Table of Contents

SEXUAL IDENTITY

What It Means to Be
Aromantic
People who are aromantic do not
experience romantic attraction
By Kendra Cherry Updated on October 17, 2022

Medically reviewed by Steven Gans, MD

Verywell / Madelyn Goodnight

Table of Contents
DeKnition

Characteristics

Aromanticism vs. Asexuality

Aromantic Spectrum

Relationships

VIEW ALL

In intimate relationships, what starts as

romantic love, which includes an intense desire
for closeness and emotional intimacy, often
transitions into compassionate love. People
who are aromantic, however, don't feel this
way. This is because an aromantic person
doesn't feel a romantic attraction toward
others.

Advertisement

Advertisement

Learn more about aromanticism and how it

aCects relationships. If you identify as
aromantic, we share a few tips for caring for
your mental health. We also provide ways that
you can help support a family member or
friend who is aromantic.

What Does It Mean to Be

Aromantic?
A person who is aromantic does not experience
romantic attraction to persons of any gender. [1]
People who are aromantic also lack interest in
having romantic relationships. Romantic
attraction refers to a desire to have emotional
contact and interaction with a partner, while
the deKnition of a romantic relationship can
vary depending on the individual.

Aromanticism is the opposite of

alloromanticism, which is a desire to
experience a romantic relationship.

Aromanticism is sometimes known by the

abbreviated form “aro.” In the LGBTQIA+
lexicon, the “A” represents aromantic, asexual,
and agender. Although the exact prevalence of
aromanticism is not known, one study
suggests that around 1% of people identify as
asexual and around 25% of these were also
aromantic. [2]

Advertisement

140 nominaciones al Emmy®

SUSCRÍBETE AHORA

Celebra con nosotros

© 2022 WarnerMedia Direct Latin America, LLC. Todos los derechos
reservados. HBO Max se usa bajo licencia.
© 2022 WarnerMedia Direct Latin America, LLC. Todos los
Advertisement

Related: What Does the Term 'Alloromantic'

Mean?

Characteristics of
Aromanticism
Everyone’s experience is unique, so feelings
about romance and relationships can vary
greatly among aromantic people. Some may
have diCerent desires and expectations for
physical and emotional intimacy. There is no
standardized deKnition of what constitutes
romance, so one person's deKnition may diCer
from someone else’s.

Some signs that you might be aromantic

include:

You don’t experience feelings of romantic

attraction.

You feel that you do not need a romantic

relationship to feel complete or fulKlled.

You don’t experience “crushes” or being

“in love” with someone else.

You have a hard time relating to romantic

stories.

Being aromantic doesn’t mean that you don’t

feel or experience love. You may experience
strong feelings of love for family and friends.
And research suggests that aromatic people
often still desire sex. [2]

Related: 'I Don't Want to Fall In Love': What

to Do If You Feel This Way

Aromanticism vs. Asexuality

Some aromantic people are asexual, but the
two are not synonymous. Asexuality involves a
lack of sexual interest or attraction. Some
asexual people may not desire sex but can still
want romance. And aromantic people may
desire sex but not romance. [3]

There is little research available on

aromanticism, and the distinctions between
romantic and sexual orientation are not fully
understood. People sometimes have di_culty
distinguishing between romantic and sexual
attraction because they are often so closely
intertwined, making studying the topic more
di_cult. [4]

Related: I Belong to the LGBTQ+ Community

Even If Others Disagree

Aromantic Spectrum
Both asexuality and aromanticism are part of
what is known as the asexual spectrum
identities. [5] While many aromantic people are
also asexual, people with various sexual
identities may also describe themselves as
aromantic. For example, a person may describe
themselves as an aromantic bisexual, an
aromantic lesbian, or an aromantic gay
man. [6]

Other identities on the aromantic spectrum

include: [5]

Advertisement

LO TIENES TODO
SUSCRÍBETE AHORA

AHORRA HASTA 33%*

.*Comparado con el plan mensual. Oferta disponible solo con pago anticipado de 12 meses.
© 2022 WarnerMedia Direct Latin America, LLC. Todos los derechos reservados. HBO Max se usa bajo licencia.

Advertisement

Gray-romantic or gray-sexual
gray-sexual: These
terms refer to individuals who fall
somewhere in the middle of aromantic
and romantic and asexual and sexual.
They may experience some romantic or
sexual feelings but only under certain
conditions.

Demiromantic or demisexual
demisexual: These
terms refer to people who only experience
romantic or sexual feelings with another
person after forming an emotional bond.

Lithromantic or akoiromantic :
These terms refer to people who may feel
romantic feelings toward other people but
do not wish for those feelings to be
returned. If those feelings are
reciprocated, the attraction fades.

Recipromantic or reciprosexual
reciprosexual: These
terms refer to individuals who only
experience a romantic or sexual attraction
if they know that the other person also
feels the same way.

Related: Glossary of Must-Know Sexual

Identity Terms

How Aromanticism Affects

Relationships
It is important to note that aromantic people
may still be involved in intimate or sexual
relationships. However, these relationships
may look diCerent from romantic
relationships.

Such partnerships may involve being in an

exclusive relationship, living together, showing
aCection, and having sex. Aromantic people
may get married, have children, and raise
families.

Motivations beyond romance, such as a

desire for family or children, are some
reasons why people might choose to
pursue a relationship.

Aromantic people may pursue

relationships to give or receive aCection
and care. A lack of romantic or sexual
interest does not mean that a person does
not want intimacy, commitment, or
emotional support.

They may develop relationships based on

shared interests, mutual respect, or
emotional closeness. However, such
relationships may be based on a more
familiar or platonic sense of love rather
than a romantic one.

Advertisement

Advertisement

Some aromantic people may enter what is

referred to as a queer-platonic partnership
or QPP. These partnerships are platonic in
nature but have the same degree of
commitment as a romantic partnership,
including cohabitating and making
decisions together. [5]

Challenges
Societal expectations can create challenges for
people who identify as aromantic. There is a
tremendous amount of societal pressure on
people to Knd a partner, commit, and have
children. People who don’t desire that are often
pressured to settle down, get married, and
have kids anyway. Those who don't are often
made to feel that there is something wrong
with them or that they are missing out.

Romantic content in popular media can also

sometimes present challenges for those who
are aro. While some aromatic people might
enjoy romance-centered movies, books, and tv
programming, others may feel indiCerent or
even repulsed by such depictions.

Amatonormativity
Amatonormativity is a term that has been
coined to describe society’s expectations
concerning romance. It has been used to
describe the pressure to Knd and prioritize
romance, marriage, and monogamy. [7]

Advertisement

Advertisement

Some researchers have suggested that

amatonormativity creates a social stigma
surrounding being single and can pressure
people into entering or staying in unhealthy
relationships. [8]

How to Support Someone

Who Is Aromantic
If you have a friend or loved one who is
aromantic, there are things that you can do to
be a supportive friend and ally:

Respect their romantic orientation

orientation:
You might not fully understand all of the
aspects of what it means to be aromantic,
but you should show respect for what they
feel. Listen to what they have to say and
ask what you can do to accommodate their
needs and show your support.

Don’t be dismissive
dismissive: Remember that
people understand themselves and their
own feelings better than you ever can.
Don’t dismiss what they feel or insist that
they’ll change how they feel. Don’t try to
push people into romantic situations they
are not interested in.

Don't make assumptions

assumptions: Avoid
common misconceptions about aromantic
people, such as the idea that they are cold
or simply haven't met the right person. Be
respectful if you have questions and be
aware that the individual may not want to
share. Ask if it is okay for you to ask
questions and learn more about them. [9]

Related: Strengthen Friendships With Good

Listening Skills

Caring for Yourself

Aromantic people often face stigma and
misconceptions about their romantic
orientation. Others sometimes think they are
not loving or that they will eventually change
and develop romantic relationships. Dealing
with these myths can sometimes make people
feel isolated or pressured to conform to other
people's expectations.

Get Help Now

We've tried, tested, and written unbiased
reviews of the best online therapy
programs including Talkspace, Betterhelp,
and Regain. Find out which option is the
best for you.

While you might not want romantic

relationships, having social support is
important for your mental health and well-
being. Focus on cultivating strong
relationships with other people outside of
romantic contexts. It is important to remember
that other forms of love are not any less
important than romantic love.

If you are aromantic, don’t feel pressured

to participate in romantic or sexual
situations you aren’t comfortable with.
Don’t force yourself to do things to meet
someone else’s expectations or because of
social pressure.

A Word From Verywell

While aromantics are often mistakenly viewed
as cold or prudish, it is important to remember
that people who identify as aro have diverse
feelings and experiences. Some may enjoy
physical intimacy, and some may not. Some
may want a commitment without the
expectations of a romantic relationship, while
others may prefer to have no romantic
relationships at all.

If you think you might be aromantic, it is

important to remember that you alone get to
decide how you feel and how to share those
feelings with others. For more resources and
information being aromantic, visit some of the
following resources:

AACE (Asexual & Aromantic Community

and Education) Club

Aromanticism FAQ from Aurea, the

Aromantic-spectrum Union for
Recognition, Education, and Advocacy

The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project

A Handbook for Coming Out: A resource

created by The Trevor Project to oCer
advice to LGBTQIA+ young people about
coming out.

If you are seeking support for issues with

coming out, relationships, bullying, self-
harm, and more, contact the LGBT
National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 for
one-to-one peer support.

For more mental health resources, see

our National Helpline Database.

Read Next: What to Do When You're

Questioning Your Sexuality

9 Sources

By Kendra Cherry
Kendra Cherry, MS, is an author and
educational consultant focused on
helping students learn about psychology.

See Our Editorial Process

Meet Our Review Board

Share Feedback

Related Articles

SEXUAL IDENTIT Y

What Does the Term

'Alloromantic' Mean?
Medically reviewed by Monica Johnson, PsyD

SEXUAL IDENTIT Y

What Is the Split Attraction

Model?
Medically reviewed by Monica Johnson, PsyD

Ad