Professional Documents
Culture Documents
28 FEB 2023
Maud Johnson, grandmother of five, son became more confident her su- C grade whilst Johnson received an
became the first woman for fifty-six perior strength came to the fore and A, becoming the first grandmother to
years, and the oldest competitor ever, she clawed back two rounds to take ever win the title.
to claim the gold medal. She walked the contest into a decider. By this The new champion explained her
away with her million dollar share of time Lutti’s body language indicated success as the result of a strict train-
the prize money, runner up Tommy that he already felt overawed by the ing regimen instituted by her coach
Thompson from Nigeria taking half a pretender to his crown, and the new- and grandson five-year-old Sammy
million, and third place New Zealan- comer took advantage of this to en- Johnson. "I’ve been drinking ten
der John Smith receiving a warm gage a mutual headlock which she raw eggs for breakfast every morning,
handshake from the umpire. held for three hours until the Vat- sprinting fifty miles a day and carry-
Having started the tournament a ican man retired from exhaustion. ing my daughter’s car to the end of
rank outsider she began to impress The next seven matches were barely the road and back whenever I felt my
in her second match when she took a contest as the news of Johnson’s arthritis was OK" she said. Sammy
US number three Ron Ronson by sur- supremacy overawed all her oppo- added "I always knew she could do
prise and subdued him in twenty sec- nents who became too indimidated to it. She’s my grandma.". The young-
onds with her unique move that has fight properly. ster is also her manager and has re-
been dubbed "Maud’s Death Grip". Nigerian Tommy Thompson is portedly arranged sponsorship deals
The injection of a new wrestling style also a relative newcomer to the which will dwarf her one million dol-
into the tournament was welcomed wrestling scene, but with his 210lb lar prize fund. Her new contract with
by spectators and Johnson’s pre- and frame he was expected to fare well headband designer Nike alone is set
post-match breakdances have proved against Johnson who weighs in at to earn her fourteen billion dollars
entertaining to fans. However, she only 90lb. However Johnson’s lithe over the next year. She will also be
was still not expected to win in and slender, some would say scrawny, promoting Tupperware, Halliburton,
round three last Wednesday, facing figure belies her agility and strength the Republic of Macedonia, and Gala
off against title-holder Paulo "Spine- which she demonstrated by holding Bingo. Her continued participation in
Snapper" Lutti, of Vatican City. Un- Thompson above her head several the sport is not assured as she wants
derdog Johnson was soon showing her times during the bout and throwing to spend more time on her bungee-
worth with stamina and agility easily him into the crowd once. With the jumping business, and knitting. Ev-
matching last year’s winner. Lutti’s scores tied at 2-2 time ran out and the eryone here at the World Champi-
experience paid off initially as he took contest went to a panel of judges to be onships, however, hopes for her re-
the first two rounds, but as John- assessed. They awarded Thompson a turn.