am i alone am i weird

wtf is wrong with me do people care or don’t they seem like they do but don’t cause there scared of
me they should be but i don’t want to i just can’t get my head through it my head is not ok it hurts
everyday just thinking about myself how i fuking beat my friends down for no reason i just wanna kill
myself just so people don’t have to go through my cause they feel bad i wanna die just for these
thoughts and people having to care for me putting effort to even talk to me they dont deserve that
im afraid to ask my friends if they are really my friends or i’m just a weirdo who they found to feel
bad for i look at videos of myself with that stupid fucking smile thinking i’m all that thinking i’m ok
i’m not i never was idk why i don’t wanna live a life with me in the world people having to fuking love
me but i think it’s fake but what if it’s not no way people like me im so weird and dumb but idk do
they like that i can’t ask i don’t wanna lose them i wanna stop idk i hate myself so much like it
another person if i kill myself it either they don’t care or they actually do but i won’t know i’m died
gone i least mh thoughts are gone and my fucking doings are gone hope i didn’t tramued a dude i
feel sorry if i died i will let them to kill me just so they can have there anger out hopefully make them
feel better

maybe it will be nice if i can sit next to a ocean listening to music no worry’s knowing maybe people
like me i can finally handle myself living comfortably live in my own skin thinking all of this was some
dumb shi i wish i wish i wish i wish please talking to myself is not helping i hate myself i ducking
hate u i hate ur fucking smile ur fucking humor ur fucking delusions ur obsessed fucking things ur
fucking soft fucking mind ur weak ass body ur fucking stupid painful things u always have