauging your passion.
He knows when you succumb to
sensual emotion you will close your
eyes—and as desire intensifies, your
eyes only slightly open or roll
unseeingly upward before closing.
 Step 5: Emotional
Lovemaking
Throughout lovemaking, he adds
tender emotion to every touch. A
Romantic knows that emotion makes the
difference in the quality of a sex act—
that a fervent kiss can melt a woman; and
emotional intensity makes his embrace
warm and meaningful. He believes that
without emotion, movements have no
romance.

Step 6: Timing And

Variety
The Romantic Rich Sex® style
will not enter until you are ready—and
he patiently woos your body until you
are. Then he introduces several sexual
poses to add delight and even whimsy.
This sexual gourmet likes a
variety of positions—and believes that
any sexual position is acceptable if it is
done ‘right’—which means with proper
timing and enveloped in romance. His
timing is excellent for providing you
with satisfaction and then following with
his own.

Step 7. Rewards your

participation with a warm
afterglow
 Whether or not he truly feels
affection for you, he is a thoughtful and
classy man, who will reward your
sexual participation with affectionate
afterglow, even if he cools rapidly after
orgasm.
Once again, he embraces you. An
embrace is a psychological powerhouse
for concluding sex. You feel as if you
have done the right thing. You feel
wonderful. You feel perfect…and that is
his intimate artistry. If you feel
wonderful, his mastery is intact: he has
succeeded.
The sensuality of a Romantic
Rich Sex® style can take your breath
away because he seduces you entirely—
using all your senses. Make no mistake
—you are Cinderella luxuriating in the
lavish attention of a Prince—even if it is
just for one glorious night of romance.
And, indeed, romance is the life’s blood
of this man’s sexual nature.

Preferred Partners

A Romantic Rich Sex® style is

attracted to a woman with feminine
allure. A woman may not be beautiful in
the strictest definition of the word; but
she has a classy look and a sense of
elegance in her style of clothing—not
preppy, not overtly sexy—nothing too
tight, nothing too clingy, and nothing too
revealing.
More than any other man, he
likes lace and soft floral based perfume
on a woman. He likes good fabrics—and
he is delighted by sheer or silk under
things.
He likes a woman’s hair just-
above shoulder-length and worn in soft
styles – never in a messy style. He also
favors loose curls to straight. And he
likes a woman’s long hair worn up.
If he thinks a woman has
potential but that she is limited by money
or knowledge of better things; he will
introduce her to them.
The age of a woman is not as
important to him as her sensuous
elegance. Typically, he likes women
within ten years of his age—and if she is
especially sensuous and stylish, she can
be older.
I knew a woman who was
adored by a fifty year old Romantic Rich
Sex® style and she was ten years older
than he. She was a feminine woman
whose soft glamour bubbled with quiet
optimism and engaging charm.
Whatever her age, a woman who
attracts this man takes care of herself,
keeps her figure trim, and dresses in
classic, feminine styles.
She does not have to be weak in
mind, words, or personality, just
romantically soft.
The French saying “vive la
difference” that celebrates the
differences between men and women
was probably first spoken by a
Frenchman with this Rich Sex® style.

How Money Influences A

Romantic Rich Sex® Style

Money sets the mood of

unlimited luxury, unlimited pleasure. It
also provides first class settings,
sumptuous surroundings, and lavish gifts
of romance. However, I am often asked
what are negative and positive traits that
emerge as money influences each style.
Negative Traits Of This Style
I cannot think of a single one;
however, if you fall in love with him and
it does not work out; you may have
difficulty finding another man who
makes you feel as special as he does.
But, if that is his strongest negative trait,
consider him worth it!

Positive Traits Of This Style

He is sentimental about
everything, literally everything. From the
day you met and the music that was
playing to what you were wearing…it is
all meaningful sentiment to this man.
 He knows the color of your eyes
and your favorite flowers, favorite food
and music. He never forgets your
birthday, or Valentine’s Day, or the
anniversary of the day you met—or your
wedding anniversary if he marries you.
It is easy to see why women are so crazy
about this man.
And of course, sex with him is as
romantic as it gets. He is a magnificent
lover.
Chapter 3

Rich
Sex® Style
—Straight-
Forward
“Sex is Body Hunger”
for the Straight-Forward Rich
Sex® style
 He wants his women
available. If you play hard-to-
get with this man,
he loses interest. He wants a
relationship, not a game.
—Ginie Sayles

My Way is the theme song for

the Straight-Forward Rich Sex® style.
This dynamic RM wants sex when he
wants it, where he wants it and how
he wants it. He wants sex ‘his way,’
period. He names the time, place, and…
position.
 Usually a self-made man—and
often the profile of celebrities who have
pulled themselves up by the bootstrap—
this profile does show up from time to
time in high-energy heirs who are so
busy they try to surround themselves
with “Yes-people” they can count on—
both in business and in relationships…
and for sex.
A mover and shaker, the Straight-
Forward RM works hard and plays hard
—but he usually works harder than he
plays.
For that reason, he often calls at
the last minute with spur-of-the moment
plans. And this RM wants his women
available. If you play hard-to-get, he
loses interest. He wants a relationship,
not a game.
Consequently, if you hesitate, he
will call other women until he finds one
who can go out with him that night. And
here is the kicker with this man. If he has
a good time with her, he won’t call you
back. A relationship with a Straight-
Forward Rich Sex® style is based on
your availability at the time of his
interest, period.

He typically expects sex on the

first date. If this is your first date with
him and you play coy because you think
you should, he will probably not ask you
out again. Coy means no sex and he will
surmise you are frigid—no matter how
much you may protest that you are
simply being moral, he will not believe
it.
One such RM said to a woman,
“I may love you or I may never love you;
but I will never know until we have
sex.”
However, the Straight-Forward
Rich Sex® style is a bit phobic and
paranoid; so if you do not want to have
sex with him yet, you can use his phobic
nature to your advantage and seem
concerned about sexually transmitted
diseases.

The ego of a Straightforward

dictates that he dress well and
expensively and if he wears a fragrance
it is likely to be an aftershave with a
musky scent.
He also likes comfortable
clothes and when he is not at his office,
he dresses casually—anything from
sweat pants and a tee shirt with
moccasins to jeans, tee shirt, and
sneakers.
Whereas he likes first class
travel and amenities, and five star
restaurants; he also likes to relax at his
sprawling Montana ranch with he
designed himself to have a rustic
Western look and filled with Native
American art. Here he rides the range,
cooks barbeque, himself, for friends.
He likes to hunt, fish and watch
football. Your Straight-Forward man
may own a football team. If not, he
certainly owns a box at the stadium of
his favorite team and fills it with friends
for a game party while watching the
team play a particular opponent.
A down-to-earth man, a Straight-
Forward likes everything to be ‘real’
and that includes his sex life.
He has a very simple logic: If he
is attracted to a woman, he wants to
have sex with her; and if sex is good
together, he feels a bond and develops a
relationship with her.
He is not interested in fancy—
just good—and available. Good sex for
the Straight-Forward has only four
simple steps.
 Four Simple Steps Of
Straight-Forward Rich Sex®

If you accept his spur-of-the-

moment invitation, the date will be nice,
if not prosaic. Dinner and not a lot more.
No additional activities and no gifts; just
dinner, drinks, and sex.
If this is your first date with him,
he will quiz you about other
relationships over dinner—and trust his
own judgment as to your risk. If he
believes you are not a risk, he proceeds
to initiate sex with you.

Step 1: Lips, Tits, and

 Poon
After dinner at an upscale
restaurant, he will take you to his house
for two or three drinks while you listen
to him talk about his business concerns
or his horses or some other topic that
interests him.
And then…he kisses you. He is
usually good at kissing, mostly utilizing
a French Kiss. He tightens his arms
around you and his hands begin rubbing
up and down your back or arms.
As soon as his first kiss ends, he
kisses you again. During the second kiss,
he will either put one hand directly on
your breast or he will put one hand on
your knee, slowly inching up your thigh.
 If you resist, he will stop and
offer you another drink, and talk for a
few minutes. Then he will kiss you again
—and again he will touch your breast or
your knee.
If there is no resistance, he will
feel of your breast for a minute and then
put his hand inside your blouse and bra.
If his hand is on your knee, he begins
sliding his hand up your inner thigh.
This activity will be part of his
kissing for the next several minutes until
he says in his straight-forward way,
“Let’s go to the bedroom.”

Step 2: Brief Foreplay

—Five Minutes…more if you
are lucky!
Typically foreplay will be more
of the same type of petting that occurred
on his sofa –kissing and feeling your
breasts and manual stimulation. He may
even perform an exchange of oral sex
with you.
On the other hand, a Straight-
Forward may not care that much about
oral sex. He may view it only as a way
of providing lubrication if you are not
moist enough—and with such brief
foreplay, you may not be moist enough!
However, if you are crazy about
this man and turned on by his dynamic
presence –– then it may not take much
more than his nearness to excite you to
the point of readiness.
Not only that but some women
find foreplay tedious and they are ready
for intercourse after a few hot kisses and
petting. These women feel the same way
the Straight-Forward does about sex and
are perfect partners for him, when they
find each other.
So there will be some foreplay,
but not much. His focus is on the main
event—the sex act—and he views
foreplay as a brief ‘warming up’ session,
not as sensual pleasure all its own.

Step 2: Intercourse And

Positions
 The Straight-Forward RM is
fairly set in his ways. He will try
variations sometimes; but basically, he
is a meat and potatoes sex style. If he
loves a woman and she wants to be on
top, he will allow it from time to time;
but it is not his favorite position because
he is not in control—and control is what
the Straightforward RM is all about in
every aspect of his life.
Typically, he has two favorite
positions that keep him in control:

—Reclined Side-Saddle

Lying on your back in his arms,

he will lie on his side facing you, and
pull both your legs over his—as if you
are sitting on his lap, side-ways, but
lying down. He will then enter you and
he does all the moving. This position
also enables him to feel your breasts
with one hand. For many women, it can
be very restful as well as pleasurable.

—Man-On-Top Position

No two ways about it, the

Straight-Forward Rich Sex® style
prefers the position of Man-On-Top. It
provides him the fastest rhythm and the
most control of his own pleasure.
Another advantage to this
position for the Straight-Forward RM is
that he likes to feel your breasts pressed
into his chest the entire time. And it
enables passionate kissing throughout the
sex act.

Step 4: Orgasm And A

Cigarette
Whereas his ego likes to think
that you attain gratification during sex
with him; the Straight-forward does not
really have the patience or interest to
coax you along.
Oh, he may pace himself a little
at first; but it will be short-lived once
his excitement is in full-flow. At that
point, you are on your own to make it to
the finish line by the time he does—
because when he is finished, he is
finished.
If your sex drive matches his,
you finish just before or when he does,
which is fine.
But if not, you either learn to
pace yourself into a quick orgasm—or,
heck, just go ahead and fake it for the
sake of his ego. And do feel free to fake
orgasms with him because he will never
know the difference. His ego will
believe it.
Afterward, the Straight-Forward
Rich Sex® style may extend a few
courtesies of lingering activity for a
minute; but by and large, he loses
interest in prolonging the performance.
The fact that you may later
experience frustration and a few bouts of
self doubt with your sexual self-esteem
never enters his mind. This is simply the
way he experiences sex...his way.

Afterglow, like the sex act, is

shorter for him than for you. More
realistically, afterglow to him may mean
a cigarette or a drink while getting
dressed—or—sorry, but afterglow to
him may mean snuggling up and going to
sleep!

Preferred Partners
 Glamorous women are his turn-
on. If a woman is not pretty in the
traditional sense; he will think she is if
she has the trappings of glamour—full,
collar-length to shoulder-length hair,
shapely figure, stylish clothing that sets
off her great legs or gives a slight
glimpse of cleavage. He wants her to
look glamorous but not trashy. She may
be a model; but if not, she could pass for
one.
Whereas he wants his women
available and loyal; he does not like
women to be more aggressive than he is.
He wants to do most of the doing in a
relationship. He wants to be dominant.
He likes his women younger than
he is, favoring a ten to fifteen year
difference or more. If he has been
married before and has daughters, he is
more likely to stay away from serious
relationships with women who are close
in age to his daughters, but there are, of
course, some exceptions.

How Money Influences This

Style
Money gives this sex style the
power to be less negotiating and more
demanding when it comes to the time and
place to have sex. He has a business
mentality about relationships. If he
spends money on you, he keeps a mental
tally and expects it to pay off.
 Negatives Of This Style
He is controlling by nature. It is
part of his financial success mechanism
and it carries over into all aspects of his
life.
Another negative is that if he
happens to hook up with a woman who
wants sex more than he does, he may
respond well for awhile; but eventually,
he will deny sex to her, insulting her
with an open lack of interest when she
indicates she wants it; or by
conveniently ‘developing’ erectile
dysfunction.
Whereas many men actually
suffer erectile dysfunction for a variety
of reasons—make no mistake that in the
case of the Straight-Forward Rich Sex®
style it is a way of maintaining control
over his sex partner—negative control.

Positives Of This Style

For the most part, he is loyal.
That is because the Straight-Forward
Rich Sex® style prefers predictable sex
within the context of a serious and
committed relationship—which assures
its availability.
Predictable sex makes him feel
secure. There are many married men
with this Rich Sex® style who actually
cannot perform with a woman who is not
their wife. Their bodies literally will not
allow it: they simply cannot have an
erection with someone else.
If he finds a woman whose
sexual nature is fulfilled by his and if
she is flattered by his intensity and
possessiveness, it can be a very happy
relationship, fulfilling both their inner
hungers.
Women who do not share his
sexual nature may have to compensate in
some other way—perhaps a credit card?
Chapter 4

Rich Sex®
Style–Traditionalist
“Sex is Ultimate
Compatibility”
for the Traditionalist Rich
Sex® style

A Traditionalist believes sex

 should occur only when
it seems natural to both of
you.—Ginie Sayles

A Traditionalist does not think in

terms of seduction, only of
consummating a good relationship.
Basically, he believes that sex should
occur only when it seems natural to both
of you. For him, sex is the natural result
of ultimate compatibility between two
highly compatible people. At no time do
you feel an obligation to have sex with
him; and he never feels that you have a
sexual obligation to him.
A Traditionalist is most likely an
old money heir with an impressive
pedigree and tons of family tradition.
Both intellectual and athletic, he grew up
in country club life, attended private
schools, enjoyed crew as team sport,
and expects to take his father’s place in
business.
He is a man who knows how to
dress up and how to dress down. He is
equally as comfortable at a white tie ball
as he is in gym shorts shooting baskets.
He knows when to wear a dark blue suit
and when to wear a blazer and jeans.
And when he wears a fragrance, it is a
classic such as Bay Rum.
Most of his sexual alliances
developed over time with girls who
went to school with him or golfed at the
same country club or sat next to him at a
chamber orchestra, attentively following
the score, or who worked with him on a
political campaign. In any case, it was
only after he got to know a girl well
enough to be attracted that a sexual
relationship evolved.
If you are the woman in his life,
you may have been introduced to him by
friends whose parents went to the same
Ivy League school with his parents.
Perhaps your parents have
matching credentials, even though you
are from another part of the country or
from another country altogether. If your
own family is not of high social or
financial standing, you may be the niece
of a respected peer of theirs.
 But if you have none of the above
going for you; then you have impressed
them with your academic and career
achievements or your personal style and
values that blend nicely with theirs.
In any event, it is quite a coup to
be invited to dinner to meet him because
you have already passed muster with the
Old Guard.
You arrive on time and are
pleased when you are introduced to each
other. He is better than you hoped. Polite
and well-bred, he makes the evening
easy for you. By the time after-dinner
drinks are served, the hosts are pleased
by the fine behavior of you both.
At the end of the evening, he
walks you to your car when it is brought
around and asks you to meet him for
drinks the next week.
You do and it turns out to be an
exhilarating exchange of political views
or debating favorite Greek philosophers
or discussing the latest bestselling book.
By the end of such a mentally
stimulating evening, he knows he wants
to see you again; and from this moment
on, a Traditionalist Rich Sex® style
automatically follows six steps to
consummate this new relationship.

Six Steps Of
Consummation For
Traditionalist Rich Sex®
 Just as he would never push and
shove to get ahead in a line of people;
the Traditionalist Rich Sex® style will
never pressure you to have sex.
Otherwise, it is not consummation. He
is definitely a man who knows that ‘no’
means no and he respects it. Instead, he
trusts nature to take its course.

Step 1: Let The Laws

Of Compatibility Create
Attraction
He takes the next step to allow
that to happen: he invites you to the
theater for the upcoming week, followed
by dinner in an offbeat neighborhood
where counterculture poets read aloud
and songwriters’ serenade—all fodder
to the thought-provoking conversations
you enjoy together whether or not you
agree with the poets or songs.
After several dates with varying
activities– from a sack lunch in a
downtown park during a work day to a
Saturday antique car show to Friday
night billiards or a formal dinner—
always concluding with a respectful
good-night kiss, he then invites you for a
week-end of skiing in the mountains of a
neighboring state.
He reserved your own room, of
course, in the quiet and rustic ski lodge
that is nevertheless very expensive and
whose guest list could rival the White
House.
And it is during this week-end, in
a moment when you are fresh from an
invigorating race down hill, your cheeks
bright red, your eyes shining, that he
really kisses you with desire for the first
time and you fully reciprocate.
By the close of the week-end,
you consummate your new relationship
together—because that is exactly what
sex is with the Traditionalist Rich Sex®
style—consummation not seduction.

Step 2: He Makes Love

To The Whole Woman
 A Traditionalist favors the
Intimate kiss and uses it almost
exclusively when kissing your lips.
Nothing in his lovemaking is contrived
but flows naturally out of his feelings for
you. Such thorough love-making takes
time, which provides a lengthy foreplay
before intercourse.
Foreplay is characterized by
stroking his hands over every part of
your body with long sweeps that are
erotic in their gentleness while he kisses
you.
Whereas foreplay is tender;
intercourse is vigorous with a
Traditionalist Rich Sex® style; and he
prefers an upright position – either
standing or sitting.
 Step 4: Incorporate Sex
Into Average Activities
The Traditionalist likes sex early
in the morning once or twice a week on
weekdays—either in bed or in the
shower. He has such an intense business
schedule and works extremely hard all
day long so that he is not as enthusiastic
about sex after a demanding day at work.
On week-ends he is an
outdoorsman and enjoys sex outdoors.
This can become rather inventive and
you will find yourselves laughing
together at a failed attempt to have sex
on the secluded area of a mountain while
wearing heavy climbing gear and trying
to work around it. It will be fun but so
difficult to do it will be funny.
You will probably have sex
underwater when you go sailing. Once in
the water, he will have you hold onto the
side of the sailboat while he enters from
behind.
Certainly, camping out and hiking
will provide rough, if not interesting
moments when this natural urge to merge
overtakes both of you for a mid-day
encounter. And he will certainly make
love to you in a sleeping bag under the
stars on a romantic moonlit night.
Sex is creative fun in this happy,
compatible relationship. None of it feels
unnatural or awkward—just exhilarating
and exciting.
Open-minded, he is willing to
experiment, sexually—within bounds
and only with his primary partner. For
example, if an unusual practice brings
pleasure to his partner, he is willing to
comply as long as it is between the two
of them.
As a man of traditional values,
he is not willing to engage in a ménage-
a-trois or to participate in group sex
although he may enjoy a brief fantasy
about it as much as the next man.
Simply enough, the Traditionalist
Rich Sex® style views conventional
values as the bedrock of society. He sees
himself as a member of that bedrock to
perpetuate a healthy society.
 Whether right or wrong, the
Traditionalist Rich Sex® style reasons
that history has proven the downfall of a
nation is directly a by-product of moral
degeneration—and he intends to uphold
his part.

Step 6: Afterglow
This man enjoys afterglow as
much as you do. He already felt close to
you before sex, and he feels an even
greater closeness with you afterward. If
it is a relaxed situation with no pressure,
he will hold you in his arms, lightly kiss
your forehead, stroke your hair, and talk
companionably for quite awhile.
However, since he likes sex in
the mornings before going to work, you
may have to settle for a loving hug,
sweet kisses, and an “I love you” before
he hops out of bed or out of the shower
to get dressed.

Preferred Partners
A Traditionalist is most attracted
to a preppy woman, complete with
headbands and predictable tweeds; and
whose background mirrors his with good
schools, good family, community-
involvement, same friends or similar
social circles.
If she does not have the same
family background, she almost certainly
has a similar educational background
and is a high achiever.
She is probably not beautiful in
the commercial sense; but wholesome, a
bit outdoorsy, wears no makeup—or
very little –and keeps her nails fairly
short and well cared for. She can be
reedy-thin with no breasts at all; or she
can be slightly muscular from sports.
Whatever his age, he prefers a
woman within three to five years of his
own age, whether she is older or
younger.

How Money Influences

This Style
Money is a social responsibility
and a family heritage to this man. As a
by-product of that belief-system, sex
must reflect his social responsibility and
family heritage.

Negative Traits Of This

Style
A Traditionalist Rich Sex® style
is easily lulled into complacency, and
you may get bored with no highs and no
lows in constant compatibility.
Too, his moral uprightness can
sometimes grate on your nerves.

Positive Traits Of This

Style
 He desires you—not the
commercial trappings of a the ideal
woman promoted by media of swimsuit
models or nude centerfolds. You may be
just as stunning as such models, but that
will not be his attraction. It will be to
the soul-to-soul compatibility of you
both.
He also has standards for his
responsibility in a sexual relationship.
He will telephone the next day, and
telephone every day for as long as the
relationship lasts. If he leaves the
relationship, he will try not to be a cad
about it. If he meets someone else he
wants, he will try to end the relationship
with you as graciously as possible.
Although it may not be possible for you
to accept it graciously, he will try to end
it that way.
Chapter 5

Rich Sex®
Style–Challenge-
Seeker
“Sex Is A Game”
For The Challenge-Seeking
Rich Sex® Style

Game terms define sex i.e.

 “Did you score?” because
Sex is only
ego gratification for the
Challenge-Seeker —Ginie
Sayles

He may look like your perfectly

suited executive in the latest style of
clothing and a variety of men’s cologne;
but behind his expensive horn-rimmed
spectacles gleams an eye of sexual
mischief—the naughtier the better—and
the more forbidden it is, the more
exhilarating.
His goal is to get you into bed;
and as long as you play hard-to-get, you
are cat-nip to this fat cat. The more you
resist, the better he likes it, because
when he seduces you, he has ‘won.’
Won what? The game of sex, of
course. He even uses game terms—such
as “I scored last night”—to describe his
conquests. True, there are some men
who are not Challenge-Seekers who may
occasionally use the term—but they
probably picked it up from a friend who
is.
The Challenge-Seeking RM is a
sexual gamesman. Like winning any
other game, the game of sex is ego
gratification, not hormonal gratification.
His ego is on the line to prove that he
can put something over on somebody and
that he is getting away with it.
If you are his female counterpart
who likes the game of sex as much as he
does, he is the ideal man. Sex can be a
lot of fun with him if you do not expect
it to be a precursor to love or marriage.
Yes, the Challenge-Seeking Rich
Sex® style can fall in love—and fall
hard—with a woman he will never fully
possess. Love is to be desired, never
attained. Frustration intensifies desire
and is part of the emotional range of this
man.
He will even marry a woman as
a strategy of conquest—and he will
adore her as long as there is something
about his wife he can not possess.
But even then, marriage becomes
a game, too. There may be secret lovers
for the Challenge-Seeking Rich mate—
but rarely a divorce because he is so
good at keeping it secret.
After all, it is the thrill of getting
away with it that flavors sex for him –
not sex itself, mind you, but the thrill of
getting away with it.

Moral Code
Although a Challenge-Seeking
Rich Sex® style may not have traditional
morality; the Challenge-Seeking man I
describe here does have a moral code
that he takes seriously.
For one thing—he does not
participate in cruel sex or molestations.
He wants the game of sex to be fun—and
he does not find cruelty or violating the
rights of others to be fun.
He poses the question, “How can
you win a game if you are not playing
with equals—with adults who have the
skills and sense to be worthy
opponents?”
And he enjoys nothing more than
a worthy opponent in the game of sex—
whether it is a person or a situation or a
naughty adult taboo.
For him, such worthy game
players follows three simple rules.

Three Rules For

Challenge-Seeking Rich
 Sex®

Rule 1: Taboo Is
Tantalizing.
Yes, he is absolutely game for
any of the following among consenting
adults:

Ménage-a-trois—Sometimes
this is an arrangement among friends; but
more often the Challenge-Seeking Rich
Sex® style will hire a third person—a
professional—to prevent any
competitive flare-ups between women
who may know each other.
 If it is the first time for one of the
women, he may have her observe and
participate whenever she feels ready.

And he may simply hire two call

girls to make up his ménage-a-trois.
Wherever he acquires his participants
for the occasion, the three of them will
create the mood by having a few drinks
while watching a DVD of a ménage-a-
trois. Watching the DVD, they follow
suit with typical “monkey see, monkey
do” behavior.

Group Sex—Consists of like-

minded individuals who may have met
via the internet or classified ads or in
clubs that are known for a sexually-
adventurous clientele. Those who have
attended tell me the party is held in an
elegant location – either a rented villa or
at the home of one of the participants.
Usually, the hosting location has a
private pool area.
Everyone arrives nicely dressed
for cocktails and dinner. There are
parties where clothes are checked at the
door and the evening proceeds with
cocktails and dinner in the buff – much
like a nudist colony.

But most sex parties begin the

evening with clothes on throughout
cocktails and dinner. After dinner there
will be swimming in the pool and little
by little the swimsuits come off until
every body there feels comfortable
enough to enjoy a nude swimming party.

In time, people begin having sex

–just as a couple—others in a threesome
—still others as a foursome.
It is considered okay to observe
people copulating; but you are expected
to participate with anyone who
approaches you during the party—which
means you may have sex with more than
one stranger or quasi-friend before you
leave.

Mate-Swapping—If his wife or

partner is as sexually adventurous as he
– and if she feels secure enough within
the relationship, they will form loose
attachments with other couples for the
purpose of having sex with each other’s
mates and then going back home as if
they simply went to a movie.

“Loose” attachments seem to be

the unspoken rule among participating
couples. This rule is to protect the
marriage or relationship of each couple.
They are looking for sexual adventure,
not for a new relationship; and they
know that too much familiarity could
create serious attractions, perhaps
falling in love and causing divorce.
Another rule among some
couples is that no one uses real names
and telephone numbers or email
addresses or anything personal are not
exchanged in order to protect all
involved.

Sex Clubs—Very expensive

private clubs in big cities may have
noon-day or late-day mating among
members. The sex clubs are posh and
provide condoms at every turn. The
membership procedure varies from club
to club. Sex club members are usually
required to use aliases in their
interaction with other members and do
not know the real name of the person
who is having sex with them.
Sometimes members arrive and
sit, theatre-style, watching live sex acts
being performed—perhaps a dominatrix
routine or a couple having sex to music.
Or members may simply mill about,
observing. Unlike sex parties,
participation is not required in Sex
Clubs. Some members just like to watch.

A Challenge-Seeking RM will
likely indulge in a dalliance with a sex
club member whose name is not known,
before returning to the office to resume
his busy day.

Rule 2: Exciting
Situational Sex
 A Challenge-Seeking RM likes
to make sex fun—which includes
spontaneous sex in unexpected places, or
being a little naughty by fooling around
on the side, or by barely escaping being
caught.
Risk adds exhilaration, so he
will conjure up situations that risk his
getting caught—having quick sex behind
an unlocked door that just anyone could
enter at any time; or inside the coat
closet at work when it is almost time for
people to gather their coats to leave; or
in the front seat of a car in the parking
lot near the entry during a busy hour as
cars arrive; or in a moving elevator; or
on a commercial airplane during flight;
or in a narrow hallway at a party—it all
adds spice and ups the ante for
excitement to this man.

Rule 3: He Places Bets

On Winning The Game
Just as a Challenge-Seeking RM
likes to bet on a horse at the race track,
or bet on the outcome of a football game
or a tennis match, he certainly places
bets with other men that he can get a
particular woman into bed within a
certain time period.
One Challenge-Seeking RM used
to look over a new woman, wink at his
compadres and say “It shouldn’t take
more than a couple of weeks to score.”
Once he takes the bet, he will
pursue the unsuspecting female—doing
whatever it takes to woo and charm her
into bed by the deadline agreed upon—
just so he can win the bet.
Of course, there is usually a
token of proof required—her silk thong
undies or a photograph taken during a
weekend at St. Bart’s.

Preferred Partners
Hard-to-Get is the keyword for
this man. ANY woman who plays hard-
to-get will do. This Rich man is not
looking for beauty—only for a contest.
Like most men, he looks twice at a
beautiful woman; but if she responds too
quickly and willingly to him, he loses
interest and will not pursue her.
However, a homely woman with a less-
than-perfect figure who resists him will
be hotly pursued. She is only his Flavor-
Of-The-Day as long as she plays
challenges him.

How Money Influences

This Style

Money allows this Rich Sex®

style to get away with a lot! When he
finds a woman who is hard-to-get, he
sets a strategy according to the type of
woman she is. And he pulls out all the
stops—and that is where his wealth
underwrites his games.
If she is a woman of limited
background or finances, he knows he can
wow her with his money, introducing her
to a lifestyle she has only dreamed of—
and making her feel like Cinderella
during his pursuit.
If she is a social blueblood he
invites her to events that are meaningful
to her—the opera ball, horse races at the
Derby in England, an auction that
benefits charity.
Limited background or
blueblood makes no difference to the
Challenge-Seeking Rich Sex® style. The
challenge is his incentive and winning is
all that matters. Money allows him to do
whatever is necessary to win the game
of sex.

Negatives of this Style

A woman will never be able to
fully relax into the relationship and just
let go and love him—or just let go and
‘be’. She can never fully reveal herself
as open and vulnerable.
A woman who wants ‘happily
ever after’ will bore a man of this ilk
and wanting it from him will only hurt
her.
 Positives of this Style
There are a number of women
who are just as turned on by challenge as
a man. I know several high drama ‘tug-
of-war’ marriages and relationships that
have endured for years and I am
impressed by their energy and stamina
for strenuous dramatics. But the “game”
is the energy of love for both sides.
Psychologists can click their
tongues and shake their heads all they
want—these couples live by the adage
‘you can’t knock happiness’ and many
stay married longer than their
psychologists do!
Chapter 6

Rich Sex® Style

—Over-Achiever
“Sex increases Productivity”
for the Over-Achiever Rich
Sex® Style

Vitamin “ S ” Sex is a daily

vitamin
for the Over-Achieving Rich
 Sex® style—Ginie Sayles

If sex is a little streamlined and

efficient with this Rich man, it is only
because it has to fit into a larger plan.
After all, “there is a place for everything
and everything should be in its place.”
Wearing expensive suits and
Hermes fragrance, he is a meticulous
businessman with good personal taste,
high business standards, and punctuality
at every turn.
Unlike others, who have sex
when the spirit moves them, this man
schedules it into his daily calendar,
along with everything else he does in his
busy days.
I emphasize daily calendar
because as each day progresses, stress
builds and blocks his productivity—
much like a log jam that blocks the flow
of a river. Sex breaks up the log jam of
stress and restores the flow of his
energy. After sex, this man has more
energy—not less, as with some men.
Therefore, the Over-Achieving
Rich Sex® man uses sex like a vitamin
to keep him productive. And he carefully
calculates the most efficient time of day
sex can serve his needs and makes sure
it is available.
The wife of an Over-Achieving
Rich Sex® style told me her husband
needs it around four o’clock every
afternoon and if he does not have it, he
perspires and eventually begins to
tremble until he attains sexual relief.
His wife shows up right on time
for a brief “afternoon tea” at his office
every afternoon after the market closes
and just before he goes to a late business
meeting.
Many RMs with this style prefer
having sex every day at noon because it
is the easiest time to get away; and
therefore the most efficient time for
them.
Others like to get the day going
with sex just before a morning shower.
Still others like ‘sleeping pill sex’ to be
sure they get a good night’s sleep and not
stay awake with worries of the day.
 Whether he is an heir or a self-
made man—and this profile can apply to
either—an Over-Achieving Rich Sex®
style literally needs his daily sex fix to
function most effectively.
The Over-Achieving RM does
not think in terms of seduction or
consummation with a woman, just her
cooperation with his three simple steps
for sufficient arousal.

Three Steps To Over-

Achiever’s Rich Sex®

Step 1: Brief Foreplay

 He is aroused by his own need
so he does not require much preliminary
stimulation. However, he takes
considerable comfort in touching your
body before sex. He begins with a
standing embrace—still fully dressed—
and just rubbing his hands up and down
your arms and pressing your body close
to him. This simple act is enough to
spark an erection in the Over-Achieving
RM, who primarily needs relief.
Kissing is not necessary but adds
a measure of comfort to his need and he
primarily engages the French Kiss.
 Step 2: Ready or Not…
After a few scant minutes of
rubbing his hands over your body, he is
ready to enter. If he is caught in the
throes of overwhelming sexual need, this
RM adopts whatever positions work at
the moment. At such times, sex with
clothes on is fine for him, just shifting
whatever garments need shifting in order
to make it possible.
If he normally does not have sex
at the office, but if you are there and he
has a sudden need for it; he may have
you sit on the edge of his desk for sex.
If the desk is a problem, he may
suggest you stand on two thick telephone
books for easier access. Or he may
prefer you kneel before him and satisfy
him purely through oral sex.
But it is more common for this
man to have a large sofa in his office that
is regularly used for sex.

Step 3: After Sex

He loves the flood of
pleasurable release you have given him
and he appreciates you for it. And if you
are romantically involved with him, he
will smother you with affectionate kisses
and squeezing hugs and financial
generosity. You have pleased him and he
wants to please you.
If he is not romantically involved
with you, he will express his pleasure
strictly with money, which keeps the
encounter a clearly defined and orderly
business transaction.
In either case, after sex, he helps
you smooth your clothes back into place
and checking you over, he sends you on
your way. All his refreshed energy is
now flowing into his work.

Preferred Partners
An Over-Achieving Rich Sex®
style is so finicky about his person that
he seeks a mirror image of himself in a
woman. Therefore, he is only attracted
to women who are immaculate
perfectionists, too – no chipped nail
polish, no bad hair days, no unsightly
weight gain, no mismatched clothing.
He does not care for voluptuous,
earthy women. Instead, he is most
attracted to elegant beauty in a stylish
woman. He likes hairstyles no longer
than medium length and the latest short
hairstyle is fine. He also likes a
woman’s hair worn up, even if the style
is somewhat severe.
For a serious relationship, a
woman must not only look well-cared –
for at all times; but she must also fit into
his overall life plan. He wants her to
know how to structure a social life that
enhances his career; and he will
structure finances to enhance her social
life. It is an effective exchange for an
orderly life.
He values a woman who really
likes sex and can match his frequency –
or who seems to really like sex and is
willing to comply with his frequency.

How Money Influences

This Style

Money and sex have a symbiotic

relationship with all Rich Sex® styles –
and certainly with the Over-Achiever
Rich Sex® style.
For the Over-Achieving RM, the
symbiosis is that sexual relief allows his
energy to surge into making money—and
likewise, making money allows him to
have sex when it best serves his needs.

Negatives of this Style

If a woman loves this man but
feels put upon by his sexual needs—she
may have to tolerate having daily sex
with him, like it or not. Otherwise, she
may as well look the other way, because
he will have other women or a mistress.
To him, it is not infidelity. It is a
necessity.

Positives of this Style

 A woman who needs sex as much
as an Over-Achieving Rich Sex® style
will think she has died and gone to
heaven when she finds him.
Having the same rhythm of desire
and need is the best of the best in a
relationship and keeping each other
sexually satisfied makes everything else
fall into place in life. When sex is good
for both—life is perfect for both.
Another plus about this style is
that he will never tire of having sex with
you or need variety. To him, sex is
defined by his need for consistent relief
and he needs nothing more in sex than
that.
Chapter 7

Rich Sex®
Style─Martyr
“Sex is Nurturing”
for the Martyr Rich Sex®
Style

A Martyr Rich
Sex ® Style rewards you so
well for your bad behavior;
 it is no wonder you do
not improve. But then, what is
a martyr for?
—Ginie Sayles

Sex is the healing balm for a

wounded soul to a Martyr Rich Sex®
style. You can be neurotic, depressed,
high-strung and temperamental, suicidal,
or even frigid. He takes on your
problems and attempts to solve them for
you.
And the more he has to do to
help you, the more involved with you he
becomes. This is true for almost all RMs
to some degree; but more so for the
Martyr RM.
He never likes you less because
of flaws; he likes you more ‘because of’
your flaws. It makes you interesting. He
will even ‘endure’ your cheating on him.
Whereas other Rich Sex® styles
cannot bear the affront to their egos if
you cheat on them; and they will leave
the relationship or retaliate—a Martyr
Rich Sex® style will make excuses
for your cheating behavior.
He will rationalize on your
behalf, saying that you are insecure or
need attention. He will even blame
himself—saying that something was
lacking in him that caused you to seek
other men—but he will never blame you.
He not only will defend you—he will
still want you back and he will not be
punitive about it.
You may have hurt him; but his
reasoning is that if he cannot feel pain
for you, how can he love you?
The Martyr lives to be needed.
Sacrifice is not a dirty word to this Rich
Sex® style; it is proof of his worth in
life. More than that, it is his very life’s
blood.
Nurturing sex with a Martyr Rich
Sex® style follows four caring steps.

Four Steps Of
Nurturing Sex
 Step 1: Bath, Kisses,
and Long Foreplay
Making love is almost
worshipful in the adoring behavior of the
Martyr Rich Sex® style. He kneels and
removes your shoes, possibly even
kissing your toes or rubbing them. He
gently undresses you, bathes you in the
tub—shampooing your hair with
sensuous strokes on your scalp,
caressing your body with soap and using
a variety of touches to vary the
sensations—and a Martyr Rich Sex®
style has a tender touch, anyway. After
rubbing you dry with a large terrycloth
bath sheet, he massages you with natural
oils.
 His favorite kiss is the Soul
Kiss. Sometimes mistakenly identified
as a French Kiss, the Soul Kiss is
nothing at all like the French Kiss. There
is no tongue play with a Soul Kiss.
The Soul Kiss is kissing with
artificial respiration—when you and
your mate alternate breathing for each
other while kissing. It requires a moment
of total surrender of one to the other.
From the soul kiss, his lips move
over your face, eyelids, and then your
entire body—kissing your fingertips and
toes, your armpits and navel, the entire
length of your spine and tailbone, the
crease of your buttocks and thigh—every
single inch that he can kiss, he does with
relish, as if to devour you.
 And these are not mere pecks—
these are open-mouthed, inside of the
lips kisses on your bare skin with long
sweeps of his tongue while his hands
caress you.

Step 2: Optional Games

—Spankings—Sex Toys
If you require ‘special aids’ to
rev up your libido, the Martyr Rich
Sex® style will enjoy them because you
do.
One RM with this profile fell for
a woman who had a “Masked Intruder”
fantasy. Obligingly, the Martyr RM wore
a lone-ranger mask, removed the screen
to her downstairs bedroom window
while she pretended to be asleep in the
dark, climbed in and scuffled with her—
as she had instructed—and finally bound
her and had sex with her—and she
absolutely loved it.
I often wondered what would
have happened if a neighbor had
reported seeing a man climb into her
window and the police arrived to find
the ‘robber’ was a rich and prominent
citizen.
But sex can also be a semi-
parenting arena for this style. A man may
become fatherly to a woman in bed or he
may take the role of son to a sexually
dynamic woman.
Even though the Martyr RM has
the money, a strong woman may play
‘Mama’ to him in bed—especially if he
is a much younger man. One such
gentleman in his early thirties used to
advertise for women in their fifties.
A woman who plays a ‘motherly’
role can excite a Martyr RM with
disciplinary behavior toward him—
scolding him or spanking him. A Martyr
Rich Sex® style can absolutely fall in
love with a Dominatrix—and follow her
around like a puppy.

Step 3: Positions
You name it, he is willing to
please. He enjoys whatever makes you
happy. If you orgasm more easily on top,
he will never tire of it. If you like
costumes or games, he will dress up and
chase you around the room.

Preferred Partners
Even though he likes “problem
women;” a Martyr does not like losers.
He likes problem women with complex
personal issues, true; and he likes
dominant problem women. After all, he
wants to be the victim, if there is one
Acting as a subservient lover to
a woman he is trying to please; or
playing the role of caretaker are the only
two ways a Martyr Rich Sex® Style can
really desire a woman. It is your
dominating spirit or your troubled soul
that thoroughly fascinates him.
Clearly, this man likes problem
women, whatever the age difference. If
you are a woman who attracts the Martyr
RM, you are most likely one of four
types of slightly troubled women:

Hot-tempered—High-strung
with a low-threshold for anger, you
throw fits of rage and even make scenes
in public. Your temper knows no bounds
and when unleashed, you smash
valuable objects, destroy beautiful
furniture, and rip clothes to shreds. You
may even attack your lover in fury—
throw drinks in his face, slap him, kick,
claw, and scream.
 A Martyr Rich Sex® style
never strikes back—and he wears the
scars you inflict like a badge of honor.
The fact that you can get so mad at him
is his proof that you care.

Neurotically Depressed—A
Martyr Rich Sex® style is also attracted
to insecure, depressed women who are
possibly manic-depressive. You may
have attempted suicide more than once.
He is vigilant to watch after you,
tiptoeing through the relationship,
guarding you, protecting you.

Reclusive And Insecure—You

may be withdrawn from people—
socially uncomfortable, and live apart
from others. Your distrust and cynicism
has made you almost a hermit, seeming
antisocial and cold. A Martyr Rich
Sex® style likes playing amateur
psychologist. He believes he can draw
you out and restore your faith—at least
in him.

Hypochondriac Or Genuine
Health Problems—A Martyr RM will
pay for the best medical doctors,
medications, and treatments. He will
take the time to look up the illness in
medical books, study it, himself, and
discuss it with your physicians.

I knew a Martyr Rich Sex®

style who married a woman in poor
health. Touched by her delicacy, he
loved caring for her and hired round-
the-clock live-in care for her while he
was at the office or traveling on
business. He certainly felt needed, if not
heroic.

If you have a combination of

these four problems; he can handle it. He
rewards you so well for your bad
behavior; it is no wonder you do not
improve. But then, what is a martyr for?

How Money Influences

This Style
 Money—like sex—is a nurturing
tool for the Martyr Rich Sex® style. He
uses both sex and money as salve for
your disturbed soul and he spends
lavishly on you.
He surprises you with expensive
gifts because he likes to replace your
fear, worry, anger, or loneliness with a
smile, laughter, or pleasure – and he
knows he has the financial power to do
that for you.
He will pay off your debts and
pay attorneys to keep you out of trouble,
if needed. He will pay the expense of
rehab however many times you need it;
and he makes you feel special by the
amazing sums of money he spends on
you.

Negative Traits Of This

Style
He has a massive ego to think he
can take on serious problems of another
person and solve them...but that is what
turns him on.
Unfortunately, you may never be
able to truly heal and be normal with
him because there is no reward in it.
Once you are emotionally stable, you
may bore him and could lose him to a
sexy neurotic. Such is his mission in life.
 Positive Traits Of This
Style
He is a hero to the underdog and
a champion of the truly troubled woman.
He will move heaven and earth to be
there for you. If he loves you, he will
marry you against the strongest
opposition; and he is lavishly generous
with a woman he cares for.
He is also a man who looks good
all the time because he takes excellent
care of himself – just as he takes
excellent care of you. He wears silk
suits, Italian leather, and… whatever
fragrance you give him, of course.
Chapter 8

Rich Sex®
Courtship And
Engagements
You have control over how
marriageable you are.
Increase
your marriageability by
increasing your interactions
 with men.
The more you date, the sooner
you marry.—Ginie Sayles

A Rich Man wants lasting love

just as much as you do – and dating is
part of the search. But, dating
relationships – like all relationships –
eventually fall into a category of serious
intentions or casual dating in the absence
of a serious prospect.
You can gauge the seriousness of
an RM’s feelings for you by gauging the
dating pattern he has with you.

Casual Dating
 Casual dating is a mild courtship
of convenience. The keynote is that dates
occur occasionally – anywhere from
once a week to once or twice a month or
just every so often.
Think about it. Once a week
means he is only seeing a woman four
times a month. Out of thirty days in a
month, he sees her four days. He is doing
something else with his time the other
twenty-six days that remain in the month.
If that is all a woman wants from him, it
is perfect for both of them.
He will have casual dates with
women who fit neatly into a social peg -
social events they have in common,
perhaps a charity or political events they
both support; or they may both be sailing
enthusiasts.
At the same time, he may invite a
different woman for dates to baseball
games or a boxing match or horse races.
Still another woman may be his pick for
dancing until dawn in off-beat parts of
the city.
There may be another woman he
invites to dinner with his family or
business associates when he is expected
to bring a date because she smoothly fits
in with the core people in his life.
Such dates are not serious
relationships for the RM: they are dates
of convenience for specific situations—
an enjoyable activity with an enjoyable
woman. They have fun together; but
because they only see each other once a
week – or even less often – it is a casual
date.
Sex may or may not be part of a
casual date; but if so, it is casual sex; not
relationship sex. Once a week often
means just sexual release for him.

How To Benefit From

Casual Dating
Now, back to you. If an RM is
casually dating you; enjoy it for what it
is. He can be a lot of fun and provide
entrée for you to discover people,
places, and activities that broaden your
life.
If sex is part of the picture, he
may pay the courtesy of telephoning you
once a day; but if he is seeing you only
once a week, it is still casual sex and
casually dating. Be glad you at least
have a quasi- regular sex life – some
women don’t have that much with a man,
Rich or otherwise.
Keep enjoying him, lower your
expectations from him, and date a lot of
other men. Try to meet other potential
relationships while you are with him
(Yes, be a subtle flirt). Open yourself up
to experiencing love on many levels
with various RMs. Have fun. After all,
my friend – what is wrong with a fun,
casual date?
 You cannot force someone to
love you; but you stand a better chance
of allowing him to fall in love with you
if you take your focus off of him and stay
cheerfully dating other men, too!
Any RM who is not serious
about you is a great opportunity for you
to “practice” your dating skills. Take full
advantage of it. And if you keep it a
social pleasure – light-hearted and fun
without fretting over the ultimate
destination of each man you date, you
will find yourself blossoming with new
confidence.
Yes, I know you feel impatient to
find your true love and think you do not
want to waste time dating RMs who do
not mean anything to you – but you are
not wasting time at all. In fact, you are
making time count and making love
happen sooner.
Dating is a social skill that
makes life more fun as you work your
way through dating until one RM ‘gels’
into a meaningful primary relationship.
By dating a variety of RMs, you
discover more about yourself, you open
yourself up to growth, and you have a
fuller, more exciting life than women
who refuse to date anyone except
someone they think will end up being
‘the one.’ These women lose their social
skills and find it harder to relate easily
with men.
Plus - dating RMs attract even
more RMs – you build a dating
chemistry of ‘ease’ with Rich Men of
various personality types.
Dating gives you ‘choices.’ And
when you have a lot of choices, you find
exactly the right man for you.
FACT: “Not dating” is a
form of Social-Sexual
Suicide. Your skills die.
Conversely, frequent dating
creates a social life and a sex
life if you want it. The more
you date, the sooner you find
real love – and the sooner
you marry.
Yes, a serious relationship can
develop from casual dating; but if so, it
usually happens within the first three to
six months of casual dating.
Certainly after one year to
eighteen months of dating, a man knows
exactly how he feels about you. If, after
two or three years, you are still casually
dating—i.e. once a week or less often—
that is probably all it will ever be with
this particular RM…a casual date.

Serious Dating
When an RM is dating you
seriously, you are integrated into his
whole life and he is with you just about
every single day – not just once a week.
In a serious relationship you and
your man do not have separate lives
twenty-six days a month and see each
other only four days a month with a puny
daily phone call. That is not living life
as a couple.
A serious relationship is ongoing
involvement in each other’s life every
single day.
Most men know quickly if they
want a serious relationship with a
woman. Believe their behavior – not
their words. Behavior does not lie.
If a man sees you once a
week...it is a relationship of
convenience, which is casual dating.
If he integrates you into his life,
he is in love with you…and ready to
take the next step.
 Engagement
When an RM gets serious and
wants to marry you, he asks you to marry
him and the two of you set a date that is
within a few days and not longer than
one year. He gives you an engagement
ring for the third finger of your left hand
and he introduces you as his fiancée.
You both spend a certain amount
of time planning the wedding, making a
guest list (if you are going to have a
formal wedding of some size), selecting
china, crystal, wedding invitations, and
making guaranteed reservations for your
honeymoon. You shop for a house or
townhouse, furniture…in other words, it
is real and it does happen at the time
planned.
However, when the two of you
get engaged, complete with an
engagement ring, but do not have a
specific date set in the near future, and if
time goes by – especially past a year and
a half – then you may find that you have
fallen into the ‘someday’ trap of being
“Perpetually Engaged” but not married.

Perpetual
Engagements
Perpetual Engagement is a
substitute for marriage without the legal
hassles of marriage.
 Celebrities use Perpetual
Engagements all the time to keep from
getting married. In fact, there are quite a
number of celebrities who are
“perpetually engaged” but never actually
make it down the aisle.
I remember when a comedian
who had a popular television show
became “engaged” to a young girl –
whose age was so borderline it would
have been a highly questionable
relationship except for the ‘legal
sounding intentions ‘of being “engaged.”
They lived together as an
engaged couple for a number of years
and finally broke up when the comedian
found another woman – and guess what?
There was no long engagement with a
pending date…uh, uh – he up and
married the woman and he is still
married to her as I speak.
I repeat, there are quite a number
of celebrities who are “perpetually
engaged” but never actually make it
down the aisle with their so-called
‘fiancées.’
The sad part of the story is that
their “fiancées” may have believed it
would happen even as the celebrities
kept postponing the wedding dates and
after several years the relationships play
out.
And guess what? No alimony
payments, no settlements, nothing but a
new “fiancée.”
However, there are also a
number of Rich Men who utilize this
technique of not getting married while
enjoying the perks of it.
Here is how it usually goes…
You make it known to your RM
that you want to get married and he
finally agrees. He may even let you
select an engagement ring if you want
one – or he may give you one as a gift.
But the tell-tale sign that this is a
“perpetual engagement” and will not end
in marriage is that he will hem and haw
about setting a date – or he will set the
date as two years from now – or he will
agree to a date and then change it as the
date draws nigh.
After awhile the conversation
regarding marriage sounds something
like this:
You: “When are we getting
married?”
RM: “How about this summer?”
It is now Christmas and six
months does not sound very far away or
unreasonable so you acquiesce.
You: “Okay, June.”
RM: “Well, one of the summer
months for sure. I don’t know how June
will be. Probably August is best because
of business.”
As summer nears, you realize
the RM has said nothing about the
wedding.
You: “My mother wants to know
which day in August we are getting
married.”
 RM: “Oh damn, I have a
situation coming to a head this summer. I
don’t think we can make it during the
summer months. Let’s have it at
Christmas or New Year’s. We can get
away more easily.”
You: “Well…I had counted on
August.”
RM: “Honey, I can’t make it.
Christmas or New Year. That’s it.”
You: “If you can’t, you can’t, I
guess. The holidays might be more
romantic, anyway.”

The scenario is repeated every

six months or once a year until you
realize this is a make-believe
engagement.
 Clearly, this RM cares enough
about you to want a closer relationship;
but not enough to risk assets to marry
you. And so, he manipulates you into a
perpetual engagement. Or you may
willingly settle for that, which is fine, if
you are happy with it.
Being “engaged” sounds official.
Being “engaged” satisfies you for the
time being that there is a future – but
there isn’t. Being “engaged” sounds
close enough to being married that you
can have sex, live together, and travel
together without upsetting your parents
very much.
Being “engaged” also sounds
legitimate enough for the media to accept
you. It sounds serious enough that his
parents, relatives and possibly children
by a prior marriage must include you
with him whether or not they truly like
you.

However, being “engaged”

sounds close enough to not being
married that he can have all the
privileges of marriage and none of the
responsibility – and none of the
aftermath when it is finished.
And the RM thinks it will
probably not last forever because he is
keeping his options open by staying
engaged rather than by getting
married. And, of course, the more you
press, the sooner it will probably end.
Understand this – if an RM does
not want to marry during the “high” of
new love; he is even less likely to want
to marry when the flush of joy turns into
day-to-day living.

Perpetual engagements rarely

end in marriage. I knew one woman who
was perpetually engaged for nineteen
years. Every year for nineteen years she
thought she was getting married the
upcoming summer but her RM always
made an excuse and said, “We’ll do it
next summer, sweetheart.”
The perpetual engagement would
have lasted longer except that her RM
died. Too bad she was not in his Will.
In a television interview, the
television host asked a celebrity and
about a highly-publicized relationship
had ended between the celebrity and
another well-known personality.
When the celebrity said it was
really over, the TV host asked “Was the
relationship serious?”
The celebrity replied, “Oh yes,
we were engaged.”
The television host then asked,
“Had you set a date?”
The celebrity—whom I like a
great deal, incidentally—was flustered
by the question and mumbled a vague
reply.
My point is that the TV host
(who is a celebrity, himself) knew the
difference between being engaged
that will end in marriage and being
what I call “Perpetually Engaged.”
If you do not want to live in the
limbo of Perpetual Engagement, (1) set a
date and (2) don’t change the date once
it is set. To further enhance the
possibility of actually getting married,
(3) have a quick, private, civil ceremony
without telling anyone!!!
DO THE DEED. You can still
have a big, beautiful wedding a few
weeks or months later and those who
have done this tell me they enjoyed their
wedding ten times more because the
stress is limited to the event and it
cannot affect the fact that you are
married. A lot of engagements never get
to the altar because of the serious stress
of the wedding itself. But if you opt for a
wedding first; just be sure the date is not
changed.

The Bottom Line

If an engagement keeps going on
and wedding dates delayed, it is not a
real engagement to get married. It is a
Perpetual Engagement…with no “I Do”
date in sight.
The smartest ladies in this
situation will not press more than twice
for a marriage date. At that point, they
begin looking around for someone else
while they continue being ‘Perpetually
Engaged.’ Then, to the shock of the RM,
they move out and get married (and
quickly) to someone who wants
marriage, too. Seriously, this is the
smartest move.
Chapter 9

Rich Sex®
Pre And Post
Nuptial Agreements
If I knew this marriage
would fail, would my life be
substantially
better off for having
 married this RM?—Ginie
Sayles

You may feel insulted by a

prenuptial agreement, but if you want to
marry an RM, you may have to sign one.
Resist at first, if you want to, but, do not
let a prenuptial agreement keep you from
a marriage that may benefit your life
greatly.
I know several women who
refused to sign a prenuptial agreement
and left the RM in a huff of pride—and
they only deprived themselves.
One woman had three small
children from a previous marriage when
she met a Rich man and fell in love with
him.
He was generous with her and
with her children and when he asked her
to marry him; she could not believe her
good fortune. But, when he took her to
his lawyer to have her sign a prenuptial
agreement, she was crushed.
Then she was furiously indignant
and stormed out of the attorney’s office.
Quickly gathering her children, she
boarded a train to another city.
When the only job she was
qualified for paid poorly and her ex-
husband was irregular with child
support payments, she found herself
begging money from relatives.
Eventually, in desperation, she
called the RM to ask for money. He sent
it and called regularly to see how she
was and asked her to come back and
marry him.
She felt he would eventually give
in and held out for marriage without a
prenuptial agreement (insisting that if he
really loved her, he would not require
one.
After two years of only talking
on the telephone long distance and
sending small amounts of money to keep
her and her children from starvation, he
finally gave up.
He married another woman who
signed his prenuptial agreement—and he
is still married to her.
The woman who could have
married him has lived a sad, lonely,
desperately poor life. She and her
children have suffered a penniless
existence when they could have enjoyed
years of abundance, opportunity, and fine
living, if she had signed a prenuptial
agreement All she had to do
was to hire her own attorney look at it
and to work with the RM’s attorney on
the terms, if necessary.
And if the marriage had ended,
she and her children would have had a
better life for a time—and she could
always seek legal recourse against the
prenuptial agreement, anyway.
Best of all, she would have made
friends on a higher social level who
could introduce her to other Rich men to
date and possibly to marry. After all, if
you marry one RM, you can marry
others.

If You Are Presented A

Prenuptial Agreement
If you are ever presented a
prenuptial agreement, be pleasant and
businesslike about it. Then tell your RM
you want your attorney to look it over—
and your RM should pay for all your
legal costs.
Simply tear out several deposit
slips for your bank account and hand
them to your RM, saying, in a reasonable
tone, “I will let you know how much
money you can deposit into my account,
so I can pay my attorney with my
personal checks.
If this RM will not pay your
legal expense, you may be getting a raw
deal. But you should have another
attorney look it over and not just sign
whatever your RM’s attorney draws up.
After all, the RM’s attorney is looking
out for the best interest of the RM, not
yours.
If your RM will not pay your
legal fees and you desperately want to
marry him, do the best you can: perhaps
through free legal aid services; or
through law school intern programs,
where soon-to-graduate law students can
help you. You would be surprised what
eager-beavers these students can be on
your behalf.)

The Bottom Line On

Prenuptial Agreements
Ask yourself this question before
signing a prenuptial agreement: If I
knew this marriage would fail,
would my life be substantially
better off for having married
this RM?
Even if the RM
disappoints you, lets you
down, or cheats on you,
would your life be
substantially better off for
having married him? After all,
a poor man can do all those
things, too, and you would not
be better off for having
married him. Marriage has no
guarantees, which is why
prenuptial agreements exist.
So ask yourself, If I knew
this marriage would fail,
would my life be substantially
better off for having married
this RM?
This is the most sensible way to
approach a prenuptial agreement,
because now you can shove aside
extraneous hurt or punitive feelings and
get down to protecting yourself in a
mature and loving way for both of you in
the terms of a prenuptial agreement.
I have known poor women who
signed prenuptial agreements and
married an RM—and when the
marriages ended in divorce—these same
women were SO much better off in life,
even if the divorces were bitter.
One such woman—and there are
many like her—signed a prenuptial
agreement and married a Rich man who
provided a social life for her among
people she would never have met on her
own.
As time passed, the marriage
became strained but she continued to
socialize with people who were now her
friends, too.
While attending a charity event
alone at an exclusive country club where
her husband held a membership; she met
another Rich man who was visiting from
the East Coast. And he was a man she
would never have met without the social
entrée provided by her failing marriage,
prenuptial agreement and all.
Her marriage faltering, she
entered an affair with the new man and
they rendezvoused in back and forth
trips. When her husband asked for a
divorce, she did not receive anything
from him other than valuable gifts of
jewelry, the Porsche he gave her – and
most valuable of all – the connections
she had made while married to him.
She married the man on the East
Coast, signing a prenuptial agreement
with him, as well.
But it does not stop there. After
ten years, their marriage began a sharp
decline and when they divorced, she
again only took with her the expensive
gifts he had given her.
Once more, however, the
connections she had made during her
marriage to him were most valuable of
all. A group of their mutual friends took
her “as their guest” to the south of
France for several months.
When they returned, they
introduced her to a handsome, wealthy
New Yorker who not only financed her
new business interests but also married
her.
Just think…if she had refused to
sign the first prenuptial agreement, she
could have ended up like the other
woman, living hand-to-mouth with
nothing but silly false pride.
But because she signed the
prenuptial agreement and married her
RM—and then took advantage of the
opportunities of people she would never
have known that her marriage to him
provided—she elevated her life to
greater heights than she ever imagined.
P.S. I do think that while you are
with a man, you should be socking away
‘shopping cash’ in a savings account and
accumulating valuable gifts because gifts
go with you after a divorce.

Terms Of A Prenuptial
Agreement
1. Have ‘Money Promises’
spelled out in the prenuptial
agreement with no ‘back door’
exceptions. If you are told you will
receive a million dollars after three
years of marriage if there is a divorce,
be sure there are no ‘exception’ clauses
that nullify that promise. After all, three
years of your life is three years of your
life. Any paragraph on this matter should
strictly maintain that it is mutually
agreed upon compensation for your
‘time’—which is, without exception,
irreplaceable.

2. Have ‘Money Promises’

Collateralized in escrow —This is very
important. For instance, you may be
presented with a prenuptial agreement
that says if you stay married to the RM
for a period of three years, you will then
receive a million dollars in the event of
a divorce. This sounded pretty
good to one of my clients, until the three
years ran out and he filed for divorce
only to find that the RM had all her
money tied up in loans so there was
nothing to give the divorcing husband.
This is an RM whom I suspect stays
deliberately loan-entrenched as a
protection from lawsuits and ex-
husbands.
So, be sure you have the
financial promises ‘collateralized’ in
escrow before signing.

2. Be sure there is a paragraph

that irrevocably prevents extensions. A
prenuptial agreement may say that if you
divorce the RM before five years, you
will be entitled to nothing; but that after
five years, you are entitled to increased
financial privileges as a spouse, even in
the event of a divorce.
One woman had such a
prenuptial agreement but before it
expired, her RM told her to sign an
extension on it for another five years or
he would immediately divorce her
before the time ran out and she would
receive nothing. She did sign it again;
but, again, before the end of that next
five year period, he presented her with
another extension. So, for fifteen years,
she was virtually black-mailed into a
losing position in a marriage to her RM.

3. Be sure your prenuptial

agreement specifies periods for
upgrading your position in the
benefits of the prenuptial agreement
but without limiting or reducing your
position. If you signed a prenuptial
agreement agreeing to virtually nothing
when you were young and twenty years
later you have had children by the RM
and you have also helped the RM
increase his fortunes, you should be
entitled to more. But, if your position has
not been upgraded (like a raise) in the
prenuptial agreement, you are losing out,
significantly.

4. Try to get as generous a

settlement as possible spelled out, but
at least try to get the basics. Certainly,
in the event of a divorce, you want to
emerge from it, fairly; but sometimes
settling for less can mean having more
than you have now (or more than you are
likely to have years from now if you do
not marry your RM).
The basics include a cash
settlement or savings account, two or
three bedroom condominium in a
respectable part of town (best defined in
a prenuptial agreement by price range—
with a percentage adjustment for
inflation), range of furnishings, a new
car (again best defined in a price range
or style, type, model), car, health, home,
and life insurance of a certain value,
computer, clothing, and jewelry you
have received. Retirement benefits, such
as IRAs, Keoghs, and such will help.
 Taking A Prenuptial
Agreement To Court
Prenuptial Agreements can be nullified
in cases of :

Duress—which means you

were put under pressure to sign during
the last few minutes before a wedding.
The embarrassment of having your RM
walk out on you while wedding guests
are waiting for the ceremony to begin is
undue stress (duress) that courts have
sometimes ruled to be unfair.
Unfairness—One person is
getting disproportionately more than the
other.
 Misrepresentation—One mate
did not fully reveal assets and financial
standing.
Fraud—One mate has
attempted to defraud the other.

Enter Marriage With

Happiness
Let the two lawyers thrash out
the terms. You deal closely with your
attorney as the RM will certainly do.
But, if you can, try to avoid
dragging the legal fights of the lawyers
into your love life. It may not be fully
possible, but try.
 And once the terms are fairly
reasonable, sign it and get married,
expecting the best.
After all, this is a person you
now realize you would want to marry if
money were no consideration).

Post-Nuptial Agreements
Post-nuptial agreements are
becoming fairly common today; although
not quite as common as the pre-nuptial
agreement. To my way of thinking, they
can be much trickier and even cruel in
some cases.
Whereas I think it is good that a
prenuptial agreement is updated so that
the increasing fortune of a couple after
they marry will be fairly reflected in
compensating the spouse who had to sign
a prenuptial agreement; sometimes, that
is not what happens.
During a period of signing a
prenuptial agreement, the couple is
typically influenced in each other’s
favor by the hormonal endorphins of
love for each other. A few years later,
endorphins may be running scarce and a
less generous heart dictates the “me” and
“mine” with less favor for the spouse
who brought less wherewithal into the
union.

Manipulative Post-Nups
 Worse, are the three-year or five-
year updates that can hang a spouse out
to dry, if the spouse does not sign a new
post-nup!
One tight-assed RM married a
woman who agreed to sign a prenuptial
agreement that would be updated in five
years.
If she divorced him before the
five year period, she would get nothing.
If she stayed married to him, he “told
her” he would sign a post-nuptial
agreement that she would be entitled to
five million dollars if they stayed
married another five years.
Well…at the end of the five year
period, he presented her with the very
same terms for the next five years and
told her that if she did not sign it, he
would divorce her. Once again, he
promised that the next update would be
in her favor.
Five years later, he pulled the
same stunt. She was furious and refused.
He filed for divorce and she quickly
signed.
During the five-year period, she
had an affair with a man who
worshipped her but he had very little
money—certainly not to provide her
with the clothes and lifestyle she lived
with her tight-assed RM.
Cutting to the chase—he has seen
her through three five-year increments—
fifteen years—and still he hopes she
will come to her senses. She never will;
so in a way she inflicts a similar cruelty
on her lover as her RM inflicts on her
with his crummy post-nuptial
agreements.
If this woman had talked to a few
good lawyers about it, she could
probably have turned this RM on his ear
– and maybe earned his respect enough
for him to ‘want to’ provide for her –
and if not, she could have cost him a
pretty penny for trying to weasel on her.
Chapter 10

Wifestyles of the Rich

And Famous™
People stay married because
they want to; not because the
door is locked.
—Frank Capua, the character
played by Paul Newman
in the movie, Winning
 She is his wife. And as his wife,
her relationship with him is well-
defined—both legally and socially. An
RM’s wife is singularly important in
ways no other person is; and no matter
what he says to other people about her;
most RMs are emotionally or
psychologically dependent on their
wives.
To a Rich Man, his wife is the
other half of himself. She is the core of
his family life, the expansion of his
social life, the mother of his children,
and his emotional security in an insecure
world. Being married settles a lot of
issues and keeps him centered.
 There are five basic Wifestyles:
three of the wifestyles center around
who is in “control” of the marriage. The
other two styles are variations of the
first two. The five wifestyles of the Rich
and Famous are:

—His Wife is in control

—The RM is in control
—Shared Control
—A Trophy Wife
—A Cheating Wife

Wifestyle # 1 – She Is
In Control
 She is the model wife. She is the
nucleus energy of her marriage and sets
the agenda for her family. The lives of
her children and husband are organized
by her and revolve around her plans.
Her husband schedules his own
organizer around the events his wife has
planned for them because family life is
his number one priority.
He does not consider time with
his wife expendable or relegate time
with her as secondary as or less
important than a business meeting.
If his wife calls his office while
he is on the telephone with a business
associate, he puts the associate on hold
and quickly checks with his wife.
Furthermore, his wife is the only person
whose call will be put through even
when he is in a business meeting. He
never instructs his secretary to tell his
wife he will call back. He always takes
her call.
If his wife drops in at his office,
unexpectedly, she is welcomed and
introduced to associates who may be
meeting with him.
An RM’s wife who is in control
of the relationship does not consult with
her husband about her purchases.
However, if she is an outrageous over
spender who tries to resolve her
personal issues with money, he provides
an allowance – but a very generous
allowance - with lots of wiggle room for
financial mistakes while protecting their
financial life.
Such wives either magnify an
RMs insecurities or sooths them,
whichever she has learned works best in
their marriage. To the outside world, her
control may be viewed as a good wife
or a bad wife; but she knows exactly
what she is doing to keep the reins of the
relationship in her hands.
A so-called “good wife” who is
in control – and remains in control as the
years go by – is a woman who has good
managerial skills, herself. She runs a
tight ship – but a fair one - when it
comes to her household. Servants,
children, and husband respect her
judgment. She makes sure her house,
children, husband, and automobiles are
neat, clean, and well cared-for.
This wife coordinates the lives
of her family for their own good. She
makes sure the children are in the very
best school and watches over their
grades, hiring top-notch tutors if need
be. And she is protective. This woman
diligently checks references for
domestic help and nannies;
She takes care of her husband by
taking care of herself. Hair and nail
appointments, facials, depilatory
treatments, light exercise programs are
never missed. All are incorporated with
ease into her daily activities.
She schedules romantic time
alone to keep her husband’s sexual needs
met, but she is not necessarily available
at his whim.
She is aware of their position
and selectively serves on charitable
boards – as long as they do not interfere
with her family goals. She plays tennis
or golf or sails with her husband, and
can hold her own at a game of Bridge or
Gin Rummy.
She also makes sure the family
has a reasonable spiritual base that is
honored on their holy days.
Her husband, as well as their
children, admires her, and like the
standards she sets. Her RM can
concentrate on work when he is
working; but his greatest fulfillment is
the life she plans for them.
Not all ‘bad Wives’-in-control
are manipulators; but some of them are.
Such a wife confided in me that she
knows her RM is “motivated by guilt”
and that she can get him to do anything
she wants if she makes him feel guilty
enough about it.
Don’t feel too sorry for an RM in
this marriage because he believes he
deserves an occasional (or frequent)
berating and belittlement.
From all accounts, this was the
wifestyle of Wallace Simpson, the twice
divorced American who married King
Edward VIII – a man who abdicated the
throne of England for her as “the woman
he loved.”
She was the opposite of all the
qualities we are taught that men want –
she was older than he, not a beauty,
small-breasted.
Yet she possessed the one quality
of cutting him down to size – which no
one in his kingdom was allowed to do.
He found it irresistible and gave up the
throne of England for a lifetime of
belittlement and berating he felt he
deserved by a woman who had the guts
to do it. He adored her.
When his wife is in control, an
RM gives her just about everything she
wants. If the passing years take their toll
on such a marriage so that love wanes,
this habit can lead to an RM giving his
wife ‘things’ as a substitute for ‘physical
presence’ or eventually as a substitute
for love. At that point, her control has
greatly weakened but their habits have
not.

Wifestyle # 2 – He Is In
Control
There are many RMs who marry
a “janitorial wife.” She is the support
system he needs to keep his success
operating effectively. She does exactly
what he tells her to do and willingly;
because she lives her life for him and
him alone. This woman never sees
herself as a queen in their marriage; but
she definitely sees him as king.
Frequently, she is not beautiful
because he does not want her to get more
attention than he does. He has to be
number one.
However, he will insist that she
take care of herself because of how it
reflects on him. He may berate her with
barbed comments about her looks and
keeps her self-esteem low enough to
ensure he keeps the upper hand.
Most of these women try to be
perfect for him. I know the wife of such
an RM and she became anorexic trying
to please him. She took prescription
water-loss pills beyond the length of
time her doctor wanted her to and was
hospitalized, close to death from
damaging her inner organs with
dehydration from the water-loss pills.
These women try to please,
please, please their demanding
husbands. When I asked one such woman
why she tolerated it, she said, “I may be
nobody to him; but I am ‘somebody’ in
society because I am married to him. I
do not have to work. I have a mansion
other women only dream about and when
he is gone – which is most of the time – I
live luxuriously.”
Some women in this wifestyle
bide their time and get even. My
husband’s late grandfather, Henry Sayles
Jr, was very successful. He was a
generous man; but he was controlling
and his marriage was lived on his terms.
Apparently he and his wife had a
row over a tree she wanted removed
from the driveway and he refused to
have it done. The day after he died, she
had it cut down and did so with
considerable satisfaction.
Another man used to regularly
buy himself a new Mercedes and
occasionally gave his wife a Taurus for
a new car. He also bought himself a
Land Rover SUV and bought her a RAV
4. The cars she drove were certainly
good cars; but they lacked the prestige of
cars he drove.
The greatest insult to his wife
was that every time he bought a new
Mercedes, he passed his previous
Mercedes on to his teenage son, who
barely had a driver’s license, rather than
giving it to his wife.
When he was in the hospital
dying, she ordered the most expensive
Rolls Royce with all the perks for
herself; and the car was delivered to her
a few days after his funeral. Most people
felt she deserved it.
Another RM who controlled his
marriage would never allow his wife to
question or to criticize anything he did.
He might stay out all night or not come
home for a few days without calling; but
she was forbidden to comment or to
question or to criticize his behavior.
Throughout their marriage that is
now in its thirty-second year; she has
never telephoned his office to see if he
is there when he is late coming home.
She has never checked up on him in any
way even when he does not come home
for days.
Oddly, most of these wives do
love their RM husbands – in fact, they
usually idolize them and consider
themselves lucky to hang onto his
coattails throughout their marriage.
They draw their own energy
from such a high-powered man. They
create their own identities as part of his
and bask in the reflected glory of being
his wife. Some of the women consider it
a short-cut to their own financial
security without having to make a name
for themselves beyond “Mrs.”
I will never forget a woman who
kept her controlling RM happy by
verbally worshipping him with praise he
lapped up like honey. He told his wife
every problem he had and every
decision he made in business or among
his friends – not for her advice but
because she praised his every move.
After every complaint he made
about a business associate, she literally
cooed, “He can’t hold a candle to you,
Roger. What a brilliant move you made.”
(It almost required Pepto Bismol to
endure their conversations.)
Daily, he bragged and daily, she
mirrored back exactly what he wanted to
hear in order to prop up his weak ego
and to keep him operating as a dynamo.
At that time, they had been
married thirty-eight years and she looked
worse for the wear – old, shrunken, and
frankly, haggard; but although he had
always cheated on her with young,
buxom women by the scores, he would
never divorce her – ever.
The young, buxom women
expected admiration from him; whereas
his wife did not. His wife held her
marriage together by giving her husband
what no other woman would give –
constant verbal worship.
He needed to be idolized and
whatever her true opinion of him, she
gave him the words of adulation he
needed and kept her marriage intact.
They are still married. I daresay
they always will be. If she predeceases
him, this RM will be lost.
The glue of their marriage is
one-sided adoration. His ego was too
weak to praise her, ever. He never told
her she looked pretty or that he was
proud of how well she hosted a party. If
someone else praised her while he was
in earshot, she immediately gave the
credit to him.
I know he sounds like a bastard
but remember, she has allowed him to be
exactly that to enable him to succeed and
in order to keep a marriage together that
is important to her – whatever the rest of
us may think of it.
When the RM is in control, his
wife is lucky if she comes in second
place in their life together – and that is
actually a pretty good position because
second place means second in command.
As second in command, she has a
place of honor and he supports her
decisions with the children. As second
in command she probably has a decent
allowance and keeps herself well-
groomed and nicely dressed.
Unfortunately, many wives of RMs who
control the relationship eventually find
themselves in ‘last’ place.
That often means that even the
children come before her. He will
override her authority with the children
and they soon learn how to play their
parents against each other – which
means their mother has little or no
authority.
If the children talk back to her, or
refuse to mind her, she can do nothing
about it. If she does not grant permission
for something they want to do; they run
to their Rich daddy who immediately
confronts his wife (in front of the
children so they can see he is their hero),
belittles her and overrides her by
granting permission for their activity.
When it sinks to this level, his
wife ranks last in an RM’s priorities.
That means she drives economy cars,
has her hair cut at a cheaper price
location, colors it herself, does her own
nails, wears the same clothes for years
and buys at outlets and on sale.
He ‘economizes’ by denying her
financial expression. He freely criticizes
her and orders her about. The house may
have servants, but even they know she
has no real power.
 Even in front of people, this RM
often talks to his wife like a dog. He
contradicts her, and ridicules her point
of view.
And he runs her ragged with
‘errands,’ calling from his office to tell
her to get something for him. She usually
looks tired and only ‘fixes up’ for
special occasions.
And yet for all the mistreatment
this woman gets, I have yet to see one
who does not idolize her husband and
seems unaware that she is mistreated.
Often the RMs who choose this
woman to be their wives are
entrepreneurs on their way on the ladder.
This Wifestyle may last an entire
marriage – or she may end up as a ‘first
wife’ - the one he outgrew after he
became successful.
Although this wifestyle may
seem to have no control, make no
mistake about it, a controlling RM needs
her…at least initially. She is the wind
beneath his wings. She is the behind-the-
scenes woman who makes his life work.
This woman is a virtual janitor who
cleans up after him and keeps his life
organized and on mark; but in her mind,
it may be the only way she can get her
piece of the pie.

Wifestyle # 3 - Shared
Control
 Shared dreams, shared goals are
the foundation of this marriage. The RM
and his wife may have married in law
school and set up a law practice
together.
Or they both may be medical
doctors – perhaps one is a surgeon and
the other an anesthesiologist – so that
their medical practice works hand-in-
glove together.
Or they may be a couple who had
an idea, jumped into business together,
and made it work financially beyond
their dreams.
Division of labor is another type
of shared control in an RM’s marriage.
Typical of this is the wife who does the
book keeping or secretarial side of her
husband’s start-up business.
The original chemistry of shared
control in a relationship is often the mix
of great sex and great dreams they want
to achieve together. Their dreams of
success are a common bond that cements
their love.
Yet, as great as the bond is, these
marriages often do not last forever. They
may last a long time, yes; but years later,
after the great sex becomes mundane and
the success of the practice has leveled
off, you may hear them emphasize their
common bond of their professions as
being the reason they married in the first
place.
When you hear that…it usually
means that one of them or both of them
feel they have gone as far as they can go
together in the business – which is
inextricably part of the DNA of their
marriage – but now, they are beginning
to want something else…meaning
primarily ‘someone’ else.
A husband and wife who created
a toy empire together and reveled in
their joint success, divorced after
twenty-six years of marriage and only
five years after the company had reached
its pinnacle and had nowhere else to go.
The excitement of reaching new
heights was over – and arguments that
used to lead to new ideas became
harassing and critical of each other.
Remember Clara Harris, the
woman who found her husband cheating
and killed him by driving over and over
him with her Mercedes?
She and her husband were both
dentists and built a successful chain of
dental facilities together. As their
success reached its zenith, they began to
take each other for granted in their
shared control and destroyed each
other’s lives as their marital zest waned.

Wifestyle # 4 – A
Trophy Wife
A Trophy Wife is typically a
woman whose social stature or beauty or
personal achievements make her a
woman an RM is proud to have as his
wife. Contrary to clichés, a Trophy Wife
is not always beautiful. A Trophy Wife
merely represents the completion of a
dream or goal to an RM that in some
way fulfills the needs of his self-image.
Sometimes a Trophy Wife is
“compensation” for what an RM lacks.
A high school drop out who became a
self-made mogul married a female
lawyer. She was not beautiful; but as a
Rich man, he was pursued by so many
beautiful women that he was not
impressed by beauty.
He was impressed by
intelligence and education. The plain
looking female lawyer had what he
lacked – an impressive education.
This high school drop-out RM
was a Trophy Husband for her, too. She
was able to make a good living as a
lawyer; but she did not command the
financial earning power he had
mastered. They made a wonderful match
and he preened every time he introduced
her as his wife, always adding that she
was a lawyer. He was proud of her.
Another self-made man who rose
from hardship and poverty married a
former debutante with old money lineage
and private school upbringing whose
family had fallen on embarrassingly hard
times.
She was not beautiful, either; but
she was a trophy because she had the
name and social connections that opened
doors to exclusive memberships he
could never have entered without her.
Sadly, he was never a trophy to
her but an embarrassment because she
had “married down;” but her life with
his money was far less embarrassing
than the poverty she considered to be a
dreaded social disease.
Even if a Trophy Wife does not
compensate for something an RM is
lacking; she always represents
something an RM admires. A beautiful
woman is sometimes the Trophy Wife of
an old money heir who is tired of prep
school girls he grew up with who
seldom wear makeup or sexy clothes.
In this case, he is attracted to a
beautiful woman of a different social
class and who may be poor but she is
‘different’ and therefore more exciting.
She may be a model or an actress and
create a little stir in his social circle but
he considers it envy and he likes the way
she looks on his arm.
Still another Rich Man
considered a woman of accomplishment
to be a trophy. He was impressed by an
older woman who was a renowned
author. He showed up for her book
signing and after she addressed the
audience, he asked her out. He was so
proud of her that he kept her books on
his desk at his office and always let it be
known she was his wife.
A final example of a Trophy
Wife is the woman who is married to –
or has been married to – the competitor
of an RM – or at least to a man he
admired.
Jacqueline Kennedy is said to
have been a Trophy Wife to Aristotle
Onaissis, that Onaissis considered his
marriage to the widow of the most
powerful man in the world at the time –
President John F. Kennedy - as a crown
jewel in his bevy of women and
marriages. But even after he married
Mrs. Kennedy, he still saw his previous
mistress.
His mistress had been another
trophy – and she was not beautiful.
According to rumors, he pursued Maria
Callas when she was the wife of
Giovanni Battista Meneghini whom
Onaissis viewed as a competitor in other
areas of his life. Ignoring the fact that
she was married, he pursued her
relentlessly and some say it was for the
sole satisfaction of taking her away from
his enemy.
When she left her husband for
him, it seemed that Onaissis had bested
him in the bedroom as well as the
boardroom. Even so, Onaissis never
married Maria Callas, but reduced her to
his mistress, which was an even greater
slap in the face of her former husband
who had honored her in marriage.
Most RMs take good care of
their trophies because they are proud of
how a trophy reflects on them. They feel
they have ‘earned’ the trophy in some
way.
 However, I have seen many
Trophy Wives lose their priority status
over time because they consider
themselves second to him or accept a
secondary role to his business.

Wifestyle # 5 – The
Cheating Wife
Many wives of RMs do have
affairs—and justifiably for most, since
their RMs are often high-absentee
husbands, leaving their wives with the
frustration of an irregular sex life and
long hours to fill with their own interests
or to spend alone.
Every woman I have known in
this situation who chose to have an affair
—and some of them do not—but those
who do—primarily do so to even the
score with secret satisfaction if they
suspect their husbands are cheating or to
fulfill their sexual or emotional needs.
Some do it out of boredom to add a
special, happy thrill to their lives.
Ninety percent of them do not
want a divorce. They will do anything to
keep their husbands from finding out;
because no matter how sexually thrilling
a lover may be and no matter how
comforting and enjoyable the
companionship may be; her lover is not
the dynamo powerhouse her husband is
and that is her ultimate turn-on.
If an RM’s wife cheats because
she is genuinely trying to find a new
husband; it is because she knows on
some level that her marriage is over. In
some cases, the hurt is too deep and the
marriage is beyond repair and she
begins searching in earnest for love.
In some cases, love has been so
neglected in the marriage that it has
evaporated. She no longer feels any
emotion at all for her husband and she is
ready to move on.
However, she typically does not
want to divorce her husband before she
finds someone else to marry. She may
already know from experience that being
a divorcee is a cold, lonely experience.
She does not want to be put in
the position of trying to build a new life,
to create a solo social structure from
nothing, and to work her way through the
maze of dating to find someone suitable.
She wants to find another man
before she lets go of the one she has,
especially if her marriage provides
financial and social benefits that are of
some comfort in an unhappy marriage.
After all, she will lose those
perks when a divorce is final. Her best
married friends will fall to the wayside
because they are part of her married
social structure.
Financial obligations will be
entirely on her shoulders – and even if
she receives a good settlement and
alimony, she is responsible for managing
it responsibly.
 Life as she knows it as his wife
will be over. It is easier to move out of
one relationship if she has another one
warm and waiting for her. If not…well,
as one wife admitted frankly to me in a
consultation, “…if I do not find someone
else, I will stay with my husband.”

The Bottom Line

In one way or the other, whether
he has a trophy wife, or whether an RM
is in control or the RM’s wife is in
control, or if they have shared control,
most RMs are far more dependent on
their wives than meets the eye.
Even if he cheats or
keeps mistresses, an RM can be
emotionally dependent on his wife. No
matter how he depicts her to women he
wants to seduce or to his friends; never,
ever underestimate the importance of his
wife.
His wife shares his history. She
is his anchor. And no matter how many
houses they may own; wherever his wife
is, is the place he calls home.
Chapter 11

Rich Sex® And

Courtesans
A courtesan is a sex
professional who receives
money for a specific sex act.
A man is a customer, not a
suitor, and not a relationship.
—Ginie Sayles
 The least emotionally involved
interaction an RM has with a woman is a
prostitute, also called a courtesan. A
courtesan is sex for convenience. Money
defines the encounter. She is not sought
for a relationship.
Not all RMs visit prostitutes.
There are RMs who visit prostitutes
occasionally; whereas other RMs have a
regularly scheduled visit with a specific
prostitute. Some never do.
Steve is a famous writer in the
prime of life. He is divorced and does
not want to marry again or even to have
a serious relationship.
“My wife is my work as an
author.” he declared, “I do not need
serious relationships with women. There
are so many strings attached to
relationships—obligations and
interruptions—that my work always
suffered whenever I was involved.”
For years now his needs have
been met through a weekly visit from a
high caliber call girl who only has two
other well-paying clients—a Wall Street
financier and a medical doctor.
“She comes to my place for a
session and then leaves. We exchange a
few pleasantries but no personal
information. I don’t want to know
anything about her. Not even her last
name.”
With a satisfied smile, he
concluded, “My work has flourished
under this arrangement. Regular sex and
no sticky aftermath—this is my most
productive period as a writer.”
Married RMs who use
prostitutes often do so for activities their
wives do not approve. For instance, one
married plastic surgeon knew his wife
would never take drugs and that she
would probably divorce him if she knew
he did.
The plastic surgeon loved
cocaine; but he did not like to use
cocaine alone; so he hired a prostitute
who was willing to take drugs with him
for private occasions of cocaine and sex.
Some married RMs hire an
occasional prostitute just to experience
someone other than their wives—no
matter how much they may enjoy sex
with their wives. They just feel the need
for genital variety and hiring a prostitute
is a way to satisfy that need without
emotional residue that comes with an
affair.
An RM knows a prostitute is not
a relationship. She receives money for a
specific sex act with him and nothing
more.

Women And
Professional Sex
Most women enter the profession
for easy, fast money and it becomes a
way of life. There are some differences
regarding women in the profession; but
the profession itself is basically the
same.
On the lower rung of the market,
there are street-walkers who may be
supporting a drug habit. There are
hookers who are virtual slaves to pimps
who may be abusive. There are massage
parlor prostitutes or Spa Prostitutes who
provide ‘sensuous massage.’
Escort services provide
prostitutes who service men under the
guise of a date—and some even call
themselves a dating service. The women
are sometimes told they do not have to
have sex with a customer; but the reality
is that if they do not, they will soon find
themselves out of a job. Most escort
prostitutes have more interaction with
their male customers. They may
accompany a customer to dinner, to the
theater, to parties, go on trips with a
customer and in some cases end up being
kept by one or more men.
According to one woman who
ran an escort service, her women were
young college students who worked as
escorts during their college years. She
said her girls led a double life and never
breathed a word about their secret lives
as an escort, not even their best friends
or roommates at college. At school,
behaving like any other coed, the girls
continued social dating fraternity boys,
eventually got engaged and married.
These women never confessed to their
husbands.
Some women do not work for a
service of any sort. Such women operate
as independents on a part-time basis to
pick up a little extra cash. A number of
them advertise online, couching their ads
in words that a man can read-between-
the-lines.
There are a few secretaries who
are part-time independents. They make
occasional weekend trips to gambling
centers, use a different name, and go
home with extra money. They cannot do
this very often or they will get caught by
the police—or by professional
prostitution organizations that do not
want them invading their territory.
On the so-called ‘high-end’ of
the profession, there are well-organized
call girl services, often run by the
proverbial ‘madam’ who provides call
girls to rich and powerful men. Many of
these women are young, exotic dancers
who have shapely figures and can
command high fees and sometimes
repeat customers.

If This Is You
If you are in this profession, take
proactive steps in your own best
interest.
First, keep your health as number
one. That may mean limiting your clients
and using protective devices as well as
frequent check-ups by more than one
medical doctor. It is a good idea to have
a psychologist help you deal with any
emotional baggage that may contribute to
or be the result of your profession.
Too, since you are primarily in
the profession for money, don’t keep
yourself locked into the profession by
spending it all. One courtesan set a goal
of saving $20,000. When she reached the
goal, she was so proud of herself, she
set a new goal of $50,000. She kept
upping her goal; and eventually, she had
saved significant money, bought
property, ended up in real estate and got
out of the business, permanently.
Be sure to pay taxes on your
income. My husband and I were on a talk
show and they also had a male courtesan
to wealthy women and he said he paid
taxes on his income and listed himself as
a writer. You might list yourself as an
artist and actually take some art classes
or take up painting. Perhaps give a small
sketch of something to each client so
there is some truth to it.
I will not advise you to be in a
profession that is against the law; but, if
you are a courtesan, be very careful who
your clients are, do not get involved
with pimps, and definitely do not get
involved in drugs because drugs are a
form of slavery, make no mistake about
it.
And finally, keep your
professional life and your private life
completely separate. Do not use your
real name or your personal address.

Truth And
Consequences
Should you tell the men in your
personal life—the ones you want to
marry—that you are a prostitute or work
in the sex trade or that you did in the
past?
One woman who worked in
‘sensual massage’ found that her
customers were generous and liked her
well enough to see her often; but they did
not want to marry her or to have children
with her. And she was not too keen on
wanting to marry some of the men she
met through her services, either.
So she concentrated on finding
datable men outside her profession, just
the way most women do. However,
wanting to be honest, she at first told
men she dated what she did for a living;
but then found these men wanted her to
perform the same services for them as
she did her clients—except for free—
and the ‘relationship’ she wanted was
reduced to dinner and movie dates
whenever they wanted a free sensual
massage and sex.
So, she decided to give a man
with relationship potential a chance to
get to know her first—the way they
would anyone else they dated—and if
the relationship turned serious, then she
would admit her profession.
Not telling men worked well and
soon she enjoyed the attentions of men
‘just for her’ because they had no idea
she was a prostitute. Eventually, she fell
in love with a man who did not know her
profession. Sex occurred as a natural
expression of their love for each other
and he asked her to marry him.
She thought he deserved to know
the truth and confessed her true
profession. It crushed him. He was angry
and confused; but when she begged him
to see a counselor with her, he agreed
because he loved her.
Through counseling, he seemed
to come to terms with it and they
married. But as time passed, it still
bothered him. What if they encountered a
man who had known his wife
professionally, he wondered. And every
time a man glanced at his wife, he
wondered if he had been a former client.
Sometimes when they attended a
social function, he worried that a man
there might recognize her from her past
and would consider him a patsy.
Soon, he began asking her
questions—what she did for her clients,
how many there were, who they were…
and on and on. He finally faced the fact
that he had only “tried” to put it out of
his mind.
He remembered the counselor
advised they not tell their friends
about her prior profession. Now, he
wondered why that rule had not
applied to him, as well. He wished the
counselor had told his wife not to tell
him—and he wished he did not know.
In spite of himself, he began to
make sneering remarks to his wife. The
knowledge of her past caused so much
shame and embarrassment to him, that
after a few years, he asked for a divorce.
Sadder but wiser, she said this to
me, “If a woman is going to work in the
sex trade but wants to marry and have a
family, then the men she meets for
relationships must never, never, never
know what she does or did for a living.”
Another woman in the sex trade
confessed to a man before they married,
saying that she had only done it during
hard times and that she was through with
it. He did not like her past but he seemed
to accept it.
Years later, when they fell on
hard times, he asked her to help out by
returning to the sex trade to earn money
for them. My point? If he had never
known she did it, he would never have
thought of suggesting it. Once you put it
in their minds…it is there for future
reference when the glow of early
matrimony wears off.

Reasons To Stay Mum

When you have worked in the
sex trade and think that you should “fess
up” to a man, it sets you up for
unnecessary repercussions.
You think you are being open and
honest but you are not. You are being
selfish and using the man you love to
“make it okay” that you were a prostitute
by loving you “anyway.”
Why do that? He is not a
psychologist. He is not qualified to deal
with your life choices that may be in
conflict with his values or his ideal of
you. By telling him, you are adding
stress to his own life issues and
burdening his love for you.
Look, if you are not a prostitute
anymore, then let him love the
woman you are now. The truth is
not what you did in the past. Truth is
who you are now. Keep love a joy-
based truth of who you are now. If you
are a prostitute but he does not know,
then let him love the woman he believes
you are—because that IS really you. You
can stop when it is clear this is the
relationship you want.
What if he finds out years
later? Frankly, I doubt he ever will. But
if he does find out; you have created
enough of a good history together that
your relationship can probably sustain it.
It was something you did a long time
ago.
If he protests that you did not tell
him the truth, insist that you told him the
truth of the woman you really are. Play it
down. Make it less significant. Tell him
you are sure he has a few skeletons in
his own closet that you know nothing
about. Make as little of it as possible
and move on. If he cannot take it, you
still did the right thing by not telling him
beforehand; and I repeat, he probably
will never know.
Some very smart women will
never confess and will continue to deny
they were ever prostitutes, which lets a
man decide what he wants to believe.
Finally—never waste your time
being ashamed of yourself. You do what
you do or you did what you did and so
what! If you feel guilty or ashamed of
something, stop doing it. Do whatever
you need to do to feel good about
yourself. Change and don’t waste time
wallowing in shame. It will only bring
you down. Make changes and let it go.
I do think that when people feel
guilt or shame, they can honor those
feelings by changing their lives; but to
truly change, they must let go of what
they have done and adopt new behaviors
that help them love themselves again.
But once you are true to your own soul,
you do not owe a confession to anyone
else. Whatever you have done is
absolutely nobody’s business, ever!

Other Sex-Related
Professions
Exotic dancing is almost a Rite-
Of-Passage for young women today.
Frankly, it is a very commonplace
occupation today. And these young
women can definitely marry and some of
them quite well. One dancer appeared
on a national talk show and ended up
marrying the wealthy talk show host,
although they have since divorced,
although it had nothing to do with her
prior profession as a dancer.
If you are proud of it, you can
say you are a dancer; but because it is a
sex-related profession, “Keep your lip
zipped” if you are in a situation that you
think is questionable.
One wealthy wife told me that
when she was eighteen years old and
living on the West Coast, she became an
exotic dancer.
She dated a number of Rich Men
who came to the club, but the
relationships she had with them were not
satisfactory. Most of the RMs who came
to the club just wanted extracurricular
sex. Some were willing to set her up for
awhile. A few wanted to take her on
trips…but when they did not approach
the subject of marriage and she did, they
strung her along with promises that
never came through for her.
After she stopped dancing, she
moved to the mid-west where she met a
prominent physician who did not know
she had been an exotic dancer and they
became serious about each other.
Thinking she had to ‘confess,’ she told
him about her young stint as a dancer.
He thanked her for telling him
and said it did not make a difference in
his feelings. But it did. After a few
weeks, he suggested they delay getting
married, saying his work was demanding
more time. He did not take her to visit
his family anymore. In time, the
relationship fell apart. He never brought
up her past; but he treated her differently.
“Men just don’t look at you the
same way once you tell them you were a
topless dancer,” she said, “so I moved to
the East Coast and never told anyone—
not even girlfriends—about it.”
Keeping her past a secret, this
lady married very well twelve years ago
—and her husband has no idea she ever
worked in a sex-related trade. She loves
her husband enough not to drag him into
her past issues. They were her issues
and she handled them herself. Now, that
is proactive maturity.
Yes, there are a few RMs who
fall in love with and marry a prostitute
or a woman in the sex trade, usually men
in the entertainment business; but for
upper class businessmen, it is so rare
that your best bet is to keep your
‘business’ to yourself.
Which of the Rich Sex® styles
visit courtesans or seek exotic dancers
just for sex?

Typically the Romantic Rich

Sex® style will not seek courtesans or
dancers because he likes the “art” of
seduction and he feels that he does not
seduce a woman who is being paid for
sex. Her participation is assured and
therefore has nothing to do with his
romantic skills.

The Straight-Forward Rich

Sex® style may not be able to ‘perform’
sexually outside of a committed
relationship. If he can, he might hire a
courtesan from time to time.

The Traditionalist Rich Sex®

style will rarely do so because his self-
image is tied up in his sense of loyalty to
family. It can happen, but usually when
he is in college and his fraternity
brothers are advancing their knowledge
about sex; or much later in life if he
experiences a period of disillusionment
with his values, perhaps late mid-life
crisis.

A Challenge-Seeking Rich
Sex® style may hire prostitutes because
they are forbidden or because they
enable him to enjoy sexually taboo
behaviors.

An Over-Achieving Rich Sex®

style will have no qualms about hiring
courtesans to alleviate his high-strung
and intense sexual needs. He considers
their work justifiable and important.
 A Martyr Rich Sex® style is
less interested in helping courtesans
with their problems than he is with
rescuing a main-stream female who has
personal or physical problems he can
champion. A few Martyr Rich Sex®
styles have undertaken solving the
problems of a prostitute; but not many.

Love and Courtesans

Yes, some male customers may
fall in love with a courtesan and, at that
point, if they marry, it her profession is
of no real consequence to him.
One very wealthy oilman in
Texas hired prostitutes every time he
went to Fort Worth, Texas on business.
One woman stood out to him. He was
already married and loved his wife and
knew he would never divorce her; but he
cared very much for this woman.
So, he said to her, “I will take
you off the streets and set you up for the
rest of your life. You will have a nice
home of your own and good income if
you will remain faithful to me. I will
come to town every Wednesday to be
with you and I will conduct some
business while I am here to justify my
trips.
At that point, their relationship
changed from hiring her for a specific
sex act with no relationship—and she
became his mistress (next chapter).
 This man was in his early thirties
when he set her up and their relationship
lasted until his death in his sixties. His
marriage also lasted until his death and
his wife inherited his estate. He did not
name the former prostitute in his Will;
but he had already provided enough
money for her that she was all right.
It can happen; but just as often it
does not. So take care of yourself
without pinning your hopes on it.
Chapter 12

Rich Sex® And

Mistresses
Some women are mistress
types and some are wife types.
Most mistresses have bitchier
temperaments. Most
wives have demanding
standards.—Reed Sayles
 There is a huge difference
between prostitutes and mistresses. A
prostitute performs a specific sex act for
a specific amount of money at a specific
time and there is no emotional
relationship apart from that. But a
mistress is a woman who is typically in
an emotional relationship with man and
it also includes sex.
When an RM underwrites the
living expenses of a woman who is his
lover, she becomes a “kept woman”
which defines her as his mistress.
The term mistress is often used
to describe a woman who is having sex
with a married man; but among the Rich,
a mistress is a kept woman by a Rich
man.
A single Rich Man can have a
mistress just as easily as a married one,
if he underwrites a woman’s lifestyle.
There are two types of
Mistresses:

Type 1 Mistress—A
True Love Relationship
Even though she is receiving
money from an RM, a mistress in this
category is not a prostitute because she
is in a love relationship with her RM
and is not being paid for a particular sex
 act. Sex for her is an expression of love
for him.
She is more like a secret wife
and taken care of in the same manner as
a wife. She loves him and accepts the
fact that she may never be able to marry
him - or not yet; so she takes second
best.
He loves her, too, and does not
want to lose her; but for some reason he
does not feel free to marry her—even if
he is single—and so he undertakes her
financial obligations in a similar manner
as a wife.
Sometimes this pairing will
eventually marry. Until that day arrives,
however, she is second best—number
two—in status.
 A client of mine in Chicago was
mistress to a married RM for twenty-
five years. He had no children but he
loved his wife and he stayed married to
her.
When his wife died, he married
his mistress the very next year. He was
in his eighties and his mistress was now
in her early sixties.
But only two years after his first
wife’s death, he died, too. However, this
woman died two years after he did. She
was a mistress for twenty-five years; a
wife for one year; and a widow for two
years. He did not live long enough for
her to enjoy her status has his wife and
she did not live long enough to enjoy the
money she inherited as his widow.
 He left my client a sizable estate
but she had no children and she had been
estranged from her family because of her
relationship with him. I have no idea
what happened to her estate. Probably
her estranged family became less
estranged to her money with claims to it
through lawyers.
The only time she had to enjoy
him or his money were her twenty-five
years as his mistress…and she did have
the satisfaction of becoming his wife.
True, some RMs end up marrying
their mistresses; but most often, they do
not. The relationships can last years;
but when they end, it is for one of three
reasons:
 Reason 1: A Mistress Tires Of
Being Number Two And Finds
Someone Else

Most women who are kept by a

married rich man do tire of it,
eventually. It feels slightly humiliating to
live in the shadows of a wife who
carries the exalted Numero Uno status in
his life. And most mistresses eventually
seek that position for themselves with
someone else.
A married RM stashed his
beloved Mistress in an expensive high-
rise condominium near his office. He
truly cared for her but he also cherished
his married life and three children.
 From time to time, his mistress
expressed her desire for marriage and he
resorted to the old stand-by promise of
“someday” it would happen and bought
her an expensive gift.
One day, however, she met him
for lunch in an out-of-the-way bistro and
told him she was engaged to the man
who lived across the hall from her. He
was an accountant and an accomplished
violinist. In fact, she met him when she
knocked on his door to complain about
his practicing violin at night.
Her RM was devastated. At first
he tried his usual tactics of promising
“someday” and suggested they visit the
jewelry store to look for possible rings.
But she was not biting, anymore.
She was committed to marrying her
neighbor and that was all there was to it.
The game was over.
It was not over for him. After she
left, he flooded her with gifts and
telephone calls that she did not answer.
He showed up at her condominium but
she would not open the door.
And then – he asked his wife for
a divorce, moved out and filed for
divorce.
But it did no good. His mistress
was finished with him. She married her
accountant-violinist. As an aside, his
wife was finished with him, too. There
was no going back.
His mistress typifies many
women in these situations: being
number two gets old. An available RM
or a man who may have less money but
who makes you number one with
marriage is more appealing in the long
run.

Reason 2: The RM’s

Wife Threatens Financial
Ruin And He Yields
I knew a married RM whose
wife did exactly that and it worked.
They were members of one of the
best country clubs in the United States;
they both loved ballet and even had a
small foundation that helped support the
arts. They owned a sports team and
attended games together; plus they were
gourmets who enjoyed traveling the
world together, sampling fine food and
wine.
With all that in common, they
initially had a successful marriage and in
the first eight years of marriage, they had
five children. It was a happy, beautiful
marriage.
But as they rose through high
society, his beautiful, accomplished wife
socially outshined him. After a number
years of being left out by male peers and
watching his wife bask in the social
limelight, he felt increasingly as if he did
not exist…except as a prop for her.
Their pictures flooded the society pages
of newspapers but he remained ignored
among his financial equals.
One day during this period, an
out-of-town business associate invited
him to happy hour at a bar frequented by
average working class people. To his
surprise, these working class men and
women knew who he was and they were
impressed. For the first time since
college days, he was somebody – and
without his wife.
After that, he preferred
socializing among average people who
looked up to him. He made excuses to
his wife to get out of attending social
functions whose snobbery of him had
become painful.
When she objected, he began a
ritual of escorting her to events and after
an hour, excusing himself, leaving her to
socialize with those who ignored him
while he headed for the public bars to
hang out with ordinary people who
treated him as someone special.
Inevitably, at the bar one night,
he met a woman who was just as
beautiful as his wife. She was about the
same age as his wife and had three
children from a previous marriage. She
knew nothing about ballet and was not
interested in sports. But she had never
dated a man of his stature and with true
adoration, she made him feel important.
Inevitably, he fell head-over-heels in
love with her.
He immediately moved out of the
mansion he shared with his wife and five
children and into a beautiful
condominium with his new love. He
filed for divorce, determined to marry
his new love as soon as the divorce was
final.
His wife hired a powerful
attorney who pointed out that she was in
a winning position to take him to the
cleaners financially. After all, he had
abandoned her and their five children for
another woman. And most of his money
had been made while he was married to
her.
At first, he did not care. He just
wanted out. But cooler heads than his
pointed out how greatly reduced he
would be once the property had been
divided up in favor of his wife. Many
companies in which he held the majority
stock would be divided in such a way
that he would be financially vulnerable.
After two years of struggling
back and forth in futile negotiations, he
gave up. He wept openly before his true
love as he explained that he was going
back to his wife and children.
His wife had spelled out certain
terms: First, he would have to give up
the mistress; and second, he would have
to attend certain social events with her,
not just escort her there.
Although he agreed to her terms,
he had no intention of ending his
relationship with his true love. Instead,
he begged his true love to agree to a
secret arrangement. He meant it when he
swore she was the only woman he
would ever love and he vowed he would
take care of her as if they were married.
She would never have to work again.
Crushed and bitter, his true love
finally agreed to be his mistress. True to
his word, he had money set up for her
through a business partner; had a three-
story house built for her, furnished by a
decorator, and even had a well-known
artist paint her portrait which hung over
her fireplace.
Her children were sent to private
boarding schools for a good education –
and it also allowed her to be available
for him when he could get away.
They both viewed her position as
his mistress to be his ‘real marriage of
heart’ and thought it would work out.
As time passed, she disliked the
furtiveness of their meetings. He was
always looking over his shoulder and
would not take pictures together with
her.
Each Sunday, she opened the
newspaper to society pages that flashed
pictures of him and his wife at opening
nights and sport events and felt the
pictures should be of her with him.

After five years of frustration,

she began drinking quite a bit.
Eventually, she started each day with
Bloody Mary’s at breakfast, a shot of
whiskey in her coffee, vodka martini
lunches with or without him, cocktails
until dinner, and wine throughout dinner.
When he would arrive at her
house to see her, she was often tipsy or
outright sloppy drunk. For years, he
tolerated her drunken stupors, but
eventually, it eroded the relationship
until he could no longer tolerate it. Ten
years into the arrangement and one too
many drunken scenes, they broke up.
Tragically, she went from bar to
bar looking for men who could replace
him; but never found one. Most men she
met were turned off by her vapid
drunken stares; and, in the end, she died
in her forties of cirrhosis of the liver.
His wife won.
 Reason 3: The
Relationship Runs Its Course
And Ends
All relationships end. They
either end in separation and divorce or
they end in death; but they end. Accept it
and your love life will be easier.
The most difficult situation is the
relationship that ends for one person
before it ends for the other person.
Sometimes you know when it is ending;
other times, you may live in denial of it
for as long as possible.
When the love of consuming
passion morphs into friendship for one
or both; the romantic relationship that
once existed is over. They are no longer
a couple. It is a slippery slope that
slides down into taking each other for
granted and boredom. At that point, your
needs for passion are not being met.
A relationship enters its final
phase when one or both people
increasingly live separate lives; because
they eventually seek fulfillment with
other people.

Type 2 Mistress—A
Relationship Of
Convenience
 This woman is very different
from a woman who is in love. She is
very similar to a courtesan because she
seeks men for financial support.
However, she is providing a sexual
relationship—not just sex acts and she is
willing to be monogamous for the
duration of the arrangement.
There are some non-professional
courtesans who seek situations like this
for various reasons. Frequently, they are
young college students who need help on
various levels.
Some Mistresses of Convenience
are immigrant women who have a very
difficult time in their new country. They
do not want to resort to common forms
of prostitution but they are willing to be
a mistress to a fair and decent man.
There are many scenarios that
invite a woman to accept the kept
woman position as mistress to a Rich
married man.
One woman was pregnant and
wanted to keep her child. She advertised
in a publication, explaining her situation
of being pregnant and found a Rich Man
who was willing to help her. He handled
all her pregnancy expenses; and at the
end of the nine months, he was at her
side when her baby was born. It was an
arrangement he was willing to continue;
but when her child reached school age,
she got a job and moved out, eager for a
new life.
A few Mistresses of
Convenience are single mothers. Single
mothers make up the largest segment of
poverty in our nation. Those
who do not receive child support may be
glad to provide a one-on-one
relationship with one man who can only
see them occasionally.
Some Rich Men have mistresses
for convenience, too! An oilman in
Oklahoma used to keep several
mistresses. Sadly, most of these women
thought they were in a love relationship
with him and did not know about the
other mistresses.
When one of his mistresses was
upset because he would not marry her
and sent a message through one of his
friends that she was finished with him,
he only laughed and said, “She will get
over it when the rent is due.”
What a cad! He had offered to
undertake her expenses and told her he
loved her and would marry her some
day. She believed him and he was
exploiting her. It’s true, it’s true…not all
RMs deserve the love they get.

Keynotes Of A
Mistress Relationship
Whether she is mistress to an
RM out of love or for convenience – the
keynotes of a mistress relationship can
be defined to include:

1. It is ostensibly a
monogamous relationship with a man
who undertakes her expenses on a
meaningful level – and on a regular
basis. Usually, this includes her housing,
her car, her clothes, trips, spending
money, shopping sprees, insurance
needs, and a savings account.

2. The RM and mistress have

separate residences and separate friends
when they are not together. They do not
live together and they do not socialize
with the same people. Often they have
friends who are in the same boat – a
group of RMs and their mistresses, say,
who get together for certain events.

If You Choose To Be A
 Mistress
If you choose to be the mistress
of an RM—even if you think it is just
temporary until he gets a divorce—try
the following:
1. Have him set up a nice
portfolio of investments that he also
has a stake in. Get the names of
stockbrokers he trusts for financial
advice.
2. Own property. Have him buy
you a house or a condominium. Not just
a down payment—have him buy it for
you. However, if the best you can get out
of him is a down payment, it is better
than nothing. You may want a beautiful
duplex in a nice part of town, perhaps
near a prestigious university. If all else
fails, you can live in one side and rent
out the other.
3. Open a Roth IRA or Keogh
as well as a savings account. You may
want to incorporate a small company
name or go into business with his
backing. You would be flabbergasted at
the numbers of successful single
businesswomen who got the financing
and great mentoring they needed from an
RM who bankrolled their business ideas
4. Remember that diamonds
(emeralds & rubies, too) are among a
girl’s best friends—so don’t just sing the
song and think it is cute—ask for
jewelry. Platinum is your metal of
choice because it is the most expensive;
but stock up on 18-24 carat gold, too.
5. Ask him to put you in his Will.
He can list you as someone who is a
friend or any other way he wants to, if he
worries that it would embarrass his
children or wife. Keep in mind, though,
that a Will can be changed, so all ‘here
and now’ assets are your best bet.
Nevertheless, ask for hereafter
remembrances.

REMEMBER…It Will
Not Last Forever
“I became his mistress when I
was twenty-five years old,” A gray-
haired woman in her late sixties
confessed to me. “His company was in
the early stages of development and with
three little boys to support, the cost of a
divorce would wreck his business plans.
He was just getting off the ground.
“But he loved me and said if I
would work alongside him in his
company until his business was on solid
footing, he would divorce his wife and
marry me. To prove his sincerity, he
assigned shares in the company to me.
He said it was a type of marriage…
working together, building the business
together…and owning it together since I
would have company shares.”
Looking down at her aging
hands, she recounted the hard work they
put into the enterprise until, at last his
company was successful. He was a
millionaire and her shares plus her
salary gave her a comfortable living,
too.
“We had planned to marry; but
his two youngest boys were in junior
high school and the oldest was in high
school by the time his business
succeeded. He was crazy about his boys
so he suggested we wait until they all
three finished high school – before he
asked their mother for a divorce.”
The woman leveled sad blue
eyes at me. “I didn’t realize it then but
his sons had moved into first place,
ahead of me. He was attending their
football games and getting more
involved in their lives. I saw less and
less of him except at work.
“By the time the boys finished
high school, he wanted them to go to
college and said we had waited this
long; we could wait until they got their
college degrees. He was afraid a
divorce would split the loyalty of his
sons in favor of their mother and he
couldn’t stand that. Once they were
older, they would better understand.”
For a moment she said nothing,
her eyes gazing into the distance. When I
started to ask a question, she roused,
shifted, and interrupted me to finish her
story.
“As one boy after the other
finished college, they came to work for
their dad. He did not want any close
familiarity between us because they
might pick up on his relationship with
me, so he had me handle company jobs
away from the office. Besides, he said
he didn’t think it was right to have the
boys getting close to me yet.
“Soon, the boys themselves were
getting married and starting families and
he and his wife were caught up in being
grandparents. He took me on two trips
each year. We saw each other alone for
an hour or two every other week. We
were not making love much anymore
because he said he was getting to the age
where he was having problems.
“And then his wife died.”
“How long ago was that?” I
asked when she seemed unable to say
more.
She held up three fingers, “Just
over three years ago. I couldn’t believe
how torn up he was about it. He said he
felt guilty and didn’t think we should see
each other anymore.
“And now…now he says he
wants to turn over the company to his
sons and he wants me to assign all my
shares back. Not buy them back, mind
you. He wants me to give them back.”
It was my turn to shift
uncomfortably. “I hope you will not do
that,” I said, “You are retirement age
now and you are going to need it for
your own life. He cheated you of
marriage and family. Now, he is trying to
cheat you out of the money you earned.
And, believe me, you definitely earned
it.”
“Well…” she said in a tone that
made my spirits fall, “he said he will
marry me if I assign the shares to him but
that he will never see me again if I
don’t.”
She finally started to cry but kept
a steady voice, “I want him, not the
shares. That is all I ever wanted and I
will give it all back to him if he will just
marry me. I can’t bear not seeing him.”
I interrupted. “See a lawyer,
now. Please. Call today and schedule it
as fast as you can. He lied about
marrying you before, and he is lying
about it now. If he intended to marry you,
he would marry you. His wife passed
away three years ago and his sons would
understand his getting married again.
There is no reason for him not to.
“If he will not marry you while
you have the shares; he certainly won’t
marry you when you don’t.
“He knows how much you care
and that he has the upper hand. Don’t let
him play on your emotions to manipulate
you. I am afraid he has you just where he
wants you and without legal protection,
you might give in. Promise me you won’t
talk to him until you see a lawyer.”
“But Ginie, if I see a lawyer, it
will all be over.” She mopped her eyes
with a tissue I handed her.
Wrapping an arm around her
shoulders, I said as gently as I could, “It
is already over. It has been over for him
for many, many years. He loved you
once – and the only piece of that love
that you still have are the company
shares. If you give them back him, you
will not even have the love he gave you
back then – because he is not going to
marry you. See a lawyer.”
This is one of those consultations
that I wish had turned out well; but
before going to an attorney as I asked her
to, she called her RM and threatened him
that she was going to see a lawyer.
He showed up at her doorstep
with flowers and promises and even
showed her a travel brochure to choose
where they would go on their
honeymoon…after she reassigned the
shares to him. And they would marry, he
reassured her, on the same day she
reassigned the shares to him.
She did.
He didn’t.
She is now not only an old
woman, but with financial problems,
now. I was crushed by her willingness to
trust a man who had let her down so
many times before.
Being a cherished mistress does
not last forever. Yes, being his mistress
can last fifty or so years – but your
exalted position as the all-consuming
passion of his life will not last forever.
Typically, you end up tolerating
slights and neglect in a mistress
relationship that endures more than ten
years - even if the money does not stop –
and to the mistresses who love their
RMs, the neglect is worse.
He may even cheat on you – or,
to complicate matters, he may have a
second mistress. You probably suspect it
but do not know – or cannot afford to
know.
Anytime a man – married or not
– keeps postponing marriage, begin
stockpiling everything you can get from
him to protect your old age (that you
think will never come, but will). All
relationships end – either in death or
divorce. Either way, take care of
yourself.
Remember…it will not last
forever.
Chapter 13

Rich Sex® And

Living Together
Living together means you
both desire a closer
relationship
that may or may not become
more.—Reed Sayles
 I tell the following story in my
highly acclaimed relationship book,
The Seduction Mystique, but it
bears repeating here because woman and
man in the story were wealthy, which is
the basis of this book.
Clarissa was involved with a
Rich Man for thirteen years; but when he
suggested they move in together, she
refused – thinking she was holding out
for marriage. Several times over the
thirteen year period, he said, “Come on,
Clarissa, let’s move in together for six
months and see if we want to get
married.”
Her answer was always the
same. “Living together means you are
not sure. I only want what is sure.”
 What Living Together
Means

Living together can mean one of

you is not sure about marriage; but it
also means you both desire a closer
relationship. In many ways, you are
moving toward marriage by moving in
together, even though marriage may or
may not be the end result.
Love is a risk, yes; but it is a risk
worth taking!
As for Clarissa - six months is
not that big a risk. Three months is better
if you can negotiate it. Six months is half
a year but that is better than thirteen
years! Clarissa could have moved in
for six months. Within six months, she
would have known and so would he.
At the end of six months, she
might not want to marry him. But if she
did and if he still claimed not to be sure;
Clarissa would have her answer – which
is no more waiting – and could get on
with her life. Thirteen years is too long
to wait for a man, period.
If Clarissa did not want to live
with him first, that is fine; but she should
have given herself a deadline for him
to decide and then stopped seeing him
and stuck with it. Better yet, she could
have dropped the matter, started dating
other men to find one who was serious
and moved on with her life.
 Instead, she put her on life on
hold—and stayed ‘stuck’—waiting for
him to change. She lost thirteen years of
her life.
Two people learn how to relate
to each other during the early love-struck
period. The closer they are physically,
the better so living together first can
work as long as marriage is planned
within a few months if they are
compatible. All Clarissa and her RM
learned was how to live apart, not how
to live together.
Holding out for marriage did not
work in this case. It became a power
play with no winners. The stalemate
won.
Not Live Alone
 I think it can be better to live
with someone you love—even if he is
clear that he will not marry you, than to
live your entire life without living with a
man either in marriage or out of it.
Women who have lived with a man—
with or without marriage—know how to
relate with men.
They understand living with
someone. They are more flexible, soft,
sensual, and have an inner instinct about
men. They have ‘humanness’ about
frailties and shortcomings in people.
Women who have lived with a
man, with or without marriage, can
cultivate relationships with men easier
than women who have never lived with
a man.
However, living together is the
wrong choice, if you think you will be
grossly miserable about it. In some cases
it can be the best opportunity for you to
find out if you can live together – and
some RMs do change their minds and
decide to marry. Even so, if an RM has
said going in that he is not interested in
anything more, accept it for however
long it lasts. It is okay to see if he has
changed his mind after six months to one
year – and then do whatever you
consider best for your goals at the time.
If he remains adamant, either
accept it and stay put (and enjoy the
financial benefits) or move out and stay
moved out (just don’t use it as a ploy
that may backfire) – but either way,
refuse to be bitter about it – you have
benefited from the experience.
If he says yes, someday, but
someday never comes, then set a
deadline for yourself – not for him – and
move out at that time.
Moving in together is a serious
step: it means you and an RM both
desire a closer relationship. And that is
fine in and of itself as long as you are
both okay with it.

How To Benefit From

Living Together
If you are living with a Rich
Man, there should be financial benefits
for you – credit cards, savings account,
some investments, car, clothes, et cetera.

Most Important
Question If Your Goal Is
Marriage
Many marriages begin with a
trial run of living together. If you want
to marry this RM, the most important
question you will want answered before
you live with him, is this: “Has he ever
lived with a woman before and later
married her?”
If so, how long? Did they marry?
Did he marry a woman he did not live
with? If he has been married more than
once, did he live with one he did marry
and one he did not marry?
His answers are vital as to
whether or not you live with him first if
your goal is to marry him. If he has
lived with a woman and later married
her, chances are, he will do so again.
People are repeaters. We all tend to
repeat behaviors. However, don’t live
with him before marriage as long as she
did, or your marriage may follow the
same divorce pattern, too.
If, on the other hand, he has lived
with women and never married them,
back off! This man is not someone you
should move in with - certainly not if
you expect to marry him. There is
always an outside chance of it
happening, but it is not likely.
If he is a man who lived with his
first wife before he married her, but has
since lived with women without
marriage, it can go either way.

Brief Forerunner To Marriage.

You can always tell a man, up front, that
you don’t mind living together a month
or two first, but that at that point, you
want to get married. Get your blood tests
and your marriage license before you
move in together.
If he agrees to your terms, you
should only talk and behave as if you are
getting married. Three weeks into the
situation, when everything is especially
mushy and close, during a spontaneous
moment of fun and excitement, have the
name and address of a minister in your
purse, along with your marriage license,
for a sudden, romantic ‘I do’!

Live Together To Work

Out Problems Before
Marriage?

What about ‘working out

problems in the relationship’ before you
get married?
Are you kidding me? Why on
earth should anyone do that with a man
who has not married her? That is what
marriage is a commitment to do.
Listen to the marriage vows. Do
they say, “I, Suzy, now that you, Jake,
have gotten your act together and worked
out all your problems in our
relationship, do here take thee as my
problem-free husband because the rest is
easy?”
Hardly! It is “I, Suzy, now take
you, Jake, for better or for worse ,
in sickness, and in health, for richer,
for poorer (in other words, whatever
the problems may be), till death us
do part.” Now, that’s a commitment to
work out problems! That is what
wedding vows are for – the promise to
work out unforeseen problems. – Not
merely accept the problems; but work
them out.
Don’t believe anyone who says
that you can ‘work out’ problems before
you get married. Marriage contains its
own set of problems that cannot be
‘worked out beforehand.’ That is
because marriage operates under a
completely different set of rules.
My final feeling about marriage
as opposed to living together is this: If
you are going to have all the headaches
of a marriage, if you are going to have to
put up with all the adjustments and
problems of marriage, and if the
relationship stands as much a chance of
ending in heartbreak as marriage, you
may as well be married.
After all, when it is over, it hurts
just as much as divorce, but at least you
have the comfort of knowing it was a
relationship you both cared enough about
at one to time to give it your best shot!
But whether or not the two of you
decide to get married, and although you
may not hold the “legal position” of
number one as a wife; you are his
primary relationship for the duration of
living together.
Chapter 14

Rich Sex® And His

Ex
“All my Exes live in Texas”
(community property state)
—George Strait song

An “Ex” can be an ex-wife, an

ex-lover, an ex-mistress, or an ex-live-
in. Just because a couple has broken up
does not mean the relationship is fully
over. And this can be sticky, sticky stuff.
(At least with a prostitute there
is no lingering angst because there is no
relationship, just a paid sex act; but)
with a relationship, there can be
considerable pain for one or the other…
and even vengeance in some cases…
when it is over.
Former lovers, ex-wives, and
children are part of relationship terrain
today, so you need to know the lay of the
land and have a good clear roadmap for
navigating your way around in it.
Otherwise, you can get so lost in a maze
of previous relationship subtleties that
you feel like Dr. Livingston who
disappeared many years ago in the wilds
of Africa!

Former Lovers
Former lovers are pretty simple.
A former lover usually does not have
children by your man, although she may
have. If so, pay attention to the
information about ex-wives, because she
fits more in that category than in this one.
A former lover who writes
letters, hangs around, calls him, shows
up at his place, and makes a general pest
of herself is obsessed with your man.
She is not emotionally finished with him.
And, she hangs on to the idea that she
can rekindle his interest in her.
 You have to figure out if he is
enjoying the game, even though he
complains about her; or if he really
wants to be rid of her.
If she is just a pest and he wants
to be rid of her after a break-up of recent
break-up, he will not answer his
telephone. If he is tricked into a
telephone call from her, he will make a
transparent excuse why he cannot call,
telling her he will call back and not
doing so. Or he will tell her not to call
anymore or he will hang up.
If she comes around, he will
have a reason he cannot see her and will
leave immediately. He may even tell her
he is involved with someone else,
hoping that will sink in.
 If she is a vengeful pest, and if he
really wants to be rid of her, you will
know it. He will have his telephone
numbers changed. He may move. If
necessary, he will have a restraining
order placed on her by the court. If she
violates it, he will have her put in jail.
On the other hand, if he enjoys
the game, he will take calls, read letters
from her, and so on, even though he
complains about it and tells you he
wants to be rid of her. If that is the case,
do not hang around waiting for him to
come to his senses. He consents to her
game. It is a depraved courtship. Move
on.
 Ex-Wives
If an ex-wife has married again
or has her life together and does not call
except to say what time she will drop by
to pick up the kids, consider yourself in
dreamland. This is a woman you can be
pleasant with when she crosses your
path.
However – even though you like
her; do not make the mistake of thinking
you and she can be friends. You should
never be friends.
Why not? Because your intimate
relationship with your mate has to be
your top priority and should never be
watered down by being the buddy of his
ex-wife.
 Her views of him can influence
your view of him. You could end up
having the same relationship with him
just because you anticipate the same
problems, based on what she has said.
And what she tells you may be out of her
own hidden agenda of not wanting to see
him happier with someone else.
An ex-wife who acts as if she is
a friend can be more deadly in her effect
on the children, because her influence on
the children is so subtle. Whereas she
may want her children to have a
relationship with their father, she does
not want the children to have a better
relationship with their father than with
her. If she thinks that might happen, she
will fill their heads with subtle
criticism, deriding his life, laughing at
his choices, criticizing the activities the
RM plans with them.
More than anything else, the
‘nice’ wife does not want her children to
end up liking you too much. She feels
competitive for her children’s affections
and does not want them associating you
as a type of mommy replacement since
you are with Daddy.
It is a rare ex-wife who is not
just slightly curious and maybe slightly
jealous about you as her replacement
with her former husband. Residue ego
may cause her to compare you with
herself in her own mind. Behind your
back, she may not be as nice as she
seems to be to your face.
 She may also be ‘nice’ as a way
of disarming you to gather information
from you. She may be a genuinely nice
woman; but to play it safe, watch your
conversation with her and with the
children – who will certainly pass on to
her anything that is said. Be sweetly
vague if she or the children ask the
following questions:
—Are you planning
to get married? This is a loaded
question. Disarm anyone who asks by
saying, “We’re just friends,” even if
you and your mate have discussed
getting married.
—How serious are
you two? Same answer as above.
 —How long will you
be here? “I don’t know.”
—What kind of plans
have you made for the
holidays? You say, “I don’t know,
yet,” even if you do. Or say, “Oh, the
holidays! They seem to creep up on
everybody, don’t they? What are you
and the children doing for the
holidays?”
—How do you feel
about Sam (your new man,
her ex-husband)? “We are just
friends.” Or “He is very good with
Jake and Annie (their children).” You
 have deflected the question away
from you and Sam—to Sam and her
children.
—How often do your
children see their father?
This is another loaded question. Say,
“As often as possible.” Say this even
if your children’s father never visits
your children.
If an ex-wife of an RM did not
have children by him, she belongs in the
category for former lovers, because
there is no reason for her to have any
contact with him, at all.

His Ex and Your

 Children
His Ex will be even more
concerned about her children’s
relationship with their father if you also
have children. Worried that he may
become a ‘father figure’ to your children,
she will be curious about the role your
children’s father will play if you marry
the RM.
So, even if you loathe your
children’s father, do not reveal
how you feel about him - and
do not discuss his visits with
her. If you do, it will come back to
haunt you later.
 She will certainly mention
whatever you have told her about your
ex-husband to her own children and they
will talk about it to your children, maybe
cruelly.
If you have children she is
concerned that Sam may end up being
more father to them than to their
children. Most of these questions will be
asked when she comes by to pick up her
children.
On any questions about your
children, their father, or their activities
with the RM, you give a vague reply and
change the subject by telling her
about a movie you and Sam took the
children to see. Tell it scene by scene if
you have to in order to avoid further
personal conversation.
Or, instead of answering her, just
glance at your wristwatch and say, “I’d
love to talk longer, but I have to make a
call right now. It was great having the
children with us. I think they are telling
the baby-sitter good-bye now. Nice to
see you, Pat.” and go!
She may truly like you or she
may only seem truly to like you. It
makes no difference. Your behavior is
the same. If she is not a troublemaker, be
nice, be friendly, but be smart—protect
your relationship from ex-wife
influence on you.
 Problem Ex-Wives

A troublesome ex-wife
will pull out all the stops -
guilt, blame, and shame. And
she knows all the RM’s hot buttons to do
it, too.
For example: His duty, his
obligation, and his responsibility.
Blame, accusation, and more criticism.
And, furthermore, according to her, it’s
your entire fault. He is putting you
before his very own flesh and blood—
the innocent children who were in his
life before you (his new love interest)
were—shame, shame, and more shame!
 Don’t put up with problem ex-
wives. Any ex-wife who still calls him
for advice or comes over is infringing on
your relationship with your RM. She has
no rights to fairness or to anything else
—that is why she is an ex.
An ex-wife with children by your
man may seem to think—and so may he
—that his ex and he have an obligation
to talk to each other and to be part of
each other’s lives because of the
children they share. But that is not
necessarily so, either!
You need analyze the frequency
and the type of interaction she has with
him.
—Have they slept together
occasionally since they divorced?
 —Do they spend Christmas
together with the children?
—Do they have lengthy talks on
the telephone several times a week?

—Do they meet for coffee or

dinner when he brings the children back
from visitation or vice versa?

Psychologically Still
Married—Not
Consummated The Divorce

If so, your RM is still

married psychologically and
only technically divorced. They have not
consummated their divorce.
Their conversations are
peppered with ‘My Ex’. “My Ex
did this…” or “My Ex did that...” This
is no different from saying “My wife
did this...” or “My wife did that...”
The word ‘my’ is a personal
pronoun that shows possession. The
possessive use of the pronoun ‘my’
denotes a lingering connected
relationship with her. All divorced
people occasionally use this expression,
especially if they are around other
people who are talking about their ex’s
that way; but when it is used a lot, it can
represent a continuing status of
possessive connection.
When a man’s divorce has been
emotionally consummated, he usually
says “Pat (or whatever her name is) did
this...” or “Josh’s mother did that...” or
“The woman I was married to at the time
did so and so...”
In order to be emotionally free,
people must divorce not only on paper,
but also divorce each other’s
possessions, divorce each other in their
behavior toward each other, and divorce
each other in their speech references to
each other.

Mixed Message
Fantasies
 Children can get a mixed-
message about the relationship from
hearing this type of talk. They may then
live in a perpetual fantasy of getting their
parents back together and consider it
their responsibility to make it happen.
That’s a big, tough job for a little child
to feel saddled with—and all because of
Mom’s and Dad’s mixed messages.
And you? Oh, you get caught in
the middle of this with your own fantasy,
too, if you are not careful.
How can you be careful?
Simple. Do not try to be
fair to a ex-wife who is
floating around in the
periphery of your relationship
with your man. If you do, she can
make turkey stuffing out of you!!!
You will be giving her far too
much advantage with him because you
will be acting as if you are in
second place; as if she is really in
first place because she was there first
and was once legally married to him and
you are not. You will be acting as if she
has rights—and she does not. The day
her divorce was final, she lost all her
rights.
Worse, by trying to be fair to her,
you will be acting as if you are only a
substitute for her. Nothing could put you
in a weaker position.
Fairness to her is not your job.
That is the job of his lawyer and her
lawyer. You will come up short if you
try to win the Nobel peace prize in your
man’s former marriage. Make it clear to
your man that once you and a man have
verbally agreed to have a sexually
exclusive relationship, you owe your
allegiance to each other over anyone
else. You must clearly proclaim the
superiority of your position in his life.
You must be territorial about your
rights and what he owes you over her, or
you will lose him.
 No Trophies For
Second Place
I must credit my husband for
teaching me that if you are second to his
children, then you are second to his
former wife. This means that you—in his
present life are second place to his past
—which means you don’t have a future.
Don’t accept second place to a man’s
past.
“There are No Trophies For
Second Place,” said the late Vince
Lombardi, famous coach of the Green
Bay Packers who took his team to the
top of the National Football league with
that slogan. His words are so inspiring
that they are often framed in the offices
of highly successful business people.
The same is true for a highly
successful relationship or marriage. You
can ask your RM if he intends to live in
the past or in the present. The present
cannot be ruled by his marriage. He is
still their father; but he is not still in the
situation he had when he was living with
them. Remind him of the mixed messages
children get and that he must make it
clear to them for their sake as well as
for the sake of your relationship with
each other.

Where Do Children Fit

Into Your Relationship With
 Him?
So where do children fit into
your relationship with your RM?—As
children, period. You have an adult
relationship with him. His children—
and your children too—should NEVER
be allowed to violate the adult
relationship you and he have together.
That means you and your RM
must set ground rules that the children
cannot play you against each other—and
that you will always back each other in
their presence. If you need to have a
private talk later when they are out of
earshot, fine; but all decisions need to be
reinforced as a unit in front of the
children.
 You should both be kind—and
fair—to each other’s children, and at the
same time stay aware of the fact that
their relationship with each of you is that
of children, no matter how old they are.

Discussing An Ex-Wife
Or Former Lover
When you discuss any ex-wife or
former lover, do not accuse him of still
caring for her. And do not remind him of
how badly she treated him. That gives
her too much credit, too much power.
Instead, when you speak of her,
do so as if you consider her pitiful,
pathetic, a loser, powerless, inferior.
Remind your man that since the
divorce is final there is no reason for
contact between her and him for advice
or help of any kind.

The Bottom Line

“Ex” means “no more rights.”
Ex means no more anything to this man’s
life. This is all the more true if there are
no children. But even if there are
children, the rights of an Ex are zero.
Chapter 15

Is Rich Sex® Right

For You?
You only rise as high in life as
your comfort level;
so increase your zone of
comfort—Ginie Sayles

Not all women are cut out for a

Rich Sex® lifestyle with a Rich man and
that is fine; but there are some women
who successfully make the transition into
a Rich Life. And it is a transition if your
background is very different from his.
You only rise as high as your
comfort level. So, to enjoy a Rich Sex ®
lifestyle, you have to be willing to raise
your comfort level – and to do the work
required to do it if you are not born into
wealth.
My two books How To
Marry The Rich and How To
Meet The Rich for Business,
Friendship, or Romance, tell
you exactly, step-by-step, how to do that.
And unless you grew up wealthy, I want
to give you two examples of what I
mean.
There are two types of women
who face the challenge of raising their
comfort levels with their RMS.
One type of woman is conscious
that her background is far less than that
of the Rich man with whom she has
fallen in love. But she wants a life with
him and she is willing to learn how to
cope with situations that are over her
head.
She is willing to make mistakes,
to fail at times, to have some
embarrassing moments and yet in doing
that, to learn how to handle them. She is
willing to keep trying and to work on her
social skills and to learn how to rise in
his world.

EXAMPLE 1
I recall a woman who grew up in
a lower working- class background who
finished high school and enrolled at a
state college. A girl at the school fixed
her up on a blind date with a young man
who was a senior in a nearby Ivy League
college and they fell for each other on
the very first date.
Soon, he was traveling back and
forth to see her at school and by the end
of the term, he asked her marry him.
When she went home at Christmas and
told her parents about it; her father was
alarmed. He knew the family’s name and
he knew the boy she wanted to marry
was from one of the richest families in
the country. Her father was decidedly
against the marriage.
“You don’t know what you are
getting into,” he warned, “These people
are very, very different from us and they
will expect more from you than you can
imagine [much like Sarah Ferguson who
married Prince Andrew in England and
then realized it was more than she
wanted to handle]. You don’t know
anything about that kind of life. They
will judge you by a harsh yardstick
because you are not from their class.
Don’t do it.”
But…this young lady only patted
his back and said, “I think I can handle
it, Dad.”
And she has indeed handled it.
She dared to marry out of her financial
class in spite of the fact that people
considered her a gold digger—and why
did they think that? She wasn’t. They
said such things for no other reason than
because she was poor. In fact, she really
did love him.
In the first five years of their
marriage, she worked up the slippery
slope of acceptance. She ignored the
judgmental silences of those who wished
to exclude her and she concentrated on
working very, very hard on charitable
involvements. She made mistakes. And
she had a number of very embarrassing
moments when she did not know which
silverware to use at a very formal dinner
or when she said the wrong comments at
the wrong time.
But she did not let her
mistakes stop her. She did not let
her embarrassments stop her. She did not
let the judgmental silences that excluded
her stop her. She just kept going,
concentrating on learning.
In this way, she gave
herself permission to be
wrong. She gave herself permission to
make mistakes. She gave herself
permission to be embarrassed. But she
never gave anyone permission to stop
her—and she dismissed her
mistakes and embarrassing
moments as part of the
learning curve—which it was—and
she acted as if whatever she did wrong
was nothing. After a few years, the old
guard backed down and warmed to her.
They began to admire her for the
woman she was becoming and, in time,
she began to be nominated for leadership
positions in the art areas she liked and
the charities she supported.
One note: When she married her
upper class Rich husband, she knew
nothing about art or charities or formal
dinners. But she staked her claim,
anyway, by taking it on and learning to
be the successful wife of an RM and the
equal of anyone in his financial setting.
She raised her Comfort
Level until she became
comfortable in these
unfamiliar surroundings.
This woman knew her husband
held all the cards, financially, but she
was determined to be his social equal
among his peers and to move among
them with ease.
He was controlling but he began
to admire her achievements for the two
of them as a couple so that he loosened
the reins from time to time and she
eventually gained considerable control
not only in the relationship but
financially, as well.
 “I think I can handle it.” That is
what she told her father and like the little
train that said, “I think I can,” she did.
She forced herself to learn how
to be comfortable in a rich life.
Remember, you only rise as high as your
comfort level – and it is up to you to
decide on the level where you want to
be comfortable and force yourself to stay
in it until you are. This woman raised
her comfort level.

Comfort Level Is The

Difference
Another type of woman from the
same lower working class background,
who is presented with the same
opportunity to marry a Rich man she
loves, may be willing to marry him in
the early days of optimistic excitement
of being in love; but she may not be
willing to stake her claim as an equal
among his social peers. She may not be
willing to raise her comfort level.
Some women from a poor
background who marry up never force
themselves to become comfortable –
which is the only way to feel equal in
their rich marriages. These women are
often self-conscious about their
backgrounds and do not make the effort
to improve their social skills enough to
fit in with other Rich wives.
 Feeling they don’t fit in, their
self-esteems naturally become
increasingly fragile and they may even
feel more and more inferior, self-
conscious, uncomfortable, out-of place –
and as if they do not have any control.
Such a woman is overly
conscious of her background as a draw-
back and not seeing herself as the
champion she can be if she forces
herself to become comfortable in that
setting.
A woman who feels this way -
after a few embarrassing social moments
- may withdraw or feel resentment. Or
she may feel that because her Rich
husband holds all the cards financially,
that she has no control in the
relationship.

EXAMPLE 2
One such woman from a poor
lower working class family married a
billionaire; yet she divorced him to
marry their garbage collector. I met this
woman.
My thoughts are that she got did
it partly as a slap in her Rich husband’s
face. He knew people were laughing at
him. Worse, it now it seemed they had
been right about her being beneath him –
but only because she was not willing to
accept her embarrassing moments and
to keep moving forward, learning and
growing into the responsibilities of
being his wife. She was not willing to
raise her comfort level.
This woman will never have to
worry about money again because of the
huge settlement she received from her
divorce in a community property state.
Plus – (and I think this is most
important to her)- she is the top dog in
her new marriage, even though she
claims she and her second husband are
living on his salary as a garbage
collector. Maybe this is true and maybe
not. I don’t know. Her clothes and
jewelry looked awfully fine to have
come from his income and perhaps they
are left over from her marriage to the
billionaire.
 But the truth is, even if they do
live on her husband’s garbage collecting
income; in the back of both their minds,
they know the money she got in the
divorce from her ex-husband is “there”
if serious hard times hit or illness or
perhaps is wanted to supplement
retirement.
To the garbage collector, the
wife of a billionaire was his trophy wife
– and what a trophy! He certainly
married up because the money is there if
they ever decide to use it – and I suspect
they may to some extent, anyway.
You may have noticed that when
she cheated on her husband, it was not
with someone of her husband’s station.
No. It was the trash collector she met
when he was coming down her alley.
This woman felt intimidated or
outclassed by her husband and his
friends or other men of his ilk - and she
did not have the moxie to tough it out and
win her right to his life by elevating her
comfort level.
So, when she met a man from her
own background – or in this case, from a
lower background than her own; she
viewed him as non-threatening and she
was able to relax and to feel
comfortable (there is that word,
“comfortable,” again,) – and she may
have even felt a little superior, which
could have been a nice feeling for her.
She had only exchanged roles
with her ex-husband.
 Now, she was the Rich Sex® for
the garbage collector. How many of the
other garbage collectors on his garbage
truck were having sex with the wife of a
billionaire? - And in the luxurious
bedroom of a mansion he had only seen
from the alley before she took him inside
for sex. Talk about his having a trophy
wife!
One thing was certain. She no
longer had to feel inferior to other wives
at teas or socials or charities or ballets
or operas or theater events or sporting
events. And she no longer had to endure
her husband’s demanding work schedule
or work-related absences for the
businesses he owns.
No indeed, her city-employee
husband is home every night in time for
dinner in front of the television until
bedtime. And this is comfortable for her.
So, good for her!
But it did not have to be that
way. It was only because she was not
willing to confront her inner demons of
feeling inferior in order to raise her
comfort-level. She simply went back to
living within her undeveloped comfort
level. One good note, though – she
certainly did take a lot of money with
her!

No Judgment
So it does happen that some
women discover that as good as Rich
Sex® is, it is a little ‘too rich’ for their
blood, too rich for their appetites and
too rich for their comfort levels.
And you know what? I don’t
judge them for that. I think it is important
to feel equal in a marriage and to feel
comfortable – and feeling comfortable
certainly allows you enjoy sex even
more, even if it is in a trailer park rather
than on a cruise ship in the Aegean Sea.
Feeling equal, valued and fulfilled is,
after all, most important.
Only you can decide if Rich
Sex® is what you want – both sexually
and as a lifestyle. If not, that is fine –
and don’t let anyone make you feel
otherwise about it.
If you do want a Rich Sex®
lifestyle and you have a humble
background, then be willing to raise your
comfort level. Be willing to do things
wrong in the process of learning to do
them right – and keep on going, just as
you learned to walk by taking baby
steps, then falling down and getting up
again and taking a few more baby steps
until you not only could walk – you
could run !
In the same way, you will
triumph over circumstances that seem to
be over-your-head because you will
gradually raise your comfort level – and
be able to say to anyone who
disapproves of you in your Rich Sex®
relationship, “I think I can handle it.”
And you WILL.
Chapter 16

Rich Sex® On The

Go
Travel spots are great places
for meeting RMs and they
often feel more open to
meeting you—Ginie Sayles

By now, you have determined if

you think Rich Sex® is right for you.
And if you know it is—or if you just
want to find out if it is—then let’s get
back to the fun side of Rich Men.
In my best-selling book How
To Marry The Rich and the sequel
How To Meet The Rich for
Business, Friendship, or
Romance, I pull out the stops and tell
you where they are in your daily life and
how to find them, date them, and even
ploys to get married to them.
For that type of information to
use in your daily life, I refer you to those
two books.
I want to close this section of the
book on CDs by sharing information I
gave in an interview with a New York
Times reporter when I asked how
women can meet Rich Men when they or
you are traveling or on vacation.
That’s a fun, fun way to meet
them.
Travel spots are great
places for meeting RMs.
When an RM is traveling, he is
in a more open frame of mind about
meeting a woman. It is as if travel brings
out a light sense of adventure and he
wants to make his free time more
interesting.
If he is traveling on business, he
often considers the after-business hours
as time to enjoy some of the local flavor
in sights, sounds, and foods. I met a
wealthy British businessman from South
Africa who was in Boston on business.
After his meetings were over, he
took a tour of Boston. I was also on the
tour and we had a good time chatting
about the history of Boston covered by
the tour guide.
By the end of the tour, I agreed to
have dinner with him and he insisted on
taking me to dinner every night for the
rest of the week before I returned to
Texas. He called frequently and offered
to fly me to South Africa.
The timing was not right for me
because I had just started dating Reed,
whom I married a few months later; but
the man was a real winner. Also on the
tour were Norwegian engineers in town
for business, too. It was a woman’s
dream tour!
But that is the good luck you can
have with travel—of meeting RMs on
the go—they want romance and magic
just as much as you do.
So take a few expensive tours in
major cities and chat up with affluent
looking gentlemen.

Hotels
You can also meet RMs at the
best hotels of just about any city. How
do you know which hotels will have
Rich men?
 You have 7 keys for finding
hotels frequented by the rich:

1. Follow the Food—Chefs

are the new celebrities for the rich. If the
food is good, the Rich will be there.
Many hotels and inns are built around
sumptuous fare. One example is The Inn
At Little Washington outside of
Washington DC in Virginia. It is lodging
built around fine dining.

2. Follow the Money—

Offshore banking havens such as
Cayman Islands, Isle of Man, Cook
Islands, & the British Virgin Islands and
other Caribbean banking spots have fine
hotels for Rich clients with offshore
bank accounts.

3. Follow the Scenery—

Stunning views not easily found would
bring the Rich at least once and if the
food, service, and other amenities are
outstanding, they will return. Usually,
this will be views of mountains, oceans,
glaciers, desert sunsets—but truly
breathtaking to make it worth the trip. A
perfect example is the Ventana on Big
Sur in California. Another is The Four
Seasons at Whistler in British Columbia,
Canada.

4. Follow the Entertainment—

Gambling is catnip to many self-made
rich men. Casinos with glamour, luxury,
floor shows, celebrities, and high-stakes
attract money—once again, this is
especially true if there are top cuisines
and sexy floorshows.
Note that Las Vegas has
upgraded from its family image that
primarily attracted a Wal-Mart crowd on
budgets. So, the way Vegas upgraded to
appeal to the Rich was by bringing in
celebrity chefs and fine art and top
entertainers.

5. Follow the Sport—Snow

Skiing, Sailing—even croquet, and lawn
bowling (for a very exclusive crowd) –
as well as fishing—combine scenic
beauty of snowy mountains or tropical
lushness. A rich gentleman told me that
'before it was discovered' he used to fish
at Cabo San Lucas which he said was
originally a fisherman's haven for rich
men who liked to fish in unspoiled
locations with good waters and a fine
catch.

6. Follow the Glamour—

Many of the Rich—especially new
money will be where the latest celebrity
sighting is found. If movie stars have
been reported in an expensive hideaway,
the registration there will surge.

7. Follow Remote Locations

—This is more difficult to keep up with
—but not impossible. Hotels in locales
that are steeped in cultural uniqueness
will have a quiet following that is
almost snobbish but well worth finding.
This is how Bali was the "in" place for
awhile – before terrorist activity there
jeopardized security.
Keep in mind that a remote
location is hottest the first 3 to 6 years
after the Rich discover it. However,
once the secret is out and the masses
start following them there (and they
always do), the Rich leave it in the
hands of promoters and they find a new
location.

Specific Rich Hotels

So, how do you find the hotels
that provide all the glitz listed above?
Well, just as name-brand products - or
designer-labels can help out when you
are in a pinch for time but want to feel
good about a purchase, the same idea
can help when traveling - although do
not limit yourself to these because there
are less-known hideaways where the
Rich will be, too. But plenty of Rich
men will frequent hotels that meet the
following standards:

High-End Hotel Chains.

The quickest way to identify hotels with
all the above-mentioned cache (and
cash) is through the hotel-rating system -
i.e. 5 star hotels and 4 diamond hotels
tend to provide most of the fine
amenities, superior cuisine, luxurious
suites, scenic locations or desirable
locations if not scenic.
Certain hotel chains are built on
their 5 star or 4 diamond rankings and
many rich travelers—especially those on
business—count on these chains. There
are several but some of the top ones
include:
Star Hotels—An Italian luxury
chain. In New York City, the
Michelangelo, which is a Star Hotel, has
wealthy international clients—and many
celebrities, from tennis stars to movie
stars.

The Four Seasons Hotels—can

be counted on about
anywhere. Afternoon tea at the
Whistler mountain resort near Van
Couver in Canada is the best I have ever
had and there were many Rich Men
enjoying the lavish spread. Celebrities
are also frequently found in the Beverly
Wilshire Hotel, which is a Four Seasons
Hotel on Rodeo Drive in Los Angeles.

Fairmont Hotels—Great luxury

hotels in the tradition of mid-19th
century grandeur - and often include
good floor shows with name-star
entertainment.

Starwood Hotels—Careful here.

They run the gamut of mid-priced
business hotels such as Sheraton all the
way up to the ritzy Ritz Carlton, St.
Regis, and Weston. Both Ritz Carlton
and St. Regis are exclusive in any
location and are popular with wealthy
clients who are busy and rely on top
quality on the run.

The Peninsula Hotels—elegant,

modern

The Peabody Hotels—steeped

in Southern charm

Elegant Boutique Hotels—

Most cities and resort havens have a few
boutique hotels - sometimes as part of a
chain - but often they are independently
owned, one-of-a-kind hotels that are too
expensive for anyone but the rich.
Because they are "quiet" in the
sense of not well known to the general
public; these hotels provide anonymity
for superstar celebrities and rich clients
who prefer quiet chic, luxury, beauty,
and...privacy. Many of the
boutique hotels are renovated mansions
jointly owned by a 5 star chef and a top-
notch interior decorator and perhaps a
few investors.

Relais & Chateaux—Elegant

boutique hotels, such as The Inn At Little
Washington and The Little Nell in
Aspen, CO are among other quiet
boutique hotels, worldwide.
 Note: Most 5 star and 4 diamond
hotels have spas; but the Rich do visit
specialty spas (weight-loss, cosmetic
improvement, serenity...you name it) for
week-long treatments or services and
are sometimes quite accessible in that
setting.

NOTE: Today, rich travelers

are alert to possible terrorist-threatening
areas and seek good security settings in
places they stay while traveling.

Meeting Rich Men at Hotels

If You Do Not Have Much
Money; stay at a cheaper hotel and go to
the rich hotel bar and/or coffee bars; and
even "crash" their swimming pool.
If you need a pass card to enter
the pool area, just wait until someone
uses theirs to go in and quickly follow
them inside the pool area before the gate
closes.
If you are approached by
inquiring hotel staff—and I doubt you
will be—you can claim to be meeting
someone there (you are...you just haven't
met them, yet...). You can leave if
questioned again.

Buy A Temporary—Or One

Night—"Membership" To The
Exclusive Hotel's Private club. It may
cost $100 but it is well worth it. If it
requires that you stay in the hotel and
you are on a budget; stay only 1 night in
the luxury hotel but in the lowest priced
room and buy your membership for that
night.
However, make the best of that
night, and meet RMs to wine and dine
you the rest of the time while you are
staying in a cheaper B&B.

Casinos Are Easy if RMs are

alone and if they are not gambling in
private groups. You saunter up to a
gaming table, observe a game in
progress, and cheer for the winner -
even say you had your fingers crossed—
or say "Lucky for you I arrived just
before you won. I have always been told
I am good luck."
If you do not want to be that
bold, just ask a question or make a
comment to an RM between bets - not
while the RM is in the middle of placing
a bet.

Hotel Work-Out Gyms. Don’t

just hang out at the bars. Some of your
best chances can take place in the hotel
work-out rooms. RMs who care how
they look or about their health will be on
the machines.

Ways To Let Them

Find You
 To meet traveling RMs, you can
either get a temporary job in resorts,
hotels or the travel business; or you can
try to meet them on your own dollar:
Naturally, I like the idea of people who
have more class than cash getting paid to
meet the rich by taking a job (even if
temporary) in the areas the Rich visit;
but it is just as important to know how to
meet them without taking a job there.
Let's look at both possibilities.

Sport And Gaming

Clinics
Vacations for RMs can also
include fine-tuning their skills in their
favorite sport or game.
What “social sport or game”
would you like to learn or to improve?
Croquet? Golf? Tennis? Sailing? Lawn
bowling? Many wealthy people enjoy
these social sports and take them very,
very seriously.
If they are new to the sport or
want to try it out because it is gaining
popularity among their social set, they
will often seek out the best clinics in the
sport in order to learn how to do it
properly.
This is true even if it is in
another part of the country – or the
world. They want the best instructors,
not just a local person who knows the
game and teaches it at the Y but has
achieved no stature in it.
Even if they are already
accomplished in the sport, many of these
serious RMs will want to improve their
games and their scores. They attend
good sport clinics where their game can
be video-taped and analyzed by top
players.
Celebrity sport clinics are the
very best – but they are expensive. Still,
it can be worth it – especially if the
game truly interests you.
This also applies to gambling.
Renewed popularity of televised poker
and blackjack have spawned expensive
classes; and the revered social games of
Bridge and Chess have well-heeled
followers who like to analyze their
games in private clinic settings as well.
Remember, we are talking about
expensive classes in celebrity clinics
where the Rich will go – not just some
local class, although you “might” luck
out there, too – but it’s not likely.

Great Jobs To Meet

The Traveling Rich
For any woman, I think a super
way to meet Rich men is by working – at
least for awhile in one of the following
jobs:
 Concierge at a 5 star or 4
diamond hotel - because you deal one-
on-one with Rich men who are staying
there. One of my clients did this in
Canada at an exclusive hotel and she not
only met and dated a number of wealthy
men who were traveling through; but she
ended up marrying a wealthy man from
Los Angeles and now lives in
California.
Hostess in the hotel's restaurant
or club. The late Supreme Court Justice
Douglas met and married a club hostess
he met (not on vacation but still, she was
a hostess at a club). After he married
her, he later sent her through law
school. A Brach candy mogul married a
coat-check girl (she was almost 40 years
old) in a Florida club. These jobs are
not as 'service-oriented' as other jobs
and have a touch of glamour because you
are not wearing uniforms but dressier
outfits. Uniforms are class delineators.
Avoid jobs that require service looking
uniforms unless they are glamorous
outfits. Whatever your job in a travel-
related industry, you must be visible.
Flight Attendants for private
jets; but also for commercial jets that
have First Class seating. The late movie
star Henry Fonda married a flight
attendant. However, flight attendants tell
me it is difficult to sustain a relationship
because of the demands of the job. Still,
there are many success stories for this
travel-related position.
 Country Clubs if you can work
as a golf or sailing pro (professional) at
a country club, it is a great way to meet
RMs. I once knew an RM who would
not date a woman unless she could play
tennis with him. You may be able to
parlay really good skills into working at
an expensive Sports Clinic or Celebrity
Sports Clinic. This also applies to card
game skills – teaching Bridge at a
country club.
Cruise Ship Jobs. Working on
cruise ships that offer programs to
members of rich singles clubs can work.
There are some singles clubs that are
geared to a high income bracket and they
often schedule group trips.
Otherwise, solo Rich Men,
 who are not with a group, typically
bring a date on a cruise.

Gimmicks On The Go
If you are on a large plane that
has first class bar - there is a trick to
upgrade without paying for it - but it is
risky. On a flight to Denver, I once
pretended to "freak out" with fear of
crashing. The flight attendants took me to
the bar in first class - an actual club type
seating in the 'bar' are of the plane - to
make me comfortable and offered drinks.

If you can fly First Class it can

be easy to chat over drinks with the men
there. (Some passenger jets are getting
away from the First Class social bar on
the plane; so if a plane simply serves
drinks at your seat no matter which
class, it is tough to meet them if you are
not also in first class.) Even at the
airport, most airlines offer private club
memberships to First Class passengers
waiting to board the plane.
If you can not afford First Class
but can manage business class on your
International flights, there are typically a
number of well-heeled gentlemen in tow.
There is something new to
consider about ( gimmicks on ) planes
and airports, though – and that is security
marshals and the true need to be
security-minded in our world of travel
after September 11, 2001. With respect
for that in mind, there are other ways to
meet them.

Fly 'no class seating' business

planes - such as Southwest Airlines and
others like it - that have no class seating.
I met a wealthy realtor on a flight from
Houston to Dallas that way.
He was actually across the aisle
from me and diligently working out
of his briefcase. I asked what he was
working on - and when he told me about
his properties in Dallas, I asked how he
got involved in the business. It was a
fascinating Horatio Alger type of story
and because he enjoyed telling me about
it, he later asked if he could call. Taking
a 'no class seating' flight allowed us -
two people of different financial means -
to meet.

Ask an affluent looking

gentleman for directions in the airport
(even if you know) - or have your arms
full, drop something, and ask him to pick
it up. Thank him and hand him your card
in the most casual way, smile, and go
your way (be the first to leave).
One woman approached a
polished looking businessman and said,
"I don't normally do this; but I am about
to board a plane and there is not much
time. Here is my card so you can call
me. I would like to get to know you." He
did and they have a lovely
relationship.
 How To Get An RM’s
Attention
To get attention of RMs, you do
not have to be a beauty; but you should
have "great hair" which means a
fabulous cut with movement and
beautiful color with shine. Hair frames
your face and can make you look dowdy,
boring, old, out-of-date - or
great.
Second to hair, if you wear even
a little makeup, use it to emphasize eyes.
If you do not wear makeup, fine; but
have a clean, well-cared-for look - no
shiny, oily splotches.
 Tried and true—be sure to wear
sophisticated body-conscious clothing in
bright colors— even if it is casual. Men
respond to hot pink, bright red and
brilliant white. Most men don't even
know they do, but they do.
If your clothes are too muted, you
will fade into the wall paper. If you are
not comfortable wearing a complete
outfit in bright colors, at least have a
scarf - or a sweater in bright colors.
Another way to get attention is to
generate energy in your face. You do
not smile inanely—and you don't even
have to smile at all, but look alert and
interested in your surroundings.
People who slump and look
down or appear to be drowning their
sorrows in a drink look like losers—and
they are not attractive.
Create a reason to laugh at
something—if you are alone that means
you ask the waiter or bartender a
question and no matter what the person
says, laugh.
Do look cheerful. Happiness is
the Attraction Principle—Rich Men are
drawn to happy women. You seem
‘special’ and as if Life is NOT too big
for you.

Drinks And Such

Sometimes I would use a
person’s drink that as an opening: If a
drink looked unusual, I would tell the
man that his drink looked interesting and
ask what it was.
I ordered coffee—yes, in a bar—
and it often got noticed. If I did not want
to stand out for not having a drink-
looking drink, I ordered cranberry juice
and club soda with lime.
When a man offers to buy you a
drink and asks what you want, if you
want to make it fun; suggest trying
something different and does he have any
suggestions. You can even ask the
bartender what is a new or unusual
concoction. Warning: If it sounds too
risky—i.e. too much alcohol for one
drink—have it virgin.
Sometimes an old drink that is
rarely ordered makes for conversation.
The bartender should know a few—and
so may the Rich person you just met.

Striking Up A
Conversation
For a subtle technique, sit down
next to an RM with your back to
him—or sit down across from him—
again, with your back to him.
After several minutes, slowly turn to
face him, but completely ignore him and
even when you are looking around, make
eye contact with everyone next to him—
but not with him.
Then, ask a question of the
person next to him—and then to the
person on the other side on him—but not
to him. Nine times out of ten, he will
then speak up and inject himself into the
conversation. At that point, you look at
him, respond to his conversation, and
slowly warm to him.
Another casual technique is to
sit next to a man in the same manner—
with your back to him (so he does not
feel crowded) – and after a few minutes,
turn so that you and he face the same
direction.
Cross your leg toward him (good
body language). Then ask a question
about the bar or the hotel or the resort in
an offhand manner—the same as you
would with someone who does not
interest you.
Respond, warmly but casually,
and then let the situation work or not
work of its own accord. If
nothing progresses in 10 minutes, turn
your body away from him. Focus your
attention on someone else. If nothing
happens with anyone after 20 minutes,
move on to a new location altogether.
Never ever stay in a bar longer
than 40 minutes if no one talks to you.
The longer you sit there, the more
isolated, desperate, and dead energy you
project.
Leave—and seem cheerful,
anyway, with energy in your walk and
confident posture.
Scour other upscale locations in
the area.

Pick-Up Lines
Sometimes I cannot believe the
things I tried - some worked, some
failed - but you always have to be proud
of yourself for trying. If you target Rich
men who have had a drink or two, it may
work a little better.
Once in awhile I would tease a
man by saying, "I am working on my
autobiography. How would you like to
be chapter 8?" As I write this ploy now
it sounds so weird and funny to me; but
amazingly enough, men responded well -
maybe because I did it in a light, fun
way, and not a heavy come-on. I don't
know; but also surprising was that a few
RMs took it seriously and asked "Are
you a writer?"
One man stands out because he
said, "That depends on how interesting
the other 7 chapters were."
Isn't that great? So I laughed and
told him” that’s great" and we ended up
dating and having a lot of fun. I
affectionately called him Lucky 8 the
whole time.

Another gimmick some people

use is to pretend you can read palms. I
know a man who was very successful
with that line. He knew nothing about the
art of palm reading; but he was such a
master at B.S. and had a sense of humor
so he charmed a number of women. If
you do this, then when you finish your
fun reading, fold your card into the palm
of his hand and leave.
The really best way, though, is
just to ask impersonal questions when
you first meet an RM. The difference
between personal and impersonal
questions is that questions about an
RM’s profession or his education or his
marital status is ‘personal’ and are best
not be asked immediately. That
information comes later on, when
interest has developed.
But when you will be more
effective if you do not seem all that
interested in what he does or his
background. You will be more charming
if you ask impersonal questions –
questions that have nothing to do with
his personal life.
Begin with impersonal questions
—such as how a game or contest turned
out - if most of the rich are staying at the
hotel to attend a horse race, or a tennis
match, or a sailing event.
Since you are visiting an area,
you can also ask questions of an RM
about places to see, things to do—and
maybe end up getting a first class tour by
one of the RMs.
 Safety is Your Number
One Priority At All Times
As always, keep safety as your
number one priority at all times and in
all places. Meet these men in the public
areas of the hotels and clubs and find out
as much about them as you can and make
sure all initial dates are in public areas
and groups or with other people until
you know him better.
Trust any negative gut feelings or
even vague feelings – because it is better
to err on the side of caution than not.
Besides, it won’t be an error if a man is
for real and if he is interested in you.
Even if you do not have negative
feelings – and even if you have positive
gut feelings; put those on hold and
follow safety precautions – because the
positive feelings may be the excitement
of the moment. You are the most
important person in your life, so protect
you.
You don’t want be a snoop or
that says more about your poor character
than about his; but you do want to take
genuine steps of personal safety when
you decide to have a whole lot of fun by
meeting various Rich Men on the go!
Chapter 17

Rich Sex® And The

Happiness Factor
You Can’t Knock Happiness!—
Wise Rich Man

At some point, you may decide

on a committed relationship or marriage
to a man who is not rich – and if you do,
my dear, that is wonderful, too!
I once dated a very wise Rich
Man. He was unassuming and had a
better grip on reality than many of his
peers.
When we visited the home of a
couple who seemed as if they were
barely getting by, I overheard one of his
friends ask him, “Can you imagine his
wife staying with him under these living
conditions?”
“She’s happy,” my wise RM
replied simply and then added, “And you
can’t knock happiness.”
Over the years, the truth of his
words endures. You can’t knock
happiness. Happiness is like road signs
that let you know you are on the right
path. If you are feeling happy, you know
you are on the right road for your love
life and your sex life.
It is not superior to marry
someone Rich. It has its perks and if it is
right for you, you will ultimately find
Happiness ‘road signs’ that it is the right
path for you. Sometimes it takes a little
work, but that is true of any love
relationship.

Examples
One widow of a Rich Man ran
out of the inheritance she had received
from him six years after he died. She
then married a man who did not have a
lot of money and no one expected it to
last.
However, she said to me, “Ginie,
I loved my first husband and we had a
good life together. If he had lived, we
would still be together and happy. My
second husband is nothing like him; but
he is exactly right for me at this point in
my life. I can’t imagine life without him.
We are happy, too.”
A divorcee of a Rich Man told
me that she enjoys life more now. “You
know how some foods are just ‘too rich’
to be good for you?” she asked, “Well,
that’s how life was with him. I am glad I
experienced it – and wouldn’t take
anything for the experience; but,
honestly, I prefer the plain meat and
potatoes lifestyle I have now with a new
man. Everything is down-to-earth and
comfy.”
 One RM went broke and he and
his wife had to sell their estate, fine
cars, boat, and eventually her jewelry.
His wife said to me, “We are just as
close now as we ever were. And we
cherish those things that cannot be lost in
our marriage—our love for each other.”
This from a woman who once
was wooed by top fashion designers and
who now shops at good quality lower
priced stores. She vows she does not
miss the old trappings.

Denim And Silk

It’s true. Some women prefer
denim to silk – and that is great! And
some women prefer silk to anything else
– and that is just great, too. And there
are those who insist on both denim and
silk, which is terrific for them.
A fulfilling relationship that
makes you happy is the greatest gift you
will ever have in life. Whether it is
denim or silk or embraces both is not the
point. The point is how you feel in the
relationship.
Most women I have known who
experienced a Rich Man but later
married a man without money tell me
they are glad they had the “Rich Man
experience” and will always look back
on it fondly for the personal growth they
experienced – AND – because they will
never feel they missed anything. They
know they have exactly what they want,
now.
When shopping for love – and
that is what dating is, of course – try on
a variety of men to see what makes you
happy. Have fun with a few Rich Men
and don’t stop having fun with other,
wonderful Men who may not have a lot
of money…until you – and only you –
choose exactly what relationship best
fits you and makes you happiest.
Thank your lucky stars when you
find a good man who makes you happy
—because, my friend, you can’t knock
happiness.