Social Self

1. Intended Learning Outcomes

At the end of this chapter, the students will be able to:

1.1. Understand how the self is shaped by the social environment.

1.2. Discuss the varieties of conformity.
1.3. Explain Sternberg’s triangular theory of love and the types of love.

2. Pre-Assessment Activity
2.1. Each student is tasked to find a picture which they think best represents
each type of love.

3. Content
3.1 Self Concept and Self-schemas: Who Am I?
At the center of our worlds: Our sense of self
 Self-concept: What we know and believe about ourselves
 Self-schemas:
o Elements of your self-concept
o Specific beliefs by which you define yourself.
o Mental templates by which we organize our worlds
o Each person has very different self-schemas that are influenced
heavily by past experiences, relationships, upbringing, society, and
culture.

The following are examples of self-schemas:

a. If you perceive yourself as artistic, then you tend to focus more on art, music,
literature. You will recall activities that involve creativity like drawing, playing
with paint or molding a clay.
b. If your self-schema is being athletic, you tend to notice others bodies and
skills. You will quickly recall sports related experiences.

3.2 Social Comparisons

How do we decide how beautiful/likable we are?
 Social Comparison: Evaluating one’s abilities and opinions by comparing
oneself with others.
 May be based on incomplete information.
 Among students attending Utah Valley University, those who spent more time on
Facebook were more likely to believe that other people were happier and had better
lives than they did.
Have you ever been on social media and thought “All of my friends are having a
lot more fun than I am”. This cannot be true. It is just that fb users are choosing to
feature the more exciting and positive aspects of their lives
 Social Comparison has a bigger impact on self-esteem.

When we compare ourselves favorably with others, we feel good about ourselves
but when we feel that others are better off than we are, our self-esteem is likely to
suffer. For example, more money, doesn’t always bring happiness. But having more
money than those around you can (Solnick & Hemenway, 1998).

Social comparison can also diminish our satisfaction in other ways. When we
experience an increase in affluence, status, or achievement, we compare upward. We
raise the standards by which we evaluate our attainments. When climbing the ladder of
success, we tend to look up, not down. We compare ourselves with others who are
doing better.

3.3 Other People’s Judgements: The Looking Glass Self

 Looking glass self: How we think others perceive us as a mirror for perceiving
ourselves.

I am not what I think I am

I am not what you think I am
I am what I think you think I am

3.4 Social Identity

For Social psychologists John Turner, Michael Hogg, and their colleagues, we
define ourselves by our groups. Thus, one’s self concept contains not just a personal
identity but a social identity as well.
 Social Identity: “We” aspect of our self-concept
 The part of our answer to who am I that comes from our group memberships.
 Ex: Elle Woods identifies herself as a woman, an American, a blonde, a Delta
Nu sorority member, and a Harvard Law student.
3.4.1 Social Identity Theory: By Henri Tajfel and Turner
Social identity theory states that we draw a part of our sense of identity and self-
esteem from the social groups that we belong to.
 1. We categorize: We find it useful to put people, ourselves included into
categories. We might label someone as a Filipino, American, Asian, Doctor,
Teacher, etc. It is a shorthand way of saying some other things about the person.
2. We identify: we associate ourselves with certain groups

 Ingroup: “Us”, group of people who share a sense of belonging, a feeling of

common identity and gain self esteem.

3. We compare: we contrast our groups with other groups

 Outgroup: “Them”, a group that people perceive as distinctively different from

another group with a favorable bias toward our own group.

Individuals also evaluate themselves partly by their group memberships. Having a

sense of “we-ness” strengthens the self concept and help individuals feel good.
Moreover, seeing your group as superior helps you even feel better. For example, you
are part of fan club of Blackpink and you consider yourself a blink. You might say, I am
a blink, blink feels good. Therefore, I am good.

3.5 Self-presentation and Self-monitoring

 Self-presentation:
o Wanting to present a desired image both to an external audience (other
people) and to an internal audience (ourselves).
o The act of expressing oneself and behaving in ways designed to create a
favorable impression/impression that corresponds to one’s ideals.
In familiar situations, self-presentation happens without conscious effort. In
unfamiliar efforts, perhaps at a party with people, you can be so self-conscious of the
impressions you are creating. But when you are with friends, you tend to be less modest
or care free.

Social networking sites provide a new and sometimes intense venue for self-
presentation. Users make careful decisions about which pictures, activities, and
interests to highlight in their profiles.

 Self-monitoring
o Tendency to be both motivated and capable of regulating one’s behavior
to meet the demands of social situations.

People act like social chameleons: They adjust their behavior in response to external
situations. They are more likely to express attitudes they don’t really hold and less likely
to express or act on their own attitudes. For example, you are not really a dog lover. But
the guy you like brought you to a dog café for a date because he loves dog. Because
you want that guy to like you, you behaved in a way that says you are a dog lover when
in fact you are not.

a. High self-monitors use self-presentation to try to get other people to like them by
behaving in ways that the others find desirable ((I tend to be what people expect
me to be)
b. Low self-monitors care less about what other people think. They are more likely
to talk and act as they feel and believe

3.6 Conformity and Its Varieties

Is conformity good or bad?

The question has no scientific answer. Conformity can sometimes be bad when it
leads someone to drive drunk or to join in racist behavior. But it can also be good when
it keeps people from cutting into a theater line or when it forces you to wear a face
mask. Sometimes it can be insignificant when it directs a member to wear a certain shirt
color

 Conformity
o A change in behavior or belief as the result of real or imagined group
pressure.
o It is acting or thinking differently from the way you would act and think
if you were alone.

Example: If you and your friend both ordered milk tea, but you ordered milk tea
because you simply wanted to drink it, not because your friend ordered it, that’s not
conformity because your decision was not influenced by others. But if you ordered milk
tea because your friend also ordered it, that’s conformity.

In Western individualistic cultures, conformity is discouraged because the word

conformity carries a negative connotation. These cultures emphasize individualism, they
emphasize uniqueness and independence. Unlike in Asian cultures, wherein there is a
strong emphasis in collectivism. In Japan, going along with others is a not a sign of
weakness but of tolerance, self-control, and maturity.
 Varieties of conformity:

a. Acceptance:
 Conformity that involves both acting and believing in accord with social
pressure.
 When you genuinely believe in what the group has persuaded you to do
 Examples:
o You exercise like other people because you believe that exercise is
healthy.
 o You study just like your classmates because it will be good for you as a
student.
o You stop at red lights because you accept that not doing so will be
dangerous.

b. Compliance:
 Conformity that involves publicly acting in accord with an implied or explicit
request while privately disagreeing.
 Conforming to an expectation or request without really believing in what
you are doing.
 Examples:
o You wear a certain dress as requested by your mother although
you dislike wearing it. You might comply to reap a reward or avoid
punishment.
o You say you like the food prepared by your mother even if it tastes
bad for you. Because if you tell her that you don’t like it, you might
get scolded at.

c. Obedience:
 It is a variation of compliance.
 Acting in accord with a direct order or command.
 Examples:
o If your parents tell you to clean the room and you immediately do it
o Doing what your teacher or boss tells you to do.

3.7 Group Influence

 Group – It is simply defined as two or more people who, for longer than a
few moments, interact with and influence one another and perceive one
another as “us”.

 How are we affected by the presence of others?

o Social Facilitation: The tendency of people to perform simple or

well-learned tasks better when others are present.

 Do individuals exert less effort in a group?

o Social Loafing: The tendency for people to exert less effort when
they pool their efforts toward a common goal than when they are
individually accountable.

o Free-riders: These are people who benefit from the group but give
little in return.
3.8 Attraction and Intimacy

What leads to friendship and attraction?

1. Proximity: It is defined as “geographical nearness”.

 Interaction: Liking is influenced by how often people’s paths cross.

 Anticipation of Interaction: Anticipating an interaction with a person boosts

liking for that person

2. Mere exposure effect: This is the tendency for novel stimuli to be liked more
after the person has been repeatedly exposed to them.

3. Physical Attractiveness

4. Similarity versus Complementarity

 Likeness begets liking: People like not only those who think as they do but
also those who act as they do.

 Dissimilarity breeds dislike: Discovering that the person is dissimilar tends

to decrease liking.

 Complementarity: The popularly supposed tendency, in a relationship

between two people, for each to complete what is missing in the other.

5. Liking those who like us

 A person’s liking for another predicts the other’s liking in return.

6. Relationship Rewards

 Reward Theory of Attraction: We like those whose behavior is rewarding

to us or whom we associate with rewarding events.
3.9 What is Love?
 Robert Sternberg’s Triangular theory of Love

Sternberg views love as a triangle consisting of three components:

 Intimacy/ Liking: Involves feelings of closeness, connectedness, and

bondedness.

 Passion: Feelings and desires that lead to physical attraction, romance,

and sexual consummation.

 Commitment: Feelings that lead a person to remain with someone and

move toward shared goals.

3.9.1 Types of Love

 Non-Love: Absence of the three components.

 Friendship: When the intimacy or liking component is present, but feelings of

passion or commitment in the romantic sense are missing.

o This type of love can be the root of other forms of love.

 Infatuation: Characterized by feelings of lust and physical passion without liking

and commitment.

 Empty Love: Characterized by commitment without passion or intimacy.

o At times, a strong love deteriorates into empty love. The reverse may
occur as well.
 o Example: An arranged marriage may start out empty but flourish into
another form of love over time.

 Romantic Love: Bonds people emotionally through intimacy and physical

passion.
o Partners in this type of relationship have deep conversations that help
them know intimate details about each other.

o They enjoy a sexual passion and affection. But these couples may be at
the point where long-term commitment or future plans are still undecided.

 Companionate Love: An intimate, but non-passionate sort of love.

o The intimacy or liking component and the commitment component of the

triangle make up companionate love.

o It is stronger than friendship because there is long-term commitment.

There is minimal or no sexual desire.

o This type of love is often found in marriages where the passion has died,
but the couple continues to have deep affection or a strong bond together.

o This may also be viewed as the love between very close friends and
family members.

 Fatuous Love: In this type of love, commitment and passion are present while
intimacy or liking is absent.

o This is typified by a whirlwind courtship and marriage in which passion

motivates a commitment without the stabilizing influence of intimacy.

 Consummate Love: This is made up of all three components and is the total
form of love.
o It represents an ideal relationship.

o Couples who experience this kind of love cannot imagine themselves with
anyone else.

o They also cannot see themselves truly happy without their partners. They
manage to overcome differences and face stressors together.

4. Post-assessment Activity
4.1 Post-test