M Business Communication 3rd Edition Rentz Solutions Manual 1

Chapter 05 - Writing Good-News and Neutral Messages
M Business Communication 3rd

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Part II: Chapter-by-Chapter Lecture

Notes & Exercises
Chapter 5: Writing Good-News and Neutral Messages
Teaching Suggestions
This chapter introduces students to one of the standard organizational approaches in business writing: the
direct organizational pattern. Because this pattern is used most frequently in situations in which the reader
will react positively or neutrally, Chapter 5 discusses the direct pattern in this rhetorical context. But
many of the following suggestions for teaching Chapter 5 will also apply to teaching students to write the
other types of messages discussed in Chapters 6, 7 and 11 (e.g. negative-news messages, persuasive
messages, employment documents).
Lecture-Discussion
You can begin with a brief lecture that presents an overview of the direct approach and the contexts in
which it is appropriate or not appropriate. Students may be asked to assess either in an online or face-to-
face discussion their own communication style. Are they direct communicators? Indirect communicators?
Although you will discuss the indirect approach more thoroughly in Chapter 6, you may also ask students
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Hill Education.
to reflect on a time when they received a message directly that should have been communicated indirectly
or vice versa.
Lecture notes for Chapter 5 to accompany the Chapter 5 PowerPoint presentation appear below.
Instructors should emphasize that the text suggestions are not formulas; students must use the skills they
learned in Chapter 5 to understand their writing goals and audiences and adjust their messages
accordingly. Emphasis should be given to developing logical approaches to problem solving so that
students see their communication goals as tied to their business goals.
Illustration
After presenting the lecture, you may want to refer to the good and bad message examples in the Chapter
PowerPoint and have students analyze and articulate what happened in the writing that makes the good
message better than the bad message (e.g., the main point is at the beginning, the writing is more
complete and the language more precise). You may also want to create good/bad examples from the
problem solving cases at the end of the text as additional discussion and illustration opportunities.
Criticism of Student Messages
Students should write a direct message as an assignment for this chapter. After writing a draft, students
can bring their work to class for peer editing. As a guide for peer editing, you may want to develop a form
based on your grading rubric for the assignment. Students should be reminded that a peer editor is not a
“fixer” or copy editor. The peer editor is simply to react to the format, content, and correctness. The
writer is ultimately responsible for the content. If the writer disagrees with the peer editor, the writer is
not obligated to make the editor’s changes.
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Before beginning the one-on-one editing, you may want to discuss a few drafts as a class, identifying
strategies that have better promise than others. After assignments are returned, you can show examples of
individual sentence or entire messages that were done well or that could still use work.
Writing Contests
Another option to motivate students to produce good messages is to hold writing contests. The judges are
the students. They read the messages, grade them, and determine the winners. A prize may be bonus
points.
Specifically, this plan works as follows. We divide the class into groups of five or six students. Each
group grades the messages of another group—making detailed comments on papers in the process. Each
grading group selects the best message in the group being graded. We give bonus points to the writer of
these messages. The grades given on all messages are the grades we record, but we permit anyone who is
not satisfied with his or her grade to submit the message to us for reevaluation. Usually no more than 10
percent do so.
We like this plan because it gives the students a view of the other side of the fence. They learn to
appreciate the problems in grading. Also, we think grading is a very productive learning experience.
Recognition of Good Work
Another effective means of increasing student interest is simply to recognize good work. If you have a
class website or use a class management tool such as Blackboard, WebCT, or Desire2Learn, you can post
the best messages as examples for current students. Equally good results come from showing the best
papers on a screen if students agree to have their work shown.
Text Summary, Lecture Outline
Slides 5-1, 5-2, 5-3
Directness is appropriate in most messages such as routine inquiries, favorable responses, order
acknowledgments and thank-you messages, direct claims, adjustment grants, and operational
communications.
Slide 5-4
Begin preparing for a message by assessing the reader’s probable reaction.
If the likely reaction is positive or neutral, directness is in order.
If the likely reaction is negative, indirectness is in order.
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The General Direct Plan
Slide 5-5
The general plan for direct order:
Begin with your objective: Whatever your key point is, lead with it. You may want to provide brief
background information before presenting it.
Cover the remaining part of the objective: Whatever else must be covered to complete your objective
makes up the bulk of the remainder of the message. Cover your information systematically—perhaps
listing the details or arranging them by paragraphs.
End with goodwill: End the message with some appropriate friendly comment as you would end a face-
to- face communication with the reader. Include a closing that is relevant to the topic of your message.
Routine Inquiries
Slides 5-6, 5-7, 5-8, 5-9
Routine inquiries are those where the writer expects a positive response from the reader. Begin with the
objective. In doing so, you may ask a question or give an answer to a question the reader has previously
asked you. These beginnings save time for writer and reader. After you have done that, you can present
any necessary explanation, ask additional questions, or give additional answers. To close, end with a
goodwill message that is relevant to the reader. Many students may have difficulty with this. One of the
most common errors we see is the ambiguous thank you. It is not wrong to end with “thank you,” but the
thank you should be specific to the topic. Many students will, as an example, write a favorable response
that answers a reader’s many questions. After answering all of the questions, the writer will type “thank
you.” “Thank you” for what? Encourage students to finish the thought: “Thank you for your interest in
ACME products.” Slides 7-6, 7-7, and 7-8 discuss suggested orders, types of beginnings, and the
suggested format for routine inquiries.
Opening
Begin directly.
Use either a specific question that sets up the entire message (“Is your Karatan line of leather goods sold
on an exclusive dealership basis?”) or a general request for information (“Will you please answer the
following questions about your dealership policy for your Karatan line of leather goods?”)
Note how both of the openings above are faster and more interesting than indirect openings such as this
one:
“I saw your Karatan products advertised in this month’s Marketer Guide and am considering stocking the
line. But first I need to know the answers to the following questions:”
Content
Usually there is some need to identify or explain the situation. Such information helps the reader in
answering. Most often this information fits best after the opening. When a number of questions must be
asked, sometimes explanations are needed within the questions. The point is to tell the reader whatever is
needed to enable her or him to answer.
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Place all explanations where they fit best.

Cover the question or questions.
If your inquiry involves asking a single question, the message is short—a direct opening followed by any
necessary explanation and a friendly closing comment.
Sometimes a number of questions need to be asked.
In such cases, make each question stand out. Do this by

1. making each question a separate sentence,
2. organizing a paragraph around each question (especially if some questions require explanations),
3. ordering (1, 2, 3, etc.) the questions, and
4. wording each as a question rather than as a hint for information (“Please send me . . .” rather than
“I would appreciate your sending me . . .”).
Generally avoid questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.”
“Do long periods of freezing temperatures damage Gardex?” vs. “What are the effects of long periods of
freezing temperature on Gardex?”
Close
End with a goodwill comment, preferably use words that fit the one case:
“As we must decide about using Natvac by next Monday, please have your answers to us by that date.”
rather than “Thank you in advance for your help.”
Slides 5-10, 5-11
These slides present bad and good versions of the same message. Notes are provided on the PowerPoint
slides for discussion. You may want to divide students into small groups to analyze what makes the bad
message bad and the good message good and then have the groups articulate their analysis to the rest of
the class.
Slide 5-12
This slide presents tips on how to organize questions for a routine inquiry. Most students need help with
formatting and organization, so this is an important slide to share.
Favorable Responses
Slides 5-13, 5-14, 5-15, 5-16
Favorable responses are those that give the reader what he/she has requested. Because they are messages
that answer inquiries favorably and convey good news and because they do what the respondent has asked
you to do, the direct order is appropriate. The indirect order would get the job done, but it would be
slower, and it would waste time.
Opening
Directness here means beginning by giving the reader what is wanted—which is the information
requested.
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So a good beginning is the one that starts answering.
If the inquiry concerned is one question, it is the answer to that question:

“Yes, Chem-Treat will prevent mildew if used according to instructions.”
If it concerns a number of questions, the opening is the answer to one of them, preferably the most
important. An alternate possibility is to begin with a statement that you are giving the reader what is
wanted. Although this beginning really is not direct, it is positive. Also, it avoids the abruptness that
directness sometimes conveys: “The following information should tell you what you need to know about
Chem-Treat” or “Here are the answers to your questions about Chem-Treat.”
Somewhere at the beginning, identify the correspondence you are answering.
One good way is to use a subject line of a message or in the subject identification of an email message:
“Subject: Your April 3 inquiry about Chem-Treat.”
Another is to refer to it incidentally in the opening: “. . . as requested in your April 3 inquiry. . .”
Content
If you are answering just one question, you have little else to do. You may include any explanation or
other information you think is needed. Then you close the message. If you must answer two or more
questions, you answer them in succession. Work for a logical order, perhaps using the order used in the
reader’s inquiry. You may choose to number the questions or to distinguish them by bullets.
If some negative information must be given with the good, handle it carefully. You may choose to
deemphasize it—placing it in a position of little emphasis or giving it less space. Be sure to avoid
language that is unnecessarily negative (e.g., unfortunately, disappointed).
For the best in goodwill effect, you may consider including the “extras”—something nice that is not
required (additional information, comment, or question).
Close
End with friendly, cordial words that show your willingness to serve. Make these words fit the one
situation:
“If I can help you further in deciding whether Chem-Treat will meet your needs, please write me again.”
Slides 5-17, 5-18, 5-19
the class.
Order Acknowledgments
Slides 5-20, 5-21
Acknowledgments are sent to people who order goods principally to report the status of the order. They
simply tell when the goods are being shipped. Many companies use form messages for this; some use
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printed notes. But individually written messages can be used, especially for important orders or to
welcome a new customer.
Opening
As this is a routine, good news message, it is appropriate to begin it directly—getting to the point right
away.
“Your April 4 order for Protect-O paints and supplies will be shipped Monday by Blue Darter Motor
Freight.”
Content
The individually written acknowledgment message frequently includes various goodwill information
(e.g., reselling, appreciation for the order). Sometimes not all the items ordered can be sent. Some may be
out of stock and must be back-ordered. Sometimes the information in the order needs to be cleared before
shipment can be made. In such cases, shipment must be delayed—a negative happening. This information
also must be handled in the message. If the delay will be taken as routine, it can be reported directly. If it
will be bad news to the reader, you should handle the situation with a minimum of negative wording and
implication.
For example, if the reader failed to give complete information in the order, say: “So that you can have the
right color of leather on your master chair, will you please check your choice on the enclosed color
chart?”
For an item that must be placed on back-order, say: “We will rush the Shannon master chair to you just as
soon as our stock is replenished by a shipment due May 4.”
Close
End with a friendly, forward look. Comments about enjoyable (or profitable) use of the product or a wish
for continued opportunities to serve.
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Slides 5-22, 5-23
the class.
Thank-You Messages
Slides 5-24, 5-25
Thank-you messages are written for many occasions as a way to practice good etiquette, build goodwill,
and present a positive professional image of the writer and the writer’s company.
Opening
The opening should be direct and include an expression of thanks.
Content
The content should be personal and speak directly to the reason for the thank-you note.
Close
The writer need not thank the reader again given that thank-you messages are very short and the writer
will have said “thank you” only a few sentences earlier. However, the closing should be relevant to the
topic of the message. This might be a statement regarding future business between the reader and writer
or wishes for success for the reader and his or her company.
Direct Claim
Slides 5-26, 5-27
Most businesses want to know when something is wrong with their products or services so they can
correct the matter and satisfy their customers. Many times the easiest and quickest way for you to address
these claims is simply to call the company directly to settle the matter.
Because you anticipate the reader will willingly grant your request, a direct claim begins with the claim,
moves to an explanation, and ends with a goodwill closing.
Beginning. The direct claim should open with the actual claim. This should be a polite but direct
statement of what you need. If the statement sounds too direct, you may soften it with a little bit of
explanation, but the direct claim should be at the beginning of your message.
Explaining the issue. The body of the direct claim should provide the reader with any information he or
she might need to understand your claim.
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Providing a goodwill closing. Your close should end with an expression of goodwill. Keep it simple.
Slides 5-28, 5-29, 5-30
the class.
Adjustment Grants
Slide 5-31
Adjustment grants are written when you grant a request for an adjustment based on a claim someone has
made regarding a product or service (e.g., a request for a refund, a request for a product replacement).
Because you are doing what the reader wants done and are correcting an error or problem, the situation is
positive; therefore, directness is appropriate. Because claims themselves require communicating negative
news, claim messages are discussed in Chapter 5.
Even though the situation is primarily positive, it is not all good news. The problem that led to the claim
you are granting is in the reader’s mind. Something bad has happened.
Granting the adjustment may not eliminate all the negative feelings the reader may have toward you and
your company, but questions about the service or products of your company may remain. You may need
to regain any confidence lost if the adjustment grant is to be completely successful.
Opening
The opening words logically present the good news—granting of the adjustment. You will also need to
identify the correspondence you are answering in a subject line or in an incidental reference in the
opening.
In the opening and throughout the message, you will need to avoid words that recall unnecessarily the
negative thing that happened. Words such as mistake, trouble, damage, broken, and loss are especially
damaging.
Equally negative are general references such as problem, difficulty, and misunderstanding.
Content
Except in cases in which the cause of the problem is routine or incidental, you will need to work to regain
lost confidence. Just what you should or can do will depend on the case. Determining your goals,
analyzing your audience, and all of the other steps in planning your document that we discussed in earlier
chapters are particularly important here. Perhaps you can explain how a product should be used to avoid
the breakdown that occurred. Maybe you have taken steps to ensure that your personnel will not repeat an
error. Or you may explain how what happened was a rare occurrence.
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Then if you have a reasonable explanation, present it—clearly and positively.
Close
End the message on a positive note—a comment that fits the one situation and does not recall what went
wrong. Move forward in the conclusion; do not dwell on the reason for the adjustment.
Slides 5-32, 5-33
the class.
Operational Communications
Slides 5-34, 5-35, 5-36, 5-37
These are the internal communications necessary in conducting the company’s business—those needed to
get the work done.
They range widely in formality—from the brief, informal exchanges between employees to formal
documents. The informal messages do not require our study. They are simple, direct, frank exchanges of
information between workers. The more formal ones resemble the messages we have reviewed in this
chapter. A few resemble those message types we will take up in the next chapter.
The suggestions for writing these messages are much the same as for those types previously discussed.
The need for clarity, correctness, and courtesy should guide these efforts.
To write an internal operational message, writers should do the following:

• Organize in the direct order
• Choose the appropriate tone (casual, moderately formal, or formal)
• Be clear and courteous
• Order the information logically
• Close in a way that builds goodwill
Slides 5-36 and 5-37 give an example of an operational message from the text. You may want to use this
example to discuss proper format and technique.
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Critical Thinking Questions
1. When is the direct order appropriate in inquiries? When would you use the indirect order?
Give examples. (LO1)
Directness is appropriate when the reader is likely to receive the message positively or neutrally.
Indirectness is appropriate when the message is likely to be received negatively. As will be noted
in Chapter 6, however, some exceptions occur (for example, when a negative inquiry will be
accepted routinely or when one feels the reader will appreciate directness). The examples the
students give will have to be judged on merit.
2. “Explanations in inquiries merely add length and should be eliminated.” Discuss. (LO3)
Explanations often help the reader to answer the inquiry.
3. Discuss why just reporting truthfully may not be a sufficient strategy for handling negative
information in messages answering inquiries. (LO4)
A true but negative statement presented without concern for its effect may get more emphasis
than it deserves. Negative information stands out. The effect would be to give a wrong
impression. For example, to report that “John Smith once spent a night in jail” might overshadow
all else that is reported about him. If John Smith is basically a good person, it might be necessary
to de-emphasize this negative point by positioning and wording it carefully.
4. Defend a policy of doing more than asked in answering routine inquiries. Can the policy be
carried too far? (LO4)
Doing the “extras” is really just being friendly. It is behaving as most of us like to behave in our
personal relationships. The result can pay off in goodwill benefits. After all, treating people the
way they like to be treated creates goodwill. In business, goodwill is worth money. Yes, the
policy can be overdone.
5. What can acknowledgment messages do to build goodwill? (LO5)
One can build goodwill by writing friendly, considerate, and helpful acknowledgment messages.
In such messages one can use warm and personal language and can do the “extras” that make
customers like the company. One can express appreciation for the order, welcome a new
customer, and include resale material in the message (to enhance the customer’s opinion of the
company’s products).
6. Discuss situations where the following email forms of an order acknowledgment would be
preferred: form message and a special message. (LO5)
A form message would be preferred when the order is a standard one, fitting all factors covered in
the message. The special letter would be preferred for unusual circumstances that need
explanation, such as substituting merchandise, changing shipping dates, or other complications.
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7. Discuss how problems (vague orders, back orders) should be handled in messages
acknowledging orders. (LO5)
Vague and back orders can be handled directly when the information is likely to be accepted as
routine. When it is likely that the customer will be upset by the news, tact should be used. When
tact is required, the negative news usually is subordinated by position and by words. That is, it is
not placed in a position of emphasis; and the words used are carefully selected so that they do not
emphasize the negative aspects of the situation.
8. Why is it usually advisable to do more than just grant the claim in an adjustment-grant
message? (LO7)
One who makes a claim may have reason to question the quality of the good or service involved.
Unless his or her confidence in the good or service is restored, future business may be lost. Thus,
often it is advisable to try to explain what happened or to do whatever is needed to regain the lost
confidence.
9. Discuss the use of directness in internal-operational communications. Why is it desirable?
Can it be overdone? When might indirectness be appropriate? (LO8)
Most of these messages concern the company’s work. The participants know that their messages
will be interpreted impersonally. Thus, they can engage in straightforward but courteous
communication. It can be overdone if one becomes too frank—that is, if courtesy is not apparent.
Indirectness is in order when the reader’s reaction to the message is likely to be negative.
Skills Building Exercises
1. Point out the shortcomings in this email response to an inquiry about a short course in
business communication that Casey Webster’s company offered to its employees. The
course was taught by a local college professor. Mr. Braden’s initial inquiry included five
questions: (1) How did the professor perform? (2) What was the course format (length,
meeting structure)? (3) What was the employee evaluation of the instruction? (4) Was the
course adapted to the company and its technical employees? (5) Was homework assigned?
(LO1, LO2, LO4)
Subject: Course evaluation
Mr. Braden:
Your January 17 inquiry addressed to the Training Director has been referred to me for attention
since we have no one with that title. I do have some training responsibilities and was the one
who organized the in-house course on clear writing. You asked five questions about our course.
Concerning your question about the instructor, Professor Alonzo Britt, I can report that he
did an acceptable job in the classroom.
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Some of the students, including this writer, felt that the emphasis was too much on grammar
and punctuation, however. He did assign homework, but it was not excessive.
We had class two hours a day from 3:00 to 5:00 PM every Thursday for eight weeks. Usually
the professor lectured the first hour. He was a good lecturer but sometimes talked over the
heads of the students. This was the main complaint in the evaluations the students made at the
end of the course, but they had many good comments to make also. Some did not like the
content, which they said was not adapted to the needs of a technical worker. Overall, the
professor got a rating of B- on a scale of A to F.
We think the course was good, but it could have been better adapted to our needs and our
people. I also think it was too long—about 10 hours (five meetings) would have been enough.
Also, we think the professor spent too much time lecturing and not enough on application work
in class.
Please be informed that the information about Professor Britt must be held in confidence.
Casey Webster
The shortcomings are as follows:

a. The opening is indirect. It is slow—a full paragraph of obvious and unnecessary
explanation. The organization throughout is bad. The answers to most of the questions
are scattered throughout the message. More specifically, the information concerning the
professor’s performance appears in paragraphs 2, 3, and 4, the information on format of
the instruction is in paragraphs 3 and 4, the answer to the question on employee
evaluation appears in paragraphs 2 and 3, and the response to the question about
adaptation is in paragraphs 3 and 4. Only the question about homework is answered in
one place (paragraph 2).
b. Unnecessary shift from “we” to “I.”
c. “Please be informed…” These words from the old business language are unnecessarily
harsh and overly formal.
d. The close is not the friendly, goodwill comment it should be.
2. Point out the shortcomings in this message granting a claim for a fax machine received in
damaged condition. Inspection of the package revealed that the damage did not occur in
transit. (LO1, LO7)
Dear Ms. Orsag:
Your May 3 letter in which you claim that the Rigo FAX391 was received in damaged condition
has been carefully considered. We inspect all our ma- chines carefully before packing them, and
we pack them carefully in strong boxes with Styrofoam supports that hold them snugly. Thus we
cannot understand how the damage could have occurred.
Even so, we stand behind our product and will replace any that are damaged. However, we must
ask that first you send us the defective one so we can inspect it. After your claim of damage has
been verified, we will send you a new one.
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We regret any inconvenience this situation may have caused you and assure you that problems
like this rarely occur in our shipping department.
Scott Hildebrand
Shortcomings of the message to Ms. Orsag are as follows:

a. The opening is indirect and slow. The good news is delayed a full paragraph.
b. “…received in damaged condition…” —negative
c. “…in which you claim…” —questions reader’s honesty, negative
d. “…cannot understand…” —talks down, negative
e. “…damage…” (two occurrences)—negative
f. “Even so, we stand…” —finally grants the adjustment, but does so grudgingly.
g. “However, we must…” —unnecessarily firm and appears to question reader’s honesty.
h. “After your claim of damage has been verified,…” —unnecessarily negative, questions
reader’s honesty.
i. “We regret any inconvenience…” —well intended, but places too much emphasis on
what went wrong.
j. “and assure you that…” —an attempt to explain, but scant and not convincing; not a
suitable topic for the close—not the friendly talk needed
3. List your criticisms of this email message inquiring about a convenience store advertised for
sale: (LO1, LO3)
Subject: Store details needed
Mr. Meeks:
This is in response to your advertisement in the May 17 Daily Bulletin in which you describe a
convenience store in Clark City that you want to sell. I am very much interested since I would
like to relocate in that area. Before I drive down to see the property, I need some preliminary
information. Most important is the question of financing. I am wondering whether you would be
willing to finance up to $50,000 of the total if I could come up with the rest, and how much
interest you would charge and for how long. I also would like to have the figures for your
operations for the past two or three years, including gross sales, expenses, and profits. I also
need to know the condition of the building, including such information as when built,
improvements made, repairs needed, and so on.
Hoping that you can get these answers to me soon so we can do business.
Criticisms of the message to Mr. Meeks are as follows:

a. “This is in response to…” —a slow, indirect opening, obvious
b. “I am very much interested…” —obvious
c. “…I need some preliminary information.”—hints that information is needed but doesn’t
ask
d. “Most important is…” —names the information wanted but is not in question form
e. “I am wondering…” —another hint for information needed, not in question form, and too
much in one sentence
f. “I would also like…” —also a hint for information needed; too much in one sentence
g. “I need to know…” —another hint for information; and too many items of information
wanted in a sentence
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h. “Hoping that you can get…” —an old-style rubber stamp close
4. Criticize the following thank-you message from a college student to a professor who has
sent her a job lead. (LO1, LO5)
Subject: Thanks
Dear Prof. Smith,
Thanks for the hot tip on the job! I’m interviewing there tomorrow!
Sarah
Criticisms of the message to Professor Smith are as follows:

a. Subject line is vague—doesn’t identify why the student is thanking Prof. Smith.
b. The message is vague. Prof. Smith has many students and may not remember which hot
tip she gave or where the student is interviewing.
c. The message has a casual tone. Depending on how friendly the student's relationship with
the professor is, the message's tone may need to be more formal.
5. Critique the following direct claim message: (LO1, LO6)

I wonder if you would consider reducing the bill I recently received for repair work that Tom,
one of your men, performed last week. I did not realize that he would charge me for the time
he spent going to Home Depot to get the parts he needed. If I’d known this, I probably
wouldn’t have chosen your company to do the work.
Please let me know your reply as soon as possible.
Kim Keeley
A critique of the direct claim message to Kim Keeley is as follows:

a. Slow opening, but message is brief and to the point
b. Awkward language—"one of your men…"
c. Negative language is unnecessary—“If I’d known this…”
6. Criticize the following operational message from a restaurant manager: (LO1, LO8)
Wait staff:
It has come to my attention that our customer service is substandard. We will therefore hold
mandatory training sessions over the next three weeks. See your shift supervisor to plan your
work schedule so that you can attend.
Criticism of the operational message from a restaurant manager is as follows:

a. This message is frank but negative. Its language is unnecessarily harsh—substandard,
mandatory training. Probably not all members of the staff are at fault, but the message
suggests that everyone’s service is standard.
b. The tone does nothing to raise morale, only lower it. Chances are, this kind of message
could lower service standards even further.
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Sample Solutions to Problem-Solving Cases
Routine Inquiries, Case #4
This case is a good exercise in critical thinking and writer analysis. Aside from basic information
regarding costs and legal issues, students should consider the types of needs, fears, goals, and questions
that a manager in this situation is likely to have. These will help form the basis of the writer's questions.
For instance, given the situation, the writer will probably want to know the impact personality tests have
on long-term retention rates and the extent of RightFit's experience with healthcare clients.
Brainstorming possible questions based on the situation and the writer's goals is one way to begin solving
the problem and generating content for the body of the message. The beginning of the message should
reference the voice mail and provide some background about the retention issue without revealing too
much proprietary company information.
The close should include a deadline for the information, worded politely without being demanding. The
writer may even mention the possibility of an in-person, follow-up meeting and inquire about Ms. Smith's
availability.
Example
As a follow-up to the voice mail I left this afternoon, I'm sending further details regarding contracting
your personality testing services. Our home healthcare company is experiencing retention issues with
our Personal Care Aides (PCAs) and we think personality testing may be the solution. Could you answer
the following questions so we can make an informed decision?
1. Have you had success using personality testing as a retention tool? Could you provide some
examples of this?
2. Do you have experience working with the healthcare industry? In what areas?
3. What, if any, legal issues are involved in personality testing?
4. What are the upfront and long-term costs of contracting your services?
5. What types of personality testing are available? Which would you recommend for our industry?
6. Are there other services that would be better than personality testing for a retention issue such
as ours?
Receiving your response by 2 p.m. tomorrow will enable us to include RightFit's information in our final
proposal to the board. Could you also let us know your availability for a meeting in the next three days,
in case we decide to investigate further?
Favorable Responses, Case #17
As with most favorable responses, this is a fairly easy, straightforward message. It should begin by
referencing Kaya's request and the information that follows.
The body of the message should present the details in a logical, visually appealing order. The writer
should also analyze her supervisor's needs, values, interests, and fears. For instance, explaining that the
videos are entertaining, current, and highly relevant to sales representatives, and why, will go a long way
towards alleviating here supervisor's fears and pre-presentation stress.
5-16
Hill Education.
The close might be a friendly offer of additional help on the presentation if Kaya needs it. You might
want to have the class brainstorm other possible closes.
Example
In response to your request for presentation videos, I've found four that I think would be perfect for
sales reps. The first two illustrate effective communication and the last two ineffective communication.
All of them are lively, current, and highly relevant to reps.
Effective Communication:
News on Relevant Science: 10 TED Talks That Will Change the Way You Communicate
I've reviewed all of these and the one to lead with seems to be Nancy Duarte's "The Secret Structure of
Great Talks." The first five minutes would be sufficient to capture the message. The next is Laura Trice's
speech emphasizing the importance on saying "thank you" to build communication, particularly valuable
to a sales team. Both are available here:
http://newsonrelevantscience.blogspot.com/2012/08/10-ted-talks-that-will-change-way-you.html
Ineffective Communication:
Speechgurus Instructional Videos
The first illustrates awkward body language and the second dissects distracting mannerisms and speech
habits:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fexV-sc7-R5
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fexV-sc8-R6
Let me know if you'd like me to find additional videos or if I can be of help in any other way. I just
finished the McKenna project, so I have capacity and would really enjoy helping you prepare for the
presentation.
Adjustment Grants, Case #40
In this problem the credit union is at fault, even though the member also bears some responsibility for not
monitoring the checking account. Although resolution has already been discussed on the phone, a clearly
written letter, aligned with company policy, can achieve two goals—assuring the customer and the
company that the issue is resolved and offering the customer options for preventing any future problems.
Though Ms. Wong was initially upset, this letter should focus on the positive information the writer has to
offer—the funds transfer resolved and the reversal of the service charges on Ms. Wong’s account. The
writer should refer to the phone conversation, but avoid any negative wording. A brief explanation of the
cause of the automatic transfer failure could restore the member’s confidence in the credit union. In
addition, the writer can offer Ms. Wong incentives to enroll in services that would be valuable to her and
advantageous for the credit union, and then close with an appropriate goodwill comment.
Example
As of today, your $1,000 has been transferred to your checking account and service charges in the
amount of $250 have been returned to your account, as discussed in our phone conversation on April 5.
5-17
Hill Education.
Thank you for bringing this matter to our attention. A rare server power outage on the date of your
regularly scheduled automatic transfer caused the issue, and we have taken steps to protect all member
accounts in the future.
We appreciate your loyal membership and encourage you to consider the extensive services described
in the enclosed brochure, most of which are free to our members. These services can provide you with
convenience and peace of mind regarding the payments of monthly bills and the most efficient
organization of direct deposits. You can also save money through avoiding postal charges and by taking
advantage of the discounts offered for automatic payments.
If I can help you select the services that would be most helpful to you, please call me directly at 1-800-
CREDIT-U (1-800-273-3488), ext. 105, or email me at j.brown@creditunion.com. I look forward to
serving you.
Internal Operational Messages, Case #51
It’s important for company leadership to maintain employee confidence and trust. One of the ways to do
that is through the use of clear, accurate information presented directly and in a timely manner, especially
when rumors may be traveling around the company grapevine. The example below illustrates how this
can be done.
Students may want to consult websites such as the U.S. Department of Labor (www.dol.gov) , the Equal
Employment Opportunity Commission (www.eeoc.gov), and the U.S. Department of Health and Human
Services (http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/privacy/hipaa/understanding/index.html) for information related to this
case. More helpful information regarding employee privacy issues can be found at
http://www.fairmeasures.com/issues/privacy/.
You may want to discuss with students the value of transparency in the workplace and how appropriate
communication forms can help or hinder employee/employer trust.
Example
It has come to my attention that some questions have arisen recently regarding the handling of
information kept in our company’s personnel files.
In accordance with company policy and state and federal regulations, all private employee information
(including address, social security number, wages, medical records, and performance records) is kept
confidential and access to this information is restricted to the appropriate parties, which may include
the Human Resources Director, the employee, the employee’s manager (in some cases), and myself (for
employee performance evaluation purposes only).
At no time will this information be shared with anyone other than the parties named above without the
employee’s knowledge and written consent, unless required by law. These policies remain in effect
during and after employment.
If any of you have further questions regarding the personnel files, please contact Lauren Kiser, our
Human Resources Director, who will be happy to meet with you.
5-18
Hill Education.
5-19
Hill Education.

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Chapter 05 - Writing Good-News and Neutral Messages

M Business Communication 3rd

Full download at link :

Solution Manual : https://testbankpack.com/p/solution-

Test Bank : https://testbankpack.com/p/test-bank-for-

Part II: Chapter-by-Chapter Lecture

Criticism of Student Messages

Recognition of Good Work

Text Summary, Lecture Outline

Slides 5-1, 5-2, 5-3

Begin preparing for a message by assessing the reader’s probable reaction.

If the likely reaction is positive or neutral, directness is in order.

If the likely reaction is negative, indirectness is in order.

The General Direct Plan

The general plan for direct order:

Slides 5-6, 5-7, 5-8, 5-9

Place all explanations where they fit best.

Sometimes a number of questions need to be asked.

In such cases, make each question stand out. Do this by

Slides 5-10, 5-11

Slides 5-13, 5-14, 5-15, 5-16

So a good beginning is the one that starts answering.

If the inquiry concerned is one question, it is the answer to that question:

Somewhere at the beginning, identify the correspondence you are answering.

Another is to refer to it incidentally in the opening: “. . . as requested in your April 3 inquiry. . .”

Slides 5-17, 5-18, 5-19

Slides 5-20, 5-21

Slides 5-22, 5-23

Slides 5-24, 5-25

Slides 5-26, 5-27

Slides 5-28, 5-29, 5-30

Then if you have a reasonable explanation, present it—clearly and positively.

Slides 5-32, 5-33

Slides 5-34, 5-35, 5-36, 5-37

To write an internal operational message, writers should do the following:

Critical Thinking Questions

Explanations often help the reader to answer the inquiry.

Skills Building Exercises

The shortcomings are as follows:

Shortcomings of the message to Ms. Orsag are as follows:

Criticisms of the message to Mr. Meeks are as follows:

Dear Prof. Smith,

Criticisms of the message to Professor Smith are as follows:

5. Critique the following direct claim message: (LO1, LO6)

A critique of the direct claim message to Kim Keeley is as follows:

Criticism of the operational message from a restaurant manager is as follows:

Sample Solutions to Problem-Solving Cases

Routine Inquiries, Case #4

Favorable Responses, Case #17

Adjustment Grants, Case #40

Internal Operational Messages, Case #51

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