Written & illustrated by:

Henneke Duistermaat

As seen on:
Avoid filler phrases like
excellent customer
service
Avoid filler phrases like
excellent customer
service.
Yuck:
Our product is supported by
excellent customer service.
Yuck:
Our product is supported by
excellent customer service.

More persuasive:
Any questions? Call our team
on 0123 456 789.
We’ll pick up the phone within
3 rings. That’s a promise.
Avoid superlatives
Avoid superlatives
Bllerrgh:
The best accounting software.
Bllerrgh:
The best accounting software.

More persuasive:
1,790,000 small businesses use
our accounting software.
Use sensory words
Use sensory words
Icky:
Our doors are solid.
Icky:
Our doors are solid.

More persuasive:
Our doors are kick-proof.
Or:
Even the hulk can’t break our
doors with a sledgehammer.
Focus on benefits
Focus on benefits
I design high-converting websites.
I design high-converting websites.

So you can turn more web visitors

into leads.
Mention problems
Mention problems
We minimize server downtime.
We minimize server downtime.

So you avoid frustrations, and

keep your team happy.
Overcome objections
Overcome objections
Are your products pricey?
Are your products pricey?

Explain the value you

provide:
Our floors remain squeak-and-
creak-free for longer, because
they’re made of solid hardwood.
Focus on your reader
Focus on your reader
Ugh:
I’ll send you my report with
copywriting tips.
Ugh:
I’ll send you my report with
copywriting tips.

More persuasive:
Get your free report. And learn
how to write persuasive content.
Don’t use exclamation
marks
Don’t use exclamation
marks
Ask questions instead
Ask questions instead
Blah:
We listen to what you want.
Blah:
We listen to what you want.
More persuasive:
Would you like a modern
wetroom with the latest gadgets?
Or an opulent bathroom in
Georgian style? We help you
create the bathroom of your
dreams.
Avoid the passive voice
Waaaaah:
You’re so much loved by me.
Waaaaah:
You’re so much loved by me.

More persuasive:
I love you.
Never address your
reader as part
of a crowd
Never address your
reader as part
of a crowd
Ouch:
To those of you who were
inconvenienced, I apologize
sincerely.
Ouch:
To those of you who were
inconvenienced, I apologize
sincerely.
More persuasive:
I apologize if our downtime
created problems for you.
Avoid gobbledygook
Avoid gobbledygook
Yikes:
Our market-leading products
alleviate the stress of payroll
management.
Yikes:
Our market-leading products
alleviate the stress of payroll
management.
More persuasive:
Our services take the pain out of
payroll management.
Use specific examples
Use specific examples
Wishy-washy:
We dye your hair in any color.
Wishy-washy:
We dye your hair in any color.
More persuasive:
Lavender purple or shocking
pink? We dye your hair in any
color you like.
Tell mini-stories
Tell mini-stories
Duh:
We use silky smooth textiles.
Duh:
We use silky smooth textiles.
More persuasive:
We scoured the world to look for
the softest textiles. In 1999, we
discovered a small mill in Italy
producing delicate satin … etc.
Avoid multiple
adjectives before nouns
Avoid multiple
adjectives before nouns
Eh:
Our beautiful, soft,
vibrant linen …
Eh:
Our beautiful, soft,
vibrant linen …
More persuasive:
Our vibrant linen …
Don’t publish sugary
testimonials
Don’t publish sugary
testimonials
Really???
Henneke is the most wonderful
copywriter.
Really???
Henneke is the most wonderful
copywriter.
More persuasive:
Henneke’s web copy appeals to
our ideal customers, and helps
us to increase sales.
Make your call-to-action
bossy
Make your call-to-action
bossy
Tut-tut:
If you’d like to receive our free
report, add your email address
and click download.
Tut-tut:
If you’d like to receive our free
report, add your email address
and click download.
More persuasive:
Get our free report now
Looking for more
writing tips?

© 2014 by Henneke Duistermaat

So you can win
more clients?
Get your FREE
Snackable Writing
Course

© 2014 by Henneke Duistermaat

for Busy People
Get your FREE
Snackable Writing
Course

© 2014 by Henneke Duistermaat

for Busy People

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