Hear me, my love

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/36353689.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Haikyuu!!
Relationship: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru
Character: Iwaizumi Hajime, Oikawa Tooru, Hanamaki Takahiro, Matsukawa Issei,
Hinata Shouyou, Bokuto Koutarou, Miya Atsumu, Suna Rintarou,
Sakusa Kiyoomi, Yaku Morisuke, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Kuroo Tetsurou
Additional Tags: Haikyuu!! Time Skip, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst,
Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Homophobia,
Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Fluff, Half-Filipino Iwaizumi Hajime
Stats: Published: 2022-01-11 Updated: 2022-04-02 Chapters: 8/? Words:
30424

Hear me, my love

by littlespacecrumbs

Summary

And I hope you will listen

When I say I love you.

// Half-Pinoy Iwaizumi Hajime and full Japanese Oikawa Tooru Panalangin AU where they
go on a week-long trip to the Philippines with Hanamaki and Matsukawa before they
proceed to their lives after high school. The only time he realized the song Iwaizumi kept
annoying him with meant something else when translated.

Notes

This is my first time writing again in almost a decade so I'm tryna familiarize myself with
posting on ao3. So yeah, I made this from the Half-Pinoy Iwaizumi Hajime headcanon that
I had in mind. Hopefully, I was able to tell the story how I imagined it!

You can give me suggestions in the comments or in my TikTok account (@kiwi_crumbs)

because I have yet to decide how the ending's gonna be. I WANT IT TO BE PURE
ANGST. but I feel like we'd all need therapy afterward. Are you guys ok with that?

I'll be posting updates every week! Depends when I get most productive >:)

Here’s a spotify playlist for you to listen to!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4dgP6KJu2Ww1hVPBEooNzx?
si=sNihZq_TRhi2br48UrDBwA
 Must be nice to have you all to myself.

Oikawa Tooru loved going on trips. He takes a lot of pictures with his film camera, gets them
developed at the store, and keeps them in a box under his bed. Special trips make it into his wall.
Hanging pictures of him smiling in swim trunks at Okinawa when he was 6, a winking face next to
a grumpy Iwaizumi at a train station to Hokkaido, and a few more that one could say are Oikawa’s
very own core memories.

One memorable trip did not make it onto that wall of fame. Pictures left somewhere else for a
reason. Pictures kept carefully, it was only seen every once in a while. It was the very first trip
Oikawa had with his 3 closest friends.

One disrupts the peace and harmony of everyone, named Hanamaki. One goes “hehe” at
everything that could possibly sound dirty, named Matsukawa. One nags and scolds everyone,
especially his childhood best friend, named Iwaizumi Hajime.

All four of them were excited, knowing it would just be them in a whole different country. It was a
very much-needed vacation and get-together before they go on their separate ways now that
they’ve finished high school. They promised to stay in contact, but Oikawa insisted they still go for
it because they’ll never know what will happen. Or maybe because they never expected that in a
few days, he is planning to live thousands of miles away from them and that they don't happen to
know it yet.

All Oikawa repeatedly chanted, for now, was “feel refreshed, nicely dressed, don’t get depressed.
” He’ll tell them soon when he feels the vibe.

“Have you not taken enough pictures already? We haven’t even gotten to the main attraction!”
Iwaizumi complained, waiting aside for the pretty boy with his arms crossed and brows furrowed.

“Have you not stared at me enough?” Oikawa retorted teasingly. “I know I look good but you can
at least try and help me take them instead of complaining over there.”

No response.

Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.

The sound of the shutter button clicking at the same amount of speed slowly tested Iwaizumi’s
patience.

Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.

Oikawa’s smile settled down to a smirk knowing fully well what he was doing to his personal
tourist guide. He took a few more selfies in different spots so he had “more choices” to post on his
Instagram feed.

Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.

“You know only sexbots leave comments under your posts right?”

“Hey, that’s not true! I have fangirls to serve Iwa-chan!”

“I hope your phone battery dies.” Iwaizumi muttered under his own breath to which Oikawa heard
when he lightly jogged to finally catch up to him.
“Rude!”

The two followed the path to the lighthouse standing tall at the end. It was quiet around, except for
the wind blowing continuously and the plants rustling every breeze passing by. Their constant
bickering noises layered those natural sounds and both agreed that if Hanamaki and Matsukawa
were there, it would have been loud as hell but unfortunately, they did not arrive until the next day
because of fully booked flights.

Thanks to Oikawa who made such a sudden decision to go on this trip at peak summertime.

A man sitting by the entrance of the lighthouse waved hello at Iwaizumi. He nodded back with a
smile and went straight ahead inside. Oikawa smiled too and slightly bowed to the old man in
respect, following behind.

Eyes wandered from the ground up to the spiraling staircase that he slowly realized he was going to
take.

Why does it feel like training all of a sudden?

“Careful on the fifth step, the floor is kind of uneven,” Iwaizumi warned from above.

It was obvious that he was excited to be back home. All Iwaizumi did this morning was rush him to
unpack his things back at the house so they could finally go there. The man kept standing by the
door quietly like some athletic trainer passive-aggressively pressuring their athlete to finish the set.

Man does it really feel like training here…

“You go ahead Iwa-chan, I’ll be taking more pics right here for a while.”

Iwaizumi shrugged and proceeded to walk up the spiral stairs. He knew he did enough nagging a
while ago so he let his companion take their pictures in peace.

Oikawa whipped out his film camera this time and stood a few steps behind the huge window next
to him. As he was positioning himself, a soft familiar hum echoed down the room from above.

A tune he hears once in a blue moon. It annoys him the first few times because Iwaizumi kept
humming it when they walk home after school or singing it to his face with such passion when he
felt like annoying Oikawa. What drives him insane is the fact that he couldn’t even understand
what it means because it’s a whole different language. English would have been easier but no, it
had to be in his native language.

Who knows? It could have been a whole diss track in a sweetly melodic tune?

But at this point, he already gave up trying to figure out what's up with that. Iwaizumi doesn’t even
listen to the song loudly. Oikawa thinks he just made it up to get back at his antics when he’s done
with him. Would have been also nice if he made another song in a different tune but no, it’s the
same fucking song every time.

He thinks his body developed the ability to tune out Iwaizumi’s voice when it’s his turn to annoy
him.

Lush green hills contrasting the blue skies filled the viewfinder of his camera, he pressed the
shutter and rolled the film a few times - determined to hang that one up on his wall for sure. It was
like a postcard came true to life before his eyes.
At the end of the stairs, Iwaizumi was waiting on the floor munching on a cereal bar. “Why didn’t
you go out?” Oikawa asked, stretching out his hands like a kid asking for a piece. Iwaizumi gave
him his remaining snack and stood up, “I want to see your reaction when I open the door.”

He then proceeded to slide it open and the fresh air rushed in to greet them. The strong bright sun
rays immediately bounced off the floor, making them squint before their eyes adjusted to a full
view of the sea and the hills meeting together. The bluest of blue and the greenest of green.

Oikawa’s jaw dropped with a matching gasp as they stepped out to the sun.

“Now this is Batanes Island in its full glory!” Iwaizumi proudly exclaimed, almost bragging. He
lets him enjoy his bragging rights because the scene is truly breathtaking like he said.

“You come to this every summer?!” Oikawa said in disbelief.

“Yup, I also go to this lighthouse every time.”

“How come you never showed me pictures of this place?” Oikawa leaned over the rails and
processed carefully how many natural colors he was seeing at the moment. He’s frying his eyes
out.

“Gatekeeping, I guess.” Iwaizumi joked, earning a glare from the guy who was eating his snack
bar. “I really wanted to bring you guys here and see it for yourself.”

“I see… Do you go here all alone?”

“Yeah sometimes, other times with my cousins.”

“Must be nice to have this all to yourself,” Oikawa mused.

Must be nice to have you all to myself.

“Mhm, last summer I brought soda and chips here and waited for the sunset while sitting over
there. I even called you that time, remember?” Iwaizumi looked over to Oikawa who took a few
seconds trying to remember which phone call was that.

“The one where I kept saying to turn off the goddamn fan?”

Iwaizumi burst into laughter at the memory, “Yep.”

“I thought you were on the balcony or something!”

“Well, this is a balcony.”

“Shut up.”

Iwaizumi laughed again at his response. He seemed to really enjoy getting back on his pretty
annoying companion. The afternoon sunlight was starting to burn their skin so they went around to
the other side of the balcony and sat on the shadow cast off by the top section of the lighthouse.
Oikawa unzips his bag full of snacks and leans back on the wall, completely relaxing off his tensed
body.
“Gummy worms, sour tapes, pocky sticks, and red velvet Oreos. Seriously?” Iwaizumi said,
rummaging through his bag full of sweets.

“Don’t eat it then! Who says I wanna share?” He scoffed and snatched away his bag.

“Check out mine.” Iwaizumi unzipped his own bag and presented each snack he brought one by
one. Cereal bar. Oatmeal cookies. Sandwiches in ziplock bags.

He gave him a weird judging look. Silence filled in. An eruption of laughter from the two followed.
Why am I on a picnic with a grandpa?

“Forgot to bring drinks though.” He told Iwaizumi.

“S’okay I got coke zero and zesto from auntie’s store.”

“What’s zesto?”

“It’s a juice pack.”

“I’ll try that one!”

And so the two started eating in peace. Iwaizumi did eat a few of Oikawa’s snacks and he also tried
his sandwiches. Apparently, Iwaizumi makes good peanut butter sandwiches. He even explained
the step-by-step process of how he makes them to which Oikawa listened attentively. What a dork.

Never mind the fact that his friend looks extremely attractive sitting next to him with his right arm
extended behind him to support his upper body weight as he leaned back. He was smiling and
laughing more often ever since they arrived here in the Philippines, it was seriously difficult to
miss and ignore.

Middle high school Oikawa would have lost his shit at the sight.

But he’s over it. Or so he convinced himself that he was. The mental images of his hot best friend
that play in his head when he helps himself say otherwise. He looked away to the distant road that
splits the hill in two. Keep your shit together, Tooru.

All that internalized scolding he made to himself, matched his aggressive biting and munching of
gummy worms.

“Slow down, dumbass.” A concerned Iwaizumi poked a hole through the juice pack and offered
him the drink. Oikawa took it without breaking his stare into the unknown. “What are you thinking
about?”

Definitely not your exposed guns flexed unconsciously to support your body.

He choked in surprise and beat his chest a few times to recover. Adjusting in his seat he said, “just
how we lost to Karasuno in our last game.”

“Wanna rant?” Iwaizumi suggested, sitting properly ready to lend an ear.

“Nah I’m good, it just annoys me how perfect it would have been to end our last year with a
victory.”

“You’ll have plenty more wins, Oikawa. I have never met anyone as determined as you and
worked as hard as you did.”

“Thanks, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa gave him a small smile and felt a little better at the reassurance.
Though he felt kinda bad because it really wasn’t what’s been bothering him.

“What are your plans after school anyway? You never told me yours.”

Well, there are three reasons why he never told Iwaizumi his plans: 1) He is going to Argentina to
pursue a volleyball career which is all the way across the other side of the world. 2) He didn’t want
to get emotional saying goodbye to his friends so he tried avoiding it as much as possible. 3) He
couldn’t bear to think how this decision would affect their friendship.

So ever since he decided he would pursue this career and train in another continent, he kept it to
himself and to his family. He knew specifically that if the Seijoh team found out about this, their
last game would have been more frustrating than it already was. Those little brats.

“I’ll still play volleyball. Although I think it would be better to talk about future plans when the
four of us are here. So let’s just come back tomorrow with the two idiots.” He answered, obviously
avoiding the topic.

Iwaizumi wasn’t satisfied with his response but he did not push through anyway. “Okay, but
someday you better treat me to dinner when you start earning big.”

He chuckled and shook his head, “as long as you pay for the drinks.”

Time passed by as they talked about the most random things they could think of, seemingly never
running out of topics despite living most of their lives together. The blue skies now painted pink
and orange put a different glow on the scenery. Oikawa wanted pictures of the sunset so they
started cleaning up and walked to the other side.

He took one with the film camera and a few more with his phone. A hand reaches out, offering to
take pictures of him. Though it was helpless because of the constant wind blowing, Oikawa
attempted to fix his hair and posed for the camera. Click.

“Do you think we can come back here together every summer?”

Unexpectedly, Iwaizumi then proceeded to turn his back to him and raise the camera a little.
Oikawa’s body reflex made him step closer and tilt his head to Iwaizumi, holding up a peace sign.
Click.

“Yeah sure, together. ”

For millions of reasons, a subtle blush crept up to his cheeks after realizing what he did. Iwaizumi
barely initiates pictures, let alone selfies. His delusional self felt so special, there was a party at the
back of his head for such a simple action. So he turned immediately to the sunset and prayed the
crimson red blends in with the golden rays painting their skin a warm color.

Oh what else could make this worse for him? Iwaizumi then stood next to him with literally no
space in between, leaning his face on his right hand as he stared at the same view. Well, maybe not
the same view anymore. Because Oikawa’s staring at a completely different view now.

Suddenly, a small hint of sadness crept in. He thought of how much he’s going to miss him when
he finally leaves. How no one’s going to wake him up when he’s too driven by his passion. How
he gave up his feelings because their friendship weighed more to him than anything else in the
world. How he’s literally going to be apart from Iwaizumi for a long time, uncertain if they will
ever have time again to meet personally. His whole life was spent with him and now he had to
learn to be on his own. He wished for nothing to change. For things to remain the same between
them. Yet he was aware that time and distance would eventually make them distant towards each
other.

A voice at the back of his head tells him to confess since he considers those “feelings” for
Iwaizumi gone now anyway. But he sternly refused, afraid it might just make things weird. It
wasn’t worth risking everything. Things are too good now to be ruined. Iwaizumi is too perfect to
be ruined.

On the ride back home, Iwaizumi noticed how his best friend became quiet, mind occupied.
Totally different from their ride on the way to the lighthouse where he kept telling him to slow
down the motorcycle because his hair that he fixed all morning was flying all over the place. He
knew something was bothering him for quite some time but he also knew to just give him space
and he’ll come around soon to tell him what’s wrong.

When they arrived at the house, a woman in her 40’s was waving by the porch. Grilling barbecue
and something wrapped in foil. That is Iwaizumi’s aunt, Auntie Joy. The older sister of his mom.
Both sisters look younger than their age and have such beautiful complexions, Oikawa pointed out
they have the same soft personality too except Auntie Joy is more bubbly and energetic than Mama
Iwaizumi. When they arrived yesterday, Oikawa realized how rich their family truly was because
they own a huge native stone house on a cliff with two floors, a huge ass porch, and a basement
that overlooks the ocean. How cool is that?

Auntie Joy seems to be the temporary solution to ease up Oikawa’s mind because he immediately
felt good around her.

“Tooru! Hajime! Did you guys enjoy your date?” Auntie Joy shouted using her fan as a
megaphone.

Oikawa beamed at her, “Definitely, Auntie Joy, it’s breathtaking up there at the lighthouse.”

“See I told you he’d love it there!” She said to Iwaizumi. “You guys should rest for a while in your
rooms while we prepare dinner.”

“Okay Auntie, I’ll help out in a few minutes!”

“Me too!”

She waved her hands no. “Not you Tooru! You are a guest! So no helping around!”

He chuckled and waved at her, “alright, alright! It smells good auntie, can’t wait for dinner!”

As they walked upstairs to their rooms, Oikawa told Iwaizumi how amazing it is that auntie Joy
studied Japanese just so she could get closer with her brother-in-law and her very own nephew.
Iwaizumi then told him how she always made sure he never felt uncomfortable too whenever he
stayed here without his mom. What a lovely lady.

At dinner, Oikawa came down to a busy floor. Auntie Joy was going back and forth from the
kitchen to the dining area. Iwaizumi was setting down the plates. His cousins were preparing the
drinks.

He walked up to Iwaizumi and started helping with the utensils but auntie Joy somehow managed
to swat his hands away and told him to go sit down and wait. The two boys looked at each other
and burst into a fit of laughter.

They started eating around 8 pm after a prayer led by auntie Joy herself. A bunch of seafood lay in
front of them ready to be devoured. Oikawa licked his lips and salivated like a dog.

Damn, those shrimps are humongous!

The barbecue and fish that auntie Joy was grilling a while ago looked absolutely delicious. Oikawa
had never seen a table this colorful with food. Even the soy sauce had tomatoes and onions in it!

“Thanks for the food!” the Japanese boys said in unison before they started digging in.

Oikawa sent pictures of the food at the group chat, Matsukawa responded with a picture of his sad
half-empty cup noodles and a picture of Hanamaki beside him eating a ready-to-eat meal at a
convenience store.

The conversation during dinner went on smoothly. Half of it was auntie Joy catching up with
Iwaizumi and the other half was her trying to get to know more about Oikawa. She managed to let
the other kids get to know the guest despite the language barrier and everyone enjoyed the fun
translations that auntie Joy kind of struggled with, especially Iwaizumi who could understand both
languages very well.

Things took a turn when asked about what they wanted to do after graduation. Oikawa knew it
would be rude to dodge the question this time because Auntie Joy asked it herself, so he finally
gathered up the courage to say it casually like it was nothing.

There was a long pause before he said, “I’ll be living in Argentina and train under this great setter
that inspired me ever since, and hopefully I make it into the national team.”

“Wow, that’s such a great opportunity for you!”

“Hold on- Argentina?”

He flinched at the simultaneous responses. Fuck. Might as well drop every information at this
point. “Thank you, auntie Joy, I actually leave in two days after we get back from this trip!”

“Oh, so that’s why you suggested for the four of you to go here? Kind of like a Despedida party!”
She said with a puzzled face.

“Two days?”

He has been avoiding looking at his friend sitting across from him but he caught his eyes for a
moment when turning to auntie Joy and saw how upset he was from the new information he was
getting.

“Who will accompany you there, Tooru?” She asked in concern.

“It will actually just be me but it’s fine, auntie, I need to learn how to be independent.”

“Oh you’re very much just like my sister, she also went to Japan all by herself to work hard. You
should ask her for some tips on how she was able to adapt easily to the new environment!”

“I’ll take note of that.” He winked and took a sip of his soda.

“Doesn’t it scare you though? Moving to a new city is already scary, how much more could it be
for a whole new country with an entirely different language and culture?”

“It honestly hasn't synced in my mind yet but anything for my goal, auntie.”

One more quick glance at Iwaizumi who stopped chiming in the conversation. He sure was having
some deep thoughts, Oikawa hoped he would understand but he also wouldn’t be surprised if he
gets upset for a very long time about this.

“Okay but make sure to visit here when you want to go on vacation okay? I’ll cook lobsters and
shrimps for you all the time.” She told Oikawa with an endearing pat on his shoulder. Her sweet
gesture was very much appreciated.

For the rest of the night, Iwaizumi couldn’t even make it subtle that he was ignoring him. As
Oikawa helped in cleaning up the table and grabbed a glass of water to bring upstairs, he was
waiting for him by the kitchen island. Oikawa waved goodnight at Auntie Joy and the kids in the
living area before they went upstairs.

Now that they were alone, he mentally prepared himself for what Iwaizumi was about to say. But
to his surprise (or dismay), he just went straight to his own room and mumbled a low goodnight
before closing the door.

Great. Well if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions.

 Why is your hand so warm?
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

“Ooh, it’s not the vibes,” Hanamaki said rather loudly on his way to embrace Oikawa.

“I’ll tell you later,” Oikawa whispered as they had a quick I-missed-you hug even though they only
got separated for two days.

Matsukawa, who was ridiculously wearing a floral button-up paired with khaki shorts, offered the
two a fist bump and they put their luggage in auntie Joy’s car.

“You must be Makki and Mattsun! Iwaizumi already told lots of stories about you!” Auntie Joy
beamed from the driver’s seat. Both were surprised to meet her because she looked identical to her
their friend’s mom. They never expected her to speak Japanese so well too.

“And you must be Auntie Joy! Thank you for picking us up, we would have died inside if the two
of us were left unattended for more than 24 hours.” Makki said as they settled on their seats.

In between Makki and Mattsun sat an Oikawa who was pissed because he got neither of the
window seats. He kept telling Mattsun he easily gets motion sickness but he simply did not give a
fuck. He said he “ loves to have a clear view of the outside world ”.

Iwaizumi was silent in the passenger seat throughout the ride, most probably still pissed at the
events last night. On the other hand, the rest of them had some getting to know each other talk and
a welcoming tour as they passed by the busy town.

“So in that area, there’s a great sandy beach with fewer rocks. I can drop you there when you guys
want to go for a swim,” Auntie Joy pointed to her left. “Or you can also go there by yourselves if
one of you can ride a motorcycle like Hajime!”

From afar distant, they saw lines of waves crashing onto the shore. The morning sun illuminated
the whole island, showing brighter colors than ever. High cliffs enveloped the small cove. They
could barely see it as they were a few kilometers away but they could tell it was like a hidden gem
that their family kept to themselves. No signs of people swimming, nor there were cottages or huts
to stay in. Just pure nature left untouched.

Makki rolled down the window and waved his hand outside to feel the strong wind. “We can get
there by ourselves auntie, Mattsun can ride a bike!”

“Mhhm and Makki will be walking on his own auntie, so we’ll be fine!” Mattsun said sarcastically.

He smacked Oikawa’s head down and covered his ears, “Hey I thought we bully Oikawa here?”

“Oh sorry my bad, it’s the jetlag.”

He slipped out from the grip and crossed his arms, “You know I heard you loud and clear!”

Yet they only looked out the window as if nothing happened. Auntie Joy enjoyed their little
arguments and Iwaizumi… Iwaizumi’s still quiet in front.
Back home, Oikawa took the duty of touring the new arrivals around the huge house while
Iwaizumi and Auntie Joy went back to town to buy ingredients at the market.

He was very proud of pointing out directions as if he lived there for years. Even introduced them to
the Filipino snacks stored in the pantry that they could eat whenever they want, with the help of
Iwa’s cousin on pronunciation.

“This is cracklings , it’s salty and sour. Apparently nicely paired with beer.” He shook the chips
and put it back on the shelf.

“And this-“ he looked at the little girl sitting at the kitchen countertop for help. Lily’s her name,
the youngest daughter of auntie Joy. She took a great liking of Oikawa since she likes pretty things
and that included the pretty boy.

“ Piattos !” She whispered to him.

“Ah, Piattos ! It has different flavors, I like the sour cream and onion one.” He patted Lily’s head
and put the chips back again. “Here in the fridge we have zesto, they’re juice packs. I recommend
the mango one ‘cause it’s not too sweet!”

“It’s like they have a convenience store in here,” Makki mused, checking the variety of snacks
organized neatly on the shelves. He was sure he’s gonna blow up before going back to Japan,
especially with how much food they serve to their guests here from the pictures Oikawa sent last
night.

“And we can get one anytime?” Mattsun asked and Oikawa nodded. “Sweet!”

Lily jumped down the countertop and ran away shouting, “ Kuya Tooru, quick! Show them the
balcony! ”

“Ah yes, little miss! Off we go to the balcony!” Oikawa announced.

“How do you guys understand each other when Lily’s speaking in English and you’re speaking in
Japanese?”

“Pretty people surpass the language barrier, Mattsun,” Oikawa said, giving his signature wink at
him. The two tried to ignore him, looked at each other with horrified faces, and tried to delete the
memory in an instant.

At the end of the hall upstairs, a door leads to the wide-open balcony decorated with beautiful
landscaping and rusticated patio chairs. Of course, the sea never disappeared in any picture. It
spread wide across the horizon, making this a perfect spot for intimate events. Oikawa thought
maybe they could spend their night here while eating midnight snacks. But he knew he had to
make it up first to Iwaizumi if he wanted that to happen.

“So, Argentina huh?” was the first thing that broke the silence after Oikawa told the two what
happened last night. Makki was still processing the information in his brain. They were sitting
comfortably in the lounge area outside their rooms, though they intended to talk on the balcony; it
was getting too hot so they stayed inside.

Lily tapped Makki’s shoulder and he handed her the elastic band. She was tying their hair in
pigtails as they talked about something so serious her mind simply blocked out their voices into
gibberish.

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Mattsun asked nonchalantly.

“Didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

“It wouldn’t have been if you said it earlier though,” Makki added.

Oikawa sighed and slumped. “I know, I should have known that.”

An arm extended to Mattsun (who had apple hair) so he could hand the brush to the little girl.
“Now that’s out of the bag, I just wanna say I wouldn’t miss you that much.”

“Mattsun!” Oikawa whined and they laughed at him. “I’ll call you the most then.”

Lily was now done clipping butterflies on Makki’s hair and proceeded to brush next Oikawa’s hair.
“Okay but seriously, don’t worry about us two. Worry about Iwa since you two are closer than any
of us here.”

“Why don’t you ask Lily how to cool down his scary cousin?” Makki suggested as he checked
himself out on the heart-shaped mirror.

He tilted his head back and asked, “Lily-chan, what do you do when Hajime is in a bad mood?”

Lily, a 5-year-old girl, felt lost at the sudden question. She hummed and tilted her head to the side
like a puppy who couldn’t understand its owner making the three boys burst into laughter at her
cuteness.

“Ask her in English, dumbass.”

“You try it Makki.” Mattsun teased.

“Nah, I failed English twice man.”

“ Lily, who looks more handsome. Makki, Mattsun, or me? ”

Lily paused at decorating Oikawa’s hair and thought carefully. The three waited tensely as if the
final service was about to be done at a winning match. Makki flashed a soft smile while pointing at
himself. Mattsun gave a smolder, buffing his non-existent buff chest. Oikawa winked and threw a
peace sign to his face competitively.

“Kuya Mattsun.” She pointed shyly at the man giving a smoldering look and the two losers gasped.

“I’m telling auntie Joy you need an early prescription of glasses!” Makki huffed. He was so sure
they bonded the most in the short 5 minutes she tied his hair.

“ How about the cutest? Who’s the cutest? ” Oikawa asked in hopes to win this round.

Without missing a beat, she pointed her lips to Oikawa and he smirked smugly at Makki. Mattsun
was laughing at the remaining loser who looked so betrayed by Lily.

Lunch was served like a feast. Auntie Joy had no choice because the three guests infiltrated her
kitchen and helped around. Not a moment of silence passed by from preparing to enjoying the
meal, stories of how the four of them met each other and how they managed to defeat powerhouse
teams in volleyball made the whole house feel lively. All of them felt at home and comfortable
with Auntie Joy’s unmatched hospitality and cheerfulness.

Afterward, they were told to rest until noon before they head out to the beach otherwise they would
fry their skin out if they started swimming at 1 pm.

Makki took a nap at the hammock by the balcony, sitting across from him was Mattsun, who
became Lily’s new playmate. This became a perfect opportunity for Oikawa to approach Iwaizumi
in his room.

He knocked twice at Iwaizumi’s door.

“Come in, it’s unlocked.”

Oikawa poked his head in and saw Iwaizumi packing clothes in his bag, he assumed it was for later
because he saw sunblocks and a towel. “Mind if I-“

“Even if I said no you would still barge in.”

“Damn, okay… true.” Oikawa entered the room and closed the door behind him. He sat on the bed
and waited for the other to say something. A few more seconds and he got nothing, so be prepared
his apology that he rehearsed in his head multiple times this morning. “Look Iwa-“

“I brought you some bread from the bakery when we went to the market.” Iwaizumi cut him off
with a genuine smile on his face as he handed him a small paper bag, sending him and his
tumbling guts into space in surprise.

Maybe this is the reason why he smiled way less than his sweet loving parents, he can fucking melt
people away to their deaths.

“Did you happen to buy some peace of mind as well at the market? I thought you’d still be upset at
me about last night.”

Iwaizumi stopped folding clothes for a moment, “I was upset, but it felt wrong to drag it for a long
time because I wanted you to know more that I will support any decision you make.”

He was about to say sorry again but he felt like he wasn’t done yet so he remained silent, fumbling
with the tassels on the throw pillow.

“It’s just so sudden you know. Think about the pressure it puts on us who wants to spend so much
time with you to make up to the following years that you’re miles away from us.”

Iwaizumi zipped the bag close and placed it on the ground. He sighed and lied comfortably next to
Oikawa, eyes closed and fumbling with the opposite tassel on the throw pillow. “If you’re scared,
tell me. If you’re sad, tell me. If you’re lonely, please tell me. You know I always got your back,
right?”

Oikawa felt his stomach drop at those words. God, you don’t know how much I wanted to hear that
for a while.

He hated being emotionally dependent on anyone, Iwaizumi in particular. Vulnerability is just

something that he tried to avoid as much as possible. But somehow Iwaizumi just knows to unlock
all that bottled-up emotion he tries to hold up for so long.
Now’s not the time to be a crybaby. He took a deep breath and leaned back to the headboard. “Of
course, I know that.”

Another moment of silence.

“Make sure to eat healthier.” Iwaizumi said, commanded rather.

“Yes, sir.”

“Don’t push yourself too hard.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And call me whenever you want.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Stop answering like I’m your boss!”

“Yes, sir.”

Next thing Oikawa knew, the throw pillow he was playing with suddenly hit his face. He hugged
this tightly and buried his face in it, hiding his smile in defeat.

Later on, Iwaizumi said, “I see Lily had fun with your hair.”

Oikawa removed the pillow from his face to say something but he flinched at how Iwaizumi was
facing so close, he didn’t even notice he rolled to his side a while ago.

Keep it light and breezy. Light and breezy. No. Fight gay panic by inflicting gay panic.

“She made me look cuter. You wanna kiss me so bad don’t you?”

Iwaizumi’s ears shot red but things happened so fast he didn’t even notice it, then he hit him again
with the pillow, “You say the dumbest things ever, Shittykawa. Get out and pack your things!”

He stood up, followed by Iwaizumi, two palms gently pushing him out to the door. “Alrighty then,
don’t think too much of me, or I might get tired running all day in your mind Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi pushed him harder and he tumbled out gracefully to the hallway. “Dumbass,” he shouted.
The door slammed close and like a slime freshly out of the bottle, he melted down to the wooden
floor and covered his face. Regrets flooding in as yet again the consequences of his own actions.

Why the fuck do I always choose the most unhinged chaotic decisions in situations that don’t favor
me?

But did it really not favor him when he surely enjoys those butterflies in his stomach when he
smiles like that? Hmm. Suspicious of him.

In the late afternoon, the four boys started to scurry around and grab snacks at the pantry last
minute. Though they were held back by Makki who said he forgot something and ran for the stairs.
Mattsun was trying to comfort a crying Lily in the living area because she wanted to swim too but
auntie Joy told her they’ll join some other day. See Mattsun may look unbothered and kind of
intimidating but somehow he’s really good with kids.
“Hajime, be back before it gets dark. Understand?” Auntie Joy reminded him before sipping her
tea. She was sitting on a bar stool reading a book.

“Yes, we’ll text too when we’re on our way home.”

Hajime… even his name is attractive.

“I know it’s a long shallow shore but still don’t swim too far. You’re volleyball athletes, not
swimming athletes. Okay?”

“Yes, auntie!” Iwaizumi responded.

Why did I just think of that? Shut the fuck up, Oikawa. Tooru, Tooru is attractive. YOUR name is
attractive.

“Oh, you should let him try this one while you wait!” She pointed to the food at the countertop. It
looked like spring rolls but it had spots of brown sugar syrup so Oikawa guessed it wasn’t that.

Iwaizumi grabbed forks for the two of them, poked one piece, and handed it to him. Oikawa then
asked, “what’s this, auntie?”

“It’s called Turon , there’s a banana wrapped in rice paper with like a slice of jackfruit in there and
it’s coated in melted brown sugar.”

“Hehe, sounds like your name.” Iwaizumi teased.

“Auntie, do you hear that? He’s straight-up bullying me!” He whined while munching on the sweet
stuff.

“Hajime,” she playfully called and he abruptly stopped.

Oikawa poked his tongue out and mouthed, good for you .

Then entered Hanamaki with a ridiculously huge donut floater on his shoulder. Auntie Joy laughed
at the sight, shook her head, and continued reading. Iwaizumi however, felt stressed.

“You’re supposed to inflate that when we get there, you know we’re only riding motorcycles!” He
scolded.

Hanamaki, dumbfounded, formed his mouth a huge ‘O’ and sheepishly smiled at him.

“Whatever, you’re riding with Mattsun anyway.”

The four of them walked out to the front of the house where the bikes were parked, ready to go for
a ride. They were rented by auntie Joy so they could roam around freely since none of them had a
driver’s license yet to drive her car. Lily had calmed down this time and kept waving goodbye as
they disappeared from her sight from the porch.

While going down the stairs, Oikawa was checking if he brought his sunglasses in his bag. He was
too preoccupied to notice the uneven step ahead of him. Before he knew it, a gasp slipped out of his
mouth and he tripped forward. Things happened so fast for his mind to process everything. The
film camera he was holding flew away but thankfully, he didn’t hear an impact on the ground, he
thought he would tumble a few times down the rocky stairs and have another scratch on his knee
but a firm grip on his wrist held him back.

“Look at where you’re going, for the love of God!” Iwaizumi scolded, pulling him back to his
balance.

He returned the film camera and Oikawa shyly took it from his hand. How embarrassing , he
thought. Memories of him blushing furiously yesterday after Iwaizumi took a picture with him with
the same camera he was holding flooded his mind.

He carefully slipped away from Iwaizumi’s grip and walked upstairs, avoiding his gaze he said,
“You go ahead, I think I forgot something.”

Whatever. Fuck these flustered feels. I’ll just savor them as much as I can, they’ll be gone anyway
once I leave for Argentina. Right? This is just… a small crush.

Oikawa huffed and grabbed his sunglasses on the bedside table. While passing by the kitchen on
his way out, he caught a glimpse of Auntie Joy still reading her book. He stopped for a moment
and made a detour to the kitchen. She looked up from her book when he walked in and she raised
her eyebrows, acknowledging his presence.

“Auntie, do you have a moment? I’m just curious about something.”

—————————

The trip to the cove honestly felt like they were on a coming-of-age independent film. Though
Oikawa had seen them to his heart’s content for two days now, he seemed to can’t get enough of
the green fields in their surroundings. No signs of towering structures in sight aside from the
distant lighthouse they went to yesterday.

They were being bathed in the soft sunlight and winds that get stronger as they get closer to the
seaside. Thanks to Lily, Oikawa didn’t have to worry about his hair because it was tied cutely by
his professional hairdresser.

At times were the roads sloped down, the four boys screamed together like innocent children
having the time of their lives. Mattsun found it hilarious how they were in sync the first time they
did it.

Most importantly, Oikawa felt the weight of his shoulder lighten up after deciding to let his heart
be. He decided to enjoy this moment, no more restraints, wait maybe just a little… and flirt all he
wants (with moderation). No one will notice anyway, no one has before, so he was confident this
time would be the same.

He called it his last hurrah before he says goodbye to Japan and his homosexuality (hopefully.)

As they expected, no one was around the quiet cove. There was only a huge tree that provided a
wide area of shade from the sunlight with soft round boulders at the bottom, a perfect place to
leave their stuff.

Makki couldn’t wait any longer and stripped his clothes off and struggled to run far with his donut
floater ‘til the water was right above his waist. Auntie Joy was right, the beach here really was
shallow because he kept running and running and still he was barely getting deep.

“That dumb fucker, he kept readjusting that stupid floater we almost slipped off the bike,” Mattsun
said, dropping his bags next to the others.
“Yesterday, Noisy-kawa kept shouting because of his hair I almost went deaf.” Iwaizumi said,
sharing his own experience of the struggle of the designated drivers.

“They should partner up on our way back.”

“Agree.”

Oikawa rolled his eyes, “Mattsun! No, I want to be with Iwa-chan!”

Mattsun laughed, pleased whenever he hears their captain whine or complain. The two clearly have
a unique synergy no one would understand but them. Once he was through with putting on
sunblock, he followed Makki who was floating around aimlessly on his floater. The two boys left
behind arranged their things first.

As they were about to leave, Oikawa’s phone buzzed twice. It was a text message from his older
sister.

Oikawa Mina

Hey, how is your stay there? Mom and Dad would like us to have dinner out at a restaurant before
you leave next week.

He locked his phone and tossed it back into his bag. It kind of ruined his mood but it was instantly
forgotten when Iwaizumi called his name.

Japan problems, stay in Japan.

Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa and asked, “Aren’t you gonna take the butterfly clips off?”

“No, your cousin worked hard on this.” He pouted.

“Surprisingly, she was able to do Makki’s hair considering he’s almost bald,” he chuckled softly.

There it is again. I’m going batshit crazy. Why'd he had to be so attractive today?

“Kid’s going places.”

Shivers traveled down to his spine when the water touched his feet. He watched as Iwaizumi
horrifyingly entered the water as if it was nothing. He seemed to notice Oikawa’s hesitation and
looked back to him, offering his hand.

“Come on, it’ll be colder if you stay still.”

DROWN ME.

Stop saying shit like that Iwaizumi, I’ve just let myself be vulnerable to you for not more than 10
minutes and you’re already making it difficult for me!

Oikawa engraved the view into his mind and swore to never forget this picture he couldn’t capture
with a camera. Just a fine young man in his black fitted rash guard standing by the shoreline,
offering his hand to be held by him. The cherry on top? Was his smile. Oh, that sweet smile of his.

He wouldn’t admit it but Oikawa knew how happy he must have been for just the four of them to
have this vacation. As someone who the group always depended on despite having no clue what to
do when they run to Iwaizumi for a rant, he knew everyone needed this to clear their minds off of
their worries.
All of them shared a common thing the past few months, and it was their fear for the new phase of
their lives. They were about to be young adults and time just felt surreal to them.

Oikawa looked at the hand reaching out to him. Man, the things I’d do to be held by him like this
all the time. He clasped his hand in his and followed Iwaizumi’s lead.

“Why is your hand so cold?”

“Why is your hand so warm?”

They said at the same time but no one dared to answer afterward. Both were just flustered and
awkward, though they never dropped one another’s hand. One tried to recall this morning’s
Filipino lesson with Lily as a diversion. One hummed the same song stuck in his head since
forever.

Oikawa cleared his throat, “you know I think I’m getting quite good at Filipino.”

Iwa raised his brow and said, “oh yeah? You talk one time with a 5-year-old Filipino kid and you
think you’re good now.”

“Mhmm! I’m a fast learner.”

“What did you learn from her?”

“I can say, ang pogi mo kuya Iwa. ”

Oikawa was ready to get splashed by water, but to his surprise, Iwaizumi just kept walking ahead.
He was pretty sure he just called him ugly?

Instead, Iwaizumi leaned back his head and started laughing out loud. “I know that, but thanks for
the reminder.”

Confused, he asked, “Wait- did that mean something else?”

“Nah, I’d actually prefer it if you call me pogi more often.”

“Why do I have a feeling this is a setup…”

“No, no! Let me teach you more! You can also use the word gwapo and it means stupid.”

“So it would be like… ang … gwapo mo? ”

Iwaizumi giggled to himself and nodded, “yeah! Good job!”

Their bodies started to feel lighter underwater as the water was now right above their chest.
Iwaizumi tugged him closer, smiled at him, and said, “but don’t go around saying that to anyone,
not even to dumb and dumber on your left, okay?”

Oikawa squinted his eyes, “This doesn’t feel right.”

He let go of Iwaizumi’s hand and plunged into the water to finally wet his head, swimming in
Makki and Mattsun’s direction. Iwaizumi caught up to them, chuckling to himself after that
conversation. He couldn't get it out of his head the whole day and whenever it replayed in his
mind, he laughed to himself. He made a mental note to buy Lily’s favorite snack before going
home later for that.
 And until the sun went down, the four of them enjoyed the sea. Being as loud as possible with no
one to hear them. Taking turns with the floater, with Makki complaining how they were all so salty
about him bringing one but now they’re all up in his business. Having an impromptu sand sculpture
competition, which ended in Mattsun being buried into a penis-shaped sand sculpture.

All captured in Oikawa’s cameras as evidence that they had one of the best times of their youth in
this getaway.

Chapter End Notes

This was supposed to be uploaded yesterday but I wasn't feeling it and redid a few
parts. I've also decided how the story's gonna end so good luck and have fun reading!
:D

Don't be shy to put comments, I love hearing your thoughts about every upload! I'm
open to suggestions as well. <333
 In the closet
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

As promised, they got home before it got dark. Four boys plopped down on their own beds in their
respective rooms, all tired from being so active in the late afternoon. Makki swore he felt his body
still floating on the water even when he was lying on the comforter.

Their stomachs were happy with the warmth given by the delicious soup Auntie Joy prepared for
them. It was Oikawa’s newfound favorite meal, called Sinigang. Kind of sour for his taste but he
couldn’t stop taking seconds, so did Makki and Mattsun.

On his bed, he was curled up, tucked under the sheets while posting photos on his Instagram
account. Shivering from the cold breeze coming into his room despite the thickness of the
comforter all because his lazy ass would rather lay there all night freezing than spend another
amount of energy into closing the window sill.

Fortunately, Iwaizumi knocked on his door. He was sure it was him because Iwaizumi has a habit
of specifically knocking three times to the same rhythm he was used to since he was young.
Oikawa hears this whenever he’s late for school.

“Come in! And please close the damn window,” he told Iwaizumi who was just about to do that as
soon as he saw his state.

“Why didn’t you close this as soon as you entered the room? You could catch a cold!”

He stretched his arms and legs out and mumbled, “too tired.”

Iwaizumi shut the windows close and leaned on the table while Oikawa waited for him to say
something. Curious as to why the good-looking boy was in his room. But a few seconds passed
and he still remained quiet, quite in a panic if he could say.

“Iwa-chan? What’s up?” Oikawa sat up. “Do you need something?”

“Right… I forgot. Wait.” Iwaizumi strode out of the room for a moment and came back with a
flower vase. It was a vase displayed out on the corridor along with a set. “Auntie Joy told me to put
it here.”

He walked over to his bedside table and placed it down. “Isn’t that from a set outside?”

Iwaizumi shook his head no and said, “Nah, the other vases are… in Makki and Mattsun’s rooms.
See… those are for guests.”

Oikawa, clearly not convinced, closed his eyes and nodded his head slowly to agree. “Alright then,
is that all?”

He hesitated and awkwardly stood there, thinking of something. He was attractive but he sure did
look stupid standing there, what an adorable dork. Then his eyes drifted to Oikawa’s arm which
had a few red spots. He noticed Oikawa kept scratching it since they got out of the water but
thought it was nothing at first. “I knew it, you got stung by baby jellyfishes.”

“Huh?”
Iwaizumi walked to him and held his arm to observe. Screaming internally, though he managed to
maintain his composure at the gesture. “Their bites aren’t really fatal but they can be very itchy.”

“But I didn’t even see any jellyfish in the water,” Oikawa said.

“They’re babies, so small you can barely see them. Wait here and I’ll go grab some ointment for
that.”

He left the room nonchalantly, leaving Oikawa who waited for the door to close before he punched
the pillows and buried his face in it to scream.

Is he really that cheeky or is he just oblivious to how attractive he says things?

The bites did irritate him a little but he didn’t notice that he had them. Oikawa took deep breaths to
calm his beating heart down.

A few minutes later, Iwaizumi came in with what looked like a small first-aid box. Oikawa
expected him to just leave it on his bed and that’s about it, but to his surprise, he sat down next to
him and grabbed his arm.

I can do it by myself, it’s just ointment …

Nah, this is an opportunity given by the gods. We do not disrupt the divine plans.

So Oikawa sat there quietly and fumbled on his phone with his free arm. Iwaizumi gently patted
the ointment on his arm, just three bites on the left. Then he did it again with the other arm, just
two spots on his wrist.

It was silent in the room, the tension so strong they could feel it on each other’s hold. Oikawa
avoided looking at him and did his best to maintain the composure he was holding up.

“All done,” Iwaizumi said.

Finally, Oikawa gathered the courage to look at him and said, “thanks, Iwa-chan.”

As he was closing the bottle, he stopped abruptly and said, “There’s one on your forehead.”

Iwaizumi squeezed a small dot of ointment on his finger and brushed back Oikawa’s hair, he
leaned closer and patted his finger on the faint red spot he saw. At this point, Oikawa’s heart was
beating out of his chest, palms sweating, and his breath increasing.

So close… too close!

To make it even worse for him, Iwaizumi huffed and smiled at him when he noticed he was
struggling to stay still. “You good there?”

Ignoring this, he chose to respond with a question, “You done yet?”

He pushed Oikawa’s hair back once again to make sure it wouldn't stick to the ointment, his touch
lingering as soon as it broke contact with him.

“Yeah, all done.”

“Thanks,” Oikawa said and pretended to be busy on his phone. Hoping he wasn’t blushing so
evidently at the moment.
He thought Iwaizumi would leave right after, but the boy just laid on his bed and pulled his phone
out as well. Oikawa noticed him smiling at his phone, probably looking at some stupid meme. But
at the quick stolen glance, he admired his favorite sweet smile of his first crush.

He didn’t know when exactly did he start having feelings for him, but there was a time when they
were 6 years old and Oikawa just learned the concept of having a girlfriend or boyfriend. He didn’t
have any friends that are girls so he figured it would be okay if he asked Iwaizumi, his only close
friend, to be his boyfriend.

Iwa, on the other hand, ran away from him when he heard this and he was left at the sandbox
crying. What he thought was rejection, was just a silly misunderstanding between them. Resolved
immediately because minutes later, he came back holding a wildflower and said, “Mom said kids
shouldn’t have that yet because we’re too young…”

Unfortunately, that’s how far he can remember. Iwaizumi said something after that but no matter
how much he tried to recall, it just wouldn't work. He couldn’t ask Iwaizumi too, that might just
embarrass him and maybe he will find it weird. But it all ended well and they made sandcastles
after that.

And ever since then, he just had something for his best friend. Oftentimes he would feel guilty and
make it stop, other times he would just let himself enjoy it when he realizes he’s human too and he
deserves to embrace what he feels.

It was only then that he noticed Iwaizumi was humming again when suddenly, Makki barged in the
room typing on his phone and laid next to Oikawa.

“What the heck are you doing here?” Iwaizumi asked, irritated.

Makki shrugged, “It’s too cold in my room.”

“There’s this thing called closing the window.” Iwaizumi sarcastically said.

“I want to be here! Why are you revoking my rights to be free?”

“Because you’d be noisy!”

“And what about you? Huh? Why are you here?”

No response. Oikawa was silently laughing at the two of them arguing, a sight he rarely sees
because no one really talks back to Iwa besides himself.

“See, just as I thought.”

Someone knocked on the door again and entered without waiting for a response.

“Not you too!” Iwaizumi complained.

Mattsun came in holding bags of chips and a zesto juice pack. “What? I heard you guys from my
room and now I’m here.”

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“I took a 30-minute nap and now I can’t sleep.”

Iwaizumi sighed and rolled to the edge of the bed so Mattsun could scootch in between Makki and
Oikawa.
Mattsun distributed the chips and extended his leg on Oikawa’s. “So, what are tomorrow’s plans?”

“We’re going beach-hopping, but we won’t be swimming anymore, just sightseeing,” Iwaizumi
said. “We can swim in the afternoon if we come home early.”

“What time do we leave tomorrow?” Makki asked.

“Around 7 am, is that good?”

“Okay but somebody please wake me up, I might oversleep.”

Mattsun raised his hand, “I’ll do it.”

Makki nudged his side and said, “Thanks, man.”

The guest of the room remained quiet, just listening to his friends talk while he slowly drifted off
for a nap.

I’m gonna miss these idiots.

Oikawa woke up to them sitting on the floor, forming a circle. Lily was also there with them and
they seemed to be playing something.

“What are you guys doing?” He asked, rubbing his eyes awake.

He searched for his phone underneath the covers and checked the time. 11:05 pm.

“We’re playing hide and seek, it’s the 3rd round,” Makki said.

“ Do you wanna join, kuya Tooru?” Lily asked.

He stared at the ceiling to gather his consciousness, still hazy from the nap he just had.

“This is the base so the challenge is to keep it quiet so we wouldn’t wake you up,” Mattsun said.

Oikawa chuckled, “How thoughtful.”

He stood up and joined the circle. Apparently, they had to pick a new it since Lily got caught first
and Lily doesn’t want to be the seeker.

They put their hands on top of each other and Iwaizumi chants, “ Maibaaaa, Taya.”

Oikawa was so lost at what was happening, he just mimicked what Lily did and showed his palm
up.

No one seemed to be the it so they did it once more. “ Di magbago, Taya.” Again, Oikawa
followed Lily and faced his palms down. “Okay, Makki’s the seeker!”

“That’s unfair! How am I supposed to know when you’re speaking in Filipino!” Makki
complained.

“I got the hang of it, maiba means different. So when you’re the only one different, you’re the
seeker. If he says di magbago , it means those who don’t change what they did will be the seeker.”
“See, even Mattsun knows!” Iwaizumi said, laughing at Makki’s upset face.

“ Okay, let’s go, Lily! Don’t cheat again Makki! Count to 30!” Mattsun said as everybody stood up
and ran out of the room.

Oikawa went straight to the balcony and hid behind the bush. He didn’t see where the others hid
but his competitive ass didn’t care. All was well for the good 20 seconds until he thought he saw a
cockroach next to his feet and ran for another hiding place. Didn’t even bother to check if it was
really a roach, his fight or flight instinct just worked on its own and said FLIGHT, bitch, FLIGHT.

He ran for the nearest open room and hid inside the closet.

Wow. Very metaphoric.

Makki shouted for the last three seconds and he heard the door to the other room open.

“Hi!”

Oikawa jumped and almost screamed at the sound next to him. Iwaizumi suppressed his laughter at
his reaction, shushing him so they wouldn’t get caught.

“Why the hell are you here? We can’t be in the closet at the same time!” Oikawa whispered
frantically.

Wow, that sounded absolutely ridiculous in my head.

“ I can go out so you can stay in the closet until you feel like it.” Iwaizumi suggested.

“No you can’t come out, it's not safe!”

Am I talking to him or to myself?

“Okay okay, I’ll go when the coast is clear.” Iwaizumi whispered.

Makki’s footsteps grew louder, indicating he was just passing by the room. Both of them tensed
up, no one moving an inch. When Makki’s steps faded away, Oikawa stopped holding his breath
and Iwaizumi prepared himself to go out.

He looked at Oikawa to say something but a small leaf on his hair caught his attention. He laughed
quietly and Oikawa’s brain malfunctioned when he reached his hand out to take it off. He tried to
let it sink in his mind at their state.

Iwa. Crush. Him. Closet. Close. Leaf. Touch. Dark. SO CLOSE. HE’S GETTING SO CLOSE.

Iwaizumi leaned closer and Oikawa squirmed in his place, hugging his knees closer to his chest.

What the hell is he doing?

Iwaizumi leaned back and showed him another leaf to his face, “Did you fall over a bush?”

No, but I might fall over you, so I am begging you to move away.

Oikawa slumped his head down and said, “I hid behind one.”

He heard him laugh again and felt him ruffle his hair. Oikawa felt his face warm up, blushing
furiously at his stupid gestures again.
“I’m coming out now, don’t get caught.” Iwaizumi said before sliding the closet door open and
leaving him behind.

What the fuck just happened? Oikawa rubbed his face furiously and sighed. He doesn’t even know
if he wanted Iwa to stop being so touchy or if he wanted him to do it more.

While he was stuck in that closet, he thought of all the different things that happened since they got
to Batanes. Iwaizumi seemed happier, kept smiling more, wherever he went he wasn’t far to
follow, and he just seemed to… stay close to him all the time.

A wild thought drifted on his mind, changing his entire mood in an instant. A thought he swore to
never think about again. He scolded himself and took a deep breath. A happy crush is enough,
being delusional is just far too much.

Does Iwaizumi like me too?

After about 2 minutes, Lily and Mattsun shouted and a group of laughter followed, meaning they
got caught first. Then Iwaizumi next, and last was him.

They played two more rounds before Auntie Joy walked upstairs and told Lily it was time for them
to sleep because it was getting late.

The last round was the funniest one for everyone because Makki was the seeker again and those
who hid planned to surprise him when they were about to get caught. Resulting in him shouting all
the time as he can be jumpy sometimes.

Lily waved goodnight to everyone and looked at Iwaizumi, “ Bukas ulit Kuya Haj,
pleeeeeaaaase?”

“Sige, basta kakain ka ng gulay pag yun ang ulam.” Iwaizumi patted her head and she slouched
while walking to their bedroom.

Makki laughed and asked, “What did you tell her?”

“That we’d play again if she ate her veggies.”

“Huh, she and Mattsun’s little sister would get along so well.”

Oikawa nodded, “I agree.”

“Goodnight!” Lily tried to say in Japanese before closing the door. Everyone beamed at the
cuteness of her accent, Lily is such a sweetheart.

The three boys then went back to Oikawa’s room. Guess sleeping time doesn’t apply to these
idiots.

Their positions on the bed entirely changed: Oikawa was now in between Mattsun and Iwaizumi,
and Makki was the one laid across at the edge of the bed where Iwa was before. For hours, they
talked about visiting Oikawa in Argentina, plans to go backpacking in Europe, and then the topic
went to what dog breed Iwaizumi wanted to get when he gets his own place.

It felt nice, Oikawa felt warm and secure with these people. He tried his best to keep up with the
conversation, but their voices put him back to sleep. He recalled the closet incident a while ago one
last time in his mind, and he smiled to himself under the pillow before drifting off to his dreams.

The next morning, Iwaizumi woke up early to prepare breakfast for everyone. The sun still wasn’t
up and it hurt his head a little having to sleep late and wake up this early. He tried his best to move
quietly so he wouldn’t wake the three snoring monkeys on the bed but he saw one was already
yawning and stretching.

Oikawa slowly sat up and they looked at each other for a moment. Communicating solely with
their eyes. One half-asleep adjusting to the ceiling light, one fully awake.

Somehow, Oikawa figured he was going to the kitchen and he raised his hand ‘wait’. He yawned
once more before Iwaizumi offered his hand and Oikawa grabbed it to push himself up.

They turned the lights off on their way out so the two could sleep better. Iwaizumi had no idea
why exactly Oikawa went with him but he liked the company anyway.

Oikawa sat down on the barstool and rested his head on the counter while Iwaizumi pulled out
frozen goods from the freezer. Something about the sound of Iwaizumi preparing breakfast soothed
Oikawa’s mind back to a state of rest, but not totally asleep.

Iwaizumi chose to only keep the backlighting by the sink to stay on so his friend wouldn’t hurt his
eyes. Making sure the sound from him chopping the garlic and onions, beating the egg, and turning
the stove on to boil water wasn’t too loud for him. He even prepared hot milo so when his friend
wakes up later, it would just be the right warmth for him to drink up.

The smell of cooking omelet lingered around the kitchen, it was quiet in the house that you could
hear the waves down below crashing to the shore.

He wanted to listen to some tunes but he forgot his phone upstairs. Luckily, there was an old radio
by the counter and he placed it next to the stove, far from sleeping beauty over there. He turned it
on to a low volume on a popular station and it was playing old classic hits.

Ah, right, it’s Sunday.

So as he cooked chicken nuggets and sausages, he sang along quietly to the songs on the radio. The
Carpenters played, Air Supply played, and then the following one… surprised him as he rarely
ever hears it on the radio.

A smile formed on his face and he bit his lower lip to stop himself from laughing out loud.

Oikawa would’ve lost his shit if he woke up to this.

He sang his heart out, still quietly, and turned the stove off when he was done cooking.

Oikawa didn’t know anymore if he was dreaming or if he was really hearing Iwaizumi singing the
lyrics to the song. God, he hears it so much he could probably sing it on his own by now.

His voice sounds so good.

He turned his head to the other side and slightly opened his eyes to see him still making something.
Eyes blinked in confusion, then he started blaming his subconscious mind for taking over his body
when he woke up a while ago.
Iwaizumi turned around to check on him. He brought the sandwich he was making to Oikawa and
the sleepy guy took a bite of it.

Oikawa still wasn’t sure if it was a dream but all he knew was he wanted more sleep. Iwaizumi
was totally amused by this, sleep eating was surely a rare thing to see. Oikawa was just munching
with his eyes closed, head laid still on the counter.

Since he was done preparing meals, he sat next to him and kept feeding Oikawa every time he
stopped chewing. This would’ve been such a great video to show him.

With the song still playing at the back, he grabbed Oikawa’s phone on the counter and recorded
him taking a bite of the sandwich he hovers to his mouth. His snickering could be heard clearly,
amazed by how the pretty boy was able to do this.

When Oikawa finished the whole bread, Iwaizumi patted his head softly and said, “this is my
proof.”

He stopped recording and returned the phone to its place. Oikawa hated bad pictures of him,
especially of him sleeping. So he thought at least he gets the assurance to permanently delete it
himself once he sees it.

When the plates were already set, Auntie Joy came down all dressed up carrying Lily. The skies
were starting to get brighter and the birds already started chirping good morning to everyone.

She gave one last set of orders to Iwaizumi who will be left in charge of the house. They were
leaving to visit relatives on Lily’s father's side.

“Hajime text me when you guys leave, okay?” Auntie Joy reminded him.

“Yes, auntie.”

“I’ll leave you the… the… the ano .”

“ Ano po auntie?”

“I’ll leave the susi here on the holder, don’t forget to bring it with you and lock the pinto .”

So Auntie Joy becomes a bilingual mess when she’s in a rush. Just like his mom, now he missed
his mom. He updates them every now and then though, he even called her yesterday too.

“Yes, auntie.” Iwaizumi responded. “Bye, Lily! Bye, auntie! Drive safe!”

“Tell Tooru I’ll be back at night for that favor he asked for yesterday!” Auntie Joy shouted from
outside.

“ Okay, I will!”

He shrugged and looked at the dining table ready for breakfast, it’s time to wake up dumb and
dumber upstairs.

Oikawa was now completely awake in the kitchen and he noticed the hot choco in front of him.
Still warm when he touched it.

He finally grasped this time that it was truly the reality after coming from the weirdest dream ever.
When he tried to remember it, he swore he could taste in his tongue the sandwich he was eating in
his dream.

Mattsun came downstairs carrying Makki on his back. “Good morning!” Makki exclaimed with
energy and glanced at his phone, clearly reading something from his notes. “ Mga panget.”

“You are such a bad influence letting Lily teach you words like that,” Mattsun said and dropped
the man on the couch.

“Why, what does it mean?” Oikawa asked, bringing his mug to the dining table and sitting down.

“It means-“

“Breakfast time! Get your ass up Hanamaki, the food’s getting cold.” Iwaizumi cut him off and
they all gathered at the table.

After breakfast, Iwaizumi washed the dishes while everyone started preparing their things to bring
on the beach-hopping they planned last night.

Oikawa replaced his roll film with a new one and waited downstairs at the living area when he was
done.

They left at exactly 7 am on the dot and they went to the first beach nearby called Valugan boulder
beach. They passed by a popular church too and it was called Mt. Carmel chapel. Then they
stopped over at a sari-sari store to buy drinks. Went to the next beach, took more pictures, tried
more food, went to the next beach again, took more pictures, and the cycle went on until they
finished all the beaches Iwaizumi could remember.

At the last destination, they parked their bikes at the leveled surface and they ran for the sloping
green hills that go all the way down to the white beach.

Mattsun whipped out a volleyball from his bag which sent the three boys laughing on the ground
because they didn’t expect him to bring a whole fucking ball in his bag.

“What? We’re volleyball athletes so it’s just right that we come prepared,” He reasoned.

“How did you even fit that in your luggage?” Makki asked in between his laugh.

Nonchalantly, Mattsun said, “I hand-carried it all the way here.”

When they finally calmed down, they moved to flatter ground and started playing. Oikawa tossed
to everyone so they got to experience his best tosses from the best setter himself that he claimed to
be.

Thirty minutes into the game, Makki panted a lot and waved his hand ‘timeout’.

“Yo dude, don’t spike too hard! Do you want me to chase the ball all the way down to the beach?”
Makki shouted as he tried to chase it and stop it from rolling further away.

“My bad!” Iwaizumi shouted back but he wasn’t really sorry. Not with them snickering at
themselves at the new role they put Makki as the ball retriever.

Oikawa’s phone buzzed a few times in his bag during the game, no one noticed until they took a
 water break and Iwaizumi pointed at it.

He just shrugged and said, “Just spam text.” Then proceeded to turn off the vibrate mode and
locked his phone.

Japan problems, stay in Japan.

Chapter End Notes

Guess who procrastinated and didn't upload the chapter yesterday? HEHE
I said in the first chapter that I wanted this to end in pure angst but a lot of you begged
not to so I'm giving you what you want. Also, I struggled so much writing this fluffy
chapter because it's hard to come up with happy things when you're so used to
devouring painful content before going to sleep.

I'm on twitter btw! (@kiwi_crumbs) I love interacting but I don't really have any
mutuals and I'm also too shy. Conflicting, yeah?
Keep the comments coming in!
 Curiosity killed the cat
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

In that week-long trip, the fourth day was probably the peak Filipino experience they’ve had.
Iwaizumi made sure they would taste various street foods in the town and try halo-halo for the first
time before they went back to the house after playing volleyball by the open field.

It was yet again, another tiring day for them but it was a good exhaustion. Healing, if you may.

All the boys could think of was their soft beds and the food made by auntie Joy awaiting their
arrival. To be honest, Oikawa was already full from the number of fish balls he inhaled but he still
anticipated Auntie Joy’s cooking.

Aside from tasting lots of Filipino snacks, there was also another reason why the fourth day was
labeled as the peak experience. Because when they arrived in front of the house, it looked like there
was a party going on inside even if the skies were just starting to get dark. Occasional laughter can
be heard from where they stood in the parking lot along with the loud karaoke music blasting in
the background. Someone was singing their hearts out like they were in a competition.

Iwaizumi assumed it was his Uncle’s family from the familiar cars parked around. They walked
upstairs and were met by Auntie Joy, arms full of beer bottles.

“You guys are back!” She beamed, “I texted you Hajime if it’s okay that they come over because
they insisted on seeing you again. I hope you don’t mind!”

“Sorry auntie, my phone battery died, it’s totally fine with me! I missed my second cousins too.”
Iwaizumi said, catching one of the running little kids and messing up his hair.

“There’s dinner inside already so just help yourselves and if you want to rest, I’ll tell these folks to
tone it down a little. I’d really love it if you sang something first though!” Auntie Joy said as she
walked to the table of chattering adults by the porch. Oikawa looked horrified when he pictured
himself singing shamelessly in the living area, he was proud of himself for a lot of things, and
maybe singing was an exception.

Iwaizumi turned to look at his friends, “Come with me for a sec, I’ll just introduce you to them.”

When they walked closer, all of them looked happy, noticing it was their favorite Japanese boy.

“ Hajime! Ikaw na ba yan? ang tangkad mo na!”

“ Kagwapong binata naman ito!”

“Asan ang mommy mo?”

“Parang dati lang kapantay mo lang balikat ko, ngayon mas matangkad ka na sa akin!”

Iwaizumi smiled at them and went to bless each person at the table, answering their series of
questions one by one. The three boys behind him didn’t know if they should follow so they just
stood there and waited quietly.

“ May work po si mama kaya hindi po makauwi ngayon, kasama ko naman po yung friends ko. Ito
po si Tooru, Makki, saka Mattsun.”

When they heard their names being said, they took this as a cue to bow and pay respect.

“Ang tatangkad at ang mestizo naman! Napasyal mo naman sila Hajime?”

“Yes po, tita.”

A man (who they assumed was Lily's father because they kinda resemble each other) then walked
out from inside and came in their direction with open arms. “Haji!” He shouted and embraced the
guy.

“ I’m sorry I couldn’t accommodate you with my darling in your stay here because I have to take
care of my mother back home. I’m Tito Diego, by the way!” He told them and patted Oikawa’s
shoulder.

They bowed again and smiled, feeling at ease with the warm welcome they’d been receiving.
Oikawa couldn’t help but stare at Tito Diego who looked so dashing in such simple clothes,
helping his wife serve everyone some food and drinks. He thought, why is everyone related to
Iwaizumi so damn attractive? I swear this family age like fine wine.

Tito Diego and Iwaizumi continued to catch up at the side just in time that Auntie Joy waved her
hand for the three to come inside and have dinner already. As Oikawa was just about to follow
Makki and Mattsun, something lightly tugged on the hem of his shirt and he looked back to see
what it was. Iwaizumi gestured to wait behind his back as he talked to his relatives and so he
remained there in his shadow.

Something really was different in Iwaizumi this trip and it was driving him insane. He didn’t just
seem happier, he looked free. In that happiness he’s witnessing, he was being flushed into a pit,
uncertain if he was already falling head over heels for him. Deep inside, he felt envious. That
freedom was something he truly desired as well. It’s a luxury he was dying to have.

He stared at the unread messages on his phone while he waited, all from his sister trying to contact
him. Things were okay back home, kinda. Okay, maybe that was a lie. Things aren’t okay back
home, a huge problem awaits Oikawa and he’s scared. So scared his defense mechanism acted up
by completely avoiding it and blocking it out of his mind for the meantime.

All he has ever done was run away. Run far away when it’s too much. Run to Iwaizumi when
nothing seems right. A coward, as he’d like to call himself.

Before it could even get to him, Iwaizumi looked back to check on him and gave a sorry smile
while the old ladies gave him a side hug. His eyes told Oikawa to just wait some more and they’ll
go inside together. Oikawa chuckled and put his phone back in his pocket.

“ Next na uwi mo siguro may dala ka ng girlfriend, Haj.” One of his aunts said.

Iwaizumi laughed and shook his head, “wala po sa isip ko yan.”

“Nako! Ganiyan din ang tito mo noon bago niya ako nakilala.”

“Hayaan mong mag-enjoy si Hajime, pinpressure mo yung bata!” Said one of his uncles before
taking a sip from his glass.

Oikawa couldn’t understand anything but all he heard was the word “girlfriend” and that was
enough to completely throw his mood off. That didn’t even come across his mind the whole time,
that someday he’d have to get a girlfriend and get married. Now that’s a thinker.

That hurt.

He was unsure at that time if he was that deeply in love to be upset if Iwaizumi ends up with
someone else. If his feelings were growing big enough for him to be selfish towards his best friend.
This isn’t what he agreed with himself, it’s just supposed to be a small crush.

A heavy sigh slipped out his mouth in hopes to get this heavy feeling off his chest. Despite having
so much fun, it seemed to greatly contrast his level of thoughts. To him, it felt like it just
progressively got worse. It would be nice to have someone to talk about these problems, but what
do you do when the person you always reach out for is part of the problem?

Aside from him, he was scared Makki or Mattsun wouldn’t understand, or worse, they’d find it
weird. It was times like this that made him feel so lonely even with the number of people that
surrounded him.

“You waited for me!” Iwaizumi said. “Sorry, that took longer than expected.”

He smiled at him and said, “it’s fine.”

When they got inside, Mattsun waved at the kitchen to get their attention. They were eating by the
kitchen island as there was no space left to eat at the dining table so the two boys joined them and
brought their plates to the counter.

Another kid started singing at the karaoke while the teens were sitting in the living room with their
eyes glued to their phones. On the other hand, all four of them just ate in silence, tired from today’s
agenda.

They agreed to rest in their own rooms for tonight so they all can actually rest for real this time
since last night was chaotic. Even Lily got tagged along with their spontaneous ideas of playing
hide and seek.

After dinner, Mattsun got a call from his mom and Makki went straight to his room, legs sore from
chasing balls. Meanwhile, Iwaizumi went back outside to talk more with his relatives. More like he
was called and had no choice to entertain their questions.

Oikawa was just about to go upstairs when auntie Joy called his name. “Tooru, about that favor!”

Ah, that almost slipped off my mind.

FLASHBACK

“Auntie, do you have a moment? I’m just curious about something.”

The woman set her book down carefully at the table. “Sure, what is it about?”

Oikawa paced a little, hesitating if he should sing a line or something. “There’s this song I really
like , it’s in Filipino and I couldn’t really find the title.”
Auntie Joy took a sip from her tea and smiled like she was anticipating this moment. “Let me
guess, Hajime sings this song?”

“Yes!” He answered, quite too fast. Faint voices of his friends shouting his name from outside
reminded him he was in a rush. “Can you please translate it into Japanese auntie?”

“I’ll do it in my free time. Go ahead, your friends are waiting for you!”

Oikawa ran outside the house shouting, “Thanks, auntie! You’re the best!”

E N D OF F L A S H B A C K

Auntie Joy led him down to the basement where her study was. It wasn’t as scary as Oikawa
thought it would be at night because he saw the room during the day. Bookshelves surrounded the
walls, some books stacked up on the floor, an unfinished chess game on the coffee table, and an
antique study table placed in front of a floor-to-ceiling window glass providing a majestic glowing
ocean view.

She opened her drawer and pulled out a piece of paper with her handwriting on it. Oikawa felt a
little nervous, though he wasn’t really sure why. In hindsight, he had a hunch about it.

“Took me quite some time because I was running errands today, but here it is.” She said and
handed him the paper.

With shaking hands, he took it and gave her a smile. “Thanks again, Auntie! You have pretty
penmanship, not as pretty as you though.”

“Ah such a sweet talker, as usual.” She laughed, tidying her desk.

He folded the paper and looked at it, heart racing as he thought of its possible contents. Thank God
auntie Joy didn’t say he could have asked Iwaizumi himself to translate it. She just listened and did
it right away without further questions.

“Auntie, can this please stay between us? Iwa might tease me when he finds out.”

“Of course. You have my word.” She said, eyes looking at him with sincerity.

Now he just had to read it alone in his room. When he walked up the stairs from the basement, he
saw Iwaizumi’s uncles practically forcing him to sing. Oikawa saw him struggling to refuse kindly,
Tito Diego was already pressing numbers on the machine and his other uncle gave him the
microphone.

Iwaizumi’s eyes pleading ‘HELP ME', Oikawa just poked his tongue out and went on his way
upstairs. When he was out of sight, he ran to his room and locked the door behind him.

He was gripping that piece of paper for his dear life. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Do I really want to know?

Whatever, it's just a song. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back so let’s just go
through it.
Instead of actually reading it, he stared at the ceiling for a few seconds. That didn’t feel right with
him that he was hesitating, it’s really just a stupid song he was curious about. Why was he making
such a big deal out of it?

He sat down on the bed and let out a huff before unfolding the paper. This is it. Coincidentally, the
fucking song plays downstairs, earning a facepalm from him. So that’s what they were forcing
Iwaizumi to sing.

Panalangin (Prayer)

My only prayer for all my life

To be beside you, to be with you

That is my prayer

And my heart will never allow

For you to disappear by my side

Hear me, my love

And there is nothing more important

Than the sweetness of our love for each other

And I hope you will listen

When I say I love you.

The paper crumbled in his hands, face warming up as the tears dropped down from his eyes yet his
expression remained cold. Denying his own emotions, denying all his thoughts, denying the
meaning of this song.

This song isn’t for me, right? It’s just his favorite song. No big deal in that. Makki sings the same
songs too. Sure they change depending on the trend, but it’s totally normal.

These tears are totally unnecessary. I’m just being delusional. Too caught up in my own feelings
that I overthink all the little things he’s doing.

Amidst his own thoughts, a familiar voice echoed in his mind, “You stay away from him. Hajime
is too perfect to be ruined.”

And even if he fooled himself by convincing his mind all night that it was not a big deal, he still
laid on his bed crying his heart out. Gripping the sheets close to himself and sobbing quietly into
the pillow.

He tried to keep his whimpers low despite how noisy it was already from downstairs, the wall
separating his room to Makki’s was still thin.

It was the hardest Oikawa has ever cried in all his life. For him it wasn’t just the stupid paper that
made him miserable that night, it was merely the last drop that made his bottled-up emotions
overflow.

Hours passed with him going on a cycle of staring at the ceiling and bawling his eyes out.
Whenever he stopped, he would fall silent and the loneliness would start creeping back in. Then to
make it worse, he started reading the unread messages his sister had left for him in his inbox.

Oikawa Mina

Saw your posts today, third day must be fun!

Oikawa Mina

Mom’s asking me to text you if you’re alright over there! Call me when you see this!

Oikawa Mina

Or not. Call me when you’re ready to talk, you know I’m here for you, right?

Oikawa Mina

No posts yet for the fourth day?

Now he was back to sobbing. He loves his sister, there was nothing wrong between them, he could
reply to her texts but he just hated talking when he knew it’ll only lead to them discussing the issue
in their house.

So as usual, he did what he’s best at and avoided it.

A knock from the door scared him, making him hold his mouth so his uncontrollable hiccups
wouldn’t be heard from outside.

“Yo, you still awake? Makki and I are getting midnight snacks, do you wanna come?” Mattsun
said through the door frame.

After a few seconds of silence, Makki said, “I think he’s dead asleep. Come on.”

As soon as the coast was clear, Oikawa felt the pain physically in his chest as it tightened. He sat
up to relieve it, taking deep breaths to calm down, arms embracing his own body, desperate for
security and assurance. Only for him to break down crying again.

Time passed and he had finally reached a point where he had no thoughts running in his mind. It
was blank. And all he knew was to feel these emotions to get it over with.

He’ll be fine, because tomorrow is a new day, and tomorrow will be another empty bottle for him
to fill up with his true emotions for months.

He’ll wake up, pretend he didn’t know anything, and go about his day. No one has to know. No
one has to know he was up all night denying everything.

Denying his own self, his own identity. Just like how his parents did.
He never felt that something was wrong with him until his own father pointed it out. He was never
enough for his father even before he was confronted by them. As if he knew since he started
noticing his son was gay, that he’ll never be enough.

Tooru had no choice but to strive to be the best in everything. Best captain, best setter, best sibling,
best friend. But he will never be close to even being a good son at least.

How unfortunate could you be to only start embracing your sexuality at 17 and be outed forcefully
by your parents after a few months?

He thought getting a girlfriend would fix him. He was desperate for his parents' validation, he
started thinking he was actually someone to be fixed. He instilled in his mind that there was
something wrong with him indeed and it destroyed his confidence.

All he shows everyone is merely an illusion of his high self-esteem.

The day he was confronted, he felt numb in his seat. He was even lucky his father wasn’t a violent
man, but his piercing words sure did compensate for that. It hurt him. Oh, it hurt him so much.

His mom could have comforted him, could have at least given him a hug, a pat maybe, but she
chose to calm her husband down rather than tend to her traumatized son.

No one was there for him - not even his sister who came home late, regretting that she had fun with
her friends while her baby brother was going through something horrifying.

And for weeks he held it in, until one day he barged in Iwaizumi’s room and cried as much as he
could. No questions asked, just him and his presence enough to make it known that he was there.
That someone was there.

Fortunately for him, his plan to study in Argentina happened before all that incident. And so it was
perfect for him, who’s so good at running away, to just leave his problems and pray time will solve
them on its own.

Oikawa searched for the crumpled paper around him and tossed it in his bag. His hiccups have
gone away by now, throat dry and hurting from his suppressed sobs. He turned to the bedside table
and grabbed the water bottle to hydrate himself. The water rushing down from his mouth to his
chest and to his stomach felt rewarding, it somehow made him feel better.

Because the pillow had blots of tears, he flipped to the dry and colder side to finally get some
sleep. It has gotten quiet too, the karaoke stopped an hour ago but the adults were still talking
outside. No more kids shouting and running around. Just the sound of the wind and the waves
creating the perfect ambiance for him to relax.

Another heavy sigh and he hoped he wouldn’t break down again for the nth time now that he was
on the other side of the cycle he was stuck in.

He checked the time on his phone and it was past 3 am. No more messages except for one sent
earlier at 12am, it was Iwaizumi.

Iwa-chan ;)

You better be sleeping now Shittykawa, goodnight.

 And Oikawa, finally, got the rest he badly needed for the night.

Chapter End Notes

man, this keeps getting tougher. but yes titas, so true, ang popogi po nila.

also, can we get a commotion for DILF Tito Diego???????? Did I add him just to have
a dilf in the story? maybe.
 Calm before the storm
Chapter Notes

I created 5 drafts of this within the week that I was gone, writing is no joke !!! It's so
difficult putting it into words when it plays so well in your head.

Sorry again for another late upload, you did great waiting for an update *pats you on
the head* My sister birthed a child out of her womb while I was away and then I
crashed the car I was driving (ok this was an exaggeration, it was only a bump). So
yeah, I'm sorry again for having you wait for a while.

Anyway, enjoy reading! For this chapter, I recommend a Mitski shuffle to vibe with!
<333

All morning since 6 am, Oikawa stayed in his room pretending to be asleep. His entertainment
consisted of scrolling through social media apps and staring at the ceiling for as long as his sanity
was intact. People in the house woke up late, tired from the party last night and it seemed like the
visitors went home right after they were done because the place was back to its serene state.

The summer sun seeped through the blinds of his room, it was different today than the other days
they stayed. Hotter and blinding.

A few times his friends would come to his door and wake him up, yet still, he remained persistent
in his act. He wasn’t ready. His red and puffy eyes weren’t ready yet despite his effort to wake up
at such an early hour to make a frozen spoon as a remedy.

It did lessen a bit but it wasn’t enough, it wouldn’t be enough for Iwaizumi. He would notice it
immediately and that was the last thing that Oikawa wanted to happen. Apart from that, he hasn’t
even come up with an excuse if he was caught crying all night. Sigh.

How ugly would it be if he were to ruin this trip he so longed for? That’s why his plan that day was
to be in his best condition. There will be plenty of time to face these emotions once he is away.

Sometimes all you need is a good cry and you’re back to bottling up again, it’s a good way to
relieve yourself. Really. Or so he thought.

At 10:35 am, the man of his tears himself knocked on the door, followed by a silly knock of a kid.
Iwaizumi had come to wake him up again for the nth time with his little cousin. Her knocks were
loud and aggressive, yet innocent. Oikawa heard whispers of encouragement from Iwaizumi to go
ahead and call out his name.

“Kuya Tooru!” She shouted in a singsong tone.

Now he argued with himself if he was to finally answer, because honestly, who would dare to
ignore the little darling outside?

They knocked again when he didn’t respond.

“Kuya Tooru!” Lily sang through the door frame.

“Get up, it’s past breakfast time!” Iwaizumi said. “Aren’t you oversleeping?”

Sigh. He checked himself on his phone’s front camera if he was decent enough to go outside. At
last, Oikawa looked better if it weren’t for the hint of redness on his tear ducts. This was okay as
long as he didn’t make much eye contact with anyone.

They knocked again.

“Alright, alright! I’m already up!” He said, scrambling to get out of bed and fix his hair.

As he reached for the doorknob, he took a deep breath and prepared his energy for a long day of
masking. He’ll be fine. He always has.

When he opened it, the door revealed Lily and Iwaizumi in matching pajamas, both grinning wide
at him though he kept his head low in Lily's direction.

“Good morning Lily!” He said, lifting her in his arms. “ What’s with the matching PJs? ”

“Mama did buy this for us, Kuya.”

“You look pretty in your pajamas, have you eaten breakfast already?”

“Not yet, Kuya Haj, and I wait for you.”

And like a ghost, forgotten aside, Iwaizumi appeared next to him and patted her head. Oikawa’s
breathing hitched, body tensed at his presence.

“Didn’t you sleep early last night? Even Makki woke up way ahead of you,“ Iwaizumi asked
softly.

“Just tired,” he said.

“We can stay home for today, have rest as much as you need.”

“It’s fine, we’re bringing Makki and Mattsun to the lighthouse, remember?“

“They can go on their own, I’ll give them directions.”

“What a rude host,” he joked.

Downstairs, their two friends were already eating breakfast. They looked lively for people who
slept past midnight, exchanging conversations with each other. Oikawa placed Lily next to him so
some guy wouldn’t sit beside him.

It smelled of fried smoked fish, cocoa, and mangoes. In the kitchen, he saw Tito Diego cooking
something and Auntie Joy walked to them holding up a glass pitcher of mango juice. There was
also a dark soup with swirls of milk on top, Makki said it was called champurrado . It’s like
chocolate rice porridge.

It was so far the weirdest food they have tried here, but it tasted so good. Never in his life did he
think rice and chocolate would go well together. But here he was taking seconds.
“Watch Kuya Tooru, champurrado tastes the best with powdered milk on top,” Lily said as she
demonstrated how to evenly spread it. She covered the whole surface with powdered milk and took
a spoonful from her plate.

“Why are you only showing it to him? Don’t tell me you’re picking favorites!” Mattsun complained
across from us with Makki nodding in agreement.

“Because I like kuya Tooru!” She said casually while pouring the powdered milk on my bowl for
me. “Can I marry you when I grow up?”

I laughed at her sudden question.

“No,” Iwaizumi answered, too hastily. “Hindi pwede.”

“Why not? Mama said I can only marry someone who I really like someday, I really like Kuya
Tooru!”

Somewhere in the kitchen, her parents laughed out loud. Makki crossed his arms in amusement, an
argument was about to unfold in front of them between the cousins.

“Well, there are different types of like, Lily. If you really like your best friend, would you marry
them too?” Iwaizumi asked.

“Yes,” Lily answered without a second thought before taking another spoonful of champurrado.

“Love, it doesn’t work like that.” He said, wiping off the excess around her lips.

“Huh? Papa really likes mama, they got married. Doesn’t it work that way?”

“Tito Diego loves Auntie Joy,” Iwaizumi started, “Pag kumain ka ng gulay at lumaki ka na,
malalaman mo rin pinagkaiba nila.”

Lily crossed her arms and slumped, sulking at the disappointing explanation she got. “Then Kuya
Tooru will just be my boyfriend .”

“Also, no. ”

“Again?!” She stomped but her feet reached nothing as her legs dangled in the air.

“Lots of people want him to be their boyfriend, Lily. Especially back home.”

“Really?” Lily looked at Oikawa for confirmation, eyes pleading for it to be false. He gave a sorry
smile and nodded.

“Yeah, too bad for you.” Iwaizumi said, sounding a little condescending at the end.

What an interesting morning. Did he just receive a proposal? Lily’s innocent mind is so pure, he
wanted to protect that from reality. Her face when she got so mad at the rejection, it was hilarious.
By the next time we come back here, she’ll probably be too shy to speak with us.

Mattsun tried to further explain what love is to the kid, while Oikawa’s eyes drifted to his now-
empty bowl. Scolding himself a little at how seldom he chimed in the conversation while also
trying to block his thoughts from thinking too much of Iwaizumi’s responses. It had nothing to do
with him, he was just giving her a lesson. Right? It didn’t mean anything else.

Oikawa was done overlooking his friend’s intentions. He was done with his feelings as well, it
would be better if he got rid of this as soon as possible before he hurts himself. Today would even
be nice. Last night’s delusional thoughts were too much for him to handle.

Since there was nothing else to do as they waited for the afternoon to come, Oikawa went back to
his room to be alone. Though not a moment too soon, he figured Iwaizumi could come inside to
talk to him and it would be awkward. Awkward for him alone, it was unfair. Really.

He stepped out again, meeting Makki in the corridor. There was a plate of fruit in his hand but this
didn’t hinder his determination to hug Oikawa. He was random like that. Random acts of platonic
affection were his thing.

They gravitated towards one another, Makki coming in the embrace with arms wide open. The hug
lasted long. Oikawa almost sunk in that warmth.

Bodies moved in sync as they swayed joyously side to side. “What’s up?” Oikawa asked.

“We’re chilling on the balcony,” Makki said. “Lily’s giving more Filipino lessons.”

“What’s your favorite word so far?”

“Kilig .”

“What does it mean?”

“That sudden burst of happiness you feel when you’re in love.”

“How does she even know about that? She’s 5!”

“I don’t know man, we don’t question the master’s teachings.”

They broke away from the hug and walked together to the balcony where Mattsun was lounging on
the hammock. Lily was aggressively swinging him, though he couldn’t be bothered. A man of
thrill, he was.

Out there bathing under the sun, Tito Diego and Auntie Joy looked like they were having a date as
they checked on their plants. On a brighter day, Oikawa was able to appreciate Tito Diego’s
features.

He was built and lean, talked and walked like a gentleman, and he dressed clean, always going for
neutral colors. He matched so well to how bright and colorful Auntie Joy dressed. Always in a
casual dress, natural curls resting nicely just above her shoulders. Their tanned skin shimmered in a
light sweat.

They looked picture perfect. Oikawa imagined that is how Iwaizumi’s family would look like in
the future. He deserved a lovely wife, and they would have an adorable little kid. Just like how his
relatives expected of him.

That’s probably his dream too since he looked up to his Auntie’s family so much.

“Speaking of marriage, who do you think will settle down first?” Makki started.

They sat lazily on the outdoor couch, picking tropical fruits from the plate he brought. Oikawa
fumbled with the toothpick, scared that his friend had adapted a superhearing ability.

“Iwaizumi,” Mattsun and Oikawa said at the same time.

“I don’t know with you too but I’m betting it on Oikawa,” Makki said.

“How come?” said Mattsun.

“Such a ladies’ man, but he’s definitely the hopeless romantic type.”

“Shut up, Makki!” Oikawa shouted.

“I don’t care who’s first, don’t care whoever you wanna marry, go marry a man for all I care, as
long as I’m the best man,” Mattsun said with conviction.

This amused Oikawa, a glint of hope sparked inside him that his friends could understand him
someday. Probably accept him. Matsukawa jokes a lot, but when he says things seriously, he is a
man of sincerity.

“Honestly, same. You got competition here, bud.” Makki said, giving a smug smile.

“Okay, what if you get to be Oikawa’s best man? And when it’s Iwaizumi’s turn, I get to be his
best man.”

“I want to be Iwaizumi’s best man!”

Oikawa pouted. “Wait so no one wants to be my best man?”

Makki and Mattsun stared at each other, arguing in telepathy. Oikawa huffed and sulked in his
seat.

“Fine, I’ll do it,” Makki said.

“Now you sound like you had no choice!” Oikawa whined, making his friends laugh.

Though he was at disadvantage, he felt a little better having this stupid banter. Because it was the
first time they went over that topic and his two closest friends were comfortable with it.

It was as if his cries were heard. For the world to at least give him someone who would listen to
his worries, someone who would accept him and embrace him. Oikawa considered coming out; not
now but someday. When the time is right.

“Speaking of Iwaizumi, where is he?” Mattsun asked. That was unusual, everybody was gathered
here on the balcony except for him.

“Oh he’s on a phone call, seemed important,” Makki said.

Later when Iwaizumi showed up, Oikawa insisted it was his turn at the hammock. Mattsun fought
for his throne but jokes on him, he was forced out of it by the power of friendship between Lily
and Oikawa. He fell on the floor grunting while everybody else was laughing at him. Then he lay
on the couch with his head on Iwaizumi’s lap and feet on Makki’s, accepting defeat.

At some point, Makki fell asleep and the other three fell quiet. Mattsun was staring at the sky, eyes
heavy and drooping. Lily was now watering plants with Tito Diego while Auntie Joy harvested
some tomatoes. Ah, this must be the provincial life.

Somewhere down at the beach, someone was sweeping leaves. The rustling of the broom,
sprinkling noises of the hose, crashing waves, and the clunking of seashells that hung from the
ceiling harmonized into a lullaby that lured Oikawa into an afternoon nap.

For so long, Oikawa thought about what to do when they left to go to the lighthouse. He could
exchange with Makki so he won’t be stuck with you know, but curse him for being the last to take
a shower because now he was the only one they were waiting for.

When he came down, Makki and Mattsun were already ahead by a few meters dragging with them
his sanity, then there’s him leaning on the bike. Oikawa bit his inner cheek and walked up to
Iwaizumi.

“You ready?” He asked, turning the engine on.

Oikawa pulled an empty smile and nodded. Off they went to catch up with the two idiots that left
them behind. Although this time, Oikawa didn’t hold onto Iwaizumi. Instead, he kept his hands
away from him gripping under the seat to hold himself still.

No more of those rides where he kept whining about his hair or how they needed to slow down
whenever Iwaizumi speeds up. No matter how close they were next to each other, there was a huge
distance between them. It’ll be gone soon, Oikawa promised to himself. As soon as he was through
with his stupid crush, they’ll be back to normal again.

At a village nearby the destination, Mattsun pulled up to buy street food. Beside him, poking
fishballs on his barbecue stick, was Makki. From afar, they looked unmistakably twins as Mattsun
had a black cap on, white shirt, and black shorts while Makki wore the same thing with opposite
colors.

Iwaizumi slowed down as they approached them. “You see that tower? Just keep going this way
and turn right at the first dirt road,” he said, using his lips to point directions.

“We’ll be right behind ya,” Makki clicked his tongue.

Oikawa opened his mouth to protest but he was too late, he was already taken away by this
annoyingly handsome man maneuvering the bike. They could at least wait for their friends so they
could all go to the place together, but something about Iwaizumi today seemed impatient.

It doomed to him that he’ll be spending a few minutes alone with Iwaizumi again. The very thing
he wished that wouldn’t happen that day, happened. He loathed that it was a big deal to him. He
spent all of his life with him, showered with him when they were young, gave his favorite
expensive toy to him because he said he wanted one too, and now he couldn’t even bear a minute
of silence with his childhood friend.

Ridiculous. Absolutely, ridiculous.

They parked at the same spot they did a few days ago and when they started walking towards the
entrance, Iwaizumi spoke. “You know, we have this term called pasalubong, it means the food or
things you bring home to your loved ones for when you travel.”

Oikawa hummed in response, listening intently while they walked side by side.

“What will you bring home to your family?”

Oikawa then sighed, will they even be happy he went home?

“I’m not sure, I’ll think about it next time.”

Iwaizumi pushed the door open and waited for Oikawa to come in before closing it behind. On
their way up, he still tried to keep the conversation going. Not satisfied with how Oikawa
answered, his distant replies grew an effect on him.

“Do you update your sister on our whereabouts?”

“Sometimes,” he lied. Do his Instagram posts count as updates?

“She called me this morning.”

Oikawa stopped in his tracks. So that’s what the important call was. He was still, Iwa’s voice
echoed down in the tower. This information irritated him, a hearth that began from last night’s turn
of events, grew a fire building up inside him.

“Then your mom called too, she said she misses you,” Iwaizumi added, standing on the landing at
the end of the spiral staircase.

For the first time, Oikawa looked intentionally at Iwaizumi’s eyes. Both anger and fear reflected in
his own eyes, body tenser than before. He wanted to spill everything and shout and cry and run
away. He almost did, mouth opening then closing for nothing.

Head down low, he walked past Iwaizumi and went outside to the balcony. “Of course she does,”
Oikawa said sarcastically.

“Hey,” Iwaizumi called. “Is this why you’ve been awfully quiet today?”

“How much do you know?“

“Mina-san said you weren’t replying to her messages.”

Oikawa sighed and Iwaizumi observed as his shoulders rose and fell. He was done waiting for
Oikawa to tell him this particular problem when he was ready, realizing he had no intention of ever
saying it to him. It hurt seeing him fade away like this.

With a gentle hand, he took Oikawa’s wrist and pulled him close to embrace him. And there,
Oikawa finally sunk in. Literally and emotionally. Wrapping his arms around Iwaizumi. It was his
most hated place. In the crook of his neck, he found safety, where he was the most vulnerable
person in the world.

“Didn’t I tell you clearly that if you were sad, tell me? And if you’re scared, tell me. Stop hurting
all by yourself when I can be there for you.”

“It’s silly,” Oikawa mumbled through his tears.

“Nothing is silly to me when it concerns you.”

Oikawa cried more and Iwaizumi held him tighter. He hasn’t seen him cry so much like this for a
while, it still felt new to him. One hand soothed his back, while the other pushed Oikawa’s hair
away though he kept his face hidden.

“And you? Are y-you not keeping something to yourself?”

It surprised Iwaizumi but he kept calm at the question, “maybe.”

“Tell me before I tell mine.”

“Listen, Tooru, I don’t think it’s the right time to say it,” he explained carefully.

Iwaizumi’s palms held Oikawa’s shoulders and slowly pulled him away to get a good look at him.
He wanted to tell him he looked pretty crying but it wasn’t the right time to say it.

The back of his hand wiped his tears away and Oikawa continued to sob, helpless at his touch. The
urge for Iwaizumi was strong - the urge to forget about the right time and kiss him there.

And he did. Iwaizumi held him close and gently placed his soft lips on Oikawa’s forehead.
Hopefully, this would at least ease his mind.

First, he was scared of how he would react. Then he felt relieved when he continued crying. Then
he felt worried that he was still crying.

It meant something. There’s no way to deny it anymore. I’ve ruined him.

“I’m sorry,” Oikawa cried.

I ruined him. Just like they said. I ruined our friendship.

“I’m sorry,” he cried more. “I can’t put you through the same situation. You have everything to
lose, and I have none of that anymore.”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean, Tooru.”

“This… this is a mistake. You don’t like me,” Oikawa said or rather begged. “Please tell me you
don’t.”

Iwaizumi ignored this and asked, “Do you?”

“I do.”

“Then we’ll be fine.”

“We won’t,” Oikawa whispered. “You won’t. They’ll say mean things you won’t forget. A-and it
hurts! It hurts so much! The disappointment- god the disappointment in their eyes.” He was aware
he was vomiting words, panic settling in, and halfway through his rant, he looked up to Iwaizumi.
“You can still turn back, it’s not too late for you!”

Iwaizumi reached for him but Oikawa turned away, “I need some time alone… I’m sorry.”

Just in time, Makki stepped out from inside when Oikawa ran past him going for the stairs. He met
Mattsun halfway and dragged him along to the parking lot where their bikes were parked.

“Mattsun please drive me back home, please, please!” He pleaded through his sobs.

Mattsun, worried sick, didn’t have to think twice and jumped on the bike with him. It was
frightening to see his captain cry. Sure he cried a few times when they lost their final game, but this
was different. It wasn’t him losing to a silly game. It was him losing himself.

Throughout the way back, he kept crying and apologizing. A few times Mattsun asked for what,
but he just shook his head no and cried more. When they arrived, Oikawa promised he’ll be fine
and wished for him to go back to the lighthouse but it didn’t feel right to leave his friend alone. No
one could come close to him, he just went straight to his room and locked himself in.

Later, Mattsun got a call from Makki. Both of them didn't have a clue what was going on. Makki
said Iwaizumi refused to talk about it and said to give Tooru some space since he had a lot going
on apparently.

That night, no one got a hold of Oikawa. Not even Lily’s calls could make him eat dinner.
Thankfully, no one forced him out too. Everyone was respectful of his state and Oikawa was
grateful for that.

No one was shouting at him to talk to them. No one was banging at the door calling him emotional
and overreacting. No one was picking the lock and saying they wouldn’t eat if he didn’t. He was
safe there and it made him sad that he had to go home.

Sometime before 11 pm, Iwaizumi texted Oikawa to at least get the glass of water waiting for him
outside his door. He promised no one would see him and said things will be better tomorrow.

After that, Iwaizumi didn’t get much sleep either like the rest of the people in the house worried
for Oikawa. His mind replayed the memories of today, trying to connect the dots. He wished he
would have known sooner of this problem, he wished he would have said better things. He wanted
his confession to be special, but at that moment, he saw a boy that needed to be loved. And no one
else could bring that love Oikawa needed as he did.

They should be happy. After years of pining for each other, countless failed confessions, and
special treatment hidden behind dumb excuses, they finally learned of each other’s feelings.

Why couldn’t they be happy?

The next morning, Iwaizumi was glad the glass was out of sight along with the sour tapes he left
on the floor for a snack. He could have left oatmeal bars so it would at least be healthy knowing he
didn’t eat dinner, but sour tapes were his favorite so he went for that choice.

The only thing unusual that had his heart racing was seeing the door ajar. He knocked twice and it
moved to reveal an empty room, bags gone, desk clean, as if it was left untouched.

Oikawa ran away, like what he does best.

 Restart
Chapter Notes

remember that spotify playlist i promised? yeah yeah i finally made it :D

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4dgP6KJu2Ww1hVPBEooNzx?
si=dQIj42EBRJiOCx8lSRJHCA

shares and comments are highly super mega very much appreciated <333

This was it. A true moment of loneliness for Oikawa. Away from everyone, away from what he
claimed “home.” As he sat on his window seat, looking outside the plane’s window, he pondered
on the things that happened the past few hours, days, weeks, and months. Why must so much occur
all at once? He just turned 18 and the universe dropped all bombs on him. Was he being
overdramatic? He doesn’t know. Maybe his father’s words were getting to him again.

Japan glowed beneath him, it was the last glimpse he’ll ever see of his homeland. There was a lot
of contemplation on his recent actions, but he guessed it was best for everyone. It was kind of
selfish, he knew. But it was better this way.

Sigh. He finally did it. He really ruined it. Not just his friendship with Iwaizumi, but with his two
other best friends too. They were probably upset at him for leaving them behind without an
explanation. Not even a single word. Guilt crept over his body, then came regrets.

At least they had one last bittersweet hurrah.

Each mile he flew away from them, the memories of that trip fuzzed in his mind, like a photo
fading, losing its colors. He recalled the time he woke up way past midnight, knocking on Auntie
Joy and Tito Diego’s door, asking them to drive him to the airport because he needed to go back to
Japan due to a “family emergency”. He got his last-minute tickets with the help of his older sister,
who was both confused and happy why she received a call all of a sudden from her brother.

Through the phone, he sounded cold, empty - asking Mina to book the tickets immediately. They
were fast to respond to his needs and he was grateful for them. When asked if he wanted to say
goodbye first to his friends or to Lily, he said he already left them a note and didn’t want to disturb
their sleep.

The first reason was, of course, a lie.

Tito Diego drove the car with Auntie Joy right by his side. At the back, Oikawa was shaking. Both
from the cold and from repressing the urge to cry again. Tito Diego looked at him in the rearview
mirror in concern and nudged his wife. That was Auntie Joy’s cue to say something.

“I made you some hot milo before we left and packed you some snacks,” she said, handing him a
thermos bottle and a paper bag with sandwiches inside.

He remembered saying, “Thank you so much, Auntie.”

The bottle kept him warm, it was extremely dark outside if it weren’t for the headlights and the
distant street lights on the road. Fingers lingered on his forehead, as the ghost of the lips of his
friend remained fresh on his flesh. Sigh.

He should have been happy. He should have blushed and hid his face in his palms. What he
thought was one-sided, was reciprocated all along. And yet there he was, dazed and face painted in
melancholy as if it was the worst news he has ever heard.

“Try to take deep breaths instead of sighing, Tooru. Your body gets into a better state when oxygen
flows properly,” Auntie Joy suggested. “It helps to clear your mind too, you know.”

“Yes, Auntie.”

The ride was as quiet as the landscape outside. It was almost 4 am, he thought. At the airport,
before he went in, Auntie Joy fixed his hoodie and embraced him, “Whenever things get too much
for you, know that you can always come back here even on your own.”

Oikawa nodded and hugged her back.

Next thing he knew he was in Manila. Then he was in Tokyo. Then he was ringing the doorbell in
his house. His mother came to greet him asking why was he there 2 days early but he only bowed
and went straight to his room.

In those 2 days that he was left before he flies to Argentina, Oikawa did three things. First, he
rushed packing everything remaining in his room that was important to him. Pictures of his
memorable adventures, mostly with Iwaizumi, were torn down from his wall.

Kept in a special box, sitting on his bedside table. There was no time for him to pause and
reminisce about each and every photo, but they were carefully placed in the box like the most
prized possession he has.

No way he was leaving it here, he planned to bring it all with him so he wouldn’t feel homesick.
Though he never really wished to go back anymore. People can miss things, and not want them
back, he thought.

Second, he had his film developed at a nearby studio. Supposedly, that day was the last day in the
Philippines. In Batanes where he should have been relaxing, probably playing hide and seek with
Lily. He felt sad, suddenly, about how they never get to play it again when they promised her they
would the next time.

That day, he strolled in his town on his bike. He passed by his favorite bus stop, the convenience
store they would always go to after class, the playground they would infiltrate after practice, and
let himself be sentimental for once.

Never did he imagine he would reach this certain number of missed calls and unread messages, but
it wasn’t exaggerated to the point it went over a hundred. It was close somehow.

He hung out with his sister when he got home, though her questions were never answered. Instead,
she refrained from going through topics she knew he would ignore so he wouldn’t leave her room.
There he at least felt a little safe. He was able to get a decent amount of rest while they watched
Mina’s favorite series on her TV.

Third, Tooru dragged himself to the family dinner his older sister was talking about on her text
message a few days back. He dreaded it. After being told not to hang out around too much with
Iwaizumi before they drop him off at the airport when they were just about to go to the
Philippines, he never wanted to interact with them that much.

His father's words were exactly like he recalled, “Don’t do anything to embarrass us to the
Iwaizumi family, understood?”

“Your father rather meant… for you to behave Tooru. But you know that already, our baby boy is a
responsible man after all,” said his mom.

“It’s better if you stay away from him, Hajime is too perfect to be ruined .”

“Honey,” his mom gritted through her teeth. There was no watering down those words. Tooru
heard it as clear as day and he knew what it meant.

He was angry, annoyed, and scared all at once. Why were they bringing Iwaizumi into this? Tooru
knew he wasn’t even doing anything wrong.

Now he was a hundred percent sure, that night’s conversation would be similar to that one.
Probably an hour-long way of saying “don’t be gay”, “make us proud,” and “stay alive.”

At the restaurant, they had their own private room to dine in. Their family wasn’t the kind to eat
out all the time at fancy restaurants, they were only reserved for special occasions like his
departure. That was why Tooru and Mina were in their best outfit too, two attractive siblings
walking in the place like famous people. Heads turned their way as the staff lead their way to their
room where their parents await.

They sat on the tatami chairs on the floor and the long night began.

Their father was silent during dinner. It was just their mother alone who always initiated the
conversation, asking him how was the Philippines, did they enjoy it, and where did they stay.
Tooru kept his answers short and straightforward.

Then he was asked about his plans once he reached Argentina, the usual reminders were given to
him, and sometimes his sister would chime in the conversation to keep it lively. Tooru thought he
was safe. Until his mother asked again why he went back 2 days early without his friends.

“I had to get some things done,” he lied. “Just making sure I won’t forget anything before I leave.”

“Ah, I see. That’s good for you that you have your priority set straight,” she said, placing a piece of
meat on his plate. He was already full. “How are your friends doing by the way? What are
Hajime’s plans?”

“Makki and Mattsun are unsure yet but they said they want to take part-time jobs, Iwa- Hajime will
be going to a university. He mentioned he wanted to major in sports science.”

“Oh right, his mother mentioned it last time we met at the grocery store!” She exclaimed
cheerfully.

“You should have picked a major as well,” his father suddenly commented. It was more
uncomfortable than it already was.

“Tooru’s already too exceptional for that. His talent can’t go to waste just by sitting in a classroom
all the time. Let him make his own decisions,” Mina defended beside him. He wished she was
there too on that day… but it couldn’t be helped.
“Plus, this opportunity to be trained by a veteran international player he so idolized is extremely
rare! You don’t know a lot of people in the same situation as he does,” his mom added.

Tooru’s dad didn’t say anything for a moment. The atmosphere was tense like he was holding back
his words. When dessert came, he started speaking again.

“Just don’t do anything preposterous. We are aware you will be alone in a different country far
away from us, don’t be too blinded by the freedom you’ll be having. Know the responsibility that
you carry.”

Tooru nodded. This must be the “don’t be gay” speech.

“If we hear anything ridiculous, we will be sending you home within the same day. Understood?”

He nodded again, fiddling with the coffee jelly on his plate. Usually, Tooru would respond with a
good comeback, something light and playful, with a hint of sarcasm that only Iwaizumi can tell
whether it was genuine or not. But he couldn’t bring himself to even fully acknowledge their
presence.

His dad kept going on and on, Tooru actually managed to block out the noise coming out of his
mouth as he stared at his plate. And if things couldn’t get worse, his mom brought up his ex-
girlfriend in the conversation and asked about her well-being. Maybe in hopes that something
would re-ignite between them.

But that was… a weird phase for Tooru. His affection couldn’t move past the platonic line,
nevertheless, the girl was genuinely nice and sweet. Fortunately, she took the initiative to end it as
he preoccupied himself with volleyball as well.

“I think she has a new boyfriend now mom, and they look good together too!” Mina answered for
him, disappointment washing his mom’s smile away.

Tooru forgot what she replied to that, he couldn’t care any less. Sigh. He wanted to get out of there
already. He thought of the green grass in Batanes, the ocean view at Auntie Joy’s office, the
ceiling at his guest room, Hajime’s lips on his forehead.

Before he knew it, his mom was asking for the bill and it was time to go home. Since Mina got her
own car, Tooru went with her like how they arrived at the restaurant. They didn’t go home, they
drove around the town in silence. Windows rolled down with Tooru’s face slumped at the side so
the wind kept hitting his face.

He remembered crying. It was getting lonelier each day. He hated to admit it but he just wanted his
parents’ love and validation, it was something he used to get abundantly when he was young.
Where did all that go?

He was losing himself looking for it, working hard to earn it. Was he not worthy anymore of it?

Mina parked the car by the convenience store and turned to him to soothe his back. Tooru gave in
and leaned onto her. He hated that he was upset with her for a long time for being absent the day he
was confronted. He knew it wasn’t her fault.

“I’ve been wanting to say this,” Mina mumbled. “I really wished I knew it from you directly when
you were ready to come out and not by a text from mom.”
She shuffled in her seat to give him a hug. This was different from the hugs Tooru has been
receiving lately. It was protective like he was being sheltered from a heavy storm. Sobs left his lips
as his emotions overwhelmed him.

“I’m sorry,” Tooru recalled her saying. He could hear her sniffling, telling him she was crying too.
“I’m right here now, and I’ll always be on your side. I will listen to you like I always do, you know
that right? Please don’t carry all your burden on your own.”

“Can I give them all to you instead?” he managed to joke and Mina hit him lightly.

“Call me as often as you’d like,” she said.

“I will.”

“And go bag some medals for me so I can have bragging rights as your sister.”

“Okay.”

“Forget about mom and dad’s reminders. Go have fun and enjoy your life on the other side of the
world while you achieve your dream. They don’t have connections in Argentina anyway.”

“I’ll try.”

Tooru calmed down a little while after that and the two siblings ended up buying some snacks at
the store and staying up late in Mina’s car talking about Tooru’s summer getaway with his friends.
Leaving out some important parts, of course, that were meant to stay only between him and another
certain person.

Mina talked about her promotion and a potential boyfriend she might have soon. Afterward, it was
all family gossip between the two.

It was only less than a week at that time, but Tooru missed his sister. Because after months of
avoiding his family, staying out late in practices, hanging out at other people’s houses, he finally
reconciled with her.

Mina was the first one he messaged when the flight was about to take off.

Tooru took one last glance at Tokyo before he shut the window down and rested his head back at
the seat. It was the perfect time for him to sleep but something bothered him like things didn’t feel
right. This wasn’t how he wanted it to end.

For the first few hours of the flight, he kept shuffling in his seat. So much that the old lady next to
him was probably annoyed but she should be thankful he doesn't need bathroom breaks that much.

Tooru was so conflicted. He was restless yet couldn’t sleep. He tried watching movies and playing
games on the screen in front of him but it wasn’t much entertainment for him.

When he ran out of things to do, he thought of clearing up space on his phone instead and that led
him to look through his gallery. Checking photos and videos one by one from the top.

Though he couldn’t bring himself to delete anything. Even stupid blurry pictures from laughing so
hard meant something to him. Or that 2 seconds clip of Hanamaki screaming when they tried to
turn the lights off on him in the locker room.
He kept swiping and swiping until he finally got to those photos he took of Batanes. One time he
even caught that sweet smile he seldom daydreamed about.

In hindsight, he had an idea that it would be the last time for them to do anything together. All four
of them and just the two of them. Still, he was hurt and surprised.

How come I am the one not ready to let them go when I ran away from them in the first place?

He swiped left again and an unfamiliar video showed up, it was a little dark and Tooru doesn’t
remember taking it. With little patience, he pressed play and adjusted his earphones to watch it.

Whether it was a curse or blessing, Tooru heard again that tune he loathed. Sung by none other
than Iwaizumi while he slept on the kitchen counter. It was faint but he could hear it playing at the
back too from a radio. A sandwich was being hovered to his mouth that he took a bite of while
half-asleep.

Iwaizumi laughed quietly, endearingly. The type that would make Tooru blush and scream
internally.

So that wasn’t a dream, huh. He really did taste that peanut butter sandwich. He remembered going
down in the kitchen but it was hazy and surreal.

Tooru watched himself take another bite and munch on it with his eyes closed, each bite earned a
snicker from Iwaizumi who was clearly amused at the sight.

As soon as he was finished, Iwaizumi’s hand patted his hair and the words “This is my proof” left
his lips like a rich melody to his beating heart.

The clip ended. His heart was racing as mixed emotions flashed in his face. He hated that he was
filmed asleep, everybody knows not to take photos of him when he’s having his beauty rest. But
there particularly, he looked peaceful and pretty, like the pretty boy he is.

Iwaizumi is really bad at cameras, it was not really his forte. But Tooru had to admit, it turned out
great. Special.

The video was on repeat, he obsessed a little about it. Engraving every single detail in his mind so
he wouldn’t forget. At last, Tooru was able to fully grasp the fact that his feelings were returned all
this time. It was real.

Iwaizumi likes me.

The subtle things he did to him, really meant something. All the times Iwaizumi held his hand
carefully, all the head pats, and the way he caressed his face gently like a child trying to keep a
bubble close. These times helped Tooru learn that Iwaizumi’s love language was physical touch.

Yet this puppy love was bound to end, some silly childhood crush phase that was integral for their
growth. Tooru only wished he had said goodbye to his feelings and not to his best friend.

Somewhere in his bag, the crumpled lyric remained untouched. Never did he once read it again, for
each and every word was etched into his mind. Why wouldn’t it be when he has heard those words
in his native tongue all his goddamn life.

Tooru finally heard him, but out of all the responses he could do, he chose not to listen.

Oftentimes, Tooru would wonder why he had the spotlight in high school, why all the girls flocked
to him, when the perfect man was by his side all along.

Sure he looks angry all the time, but maybe we can rephrase that by saying he just looked hot and
intimidating for everyone. Behind that facade is just a playful boy who is head over heels for his
pretty best friend.

One could say he is whipped.

Slowly, Tooru started wishing and regretting. They could have had a better confession, one that
wasn’t too vague. If only things didn’t turn out that way. If only Tooru gave a little credit to
himself and didn’t think he was too good for him.

His wishes grew more selfish. Something Iwaizumi wished Tooru did earlier. For all he ever
thought was how it would be for Iwaizumi. How people would say he ruined him and his perfect
life, tainted by his own desire.

Tooru couldn’t imagine the same disappointed look he saw on his parents’ faces being displayed
on Iwaizumi’s lovely parents. His Filipino relatives would not probably give the same warm
welcome to him anymore if they found out.

Iwaizumi was physically strong, but Tooru wasn’t sure if he could emotionally handle the same
pain he was going through if people found out Iwaizumi liked him.

No matter where he went, it just wouldn’t be acceptable in this world. Maybe someday in the
future, a huge change will happen. Maybe there, loving him wouldn’t be so peculiar.

It wouldn’t be so bad if Iwaizumi had a change of heart too, at least Tooru would be complacent
that he’d have that perfect happy life.

This was his chance to restart too. He needed to learn to be on his own. To independently reach for
his dreams. Love will come around, but for now fuck having crushes.
 Beer, Gummies, and Toto
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

9 YEARS LATER

Love did not come around for athletic trainer Iwaizumi Hajime (27). It was dry and boring for the
next decade of his life for sure, not when his ultimate crush left and cut him off of his life. Did
Iwaizumi get mad for what Tooru did? No. He could never be seriously mad at Oikawa Tooru, his
first crush. First gay awakening. First kiss - sadly, only on the forehead.

Did he sulk though? Yes. A lot at that.

Sulk is such a silly word. Yet it has much more weight and depth in the Filipino word “ tampo ”.
You see, Tampo is lighter than anger, it’s like you're angry but not really really angry. This is
usually paired with another word to ease this sulkiness, and this is “ suyuin” which means “to
woo”. A word so intimate, sometimes playful. Like fire melting ice.

A lot of people, like Hajime himself, like to sulk just to be wooed. A tsundere , if you may.

So as soon as Hajime realized Tooru left, all he ever was for the last 9 years was the human
embodiment of the word tampo .

Sadness came in first, of course. When he informed his friends about Tooru having to go back
home immediately, the pain was evident in his voice. Lily was sad when she found out, she cried a
lot too when they went back to Japan once they had completed their one-week vacation.

This sulkiness drove him to have a better plan for his future. His passion extended past his love for
Tooru that it reached his ambitions in life. Back then, all he had in mind was growing up with
Tooru. Whatever career was good enough for him as long as he was able to keep them living
comfortably.

Then after his first heartbreak, he was forced to be independent and make decisions for himself. No
more asking of Tooru’s opinion on things he wanted to do. He’s by himself now and that is such a
significant moment in both of their lives. Their names are not to cling to one another forever as they
are individual people who can reach high on their own.

Iwaizumi thinks - maybe their names can cling to one another in another way. Romantically. He’s
talking wedding bells, by the beach, and there’s a dessert bar- anyway.

After coming back to Japan and hanging around in Seijoh’s gym to assist his juniors when he’s got
nothing to do, the thought of being an athletic trainer crossed his mind. It led to him researching
about this career one night in his bedroom when he couldn’t sleep. Lucky for him, this career was
aligned to the initial major he already decided to take which was sports science. His parents helped
him decide since he didn’t know what to take back then, but there was no pressure in their pieces of
advice.

Iwaizumi grew interested as he learned more about it and even found out that this well-known ace
from another team who kept bugging Oikawa to attend their school before, has a father that’s a
great athletic trainer.
Someday, he swore, to meet him and learn from him too. Around the second year of his college
life, he did. Iwaizumi even got the chance to intern with him when he visited California.

That well-known ace goes by the name Ushijima Wakatoshi, Iwaizumi lowkey considered him as a
rival. A friendly rival, nothing serious. He just annoyed Oikawa so much into joining their school
so they’d be an unstoppable duo, it was ridiculous. Iwaizumi and Oikawa were already unstoppable
in court, couldn’t he see that! There are only two people that Oikawa despised so much, and
Ushijima was one of them.

When they met again at his internship, they had a good chat about mutual friends and even took
pictures. Iwaizumi was very much tempted to send it to Oikawa to annoy him but that would be
awkward so it just remained in his phone gallery collecting dust in hopes that someday he would be
able to show it to him.

So far he did not have any regrets about the path he has chosen. He knew very well too, that he
would end up at this moment, standing by the bench, heart beating loud, staring through the net as
the Argentinian league players entered from the other side of the court. The cheers grew even
louder than his heartbeat and cameras flashed in every direction.

This is the glory of the 2021 Tokyo Olympics.

There he was. Waving his hand at the crowd. Lots of people were chanting his name. He looked
dashing as ever, Iwaizumi couldn’t help but stare. Did he get taller? Oh, he definitely cut his hair
short. It’s weird seeing him again in person. I see him in pictures sometimes but damn, it’s still
unbelievable to see how much he has grown.

No, Iwaizumi did not see him sometimes. Rather he saw him every day as he made it part of his
nightly routine to check for Instagram updates. There were times he even considered making a fan
account so he can drop comments on every post, don’t tell anyone that.

Almost everyone in the Japan National team was staring at Iwaizumi, waiting for a comment about
having to see his best friend again after such a long time. Since these people were friends they met
from high school tournaments, they knew of the inseparable duo. Maybe they shouldn’t be called
inseparable anymore because of the contradicting story.

He only noticed when Hinata Shoyo, their tangerine-haired bubbly player, nudged him and he saw
their eyes hopeful for a statement from him.

Even if he wanted to say something, he was speechless. Proud was an understatement. They both
finally reached their dreams. The blue jersey with number 13 on it could honestly make him tear
up if he had a chance to take a closer look.

Iwaizumi huffed a smile and ignored everyone. Deep inside, speaking to him instead of speaking of
him was his top priority that day. He long awaited this day, he couldn’t help but feel nervous.

Will he talk to me? Should I speak casually like we used to? I am 100% sure I am going to stutter.

The host started speaking to commence the starting ceremony and the audience settled down.
Everyone was thrilled and in their best mood, it was a big event for players here that started only
back then as a club member.
For now, Iwaizumi set his head off from other things and focused on the game. He had to be
prepared and respond immediately in case a member of the team got injured.

Despite this “focus” he was trying to tell himself, his own eyes practically ogling at the other
team’s setter told otherwise that he was definitely distracted on his job. How come his hair looks
softer?

One thing Iwaizumi anticipated the most was the demonic serve his best friend was known for.
After watching countless compilation videos on Youtube (and leaving a like on every single one of
them), Iwaizumi couldn’t wait to feel the surroundings hold back their breath. Number 13 held the
ball in one hand as he went to his spot and prepared a strategy in his mind. Analyzing the court, the
opposite team, in a matter of seconds. A cocky smirk was flashed at Kageyama Tobio who set his
guard high up in case he was to receive the ball.

Kageyama was that one other person he despised so much aside from Wakatoshi Ushijima. That
one, he considered his true rival.

The whistle blew and Iwaizumi watched him take a flight before the ball made an impact with his
palm, sending the ball flying to the other side at godspeed. The sound boomed in the arena. There
was so much power and control in it, years of training and hard work have unfolded in the eyes of
everyone. It was an exhilarating experience being there.

After hours of gameplay, the Japan national team claimed victory. Some were crying, some were
throwing someone in the air, some were hugging everyone. Iwaizumi laughed at the sight.
Thankfully no one was severely injured, although Bokuto Kotaro, an opposite hitter, did get leg
cramps at the 3rd set which is why his husband came running to him as soon as the game was over
to check on him when different people scattered in the court.

Iwaizumi was busy congratulating players left and right until he met with Hinata again somewhere
in the middle. They hugged and Iwaizumi gave him a few heavy pats at the back.

“Congratulations Shoyo! You were amazing there!” He exclaimed.

“You think so?! Thank you so much Iwaizumi-san!” Hinata said cheerfully, his face red from
excitement. They broke apart and Hinata went behind him to push him forward. “Come on! Let’s
go and say hi to the grand king!”

Panic rushed through Iwaizumi’s body from head to toe. Hinata grew pretty close with Oikawa
when they met in Brazil a few years back and played a few games of beach volleyball so he was
excited to see him again too.

“I think he’s still busy doing interviews, maybe later yeah?” Iwaizumi suggested, trying to walk
back.

But Hinata pushed harder, “No, no! Look! He’s also walking towards us!”

He’s walking towards us?! Putangina. Okay okay, what do I say? Do I wait for him to say
something? Do I say congrats? NO, he didn’t win.

Wait.

Does Hinata… know? About them?

“Shoyo, come here for a sec! Someone’s looking for you!” Bokuto shouted behind them, Hinata
dropped his hands and ran back to the crowd at Japan’s side.

“Oh okay! BRB Iwaizumi-san!” Hinata said before disappearing in an instant. “Say hi to him for
me!!! But I’ll be back!”

There was no protesting, Shoyo was gone immediately. It honestly felt like a setup, he bet it was a
setup. When his heartbeat wouldn’t calm down, he stopped walking and faced him. The pretty boy
trudged closer and closer, a small smile on his face and a little bit of longing in their eyes.

With each step he took, Iwaizumi scrambled with the first thing he was going to say. There was a
short circuit on his mind and before he knew it, Oikawa Tooru was standing in front of him. He did
get taller.

“You’re home!” Iwaizumi uttered.

“I am,” Oikawa said, sounding more like a question at the end. Something about his exposed
forehead added 10 years to Iwaizumi’s life.

“You’re still frightening at matches,” he commented. Attempting to make a joke. Testing the
waters if Oikawa still considered him as a close friend maybe.

“Of course, it’s a talent, Iwa-chan.” Iwa-chan.

“Huh, s-still as cocky as ever I see.” Oh my god, I am a stuttering mess.

“ And you’re still as rude as you are,” Tooru said with a bigger smile this time. Iwaizumi felt at
ease, exhaling the tension on his shoulders. Okay, this was Iwaizumi’s chance and he definitely
had no plans of letting this one go.

“Come on, give me a break.” He laughed. “Why don’t you treat me to that dinner you promised
back then and find out if I’m still as rude as you think?”

Tooru tilted his head to the side, recalling that promise and sending Iwaizumi to panic madness
again. Maybe he forgot? It took him a few seconds to understand what Iwaizumi was referring to.
“Ah, right. Why not? You free tonight?”

“I could ditch the party after this,” he said immediately. He felt kinda embarrassed and blushed
furiously, could he be any more eager?

“Then, I’ll see you at 7 pm.”

“7 pm it is.”

The reporters called for Oikawa’s name from Argentina’s side of the crowd. The world was
waiting for him, for the grand king to make a statement.

Tooru awkwardly patted Iwaizumi’s arm and said as he left, “I’ll text you Iwa-chan. See you
later!”

“See ya!” He shouted, his voice fading as it got noisier around.

Iwaizumi clenched his fists and opened them wide to release more tension. Wow, it really was
Oikawa Tooru. At last, his heart calmed down. Finally.

I wanted to say so many things to you.

”Tooru, I’ve waited for you.”

“You’re finally here in front of me.”

“Why did you leave so suddenly?“

“Lily still mentions you to me.”

It’s okay. I’ll make sure this time, we’ll have all the time to say all the things we want to say to
each other. We’ll have forever on the palm of our hands.

Hinata Shoyo. That liar. Never returned! Iwaizumi was not sure if he was gonna be mad or
thankful to him but since things went well, he decided he’ll be thankful.

He was also unsure if the closing ceremony really took forever to finish or he was only being
impatient. His mind was already thinking of what to wear and what to bring. Things he would tell
him if ever they ended up catching up on each other’s lives.

“Close that damn mouth, your smile could blind people’s eyes!” Kuroo Tetsuro complained.
Kuroo, also a friend from their high school years, worked under the Japan Volleyball Association
Sports Promotion Division. He was the captain of Nekoma during their time.

“Get glasses then ‘cause I’m about to smile a lot more after this,” he replied confidently.

“I’m assuming you two have met.”

“Mhmm,” he hummed. “We’re having dinner together.”

Kuroo gasped dramatically. “You’re ditching our victory, our country - Japan - for love?”

“I’m pretty sure Atsumu is already planning an afterparty, I’ll bring him there with me.”

“You traitor!” Kuroo adjusted his tie and shook his head.

Iwaizumi hit him with the clipboard he was holding, this idiot always had something to say.
Anyway, he was doing a final check on papers to submit before he could leave. Kuroo bid him
goodbye as he claimed he was already getting hungry and wanted to join that celebratory dinner at
the hotel’s buffet.

As soon as he was done, he zoomed out of that place back to the hotel their team was staying at. It
was across the Argentina team’s hotel which was pretty convenient if he could say. How did he
know? From Oikawa’s Instagram posts of course… and a little info from Kuroo too.

If Makki found out about this, he’d be teased to death and be called a stalker for sure.

Back at the hotel room, Iwaizumi took a quick shower and changed into casual clothes. Every
minute he checked his apple watch to check the time, nearly growing an obsession. He has waited
for him for almost a decade and yet 20 minutes to 7 pm felt like forever.

Like a hamster on the loose, he paced around the room and repeatedly checked himself on the
mirror. Does he look okay? A lot about his appearance changed too. Iwaizumi got taller, voice
deeper, and body more built from work.
Somewhere in his heart, he quietly wished Oikawa still liked him too. Though he knew it would be
possible that he was completely through with him or he has found someone else. That was
something Iwaizumi was not prepared to hear so the only thing he could do now is to pray that
wasn’t the case.

At last! It was 6:55 pm. Iwaizumi grabbed his jacket and went down to the lobby. He was greeted
by Bokuto, Hinata, and Sakusa Kiyoomi holding hands with Miya Atsumu when the elevator
opened.

“Hajime-san, where were you all this time?” Atsumu asked while they walked inside the lift.

“Yeah! Some people were looking for you during picture taking!” Bokuto said.

“Sshh guys! He’s going on a date,” Hinata whispered loudly, teasing the man dressed so nicely for
someone.

“It’s not a date,” Iwaizumi replied to which the four of them laughed at.

“Good luck on your date then Iwaizumi-san!” Atsumu asked before pressing the close button with
his hand that was interlocked with Sakusa’s.

Sakusa did a small bow and a wave while the others made smooching noises to tease him more,
leaving a tomato red Iwaizumi standing lost and bewildered right there.

Everyone seemed to have a knack for teasing him that day.

God, he wished it was a date. Though he may never admit it, he wanted to be as clingy and loving
as Atsumu and Kiyoomi were. They’re engaged and a quite popular couple at that, especially when
both of them are monsters in the field and are put in the same team. Since the world has become
more open about the LGBTQ community, it has been a lot easier for couples like them to move
freely in public.

When Iwaizumi sees young queer couples nowadays, there’s a little envy in him because they live
in a much more accepting environment than he did before. It followed a lot of maybes when that
train of thought arrived.

That doesn’t matter anymore, because the only thing on Iwaizumi’s priority list that night was to
mend his relationship with Oikawa. And so he marched on his way across the street to the other
hotel.

Right on the dot, he arrived at the lobby and waited by the lounge area for Oikawa. The hotel was
just as luxurious as the one they booked but Iwaizumi liked this one better. It was a high ceiling
lobby, marble floors, a water display at the center, and beautiful plants on pots with gold accents.
The vibe was kind of like an expensive modern Japanese zen.

The jazz music calmed him down a little too but the giddy feeling remained strong. Gosh, these
feelings were making him feel like a teen again, it was nostalgic. Where is he?

A few minutes passed by and still no sign of Oikawa. Oh no, did he forget? There’s no way he
would forget, right?

As if on cue, his phone rang an unknown number. This must be him. Iwaizumi accepted the call
and sat straight.

“Hey, it’s me,” Oikawa greeted, voice sounding a little coarse. He sounded sick. He’s sick.
“Hi, are you okay? You sound like you got cold,” Iwaizumi replied.

“Yeah, *cough* I’m sorry I know I promised tonight but I feel like I won’t make it.”

“No, no! It’s totally fine. We can rain check.”

“Are you sure?”

“Very sure.”

“Alright then, I’m sorry again,” Oikawa sniffed… a few seconds then, he sneezed.

“Did you drink medicine already?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Good. Do you also have a fever?”

“I’m not sure.”

Iwaizumi paused and hesitated. “Can I come up and check?”

“No! There’s no need for that.”

“Okay then, do you need anything right now?”

“I’m all good, Iwa-chan. Thank you for asking.”

Iwaizumi pouted. He really wanted to take care of him right now.

“Mmmkay, get well soon. I still have to prove I’m not a rude person to ya soon.”

Oikawa chuckled. “Thank you, maybe tomorrow again, same time?”

“Sure, tomorrow’s good for me. Call me whenever you’d like.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Okay, I’m hanging up now.”

“Okay…”

“You sure you don’t need anything?”

Oikawa sneezed again. “Yes, I’m sure.”

Iwaizumi frowned. A prime example of tampo.

“Bye-bye.”

“Byeee!” Oikawa took the initiative to end the call.

Iwaizumi was sitting there, arms crossed with a disappointed look. His inner thoughts were
screaming “For the love of God, let me take care of you!”

He let out a defeated sigh before standing up and walking out of the lobby. The urge to forget
everything and barge in to take care of him himself was growing strong in him, but he also wasn’t
the type to push people’s boundaries. Especially Oikawa’s.

A beer would be nice tonight because that phone call lowkey felt like a rejection. He just reminded
himself, “may bukas pa, babawi tayo.”

Fortunately, there was a convenience store nearby so Iwaizumi dragged himself there to get a few
cans of beer. The clerk greeted and he went straight to the drink section. From the aisle next to
him, he could hear two men speaking in another language. There were some words that he could
understand so he figured it was Spanish.

As he chose what beer to get, the voices got closer until they were on the same aisle as he was.

Iwaizumi took a quick glance at them and saw their familiar faces. They were Oikawa’s
teammates. One was holding a phone to his ear, talking to someone like they were being instructed
what to buy.

Iwaizumi, like the half-Filipino he was, eavesdropped and tried to decipher what they were trying
to say. The only things he got from their conversation were “beer”, “gummies”, and the nickname
“Toto.”

He has heard that nickname before. A hunch was forming from these context clues he was given.
Gummies probably were the obvious tell from those words.

At the counter, Iwaizumi paid for his two cans of beer and continued to listen. It seemed like they
were taking long in choosing what beer to take too. When he got his change and receipt, the call
finally ended. Without hesitation, he approached the two Argentinians and asked them in English
about something.

That’s how athletic trainer Iwaizumi Hajime (27) ended up in front of room 1004, holding a bunch
of beer and a pack of gummies. He rang the doorbell twice and waited. There was shuffling that
took a few minutes before he heard the footsteps coming near.

The door opened and Oikawa spoke, “Ah muchisimas gracias- Iwa?”

“You said you were sick! Why were you asking your teammates to buy you beers? You can’t drink
when you have a cold and cough! And you didn’t even have dinner, they said you skipped dinner
with them! How will you live by eating just gummies?” Iwaizumi rambled on and on. Their eyes
meet as he spoke and he immediately noticed his eyes were red and puffy from crying.

The plastic bag dropped on the floor and Iwaizumi’s hands cupped Oikawa's face swiftly. “You
cried.”

Oikawa looked away only for Iwaizumi to wipe the tears that started spilling out with his thumbs.
The warmth of his face met with his cold hands. Wait, it was actually too hot. He checked the
temperature on Oikawa’s neck and felt it burning hot.

“You said you didn’t have a fever,” Iwaizumi said softly.

“A while a-ago, I didn’t,” Oikawa said in between his sobs. Iwaizumi picked up the plastic bag and
assisted Oikawa back to his bed. He rested his back on the headboard and stared out the window,
avoiding Iwaizumi’s gaze.

Iwaizumi sat next to him, brushing the hair out of Oikawa’s face and wiping more tears.
“You’re such a pretty crier. Did you know that?” Iwaizumi muttered. Oikawa stayed quiet,
covering his face as he cried more. Was that a blush on his cheeks?

“How come the last time I saw you, you were crying, and now we meet again, you’re still
crying?” Iwaizumi asked, he sounded sad.

“I’m s-sorry,” Oikawa cried.

“Please talk to me, Tooru . Don’t go through this alone like you always did. I’m not asking you to
talk now, just cry all you want then we can talk about it when you feel better.”

“Okay,” Tooru whispered.

“I’ll order for us since I haven’t had dinner too, do you want something from the hotel menu or fast
food?”

He hiccupped a few times before answering, “I’m not hungry.”

Iwaizumi glared at him.

“Fast food, please.”

“I’ll also call Hinata to get my first-aid bag, Vicks will help you breathe easier.”

The pretty boy nodded and sighed. Iwaizumi made his calls and went back to check on Tooru’s
temperature. He was still crying but he wasn’t heavily sobbing anymore. They missed this. When
Tooru would get sick back then, Iwaizumi would always come prepared with his Vicks. He spread
that good shit all over his face and neck, instantly making him feel a little bit better.

When they were kids, he used to put some even on his chest. But when they were teens, he didn’t
go there anymore because both would feel flustered.

“Hey,” Iwaizumi called.

Tooru looked up to him, finally making eye contact. It was the same pain in his eyes, Iwaizumi
could tell.

“I missed you so much,” he continued.

“I missed you too.” Years of longing evident in their voices.

A smile formed on Iwaizumi’s lips, Tooru couldn’t help but stare. He missed that. It reminded him
of hot summers and daydreams. It reminded him of Batanes. He missed that so much that they
slowly gravitated towards one another until their lips met like the sun setting down the horizon.
Warm and soft, with great comfort and yearning.

Iwaizumi’s hand cupped Tooru’s face as they sank deeper into the kiss. There was no rush as if
they had all the time in the world. This was forever in the palm of their hands. All the love they
couldn’t show way past those 9 years they were apart, from the very first day they had feelings for
each other, was poured into that kiss.

They couldn’t stop smiling, couldn’t stop kissing too. Hindi na kailangan suyuin pa ang isang
dekadang tampo, walang wala sa isang halik.
 This was home. He was home.

Chapter End Notes

[TRANSLATION]

Hindi na kailangan suyuin pa ang isang dekadang tampo, walang wala sa isang halik. -
A decade of sulking does not need to be wooed, for it has nothing on a single kiss.

----------

I AM FUCKING SCREAMING THIS IS SO MUCH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

and YIEEEEEEEEEEE

I told yall better days were coming for Tooru *wink wink* Sorry it took me so long to
upload I was going through a breakup. Yall better be thankful I'm not leaving this fic
on pure heavy angst.

Anyway, I'm in love with touchy clingy Iwaizumi. I want one.

Leave comments or DM me on twitter about the fic if you'd like, they really make my
day better <333
 Where we belong
Chapter Notes

I put English translations of some Tagalog phrases used here at the End Notes so it
doesn't interrupt the momentum of having to read the same thing twice for those who
can understand! Also, I greatly recommend listening to Tahanan by Adie for this
chapter.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

“ Hajime, you might get sick too,” Tooru said in between the kiss. Sounding worried yet having no
intention of stopping. They still kept going, make out was probably the term to use now.

Iwaizumi pulled away a little to say, “Do you really think I care about that now?”

Then they’re back to kissing again. Iwaizumi’s hand went on a small tour from Tooru’s cheeks, to
his nape, through his soft hair, and back to his caressing his face as they went deeper into it. Tooru
missed this so fucking much. He missed the way Iwaizumi’s love language was touch and it would
send his heart tumbling across the world all the time.

Iwaizumi’s other hand found its place to Tooru’s, fingers interlocking.

Their pace stayed consistent, Iwaizumi could go on and on coming up with words to describe the
moment. Slow. Gentle. Soft. Pure. Warm. Tender. Light. Perfect. With a tad bit of eagerness.

Stop wasn’t in their vocabulary. Pause was the only acceptable word that night. At times they felt
the need to say something, they would only pause before their lips would meet again like magnets.

“I like this.” Peck. “I like you.”

“I know, babe, I like you too.”

Tooru giggled at the sudden pet name, the warmth he was feeling wasn’t helping his fever at all.

“How come you’re confident that I like you?”

“Maybe because you’re kissing me back too?” Iwaizumi sarcastically replied.

“Fair point.”

More kisses. Iwaizumi was technically the medicine himself because Tooru‘s head stopped feeling
so heavy and he wasn’t having a hard time breathing properly anymore. He was having a hard time
catching his breath from all that kissing though.

“I have so much to tell you,” Tooru mumbled on his lips.

“Me too. We have all night to listen, don’t worry.”

Thank the heavens somebody knocked on the door or they would have kissed until the sun came
up.
Iwaizumi pouted when they have decided to pull away, leaving a forehead kiss on the spot where
he gave one last time. He lightly pushed Tooru’s back to the headboard so he could rest before
going to the door. The two lovebirds couldn’t look at each other’s eyes, both of them red as fuck
from what just happened.

Tooru had to grab a pillow next to him and bury his face in it. Who actually needs beer when you
can get drunk from your crush’s lips?

At the door, Iwaizumi looked through the peephole to see Hinata holding up paper bags which he
assumed were the delivery for them dropped at the lobby, and his first-aid kit. He opened it and
was greeted by him wriggling his eyebrows teasingly. Nakakailan na ‘to sakin ah.

“How’s the date?” Hinata singsang while handing the bags.

“Not a date, Shoyo,” he gritted through his teeth.

“Not a date my ass when you look fresh from a make-out!”

Suddenly, Iwaizumi grew conscious of what he looked like. “Shut up!”

Hinata giggled and mouthed “good luck”, he couldn’t do anything except send daggers with his
glare because his hands were full. His foot was supposed to shut the door close but Hinata blocked
it and shouted at the small gap, “Get well soon, Oikawa-san! Let’s hang out again before you
leave!”

“Sure sure! Thanks, Shoyo!” Tooru weakly replied.

Bang! Iwaizumi successfully shut the tangerine up before he could even say one more thing. He
has never received this kind of support until he met Hinata, Atsumu, Bokuto, and Kuroo. In his
whole career, he thinks volleyball has to be the most open and gayest community in all sports.
Almost everybody has a boyfriend/fiance/husband while those who are straight have never treated
them any different too. Homophobia was a rare occurrence and it becomes the talk of the town
when it happens.

That was the case in Japan. Hopefully, it was the same in Argentina for Tooru. Iwaizumi couldn’t
imagine him still having to hide in those years he was away from him. How lonely it must have
been.

While he opened the packages, he glanced at his patient on the bed. How is it possible that he
looks so irresistible the longer he stared at Tooru? He wasn’t even doing anything, he was just
there lying on the bed with his eyes closed. Just casually existing peacefully and Iwaizumi’s mind
was having a party at how he bagged this cute setter from another country. Siya na ata yung
pasalubong ko eh.

“Don’t sleep yet, okay? You have to eat and drink medicine.”

“Kiss me awake then.”

There goes his mind again. The short circuit thing that he experiences when he couldn’t handle it.
All he ever does was close his eyes and take a deep breath. He’d have to get used to this soon, he’s
never letting him slip away again. Bold statements and flirty remarks will now be a part of his
normal day.

He’d better be good at his comebacks too, he couldn’t lose to this pretty boy.

“Mmmkay,” Iwaizumi muttered before pressing his lips onto Tooru’s. Damn, he could do this
forever?! Gone are the days that he would only stare at those plump lips when Tooru was asleep on
his shoulder. Countless times did he daydream of being able to kiss them, especially on going-
home bus trips from tournaments. Now he has felt it with his own lips!

It was only a peck this time. Tooru really needed to get better first before anything else.

Iwaizumi placed a pillow on Tooru’s lap as a makeshift table and placed his meal on top of it. Then
he walked to the other side of the bed to sit next to him and do the same thing. This is his
newfound favorite place in the world, next to him, without hidden feelings. He could randomly rub
his thumb on the back of Tooru’s palm and no one would give a damn.

They ate in the comfortable silence that night. Though later on, Iwaizumi found out there was a
Spotify app on the TV and logged into it so he could play some mellow tunes from his favorite
playlist. New Filipino songs made their way into his list as new bands arose into the limelight, one
could say that he is really a big fan of OPM. Most of them he wanted to play or sing for his long-
time crush right here.

Once Tooru was done with his dinner, he gave him the medicine for fever, cough, and cold.
Hajime held a thermometer in one hand and a Vicks container in the other, ready to be used all over
Tooru’s upper body. Tooru could tell he was an expert at taking care of sick people because he
knew everything he was doing. Was it the right time to say that was attractive? Maybe not.

He started putting some on Tooru’s temples at first, massaging them as he rubbed the ointment.
Then he dabbed a little on his nose for his cold before putting more on his neck. While Iwaizumi
took more Vicks on his fingers, Tooru smiled at him in admiration.

“What?” He smiled fondly.

“Can we move past calling each other by our last names? It’s like we didn’t spend our childhood
together.” Tooru complained.

“I call you Tooru sometimes.”

“No, you only use that once in a blue moon.” He huffed.

“Alright then, what else would you like me to call you?”

“Huh?” This doe-eyed pretty boy pretended not to hear that when he was just clearly taken aback.

“Nothing, maybe it’s too soon for that.” Iwaizumi chuckled and gave him another peck on the lips.
“Turn around, it’ll put some ointment on your back too.”

It took a lot of mental strength for him to focus when putting Vicks on Tooru’s back. He cannot
afford to be distracted by a huge area of visible skin. There’s… another day for that. After taking
care of Tooru, he tucked him under the covers and pinched his cheeks.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“Just wanted to check if this was a dream.”

“Aren’t you supposed to do that to yourself?”

Iwaizumi laughed. “Ssshh, go get rest and I will clean up the mess in your room for a moment.
Jeez, Trashykawa. You’re 27 and you still don’t know how to unpack your things properly?”

“The displacement of my things is exactly how I want them to be,” Tooru explained with pride.

He just shook his head and proceeded to fold his clothes and clean up the table all while singing
along quietly to his playlist. There weren’t any other noises in the room aside from the music
playing on the TV, so Tooru was able to hear his singing voice very well. It was like a lullaby as he
remembered how familiar it was to his ears. His voice changed; It was deeper and sultry, maybe a
little husky too.

In a matter of short time, the room was squeaky clean and Iwaizumi could finally lay beside Tooru.
He leaned onto the headboard and Tooru moved to rest his head on Hajime’s chest. It all happened
naturally, their synergy was like no other. Being this close wasn’t the first time, and it was obvious
in how they snuggled to places where they belong.

Ears pressed on his chest, Tooru could hear Hajime’s voice and heartbeat simultaneously. Another
song he could barely understand because he assumed it was in Filipino again. It sounded nice, it
probably meant something beautiful too.

Tooru read the title on the screen and asked, “What does tahanan mean?”

“It means home, my love .”

“Oh,” Tooru mumbled. “Tell me more about the song.”

Hajime held his hand and fumbled with his fingers as he explained, “It’s kinda poetic, the song
actually uses profound words. Mmmm… my favorite part has to be the chorus. It repeatedly says
‘stay here by my side’ and then it ends with ‘the world slows down, when you’re here, my home.’”

“That’s so cute!”

“Right?” Hajime exclaimed. “And- and! Isn’t it cuter knowing that Tahanan comes from the root
word Tahan which means to stop crying? If you add na, it then means don’t cry anymore. Which is
beautiful because home is where you really shouldn’t be crying a lot because that’s where you’re
supposed to feel loved the most.”

Tooru huffed, “I like your words, pretty man.”

He chuckled. “Can I say something corny to you then?”

“Oh god, please no!” Tooru laughed. “You say the funniest things when we get sentimental.”

Hajime laughed along because there was no denying that. He does say things as if straight out of a
Pinterest quote.

“By the way, when did you start liking me?” Tooru asked, tilting his head up to make eye contact
with him. “I genuinely had no idea until we went to Batanes.”

“It wasn’t clear to me exactly when because I was always fond of you ever since we met. Heck, I
even told you we can be boyfriends once we’re older when you wanted one at an early age of 6 if
you remember that.”

Tooru gasped, sitting up in disbelief. “So that’s what you said that day?!”

“Mhmm, I clearly remember saying something like mom said kids shouldn’t have that yet because
we’re too young but we can definitely be boyfriends when we’re older, just be patient.”

“How could I not remember that?” Tooru scolded himself before cuddling back to Hajime.

“How could you when you kept sobbing and wailing so much you probably didn’t hear me?”

“Hey! I was heartbroken okay?” Tooru whined, making Hajime smile. He missed annoying this
person at every possible chance he could get.

“How about you? When did you start liking me?”

“Not sure too, but I realized when we were about to enter high school. I kept denying my feelings
though because I was scared. Scared of my parents, scared of losing you.”

Hajime’s heart sank at the thought of him going through that alone. He wished he could have
helped a lot more but it was understandable that Tooru couldn’t tell all his worries to him because
he was part of it.

Tooru continued, “You know how my dad is. Always perfect, high achiever, and traditional. Then
there’s my mom who would always follow whatever dad believed and said. So I tried my best to
ignore it and save myself from what I thought was a mistake.”

He spoke so casually like it wasn’t his own story, and that hurt Hajime more because he knows he
was only trying not to sound hurt by it anymore. Occasionally, he would hum or say words of
encouragement to make it known to him that he was still listening.

That was a fragile moment, a flower blossoming carefully. Tooru allowed himself to be vulnerable
slowly by slowly, and Hajime held him with utmost care.

“Do you remember? I dated a girl. Sometimes I would avoid you. Summer before our last year in
high school, they noticed I was gay. I don’t know how- I don’t know how they found out when I
hid so well. Mom and dad confronted me and they took my silence as a confirmation. They… said
so many things I could never forget, it’s burned in the back of my mind. Dad was shouting, then
there was mom who was more concerned that the neighbors could hear.”

He took his time telling everything, pausing when he felt like the tears were about to fall. Hajime
was ready to catch them and wipe them away at any given moment.

“My sister… she was busy that day and so I literally had no one to talk to. That’s why I was upset
with her for a long time, it was petty of me, I know. But we made up before I left for Argentina. It
was so lonely and scary. They even mentioned you and told me to stay away from you, I was
scared they knew that I liked you.”

Tooru sighed, he was unconsciously shaking as he told everything to Hajime. “As much as
possible, I didn’t want you to get involved. I couldn’t tell our friends too because I was afraid of
what they would think. Then when I thought of going on a summer trip with you guys, I let myself
enjoy liking you so much one last time because I thought it would be the last time.”

“Was it the last time though?”

“No, of course not! I was quietly simping for you all the way from a different continent!” Tooru
exclaimed, making wide hand movements to emphasize his point.

This boy will never know Hajime did the same, his Instagram daily check-in agenda will forever
remain a secret as he swore.

“Good,” Hajime kissed the top of his head. “Anyway, please continue.”

“God, Hajime, you were all up in my business during those days that I was starting to think you
had a thing for me too and that was my turning point. Wait- no actually, the turning point was me
finding out about the song you kept pestering me with.”

“How did you find out?” He mused.

“I asked Auntie Joy to translate it for me.”

“Oh, I see. And then what happened next?”

“I cried that night you and your relatives were having a party. I was scared that the lyrics were
meant for me because that’s what you always do and instead of feeling happy, I felt paranoid that
you would go through the same thing I did if your parents found out. So when you kissed me at the
lighthouse-” Tooru let out a sob.

Hajime pulled themselves up so he could wipe his tears properly, he handed him a tissue box just in
case he needed them.

“I ran away and never looked back. For the first few years, my parents would always send me
messages to check on me and I would reply diligently. Then I got tired of all the baggage I was
carrying and decided to cut them off for good after coming out properly on a text message. They
never replied, Iwa. O-only Mina was ever so supportive of me and was messaging me daily.”

Every time a tear would fall from Tooru’s eyes, Hajime would wipe it away while he soothed his
back as he cried more. “I tried to go out with other people to make my life less dull but it just never
works out, it sucks, they were all so boring. Never lasts for more than a day.”

Wow, a while ago I was sympathizing with him and next thing you know, I’m jealous. Anyway,
that’s not important right now.

“When I heard about Tokyo Olympics, I first thought of you. I prayed a little that I’d see you again
and maybe talk to you. Hoped a lot that you still like me and that maybe we could finally make
things happen the way we wanted before. That’s why I cried when I got here to my room, I was
overwhelmed.” He told him. “Also because I was being a baby about how I was sick and no one
was taking care of me.”

Hajime let out a small laugh and offered him a hug, Tooru accepted this wholeheartedly and
sobbed in his shirt.

“Better days are coming now, I’ll make up for the 9 years and more that I wasn’t by your side.”

Tooru sniffed, “Okay. I’m holding on to that.”

He tipped his face up so he could look at his eyes. He wished they could have met sooner, then
maybe Tooru could have smiled more than cried about this long-term problem. Wishing won’t do
anything now, so he resorted to sincere words like he always has.
“I’m proud of you for making it this far, did you know that?” Hajime spoke and Tooru gestured
‘no’. “You’ve gone through so much, alone at that. And you grew out of your comfort zone too! I
know my presence itself won’t heal any of that pain, but I will do my best to be of any aid to you.”

“Thank you, Iwa,” Tooru uttered. “You always know what to say.”

A little while later, Tooru yawned more often. It was getting late and he was exhausted from
today’s events. He moved his head on Hajime’s lap so he could use him as a pillow and a hand
checked the temperature on his forehead. It was getting back to normal again.

“Stay here tonight, okay? There’s a free toothbrush in the bathroom,” Tooru noted.

“I was gonna ask earlier but I got shy,” Hajime confessed, making Tooru laugh.

“But you don’t get shy when you say corny things?” He teased.

“You like it when I say them!” Hajime pouted.

He grinned mischievously, “Hell yeah, I do.”

Somehow they ended up talking until 1 am. Tooru went through Haijme’s gallery as he told stories
about his life, the problems he encountered, and new friends he has made in his career. If he had
fangs, he would have flashed them on instinct when he see Ushijima’s face when he swiped left. It
was the photo Hajime was wishing to show him.

Of course, Tooru made a short ramble of his disapproval of Ushijima. Then he inserted another
ramble dedicated to Kageyama, how he has improved a lot but he’ll never be better than Tooru.
Then he gossiped too about the fling Kageyama and Hinata had that lasted a few months.

Hajime listened to all of them and Tooru did too when it was his turn. No secret was safe. After all,
they were best friends before they were lovers.

At 2 am, Hajime insisted that they sleep already. All snuggled up under the duvet, lights turned
off, Tooru started another conversation. Hajime couldn’t resist responding too no matter how much
he told him to sleep already.

“Hajime,” Tooru called to which he answered with a hum. “What would you do if things didn’t
work out the way they did tonight?”

“I would still wait for you.”

“Wouldn’t you get tired of waiting?”

“No. I was confident it would work out so I didn’t think much ahead. We were bound to see each
other again and I knew that from the start.”

Tooru made a noise of disbelief. “You’re bluffing!”

“Am not! Quit arguing and sleep!”

He crossed his arms and said, “If I found out you were with someone already, that would be the
beginning of my villain arc.”
 “You were always a villain anyway.”

“Rude! See, we didn’t have to go to that dinner to know if you still are.”

Hajime belted out a loud laugh. A mental image of Tooru wearing a supervillain attire awoke his
sleepy state. “We’re still up for that, okay? You promised!”

“Yes, sir.”

“Okay, now let’s sleep.”

“Can I get a kiss before we do?”

“No.”

Tooru gasped dramatically. “Why not?”

Hajime hid his face in Tooru’s neck and mumbled, “I just feel like I wouldn’t be able to stop
kissing you.”

Now they were both red and blushing again, Tooru could see it on Hajime’s ears. He was right
though, Tooru could spend an eternity doing whatever the hell Hajime started. But not for now
because like he said, he might get sick too.

“Fine…” he sighed in defeat. “Not even a quick kiss?”

Hajime pouted his lips from where he was hiding his face enough to reach Tooru’s neck. He left a
kiss like what Tooru wanted and at last, the moment was perfect for sleeping. It was finally quiet
and he was drifting off to his dreams.

Not until he felt Hajime kiss it again, and again, and again, until he stayed there as if… he was
leaving a mark!

Before he could utter a sound, Hajime stopped and hugged him closer if that was even possible.

“Good night Tooru,” he whispered.

“Y-yeah… good night.” Good night to you, now I’ll never be able to sleep tryna recover from that
you sly fox.

Chapter End Notes

[TRANSLATION]

Nakakailan na ‘to sakin ah - (Jokingly) He has annoyed me too many times now.
Siya na ata yung pasalubong ko eh - I think he's my souvenir.

----------

They are so in love, your honor.

Please excuse Iwa, he is touch-deprived. Proofreading this chapter felt like I was
disturbing an intimate moment. Pasensya naman po sa inyo ha, ako nalang aalis as
 author nakakahiya naman sa lambingan niyo.

btw, I'm on Twitter too if you want to message me or interact with me about this fic!
My username is @kiwi_crumbs just like my TikTok and Insta account. Hope you
liked this chapter! Let me know on the comments if u did <3

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