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1.
moving along. There are things that need to get done, like
Pause
doing homework, washing the dog, or just zoning out in
button
3. OK?
front of the TV. OK
monitor
D. Can’t stop thinking, “What do I do?” and “This is awful.”
Feelings are swirling around inside you, and it feels like an
2.
alarm bell is goingFoff ocu in your body. You don’t know how to
s
fix this situation
flaandshlighteveryone OK.
make
4. NowMap
compass
Copyright ©
4 Copyright © 2022, Mind20
Your Brain,
22, Mi Inc. NowMaps: A Tween’s Guide. All rights reserved.
nd Yo ur Brain, Inc
. NowMaps
: A Tween’s
Guide. All rig
hts reserved
.
1
Handout
WHAT’S A NOWMAP?
When hard things happen, our bodies have sensations we don’t always understand, our mind
has thoughts that are sort of mixed up and confusing, and we might not get along well with
our friends or family. When we mash all those things together—what’s happening inside our
mind and body and what’s happening between us and others—we experience what are called
feelings or emotions.
Most kids (and even some adults) have trouble dealing with their emotions
sometimes. A NowMap is a special guide that will help you name and cope
with your feelings. It shows you what’s happening inside your mind and body
and in your relationships with your friends, your family, and the planet.
A NowMap shows where you are right now so you can
decide where you want to go next.
When you know how to make and use a NowMap, you’ll understand your feelings so you can
ask for what you need—calmly and bravely. You’ll feel good about your family and your friends
instead of worrying about them being upset with you all the time. Most of all, you’ll feel happy
and connected.
OK?
1. 3.
Pause OK
button monitor
2. 4.
Focus NowMap
flashlight compass
Copyright © 2022, Mind Your Brain, Inc. NowMaps: A Tween’s Guide. All rights reserved. 1
Here’s how those tools will support you in your NowMap adventure. At each point along your
journey, you’ll do four things:
Challenge 3
1. Pause: You’ll use your
Focus the pause button
flashlight to stop
inside youryour body
body. Canand
youstop talking
notice so you can
any feelings that
practice responding instead of reacting.
you have? Describe each feeling you notice: What does it feel like in your
body? What sorts of thoughts do you have about it? Have you ever had the
2. T une in: You’ll usebefore?
feeling your focus
Are flashlight to notice
you comfortable what’s
with happening inside you and
the feeling?
around you. Then you’ll name what you are feeling so you can understand what you
need.
3. M
easure it: You’ll use your OK monitor to decide how you’re feeling about your
experience right now—if you’re “OK,” “almost not OK,” or “not OK.”
ope withChallenge
4. C 4 passed your “too much” point and are not OK (or almost not
it: If you’ve
Rub the
OK), you’ll choose palms of
a coping your
skill hands
to feel together fast for 10 seconds. Focus your
better.
flashlight on the palms of your hands. How do they feel? What do they
lookyou
Are like? ready
Touch one
toofsetyouroff
palms
on toour
youradventure?
forehead. What do you notice?
2 Copyright © 2022, Mind Your Brain, Inc. NowMaps: A Tween’s Guide. All rights reserved.
Quiz
WHAT’S YOUR
WorksheetREACTION STYLE?
C. Pretend it’s not happening, even though it’s really hurting you. Instead, you stay busy and
put your attention into other things, like offering to help your teacher with something.
D. Get so overwhelmed by the embarrassment that you feel sick, are shaky, and have so many
thoughts swirling around that you feel dizzy. You really don’t know how to fix this situation,
and it’s overwhelming.
Copyright © 2022, Mind Your Brain, Inc. NowMaps: A Tween’s Guide. All rights reserved. 3
Example 2: Being Called On
Your teacher calls onChallenge 3 and you’re not sure of the answer. You:
you in class,
Focus your flashlight inside your body. Can you notice any feelings that
A. Freeze up. It’s getting
you have? Describe
more and moreeach feeling
awkward youAfter
now. notice: What
your doesgoes
teacher it feel
onlike in your
to the next
body? shutdown
kid, you just feel totally What sortsinside.
of thoughts do you have about it? Have you ever had the
feeling before? Are you comfortable with the feeling?
B. Grunt and shout that it’s not fair the teacher called on you without any warning!
D. Feel your face getting hot as nervousness washes over you. In a shaky voice, you tell the
teacher that you’re not sure, and you can feel everyone looking at you. You just want to
Challenge 4
disappear.
Rub the palms of your hands together fast for 10 seconds. Focus your
Example 3: Hearing flashlight on the palms of your hands. How do they feel? What do they
an Argument
look like? Touch one of your palms to your forehead. What do you notice?
Your parents get in a big fight. You can tell they’re really mad at each other right now. You:
A. Get in your bed, pull the covers over your face, and try to feel nothing about it. Before you
know it, an hour or more has passed, and you’ve just been laying there the whole time.
B. Feel like a volcano is about to explode in you! The more they argue, the more you want to
walk in and shout, “STOP!” But instead, it comes out later through mean remarks and what
your parents call an “attitude.”
4 Copyright © 2022, Mind Your Brain, Inc. NowMaps: A Tween’s Guide. All rights reserved.
Example 4: Missing a Friend
D. F_____ Getting
eel like bad news
your whole world just collapsed when you realize your friend ditched you. You feel
taken
_____ over by a mixture ofor
Not understanding sadness and worry.
being confused about something
_____ Making a mistake
Take_____
a look back at
Things notyour answers
going to learn more about your reaction style. Keep in mind you
as planned
might have a blend of styles, and in some cases, it depends on the situation. All of us are unique!
_____ Being late
• I f you mostly answered A, you shut down. When things get too intense, you feel
_____ Tests and grades
scared and nervous, and you really don’t want to cause more chaos. Instead of sharing your
_____ Losing
feelings a game
and what you need, you shut down because it just doesn’t feel safe to speak up.
• I_____
f youHaving
mostly too answered
much to do B, you lash out. When things get too intense, anger
swirls
_____ through
Not doing your
wellbody. It feels like a big, intense anger volcano that just needs to burst!
at something
And it often does burst with an explosion of angry words or unhelpful behaviors, like
Thepushing, hitting,
good news or making
is, you’re goingfun of someone
to learn a bunchelse.
of tools in this book to
help you come back down from your “too much” point—as well as tools to
• I f you mostly answered C, you look anywhere else but inside. When
prevent you from getting to this point in the first place. Before you know
thingsbecome
it, you’ll get tooaintense, you try to just
pro at responding ignore
to hard your feelingssituations
or challenging and needs inbecause
a they don’t feel
goodway!
healthy or pleasant. You don’t like feeling uncomfortable stuff. You try to keep the troubling
thoughts and feelings out of your mind, pushing them deep, deep down. Instead, you stay
distracted, thinking about other people’s problems or staying super busy.
• I f you mostly answered D, you get swept away. When things get too intense,
it feels like a big flood of feelings has swept you away. Your body starts to feel unwell, and a
mix of emotions—like sadness, worry, anger, loneliness, and jealousy—might be happening
at once. You’re not even sure what you feel, but you know you don’t feel well and wish you
knew how to make the flood of feelings stop.
Copyright © 2022, Mind Your Brain, Inc. NowMaps: A Tween’s Guide. All rights reserved. 5
MY NOWMAPS TOOLS
OK
Coloring Page:
6 Copyright © 2022, Mind Your Brain, Inc. NowMaps Jr. All rights reserved.
About the Authors
Daniel J. Siegel, MD, author of the NowMaps series, is a clinical professor of psychiatry
at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA, the founding co-director of the UCLA
Mindful Awareness Research Center, and the executive director of the Mindsight
Institute. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife, with welcome visits from their adult son
and daughter.
Deena Margolin, LMFT, co-author of NowMaps for tweens, specializes in helping children
and families connect with compassion and build skills for resilience. She is a co‑founder of
Big Little Feelings (@biglittlefeelings), a community that helps parents and caregivers of
children ages 1–6 to navigate tricky toddler situations and raise resilient, compassionate
humans. Her experience includes serving as associate director of the Mindsight Institute
under Dr. Dan Siegel and Caroline Welch; she later trained at the Center for Mindful Living.
for
ages
8-12
for
ages
2-6
Available on
TM
pesipublishing.com