Our Duty to Speak 11

Our Duty to Speak

Gabriella Hurd

Northern Oklahoma College

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With the implementation of Zoom, virtual reality, and social distancing, it is easier to be

isolated than ever before. If someone wanted to live disconnected from their physical

community, they could get their college degree, grocery shop, and have a relationship completely

online. The internet provides useful services but can lead to a very secluded lifestyle. Isolation

from the outside world leads to depression and raises anxiety. Research has found that isolation

“negatively affects learning and growth, and it prevents people from effectively socializing,

which is a fundamental human need.” (Kevin Sikali, 2020) Effective communication is key to

happy and healthy relationships. Speaking positively to others is a simple but effective way to

fight the negativity that everyone experiences in daily life. While some believe that words have

no impact on others, everyone must tell people they are important, because these words

encourage, give comfort, and reduce stress.

Everyone must tell people they are important because these words encourage them. There

is power in words, the real power to change circumstances. Let us look at what the Bible has to

say about this topic. "The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the

consequences.” (New Living Translation, 2011, Proverbs 18:21). To encourage someone is to

give the energy to keep putting forth effort in life. Speaking positive words over a person's life is

completely free, other than the breath that it takes to say it. I argue that we must tell people they

are important, to give them the power to be encouraged.

Everyone must tell people they are important because these words give comfort. The

opposite of hope is grief. From personal experience, a lack of hope is best described as misery
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and grief. There is a deep longing to be appreciated and to be comforted by others. Kory Floyd

(2013), a professor at Arizona State University informs us:

When I think about the ability of an affectionate act to soothe us and ameliorate

our stress, I think about it as an example of survival behavior. So that is my theoretical

picture of why affection is something that we do in the first place, where it came from,

why we value it, and why we feel like we suffer when we do not get enough. (para. 21)

This evidence further supports the point; we have an instinct within ourselves to desire positive

input from others. When we are told we are important it satisfies a survival necessity. I argue that

we should tell people they are important because it is a way to lessen the suffering felt within

people.

Everyone must tell people they are important because these words reduce stress. My

favorite point to make in this argument is that words can be used to not only reduce stress in the

receiver but the giver as well. Scientifically backed evidence shows:

In his lab, Floyd can induce and measure the stress response in his subjects. In

one study, he found that writing a letter expressing feelings of affection lowered people’s

stress levels back to normal faster than simply thinking about a loved one, journaling,

meditating, or doing nothing. He found that the highly affectionate people did not have as

strong of a stress response as their less affectionate peers. For example, they did not

produce as much cortisol, and their blood pressure did not spike as high. Being

affectionate seems to offer protection against the effects of stress. (Kory Floyd, 2013,

para.13)
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Expressing affection to someone not only can help them but helps the giver as well. I argue that

the simplest action of expressing affection and telling someone they are important should be

taken by everyone to reduce stress.

Although some scholars claim that words have no power over people, I find this

counterclaim false. The first piece of counterevidence might be: “For example, more people

agreed that a child snuggling with them was more loving than someone simply saying, ‘I love

you.’...You might think they would score on the same level, but people were more in agreement

about loving actions, where there’s more authenticity perhaps, instead of a person just saying

something.” (Katie Boehn, 2017, para. 7) It is understandable to see why people would prefer

loving actions, but loving actions are not always appropriate, such as with strangers. It is not

appropriate to cuddle with strangers or hug someone off the street. Therefore, I argue that it is

important to tell people they are important, it is simple and appropriate in every circumstance.

Many may disagree and think that because actions speak louder than words, words do not serve

any importance. The second piece of counterclaim evidence could be, “We found that behavioral

actions — rather than purely verbal expressions triggered more consensus as indicators of love.

(Katie Boehn, 2017, para. 7) In my evaluation of this evidence, I concluded that behavioral acts

do serve a significant role in expressing affection, but without words, behavioral acts would be

missing their effectiveness. I imagine this as a husband kissing his wife when he gets home

without saying anything affectionate, it leaves something to be desired. The third piece of

counterargument I found was, Saeideh Heshmati (2017) said, “Even though the results may

reflect how the American culture, in general, feels about love, individuals still can and do have

their personal feelings about what makes them feel loved. (Para. 12) Everyone has their way they

appreciate being shown affection. My claim is no matter the preference, telling people they are
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important is always appropriate. Actions are not always the best course of action. To throw out a

short affectionate phrase that can be easily received by anyone. I argue, “Still, our words provide

the basis for human connection.” (Chris Hazell, 2017) Building connections give people

encouragement and hope.

The significance of the claim of this essay is that we must freely encourage, give comfort,

and help people feel less stressed. People should take away the significance words can have on

other people's lives. Even the smallest gesture of appreciation through words to a stranger can

change their lives for the better. Encouraging others might be the simplest but most influential

action we can take. It is important to fight against the culture of isolation and adopt a culture of

appreciation toward one another. Everyone must speak positive affirmations to one another

because it encourages, comforts, and reduces stress.

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References

Bohn, K. (n.d.). Love actually: Americans agree on what makes people feel the love. Penn State

University. Retrieved November 7, 2022, from

https://www.psu.edu/news/research/story/love-actually-americans-agree-what-makes-

people-feel-love/

Boudreau, D., & Kullman, J. (2013, February 25). Study: Expressing love can improve your

health. ASU News. Retrieved November 7, 2022, from https://news.asu.edu/content/study-

expressing-love-can-improve-your-health

Hazell, C. (2020, December 19). How much do our words matter? Viewpoint. Retrieved

November 7, 2022, from https://viewpoint.pointloma.edu/how-much-do-our-words-matter/

Sikali, K. (2020, November). The dangers of social distancing: How covid-19 can reshape our

social experience. Journal of community psychology. Retrieved November 7, 2022, from

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7461541/