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 "The Psychology of Intimacy
in the Diocesan Priesthood"
Project Demonstrating Excellence
Presented to
THE DEAN
of the
UNION INSTITUTE GRADUATE COLLEGE

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in partial fulfillment
of the requirement for
DEGREE
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DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY
in
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CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGY

Core Faculty Adviser

Henry Raymond, Ph.D.
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Joseph James Kenna

October 14, 2000

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 UMI Number: 3001695

Copyright 2001 by
Kenna, Joseph James

All rights reserved.

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 Abstract
"The Psychology of Intimacy in the Diocesan Priesthood"
This research sought to illuminate themes found in the
lives of Roman Catholic diocesan priests as they negotiate
the intimacy life task and to shed light on the meaning and
essence of achieving intimacy in the context of celibate
priesthood. Previous quantitative research on intimacy in
the priesthood has largely depended on intimacy instruments
developed on a diverse "non-clerical" population and have
mixed "religious" and "diocesan" priests together. This
phenomonological research, using a "heuristic" method
developed by Clark Moustakas, reflects the experience of five
co-researcher priests, including myself, whose lives are
daily thrown against an existence circumscribed in terms of
diocesan celibate intimacy.
A background section describes the cultural context

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against which the priest must negotiate Erikson's intimacy
vs. isolation life task. This background is described in
terms of "Voices": Voice of the Magisterium, Voice of
History, Voice of Professionalism and Voice of Dissent.
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Four interviews with different priests reflect four
different styles of dealing with intimacy. 1) The "icon
priest" finds intimacy primarily through suffering, service,
and community. 2) The "Charismatic priest" expresses
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intimacy through humanism, hospitality, and prayer and

contemplation. 3) The "Professional priest" finds intimacy
though healing ministry, friendship, and solitude. 4) The
"Prophet priest" finds intimacy though solidarity with the
oppressed, passionate engagement, and acting as an agent of
change. Each interview is followed with reflections from
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personal priestly experience of intimacy and a Jungian "king,

lover, magician, warrior" consideration of the intimacy
style.
The study concludes with a three dimensional description
of successful negotiation of the intimacy vs. isolation life
task. In this way the priest achieves intimacy by relating
to God, the community, friends, and society in terms of the
core thematic structures of the four "identities," the
"circle of intimacy," and related intimacy themes. Failure
to achieve this intimacy results in a priest's life being
characterized by shadow themes delineated in the "circle of
isolation." How intimacy, as described, relates to previous
research and how it can be the basis for subsequent study are
considered. This research seeks to provide support and
guidance for those preparing persons for priestly ministry.

ii

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 Dedication

To brother priests
ordained in 1967
from Mount Angel Seminary,
St. Benedict Oregon:
Alquin Adrians
Kevin Bray
James Burdick
Gregory Gage
Kenneth Jacques
Sebastian Naslund
Nestor Pedelesky

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Reyes Rodriquez
Gary Timmons
John Valasek
Galen Wright
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“IGNEM
VENI
MITTERE
IN
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TERRAM”

Jesus • Luke 12:49

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 Table of Contents

page
Abstract........................................... ii
Dedication.......................................... iii
Table of Contents................................... iv
Table of Diagrams................................... vii
Chapter I: Statement of Problem ...................... 1
The Historical/Theological Context............... 3
Voice of the Magisterium............. 4
Voice of History ...................... 9
Voice of the Professionalism.......... 16
Voice of Dissent...................... 22

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Expectations of a Change......... 22
Critique of MandatedCelibacy...... 26
Mental Health of Priests......... 30
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Purpose of the Study............................. 32
Rationale for the Study.......................... 33
Researcher Background.......................... 34
Design of the Study ........................... 37
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Definition of Terms ........................... 38

Significance ................................ 44
Chapter II: Review of the Literature:
The Psychological Context............. 48
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Research Regarding American Priests............... 48

The Loyola study............................... 49
Kennedy and Heckler's method............... 50
Results................................... 51
Critique of Loyola Study.................... 55
Value of the Loyola Study.................. 56
Nestor1s research on Intimacy and Priests......... 60
Nestor's Method........................... 60
Hypothesis and Results.................... 62
Critique of Nestor's Study................. 67
Value of Nestor's Study..................... 68
Canadian Seminarian Survey....................... 72
Erikson's Intimacy vs. Isolation Crisis........... 73

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 Table of Contents (Continued)
Chapter III: Methodology............................. 78
Initial engagement............................. 78
Question ....................................... 80
Immersion into the topic........................ 81
The Interviews................................. 82
Incubation..................................... 86
Illumination................................... 87
Summary of findings:
Outcomes,Recommendations, andImplications... 88
Human Participant ResearchConsiderations......... 90

Chapter IV: Findings: Four Interviews with

Related Themes........................ 91
Format of the Four Interviews.................... 94

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Father Pine: Icon............................... 95
Explication of Intimacy Themes............... 114
Intimacy in Suffering...................... 114
Intimacy in Service. .................... 116
Intimacy in Community...................... 117
Intimacy as Embodiment of King Archetype
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Father Maple: Charismatic........................ 121
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Explication of Intimacy Themes............. 135

Intimacy in Humanism........................ 135
Intimacy in Hospitality.................... 136
Intimacy of Contemplation and Prayer......... 138
Intimacy as Embodiment of Lover Archetype 140
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Father Elm: Professional......................... 143

Explication of Intimacy Themes............. 167
Intimacy of the Healing Ministry........... 167
Intimacy of Friendship..................... 170
Intimacy of Solitude....................... 171
Intimacy as Embodiment of Magician Archetype.. 172
Father Cedar: Prophet............................ 176
Explication of Intimacy Themes............. 192
Intimacy of Solidarity with the Oppressed.... 192
Intimacy of Passionate Engagement......... 194
Intimacy of Acting as an Agent of Change 195
Intimacy as Embodiment of Warrior Archetype... 197
Twelve Paths to Intimacy......................... 198

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 Table of Contents (Continued)
Chapter V: Summary of Findings........................ 200
Core thematic structures: The Four Identities..... 201
The Twelve Themes Summarized: "Circle of Intimacy". 202
Intimate with Whom?.............................. 213
Archetypes in the "Circle of Intimacy"............ 216
Related Intimacy Themes........................ 218
Limitations of Present Research................. 220
Present Research and Literature Review.......... 221
Recommendations for Further Research............ 224
Need to Research the Shadow of Priest Intimacy.... 225
Shadow of Icon............................ 225
Shadow of Charismatic..................... 226
Shadow of Professional......................228
Shadow of the Prophet.......................229
The "Circle of Isolation"...................... 230
Recommendations Regarding Seminary Education ..... 235
Conclusion..................................... 237

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Appendix
Appendix A: Letter to Co-Researchers.............. 240
Appendix B: Participation-Release Agreement....... 241
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Bibliography........................................ 242
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 Table of Diagrams

Diagram #1 "Circle of Intimacy".................... 205

Diagram #2 Four contexts in which the priest
engages in intimate relationships....... 214

Diagram #3 Distribution of Archetypes

in "Circle of Intimacy"................ 217

Diagram #4 "Circle of Isolation".................. 231

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vii

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 The moment for initiating an authentic life and
departing from betrayal and alienation is always present. No
matter how entrenched a person is in the world of the other,
in rationalizing, in analyzing, in intellectualizing, no
matter how immersed in standards and values and goals of the
system, he still can, in the next moment, decide to alter the

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course of his life. He still can become the one he really
is, creating meanings and values and actualizing
potentialities that are consistent with his real self. No
one can take this away. And for any particular person, no
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one can predict what the individual will do. Regardless of
his past, in any situation the person can choose to activate
real directions of the self. . .
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Clark Moustakas (1974, p.52)

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 CHAPTER I

Statement of The Problem

"Seeing takes time." In this observation Georgia

O'Keeffe (cited in Greeley, 1989a) indicates the solicitude
necessary for rendering the subtle intricacies of flowers
onto canvas. "Seeing takes time" equally applies to fathoming
complexities of the human heart. The present study aims at
taking time to discern the role of intimacy in the lives of
diocesan priests at the beginning of the new millennium.

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The Catholic community has been grappling with this
matter for a very long time: two thousand years. St. Paul
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himself wrestled with his own issues of intimacy. The early
Christian community deliberated the role of intimacy in the
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lives of their leaders in terms of married clergy. Through

the centuries art as diverse as Canterbury Tales to
Thornbirds has examined priests' struggles with intimacy
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through the lens of creative genius. Recently, social

scientists have considered intimacy and priesthood with
sophisticated statistical tools and compelling theories.
The present inquiry reflects the vision of five diverse
co-researcher priests who have taken time to "see," through a
heuristic research lens, the phenomenon of intimacy in their
personal experience of diocesan priesthood. The individual
priest is daily thrown against an existence circumscribed in
terms of celibate intimacy. The following pages explore
their distilled wisdom.

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 Statement of the Problem
The Official Catholic Directory for 1999 listed a total
of 47,210 priests in the United States. These men serve a
central role in the Roman Catholic community. Priests
render pivotal service in balancing the spiritual needs of
the laity and the administrative demands of the institutional
church.
A solemn promise of celibacy is demanded as a
prerequisite for ordination to the priesthood of the Catholic
Church. This law has profound repercussions not only in the
lives of those who must choose celibacy to choose priesthood,

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but for the whole Catholic community. This law has its most
notable effect in the lives of priests who must negotiate
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Erikson's "intimacy vs. isolation" life task. In the midst of
mediating this developmental stage, certain priests seem not
only to thrive personally but also perform their
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administrative and pastoral duties with a high standard of

competence. Thomas Nestor, in his unpublished doctoral
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dissertation Intimacy and Adjustment Among Catholic Priests.

(1993) has demonstrated that successful negotiation of the
isolation vs. intimacy crisis is a good indicator of mental,
spiritual and professional happiness (p.129). The present
research seeks to illuminate the themes found in the lives of
Roman Catholic diocesan priests as they negotiate the
intimacy life task, and to shed light on the meaning and
essence of achieving intimacy in the context of celibate
priesthood.

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 Historical/Theological Context

In order to fathom the experience of intimacy from the

point of view of a celibate priest, it is necessary to
present a brief background of celibate intimacy in the
diocesan priesthood. Diocesan priests have made a commitment
to a bishop. They are distinct from religious priests who
have taken vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. Unless
otherwise indicated in this paper, the term "priest" will
refer to diocesan priests. Against the unique background, an
"existential a priori" is that an individual priest makes
choices, given the particular circumstances that life

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presents him. An illumination of this background is essential
to grasp the phenomonology of the developmental psychology of
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priestly intimacy. Without some understanding of this
background upon which a priest makes choices about the young
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adult task of intimacy vs. isolation, those choices would not

make sense.
To illuminate this environment of choice, there follows
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a section on "voices": a metaphor for coherent, responsible,

and widely held positions that constituents of the church
communicate to the priest regarding his intimacy vs.
isolation task in the context of celibate priesthood. Not
all priests, of course, experience the same elements in the
same way. All priests, however, will be affected by each
voice in some way. Four of these "voices" are identified:
Magisterium, history, professional expectations and dissent.

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 The Voice of the Magisterial
This section presents a brief outline of the current
discipline and teaching of the Catholic Church on the
discipline of clerical celibacy. The Magisterium is the
official voice of the church speaking directly to the priest
regarding the law of perfect and perpetual continence. The
Maaisterium is the teaching authority of the church to which
all Catholics are bound.
The teaching of the Second Vatican Council regarding
priesthood is contained in the Counciliar text entitled

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Prebyterorum Ordinis. The Council Fathers affirmed that
celibacy ". . .is not of course required by the very nature
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of the priesthood, as is clear from the practice of the early
church and the tradition of the eastern churches, (n. 16)"
Note that this statement does not close the door to the
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possibility of a married clergy in the Roman Church in the

future, but maintains the discipline for the time being.
Pope Paul VI reaffirmed and deepened this teaching in
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his 1967 encyclical letter On Priestly Celibacy;

Priestly celibacy has been guarded by the

Church for centuries as a brilliant jewel, and
retains its value undiminished even in our time
when mentality and structure have undergone such
profound change, (n. 1)

He would not be the one to change the discipline. This

commitment to maintaining the law of celibacy for all priests
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 has been continued with great vigor under the long reign of
Pope John Paul II. In 1983, with the Revised Code of Canon
Law, his position was made explicit: "Clerics are obliged to
observe perfect and perpetual continence for the sake of the
kingdom of heaven and therefore are obliged to observe
celibacy, which is a special gift from God. (Canon 277, In
James A. Coriden, Thomas J. Green, and Donald E. Heintschel,
eds., The Code of Cannon Law: A text and Commentary. 1985, p.
209)"
His teaching regarding celibacy has in fact moved toward
a theology of ritual purity for priests and away from the

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possibility of a change in the discipline. He teaches that
clerical celibacy is essential to the priesthood and only
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tolerated in Eastern Christianity (Apostolic Exhortation
Pastores Dabo Vobis. March 25, 1992, n. 29). The latest
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Roman pronouncement on the historical origin of celibacy

continence is found in the authoritative document "Directory
on the Ministry and Life of Priests" which was issued by the
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Congregation for the Clergy of January 31, 1994.

. . . the Church, from apostolic times, has

wished to conserve the gift of perpetual chastity
of the clergy and choose candidates for Holy Orders
from among the celibate faithful. (Cf 2
Thessalonians 2:15; 1 Corinthians 7:5; 9:5; Timothy
3:2-12; 5:9; Titus l;6-8). (n. 59)

The sources given in the footnote to this text indicated

clearly that the author referred to a tradition of perpetual
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 chastity in its technical sense — total abstention from
sexual relations for married and unmarried alike. The
Congregation for the Clergy has embarked on a campaign to
promote the necessary bond between celibacy and priesthood
from apostolic times through the production of several
papers: Solo per amore. Riflessioni sul celibato sacerdotale.
Identita e Misione del sacerdote. and Celibato e Maoistero.
The Congregation for the Clergy's efforts culminated in an
international Symposium, Priesthood: a Greater Love, on the
Thirtieth Anniversary of the Promulgation of the Conciliar
Decree, Presbvterorum Ordinis. At this Symposium, any

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discussion of clerical celibacy other than support for the
present discipline was specifically forbidden.
One of the papers from this symposium is especially
interesting in terms of reflecting the current teaching on
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clerical celibacy. Entitled "Priesthood and celibacy

according to the Recent Church Teaching," by Roman M.T.
Cholij, (1997) it asserted that at the Eucharist, the priest
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becomes a living Icon of Christ:

At that liturgical moment [the priest] lends

his chaste flesh to Christ, his continence now
becoming an integral constituent of this iconic
relationship with Christ who offers the sacrifice
of a total self-oblation to the Father on our
behalf. (Cholij, 1997, p. 254)

As a result of this iconic identity, even the married

priest is expected to renounce sexual relations with his
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 wife; his "conjugal debt" is now not toward his wife but
towards the church through frequent celebration of the
Eucharist (Cholij, 1997, p.255). This renunciation of
sexuality is not limited only to unmarried persons and
priests. Cholij extended this practice to married persons:

A long and ancient tradition of spirituality has

invited, or even required, married lay people to
live the moment of communion in an atmosphere of
marital chastity, thereby allowing the enjoyment in
the interior marriage chamber of the heart, and the

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exclusivity of Christ's spousal love. (Cholij,
1997, p. 255)
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This rationale for celibacy (a similar one to the
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proscription of women being ordained priests) that the priest

in a very literal way represents Jesus was reflected in
comments made by John Paul II in the Apostolic Exhortation
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Pastores Dabo Vobis (March 25, 1992). Here, the Holy Father
exhorted the priest to understand the theological motivation
of the Church's law on celibacy:

Inasmuch as it is a law, it expresses the Church's

will, even before the will of the subject expressed
by his readiness. But the will of the Church finds
its ultimate motivation in the link between
celibacy and sacred Ordination, which configures
the priest to Jesus Christ the Head and the Spouse
of the Church. The Church, as the Spouse of Jesus
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 Christ, wishes to be loved by the priest in the
total and exclusive manner in which Jesus Christ
her Head and Spouse loved her. Priestly celibacy,
then, is the gift of self, in and with Christ, to
the Church, in and with the Lord. (n. 29)

Thus the Church maintains a firm teaching and discipline

regarding celibacy. Any questioning of the bond between
priesthood and celibacy is forbidden. The Magisterium is
also in the process of imposing a theology of sexuality to
support celibacy that puts one's spiritual relationship with

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Christ at odds with sexuality. Cholij (1997) summed this up
succinctly with the phrase " . . . continence has sacramental
value, (p.255)"
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Even non-genital intimacy, in the context
of priestly spousal love of Christ, would be suspect, if not
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a sign of unfaithfulness. The priest, as an icon of Christ,

could never engage in the equal mutuality demanded of
intimacy, even with his wife were he permitted to marry.
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In summation of the above message, the Magisterium*s

voice asserts: Celibacy is essential to priesthood. The human
experience of intimacy is suspect as an indication of
unfaithfulness to the debt the priest owes his "bride," the
Church.

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 The Voice of History

The church's official teaching regarding celibacy

differs markedly from the historical basis for celibacy in
the diocesan clergy, as outlined by the respected theologian
Edward Schillebeeckx, in his foundational text Ministry
(1981). Schillebeeckx represented a commonly held historical
view of celibacy and priesthood which is quite different from
the official history promoted by the Congregation for the
Clergy as earlier quoted from "Directory on the Ministry and
Life of Priests."

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My purpose here is not to evaluate this
"voice" but accurately put it forth as one of the elements
which has a profound effect on priests struggling with
questions of intimacy and celibacy. The intimacy vs.
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isolation crisis of priests cannot be adequately understood

without an understanding of the history of celibacy.
In the Vatican Council's guidelines for the renewal of
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religious life, the primary directive was to return to the

charism of the founder.

The up-to-date renewal of the religious life

comprises both a constant return to the sources of
the whole of Christian life and to the primitive
inspiration of the institutes, and their adaptation
to the changed conditions of our time. (Vatican II,
Perfectae Caritatis. 1965, n.2)

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 From that solid basis, renewal of the religious life of the
members of the order could proceed with confidence.
Applying this same standard to celibacy in the diocesan
clergy may produce a result significantly different from the
present practice.
With the development of the liturgy, the priest emerged
as a cultic figure. The laity's role became restricted as
the status of the clergy was elevated. In this liturgical
environment, the Church enjoined the law of abstinence, which
applied to both married and unmarried priests. It derived
from a concern for "ritual purity." The lex continentiae

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was a liturgical law which forbade sexual intercourse in the
night before communicating at the eucharist. The rationale
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for this liturgical law is historical and theological.
During the early centuries, Christians were influenced by the
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general cultural climate of Hellenistic paganism and its laws

of purity for pagan priests:
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. . . in areas around the Mediterranean. . . laws

of purity for pagan priests were very prominent:
"Anyone who approaches the altar must not have
enjoyed the pleasures of Venus the night before."
A rule which can later be found in all Catholic
liturgical books. . . (Schillebeeckx, 1981, p. 87)

Certainly the experience of the Essenes and the Qumran

communities also had their influence on ideas of ritualistic
purity and made some contributions to ideas of celibacy.
During the first centuries, priestly ministry was
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 increasingly compared with Old Testament priesthood in which
ritual purity was a prominent feature (Leviticus 15:16-18, I
Samuel 21:5-6). Add to this the strong influence of Stoicism
and Neo-Platonic dualism which characterized the intellectual
climate in which early periods of Christianity developed.
Society's hostility to everything that had to do with
pleasure and passion contributed to the notion of cultic
purity for priests. Given this context, the law of abstinence
made perfect sense to these early Christians.
A problem arose as daily celebration of Eucharist became
more prevalent. Married priests found that the lex

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continentiae became increasingly burdensome because it
forbade the participation in sexual intercourse on the day
before Eucharist. As a result, despite efforts to enforce
the practice, there was widespread disregard for it:
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It emerges clearly from the Councils between

the fifth and the tenth centuries that the law of
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abstinence was observed only very superficially by

married priests. The church authorities were aware
of this. After a variety of vain attempts to make
it more strict by sanctions and "economic
penalties" the resort to the most drastic means of
all: a prohibition against marriage. Only from
that time (1139) does marriage become a bar to the
priesthood, so that only the unmarried could become
priests. (Schillebeeckx, 1981, p. 88)

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 The law of celibacy in the Latin church was implicit at
the First Latem Council (1123) and then formally
promulgated explicitly in canons six and seven of the Second
Latern Council in 1139. This legislation was

. . . the conclusion of a long history in which

there was simply a law of abstinence, applying to
married priests. This earlier history extends from
the end of the fourth century until the twelfth
century. This history shows that the fundamental
matter was a law of abstinence; the law of celibacy

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has grown out of a law of abstinence and was
promulgated with the intention of making the law of
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abstinence effective. (Schillebeeckx, 1981, p. 85)
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Celibacy and priesthood, from the generally accepted

historical perspective, are not necessarily connected. The
Vatican Council attempted to provide a more accurate
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theological basis for a celibate priesthood. The Fathers of

the Council rejected the view that "undivided love" and
"dedication to God alone" was the motivation for celibate
priesthood. All Christians are called to this vocation. The
final text states that the motivation for celibacy resides in
its ability to make this goal "easier" (Lumen Gentium. 1964,
no. 42). Schillebeeckx pointed out that this "easier" is
subjective and may or may not apply to individuals
(Schillebeeckx, 1981, p. 92). Thus, according to
Schillebeeckx, the attempt of the Council to formulate an
adequate basis for celibacy in the diocesan priesthood did
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 not succeed, and the precise content of the official view of
celibacy as such still remains obscure and vague
(Schillebeeckx, 1981, p. 94). Schillebeeckx provided a
contemporary reflection on the rationale and theology of
celibacy of priests in the context of Roman Catholic teaching
and discipline.

Here we come to the real heart of the problem

of celibacy in a modern context. . . What is at
stake is the anthropologically inner relationship
between sexuality and love. And precisely this

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anthropological question is left unanswered through
the legislation of the church. This confronts us
with a new dilemma.
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Either we are dealing purely
with a law of abstinence, in which case the
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question is: does "physical abstinence" as such, of

itself, ever fall back into the old attitude which
is opposed to sexuality? Or it is a matter of a
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degree of competition between love for God and love

for a fellow human being? . . . And this, too is
theologically unjustifiable. ... It is
impossible, anthropologically, to separate the two
problems unless one wants to dehumanize sexuality
and make it a purely physical phenomenon.
(Schillebeeckx, 1981, p. 95)

Thus, this history and theological reflection regarding

celibacy elucidates an essential piece of the dilemma faced
by men struggling to resolve the developmental life task of
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