A Lesson From Yourself

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/32666857.

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: F/M
Fandom: Loki (TV 2021), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Relationship: Loki/Sylvie (Loki TV), Loki & Sylvie (Loki TV)
Character: Loki (Marvel), Sylvie (Loki TV)
Additional Tags: Romance, Kissing, Love Confessions, Loki is bitter and hurt about what
happened with Sylvie but he still loves her, Sylvie is regretful and angry
and confused, Sylki, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Episode: s1e06 For All Time
Always, Episode 6 Aftermath, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort,
Tears, Hugging
Series: Part 1 of Doing my best to add some wholesome Sylki fics to the tag
Stats: Published: 2021-07-18 Words: 4468

A Lesson From Yourself

by TheAngelofFate

Summary

After the events with Kang, Loki makes it his mission to right the wrongs he helped make,
with Sylvie by his side he's determined to fix everything, even if he had no idea what he
was doing.

(In which Loki and Sylvie time hop through different realities, finding and killing off as
many Kangs as they could, in a vain attempt to fix the biggest fuck up they had ever made
in both their entire lives.)

Notes
See the end of the work for notes

Sacred timeline destroyed, hundreds if not thousands of new branches created, and a war on the
horizon, all simply because the only woman he ever trusted couldn't put her pain and sorrow
beyond the bigger picture. Something was coming, it lingered everywhere he walked, as though it
was mocking him silently, vibrating in his ears and making the guilt only grow.

When he found Mobius, when he had run to find him, needing comfort from his one and only
friend, maybe even ask for his TemPad as to get back to the Void and find Sylvie, didn't recall who
he was, neither did B-15. But Loki quickly put together why, branched timelines meant multiple
events, meaning Sylvie had unknowingly sent him to a TVA who didn't or wasn't aware of his
existence. Which only proceeded to add to the raw emotions he was already being crushed under.

But still he managed, still he pushed down all those feelings and focused on the task he had chosen
himself to fix.

After stealing a TemPad from this versions TVA Loki made it his mission of two things: One: to
stop whatever it was that he had helped start and Two: Find Sylvie. No matter what her reasonings
were, even if they were ones he understood one thousand percent, they had still caused something
worse to come about, and even if she refused, kicked, and screamed, he was going to do what his
father and brother had tried to get him to do, and face his actions.

Over the next week, Loki traveled to as many timelines as he could, he did his best to deal with the
other He Who Remains he had help unleash, ones ranging from dangerous to deadly. Loki did his
best to either convince them to stop or get rid of them in hopes this by some chance would help. He
didn't think killing these He Who Remains Variants would ultimately help in the long run, but Loki
had no other way to go about anything really.

Eventually, upon his seventh timeline jump, he had found her. Or more so, they had found each
other. He'd been chasing after a Variant down an alleyway in Newhio, a timeline where New York
and Ohio were combined, when something slammed into him, knocking him to the ground. It took
a minute to gain his bearings before he looked to his right and saw her.

His heart flipped and traveled immediately to his throat, he saw Sylvie look up too and her eyes
went wide upon seeing him.

"Loki?"

God he missed her voice.

"Sylvie."

Time stood still, as the two stared at the other.

Loki felt near sick with vertigo upon seeing her, he had no idea why or how she came to be here
but all he knew was that he didn't know how to feel about it. His head swam as he battled with the
urge to run away or pull her close as the memory of their final time together, the kiss they had
shared flashed within his mind making him blush while the other part of it hit him like a speeding
train. And that feeling of hurt and betrayal nearly consumed any positive emotion he had for her,
Loki had this sudden and abrupt urge to get as far away from her as possible. Because he
remembered the hurt he felt, the pain, the utter agony his heart felt after watching that portal close
with him on the other side. Instead to protect himself from further heartache, he chose something
along the middle.

Standing up, he quickly took her by the arm, hauled her to her feet, and pulled her along with him
in the direction of the Variant.

"Where are we—" She began to ask but Loki cut her off with a quick

"Fixing our mess."

And for the next couple months, that's exactly what they did, they traveled to as many timelines, as
many branches as they could and hunted down the Variants they were looking for, keeping their
relationship strictly professional as Loki kept Sylvie at arms length. He tried not to see it, did his
best to ignore it, dismiss the look on her face whenever they spoke, how he never met her eyes
anymore like he had before.

He could tell by the expression on her face that she was hurting, there was regret on her face, but
he had no idea if that guilt was due to her breaking his heart or killing Kang. But right now he
couldn't comfort her, his heart still felt jaded, plus they didn't have time they needed to focus on
fixing this mistake.

But apparently, on their tenth time jump after they hit a dead end in locating this world's Kang
Variant, it all came to a halt.

Loki opened the door to the apartment they had rented throughout all the timelines they've visited
so far. Ironically, in every reality this apartment complex was the only thing that stayed constant,
with its cheap price and stained walls. It was a dump and it was perfect for them to hide in plain
sight, without drawing any suspicion to this world's TVA.

He let out a frustrated sigh as he ran hand through his hair, as he tossed his knives on the coffee
table and leaned against the wall. They'd been doing this so long and he was exhausted, physically
and mentally drained of nearly everything he had. He wanted to stop moving, stop hopping
realities. He just wanted, wished for it all to just stop.

He felt her presence next to him, they weren't as close as they had been in the Void. But Loki still
scooted away enough to give him added distance between them. "Well that was a waste." Loki
grunted at her attempts of sarcasm, a means to lighten the uncomfortable tension already in the air
just by them standing next to the other. "This is what? The fifth dead end we've had? Either these
Variants are realizing what we're doing and escaping before we arrive or they are just really good
at covering their tracks."

"Or both." He added, letting his rest rest against the wall

"Or both." She agreed.

A minute of silence passed between them, the longer it lasted the more he could feel Sylvie
growing more uncomfortable. Loki felt her pressed a hand to his shoulder, in an attempt of comfort,
to show that she was there, to try and cross that distance between them.

And Loki so badly wanted to relax under that comfort but the flash of that memory went through
him, making his skin prickle and his heart ache all over again, he immediately pulled away and
walked away from her. "Don't."

From behind him, Sylvie sounded angry, "What?"

He could think properly, as he ran a hand through his hair and shook his hands, trying to get rid of
this sensation along his arm. "Just don't."

Sylvie scoffed, "What? So I decide to follow my plan and kill the one responsible for making my
life a living hell and you suddenly want nothing to do with me?"

He turned to face her and he immediately wished he hadn't because the pained and furious look on
her face was nearly enough to make his own pain evaporate, selflessly casting himself aside in
favor of her. But he steeled himself, and held his betrayed feelings right against his chest and stood
his ground.

"Sylvie, I asked— I begged you to wait, to stop just long enough for us to figure things out. That
what we were presented with was bigger than both of us." His heart hammered in his chest as he
looked her directly in the eyes.

"I needed to kill him." She said defensively, holding her chin up high.

Loki tilted his head, eyes still never leaving her, "But it didn't make you feel better, did it? It left
you feeling empty, unsatisfied?"

Sylvie glared at him, "No." but it was a lie, he could tell by the way her throat moved, that she was
trying to hide her guilt. "I have everyone free will. I'm glad."

He scoffed at her, sadly. "Liar."

Her nose wrinkled in the way it does when she's upset about something, "I told you nothing would
stop me."

"And I told you I needed time."

Sylvie rolled her eyes at him, her frustration growing. "Time for what? All I did was send you back
to the TVA."

Loki let out a puff of hollowed laughter, "Oh, you did so much more than that."

His heart was already beginning to ache at even the thought of explaining his feelings, and yet here
he was, doing it anyway. "I looked you in the eye and poured out everything, for the first time in
my life I was being honest. I didn't want to fight you, I didn't want to hurt you, and the thought of
killing you, when you asked me to— Gods, it terrified me, Sylvie." He closed his eyes and inhaled
a sharp breath. "I know why you did it, I even understand pushing me away. But I gave my whole
heart to you and you just stomped on it."

"Loki—"

"Did that kiss mean anything to you?" He hadn't realized he was crying until he opened his eyes
again and his gaze must have pierced her soul because she took a step back, "Or was it just a play?
A distraction?"

"I—" Sylvie shook her head, blue eyes misty. "It was… It was a goodbye."

Loki pressed his lips into a thin line, took a moment to keep himself from breaking down
completely. "Well… mission accomplished then."

He tore his eyes away from her and headed towards the door. He needed time, he needed to be
somewhere that wasn't here, needed to be away from her so that he could compose himself. He
just… needed to get away.

"Where are you going?"

"Out. I need to think. Being around you right now isn't helping."

He was out the door before Sylvie even had a chance to protest.

Loki walked along the sidewalk with his hands in his pocket and the collar of his button up shirt
pulled up over his neck with his head down. It was raining now, and without an umbrella or a
proper coat to wear he was now soaked to the bone, but he didn't notice much. All of his thoughts
were on the conversation he had with Sylvie.

He felt like he was being pulled in two different directions. Forgiving Sylvie or holding on to his
bitterness. He's never had experienced this before, this kind of feeling that left him feeling dizzy
with vertigo, while he felt equal parts gutted and whole by Sylvie mere presence.

Loki wished he had someone to tell him what to do, he was never good at handling his emotions,
even as a child he kept them under lock and key, determined to never show weakness, to anyone,
not his father or brother, not even the subjects his father ruled over did he ever allow himself the
moment showing how he felt. The only person who ever dared see him in such a state was his
mother. She helped him understand things about himself that he never knew were possible. His
magic, his identity, his feelings about people, about life itself in general. His mother taught him all
that and then some, he was grateful to her teachings, to her love that she always showed him no
matter how many mistakes he made.

He very much wished that he could consult her on what to do, but it was impossible to do so, at
least in this world. On this Midgard, there was no Asgard, there was no kings and queens and royal
rulers, no Asgardian culture or practice. Just earth. With normal people, normal jobs and normal
lives. Therefore since there was no Asgard, it is safe to assume his family weren't ever created to
begin with.

He was all alone, once again.

Loki shivered against the rain as he crossed the next street over on a red light. He rounded a corner
and suddenly stopped when he heard the laughter of well himself. He jerked his head up, his brain
immediately thinking it was just another Variant of himself ready to fight, but paused and stood
there as a couple feet from him was Sylvie. But this Sylvie seemed to be far different personality
wise from his own.

Also that fiery red hair was certainly different.

This Sylvie seemed to laugh more, and also seemed a lot happier, as she and the other Loki walked
together down the street, arms looping around each other hiding under an umbrella. They seemed
to be enjoying the other's company as they seemed to be having a deep conversation about
something and Loki had this sudden urge to follow them.

Changing his appearance to that of an old man, Loki followed the pair and came to the realization
that these two weren't Variants at all unlike him and his Sylvie were. But they were normal people
living on earth, with normal human lives.

"What's with the face?" He heard this world's Sylvie ask with a laugh

Loki watched his other self smile, "What face?"

Sylvie ran gentle fingers through Loki's hair, comfortingly, "The face you make when you're
worried about something."

A soft scoff, came from his other self. And Loki watched as this normal version of him, took
Sylvie's fingers and kissed her knuckles, making her blush. "I guess I'm just worried about us."

She tilted her head, "Us?"

"I guess what my family's reaction will be when we tell them my big news." He watched as his
other self ran a hand through his hair, something that he is known to do when nervous. "I mean my
mother and father will adore you, I know. But Thor… he's always been a bit…"

"Protective?" Sylvie snorted, a sound that made both Loki's chuckle at how adorable it
was, "Siblings allude me seeing as I never had any of my own, but isn't that normal. He's your big
brother, hasn't he always been like that?"

Loki moved a bit closer to the couple, making sure not to draw suspicion to himself as this world's
Loki let out a laugh, "Ever since the jock and the cheerleader tied me to the flagpole in high school.
Thor's always had this mindset that our family was enough for me."

"He's scared you'll get hurt again, that's normal." Sylvie said softly, her red hair blowing across her
face, as she reached for his hands, "Well, he has nothing to fear and neither do you, do you know
why?"

"Why?"

Loki watched the most wholesome expression spread across Sylvie's face, "Because you are the
best thing that's ever happened to me, and I can't wait to marry and spend the rest of my life with
you." He watched as the two embraced lovingly and he, himself, had to turn away because of how
it made him feel. He felt pained, he felt angry, he felt agony and a desire that trumped all the other
emotions.

Oh how he longed for something like that with his Sylvie because he adored her. Truly he did. As
much as he wanted so badly to hold on to the feeling of betrayal in his heart to prevent himself
from more heartache, he knew that his other feelings for her, would always be constant, would
always be there to remind him of why.

And the why, was because he loved her.

Loki hadn't realized he was crying until he tasted salt mixed in with rain water that was still
soaking him from head to toe. He sucked in a breathe, and his chest heaved as his breathing
stuttered.

He was absolutely one hundred percent smitten with her and that's why her betrayal had gutted him
to the core. He looked at Sylvie and saw everything he was and could be, because she was the best
version. She was Sylvie, she was confident, strong, wonderful and he adored her.

He wants to always be by her side, regardless of the mistakes they made. Despite the hurt he still
felt at her betrayal, he wanted to. He wanted to forgive her, to tell her how much she really meant to
him. Bare his heart once again to her and prayed to the Gods that she accepted it this time. After
all, if two completely normal versions of them could find happiness then why not them?

He owed it to himself and to Sylvie to try.

Loki barely remembered walking away from the couple and running back to the apartment until he
was out of breath and panting. He runs up the stairs and throws the door open, eyes immediately
searching for Sylvie, and he finds her sitting in a chair, her back hunched and shoulders slumped,
while tears cascaded down her.

His heart jolted with regret and agony. How could he have left her all alone? How could he have
selfishly abandoned her and left her to rot in her guilt and torment?

"Loki?" Sylvie questioned softly, she stood up just at the moment he surged forward, his hands
stretching outward long before his body reached her, gently, so very gently, because it's the kind of
affection she deserved, and kissed her tenderly.

The rest of the world fell away after that, there was nothing else but them. Tears were spilling
down both their cheeks as they were lost in this pure blissful moment. His heart ached and he
pulled away with a whimper, "I'm sorry," He said through his tears, shivering, "Sylvie, I'm so
sorry." He pulled her forward again, his lips ghosting over hers before hers turned his head and
pulled her into an embrace instead.

Both their legs were trembling from the sheer amount of emotions they were both feeling, so Loki
gently lowered them both to their knees.

Sylvie clung to him, her fingernails dug into the fabric of his shirt, as she pressed her face into the
croak of his shoulder, "I-It meant something to me."

"What?" Loki murmured softly, as he stroked a hand down her hair, holding her close to him,

"The kiss, it was a goodbye." She sniffled, her tears soaking into his already soaked shirt, "I wanted
to keep you safe but also out of my way, because I felt the same way you did, I do. But my need for
bloodshed outweighed my feelings for you."

"Sylvie—"

"I fucked up."

Loki kissed her temple tenderly, "It's okay."

Sylvie laughed hollowly, burying her face into his shirt. "How can you say that? How can you not
be angry with me, how can you not hate me, after what I did?"

Loki tightened his arms around her, holding her protectively to him, and practically dared anyone
to take her away from him, "Because, I love you."

Sylvie let out a choked wail at his words, and his heart hurt from the sheer raw emotion she was
showing, "Say it again?"

"I love you." He gasped, as he started to cry like he was twelve years old once more, running to his
mother for comfort, Loki peppered her cheeks with soft kisses as rocked them back and forth,
feeling as though his chest was going to burst from the emotion he was feeling, "I love you.
Sylvie, I love you."

Her breath hitched deep in her chest and Loki knew she was trying hard to compose herself, "I love
you too."

Loki let out a joyous laugh, his tears obscuring his vision, never did he think he'd ever heard those
words come out of her mouth. To know she felt the same way as he did, it sent his heart soaring
and his body was vibrating with happiness he could hardly contain it as he kissed her again and
again before he pulled back to look at her expression to look into those gorgeous blue eyes of her,
cupping her cheeks. Loki was so caught up in the moment, his brain was just filled to the brim with
static that he couldn't help but blurt out, "Marry me, Sylvie. Someday, please… if we manage to
survive this. Please please..."

To his surprise and shock, Sylvie nodded, "Yes…"

He said it as a joke, never did he actually believe she would say yes to such a sudden question he
blurted out, out of pure frantic desperation, "Really?"

She nodded once more, tears still cascading. "Yes."

Loki let out a noise that was a mix of a sob, a chuckle and a sigh of relief, his face hurt from
smiling so much but he did not much care as he pressed their foreheads together, pads of his thumb
softly caressing her cheeks.

"Loki—"
He loved it when she said his name, it made his heart feel all the more triumphant that she
accepted his love and even more so, returned it so that he wasn't alone in feeling it. "I love you."

Sylvie pulled away just enough to raise her hands, and cup his cheeks gently, wiping away his own
tears and Loki couldn't help but lean into the touch, turning his face to the side and pressed his lips
to her palm. She smiled, her expression soft, "I know, but you need to breathe. You look like you're
about to have a panic attack."

And she was right.

His heart was beating to the near point of bursting, his breathing was shallow, he could hardly get
any air into his lungs.

But he was happy, so very happy for the first time in what felt like centuries, he didn't want to let
that feeling go just yet. He shook his head and moved to kiss her again, "I love you."

She let out a small laugh that sounded more of a sob against him and his breathing hitched at the
sound, fresh tears pooled and spilt down his face. "I know you do, but you need to calm down."

Loki chuckled to himself, figures that of the two of them, she'd be the first to recover from this
emotional moment while he, himself was dangling over the edge of this euphoric pit of love and
bliss.

Sylvie let out a sigh, her hands were on his chest pushing and moving to pull away completely, and
for the first time since this entire scenario started Loki felt a spike of genuine fear work it's way
into his heart, his mind flashing back to their last memory together, where she pushed him through
the TempPad portal. He embraced her tightly, "No!" He gasped, his body trembling,
"Don't, please…"

She scoffed softly, with a hint of teasing in her voice, "God's sake, you're like a lost puppy."

Maybe he was, but he didn't care. All that he knew was that he didn't want her to send him away, so
he clung to her instead, hoping that would be enough. He felt Sylvie put her hands on his arms,
giving him just the right amount of physical contact to keep him from pulling her back towards
him, as she stood to her feet, taking her with him, leading him to the couch.

"What are you doing?" He asked curiously.

Sylvie sat them both on the couch that was lump and uncomfortable but necessary in that moment,
"You're clearly on the verge of passing out, so you need to lay down before you make us both fall
to the ground." She gently maneuvered him to lay stretched out on the couch, using her lap like a
makeshift pillow.

He looked up at the ceiling for a moment, blinking and breathing and trying to compose himself as
he let out a yawn. Then his eyes found Sylvie's face and his heart stuttered, joyfully. "Sylvie." He
murmured, reaching up and stroking the bridge of her nose with the side of his finger, making her
chuckle. "I love you."

"You've made that abundantly clear." Sylvie stroked his forehead with her fingers, "But I love you
too."

Tears formed in his eyes, his heart soaring once more as his throat constricted with emotion,
hearing her say those words to him. He intertwined his fingers with hers and kissed her hand, "This
is real." He murmured, hopefully, "This between us, right?" Sylvie blinked then, a look of
realization came across her face, fresh tears pooled in her ocean blue eyes, and he sat up a little,
 looking at her worriedly, "Sylvie?"

Had he said something wrong?

"No, I'm fine." Sylvie let out a wet laugh, shaking her head and gently pushing him back to her lap
with one hand, while squeezing their already entwined fingers in her other. "I'm just a little
overwhelmed. I told you I don't know how to do this."

"You're doing perfectly fine." He assured her, adoringly, "You're amazing, I assure you with my
whole heart, that you are,"

"You're ridiculous, you know that?" Sylvie snorted, raising their shared hands and resting her
forehead against it, "You are supposed to be resting, sleeping even."

Loki hummed, eyes softening, wrinkling as they looked at her, "How can I? When I'm looking at
you?"

Sylvie's shoulders trembled at his words, in a laugh that once more sounded like a sob, "My god,
you really are ridiculous."

"Ridiculously smitten with you, my Sylvie."

Sylvie let out a full body laugh at this, and she hunched her body forward and covered her face in
his chest, Loki couldn't help but let out one of his own at his own corny words, wrapping his free
arm around her back and pulling her close to him.

"You never answered my question." He muttered, still holding her hand, while she rested her head
against the back of the couch, "Is this real? Us?"

Sylvie hummed in thought, if only to tease him and he nudged her with the side of his head, "Yes,
it's real."

Loki closed his eyes and smiled, "I'm glad." Because he was, he was soaring through the cloud
with wonder and bliss, with the knowledge that this was real, he pulled her hand forward and
pressed his lips there. "I'm so very glad."

He cared not for the multiverse war that was beyond the horizon, for the Variants they were
chasing to right the wrongs they made. All he cared about was Sylvie, everything she was as a
person, everything she was to herself, and everything she was to him, how she brightened up his
heart and lit up his eyes.

Truly, this strong, wonderful and beautiful woman really was his glorious purpose, and he was
never letting her go ever again.

End Notes

To say that this is my first attempt at writing a romantic fic would be a lie, it hasn't been but
this is something that I ever rarely do. Nearly 90% of my fics are platonic and yet when I
do have the urge to do romance I do my best to be as lovey dovey as possible and not even
go near the NSFW side.
 Being aromantic, and the concept of romance in general is sometimes at a loss with me,
even now I don't even know if this story is any good. This fic was hard to do, I will admit,
but I was determined to finish it even if no one sees it.

Anywoo, I hope you all enjoy this random story, feedback is always welcomed and
appreciated down in the comments and I will see you all later.

Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!