The Story of my Life

I love stories since I was young. I read books about fairy tales and magical stories but my
favorite kind of story was the true life story of some one. I asked grandmas and aunties about
their life story when I talked with them. Through their stories, I got to know lots and lots kind of
stories such as love stories, childhood stories and even about the world war 2. The one who told
me about world war 2 is my aunty, she is my father’s cousin sister, she is old enough to be my
grandma, she told me she was about 13-15 years old in the late world war 2. At that time, they
didn’t have scissor so they had to use big knife to cut their hair and their nails. She was afraid to
get hurt by the knife so she always cries before getting hair cut or nails cut. She also told me
about the foreign soldiers (English, Japanese) stayed outside of our village and how cruel the
Japanese soldiers were at that time. I was drawn to her stories that I even wanted to time travel
and encounter the world war 2 period. I went to her house every evening to listen to her stories.
Later I got a dream to create my own life story and tell the other people. I want the people who
listen to my real life story to be mesmerized like I did the same in my childhood. I think every
life story is unique and amazing as we all have different life stories. Writing something and
expressing my feelings into words is one of my hobbies. I wasn’t a type of person who usually
shows emotions to the other people but I changed a lot now. I loves telling stories as well as
telling how I feel or writing into words. After reading about Hellen Keller in my high school
year, I learned that she wrote a book called ‘The story of my life’ and I really wanted to write
‘the story of my life’ like her. I am not a famous person or an outstanding person like her so I
think no one would want to read about me or my life story. Now, I get a chance to write an
autobiography so I am writing it with a thankful mind giving the title as ‘The Story of my Life’.

To tell my story, I was born in 1998, 23 ,December in New Delhi, India. Everyone
shocks when I tell them that I was born in India. My father and my mother were studying in bible
college in India and that is how they met and got married. While my parents were preparing to
immigrate to western countries, my father was offered to be a pastor in our village named
Tlangpi, Chin state, Myanmar. They already prepared to immigrate so my father didn’t accept
the offer for twice but when they offered him for the third time, he thought it must be the calling
from God. So he decided to go back to our village. I was only one year old and my mother didn’t
agree to go back with my father at first. My father went back alone to the village. However, my
mother changed her mind and followed my father a few months later. This is how I became to
grew up in a small village even though I was born in a big city in another country. That’s why
people get shock when they heard about it. My father was a beloved pastor in our village but our
life was not that easy. My parents had three boys after moving in our village so I am the eldest
sister with three little brothers. As we lived in a small and undeveloped place, there were many
things we couldn’t get and know as a children or a student. My father continued his bible college
while working as a pastor and he really wanted us to get a better education in big cities. I lived in
my village until my 4th grade, 9 years old. In my 5 th grade,I stayed at my grandma’s house in
Hakha which is the capital city of Chin state. We moved to Yangon the next year and I was the
only Chin and Christian girl at my school. There was a Karen/Christian girl in my class and we
became friends easily. I wasn’t really good at speaking Burmese so there were some language
barriers for me. My classmates and the teachers were good and kind to me so my 6 th grade was
fun. I attended 6th to 10th grade in no.4 Basic Education High School, Hlaingtharyar and I
finished my high school there. I am not from a wealthy family so I got only 200 kyats a day as
pocket money. My mother always tells me not to envy the other people and their things so I
wasn’t envied to the kids who got lots of allowances. Sometimes I wondered how will I feel, if I
have got that kind of life as a kid. “At least we have enough meal to fill our stomach every day
and we could study well” my parents always remind us to have a content mind and to work hard
for our futures. My father bought some books to read whenever he went outside so reading
became my hobby at such a young age. We didn’t money to join special extra tuition so I joined
the one in our neighborhood which was very affordable for us. I was loved by all the people in
my school and tuitions as I could blend really well with the other people. I finished my high
school in 2014-2015 but there was a big incident in the early 2014. At one night, I was sleeping
on my bed and I felt someone touching my hip so I thought I was sleeping with my little brother
and it was him accidently touching me while he was asleep. But then I realized, my brother slept
with my mother that night so I turned my back said “ who is it?” and I saw a man who wore a
white short pants laying beside me. When I asked who is he and he fell down from my bed and
run away. I got up and search for him for a while and I looked at the watch, it was 2:10 am in the
morning, I couldn’t find him so I woke the rest of my family and they searched for a long time
but he already got away. At first, I didn’t even know how I felt and didn’t know to scream for
help when I saw him laying beside me on my bed. The next morning was my first tuition day for
grade 10th , May, only on that morning, I felt the post affect of the last night incident and I was
suffocating during the whole class. I was only 15 years old and I didn’t have enough sex
education so I wasn’t sure if I got raped or not. I worried a lot and I waited if I got pregnant in
the school year, I couldn’t focus on my study some nights because that incident hit me if I got
some stresses due to the study as it was the matriculation exam year for me. I felt a lot of mental
breakdown during that year and I even though I wasn’t a virgin anymore and my body wasn’t
pure anymore. Those days were hell for me. However, I managed to pass my matriculation exam
in that year. My father felt guilty all the time that he is not a good father who could not protect
his daughter for a long time. He wasn’t at home when the incident happened so it made him feel
sad and guilt, we hug each other and I cried for a long time. He promised me he is building a
house in Hlegu and he will make it safe for me so no strangers could enter during my sleep. As
soon as I finished my exam, we moved again into another township, Hlegu which was my
father’s work place. We started having our own house there for the first time but things were still
uneasy for our family. We couldn’t afford to buy windows so we covered our windows with
plastics. But my father did as his promise, he managed to build window bars to all the windows.
Even if we couldn’t afford the windows I felt safe due to the window bars. I couldn’t sleep alone
in a bedroom and I became afraid of the dark so my cousin sister had to sleep with me. My
trauma was growing and when I am still afraid to stay in the dark as I become suffocated and
afraid. After passing the high school, my dad was the most delighted person as he wanted his
children to educated and live well in the future. He helped everything I needed to prepare to join
university. My parents were so happy when they came to my university (West Yangon
University)

The university and my home are in an opposite place so I stayed at my relative house and
later in dorms. I couldn’t meet my family very often so my parents sometimes came to my place
or I went back once or twice a month at the weekends. The public transportation system was so
poor and scared so it was like travelling to another city. It is very easy to go one place to another
as we have YBS bus system. My parents supported me everything I need even though we have
financial problems. In my first year of university, my younger brother was preparing for
matriculation exam, my middle younger brother was only 9 years and the youngest brother was
almost 8 years old. In second semester, I was walking to the bus stop heading to university, I
received a message that my father was hit by a motorbike. I went back quickly to Hlegu hospital
and I saw my dad was on a bed with wounds and bruises. He had some medical checks and
stayed in a hospital for one night. After his recovery, I went back to dorm and continued my
study. Later two weeks, my parents came to meet me, my father couldn’t walk well due to the
wounds in his knees. I only called and talked through the phone once after that day. Oneday
evening, I got a phone call that my father was in Innsein hospital. As soon as I heard the news, I
run to the hospital, my father was on the bed and sleeping. When I called him, he couldn’t wake
up and he had a very high fever. After calling for three or four more times, he merely opened his
eyes and replied “um” as a sign of hearing my call. I thought he would recover soon but he
passed away the next day. I still remember vividly that my father was out of oxygen and his
mouth area turned blue, there was no blood in his feet so I rubbed them to get the blood back.
But I was failed, I called him repeatedly but there was no reply at all. I couldn’t cry as I couldn’t
believe that my father is gone. Everything was so sudden and it was hard to believe for us. I only
had two weeks for the exam for my second semester but I had to stayed in Hlegu for the funeral.
I hate crying in front of people so I always try to smile during the funeral. I only cried in secret.
The saddest thing is that my father was an orphan and his life has been in miserable and difficult
his whole life and died so early. I felt so sorry for him and it broke my heart into pieces. After a
week, I went back to prepare for the exam. I only had left a week so I studied only with few
hours of sleeps. Fortunately, I passed the exam and continued my university. But then again
another bad incident followed after a month of my father’s death which was my mother’ health.
My mother is like me, we do not cried a lot but our chests pained a lot which made her heart in a
bad condition. The doctor said she might died in few months if she don’t have operation. I was
so angry when I heard that news as I’ve recently tasted the pain of losing a parent and now my
mother? So I told god he already took my father and if he take my mother again, I will not pray
or read bible anymore. Those days were the time I hate to god. Fortunately, the foreign friends of
my father heard the news and they called her to Taiwan and helped her get a treatment and
operation. My mother is now healthy like a normal person taking care us very well. In my second
year, I joined the evening class which is Liberal Arts Program, MIT. I attended two universities
at the same time and I was so busied but I got so many friends and had fun. I travelled to many
places during my university years such as Mawlamyine, Myeik, Dawei, Bagan and Mon state
and so on. Travelling is also one of my hobbies as I love sightseeing and trying new dishes. As a
blessing, I have a lot of good friends, both male and female friends. From first year to final year
first semester, I had a boyfriend who is three years older than me. He was my first boyfriend and
I was too young so I didn’t know how to handle my feelings and anger very well. Our
relationship was like a tough journey, it was so toxic and unhealthy. I never felt being loved by
him but I was too naïve so I stick with him as I thought it is okay as long as I love him, I am
happy. But I was so wrong, after a three -year relationship, I gave up and broke up with him.
There were many mental abuse and verbal abuse so I suffered the post heart- broken symptoms
and traumatized a lot over two years. I only overcome from that trauma after two years. During
those years, I couldn’t dare to date anyone. I become loving myself more and learned self-love is
the best thing for me. I cared for myself and love my friends and family more. I also learned to
say no and give more time to my family and myself.

I graduated in 2020 January, I started working as an English teacher in an NGO called

Esther Project Myanmar. Before graduating, I worked at a convenient store called ABC for a
month and a half. That experience gave me so many lessons for my life and I was happy. As a
teacher, I started to see the children as flowers in a garden. I started loving them more as I also
learned many things from them. when the pandemic started, we stopped our classes for a while
but later we tried with online classes again. The next year, the coup started again but we couldn’t
stop the classes as our students haven’t go to school for almost two years. I am happy with my
job and my colleagues are so kind. Now I have a three-years experience as an English teacher
and I am willing to dive into this field in the future too.

My story might not surprise you or make you mesmerized but I feel sad whenever I think
about my life. It doesn’t mean I don’t like my life, I am thankful for having those hurtful
experiences at such a young age. As I am not afraid of any circumstances in the future, I think
I’ve been suffered enough. These all made me into today me which is stronger and a more
confident lady. My childhood story might be in a poor condition but I have a hope to make my
future brighter than ever. I assumed my life as a diamond because a diamond was once a coal ,
only after many sufferings, it turn out into a precious diamond. So the hurtful experiences of my
life is turning me into a better person for my family and my community.

Submitted by- Grace Hleih

Submitted to- Tr. Lawun Shwe Wut Yee