Personal Growth 4

INTERMEDIATE
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Personal Boundaries
Reasonable, safe and permissible guidelines or limits on:
How other people will behave around you
How you will respond when someone steps outside those limits.

Common Behavioral Traits of

Personal Boundaries

rigid porous healthy

keeps others away oversees personal information says “no” without guilt

doesn’t ask for help struggles to say “no” values own opinions

protective of information easily influenced by the appropriately shares personal

opinions of others information
may seem detached
feels responsible for happiness can communicate wants and
avoids intimacy of others needs
avoids close relationships gets very involved in the doesn’t compromise values
avoids possibility of rejection problems of others
accepts decisions of others
keeps everyone out may accept disrespectful
behavior chooses who to let in and who
to keep out
fearful of rejection

lets anyone in
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Setting Boundaries Exercise

Clear Personal Boundaries give you the space to live your life with some peace of mind. To find where
your personal boundaries are, it will be best to use the values that are important to you.

Instructions:
Each page of this activity identifies groups of people such as FAMILY, FRIENDS, ACQUAINTANCES &
STRANGERS.

List your values in the boxes provided and use them to explore:

What I will allow

What I will allow but not very comfortable with
What I don’t allow

The Values List

Acceptance Faith Love
Achievement Focus Loyalty
Appreciation Free spirit Making a Difference
Authenticity Friendship Participation
Awareness Full Self-expression Patience
Balance Fun Peace
Beauty Growth Perseverence
Choice Happiness Productivity
Commitment Harmony Respect
Consistency Honesty Responsibility
Creativity Humor Sharing
Determination Imagination Spirituality
Discipline Independence Tenacity
Elegance Integrity Tolerance
Empowerment Intuition Trust
Encouragement Joy Variety
Excellence Kindness Wisdom
Excitement Leadership Zest of life
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Family

My Values What I allow:

1. 1.

2. 2.

3. 3.

4. 4.

5. 5.

What I allow but not

What I don’t allow:
very comfortable with

1. 1.

2. 2.

3. 3.

4. 4.

5. 5.
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Friends

My Values What I allow:

1. 1.

2. 2.

3. 3.

4. 4.

5. 5.

What I allow but not

What I don’t allow:
very comfortable with

1. 1.

2. 2.

3. 3.

4. 4.

5. 5.
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Aquaintances

My Values What I allow:

1. 1.

2. 2.

3. 3.

4. 4.

5. 5.

What I allow but not

What I don’t allow:
very comfortable with

1. 1.

2. 2.

3. 3.

4. 4.

5. 5.
 INTERMEDIATE | PERSONAL GROWTH 4

Strangers

My Values What I allow:

1. 1.

2. 2.

3. 3.

4. 4.

5. 5.

What I allow but not

What I don’t allow:
very comfortable with

1. 1.

2. 2.

3. 3.

4. 4.

5. 5.
 INTERMEDIATE | PERSONAL GROWTH 4

Your Their
“Space” “Space”

Boundary

A Balancing Act

Me Us You

Maintaining a Balance Between Individuals Involved in the Relationship = Healthy Boundaries

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Me
You

If the relationship is all about ME,

then I am focusing on MY needs met and expect
you to make MY needs your priority as well —
and your needs suffer.

You
Me

If the relationship is all about YOU,

then I am focusing on getting YOUR needs met
at the expense of my own.
 INTERMEDIATE | PERSONAL GROWTH 4

Us

If the relationship is only about US,

then WE are both focused on the relationship
and we lose our individuality.

A Balancing Act

Me You Us

In a healthy relationship,
YOU, ME and US are in balance most of the time.
However, sometimes YOU or ME
may need more attention... and that’s OK.
 INTERMEDIATE | PERSONAL GROWTH 4

Professional Boundaries
Professional Boundaries are boundaries expected between:
Colleagues
Team Leaders & Team Members

How to Set & Maintain Healthy Professional Boundaries

1. Know your values & define your personal boundaries first – Understand why you are setting
boundaries. Take time to determine the extent of your limits in order to know your needs & your goals.
Knowing your limits will help you communicate your new boundaries to your workmates.

2. Create clear structure at work – It’s always best to discuss duties and responsibilities, agenda,
deadlines in the beginning. Communicate your boundaries in terms of agreement – what you are
responsible for and what you expect from others. Delegate work when appropriate, but don’t
micromanage.

3. Communicate clearly & be assertive – Boundaries are not an excuse to say “no” all the time or “I am
swamped with work” etc. If you feel your boundary is violated, express it in a constructive way.

4. Take some time off; respect other people’s time - Set boundaries at home so you can spend quality
time with and for yourself. This means getting offline during day offs to replenish mental, physical &
emotional strength. This also means respecting others’ personal time.

5. Keep your relationship professional – This way, you can prevent office politics and gossips. An
example is a colleague wants to gossip with you about a co-worker. You can choose to say “I hope you
don’t mind, but I’d rather not hear about it.”

6. Work with empathy – As discussed in your last Personal Growth session in Fundamentals, it is best to
always put yourself in the shoes of your colleagues/team members to guide you with your thoughts
and actions.
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“A strong leader sets and abides by

clear boundaries. Respect the
boundaries of your team members and
they will respect yours. In turn, they will
follow your lead.”

-JRP Curriculum