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The Answers Are Not Always Optimism: Overcoming Toxic Positivity During
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The Answers Are Not Always Optimism: Overcoming Toxic Positivity During
COVID-19 Outbreak

This essay is being made for National Essay Competition “EVAG2020” that
being held by
EFEC

Rahmadina Syarafina Wibowo

Faculty of Humanities

Bina Nusantara University

2020
 BACKGROUND

In primary concern of COVID-19 pandemic, College enacted to do home learning

throughout semesters. By having interactions either through texts or calls, those can’t
emulate the same compassion as face-to-face communication. Whereas being at home
mires college students to steel oneself for uncertainty, workload, and mixed feelings,
such as distress, anxiety, and low self-esteem. What we thought dreading is likely to
forge the sense of relatedness between the groups. Studies showed how people are
interested to attend an institution not only for accomplishing their duties but also for
meaningful social interaction (White, 2007). It is plausible that a meaningful
interpersonal relationship, attentive care, and rootedness have been mentioned by
psychologist as part of existential human needs (Feist & Feist, 2013). Unconditional
positive regard fulfills the needs for acceptance and affection from others regardless of
what the person says or does (Roger as cited in King, 2017). However, positivity has a
hidden presage for college students.

Positivity empowers us to grow and seize the opportunities, but it will be a backfire
when someone feels stuck in life. By forcing positive vibes, it can also invalidate and
deny the exasperated feelings that we experience for real. It is known as “Toxic
Positivity”, which is an overgeneralization of optimism and happiness across all
situations that deny the impending issues and inhibit unpleasant emotions (Quintero &
Long, 2019). It implies that feeling bad over something is necessarily disdain and
ominous (Fosslien & Duffy, 2019). Despite failure and negative emotions being
labelled as hindrances, those are inevitable and necessary for lifelong learning. Anxiety
is an inherent instinct to prepare our mettle for venturing the challenges. If we let those
negative feelings unprocessed, it will be stored dysfunctionally and become aggravated
when the triggers are evoked (Hensley, 2016). According to a study made by the
Michigan State University (2017), people 80% of our minds are brimming with
negativity. Suppressing emotions can lead to life disruptions, such as hostility and
stress-related illness (Freud as cited in Feist & Feist, 2013). Catharsis enable people to

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address the negative effects adhered on the issue. Hence, it prevents the simmering
tension inside before detonating and lashing out. It releases pent-up emotions by talking
them out (Bushman, 2002).

Emotions play important roles in the maintenance of functioning and interacting.

Conversely, Fosslien and Duffy (2019) identified how most of the teachings brought
up the best way to handle works yet none of them told how to plough on shimmering
emotions nor compounding trivial matters. Being positive is believed to bring a faster
and happier conclusion (Ehrenreich, 2009). Age schemas are linked to age-related
generalizations that influence evaluations, inferences, and judgements over people or
events (Kurysheva, 2014). These kind of patterns will likely pass down from generation
to generation and is prone to insecurity and stress within groups (Bowen as cited in
Gladding, 2018).

Some of us feel that we are not understood because we can’t be understood (Goulston,
2010). We looked for emotional supports yet our matters look like insignificant to
others. Invalidation of those kind do nothing but draw them to loneliness and trust
issues. According to Goulston (2010), the pitfalls occurs when someone is driven to
reply as for responding, not understanding. Many of people still prefer being solution-
oriented as the effective way of solving problems, therefore they push and coerce others
the feasible ways in their own view. Stumbling on the repeated compounding responses
from others presage us into learned helplessness (Leonard, 2019). Our thoughts seemed
to think that we are in a helpless position, as if our needs to be listened collided against
others. It will stop someone to engage in compassion with others to the extent of feeling
insignificant, alienated and isolated (Cherry, 2020; Smith & Harte, 2015). Withdrawing
can be a coping mechanism for someone that fear of judgement, yet it plummets the
self-esteem.

Overwhelming thoughts and feelings induces amygdala hijack to shut down our logical
mind and let it drive into precipitate perception (Goulston, 2010). As the result of
subjective perceptions, it will shape our thoughts and behaviors over the times (Feist

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& Feist, 2013). Correspondingly, it affects daily functioning, work life, interpersonal
relationship, and teamwork (Smith & Harte, 2015). Ambarwati, pinilih, and Astuti
(2019) showed the rate of stress afflicted on college students are 57,4%. Disruptions
cause perpetuated physical reaction, maladaptive coping, thus to the extend suicide.
Maharani (2007) found the tendency of suicide is an impact of abstinence of emotional
response and communication. Susceptibility to deterioration escalates the issue to the
next highest level mental health among society. Therefore, the next chapter will discuss
how to maintain mental health by examining toxic positivity.

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 EXPLANATION

Positivity is a skill and a mindset granted on someone (Gordon, 2019). Toxic positivity
happens when someone is fixated in happiness and optimist views. It promotes an
unrealistic standard and a fixed mindset that makes it difficult to accept other
possibilities offered (Primastiwi, 2020). Rather than attaining happiness, it is
susceptible to succumb on setbacks before we are able to fulfill that standard (King,
2017). Happiness is rather a temporary state. Some people promotes happiness as part
of natural state of mind, while nothing is more natural than sadness when someone is
racked (Salama, 2018). In contrast to toxic positivity, healthy positivity is a result of
growth mindset. Growth mindset allows someone to deliberately accept all feelings
that entail the events. The mindset itself can change and reckon someone to view
setbacks as opportunities to learn and cope with (Aronson, Wilson, & Akert, 2012).
Likewise, the healthy positivity processes and takes account of what happened to the
body and mind over the events.

In fact, the difference between toxic positivity and healthy positivity is still
confounding for most people. It is also laborious for some college students to endeavor
the positivity as growth mindset. Perception and age schema takes part of how we
construct our judgements and inferences (Kurysheva, 2014). Primastiwi (2020)
mentioned that showing disappointment or sorrow can allude to abstinence of gratitude.
On the other hand, it can likely be a sign that people need help when they confide their
feelings to others. There are times where we want to be listened despite the solutions
we have in hand. As Erikson (cited in Gladding, 2018) believed that actually people
are endowed with inner resources and abilities to solve their own problems even if they
don’t have a causal understanding of it. It shows how we have the autonomy to decide
problem solutions yet emotional setbacks hinder us. Susceptibility to disregard those
emotional setbacks prone people to make themselves oblivious (Maharani, 2007).

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On the other hand, fixed mindset is misleading people to ingrain improper concept of
empathy. Empathy is one of social skills that enables us to be sensitive and feel another
person’s shoes as if they are experiencing themselves (King, 2017). Empathy is prone
to improper use by merely addressing themselves as experienced to make it comparable
(Eisenberg & Strayer, 1987). Whereas empathy requires appreciation of other’s mental
state and emotional responses that shows a greater comfort. The author identified that
the abstinence of empathy has been an issue of toxic positivity.

Positive vibes, well-being, and mental health have been promoted on social media,
sites, and mobile apps. They are informed how the psychological issues are arising
among the whole life aspects, from the innate personality, planned behavior,
relationships, and other related grounds. They are able to get the big picture of what
mired if they were in another person’s shoes, but they are still susceptible to steep
downhill. None of these tools provide direct learning from experience to bolster
empathy. Therefore, the author is willing to draw a new innovation, namely Chat
Simulation. Chat Simulation will be conducted in established mental health-based
mobile application, such as Kalm, Wysa, and Riliv. The use of Chat Simulation will be
one of the efficient ways to improve mental health, considering Indonesia has 132
million digital natives that immerse themselves in technology to endeavor all activities
(Supratman, 2018).

Throughout the Chat simulation process, binaural auditory will be played. Research
found that binaural auditory helps the user to process what was taught deeper to the
subconscious, thus ingraining it to be readily applied in real life events (Hensley, 2016).
Initially, Chat Simulation will deliver a course of appropriate emotional responses. This
includes paraphrasing, reflecting thoughts or feelings, summarizing, clarifying, and
probing. Besides making people feel understood, probing with open questions helps
them tap back their inner resource. Thus, they can notice other possibilities they
couldn’t see when they were distressed (Gladding, 2018). It will prevent us to give
instant judgement as a solution that will deteriorate their feelings.

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Chat Simulation will cover three dimensions of empathy, which are emotional
simulation, perspective taking, and emotional regulation. Emotional simulation will
induce brain activation to mirror what other’s bodily experience (Elliott, Bohart,
Watson, & Greenberg, 2011). Enhancing social perspective taking skills we have
developed since childhood enables us to sync ourselves with others. Besides providing
compassion for others, the user is backed up with emotional regulation to soothe
personal distress at the other’s pain. To implement those dimensions, the simulation
will show a short video representing the issue in order to draw perspective taking skills.
Likewise, Auliyah and Flurentin (2016) identified the use of film is effective to foster
empathy. Afterwards, the bot will conduct the conversation along with the melancholic
(calming) music playing in the background to initiate the brain activation. Chat
Simulation will stimulate the user to pick responses that represent degrees of empathy.
Other features will provide mindfulness session and reflective journal that can be used
anytime by the users during stressful times.

Given the above, mechanism of the innovation brings a fresh mindset to counter toxic
positivity. Gratitude is not an instant gratification, rather it is a process that takes time.
The new mindset will endeavor gratitude from deprivation to acceptance. The sense of
being understood will foster the sense of safety that enable the person to address and
process the problem disarmingly (Elliott, Bohart, Watson, & Greenberg, 2011).
Therefore, it will subdue amygdala hijack and let the brain process the issue to a
constructive solution.

Bringing healthy positivity in interpersonal relationship is necessary for maintaining

mental health. It will enhance the connection with others and the sense of meaning
among the society. Ryff and Singer (2008) mentioned developing and Having good
social support to cope with may help protect you against the harms of stress. In the next
highest level of stress, meaningful relationship allows us to not feel ashamed to reach
professional help to get better understanding of processing the issues. To build a
meaningful relationship is not only about giving positive words, but also processing
the issue and promoting strong emotional responses.

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 CONCLUSION

Many of us still think feeling bad over something is necessarily disdain and ominous.
Yet, a dynamic life will make it natural for someone to feel sad and happy in certain
events and challenges. Emotions have an important role in maintaining social bonds
and activities of daily living. Learning how to strive forwards by validating one’s
feelings and thoughts are necessary. In contrast, being positive is believed to bring a
faster and happier conclusion. Forcing positive vibes and inhibit authentic feelings
bring Toxic Positivity. Toxic positivity draws a fixed mindset of unrealistic standard
for someone to get unconditional positive regard. Bottling up emotions will cause it
unprocessed and stored dysfunctionally. Despite the importance of releasing the
emotions out, people need to attain acceptance and emotional response from others.
The author identified that healthy positivity and toxic positivity are still confounding
for most people, similar to proper empathy.

In order to nurture proper empathy and healthy positivity, the essay offered a Chat
Simulation as an innovative invention. It will help both of the party to process the
pains and sync with the person emotionally. It will enhance the connection with
others and the sense of meaning among the society in order to maintain mental health
during Covid-19 outbreak. Considering deterioration to mental health has been the
next highest level issue among society besides global economy and health. Chat
Simulation will empower college students as digital natives to sustain well-being and
healthy positivity. By enclosing this essay, the author believed the issue can be
overcome by working out together with institutions, app developers, and community.

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