Wounded Healer

Virgo Handojo, Ph.D., CFLE

Organized by Gereja GBI Rock,

Zoominar November 7, 2020

 Wounded Healer
 Child starts life with a feeling of
helplessness relative to the powerful
parent.
 Two basic child needs (Karen Horney)
• Safety (stability): security and freedom
from fear
• Satisfaction (happiness): food, water,
shelter, and sleep

© 2018 Dr. Virgo Handojo 2018-2

 Wounded Healer
 Basic evil/Luka batin: parental undermining
of child's security/ satisfaction
• Indifference, rejection, hostility, ridicule,
isolation, unkept promise etc.
• Abused child experiences basic hostility
toward parents
• Hostility must be repressed because child
needs parents

© 2018 Dr. Virgo Handojo 2018-3

 Wounded Healer
 Basic evil/Luka batin: parental undermining of
child's security/satisfaction
• Hostility must be repressed because child
needs parents due to feeling of:
• Helplessness: “I need you.”
• Fear: “I am afraid of you.”
• Love: “I am afraid of loosing you.”
• Guilt: “I would be bad if I felt hostile to you”
–Basic anxiety: Generalization of basic
hostility and negativity to the world or others
© 2018 Dr. Virgo Handojo 2018-4
 Wounded Healer

 Adjustment to Basic Anxiety (Luka batin)

–Moving toward – I am not OK, You are OK
–Moving away – I am OK, You are not OK
–Moving against – I am not OK, You are not
OK

© 2018 Dr. Virgo Handojo 2018-5

 Adjustments to Basic Anxiety

 Moving toward People:

clingy
• Need for Affection and Approval
– Butuh dikasihi
• Need for a Partner Who Will Run
One's Life – Butuh dikuasai
• Need to Live One's Life within
Narrow Limits – Isolasi diri

© 2018 Dr. Virgo Handojo 2018-6

 Adjustments to Basic
Anxiety
 Moving away from People (the Detached
Type – Withdrawal)
– Need for Self-Sufficiency and
Independence
– Need for Perfection and Unassailability
– Need to Live One's Life within Narrow
Limits

© 2018 Dr. Virgo Handojo 2018-7

 Adjustments to Basic Anxiety
 Moving against People (the Hostile Type –
Aggression)
– Need for Power
– Need to Exploit Others
– Need for Social Recognition and
Prestige
– Need for Personal Admiration
– Need for Ambition and Personal
Achievement

© 2018 Dr. Virgo Handojo 2018-8

 • Discussion

Do you move toward, away or

against, from people with about
equal frequency?

If not, which of the three do you

emphasize?

why you use the major adjustment

techniques the way you do?

© 2018 Dr. Virgo Handojo 2018-9

 Adjustments to Basic
Anxiety
 Healthy people
– Flexible and adaptable based on
the situational needs.

© 2018 Dr. Virgo Handojo 2018-10

Luka Batin dan Kepribadiaan
Palsu
 Real and Idealized Self
– Each person has an ideal Real Self
• Living in accordance with Real Self leads to Self-
Realization
• Basic evil leads to creation of the Idealized Self
• Tyranny of the Should (Life directed by unrealistic
self-image)
 Externalization
– Internal processes experienced as if they are
outside the Self
– Related to projection but more comprehensive
– Leads to overvaluing and dependency on
external factors
 Auxiliary Approaches to
Artificial Harmony
 Living according to idealized self-image leads to
series of lies
 Seven unconscious devices used by neurotics
– Blind Spots: Ignoring factors not in accordance with
Idealized Self
– Compartmentalization: Situational rules and ethics
– Rationalization: Logical, plausible justifications, and
excuses.
– Excessive Self-Control: Controlling expression of
emotion.
– Arbitrary Rightness: rigid dogmatism.
– Elusiveness: Indecision and lack of commitment.
– Cynicism: Failure to believe in anything.
 Therapy
 Psychotherapy
– Used to discover which adjustment technique a
client was using
– Greater interest in transference as due to
adjustment technique
– Externalization as an obstacle to therapy
 Goals of therapy
– Bring patient back to Real Self
– Guide patients toward Self-Realization
 Self-Analysis
– Essential to become an effective therapist