Destiny Martinez

Professor Ying Xu

Composition 1 ENGL- 1110

December 5, 2023

Memoir: My High School Life

When I was in high school, it was a very interesting four years. There were a lot of
changes, both school-wise and life-wise. Who knew my life would become so different? It all
starts off at Espanola Valley High School, so about freshman year in 2019/2020, I was 15 years
old, and it started off all normal; I was so excited to finally be in high school that I even joined
the softball team, and then COVID-19 hit. My older brother, Jerome, was a junior at the time as
well. I remember going to school with my brother being so embarrassing, and I really don’t
know why. When we were at school, we would pretend we didn’t even know each other, until
one day, eventually, his friends and my friends saw both of us get into the same car, and sooner
or later, questions got asked like crazy. Everyone asked me, "OMG, you have a brother?” and his
friends asked him, "Dude, you have a sister?” Anyway, my freshman year was cut off so short
around March 2020 that I really didn’t get that full freshman experience. Everyone nationwide
had to do school online for about two and a half years. That wasn’t so fun because the school
year was so short. I couldn’t do much, and neither could anyone else. Many people lost loved
ones; even I did. Having to learn online was probably the worst thing ever, but being home in my
pajamas and still lying down was the best. Now this is where the roller coaster comes into my
life.

By then, you'll already know it's my sophomore year, and my brother is a senior. That
year was so challenging and heartbreaking for me. I remember thinking about how fast my
freshman year went, and who knew the next couple of years were going to go by faster? I hated
online school because I would stay up super late until 3 a.m. and then wake up to join my class
on Zoom at 8 a.m. Then I would wait till the teacher called roll, then turn off my camera and go
back to sleep. I felt like I didn’t learn anything while going to school online; it was the worst.
Everything was fine and going well for me in school until my mom passed away unexpectedly
around February 2021. I remember making that phone call to all my family members, telling
them that my mom had passed away. I was outside, walking back and forth and crying as I saw
all the police cars and ambulances parked in my yard. It was so cold and windy; a couple
minutes later, it started snowing like crazy. To me, it was a sign that my mom had made it home
peacefully. At that time, I was still 15 years old, and my brother was 18 years old. Everything felt
so weird; I was experiencing emotions that I had never been through before. I didn’t go to online
school for about a month, and it was so hard to have to go through that. I was a straight-A and
honors student, so getting behind in school was very frustrating. I ended up doing all my work to
distract me for a little bit and to get my grades back up, but it didn’t distract me for long. I was
put in counseling for a while, and it didn’t do much but made me more mad about life. I was
always pushing myself because, even though my mom's passing made a traumatic change in my
life, I knew I had to keep trying in school. As I kept going, I knew it would help in the future
with so many things, and I was right all along. Me and Jerome moved into our grandparents
house; their house was right next to our moms. We would always hang out at our grandparents
house, so moving there wasn’t uncomfortable or anything. Our family members kept trying to be
active with us and take us on little trips, but me and my brother just wanted to be alone. We
didn’t get that much time to grieve because of all the stuff that was going on. We were both in
shock for the longest time, even my younger siblings. A couple months pass, and Jerome is
graduating from high school. I was so proud of him but so sad at the same time. My mom didn’t
get to see him graduate. At the time of his graduation ceremony, you could only take four family
members. You even had to get tickets to show to the people at our school in order to get in. Since
only four of us could go to his ceremony, me, my grandma, my grandpa, and my dad’s sister
went to watch him in person at our high school. My younger siblings (Marcus and Anika) didn’t
even get to see him graduate, nor did our stepdad. They had to watch the ceremony on Zoom.
The rest of our family members had to watch it on Zoom. Everything was just so different, and
time was going by so fast.

In 2021/2022, my junior year started, and it was back to in-person schooling. It was
different and weird to be there, knowing my mom didn’t get to see me start my junior year. Since
my mom passed away, she was the only one who had full custody of me because, when I was 4
years old, my biological dad passed away. So since my mom's parents were my godparents, they
applied to become my guardians. They were going to adopt me at first, but it was a longer
process, plus I needed guardians for many reasons, especially school. So they were my guardians
until I turned 18. We had to go to court a couple times because there was a process for them to
become my guardians. It really amazed me how complicated becoming a guardian was. My
grandparents basically had to pay for me and sign a bunch of paperwork. For a minute, it felt like
I was a puppy getting adopted from the shelter. (Y’all can laugh.)

Anyway, we still had to wear masks for a while at school, and it was really annoying.
That year was probably the most important because that’s when all the testing came around. I
had worked in the summer before my junior year and while I was in school. I even made my first
big girl purchase and bought myself a car. It was a 2003 BMW 325i, and it was blue, my favorite
color. I was so proud of myself for working hard and buying my first car without anyone’s help. I
was finally getting close to accepting my mom's passing, and then all of a sudden, my step dad
passed away around April 2022. I almost hit rock bottom at that point. It was such a random day
and out of the blue for this to happen. It felt like everything got harder in life and that my world
stopped spinning. I think the hardest part of this situation was having to tell my little sister that
her dad had passed away because she was still sleeping and didn’t even know what was going
on. I was the one to call 911 and tell my family members about what had happened. For a while,
I felt so numb, and I felt like my life wasn’t fair. Only me and my three siblings were left alone,
but we had family to take us in and support us in many ways. All of us were very thankful for
every person who stepped up to take care of us. All my friends were there for me, and I thank
them all the time because I don’t know what I would’ve done without them. Even though his
passing hurt me a lot, I knew I still had to keep going to school and finish strong. I still ended up
finishing my junior year with good grades.

Senior year came, and that’s when I officially accepted both their deaths. I felt like I
couldn’t let their deaths stop me from doing anything in life. I had to keep going and keep doing
school for my future. So since me and my brother Jerome lived with our grandparents, our
siblings got separated from us because, technically, they’re our half siblings. We have the same
mom but different dads. Although I don’t consider them my half siblings, to me, they are my
blood siblings. So anyways, long story short, my siblings are half Native American, and in the
pueblo they’re from (Ohkay Owingeh, New Mexico), there’s this act where they have to stay
with a family member from their Native American side to keep their culture with them
throughout life. My stepdad had two younger siblings, which are my step aunt and step uncle.
The tribal courts granted my step aunt full custody of them. My mom's side of the family was so
hurt because they wanted them so they could stay with me and my older brother, but since the
judge granted her custody of my siblings, now they live with her. At that time, my little brother
Marcus was 14 and my little sister Anika was 13. Marcus is now 15, and Anika is now 14.

While I was in high school as a senior, Marcus was a freshman, so I saw him almost
every day, and I would always be so happy to see him. My little sister, Anika, was in middle
school at this time. I rarely got to see Anika because her aunt wouldn’t let me. That made me sad
that they were keeping me from seeing her. But now I get to see them a little bit more often
because they’re in sports, so I’ll go and watch them. For a while, I was hurt because no one was
asking my siblings who they wanted to go with or what they wanted. And they wouldn’t let them
speak up because they weren’t of age. I remember I was fighting with my stepfamily because,
once my stepdad passed, they were acting as if we didn’t mean anything to them. Mind this:
They’ve known us since we were babies. The way they were treating us was like they didn’t
want anything to do with us. They were making everything complicated for no reason. They’re
still like that to this day. I’ve come to the realization that when people pass away, everyone’s true
colors come out. People become greedy, selfish, careless, and mean. Also, when my mom passed
away, there wasn’t a will, and when my stepdad passed away, he didn’t leave one either. So since
my mom and stepdad were married, everything they had was supposed to go to their children.

Last year, in 2022, my stepfamily was trying to take everything from me and my older
brother and keep everything for them and my younger siblings. My step grandma thought that
my mom and step dad's house belonged to her, but later on she found out it belonged to the
children, and she tried getting the pueblo to take it too, but the house wasn’t on Native American
land. There’s so much more to this, but that’ll be for another time. To this day the house is just
sitting there empty and it makes my heart ache.

Back to my senior year... I made new friends and got closer to people I didn’t think I
would be friends with. This was the first actual normal school year; it felt so weird. I was still on
the softball team, and I also joined the golf team. It turns out that I ended up being really good at
golf. And I enjoy playing. I enjoyed every moment and shed some tears of joy because I was
really finishing off strong. I had a blast for a while because I was so distracted. I ended up
graduating with honors and graduating in the top 10%, ranking 6 out of 315 students. That’s
really small compared to other schools, but I was still proud. I even got this award from my
town, and they only gave it to the top 10% of students from six different schools. It was called
the “Northern New Mexico Super Scholar." You had to choose a teacher to nominate who was an
inspiration to you, and I chose my math teacher. I ended up getting a total of six scholarships,
and I was really thankful because I have no clue what I would've done without the scholarships.
To this day, I’m very proud of myself and my siblings for continuing to be strong and never
giving up. Even though things don’t always go our way, you just have to go along with them.
That’s what I’ve been doing in order to stay calm with everyone because, if not, everything can
change so fast and everyone is back to being a certain way. I just have to be really grateful that
nothing hasn’t gotten worse. I never knew family could become a certain way due to a person’s
passing. It makes you think so much more about how a person could be. Look at me now, I’m
going to college here at UNM and I'm so happy for myself.