My sister gets away with everything.

According to my
parents and all the teachers, my sister, the class
president, the popular kid, the star student, is
excellent and never does anything wrong. Everyone
holds me up to her standards. It’s always, “When
your sister was your age, she already…”, or “maybe
if you just follow what your sister does, you would do
it right.” I am sick and tired of always being
compared to her. No one ever stops to think about
my feelings. They never seem to care about anything
that concerns me unless I make a mistake. I know I
am not the best at, well, anything, but is it too much
to ask for a “good job” or “we are so proud of you”? It
must be too hard because I haven’t heard anyone
say that stuff to me my whole life. Just once, I want
the praise that my sister gets. Just once, I want to be
a good comparison. I don’t want to be the screw-up
that I am. People say you shouldn’t live for the praise
of other people, but I think the opposite is true.
Praise means you’re actually doing something right
in your life. I’ve never gotten any recognition, so
clearly, I must not be doing anything right. And I
have no clue where I would even start. No matter
what I do, I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough.
What breaks me the most is that no one sees me
hurting. No one sees me cry. Not because I don’t
show it, but because they don’t bother looking for it.