Uncertainty and Choice

UNCERTAINTY, AMBIVALENCE AND CHOICE

Peter Philippson

"I don't know what to do."

"I feel confused."
"I don't know what is right."

All these are familiar experiences for human beings. None of them is particularly pleasant. It is
much easier to be sure what to do, and what is right. Most of us establish ways of avoiding
these experiences, especially if we believe that to choose the 'wrong' answer would be
dangerous for us. So we build up routines to cover most aspects of our lives, and act so as to
encourage others to fit into these routines.

We get angry if someone 'rocks the boat'.

All our ways of avoiding uncertainty become part of our 'character' or 'personality'. There is
nothing inherently wrong in this: we each need to choose the level of uncertainty we are willing
to face. However, in all of these we are reducing our ability to be spontaneous, and to respond
to the new situations life can throw up for us. So people usually come into therapy when their
way of managing uncertainty is no longer adequate to their present life situation.

What I particularly want to focus on here is about free will. It is becoming ever clearer to me
that it is precisely the experience of uncertainty or ambivalence that tells us that we have
free will. Conversely, the more we deal with situations in a stereotyped way, the less our
freedom to choose comes into the picture. If I am travelling a road with no forks or
crossroads, then my life is just that road. It is only at the fork that I know that my life is my
own.

Standing at any of the many crossroads of my life, I can choose which fork to take. However,
while I might make guesses about where each fork goes, I cannot really know. We live in a
world which has endless ability to surprise us, for good or ill. Also, each fork will lead to more
forks, and where we end up will depend on the choices we make there. Thus, one of the charms
of Gestalt therapy is that we equate homoeostasis (keeping ourselves in balance) with
creativity. For the world we are keeping the balance in relation to is a world full of changes,
requiring us to make new balances in the face of new situations.
We can also take in the insights of quantum physics. This seems to show that, at a fundamental
level, the world exists in a state of possibilities rather than actualities, and that it is the
action of engaging with the world that 'collapses' the possibilities into the actualities. Our
choices in quantum physics not only affect the way we act, but the way the world in which we
act presents itself to us. For the first time, we have a theory of the world which does not look
like a clockwork machine, for which the whole concept of free will or choice is meaningless.
So the most positive thing about doubt, uncertainty, or ambivalence is that they are the
experiences that show us that we exist as choosing beings, rather than as behaviourist
machines responding to stimuli. If we can hold this fact, it will support us to welcome the
experiences, even if they are uncomfortable. And, as Fritz Perls said, anxiety becomes
excitement when supported by breath. Breathe and choose! We live in a world where we can do
both.

7 May 1998