~UNSEENPAI

N~ByThandoMkhi
ze

PROLOGUE

I
tstartedwiththewor dbestfri
end,thetruefr
iendIhaveev erhadinmywhol el
ife.Iam
unfort
unateofthosei nthi
sl i
feti
me, veryunf
ortunatethatIendedupwi thnofri
endsatal
l,
at
ti
mesIf eelli
keit'
sallmyf aul
tthatIloosepeopleli
kethisinmyl i
fe,Iam theonet obl
ameeven
foreveryeventthathappenedi nmyl i
feandstil
lhappens.Iam disturbedfrom mygrey
thoughtsbythepast orspeakinginf
rontofus.

Past
or:
"Inowpr
onouncey
ouhusbandandwi
fe,
youmayki
ssy
ourbr
ide"

Wet urnandl ookateachot herhol dinghands.Whowi l

lmaket hefirstmov e?Wehav enever
sharedaki ssbef ore, Ididn'
tthinkhewoul dshowup.I fIhadt hegut sIwoul dhaveranawayas
wellbuther ewear e.Mybestf riendsi ncechi l
dhood.Inev eri magi nedmy selfMarryi
ngAiza,
mom usedt ocal lhim Ay i
zeandi thasbecamehi ssecondnamesi ncewewer esmall.I
rememberusf antasizingourweddi ngsandhewasgonnabemymat ronandIwoul dbehisbest
man.That 'showmuchofaf ri
endshi pwehad.Wehav enev erseeneachot hersexuall
ybefore
orromant i
cally.Whywear egettingmar r
iedandi tdoesn' tmakeanysense, Deathisthe
reason.Hisf atherhasbeendi scov eredwi thTesticularcancerandsi ncethenhehasbeen
pressuri
nghi ssont oat l
eastgetmar r
ied.Hedoesn' tlikeBongi le,Aiza'sgirl
fr
iendof6mont hs
butwhat '
st hedifference? Hismot herdespi sesmesomuch.Whenheaskedmet odot hi
sf or
him becausei fhedi dn'thewoul dl ooseev ery
thing, whatwassupposedt obemynew
experi
encei nVar sitywi t
hboy sjustst oppedher etobei ngmar ried.Hei smyBest fr
iendandi
couldn'
tlethim down, evenifitmeanssacr if
ici
ngmyhappi nessf orhim.

Heholdsmycheekandl eansinmakingamov eandweshar eabr i

efkissandpeopleul ul
ate.
Wet ur
ntothem andMom i ssheddingafewtearshereandt here.It
'sli
kewewonal ot
tery,well
I
mightaswellsaythatbecauseAiza'
sfamil
yisveryweal t
hy.Hisf atherownsaTr uckbusi ness,
hi
struckstr
avelalloverSout
hAfricaandtwoPetrolstati
onssof ar.Thatmanhaswor kedhard
andIusedtonoticewhenwewer eyoungandwoul dtakeust ohiswor kplaceSomet i
meswhenI
vi
sit
.Myf at
her,hei sasecuri
tyguard.Mymot herisamai dattheBi yaseFamily,thef amil
yI
am marri
edintoandhaswor kedforyear
ssinceIwasv er
yyoung.That 'showIknowAi za.We
passbyBongilewhoi sweari
ngabi gwhit
ehatandsungl assesandIl ookaway.

_
__
Aiza:
"wewil
ldi
vor
ceafterdadi
sdeadt
henIgetall
thebusi
nessesandy
ougoandmar
ry
someoneel
seli
keyousaidyouhav
eanint
ereston.
..
..
."

Het
ri
est
othi
nk.

Me:
"Qhawe"

Ai
za:
"yes."

Qhawewasmyst
udymat
e.Wet
aket
hesameModul
esandIf
oundi
nter
esti
nhi
m andsoas
hi
mi nme.

Me:
"idon'
tknowany
thi
ngaboutmar
ri
age"

Ai
za:
"wewi
l
lbemar
ri
edonpaperandl
i
vei
nthesamehouse.Ther
estwej
ustdowhat
ever"

Isi
gh

Me:
"ok"

Henodded.Youcanseehehaswor
ryi
nhi
sey
esandIam j
ust,
Idon'
tknowwhatIam f
eel
i
ng

_
__

Wegetinthecarandhehel
psmeinsideandcl
osesthedoorandget
sintheot
hersi
de.His
phoner
ingsandhetakesi
tanswer
ing.Iam si
l
entandthi
nkinghowwil
lthi
sti
meout.Whatdi
d
Igetmysel
fint
o?

Ai
za:
"baba"

Thecarmov
esandt
her
eissi
l
ence.

Ai
za:
"shei
snextt
ome"

Iam al
armedt
hatt
heconv
ersat
ioni
saboutmenow.Ai
zahandst
hephonet
ome.

Ai
za:
"Hewant
stot
alkt
oyou"

It
aket
hephoneasmyhandsar
eshaki
ngandIputi
tonmyearandspoke.

Me:
"BabuBi
yase"

Baba:
"Sengi
yahambaMnt
anami
.Ngi
yabonga(Iam l
eav
ingnowmychi
l
dthanky
ou)
"

Me:
"baba"

Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
osay
.

Baba:
"takecar
eofhi
m.It
rusty
ouonl
ybecausey
ougr
ewupI
nfr
ontofme.Don'
t(hest
opst
o
br
eat
h)don'
tl
etmywi
febul
l
yyou"

Me:
yes"

Dad:
"pr
omi
semey
ouwi
l
ltakecar
eofeachot
her
.Iwi
l
lbl
essy
ouont
heot
hersi
de."

Me:
"ipr
omi
se"

Baba:
"good.By
emychi
l
d"

Me:
"By
e"

Afterthatitwassi l
ent.Igav ehi
m hisphonebackandhet ooki tandsighed.Wehav enev er
beent hissil
entorr anoutofsomethingtosaybef ore.Wegett ot herecepti
onandi t
's
beautifull
ydecorated.Wewentt othegar dent
ot akepictur
es.Mypar entswer ehappy, they
wer etheonl ypeoplewhower ehappyiftheyknewt hiswasn'tlovejustadeal t
heywoul dn'tbe.
Afterwewer edonewi ththephot
oswewenti nsi
deandsatdown.Speecheswer egetti
ngdone
whilepeopl ewer eeati
ngandIcouldn'tstomachany thi
ng.Thewaymymot herfeltpr
oudf or
mar ri
age.Iguesst heoldentimesofget t
ingmarriedisthebiggestachievementaswel l.Bongi l
e
stoodupandwentt ot
akethemicrophoneandr anherf i
ngersonherwhi t
ebodyhuggi ngdr ess.
Shei sv er
yslim andbeautif
ul.

Bongi
l
e:"Iwoul
dli
ket
ocongr
atul
ateMrandMr
sBi
yase"

Herf
acechangedwhenshel
ookedatme.

Bongi
l
e:"Hopey
oucoul
dwi
thst
andt
het
ornadoescomi
ngi
nyourmar
ri
age"

Iswal
l
owedandshegotof
fthest
age.

Ai
za:
"Don'
twor
ryabouther
."

Inodded.Thedaycommencedandwehadt oleaveatsomepoint.Isaidmygoodby estomy

motherandfather,
Zami
ledi
dn'tcomethr
oughandIam alit
tlehurtbythat.Wear esi
lentonce
againi
nthecarandwegettoAiza'
shouseandhehelpsmeout .Ithankthedriverandwewal k
i
nsidethehouseandIsi
tonthecouchandpul
l t
hedressupjusttotakeofftheseheels

Ai
za:
"letme"

Ist
opandhecr
ouchedandt
ookof
fmyshoesandIt
hankhi
m.

Ai
za:
"Itwi
l
lbeov
er"

Inodded.Hegotup.

Ai
za:
"Iam goi
ngt
oBongi
l
e'sf
lat
.Ineedt
osor
tthatout"

Me:
"whydi
dn'
tyoumar
ryheri
fyoul
oveher"
Ai
za:
"daddoesn'
tl
ikeher,
Iwoul
dn'
tgetany
thi
ng"

Me:
"If
eel
used"

Ai
za:
"heyIwoul
ddot
hesamef
ory
ou"

Me:
"Iwoul
dnev
erputy
oui
nthatposi
ti
onbecauseI
..
."

Tearsrol
l
eddownmyey
es.If
eel
hur
taswel
l,
myki
ndnessmywi
l
ltosayy
esi
stakenf
or
grant
edhere.

Ai
za:
"Si
za"

Het
ri
est
ocomecl
osebutIshakemyhead.

Me:
"pl
easel
eav
e,af
tert
hiswhol
ethi
ngIwantnot
hingt
odowi
thy
ou"

Ist
oodupandwal
kedupt
hest
air
s.

Ai
za:
"Si
za!"

I
gnor
edhi
m.I
tst
art
sher
e.

IAM SI
ZAKELEANDTHI
SISMYSTORY

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT1

Iwaswokenupinthemorni
ngbymyphoneri
ngi
ng.Iremovedt
hecover
sasIreachedbyt
he
bedsi
detogetmyphoneandit
'smymot
her.Isi
gh,Ir
eall
ydon'
twantt
otal
kbutwhatcanIdo?
Iansweri
t.

Me:
"Mah"

Mom :
"ohmybabyhowwasy
ourf
ir
stni
ght?"

Me:
"itwasok"
Al
onei
nthi
sbi
ghouse.

Mom :
"Zami
l
edi
dn'
tcomeIam sor
ry"

Me:
"noti
t'
sok"

If
akeasmi
l
ebehi
ndt
hescr
een.

Mom :
"letmet
alkt
oAy
ize"

Me:
"HeIst
il
lasl
eep."

Mom :
"Ishoul
dhav
eknownbyy
ourst
rongbondt
hatonedayy
ouwi
l
lgetmar
ri
ed"

Me:
"wewi
l
ltal
klat
ermom.Ineedt
ogo"

Mom :
"ok,
bye"

ShehungupandIbr eathedout .Igotof fthegiantbedandmademywayt obebat hr

oom and
di
dwhatIwant edt odo.Igotoutandmadet hebedbeforeIgotdressedandwal kedoutand
wentdownt hest air
s.Isatont hecouchi nthelounge.Iwasn'tf
eelinghungryandmyst omach
wasn'tt
hinkingofaccept inganyf oodasy et.Iopenedthetvandthenewscameon.Our
pi
cturesfrom yesterdaywer edisplayedThere.Howdi dtheygetl
eaked?Ihat et
hi sat
tenti
on.
Aizasaiditwon'tbepubl i
cdi spl
ay edhenceourweddi ngwassmal lbutwhati st
his?If eelangry
athimfordoi ngthistomebuthedi dn'
tputagunonmyheadandf or cedme.It akemyphone
abouttocallhim butQhawecal lsme.Myhear tskipsabeatandIam scar edandsweat i
ng,
whatwillIsay?Ihav ebeenav oidi
nghim sinceourseconddat e.Ishoul dfacehim andgett hi
s
overanddonewi t
h.Iansweri t

Qhawe:"soyouj
ustf
uckwi
thmel
i
ket
hat?
!It
houghtwehadsomet
hinggoi
ngonbutcl
ear
lyI
wasafool"

Me:
"canIexpl
ain?"

Qhawe:"t
hereisnoexpl
anat
ion,
it'
sal
lov
erandcl
earhowy
our
eal
l
yfel
taboutme.Yousawa
fool
.If
eell
ikeafool
Siza"

Me:
"Iam sor
ry"

Qhawe:"Idon'
twantt
otal
ktoy
ouany
mor
e,Idon'
tev
enwannacr
osspat
hswi
thy
ou.Youar
e
j
ustl
ikethesehoes"

Hehungupandt hedooropened.Ilookedhi
sdi
rect
ion,hest
il
lhasever
ythi
ngandIam l
oosi
ng
thepossi
bleper
sonwhowoul dhavelovedmeuncondi
ti
onal
ly
.Het hr
owshisblazeront
he
couchandhelooksl
ikehehadar oughnight
.

Ai
za:
"Si
za"
Hi
seyesarebl
oodshotr
ed.Hecomesandembracedmeinahugandhesobs.Iwasangr
yand
r
eadytogi
vehi
m apeaceofmymindbutheseemstobei
npai
n.

Ai
za:
"Ineedy
ouSi
za"

Me:
"Iam her
e"

Hesobsandmyshoul
deri
swet
.If
eel
li
kecr
yingwi
thhi
m.Ihat
etoseehi
m cr
y,t
heyst
artt
o
r
oll
downandwebothcry.

Ai
za:
"Hedi
edl
astni
ght
.Babadi
ed"

Mychestfeel
sasharppai
nandwebothcri
ed.WeendeduponthecouchandIam sobbi
ng
morethanhim,Babawasli
keaf
athertome.Hetreat
edmeli
kehi
schil
dsinceIhavemethi
m.
Ai
zaistheonlychi
l
dathomeandIfoundasecondfat
heri
nhi
m.

Me:
"Iam sor
ry"

Hesni
ff
sandwi
peshi
stear
sandcar
ri
esonembr
aci
ngmei
nhi
sar
ms.Igotof
fhi
m.

Me:
"Comel
et'
sgety
oucl
eant
henwegohome"

Henoddedandstumbledabitandwewal kedupthest
airs.Wegotinthemainbedroom andI
wenttoopentheshowerf
orhim whilehesatont
hetoil
etseat.Igottohi
m andstrippedhim,
helookedbr
okenandwedidn'texpecti
ttobethi
ssoon.Iopenedtheshowerdoorandt ookhi
s
hand.

Ai
za:
"Pl
easecomei
nwi
thme"

InoddedandIst
ri
ppedandwegotintoget
her.Hesatdownont
heshowerf
loorbur
yinghi
s
headbetweenhi
sthi
ghs.Isatdownaswell.

Me:
"hei
sinabet
terpl
ace"

Ai
za:
"it
'st
oosoon"

Ikeptqui
et.Yesi
t'
spai
nful
butIdon'
tknowhowher
eal
l
yfeel
sbecauset
hat
'shi
sbi
ologi
cal
parent
.

Me:
"Ishoul
dcal
lBongi
l
e"

Heshookhi
shead.

Ai
za:
"Nodon'
t"

Inodded.

Me:
"comet
henl
et'
sbat
hyou"
Istoodupandpulledhim up.Wet ookashowerandgotoutandgotdressed.Hetookhiscar
keysandwewal kedoutandwentt ohi
scarandgotinbeforehedrov
eof f
.Sowhatdoest his
mean?Ar ewegetti
ngdivorcednow?Thisisawasteoffamarri
agebutIwil
lkeepalloft
hatto
my sel
f.Wegettohi shomeandhepar ksthecar.WegetoutandIholdhishandreassur
ing
him Iam her
e.Hefaint
lysmi l
edandwewal kedi
n.Hismotherwascryi
nginMamDudu' sarms.

MamBi
yase:
"ohNkosi
yam (ohmyGod)
"

Ai
zar
ushedt
ohersi
deandr
ubbedherback.

MamBi
yase:
"Iwanthi
m backAi
za"

Ai
za:
"Shhhmah"

MamBi
yase:
"Idon'
twantt
hiswi
tchi
nmyhouse.Sheki
l
ledmyhusband"

MamDudu:
"cal
m down"

Ai
za:
"pl
easemakesomet
hingf
orhert
ocal
m down"

MamBi
yase:
"noti
nmyhouse!Noti
nmyhouse!"

Sheshout
ed.Igotf
ri
ght
ened.

Ai
za:
"Mah!Iwon'
tl
ety
out
alkt
oSi
zal
i
ket
hat"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lst
ayi
nthecar"

MamBi
yase:
"That
'smyson'
scary
our
ubbi
sh!"

Iwal
kedoutandt
ear
sst
reameddownmyf
ace.Iwi
pedt
hem andst
oodbyt
hecarasi
twas
l
ocked.

Ai
za:
"mydad'
sfami
l
yiscomi
ng."

Me:
"Iwi
l
lgohome"

Ai
za:
"Andst
ayal
onei
nthatbi
ghouse"

Me:
"Nomyhome.ImeanThembi
saAi
za,
Iwi
l
lbebackt
ohel
pher
easaf
ri
end"

Ai
za:
"Si
zaIneedy
ou"

Me:"Iam justgoi
nghomet
olety
ourmot
hercool
down.
iwi
l
lcomeandgi
vemysuppor
tbut
af
terIam done"

Il
i
ftedmyhands.

Ai
za:
"letmet
akey
ouhomet
hen"
Webothgoti
nthecarandhedr ov
eoff.Therewassi
l
encei
nthecar
.Il
ookedoutoft
he
wi
ndow.AsIhavesaid.Iam notforf
ri
endshi
ps.

Wegott
ohi
shouseandBongi
l
e'scari
spar
kedout
side.Wegetoutandshecomesourway
.

Bongi
l
e:"Babycanwet
alk?"

Ai
za:
"notnowBongi
l
eIneedt
otakeSi
zahomeandThengohome"

Bongi
l
e:"ohIsaw.Iam sor
ryabouty
ourf
ather"

Ai
za:
"thanky
ou"

Theyshar
eaper
kaswewal
kedi
nsi
de.

Me:
"Iwi
l
lbedowni
nasecond."

Bongi
l
e:"y
eshur
rypl
ease"

Irol
l
edmyeyesandwalkedupthestai
rs.Whydoesshefeelthr
eat
enedbymeany way?Igetin
thebedr
oom Iwasgoi
ngtouseandIjustt
akemysuitcase.Goodt
hingIdi
dn'
tunpack.Iwheel
i
toutandwalkdownthest
air
sandtheyareki
ssingal
lovereachother
.

Me:
"Iam done"

Bongi
l
e:"ohwegoty
ouacab.Justwai
tout
sideandi
twi
l
lseey
ou"

Me:
"okt
hanks"

Iwalkedoutofthehouse.NxIwanttobeatheronedaysoshewouldn'
tfor
getaboutme.Igot
outofthegateandIplacedmysuit
caseandsayonitwhil
ewait
ing.Itr
iedcal
li
ngZamil
ebutit
wenttovoicemail
.

Me:
"Zazai
t'
sSi
za.Weneedt
otal
k,wecan'
ti
gnor
eeachot
heral
lbecauseofaboypl
easet
alk
t
ome.Wearesi
bli
ngs"

Ihungupandsi ghed.Thecabarri
vedlaterandIgotinanditwasalr
eadypaidfort
hedri
vewas
smoothandi couldn'
twaitt
ogethome.Ij ustdon'
tknowhowt oexpl
ainal
lofthist
omyparent
s
,howi sol
dmy sel
ftosomeoneli
kethat.It'
sveryst
upidofme.Thecabar ri
vedathomeandI
getoffandt hankthedri
verandIrol
lmybagi nsi
deandIknockonthedoorbeforeopeni
ngand
mypar entsaredr i
nki
ngteatal
ki
ng.

Mom :
"Si
zakel
ewhyar
eyouher
e?"
Me:
"mom dad"

Dad:
"theypai
dfory
ou.Youshoul
dhav
ebeenaty
ourhouse.Youar
eaBi
yase"

Me:
"isZami
l
eher
e?"

Mom :
"no,
shehasn'
tcameback.Wher
eisAy
ize?
whodr
oppedy
ouher
e?"

Me:
"cab"

Iwal
ktomyr
oom andpl
acemybagont
hebedandmom i
sonmyt
ail
.

Mom :
"Il
oveyoubutt
hisi
sunaccept
abl
e,y
ouneedt
ogobackSi
zakel
e.Whatdi
dAy
izedo?
No.
..
no..
.no"

Me:
"thi
sismyhome"

Dademer
ged.

Dad:
"notany
mor
etheBi
yasef
ami
l
yisy
ourf
ami
l
y."

Mom :
"anddon'
tthi
nkaboutdi
vor
cepl
ease.Ther
eisnosuch"

Me:
"wow"

Isatont
hebeedef
eat
ed.Wher
eam Igonnago.?

Mom :
"youar
egoi
ngback!
"

Ikeptqui
et.

Dad:
"Si
zakel
e?"

Me:
"yesdad"

Mom :
"don'
tmakeusgocr
azy"

Theywalkedoutfol
l
owingeachother.Iburri
edmyheadonapil
lowandcri
ed.It
ookmyphone
andtr
iedQhawebutIwasi mmediatel
yreject
ed.Imessedupmyli
fe,
Ihav
ealwaysmessedup
mylif
ethoughitwasthebegi
ningofitIknowv er
ywell
.

Tobecont
inued
~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT2

[
3YEARSLATER]

Thesmil
eonhisfaceashewavedeverywher
ethroughtheaudiencewhilehewal
kedi
n.Iwas
emoti
onl
essasIwaswat chi
ngandbl
inki
ng,mymi ndwasn'tt
herebutIcoul
dseehi
minthat
bl
acksui
tandcri
spwhiteshi
twit
hnot i
e.Ipreparedthatoutf
itf
ortheday.

Host:
"Wel
comeAi
zaBi
yaset
oourshow,
wear
esogl
adt
oseey
ouandhav
eyouher
eatl
ast
."

Ai
za:
"atl
ast"

Theysatdownandhechuckl
edwhi
l
efi
xi
nghi
ssui
t.

Host:
"Wewereexpecti
ngMr
sBi
yasewi
thy
ou,
canwegi
vear
oundofappl
ausef
ort
he
beaut
if
ulwomansheis"

Myphot
oappear
edont
hest
udi
oscr
eenast
hecheer
sincr
eased.

Host:
"So,
ever
ywoman'
sdr
eam l
i
feandy
oubei
ngt
hedr
eam husband"

Hechuckl
edasev
ery
oneagr
eed.

Host:
"Howdi
dyoumeeteachot
her?"

Ai
za:
"wehaveknowneachot
hersi
nceshewas4andi
was9andwewer
ebestf
ri
endsbef
ore
wegotmar
ri
ed.Il
oveher"

Cr
owd:
"ncooh"

Hechuckl
ed.

Host:
"Wowt
hat
swonder
ful
,wewi
l
laskmor
equest
ionsabouty
oubot
hnextt
imebutwear
e
her
efory
ou"

Thet
vswi
tchedof
fandi
smel
thi
sscent
. Ihav
ebeensi
tt
ingher
esi
nce3am.

Ai
za:
"Si
zaIam sor
ry"

Tearsl
eftmyey
es,Ifel
tli
keIwasbei
ngchokedandIwant
edi
ttoend.Thephy
sical
pai
ndi
dn'
t
reacht
heemoti
onal
painIam feel
i
ng.
Ai
za:
"Idon'
tknow.
..Idon'
tknowwhyIam doi
ngt
hisandIam sor
ry"

Iwipemyt earsonmyswol
l
eney
eandhecomesandsi
tsnextt
omeont
hecouchandpul
l
sme
tohischest.Isob.

Ai
za:
"Iam sor
ryMamBi
yase"

Womenenv yme,t
heyenv yt
helifeIl
iv
e.Aweal
thyhusbandwhoshowsyoul
oveandall
the
goodintheworl
dbutiftheyknewIpayapri
ceforthat
.Mybodyandsoul
payfort
hat.Behi
nd
thatmasklaysamonsterIneverknew.

Ai
za:
"Iam sor
rybaby"

Heki
ssedmyf
oreheadandal
umpchokesmyt
hroat.I
t'
sbur
ning.

Ai
za:
"IknowwhatIdi
dlastni
ghtwaswr
ong"

Iremovedmysel
ffr
om hi
schestandhet
ouchedmyf
ace.If
li
nchedcl
osi
ngmyey
esandhe
touchedmyneckandhesi
ghed.

Ai
za:
"Youknowme.Ihav
enev
erbeenl
i
ket
hisbef
ore."

Me:
"It
'sok"

Ai
za:
"i
t'
snot
.Yournecki
spur
ple"

Me:
"Iwi
l
ldr
inkpai
nki
l
ler
sandgosoakmy
bodyi
nwar
m wat
er."

Ist
oodup.Thescreamsandthebreaki
ngofmat er
ial
shaunt
smymi nd.Iwalkupt
hestai
rs
sl
owlyandIgeti
nourbedr
oom andIsli
dedownassoonasIcl oset
hedoorandIcr
y.IwishI
cangohomebutIam goodashomeless.Ifeel
hurt.

★AI
ZA★

Isighedwhil
eburyi
ngmyheadbet weenmyhands.Idi dn'
tmeant olooseitl
astnight.Weare
supposedtobehappy, yeswedi dn'
tplanongetti
ngmar r
iedt
oeachot herbutaft
ershecame
backIknewwhatwasl yinginfr
ontofmewasal l t
hatIneeded.Thebusi nessesaregoingwell
andboomi ngaswell
.Siza'saccount
ingskil
l
shelpeduswhenweal mostlostmoneybecause
oneoft hepeopl
ewhowasi nmyf i
nanceteam i
nt heZIQUBU inc.waslaunder
ingmoneyf r
om
theaccountswit
houtnotice.NowIam mor ecarefulbecausewehav elostcl
osetot woMil
li
on
rands.Igetupandmyphoner i
ngs.It
'sThabani,Itakemyphoneandansweri t.

Thabani
:"Howar
eyou?Youl
eftsomberaf
terwest
art
edt
alki
ngaboutBaba"
Isuckedmybr
eat
hin.

Me:
"Imessedupagai
n"

Thabani
:"what?"

Me:
"I.
..
.Idi
dn'
tmeant
o"

Thabani:
"ThefuckAi
za!St
optreat
ingSi
zal
i
key
ourpunchi
ngbag,
Itol
dyout
orel
easesome
st
eam inthegy
m..Iam coming"

Me:
"Ij
ustBl
ackedout"

Thabani
:"Ther
eisnosuchasBl
acki
ngout!Bepr
epar
edbecausey
ouknowHl
ubi
isgonnaBeat
youup"

HehungupandIt
hrewmyphonei
nthewal
l
.

Me:
"Shi
t!"

Icl
osedmyey esbeforewal
kingupthestai
rs.Igoti
nourbedroom andshewassobbi nginthe
shower.Myheartbroke.It
urnedandwentoutthebathr
oom andIsatont hebedlayi
ngther
e.
Whatiswrongwi t
hme?Ishoul dn'
tbet
reati
ngSizal
i
kethis.Ican'
tlooseher,Idon'
tevenwant
tothi
nkaboutloosi
ngher.Shecomesoutinatowelandwentt otakesani
tarypadsandshe
worethem sni
ffi
ng.

Me:
"BabyIr
eal
l
yam sor
ry"

Shesni
ffsandgetsdressedandIseet
hepurpl
emarksonherbody.I
tdidn'
thel
pthatherski
nis
thewayitis.Iwentcl
osetoherandembr
acedherandshecr
ied.Tearspri
ckl
edmyey es.I
t
hurt
sseeingherli
kethi
s.

Me:
"Iam sor
ry."

Ihel
dher
.Sher
emov
edher
sel
f.

Si
ze:
"Ineedt
ogetdr
essed."

InoddedandIl
ethergoandshewentt
ogetdr
essed.Shecameoutdr
essedandgoti
nbed
andcover
edhersel
f.

★SI
ZA★
Iam hur t,Iam hurtthatIlostyetanotherchil
d.Irememberlastnightli
keit'
sanewmov ie.I
forgottothrowawayt hest i
cks.Ihaven'tbeenonmyper i
odsfor2mont hsandIsuspect edt hat
may beIam pr egnant.Ididthehomepr egnancyt
estand5camebackposi t
ive.Thefi
rstti
meI
didn'tknowIwaspr egnantunt i
lIwentunderschoolst
ressandalsot hi
smar riage,
mymot her
i
nl awt henIlostitfr
om that.Iwasdet er
minedtomaket hebestoutofthisoneandmay beAi za
willbetheol dAizaIknewbackt hen.TheoneIgrewupwi t
hbutIwaswr ong.

_
__[
LASTNI
GHT]
___
_

Hewal
kedi
nthr
ought
heki
tchenent
rance.IknewhewashomesoIwentt
opr
epar
esomef
ood
f
orhi
m.

Me:
"foodwi
l
lber
eadyi
nasecond."

Ai
za:
"whati
sthi
sSi
za?"

Hethrewthepr
egnancyt
est
sthatwer
einourbat
hroom bi
n.IknewIshoul
dhav
ethr
ownt
hem
out
side.

Me:
"B.
..
"

Ai
za:
"twol
i
ne?
"

Me:
",
Iam sor
ry.Idi
dn'
tmeant
ogetpr
egnant
."

Ai
za:
"Youwantt
oputt
hingi
nmyl
i
fel
i
kemyf
ather
.Thi
ngsIdon'
twant!
"

Hecamebymysi de.Myfavouri
tej
ugbrokeyest
erdayandmyneckwasbr
uisedandsoasmy
chestbutt
hat
'snott
heonl
ythingst
hat
'sbrui
sed.

_
__

Iam wokenupbypeopleshoutingandIsitup.Icanf eel

mypadisf ul
lsoIgoandchangeand
outt
womor e.Cl
otsarecomi ngoutal
ot.Iwearsl i
ppersandgodownt hest
air
sandit'
sHlubi
andThabani.Hi
sclosestcousins.Hlubi
isv er
yint
imidat
ingandThabanii
stheopposi
te.

Thabani
:"ohmyGody
ourneck"

Hecomescl
oseandHl ubiswingst
hef
ir
stf
istt
oAi
za.Tear
sleav
emyey
es.Asmuchashehur
t
mebuthedoesn'
tdeserveit
.

Me:
"Bhut
ipl
easef
orgi
vehi
m"

Hl
ubi
:"heneedst
ofeel
whaty
ouf
eltwhenhel
aidhi
shandony
ou.Whot
aughty
ousuchAi
za!
?
"

Hebeat
shi
m up.

Me:
"st
oppl
ease"

Hest
opsandAi
zai
scoughi
ngbl
ood,
Iwentt
ohi
m andcheckedhi
m.

Ai
za:
"Iam ok"

Hecoughed.

Hl
ubi
:"Iam notdonewi
thy
ou"

Ihel
dmyst
omachasIf
eltashar
ppai
n.

Thabani
:"y
ouhav
ebl
oodSi
za"

Il
ookeddownandmypant
swer
esoakedi
nbl
ood.Ij
ustwentonmykneeshol
dingmyt
orso
andcri
ed.

Ai
za:
"let
'st
akey
out
othehospi
tal
wedon'
twantt
olooset
hebaby"

Ishakemyhead.

Me:
"it
'sgone.Theshyusgone."

Ther
ewassi
l
enceb.Hecr
ouchednextt
ome.

Ai
za:
"Ba.
.b"

Icr
iedal
otandThabanipi
ckedmeupandt ookmeupt hestai
rs.Iwenttot
hebathroom and
gotint
heshowerandIcri
ed.Icr
iedthatIf
eltli
keakni
fewasstabbedinmyheart.Itwas
pai
nful
.It
'spai
nful
.Icl
osedmyey esandletthewat
erbecomeonewi t
hmyt ear
s.

Iwokeupwhent heshowerdooropenedandt
hewat erwascl
osed.I
twascl
osed.Ifl
ooked
darkandIwaspickedupandhewentoutandplacedmeont hebed.HegotmedressedandI
sanit
arypadsf
ortheremai
ningbl
ood.Hekeptcl
eari
nghisthroat
.

Ai
za:
"it
'smyf
aul
t"

Ikeptqui
et.Igoti
nbedandcov
eredmy
sel
fandIshedaf
ewt
ear
s.Hegoti
nbehi
ndmeand
pull
edmet ohimsel
f.
Ai
za:
"Iam sor
rySi
zaIwi
l
ltr
yandbeabet
terhusbandf
rom nowon.Ipr
omi
sey
ou.Iwi
l
lbet
he
ol
dAi
za."

Heki
ssedmyf
orehead.

Ai
za:
"il
ovey
ou"

Heki
ssesmycheekandIcar
ryoncr
ying.

Me:
"ithur
tsAi
zaandy
ouwon'
tunder
stand,
youwon'
t.
..
"

Hepul
l
edmecl
oser
.

Ai
za:
"Iam sor
rybaby
.Iwi
l
lbebet
terf
orus.Iwi
l
l.
"

Ikeptqui
etandsobbed.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT3

★AI
ZA★

IwokeupandIwentt omakebr eakf

astforSizawhi l
esheisstil
lasleep.Ial sobookedan
appoint mentat10h45t otheDr.Somet hingi nmehopest hebabyi sstill
therebutwi thher
bleedingandhergoi ngt ochangeandstayint hebathroom al
otjusttoldmeIam bei ngi ndeniel
.
Ikil
ledmyownchi l
dandwhatki ndofpersont hatmakesme.If i
nishmaki ngbr eakfast.Iam
notgoi nginatworkt oday,theywill
havetof uncti
onwi t
houtmebei ngt here.ImadeanEngl ish
breakfastforher.Iknowhowmuchshel ovedi twithpancakesont hesidebackwhenwewer e
Kids.ThoughIhav eal waysbeen5y ear
sol derthanherbutweshar edanunexpl ainablebond
together.Iwi pedmyhandsandIwentt osett hetabl
eup, Thankhermot herforteachingme
howtocookbecausemymotherdoesn'
tev
enknowhowt otur
nastoveon.Ithenwal
kedup
thestai
rsandIgoti
nandt
hebedli
nenhasbeenchanged.Ihearwat
errunni
ngandIwal
kto
thebathr
oom andshei
sspl
ashi
ngwateronherbody
.

Me:
"Goodmor
ning"

Shet
urnst
ome.Herey
eshav
eey
ebags.Herswol
l
eney
ewasget
ti
ngbet
terbutst
il
lcl
osed.

Si
za:
"Mor
ning"

Shet
urnedbackt
owhatshewasbusywi
th.

Me:
"Wear
egoi
ngt
otheDr
.Ihav
eal
readymadeanappoi
ntment"

Shenodded.Ibitmyl
ipandt
urnedwal
ki
ngout
.Myphoner
angandIt
ooki
tout
.Itwas
Bongi
le.Ianswer
ed.

Bongi
l
e:"Baby"

Me:
"Bongi
l
e"

Bongi
l
e:"howar
eyou?Iam nothappy"

Me:
"Wi
th?"

Bongi
l
e:"Myr
ing"

Me:
"Canwet
alkaboutt
hisl
ater?"

Bongi
l
e:"Iwi
l
lcomet
hrough"

Me:
"(si
gh)Sur
e"

Ihungupandshegotoutoft het ubandshewi pedher

sel
fandcamet othebedroom.Shetook
outjeansandatopandgotdr essedwithheelsandadeni
mj acket
.Shesatinfr
ontofthemirr
or
andt ookhermakeupbagandshet henputmakeupf r
om hernecktohercase.Iswal
lowed
watchinghercoverwhatIdi
dt oher,cover
ingwhatgoesdowni nourmarr
iagewhenwear enot
i
nt heeyesofthepubli
c.

Me:
"'
Siza"

Shest
oppeddoi
nghermakeup.

Me:
"IPr
omi
se"

Si
za:
"Ial
soPr
omi
sed.Iwi
shIdi
dn'
t"

Shecar
ri
edondoi
ngherface.Iwonderwhatshemeansbutt
hewayshesaidi
thadsomuch
wei
ght.Shet
hent
ookthewigandputitonherheadandshebrushedi
tandmadei
tlookni
ce.
Me:
"Imadebr
eakf
asti
ncl
udi
ngpancakes"

Si
za:
"Iam nothungr
y"

Me:
"youneedt
oeat"

Shebr
ushedherwi
g.

Si
za:
"Iwonderi
fBongi
l
efeel
sthesamepai
n"

Iswall
owedandshest
oodupwhenshewasdoneandspray
edsomeper
fumeonherbodyand
tookherbag.Shet
ookther
ingf
rom t
hej
ewel
eryboxandsl
idi
tsl
owl
yandshet
urnedt
ome.

Si
za:
"Youwi
l
lfi
ndmei
nthecar"

Shewal
kedout
.Iwat
chedherwal
koutoft
hedoor
.

★SI
ZA★

Iwalkedoutofthehouse.Iwasn' tfeel
i
nghurtandsorr
yformyselfonl
ybutIwasangr ythatI
am let
ti
ngallofthi
shappenallbecauseIdon'tknowwhereIwil
lgo.Ipressthebuttononthe
remoteandthecarfli
cker
sit'
slightsandIopenandIgetinsi
de.Hecomesoutaf tersometime
changedandopenst hedoorandhopei nsi
de.Idon'tl
ookathim orhi
sdirect
ion.

Ai
za:
"canIhav
ethecarkey
s?"

Igavethem t
ohim andhet ookthem andstart
edt hecaranddr i
vesof f
.Heclearshisthroats
andheknowsIam aboutt obeirrit
atedandheist ry
ingtohumbl ehimself.Il
ookathi m, Ididn'
t
meant ocal
lforhi
m andforthattohappeni sbecausewel etit
.Itwaswonder fulandhewas
alsogoingt
oleaveBongil
ebutdi dthathappen?Not hegir
lisl
ikeabubbl egum stuckonahot
roadandAizasteppedonandwon' tcomeof f.Whatt i
cksheroffisthatIgett
hespot li
ghtas
thewifeandshetri
estofi
ghtforitinpubli
candsoci almediasjustsoit'
sknownwhatr elat
es
hertoAiza.Iam ti
redofthosefightsandtheyseem pet t
y.HetakesmyhandandIl ethi
m be.

Ai
za:
"Bongi
l
ewant
stocomeov
er"

Ir
emov
emyhandf
rom hi
sandl
ookoutt
hewi
ndow.

Ai
za:
"Baby"

Me:
"Iam cl
ear
lyaj
okeev
ery
wher
eIgo"
Ai
za:
"don'
tsayt
hatSi
za"

It
urnt
ohi
m.

Me:"whatdoyouwantmetosay?Whyarewestil
ldoi
ngthi
s?Youwantmetobehappyabout
t
his?Actual
l
yIam t
ir
edAi
zaIreal
l
yam andyest
erdaywasthel
astst
raw ,
Iam done"

It
ookof
fmyr
ingandt
hrewi
tathi
slap.

Me:
"pul
lov
er"

Ai
za:
"Si
zal
et'
stal
k"

Me:
"Tal
kaboutwhat?Thewayy
oubeatBongi
l
eli
keme?Youki
l
ledmybabyAi
za"

Isobbedandhepull
edover.Iopenedt
hedoorandgotoutandhegotoutaswel
l
.Icar
ri
edon
walki
ngbuthecaughtuptomeandheembr acedme.

Ai
za:
"Iam aj
erkIknowbaby
.Il
ovey
ouandi
thur
tsIki
l
ledourchi
l
d.I
thur
tst
hatIhur
tyou"

Me:
"st
opl
yi
ng,
justst
op"

Ai
za:
"Pl
easegi
vemeachanceagai
n.Iwi
l
ltr
yri
ghtmywr
ongs.Pl
easeZaza"

Ikeptqui
et.Ihat
ehowIam f
orgi
vi
ng.Ihat
ethatIwantt
ofor
giv
ehi
m att
hismoment
.

Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
ouandIam sor
ry"

Inoddedandheremov
edt
hehai
rfr
om myf
aceandki
ssedmyl
i
ps.Ir
espondedt
ohi
ski
ssas
well,
hebrokei
t.

Ai
za:
"achance"

Inoddedandsni
ff
ed.

Ai
za:
"thanky
ou"

Hi
sphoner
angandhei
gnor
edi
t.

Ai
za:
"comel
et'
sgo"

Wewentbackt
othecarandgoti
nbef
orehedr
oveof
ftot
heDr
.

★BONGI
LE★
Iam BongileKhanyi
le, ImetAizathroughFunandIlovehim somuch.Hei samanev eryone
dreamsof fandenvyt ohav ewhichIhave.Iam hi
sf i
anceandhepr oposedtwoy earsago, I
havebeent ryi
ngtogetpr egnantsowecanspeedupt obei
ngmar r
iedbecauseSizai staki
ng
whatissupposedt obemi ne.Thegameandspot l
ightandspotonBr i
demagazinet hatIwant.
Everyt
hingandshei snott hatbeaut
iful
even.Itur
nt omyrightandmyf ri
endLi
ndi turnstome
taki
ngof fhersunglasses.

Li
ndi
:"Howi
shubby?
"

Me:
"ar
ghal
way
swi
tht
hatmansnat
cherofhi
s"

Shet
ookasi
pofherwi
neandsatuponherchai
r.

Li
ndi
:"howi
stheget
ti
ngpr
egnantgoi
ng?"

Me:
"Iwentt
otheDry
est
erday,
thoseabor
ti
onsdi
dthi
ngst
omywomb"

Li
ndi
:"t
her
ehast
obesomet
hingdonet
hough"

Me:
"Idon'
tknow"

Li
ndi
:"i
magi
net
hishousegonet
hispool
gone,
wher
ewi
l
lwesunbat
he?"

Me:
"don'
tev
engetmet
hinki
ng.Iwi
l
lcomeupwi
thapl
an."

Li
ndi
:"y
oubet
ter"

Shel
aiddown.Idr
ankmywi
ne.Ineedt
ogoandseeMom ,
may
beshewi
l
lhav
eapl
an.

★ZAMI
LE★

"
Zama!
"

Me:
"what?"

Thehotki
tchenatt
hebackofsteer
shasmei nsweatandit
sahotdaytoaddont hataswel
l.I
peakmyheadandCeli
wepointsatthetvt
hat'
satt
hemi ddl
eoft
hefranchi
se.Si
zaappears
walki
ngwi
thAizaandmymoodj ustgoesdown.

Me:
"mxm"

Cel
i
we:
"yoursi
steri
sver
ylucky"
Me:
"Nx."

Iwalkedtothebackandcar r i
edonwor king.IhateSiza.Si ncewewer eyoungIalwayshada
crushonAizaandt ri
edmyl ev elbestforhi mt onoticeme.Wel lwedi dki
sswhenwewer e17.
AizaandIarethesameage.Iam 32y ear soldandSi zais5y earsyoungerthanme.She.She
start
edgrowingandt heybecamecl oseIwasj eal
ousandhat est art
edtherebecausehewould
doany t
hingforher,wheni t
'sSizakslehewoul ddropany thing.Ir ememberonceIt al
kedbad
aboutSizatohim andhet hreatenedt hatIshoul dnev erdot hatagainortherewillbe
consequences,whenIhear dt heywer eget t
ingmar ri
edSizai nv i
tedmebutIdecl i
ned.Iwon'
tgo
fakebeinghappyforthathypocr i
te, nev er!

"St
opf
ight
ingwi
tht
hef
ood.Or
der#25needsl
argef
ri
es"

Me:
"comi
ngr
ightup"

Igetonworki
ng.Ihat
eSi
za.If
eel
li
kehunt
ingherandst
rangl
i
nghert
odeat
hthenIwi
l
lbe
peacef
ul.

★SI
ZA★

WegottotheDranditwasconf
ir
medthatIwasn'
tpregnantanymore.I
tfel
tsofr
eshandit'
s
l
ikesal
twasrubbedonmywound.Iaskedforaninj
ecti
on.Idon'
twanttogetpr
egnantany
time
soonandhegaveitt
ome.Wewal kedoutaf
tert
hatandwentt othecar
.Wegotinandhedr ov
e
off
.

Me:
"Iam goi
nghomet
hisweekend"

Hel
ooksatme.

Me:
"Iam notl
eav
ing,
it'
snotl
i
key
ouwoul
dletme"

Ai
za:
"youmakemesoundl
i
keamonst
er"

MeIi
dontknowwhaty
ouar
enow"

Ai
za:
"Dad'
sdeat
haf
fect
edme"

Me:"Iam notbei
nginsensi
ti
veaboutwhatIwil
lsaybutyoudon'
tseemedoi
ngt
heshi
tyouar
e
doi
ngtoyou.Ilostt
woki dsandfel
tandsti
l
lfeelt
hepain."
Ai
za:
"theyar
est
il
lmyki
dsaswel
l"

Me:
"wow"

Icl
apmyhands.

Ai
za:
"nowy
ouar
ebei
ngi
mmat
ure"

Me:
"ai
n'
tI?"

Webot
hkeptqui
et.

Ai
za:
"Iam sor
rySi
zabutst
opt
ryi
ngt
opi
nmeev
eryt
ime.Iam t
ryi
ng"

Me:
"youneedt
ost
epupy
ourgamebecauset
hisi
snoti
t."

Hekeptquiet
.Ial
sodi dt
hesame.WegothomeandIwentt omakeasandwi chandt ookoff
myshoes.Iwenttocookwhilehewenttocoophi msel
finhi
sstudy.IfIcouldjusttakethi
s
kni
feandstabhim butIl
ovehim.Isi
ghandholdont ot
hecounter.Thedoorbel lr
ingsandIgo
andopenandBongi l
ecomesinwithhersui
tcaseandshetakesoffherglasses.Ilookoutsi
de
andforsur
ethatAMGwasboughtbyhi m.Nxi fIdi
dn'
tmarr
yhim shewoul dn'tbedrivi
ngit
.

Bongi
l
e:"y
ou"

Me:
"youdon'
tent
erl
i
ket
hati
nmyhouse"

Bongi
l
e:"
Aizaboughti
t"

Me:
"Nx"

Iwal
kedof
fandwentt
othest
udyandknocked."
Comei
n"wasshout
edandIwal
kedi
n.He
l
if
tedhi
shead.

Me:
"yourNonkr
oyi
sher
e(y
ourt
rampi
sher
e)"

Ai
za:
"Si
za"

Iwalkedoutandhefoll
owedaf
ter
.Bongi
l
ehasmadeher
sel
fcomf
ort
abl
e.Shej
umpedoutof
thecouchandIlookedatAi
za.

Ai
za:
"Si
za"

Me:
"Si
zakel
eisl
i
ma(Si
zakel
eisaf
ool
)"

Bongi
l
e:"t
rue"

Me:
'Nx"

Ai
za:
"Bongi
l
erespecther
.Iwon'
ttol
erat
ethatatal
lunder
stood?
"
Bongi
l
e:"butbabe"

Hegav
eheradeat
hst
are.Iwal
kedupt
hest
air
s.Ican'
tst
andt
his.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT4

Iwalkedi
nthemainbedroom andIwentt
othebathroom andt
ookapiss.Af
terIwasdonei
washedmyhandsandi walkedoutandhewassit
tingonthebed.Iwenttot
akeabookandI
passedhi
m buthehel
dmyar m.

Ai
za:
"Si
za"

Me:
"pl
easel
etgo"

Ai
za:
"Iwi
l
lchaseherout"

Me:
"yousai
dthaty
ear
sago"

Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
oubot
h"

Me:
"li
fei
sni
cef
ory
ouandunf
airf
orus"

Ai
za:
"Don'
tsayt
hat"

Me:
"act
ual
l
yIam angr
yaty
ousoangr
yatmy
sel
ftoo."

Ai
za:
"cal
m down"

Me:
"Iam goi
nghome"

Iwenttothecl
osetandtookmysmall
bagandpackedwhatIneedandworeajerseyandthenI
wentoutofthecl
oset.Iwentt
oopenthedoorandi
t'
slocked.Hecameoutoft
hebathroom.
Myhear twasbeat i
ngfast.Whatwi
ll
hedonext?Ilookedathimthenthecl
osetdoorandran
foritbuthegotmef astandpull
edme.Idroppedmybagsandputmyar msinfr
ontofmyself
toshieldmyselfandhejusthuggedme. Iwasshakingandtear
slef
tmyey es.Icoul
dn'
t
breathproper
ly.Hewhi speredi
nmyear
.

Ai
za:
"br
eat
h"

It
ri
edt
obr
eat
h.

Ai
za:
"Don'
tl
eav
eme.Iwi
l
ldoany
thi
ngj
ustdon'
tl
eav
eme"

Hesoundedbr
oken. Hebr
ushedmyweav
e.

Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
ouSi
za."

Ist
art
edt
orel
ax.

Ai
za:
"iwi
l
lbr
eakt
hingsof
fandIam ser
ioust
hist
ime"

It
ookdeepbr
eat
hsandhebr
oket
hehugandhel
dmyf
aceandl
ookedatme.

Ai
za:
"Ok?
"

Inodded.

Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
ouandIwon'
thur
tyouagai
n.Iam sor
ry"

Inoddedwi
tht
ear
sst
reami
ngdownmycheeks.

Ai
za:
"Iam sor
ry"

Hewi
pedmytear
swithhi
sbigthumbsandkissedmyli
psandIr
espondedt
ohi
m,hepi
cked
meupandl
aidmeinbedandtuckedmeinbeforeki
ssi
ngmyfor
ehead.

Ai
za:
"Iam get
ti
ngr
idofher"

Hewalkedtothedoorandopenedi
t.Igotoffthebedandwenttot
akemyphone.Ihav
en'
t
hear
dfrom mom inalongt
imesoIcallherandsheanswer
saftert
hreer
ings.

Mom :
"Hel
l
o"

Icl
eart
hel
umpi
nmyt
hroat.

Me:
"Hel
l
oMah"

Mom :
"ohSi
zakel
emychi
l
d.Unj
ani
umkhweny
ana?
(howi
smysoni
nlaw?
)"

Iswal
l
owedal
ump.Myv
oicewasShakey
.
Me:
"Ur
it
e(hei
sok)
"

Iwi
pemyt
ear
s.

Mom :
"youar
ever
yluckyaf
tery
oul
osty
ourBur
sar
yyougotamanwhowi
l
ltakecar
eofy
ou"

Me:
"howi
sdad?"

Mom :
"ohhei
sfi
ne.St
il
lgr
owi
ngol
d."

Me:
"Zami
l
e?"

Mom :
"Shei
sst
il
lthesamegr
umpysel
f"

Me:
"ohsendmyr
egar
ds"

Mom :
"Iwi
l
l.Youshoul
dvi
sitaswel
l
."

Me:
"Iwi
l
l."

Mom :
"Rememberwhatev
ersi
tuat
iony
ouar
einy
ourmar
ri
ageKuy
abekezel
waNt
ombi
(you
wai
tpat
ient
ly)
"

Me:
"yesmah,
Ihav
etogo"

Mom :
"okby
e"

Me:
"by
e"

Ihungupandsighed.Ther
eisnowordIhat
ethanBekezel
a.If
eell
ikehangi
ngmysel
fwhenI
hearthatwordf
rom mom.Ilookatt
hebagsIdroppedbef
oreIgotofft
hebedandwentt
oput
them away.

★BONGI
LE★

Mmmhshecancook.Idi shedupformy selfsincetheMrswentupt hestair

s.Shewon'tbethe
onlyonewhohasev er
ythi
ng.Isi
tont hehighchai randt
akesomepi ctur
esofmy sel
fandl
oad
them onI
nst
agram andcomment sstartst
of loodin.Nowt hat'
swhatIlike.Itakeaspoonful
l
offoodandIputi
nmymout h.Ihearf oot
stepsandAi zawalksin.

Me:
"BabyIam aboutt
odoaLi
vev
ideoonI
nst
agr
am doy
ouwantt
ojoi
nin?"

Henev
erwant
stodot
hingspubl
i
clywi
thme.Al
way
shasanexcuse.
Ai
za:
"Iwanty
out
oleav
e"

Me:
"hai
bowhy,
il
omf
azi
wakhof
uthi
?(I
t'
syourwi
feagai
n?)
"

Ai
za:
"Don'
ttal
kaboutSi
zal
i
ket
hatandwear
edone.Iam t
aki
ngev
ery
thi
ngt
hat
'smi
ne"

Ichokedont
her
ice.

Me:
"what?No!Igother
efi
rstnoty
ourchi
l
dhoodbest
fri
end!
"

Ibangedt
het
abl
e.

Ai
za:
"Ey
iVoet
sekoutofmyhouseBongi
l
eit
'sov
ergi
vememycarkey
s"

Me:
"Lesi
sfebengi
zosi
bamba(t
hatBi
tchIwi
l
lgether)
"

Igotofthehighchairandhebacksl
appedmeandmycheekwasthrobbi
ng,If
ell
backholdi
ng
thecounterandtheplatewentt
othefl
oor
.Hepull
edmyhair
.Ihavenever,
everbeenhandl
ed
byAizali
kethisbefore.

Ai
za:
"whoar
eyoucal
l
ingabi
tch?
!"

Hesl
appedmeagainandIf
ell
ont hefl
oorscar
edandhet
ookof
fhi
sGucci
bel
tandhewhi
pped
mesohardIcoul
dfeel
ever
ystroke.

Me:
"Hel
p!Hel
p!"

Ai
za:
"Fucky
ouBongi
l
e!"

"Ai
zast
opst
ophi
tt
ingher"

Shestoodbyt hestai
rsi
nherpy j
amas.Mybodywassor eandIwascr
y i
ng.Hestoppedand
tur
nedtoherandwal kedtowardsherandsheranupthestai
rs.It
ri
edtogetupashewalked
aft
erher.Iwipebloodfrom mymouthasIbitt
enmy sel
finsi
dewhil
eheslappedme.Theway
sheran,i
sthi
swhathedoest oher?Nohedidt hi
stomebecauseofher.Ihateherwi
thso
muchpassion.

Me:
"Iam gonnagety
ouSi
za"

★ZAMI
LE★

Igothomeandmyparent
swerewatchi
ngsomeTV.Mom doesn'
twor
kany
mor
esheonl
y
pensi
onsanddadst
il
lwantst
owork.
Mom :
"ohy
ouar
eback"

Me:
"yeah"

Mom :
"Si
zacal
l
edandshesendsherr
egar
ds"

Me:
"Nx"

Iwal
kedt
omyr
oom.

Mom:
"what
'swr
ong?"

Ii
gnor
edher
.Sheshoul
dkeepherr
egar
dsbecauseIdon'
twantt
hem.

★AI
ZA★

Ir
anaf
terherandshecl
osedt
hedoorandIknocked.

Me:
"Si
za"

Icoul
dhearhersni
ff
.

Me:
"Iwon'
tdoany
thi
ngIpr
omi
se"

Shewassi
l
ent
.Isi
ghedandsatout
sidet
hedoor
.Icl
osedmyey
esl
eani
ngmyheadont
he
door
.

★BONGI
LE★

Li
ndi
:"y
ohchomi
!"

ShegaspsandIt
rytoputapi
l
lowbehi
ndmyback.Ai
zagotsomeonet
odr
ivemehomeandhe
i
staki
ngevery
thi
ng.Event
hehouseev
ery
thi
ng.

Me:
"hei
sleav
ingmef
ri
end.Forhi
swi
fe"

Li
ndi
:"sowhatnow?"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"

Ist
il
lwantandl
ovehi
m ev
enaf
tert
his.

Li
ndi
:"r
ecov
erf
ir
stt
henwewi
l
ltal
k"

Me:
"Ican'
tl
ooset
hisatal
l"

Li
ndi
:"andy
ouwon'
t.Youknowwhat?"

Me:
"yeah?"

Li
ndi
:"j
ustt
akespr
egnancy"

Me:
"that
'snotbad"

Li
ndi
:"wheny
ouhav
esecur
edhi
m enoughy
oupul
lthemi
scar
ri
agecar
d"

Me:
"Il
i
key
ourt
hinki
ng"

Li
ndi
:"Iam her
efory
ou"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Ir
est
edmyhead.Il
ovemyf
ri
endshame.

★SI
ZA★

seei
nghim hi
therli
kethatl
astni
ghtreal
lybr
oughtbackbadmemor i
es.Hewon' tchange.I
t'
s
j
ustamatterofti
meIleavewithacoffi
n.IwokeupandIr ememberIlockedhi
m out.Iwentto
fr
eshenupandtodaymyhai r
styl
i
stiscomingtogetmyhairdone.I
t'
sneededreall
y.Iopenthe
doorandheisnotther
e.Therei
sanot eonthedoor.

*
*Iam sor
ryaboutlastni
ght,t
hest
yli
stwi
l
lcomeear
lyt
odaydon'
tfor
gett
ocomet
owor
kfor
t
hewel
comi ng,si
gnA. Bi
yase*
*

Icr
ushedthenot
esi
ghi
ngandIwentt
otheki
tchen.I
t'
scl
eanandIhearmov
ementandIsee
maGrace.

Me:
"hel
l
omah"

MaGr
ace:
"howar
eyou?"
Me:
"Iam wel
l
.It
houghty
ouwer
ecomi
ngI
nMonday"

MaGr
ace:
"MrBi
yasecal
l
edmei
ntoday
."

Me:
"oh"

Thedoorbel
lrangandIwentt
oat
tendi
tandi
twasmyst
yli
sh.

Me:
"uhm Jessy"

Hepul
l
smei
naai
rki
ssandt
hencal
l
shi
scr
ewi
n.Hecl
i
ckshi
sweav
eandr
unshi
sfi
nger
s.

Jessy:"oouhoekwenzenjani?Wanjenamanj
ebat
hini
abant
u(ouuhwhat
swr
ong?Whyar
e
youli
ket hi
s,whatwi
llpeoplesay)
"

Me:
it'
snotbad"

Jessy:
"it
'sbad.Let
'sgo.MaGot
hingeMoëtl
aphosi
hlabei
mphi
mbo(MaGbr
ingsomeMoët
towetourthr
oats)"

MaGr
ace:
"yessi
r"

Shewalksoff.Wegot oourusual room andIwearagownandt heysetup.MaGracebri

ngs
wantweneedandwet hankher.Icoul dseewi thmyey e.It
'sj
ustit
'sbl
ack.Nowit'
sjustJessy
andme.Shor tforJason, hewantedi tli
ket hat
.Helovestogossipbutalsosecr
etiv
easwel l.
HeisthepersonIgetal ongwit
hasmyst yli
st.Mynail
sar edoneandper f
ectf
orAiza'
simage.
Jessyappl
i
est heweav eandhest artstot akeasipoffhisMoët.

Jessy:
"hest
art
edagai
n?"

Ikeptqui
et.

Jessy:"yaziSizakeleAv engidabukamangi zakwakhoorngobangi kuf

icaumabokoboko
amapopoendodeni enhlekanjenayaziungamphi kel
akodwaBuka.Umuhl eandawufebi,
awusiyonaleyot ypemhl ampeMi nanj eangangiboxerkodwawenaChanj eangi
thandi(
You
knowSi zakel
eIam al way sheartbrokenwhenIcomet oy ourhousebecauseIalwaysfi
ndyou
boxedandev er y
thingfrom amant hatissohandsome, youwoul devendenyiti
fyouheardfr
om
anotherpersont hathedoessuchbutl ook.Youar ebeautif
ulandyoudon'thoe,youarenot
thatty
pemay behecanboxmebutIdon' tl
ikethis)"

Me:
"impi
l
o(i
t'
sli
fe)
"

It
akeasi
pof
fmydr
ink.

Jessy:
"wheny
ouguy
sappearont
vorony
oursoci
almedi
asweenv
ybutbehi
ndcl
oseddoor
s"

Hecl
appedhi
shandsandt
urnedmear
ound.
Jessy:"runaway,nomatterhowri
chandhandsomehei sorhewill
bur yyoui
naexpensi
ve
casketwithaweaveandmoetMar ayourl
i
feisnotrepl
aceabl
eormul t
ipli
edli
ket
hesemater
ial
s.
GBVi srealandy
ouareli
vi
ngi t
.Youwantt
obeast ati
sti
corsurv
ivor
?"

Tear
slef
tmyey
es.

Me:
"kodwaJessy(butJessy)
"

Jessy:
"Iam j
ustamakeupar
ti
standgl
amourmast
er"

Het
hent
ookamakeupki
tandwi
pedmyt
ear
sbef
oreappl
yi
ngsomemakeup.

Me:
"Idon'
tknowwher
eIwi
l
lrunt
o"

Jessy:
"fi
ndy
ouf
eether
eandt
heny
oucanst
artt
orunwheny
oucanst
and"

Inodded.I
t'
snoteasyt
houghatal
l
.

★AI
ZA★

Thecompanyi sgrowingver
ywellandIthinkdadwoul dbeproudofme.Wehav eexpandedint
o
neighbouri
ngcount r
iesandi
nthenext10y ear
sweneedt ohavecoveredat
least5count
ries
providi
ngourser v
ices.Aknockonmydoorcomest hr
oughandItel
l t
hepersontocomei nand
Mom wal ksin.Whensheshegr owingold.Shet akesoffhersungl
assesandput st
hem i
nher
bagandsi t
si nf
rontofmeandput sherbagont het abl
e.

Me:
"mom "

Mom :
"Ai
zaIdon'
tknowy
ouany
mor
e.Thatwi
tchhasy
ouagai
nstme"

Me:
"il
ent
oesi
gxhabani
say
o(t
hat
'swhat
'smaki
ngusf
ight)
"

Mom :
"Iwi
l
lnev
eraccepther"

Me:
"it
'sf
ine.Il
oveherandt
hatdoesn'
tneedy
ouri
nput
"

Sheswal
l
owed.

Mom :
"Wheni
sthi
sthi
ngst
art
ing.Iam her
easashar
ehol
der."

Me:
"itwi
l
lst
artat12h00"

Mom :
"that
'ssoont
hen.
Inodded.

Mom :
"youar
edoi
ngwel
l"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Shecr
ossedherl
egs.

★SI
ZA★

JessygotmedressedinablackPr
adadr
esswi
thr
edbot
tomsandabl
ackhandbag.Hedi
dmy
makeupquietwellaswel
l.

Jessy:
"hay
imakuy
hiwangi
yawaf
ihl
aamahl
azo(whenIcanhi
det
rut
hs)
"

Het
ookasnapoffmefr
om myphoneandhepost
edi
tonmyI
nst
agr
am account
.Inev
ersaw
t
heneedofi
tbutt
her
eiti
s.Iputmyphonei
nmybag.

Me:
"it
'sal
most12h00Ihav
etol
eav
e"

Jessy:
"ok.By
e."

InoddedandImademywayoutsayi
ngmygoodby esatMaGr
aceandIwalkedt omycarand
gotinandIdi
dasmall
pray
erbef
oredri
vi
ngof
f.Iopenedsomemusict
odistractmysel
fandI
l
ist
enedtoSjava

"ngat
h'ukuk'
thandakwam kuzong'
hol
ele

Ef
eni
,ngi
th'
angi
saboni
Nomak'
bonakal
angi
wel
eeweni
"

Il
i
stenedt
ohi
ssongst
il
lIgott
oZI
QUBUi
nc.

IgotoutofthecarwhenIpar kedandfixedmydr essandlockedthedoorandmademyway

i
nside.Therecepti
onistgr
eeted.Aizai
sv er
ystri
cteventhewaypeoplearoundher
ework.It
's
veryupti
ght.Igoti
ntheelevatorandIpressedhisfl
ooranditwentup.Itpi
ngedand.I
tgotto
thatfl
oorandIgotoutandmademywayt ohisoff
ice.Hi
soagr eet
edandIopenedthedoorand
Monsterinlawwasi nther
e.

Ai
za:
"baby"

Me:
"mah"

Shekeptqui
etandj
ustsneer
ed.Hecameandki
ssedmycheek.
Ai
za:
"youl
ookwonder
ful
.

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Ai
za:
"weshal
ll
eav
e"

Shest
oodupandwal
kedoutbumpi
ngmehar
d.Ist
umbl
edabi
t

Ai
za:
"Iam sor
ry"

It
urnedandf
oll
owedout
.Hehel
dmywai
standwewal
kedt
oget
hert
othecompany
'scaf
eter
ia.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT5

Wegoti nt hecafeteri
aandi t
'snicelydecoratedinsi
mplici
tymor eofli
keabusi nessf
uncti
on
typeofthemewi ththelongtablesar oundtheplacewewal kedinandev er
y onewaslooki
ngin
outdir
ectionbuti feell
iketheyarel ookingatmemor e.Likethatcanseewhatgoesonbey ond
thisi
magewear edispl
aying,li
ket heycanseemybr okensoulcryi
ngoutf orsomesav i
ng.We
gettothef rontandAizar ai
seshishandupsot her
ecouldbesilentanditi
s.

Ai
za:
"IWel
comey
oual
lher
eont
hisf
rui
tf
ulev
ent"

Ev
ery
oneclappedt
hei
rhands.Ihel
donmybagandt
ri
edt
omaskt
hemostWi
fef
ace.Ast
rong
wi
fei
fIcanmaskthat
.

Ai
za:
"Myf at
herst
art
edt
hiscompanyt
hroughaVi
sionandmanif
est
edi
tint
othi
sandmadei
t
hi
smissi
ontokeephi
sVi
sional
iv
ebyleavi
ngmetot akeov
erast
heonl
yson."

Heputhi
shandonmybackandIt
ri
edt
obr
eat
he.
Ai
za:
"Andf
ormywi
fe.Shehasbeenbymysi
det
hroughev
ery
thi
ng"

Hekissesmycheekandpeopl
earemel
ti
ngatthesuddencut
egest
ure.I
fonl
y,i
fonl
ythey
knewhowmuchIwoul dt
radethi
spl
aceforany
thi
ng.

Ai
za:
"andwewel
comeournewf
inanci
alt
eam "

Ev
ery
onecl
appedt
hei
rhandsandIdi
dthesame.

Ai
za:
"enj
oy,
itmi
ghtbet
hel
ast
"

Ev
er y
onelaughsandthewai
ter
sareal
readymov i
ngbetweenpeopl
ewi
thbev
erages. I
t'
snow
abitnoi
sywithli
ghtmusi
cpl
aying.Awaitercomesinf
rontofme.

Wai
ter:
"Bev
erageMr
sBi
yase?
"

It
aket
hegl
assofChampagne.

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

Shesmi
l
esandwal
ksaway
.Het
ouchesanybackoncemor
e.

Ai
za:
"ar
eyouok?"

Inoddedl
ooki
ngathi
m andf
aki
ngasmi
l
e.

Ai
za:
"Smi
l
efort
hepeopl
e"

Ismi
l
eanddr
inkupt
hewi
ne.

Ai
za:
"easywedon'
twanty
oudr
unk"

Inodded.Hi
smot
herl
ooksatusandi
putmygl
assdown.

Me:
"Ineedt
hebat
hroom "

HenoddedandIwal
kedof
f.If
eel
suf
focat
edatt
hatmoment
.

★ZAMI
LE★

Todaywasmydayof fatwor
k.Isnuckoutsi
ncewe'
dhour
sofmorni
ngandputashoal overmy
faceandheadandIwenttoNkal
anga.Igotther
eandt
hesmal
lbutl
ookedcr
eepy.Ichecked
mysur r
oundi
ngsandigoti
nsi
de.
Nkal
anga:
"Khumul
aicat
hul
oNt
ombazane(t
akeofy
ourshoesMygi
rl)
"

It
ookt
hem of
fandIsatdownandcl
appedmyhandst
wice.

Me:
"Makhosi
"

Hei
ssi
l
entwhi
l
epl
ayi
ngar
oundwi
thhi
sbones.

Nkal
anga:
"Ngi
yabona(Icansee)
"

Me:
"Kuhambakahl
e?(I
sitgoi
ngwel
l?)
"

Nkal
anga:
"Hay
ingendl
elaof
unangay
o(nott
hewayy
ouwanti
t)"

Hetookabot
tl
eofpinksubst
anceandheputi
tInf
rontofusandt
ooksomeher
bsandhe
wr
appedthem i
nanewspaper.

Me:
"Ngi
ngenzanj
ani
?(HowcanIdoi
t?)
"

Nkal
anga:
"Uv
ikel
i
weuy
ihl
o(hei
spr
otect
edbyhi
sfat
her)
"

Me:
"Angi
mbul
all
ingi
funaangi
thandenj
e(Iam notki
l
li
nghi
m,Ij
ustwanthi
mtol
oveme)
"

Nkalanga:
"uwenzaumonakal
ongobauvi
kel
i
we,uf
akeisi
cit
hokudadewenu(Youmadeamess
becauseheispr
otect
ed,youputadar
kcl
oudov
eryoursi
ster)
"

Me:
"Yougav
emet
heset
hingshowi
sitmyf
aul
t?"

Nkal
anga:
"iwar
nedy
ou"

Hepushedt
heher
bsi
nfr
ontofme.

Nkal
anga:
"thi
swi
l
lhel
pli
ght
ent
hecarcl
oudov
ery
oursi
ster"

Me:
"Idon'
twantt
o.Keepi
t"

Ist
oodup.

Nkal
anga:
"Soy
icel
aiv
uthi
we(y
ouwi
l
lreapwhaty
ousow)
"

Ii
gnor
edhi
m andwal
kedout
.

★BONGI
LE★
Li
ndi
:"Imadesomesoup.

Me:
"Thanky
ousomuchf
ri
end."

Li
ndi
:"y
ouar
ewel
come."

It
ookt
hesoupmesheputi
nast
rawf
ormeansIdr
anki
t.

Me:
"Iam t
hinki
ng"

Li
ndi
:"what?"

Me:
"may
beIshoul
dgoandseeat
radi
ti
onal
heal
er"

Li
ndi
:
"Whatar
eyougonnadot
her
e?"

Me:
"may
beIcangetsomemedi
cinef
rom t
her
etohel
pmewi
nAi
zaback"

Li
ndi
:"y
oht
hesev
oodoot
hingsar
ethi
ngsy
oudon'
twantt
omesswi
th"

Me:
"it
'swor
thashot"

Li
ndi
:"i
fyousayso"

Idr
ankmysoup.

Me:
"thi
sisgood"

Shesmi
l
ed.Ishoul
dgot
omom ,
shemi
ghtknowaper
son.

★SI
ZA★

Icl
osedthetoi
letseatandwentonmykneesandIputmyhandst
oget
her
.Idon'
tknowwher
e
tost
artorwhattosay.

Me:
"Lor
dsav
emymar
ri
agei
fnotme"

Isighedandheldmyt
earsback. Il
ookedupagai
nandclosedmyey esandpressedmyhands
together
.Ihopemypr
ayersdon'
tbounceof
fthi
sroofbecauseIneedthem del
i
vered.

Me:"Idon'
tknowwhattodo.Whatev
ert
hathasgoti
nt oAi
zaIcasti
toutofourmar
ri
age.
Lor
dsaveyourcry
ingchi
ldr
enl
ikemebef
orewemeety ou"

Isatt
her
eont
hef
loorandwat
chedt
hewal
lforsomet
ime.
_
__[FLASHBACK]

Iwaslooki
ngatt
heraindropandrunni
ngdownt
hegl
assandt
hebl
ueskytur
nedgrey,the
greengr
asssoontobestainedbymud.Hecomesnextt
omehol
dingacupofhotchocol
ate
andwebothwatchtherai
npour.

Ai
za:
"it
'scol
d"

Me:
"it
'swar
minsi
de"

Hel
ookedatmeandl
ookedbackout
.

Me:
"thi
sist
ough"

Ai
za:
"Iam sor
ryf
orput
ti
ngy
ouher
eSi
za"

Me:
"nowmypar
ent
swantmet
onotf
ail
thi
sfakemar
ri
age.I
twentt
oof
arandi
t'
sgoi
ngf
ar!
"

Heput
shi
shandonmyshoul
der.

Ai
za:
"si
za"

Me:
"Iknowmyname"

Ai
za:
"IknowI
..
..
"

Hemovedcloserandhist
allsel
fhover
sme.Heholdsmywaistbendi
nghi
sheadtomeetmi
ne
andweshareakiss.Thesecondkissihav
ehadwit
hhi
m sof
ar.It'
ssl
owandpassi
onat
eas
well
andIenj
oyitthi
sti
measwel l.Ibr
eakitof
f.

Me:
"St
opAi
za"

Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
ouSi
za,
justgi
vemeachance.Ipr
omi
senott
ohur
tyou"

Iam si
l
entandIl
ookathi
m.

_
___
___

Aknockonthebat
hroom doort
akesmeoffmemor
ylane.Hebroket
hebi
ggestpr
omi
seand
t
hatwastonothur
tme.Iam hur t
.If
eel
hurt
.Theknockcomesagai
n.

"
MrsBi
yasei
sev
ery
thi
ngok?MrBi
yasei
slooki
ngf
ory
ou"

Iwi
pemyt
ear
sbef
oret
heyr
uinmymakeupandIgetupandopent
hedoor.

Me:
"Iam f
ine"
Ismi l
eatthewai
terandwal
ktothesink.ShelookedatmeasIwashedmyhandsanddr i
ed
them.It ookmybagandIwalkedouttothecafeter
ia.Iseehi
mlaughwit
honeoft
heshare
holdersandIam noti
nthemoodtofakeal augh.It
akeanothergl
assf
rom t
hewai
terandmy
mot heri
nlawcomest omeandstandsinfr
ontofme.

MamBiyase:
"thatPr
aday ouwear,weavecarev
ery
thi
ngi
smyhusbandandsonsmoneyy
ou
ar
ejustanot
hergol
ddiggerIwi
llgetr
idoff"

Shewal
kedof
f.Iswal
lowedandlookedatmyr
ingandi
tdoesn'
thol
dagr
eatsi
gni
fi
cance.He
comesmywayandst
andsinf
rontofme.

Si
za:
"let
'sgot
omyof
fi
ce"

Knowandt akeagulpandoutt
heglassdownandhemakesahookwi thhisarm andi
hook
mineandwewal ktotheel
evat
or.Wegetinsi
deanditgoesupandpi
ngs.Wegetoutandwalk
tohi
soffi
ceandhel et
smei nf
ir
standcomesinaft
erandlocks.Myheartraces.

Ai
za:
"tal
ktome:
"

Me:
"Iam f
ine"

Ai
za:
"Iam sor
rySi
zaIr
eal
l
yam "

Il
ookathi
m amdmyey
esar
egl
ossy
.Hecomescl
osert
omeandhugsme.

Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
ouok?"

Inod,
heli
ft
smyfaceupandwi
pesmyf
ear
sbef
oreweshar
eaki
ssandhebr
eaksi
twi
pingmy
l
ipswi
thhi
sthumb.

★BONGI
LE★

Aft
erLi
ndihadl
eftIgotmyphoneanddeci
dedtocal
lmom af
tersol
ong.Iam sur
eshei
s
somewher
edoingsomet r
oubl
ing.Sheanswer
sbyluck.

Mom :
"Bongi
l
e"

Me:
"Ineedat
radi
ti
onal
heal
ers"

Mom :
"st
opsl
eepi
ngwi
thoutacondom "

Me:
"it
'sf
oraman"
Shei
ssi
l
ent
.

Me:
"hei
sweal
thy,
ver
yri
chbuthei
smar
ri
ed.Ianthi
m"

Mom :
"comeat3am "

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Shehangsup.IknewIcancountonher.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT6

★BONGI
LE★

Igotof
fthecarandr
ushedi
nsi
det
hey
ardandknockedont
hedoorandmom opened.

Mom :
"youar
eont
ime"

Me:
"Idon'
twantpeopl
etoseemeher
e"

Shel
ookedar
oundandpushedmeoutoft
hewaycl
osi
ngt
hedoorandl
ocki
ngi
t.

Mom :
"youwer
erai
sedi
nthesest
reet
s"

Me:
"andi
imagi
nemy
sel
foutoft
hem."

Ihel
dmyscar
fcl
oset
omyf
acecov
eri
ngi
taswewal
kedt
omycar
.Wegoti
nandi
star
tedi
t
anddrov
eof
f.
Me:
"wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?"

Mom :
"Nkal
anga,
Hehel
pedmegetr
idofy
ourgr
andmot
her"

Me:
"Wow"

Mom :
"Shewasapai
nInt
hebut
t"

Me:
"Iknewwi
tchcr
afti
syourspeci
ali
ty"

Mom :
"it
'sourspeci
ali
tynow"

Il
ookedatherandkeptqui
et.

Mom :
"tel
lmeaboutt
hisboy"

Me:
"Ai
zaBi
yase"

Mom :
"Wow,
youhi
tthej
ackpott
her
e"

Me:
"Iknow.

Mom :
"wewi
l
lgethi
m."

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

★SI
ZA★

Iwokeupi nthemor ni
ngandwentt obat hmysel
fbeforegoingtoprepar
eAizaforwork.We
camebackhomeear l
yandIjustneededthebedsoIwentt osleep.Imadesomebr eakf
astfor
him andsomel unch.IguessIam noti nGod'
sfavourl
atel
y.Idopr ayatti
mes, yesIdon'tgo
tochurchbutIdoputi nmy2centwor dsinmyprayerbutnothi
ng.Hewal ksdownt hestair
s
notdressed.

Ai
za:
"Goodmor
ning"

Me:
"Mor
ning"

Hehol
dsmywai
standki
ssesmyneck.

Ai
za:
"Iam notgoi
ngt
owor
ktoday
."

Me:
"Oh"
Ai
za:
"Wear
egoi
ngt
oawi
ney
ard"

Me:
"Real
l
y?"

Henoddedandismil
ed.Ialway
swantedtogosincebabat ookuswhenIwas19j
ustt
otast
e
somewinesandIvowedwhenIam ol
derandst
ableIwil
ltakemy sel
fther
e.

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
ouok?Iknowy
ouar
edoubt
ingi
tbutIl
ovey
ouandwewi
l
lhav
eababy"

Me:
"Idon'
twantt
ohav
eababyany
timesoon."

Ai
za:
"Iunder
standandIam so.
..
"

Ipl
acedmyfi
ngersonhi
slipsandIhel
dhisf
aceandki
ssedhim andher
espondedt
omyki
ss
hol
dingmybut
t,hesqueezeditwhi
l
egroani
ngandIbr
okeit
.

Ai
za:
"Damny
ouar
emaki
ngmewantt
otakey
ounow"

Ishy
edof
fandhet
urnedt
hest
oveof
fbehi
ndmeandpi
ckedmeup.

Ai
za:
"Iwantt
oseewhat
'sundert
hatdr
ess"

Me:
"Mmh"

Heki
ssedmeandIr
etur
nedi
tashewal
kedupt
hest
air
s.

★KAMOGELO★

Iopenedmyey esandt hesunwaspenet rat

ingintheroom.If l
i
ppedmy sel
fov erandHewas
notnexttome.Whyam Isi ghi
ngandf eeli
ngli
ket hi
s?Hepr obablylef
tduringtheni ghtwhil
eI
wasasleep.Henev erstay satall.Igetoffthebedandmakemywayt othebat hroom andtakea
bath.Mybodyst art
st or el
axasIam i nthebathtubandIgetout .Iseeabr ownenv elopeandI
wenttoitandlooki nsideandi t
'smypay ment.Idon'twantitanymor e,yesitcoul dhavehelped
butIdon'
twanti tany mor e.Iam asgoodasapr ostit
uteatthispoint.Anot eistheresay i
ngI
canstayatthehot elfort henextt woday saswel l
.If eelangry,athimf orusingmel i
kethis
andmef all
i
ngf orthisst upidit
y.WhatdoIknow?Iam j ust22y ears.Youknowwhat?Letme
goandspoilmy selfwi t
hhi smoneyandsendsomehome.

IchangeandIwal
kout.Iwi
l
lgoandhavesomebr
eakfastatagoodr estur
ant
.Igetacabandi
t
goeswhereIwantitt
ogo.Ipayandwalki
nsi
det
heresturantandbusinessmenandsome
otherpeopleareeatinghereaswell.Iwanttofeelmy selfandf or
getalit
tl
eoft hesituat
ionI
havebackhome.IknowassoonasImai lt
hemoneymymot herwil
lblowitallonalcohol.She
i
st heBlesserofthatsinceIhavestar
tedsleepi
ngwi t
hI ngathi.ThewaitercomesandIor der
somecof feewithaf ar
m housebreakfastandthenhewal ksoff.Igetbusyonmyphoneand
myI nst
agram Followershaveincr
easedto49t housand.Ishoul ddoanappr eciat
ionpost
whenIr each50t housand.

"
IknewIr
ecogni
zet
hisf
acef
rom somewher
e"

Il
if
tmyheadupandfearki
cksinabi t
.Iam sweati
ngandscaredaswel
lnotknowi
ngwhy.He
si
tsopposi
temeandputshi
sMer cedes-
Benzcarkeysonthetabl
eandhi
sphone.Heisneat,
sui
tcl
eanbeardev
ery
thi
ng.Hiscolognecannotbemissedbyamile.

Hi
m:"Kamor
ight?"

Inodnotsur
eifIknowhi
m.Hel
etsouthi
shand.

Hi
m:"Hl
ubi
,Hl
ubi
Biy
ase.Iusedt
oschool
wit
hyourol
derbr
other"

Oh, t
her i
chjerkfr
om backwhenIwasaki d.Mybr otherwasverysmartandonl
yschooledi
n
pri
vateschoolsthroughscholar
shi
ps.Iontheotherhandwast hedumbblonde,hehada
fr
iendwhoIdi dn'
tlikebecauseofhowmuchhewoul dcarryhi
mselfnj
e.Hewasaj er
kindeed
andrightnowIam f rowningnotwant
inghi
minf
rontofme.

Me:
"oh"

Isai
dnotshowi
nganyi
nter
esty
etIam i
nter
est
ed."

Hl
ubi
:"y
ouhav
egr
own.Howol
dar
eyou?"

Me:
"22,
"

Hl
ubi
:"st
il
lyoung"

Idon'
tremembermuchofhi
m butIknowhei
sthatj
erkIam t
alki
ngabout
.

Hl
ubi
:"howi
sKat
lego?"

Me:
"Uhm hedi
ed."

Hl
ubi
:"ohw"

Sadnesswashedov
erhi
sface.

Me:
"Br
aint
umour,
cancer"

Henodded
Hl
ubi
:"i
tsgoodt
oseet
haty
oumadei
t"

Ichockedonmyspi
tandhegotmewat
er.

Me:
"yeah"

Heshookhi
shead.

Hl
ubi
:"y
ouar
eyoungf
ort
hat"

Me:
"youngf
orwhat?"

Hl
ubi
:"sel
l
ingy
our
sel
fli
ket
hat"

Me:
"youknownot
hingaboutme,
act
ual
l
ywhyar
eyoust
il
lseat
edher
e?"

Hechuckl
edandputaf
ewnot
esont
het
abl
e.

Hl
ubi
:"Iwi
l
lseey
ou"

Me:
"Nx!
"

Hewal
kedof
f.Whodoeshet
hinkhei
s?

★AI
ZA★

Iranmyf i
nger
sonhernakedski
nassheplayedonmychest.Iki
ssedt
hetopofherheadand
Carri
edoncaressi
ngher.Themarksonherbodymakesmef li
nch.WhendidIstar
tbei
nga
monster.Ihaveal
wayslov
edandprot
ect
edSi zaandnowIwonderwhat'
sgoingon?Whyam I
doingthi
stoherandcausi
nghersomuchpain.

Me:
"baby"

Si
za:
"Mmmh"

Me:
"youar
easl
eep?"

Si
za:
"iam t
ryi
ngt
osl
eepAi
za"

Me:
"wear
esupposedt
ogot
othewi
ney
ard."

Si
za:
"af
termynappl
ease"

Me:
"di
dIdr
ainy
ou?
"
Si
za:
"toomuch"

Ichuckl
e.

Me:
"Iam sor
ry."

Iki
ssedhercheekandshesl
ept
.

★BONGI
LE★

wegotbackfr
om theheal
erandIwasgi
venherbst
obathi
nandchangehisnamet hr
eetimes
eachdaywhenIbath.Iwassi
tti
ngwi
thMom inmyhouseaft
erwehavecamef r
om theheal
er
andshehasn'
tst
oppedrambli
nghermouthhowmuchGodisblessi
ngmelikeherbefor
eshe
marri
eddad.

Me:
"mm"

Isi
ppedonmydr
ink.

Mom :
"hewon'
thi
tyouaf
tery
ouuset
hisony
our
sel
f"

Me:
"It
hinkhehi
tshi
swi
fe"

Mom :
"don'
tcar
eabouther
.Ev
ery
onef
ort
hemsel
ves"

Me:
"youar
eri
ght"

Mom :
"thi
shousei
sbeaut
if
ul"

Me:
"Iknow"

It
ookasi
pof
fmydr
ink.

★SI
ZA★

Aft
ermynapwewentt obat
handgotdr
essedf
orourtr
ipt
henweleft
.Thewhol
ewaywewere
conver
sat
ionsandl
aughi
ng,hewoul
dholdmyhandandki
ssither
eandther
eandIwoul
dbl
ush.
I
tli
kehewasmakingmefal
li
nlovewi
thhi
m al
loveragai
nandIwas.Wegott
othewi
ney
ard
andgotoutoft
hecar
.Wewerei
ncomfort
abl
eclot
hesforsuchat
ri
p.

Me:
"st
opi
t"

Igi
ggl
edashehel
dmywai
standni
bbl
edmyear
.

Ai
za:
"can'
tIt
ouchy
ou?"

Me:
"noi
t'
sti
ckl
i
ng"

Hechuckl
ed.

"Wel
comeMrandMr
sBi
yase"

Us:
"hi
"

Her:
"Iam AmyandIwi
l
lbeshowingyouourgr
apefi
eldandt
aki
ngyouthroughourprocessof
maki
ngwineandwecantast
ethedi
ff
erentwi
nesandwhywehavedrywineaswell.Peopleask
t
hatquest
ional
ot.

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Her:
"shal
lwe?"

InoddedandAi
zat
ookmyhandandwef
oll
owedher
.Hewoul
dcont
ent
lyt
ouchme.

Me:
"Ai
za"

Ai
za:
"ok,
Iwon'
tdot
hatagai
njustgi
vemeaper
k"

Ist
oodonmyt
oesandgav
ehi
m aper
k"

Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~
I
NSERT7

Wegottowinet
ast
ingandIr
eal
l
ylov
eSweetwi
nesomuch,
thedr
ywi
nei
sabi
tbi
tt
erf
orme
buti
t'
sgoodaswel
l.

Ai
za:
"Wi
nei
snotf
orme"

Wel
aughed.

Me:
"SoChampagnei
sal
soconsi
der
edwi
ner
ight?"

Her:
"somecal
li
twhi
tewi
neandsomeChampagne.Wemakei
twi
thourgr
eengr
apes."

Me:
"thi
sisni
ce"

Ipl
ayedar
oundwi
tht
hewi
nei
nthewi
negl
assbef
oresi
ppi
ngi
t.Iputmygl
assdown.

Me:
"thi
swasni
ce"

Ai
za:
"yesi
twas."

Her:
"thanky
ouf
orst
oppi
ngby
.It
'ssuchanhonourt
ohav
eyoubot
hher
einourwi
ney
ard"

Me:
"Thanky
ouf
ory
ourhospi
tal
i
tyski
l
ls"

Shel
aughed.

Ai
za:
"wear
eleav
ing?"

Inodded.Wesai
dourgoodby
esandwal
kedout
.

Ai
za:
"wear
egoi
ngoutf
ordi
nnert
oni
ght"

Me:
"Iam bei
ngspoi
l
ed."

Ai
za:
"Yes,
Iam pr
ovi
ngmyl
ove"

Heki
ssedmyf
orehead.INodded.

★ZAMI
LE★

Luncht
imewasnear
ingandi
wast
ir
edi
fbei
ngatt
heback.I
t'
shotandIam t
ir
edoft
heheat
fr
om theki
tchen.Il
eavemyutensil
sandIgot
othebat
hroom andtakeapeethenIwipeandI
am done.Ifl
ushandwalkoutandwenttowashmyhands. Iwalkedoutandwenttogetmy
l
unchandwentt ositwi
tht
heladies.

Fl
orence:
"Zamay azii
fIwerey
ouIwouldbeall
overmysi
ster
'sMansi
on,
inherpool
snappi
ng
photos.I
ntheki
tchenever
ywhereshameIwoul
dbeever
ywhere"

Gugu:
"Idon'
tthi
nkIwoul
dhol
dmy
sel
fwi
thherhusband.Mmmhsomewomenar
ever
ylucky
.
"

Sne:
"ohmyGodhubbyj
ustpost
ed."

Ir
oll
myey
es.That
smymant
haty
ouar
edr
ool
i
ngov
er.

Gugu:
"ohLor
dandi
sabwl
andi
sabwl
"

She:
"ohmyhusbandman"

Fl
orence:
"Iwonderi
fIcansendi
nmyappl
i
cat
iont
obesecondwi
fe"

Me:
"canwet
alkaboutsomet
hingel
seei
thert
hanAi
zaandSi
zakel
e?"

Sne:
"andy
ou?Jeal
ousyeat
ingy
ou?"

Me:
"Nx"

Ii
gnor
edher
.

Gugu:
"Ifonl
yhehadabr
other
."

Fl
orence:
"Ishoul
dhav
eremov
edhi
smot
herwhenIhadachance"

Theyl
aughed. Igotupi
rr
it
atedandwentt
ogoandwor
k.

★BONGI
LE★

Mom :
"Geza(bat
h)"

Shespi
l
lst
hewat
erf
il
ledwi
thher
bsonmybodyandi
closemyey
esi
nthebat
htub.

Me:
"Ai
zaBi
yase,
AizaBi
yase,
AizaBi
yase.
"

Shest
oppedandIt
henspi
l
ledwat
erov
ermybodywashi
ngi
t.
Me:
"Comebackt
ome.Lov
eme,
Mar
ryme,
Iwanty
ouback. "

Mom :
"sayal
lthaty
ouwant"

Me:
"leav
eSi
zaandcomet
ome."

Mom :
"Yes.Bat
h"

Ikeptoncal
l
inghi
snamet
hreet
imesandIcar
ri
edonbat
hing.

★SI
ZA★

Me:
"Ai
za"

Ai
za:
"Babe"

Me:"Doy
out
hinkwer
eal
l
ylov
eeachot
herorwet
hinksobecausewehav
ebeenf
ri
end'
sforso
l
ong"

Hei
ssi
l
ent
.Hehol
dsmyhandandki
ssesi
t.

Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
ou.I
t'
sfr
om deepwi
thi
nandy
ouoccupymyhear
t"

Me:
"whataboutBongi
l
e?Whatcan'
tj
ustf
orgett
hef
actt
haty
oul
oveheraswel
l",

Ai
za:
"Idi
dn'
twantt
ohur
ther"

Me:
"buty
ouhur
tme"

Ai
za:
"Iam sor
rybabe"

Me:
"Iam j
ustaski
ng.Iam j
ustsay
ing"

Ai
za:
"Iam sorr
y.Il
oveyouok?AndImeani
twhenIsayt
hat
.Idon'
tknowwhat
'swr
ongwi
th
mebutIwi
l
l f
ixit
.Iwil
lfi
xourmar
ri
age."

Isi
ghed.

Ai
za:
"Ok?"

Me:
"Ok"

Heki
ssedmyhand.
Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
ou,
thaty
oushoul
dnev
erdoubtev
eni
fIgetbewi
tched"

Wel
aughed.

Me:
"thatwon'
thappen"

Ai
za:
"iam j
ustsay
ing"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

,Henoddedandilookedathim whil
ehedroveoff
.Imi sst
heoldus.Iwantt
hatrel
ati
onshi
p
backmor et
hananythi
ngandIthinkslowl
ywearegoingbackther
e.Wegothomeaf tersome
ti
meandwebot hhoppedoff.Thereweresti
l
lhoursl
eftbef
orewecouldgoourfordi
nner. Hi
s
phonerangandheanswered.

Ai
za:
"Mah"

Hewassi
l
ent
.Thatwomanr
eal
l
yhat
esmewi
thhergut
s.

Ai
za:
"ok.Iheary
ou"

Hesay
s.

Ai
za:
"don'
tyouev
en.
..
"

Hehungup.

Me:
"somet
hingwr
ong?"

Ai
za:
"it
'sj
ustmom."

Me:
"don'
twor
ry"

Ai
za:
"comeher
e"

Iwentt
ohi
m andhehel
dmywai
st.Il
aidmyheadonhi
schest
.Il
ovehi
mthi
sgent
le.

★MABHEBHE(
SIZA'
SMOTHER)
★

It
ookmywashi
ngbasketasIwasdonehangi
ngt
hewashi
ngandmynei
ghborCal
l
edoutf
or
me.

Her:
"wehMakhel
wane!
"
Me:
"yebo(y
es)
"

Iwal
ktowar
dst
hegat
eandopenf
orher
.Shewal
ksi
n.

MaZuma:
"howar
eyou?"

Me:
"iam good.Iam good."

MaZuma:
"Ihadbaddr
eam andi
tdi
stur
bedme"

Me:
"whati
sit
?"

MaZuma:
"Si
zakel
e.Shei
snotok."

Me:
"shei
sper
fect
lyf
ine.Ical
l
edheraf
ewday
sago"

MaZuma: "Musaukuv
alekaamehlo.Uf
uyei
nyokakwakhoandUzobuyangebhoki
si
ngi
yakut
shela(st
opbeingbl
ind.Youar
eharbour
ingasnakeandshewil
lcomebackinacof
fi
nI
tel
lyou)
"

Me:"
aungi
tshel
eut
shel
weabaphansi
bakhof
uthi
?(Tel
lme,
yourancest
orsshowedi
ttoy
ou
?)
"

Shei
sapr
ophet
.

MaZuma:
"yes."

Me:
"pl
easel
eav
e.Iknowmyki
dsandwhat
'sbestf
ort
hem "

Sheshookherhead.

Me:
"leav
e"

MaZuma:
"It
ri
ed"

Shet
urned.Icl
i
ckedmyt
ongue.

.
~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT8

Iwalkeddownt hest
air
sall
dressedandAi
zawasdr
inki
nghiswhiskywhil
ewaiti
ngforme.He
tur
nedar oundandheputhi
sdr i
nkdownandcamet
oassistmetherestofthest
air
sandhel
d
mywai stlayi
ngaperkonmylips.
Ai
za:
"youl
ookwonder
ful
"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Ismi
l
ed.

Ai
za:
"Shal
lwe?"

Inoddedandhet ookmyhandandcarkeysandwewal kedoutofthehouse.Heopenedthe

doorforme.Hei sbeingagent
lemantoni
ght.Igeti
nandt hankhim andhegoest
ohisside
andheget sinanddri
vesoff
.Ht akesmyhandandholdsitandkissesither
eandt
hereaswell
.
Istar
ttorelaxaswell
inthecar
.

Me:
"whi
chr
est
aur
antar
ewegoi
ngt
o?"

Ai
za:
"it
'sasur
pri
se"

Me:
"oh"

Hesmi
l
es.

Ai
za:
"Ihopey
ouenj
oy"

Me:
"met
oo"

Hesmi
l
es.

★KAMOGELO★

Myphoner
angdist
urbi
ngmefrom mymedi
tat
ion.Igetof
fthef
loorandi
standupandgoand
t
akei
tandit
'sMom.Ianswer
.

Me:
"Mom "

Mom :
"keal
ebohangoan'
aka!(Thanky
oumybaby!)
"

Ther
eisnoi
sei
nthebackgr
ound.

Me:
"mom !
"

Shekeepsonshout
ingbutIcan'therewhatsheissayi
ngshetothenoise.Ihangupandburst
i
ntotear
s.Iwishmybr ot
herdidn'tdi
eevery
thingwouldbebet
terandsimple.Mom wouldn'
t
beadrunken,
itst
artedwhenshel ostMyolderbrot
her.Hewasev er
ythi
ngandourwayoutas
well
.Iwenttot
hekit
chenandt
ookoutabott
leofwi
neandIgul
pedfrom i
tandputmybot
tl
e
down.Ihearamessagepi
ngfr
om myphoneandIgoandtakei
t.I
t'
sfrom I
ngat
hi

*
*Iam onmyway,
arey
ouatt
hehot
el?*
*

Isi
gh.Iam t
ir
ed.

Me:
"No"

Hecal
l
smeandhedoesn'
tusual
l
ycal
lme.

I
ngat
hi:
"Iam comi
ng"

Me:
"ok"

HehangsupandIst andupandIgotomyr oom andItakemythingsandgotothebathroom t

o
t
akeabathandf i
xmy sel
fupnotmuch.Iwearagownov ermybodyandgot omyr oom and
wearl
aceunderwearandgoandsitatthel
oungedrinki
ngmywi ne.Fewsecondslatert
hereis
aknockonthedoorandIgoandopent hedoorandhepushesmei nandki
ssesme.I t'
snot
r
oughandhungrylikeal
ways.It
'sdi
ff
erent
.

I
ngat
hi:
"whatar
eyouwear
ingunder
neat
h?"

Me:
"Not
hing"

Heki
ssesmyneckandl
ooksbehi
ndme.

I
ngat
hi:
"youshoul
dst
opdr
inki
ngwi
ne"

Me:
"why? "

I
ngat
hi:
"Iwantababy
."

Me:
"whatabouty
ourwi
fe?"

I
ngat
hi:
"shecan'
tgi
vemeababy
."

Hepi ckedmeupandkissedmyneck.Idon'
twantababy,Idon'
twantanyofhi
ssper
ms
swimmi nginsi
deofmeandcreat
ingahuman.Whatwill
Ibri
ngthischi
l
dinto?Heget
sinmy
bedroom andlaysmeontheddandtakesof
fhi
sblazer
.

Me:
"Iam notr
eadyt
ohav
eababy"

Idon'
twantababy
.

I
ngat
hi:
"Iwi
l
ltakecar
eofy
ouandt
hebaby
."

Heki
ssesmyshoul
der
s.
I
ngat
hi:
"oncey
ouar
epr
egnantIwi
l
lbuyy
ouahouse.Iwi
l
ltakecar
eofev
ery
thi
ng.Any
thi
ng
y
ouneed."

Me:
"am Igonnabeasur
rogat
e?"

Hepul
l
smyl
egsupandheopenst
hem andt
akesof
fmyunderwearandhi
sbet
weent
hem.

I
ngat
hi:
"shi
t!"

Hegoestomycookieandhesucksonmycl i
tor
isandImoanhol
dingthesheets.Mytoescur
l
andheremoveshisfaceandi
nsert
safingerandthr
ustsi
tinmeandthepleasureist
akingov
er
al
ot.Hepull
sitoutwhenIam aboutt
ocum.

I
ngat
hi:
"Comet
urnar
ound"

Isi
tupandItakeof
fthegownandgoonmykneesandhespr
eadsmybut
tcheeksandhe
spanksmybutt.

Me:
"Ah!
"

Hegr
oansandhehassai
dmymoanst
urnhi
m on,
hesl
i
psaf
ingeri
nagai
n

Hekissedmybackandhel dmybut tandhet ookoffhi

sbeltandhef ol
deditinhal
fandhitme
wit
hi tonmybutsl i
ghtl
yandIscreamedandhedi dthatagai
nbef or
ehesuckedonmybut t
cheeksandr ubbedthem.Hetraceshistonguedownt omyKi tt
enandhet hrust
editinsi
deme.I
couldfeelt
hewar mthnessandpleasureatthesamet i
me. Ihel donthesheetsarchingmybut
t
upmor eformor eaccessandhepul l
soutandkeepsont easingme.If eell
ikecry
ingatthe
samet imehekeepsonj umpingtothenextbestthing.

I
ngat
hi:
"wher
eisy
ourVi
brat
or?"

Me:
"thewar
drobe"

Hegoest othewardrobeandhesearchedfori
tandfoundit
.Het akesoffhi
sshi
rtandatat
too
wri
ttenZiqubuinbol
donhi schest.Hecamecloserandhekissedmybackandturnedonmy
vi
bratorandteasedmewi t
hit.Myheadr ol
l
edbackasImoanedi npleasur
e.

Me:
"mmmh"

I
ngat
hi:
"moanf
orme."

Me:
"Ah!"

Icum andhesl
i
psi
nhi
sfi
nger
sandt
akest
hem outandput
sthem i
nmymout
hformet
otast
e
my sel
f.

I
ngat
hi:
"Youl
ookappeasi
ng."
Ipantabitandhethengetsmeoffthebedandcarr
iedmetothedresserandsi
tsmether
eand
hekissesmeandIr espondaswel
l.Heundressedhispant
sandtheydroppeddownwit
hhis
boxersaswellandpull
edmet ot
heedge.

I
ngat
hi:
"nocondom t
oday"

Inoddedandheposit
ionedhimselfandhesli
ppedinslowl
y.Itryt
oholdmy sel
ffr
om moaning
butitget
stooover
whelmi ngandIholdont
ohisbiceps.Hetakesoffhi
sri
ngandputsitnextt
o
meandki ssesmyshoulderbefor
ehestart
stomov e.

Me:
"ohy
es"

I
ngat
hi:
"yesbabe.Keepgoi
ng."

Hehol
dsmybut
tandhei
ncr
easeshi
space.

Me:
"AhI
ngi
!"

I
ngat
hi:
"fuck!"

Hepul
l
soutandhi
sdi
cki
scov
eredbymywet
ness.

I
ngat
hi:
"Come"

Heget
smeof fandhepi
nsmeonthewal
lagai
nstmybackandhel
i
ftsmyl
egupandhet
hrust
s
i
nandhideshi
sheadatt
hecr
ackofmyneckandki
ssesi
t.

I
ngat
hi:
"FuckKamo"

Me:
"sl
owdown."

Hedoessl
owdownandhi
sst
rokesar
elonganddeepaswel
l
.

I
ngat
hi:
"LookatmeKamo"

Il
ookathi
m andheki
ssesmeandIr
espondaswel
l
.Iwhi
spert
hrought
heki
ss.

Me:
"Iam cummi
ng."

I
ngat
hi:
"cum f
orme.Cum al
lov
ermydi
ck"

HewentharderanddeeperandIcum andhepul
ledoutandcar
ri
edmet othebedagai
nandhe
wentonhi
skneeandhi sheadburr
iedbetweenmylegs.Hehel
dthem downsoIwouldn'
t
squi
rm.

Me:
"Mmmh"

Heli
ckedmeof
fandgotonmeagai
nandhet
hrust
edi
nandqui
ckedhi
space.Icoul
dfeel
it
t
ouchmywombaswell.
Me:
"Ahi
ngat
hi!"

Iscr
eamedandhesl
oweddown.

I
ngat
hi:
"iam sor
ry."

Inodded.

I
ngat
hi:
"Iwantmanybabi
es"

Inodded.If
eel
mor
ethanused.

I
ngat
hi:
"Shi
tyourmoan"

Het
rust
edonmyG-
spotandmyt
oescur
led.

Me:
"Takeme"

I
ngat
hi:
"noonewi
l
lent
ery
ouexceptmeunder
stood?"

Inoddedr
oll
edmyheadback.Hewasmaki
ngl
ovet
omenowandi
twassweetl
ove

★BONGI
LE★

Mom comesi
ntomybedr
oom af
termaki
ngsomet
eaf
ort
hebot
hofusandsi
tsont
hebed.

Me:
"whenwi
l
litwor
k?"

Mom :
"theset
hingst
aket
imeandpat
ience."

Me:
"Iwannabepr
egnant"

Mom :
"Idon'
tknowhowt
hatgr
avey
ardi
sgoi
ngt
omi
racul
ousl
ybecomeheav
en"

Me:
"don'
tsayt
hat"
Shechuckl
edanddr
ankhert
ea.

Mom :
"Iam goi
ngt
osl
eep.Rememberbat
hint
hemor
ning"

Me:
"Iwi
l
l"

Shegotof
fthebedandwalkedout.Myphonepi
ngedandi
twasLi
ndi
,fornowIwon'
ttal
kto
her
.Ihopemypl ancomestoget
her.

★SI
ZA★

Thewaitercame, thi
siswonder
fulandalsobeaut
if
ul.If
eeli
mportantandlov
ed.Heplacedthe
cover
edf oodinf
rontofmeandIthankedhim. Hewal kedoffandIopenedit
.Itwasdeser
t
wit
hcaramel saucearoundi
tinaheartshape.

Me:
"thi
sissweet"

Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Inodded.

Ai
za:
"Iam goi
ngt
opr
ovei
teachandev
eryday
"

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

Vi
oli
nsst
art
edpl
ayi
ngandi
twasAi
nst
rument
alofAl
lmyl
i
fe.

Ai
za:
"canIhav
ethi
sdancebef
oredeser
t?"

InoddedandhwcameandtookmyhandandIgotupandhehel
dmywai
st.Wedancedal
i
ttl
e
andmyheadwasonhischest.

Ai
za:
"Remembery
oual
way
sdr
eamedoft
heseki
ndsofmoment
s"

Me:
"yes."

Ai
za:
"Iwi
l
lmaket
hem happenf
ory
oubaby"

Ikeptqui
et.

Ai
za:
"Iwi
l
lnev
erf
indanot
herl
oversweet
ert
hany
ou

Sweet
ert
hany
ou
AndIwi
l
lnev
erf
indanot
herl
overmor
epr
eci
oust
hany
ou

Mor
epr
eci
oust
hany
ou

Gi
rly
ouar
ecl
oset
omey
ou'
rel
i
kemymot
her

Cl
oset
omey
ou'
rel
i
kemyf
ather

Cl
oset
omey
ou'
rel
i
kemysi
ster

Cl
oset
omey
ou'
rel
i
kemybr
other(
brot
her
)

Youar
etheonl
yonemyev
ery
thi
ngandf
ory
out
hissongIsi
ng

Andal
lmyl
i
feI
'
vepr
ayedf
orsomeonel
i
key
ou

AndIt
hankGodt
hatI
,thatIf
inal
l
yfoundy
ou

Al
lmyl
i
feI
'
vepr
ayedf
orsomeonel
i
key
ou

AndIhopet
haty
ouf
eel
thesamewayt
oo

Yes,
Ipr
ayt
haty
oudol
ovemet
oo.
..
..
."

Hehumsaf
tert
hat
.Ist
op.

Me:
"hur
tmeAi
zaandIwi
l
lleav
eyou"

Ai
za:
"Iwon'
t"

Heper
ksmyl
i
ps.

Ai
za:
"Iwon'
tIpr
omi
se"

Inoddedandwecar
ri
edondanci
ng.

★KAMOGELO★

Ibr
eathedoutandl
aidnexttohi
m andIam al
readyreadyforhi
mt owalkoutbutheinstead
pul
lsmet ohi
m andplay
swi t
hmyweav e.I
t'
swei r
d.Hei sthef
irstmanIhaveeversleptwit
h
andnowhewi l
lbethefi
rstmanIwil
lhaveababywi t
h.

I
ngat
hi:
"don'
tgetamor
ningaf
terpi
l
lok?"
Inodded.

I
ngat
hi:
"good"

Hepul
l
smet
ohi
schestandIl
i
stent
ohi
shear
tbeat
.Itf
eel
swar
m.Ist
artt
odozeof
faf
tert
hat
.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT9

★LI
NDI
★

Isatontheki
tchencounter
.Iwastr
yingt
ocall
him butitgoestovoicemai
l.Mypastiscatchi
ng
upwithmeandi tsst
art
ingtopay
.IhearhiscryandIrunupt hestair
sandIgeti
nhisnursery
andItakehi
mi nmyar msandhushhim.Tearsweldmyey es.

Me:
"ar
eyouokbaby?"

Hekeepsoncr yi
ngandIcrywithhim andhekeepsqui et.Itakeabottl
eandsitonthecouch
andIf eedhim andhegoesbackt osleep.Ithoughtthi
sbabywoul dbemysav i
nggrace.The
actualthi
ngthatwouldsavemyal readyfal
l
ingapartmar r
iage.Iputhim downandtakethe
babymoni torandgodownt hestairsandisitonthehighchairandgulpthewinefr
om myglass
andt r
yhim oncemor e.Iholdt
hepaperl ookingatitandICry.Itt
akesmet ovoi
cemail.

Me:
"Babypl
easecomeback.Letmeexpl
ain.Pl
easeZi
qubu"

Idi
dn'
tthi
nkhewoul
dsot
heDNAt
estt
hissoon.Thebabyi
sonl
y4mont
hs.

_
___
__[
Flashback]

Dr:
"Youl
ookok,
youar
efr
eet
ogo"

Me:
"Thanky
ou"
Henoddedandwal kedout.Idi dn'
ttellIngathi
thatIhadasurgerytoremovemywombal lhe
thi
nksi sthatIam pregnantduet omywei ghtgainaswellbuti twaswayt odamagedforany
repairthatcanhappenandIwi shIdidn'tdoanyoft hosei
ll
egalaborti
ons.Iwalkedoutofmy
wardandgoti nanelevatorandIpr essedt hegroundfl
oor.Itwentdownt henIgotoutandI
sawababyst r
oll
eratthepassageandt hemot herseemstobebusyatt herecepti
on.I
searchedev erywherebeforepushingt hebabyasqui ckasIcanwithme.Whenwegotout si
de
i
tstar t
edcr y
ingandIleftthestrol
lerandt ookthebabyandr antothecar.

_
___
_

Idi
dn'
tmeantost
ealt
hebabybutIwantedtopl
easemyhusband.Iknowhewantsababy.The
wayhewashappywhenIwaspregnanttol
dmehewantedababy.Itri
edhi
m againandi
twas
off
.Icr
iedanddr
anksomewine.Bongil
ewon'
tevenpi
ckupmycallsaswel
l.Thi
sismessedup.

★SI
ZA★

Thesepastfewday st
hingshavebeenver ypeacefulathome.Iwoul dsayIam happyandAi za
i
streat
ingmev erywell
.Hesendschocol ateandar osewithali
tt
lenoteforeachday,Iwonder
howlongwillhekeepthisupbutIshoul
dgetr idofthosenegati
vethoughts.TodayIdecidedto
gohomeandv i
sitmyparents.I
thasbeenami nut
e.Idr i
veinmyoldneighborhoodandIget
i
ntoourstr
eet.Iparkthecarinfr
ontofthegateandt akemybagandt heli
tt
legrocer
iesandI
getoutandlockthedoor.

"
Sizakel
e!"

It
urnandi
t'
sMaZuma,
shecomescl
oset
othef
ence.

MaZuma:
"kwakuhl
euku'
kbonauphi
l
auconsa(i
t'
ssogoodt
oseey
oual
i
veandl
ooki
nggood)"

Il
i
ghtl
augh.

Me:
"ngi
yabonga.NawemAh(
Thanky
ou,
yout
ooman)
"

MaZuma:
"Howi
sev
ery
thi
ngathome?"

Me:
"it
'sgood"

Shenodded.

MaZuma:
"youneedt
ocl
eansemychi
l
d.Youhav
eadar
kcl
oudov
ery
ouandy
ourGodgi
ven
mar
ri
age.Vi
sitmeaf
tery
ourpar
ent
sandwewi
l
ltal
k"

Iam conf
usedsoIjustnod.Shewal
ksawayandIwal
kedi
nsi
det
hehousewi
thoutknocki
ng
andMahcl osedt
hecurtai
n.Sheheldherhi
ps.

Mom:
"whatwer
eyout
alki
ngaboutwi
thher?"

Shel
ookspi
ssed.

Me:
"shewasaski
ngmehowIam "

Shel
ookedatmeandcl
i
ckedhert
ongue.

Me:
"howar
eyou?"

Mom :
"don'
tl
ist
ent
oher
.Shewant
stodest
royy
ourmar
ri
age."

Me:
"ok,
wher
eisdad?"

Mom :
"wor
k"

Me:
"Zami
l
e?"

Mom :
"herr
oom "

Me:
"letmegogr
eether"

Ist
oodupandwentt
oherr
oom.Iknockedandopenedt
hedoor
.Shewasl
ayi
ngonherbedand
shesatup

Me:
"hi
"

Ismi
l
ed.

Zami
l
e:"whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"

Me:
"icamet
oseey
'al
l"

Zami
l
e:"Idon'
twantt
oseey
ou"

Me:
"Iam sor
ry"

Zami
l
e:"y
ouar
enot!Youar
eli
vi
ngmyl
i
fewi
thnowor
ri
es."

Tear
swel
dedmyey
es.

Me:
"it
'snotal
lroses"

Zami
l
e:"y
eahbecausei
t'
snoty
our
s.Iwi
shy
oucangetkar
maf
orwhaty
oudi
d."
Me:
"Zami
l
e"

Zami
l
e:"getout!
"

"Kwenzakal
ani
lah?
!(what
'sgoi
ngonher
e?!
)"

Mom wal
ksi
n.IpushherandIwal
koutoft
hehousecr
ying.Iwi
pemyt
ear
s.

"
Sizakel
e"

It
urnandr
ememberMaZumacal
l
edmet
oherhouse.

★BONGI
LE★

Me:
"Ai
zaBi
yase,
AizaBi
yase,
AizaBi
yase"

Ispil
lthewat
erovermybodyandi si
tforawhilebef
oreIgetout.Igoandl
oti
onandget
dressedandthedoorbell
rings.Imakemywaydownt hestai
rsandIopenthedoorandhei
s
standingt
her
e.Heki ssesmeandIki sshim backandhebreaksitof
f.

Ai
za:
"Iam sor
ryf
orwhatIdi
dtoy
oubaby
."

Me:
"it
'sok"

Myhear
twast
wer
king.

Ai
za:
"Canwegetbackt
oget
her?"

Inodded.

Me:
"whataboutSi
za?
"

Ai
za:
"Iwi
l
ldi
vor
ceher"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Iki
ssedhi
m..
..
..
.

.
..
..

"
Yey
iwenav
ukauy
ekeukucabuzananemoy
a(hey!
wakeupandst
opki
ssi
ngt
heai
r)"
Iopenedmyey
esandmom wasst
andi
ngt
her
eopeni
ngt
hecur
tai
ns.

Mom :
"youhav
etogoandbat
h."

Me:
"It
houghti
twasr
eal
"

Mom :
"whati
sreal
?"

Me:
"thedr
eam "

Mom :
"shamecome"

Igotof
fthebed.If
eltdi
sappoi
nted.

★KAMOGELO★

Igoti
nmyflyandhefol
lowedBenme.Iputt
heshoppi
ngbagsont
hecouchandi
tur
nedt
ohi
m
andheki
ssedmyl i
ps.

I
ngat
hi:
"woul
dyoubet
rayme?
"

Me:
"no"

I
ngat
hi:
"don'
tiwi
l
ltr
eaty
oul
i
keaqueenandy
ouwi
l
lli
beagoodl
i
fe"

Inodded.

Heki
ssedmyl
i
psagai
n.

Ungat
hi:
"Ihav
etogo.Iwi
l
lseey
ou"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Ungat
hi:
"youar
ewel
come"

Inoddedandhewal
kedout
.Isi
ghedandt
hrewmy
sel
font
hecouch.

Me:
"OhmyGod"

Ibl
ushed.Thewayhei
streat
ingmel
atel
yisspi
nechi
l
li
ng.Iwonderwhat
'shappeni
ng
bet
weenhim andhi
swi
fe.

.
.

★SI
ZA★

Mazumamadeteaforsandshesatdown.Wewer
ebot
hqui
etf
oramoment.Imademyt
ea
andshel
ookedatme.

MaZuma:
"yourmar
ri
agehasadar
kcl
oud"

Isi
ppedonmyt
ea.

MaZuma:
"yoursi
ster"

Me:
"what?"

MaZuma:
"uf
akei
schi
thoempi
l
weni
yakho(sheputonbl
ackmagi
ciny
ourl
i
fe)
"

Me:
"shei
smadbutshewoul
dn'
tdot
hat"

MaZuma:"i
t'
smentforAizatol
oveherbutheispr
otectedbyhisfat
her
.Hi
sact
ionswi
l
lchange
t
houghbuthewi
llst
il
llov
ey ou.Youarebothmentforeachother"

Ican'
tbel
i
evet
his.

Me:
"wow"

MaZuma:
"gohomeandt
hinkaboutwhatIhav
esai
d."

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT10
★LI
NDI★

GraceisattheNurserylooki
ngaf
terNj
abul
o.Thekitchendoorthatleadstot hegar
ageopens
andIlookathim walkinsi
deandheplaceshiscarkeysandgoest othef r
idgeandtakesouta
beerandclosesi
tandt urnstome.Iam gladtoseehim butIam sweating.

Me:
"ing.
."

Her
aisedhi
shand.

I
ngat
hi:
"Forhowl
ongwer
eyougoi
ngt
oli
e?"

Ikeptqui
et.

I
ngat
hi:
"Idon'
tknowt
hewomanImar
ri
ed"

Tear
spr
ickl
emyey
es.Igott
ohi
ssi
deandhol
dhi
swai
st.

Me:
"Babyi
t'
sst
il
lme. Thesamewomany
oumar
ri
ed."

I
ngat
hi:
"IguessIdi
dn'
tchecki
fshei
sal
i
erandast
eal
er."

Hewal
kedof
f.

Me:
"Ingat
hi!"

Hei
gnor
edandmeandIhel
dont
omychestandcr
ied.Iwon'
tl
oosemymar
ri
age.No.
..
.no.

★BONGI
LE★

Il
ookedatmymotherget
ti
ngcosyi
nmyhouse.Shewassupposedt
oleav
eal
ongt
imeagobut
shei
ssti
llher
eandIwonderwhy
.

Me:
"whenar
eyougoi
nghome?"

Mom :
"wheny
oumar
ryt
hatboy"

Me:
"hai
bogohome"

Mom :
"andl
eav
eyoui
nthi
shouse?Nev
er"

Sheat
eherf
ood.
Me:
"Mxm.Gol
ddi
gger"

Mom :
"li
key
ou.Ev
engoi
ngt
otr
adi
ti
onal
heal
ers"

Me:
"yout
ookmet
oone"

Mom :
"whoaskedf
orone?"

Ikeptqui
et.

Mom :
"exact
ly.Don'
tev
enst
artwi
thme"

Me:
"letmegoandsunbat
heout
side."

Mom :
"appl
yoi
ntment
ssoy
oucangetr
idof
ftheMar
ks,
"

Me:
"Iwi
l
llat
er."

Il
eftheri
ntheki
tchenandi
wentout
sideandsatbyt
hepool
side.

★SI
ZA★

WhatMaZumasai dt
omei sgett
ingmet hi
nki
ng,woul
dZamil
ereal
lydot
hatt
ome.?Whywould
shedosuchallf
oraman.If eelhur
tandbetr
ayedaswel
l.IgothomeandIthr
ewmyshoes
offandpacedupanddowntheloungecall
i
ngAiza.Hepi
cksupaft
ersometi
me.

Me:
"Baby"

Ai
za:
"what
'swr
ongZaza?
"

Me:
"It
saboutus"

Ai
za:
"don'
ttel
lmey
ouar
eleav
ingme"

Me:"no.No.Iwast
oldIneedtocl
eansebecauseIhav
eadar
kcl
oudandt
hatsomeonehas
putacur
seonourmarr
iage."

Ai
za:
"thi
sissensi
ti
ve.Ihav
etocomehome.Iwi
l
lbet
her
eok?"

Me:
"ok"

HehungupandIsatont
hecouch.I
fthi
sisr
eal
l
ytr
uet
henwow,
peopl
ear
ereal
l
yev
ilf
ort
hese
ki
ndofst
uff
.
.

★KAMOGELO★

Myphoneri
ngsaskam cooki
ng.Iam f
eel
i
ngabi
tjoy
ful
aswel
l
.WhenIseewhoi
scal
l
inga
smi
lefor
msontomyfaceasIanswer .

Me:
"Hel
l
o"

I
ngat
hi:
"howar
eyou?"

Me:
"iam good.Iam cooki
ng"

I
ngat
hi:
"Hav
eyout
houghtaboutst
udy
ingbef
ore?"

Ikwptqui
et.Iam notsmar
tandIdi
dpassmymat
ri
cwi
thabachel
orbutmyApsscor
ewasn'
t
enoughtogetmein.

Me:
"Yes,
butInev
ergoti
n."

I
ngat
hi:
"whatdoy
ouwantt
ost
udy?
"

Me:
"medi
a"

I
ngat
hi:
"ok.Sendmey
ourmat
ri
crepor
tandt
henIwi
l
lpul
lsomest
ri
ngs."

Me:
"Whyar
eyoudoi
ngt
his?"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iwanty
out
ost
udy"

Me:
"Iam notdumb.Iwi
l
lal
way
sbei
ndebtt
oyou"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iam j
usthel
pingout"

Me:
"mmh"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iam comi
ng"

Me:
"yourwi
fe?"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iam comi
ng.Wearsomet
hingni
ce"

Me:
"ok"

HehangsupandIsi
gh.Iknowhei
sly
ing.Iwi
l
lal
way
sowehi
m.
.

★SI
ZA★

Iheart
hecarpul
lupandIr
ushoutoft
hehouseandgot
owar
dshi
m andhecat
chesme.

Ai
za:
"what
'swr
ong?"

Me:"Mysister
.Shei
stheonewhooutthi
sov
erus.It
'ssai
ditwasmentf oryoutol
oveherbut
youar
eprotect
edbybaba.That
'swhyy
ouhavebeenact
ingoffbecauseofthat
."

Ai
za:
"Thef
uck.!Wear
egoi
ngt
oThembi
sa!"

Hewal
kedt
owar
dst
hecar
.

Me:
"cal
m down"

Igoti
nfr
ontofhi
m.

Me:
"let
'sgetcl
eansed"

Ai
za:
"whati
fshedoesi
tagai
n?"

Me:
"let
'snott
hinki
rr
ati
onal
l
y"

Ai
za:
"Iam somad"

Ihol
dhi
swai
st.

Me:
"Iam hur
t"

Hesi
ghs.

Ai
za:
"Iam sor
ry."

Me:
"it
'sok."

Il
ookathi
m andheki
ssesme.

Ai
za:
"whenshoul
dwecl
eanse?
"

Me:
"weshoul
dtal
ktoMaZumaaboutt
hat
"

Henodded.

Azi
a:"any
thi
ngt
ogetusbet
ter
.Iwanti
ttobeov
er"
Me:
"met
oo."

Heki
ssesme.

Ai
za:
"canIt
akey
ouupst
air
s?"

Ishy
edof
fnoddi
ngandhechuckl
edandpi
ckedmeupwal
ki
ngi
nsi
det
hehouse.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT11

★LI
NDI★

Iwal
kedi
nourbedr
oom andhewaspacki
ngmycl
othes.

Me:
"Babypl
ease."

I
ngat
hi:
"Iwi
l
ltakethatbabytothepol
icest
ati
onandtr
ytofi
ndit
'sowner
.Howdoy
out
hinkt
he
womanwhobir
thedthatchi
ldfeel
sri
ghtnoworwhatshei
sgoingthr
ough?!
"

Her
oar
ed.

Me:
"BabyIam sor
ry"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iwanty
ououtofmyhousei
nthenexthour
s."

Me:
"youcan'
tl
eav
eme"

I
ngat
hi:
"wat
chme"
Me:
"babypl
ease"

Icr
awl
edt
ohi
m.

I
ngat
hi:
"Li
ndi
we"

Me:
"pl
easebabypl
ease.Iam sor
rywecanr
etur
nthebaby"

Hehuf
fed.

I
ngat
hi:
"Iwi
l
lbeback"

Het
ookhi
scarkey
sandhewal
kedout
.

★SI
ZA★

Heheldtheweaveinhishandsupandhescrubbedmybackwhi
leIhel
dmyboobs.Hewashed
i
tslowlyandt
henletgooftheweaveandwenttomyboobsandtouchedt
hem ,
squeezi
ngthem
andpinchi
ngmynipplesaswell
. Hekissedmyneckasthewar
m waterf
ell
ont
oourbodies.

Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Ai
za:
"Iwi
l
lbebet
terf
ory
ou."

Me:
"weshoul
dtal
ktoMaZuma"

Ai
za:
"wewi
l
lgot
oni
ght
"

Inoddedandheranhi
shandst
omywai
standpul
l
edmet
ohi
m andki
ssedmyneckoncemor
e,
Icl
osedmyey es.

_
___
_

Heki
ssedmyl
i
psandIpul
l
edback.

Me:
"Oops"

Il
aughed,
cov
eri
ngmymout
h.

Me:
"Thatwasawei
rdmi
stake."

Hej
ustl
ookedatmeandchuckl
edabi
tbuthel
dmycheeksandki
ssedmyl
i
ps.
Me:
"Ai
za"

Ibr
okei
tof
f.

Ai
za:
"Ineedy
ouSi
za"

Me:
"youar
egr
iev
ingandt
hisi
syourf
ather
'shouse.Wehav
etor
espectt
hat"

Ai
za.:
"Youar
emywi
fe"

Me:
"fakewi
fe"

Ai
za:
"myf
eel
i
ngsar
en'
tfakeatt
hemoment
"

Il
ookedathi
m andheki
ssedmeandaf
tersomet
imeIr
espondedaswel
landhel
aidmeback
onthebedandgotonme.

Me:
"Ai
za"

Iputmyhandsonhi
schest
.

Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
ouSi
za.Notasaf
ri
endbutmor
e"

Iwasshocked.

Ai
za:
"Myr
elat
ionshi
psdon'
tl
astbecauseofy
ou."

Me:
"whatdi
dIdo?"

Ai
za:
"it
sbecauseIdamnl
ovey
ouwi
thmywhol
ehear
tthatt
her
eisnospace"

Me:
"Wow,
whataboutBongi
l
e?"

Ai
za:
"ifIl
oveherIwoul
dhav
emar
ri
edheri
nst
eadofy
ou"

Me:
"what?"

Heshutmeupwi
thaki
ssandhel
dmywai
stdeepeni
ngi
tint
oapassi
onat
eki
ss.

Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
ou"

_
___
_

Iopenedmyey
esandt
hewar
mthf
rom t
hewat
erwasst
art
ingt
ogetcol
d.

Me:
"it
'sget
ti
ngcol
d"

Ai
za:
"let
'sgetout"

Inoddedandwef
ini
shedup.
.

★KAMOGELO★

Il
oti
onedmybodyafterbat
hingandiworemysilkpy
jamasandgownandIwenttotheki
tchen
andcheckedmystoveandthedooropenedandIwenttothel
oungeandhewal
kedi
nandt hr
ew
hi
scarkeysonthecoff
eetableandcametomeandki ssedmyneck.

I
ngat
hi:
"It
houghtIsai
dyoushoul
dwearni
ce?"

Me:
"Il
i
kemypy
jamas"

Hechuckl
edandsatont
hecouch.

I
ngat
hi:
"itseemswar
minher
e."

Me:
"wher
eisy
ourwi
fe?"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iam nother
eforher
."

Inodded.

Me:
"ok"

Idi
dn'
tknowwhattodobecausewhenwemeeti
t'
sei
therwearefucki
ngorhegi
vesmemoney
.
Theshoppi
ngexper
iencef
rom t
odaywasr
eal
l
yashoppingexper
ience

Me:
"Icooked"

I
ngat
hi:
"Whatdi
dyoucook?"

Me:
"Imadesomepapandchakal
akay
ouknow"

Henodded.

I
ngat
hi:
"di
shupf
orme"

Inoddedandwalkstothekit
chentodishupf
orhim andt
henItooki
ttohi
m andhethankedme.
Thisi
sallwei
rd.Hest ar
tedeati
ngandIwenttodri
nkwateratt
heki
tchenbef
orecomingback
andhewashal fwaythr
oughhisplat
e.

I
ngat
hi:
"thi
sisdi
ff
erentpap"
Me:
"yeahI
tis.I
thascheeseandmor
eingr
edi
ent
s"

I
ngat
hi:
"Mmmmhy
ouar
ereal
l
ycr
eapi
ngy
ourway"

Idi
dn'
tknowwhathementbutIi
gnor
edhi
m andwat
chedhi
m cl
eanhi
spl
ate.

★BONGI
LE★

Li
ndi
:"i
t'
smessedup.Hei
sgoi
ngt
oleav
eme!"

Shecr
iedov
ert
hephone.

Me:
"phephi
sa,
nawekodwamngani
usungazeuy
int
sont
se?(Sor
ry,
butf
ri
endy
ouhadt
ost
eal
i
t?)
"

Li
ndi
:"Iwasdesper
atel
i
key
ouwer
edesper
atef
orpot
ionsf
orAi
zat
olov
eyouback"

Me:
"thi
sisdi
ff
erent
.Youst
oleahuman"

Li
ndi
:
"youar
ebei
ngj
udgement
al"

Me:"noIam j
ustpoi
nti
ngoutt
hedi
ff
erences.Dosomet
hingf
ory
ourhusband.Doeshehav
e
ot
hercousi
ns?"

Li
ndi
:"whatdoy
ouwant?Ai
zaort
hecousi
ns?"

Me:
"bot
htobal
ance"

Li
ndi
:"mxm ,
wil
lsee"

Me:
"thankschai
o"

Li
ndi
:
"Iam notdone."

Ihungupandt
ookmynai
lpol
i
sh.

Mom :
"wewi
l
lbeoutofgr
ocer
iessoon"

Shesai
dwal
ki
ngi
nthel
ounge"

Me:
"we?"

Mom:
"yes."

Me:
"Il
i
veal
one"
Mom :
"makeapl
anbef
orewegohungr
y"

Me:
"wheni
sthi
ssupposedt
owor
k?"

Mom :
"goandbat
h"

Inoddedandshewal
kedof
f.Icar
ri
edondoi
ngmynai
l
s.

★AI
ZA★

ididn'
tknowhowt ofeelwit
hwhatSizasai
dtome.Ireall
yneedtoseeZamil
efacet
ofaceand
seewher eshegotthegutstodosuch.WegottoMaZuma' shouseandwegotoutoft
hecar.
Sizaheldmyhandandwewal kedi
nsidet
heyar
dandweknockedont hedoor
.Itwasgett
ing
l
at eandcold.Thedooropenedandtheoldwomansmiled.

MaZuma:
"youcameback"

Si
za:
"hel
l
o,Ibr
oughtmyhusband"

MaZuma:
"Icansee.Ihopehewi
l
lunder
standandagr
ee"

Me:
"any
thi
ng"

MaZuma:
"wel
lcomei
n"

Wewal
kedi
nsi
det
hehouseandhecl
osedt
hedoor
.Iam r
eadyf
orany
thi
ngt
hat
'sneeded.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT12
It
ookasi
pof
fthet
eaandputmycupdown.Icouldseet
hatAizai
sabi
timpat
ientatt
he
moment
.MaZumahol
dshercupasshef
ini
shedtaki
nghersi
p.

MaZuma: "ent
sukwiniezi
dlul
ebengingakhul
uleki
l
eemoyeni,
ngat
hint
aabaphansibangi
boni
se
andangikut
handandangaengikubonil
e(afewdaysagoIwasn'
tokinmysoul.Ital
kedtothe
Ancest
orstoshowmeandIdi dn'tl
i
ket her
esul
ts)"

Ai
za:
"Whatnow?"

MaZuma:"Youdon'tneedmuch, ukufakei
sidl
i
so.Idi
ngaukuphahl
auphal
azeukhi
pheKhona
mesengi
yanikhul
ekelel
angi
niqi
nise(sheputalov
epot i
on.Youneedtodothi
sri
tual
thenIwi
ll
pr
ayfory
oubot hsoyoucanbeok) "

Il
ookedatAi
za.

MaZuma:"comet omor
rowandwewi l
lst
art.Wewi l
lthenprayfr
om 0h00to3h00.Iwi
l
lgi
ve
youasetofcandles.Burnt
hem intheroom nexttoyourbedroom andl
eavet
hem on,t
henyou
wil
ldr
inkt
heHol ywaterIwi
llpr
ayforandy ouwill
dri
nkitSizati
ll
tomorrow"

Inodded.Shest
oodupandwal
kedof
f.Ihel
dAi
za'
shand.

Me:
"it
'sgoi
ngt
obeok"

Ai
za:
"Idon'
tknowabouty
oursi
ster
."

Me:
"let
'sf
orgetherandf
ocusonus."

Ai
za:
"Iam sor
ry"

Me:
"It
snoty
ourf
aul
t."

Henodded.MaZumacamebackaf
tersomet
imewi
tha2Lwat
erbot
tl
eandasetofcandl
es
andsheputt
hem ont
het
abl
e.

MaZuma:"t
heRedcandl
eyouwi
l
lbur
nital
one.I
t'
sfory
ourenemi
es,
itwi
l
lfi
ghtt
hem of
fand
al
sorev
ealt
hem "

Ai
za:
"wi
l
ltheynot
ice?"

MaZuma:
"Notatal
l
."

Wenodded.

MaZuma:
"Whi
tecandl
eisf
orpeaceandhar
monyt
haty
ouwantupony
ourl
i
feandmar
ri
age."

Inodded.

MaZuma:
"thepur
pleonei
sgoi
ngt
obr
eaky
ourcur
sesSi
zakel
eandf
ightof
fbadspi
ri
tsaswel
l
"

Shest
andsupandgoest
otheki
tchenandcomesbackwi
thapl
ast
icandput
sev
ery
thi
ngi
nsi
de.

MaZuma:
"Youmaygof
ort
oday
.Remembert
oleav
ethem bur
ningunt
ilt
heybur
ndown"

Me:
"YesMan.Thanky
ou"

Ai
za:
"thanky
ou"

MaZuma:
"Mypl
easur
e.Comet
omor
rowandwewi
l
ldot
hecl
eansi
ng"

Wenoddedandt
hankedheroncemor
ebefor
ewewal
kedout
.Ilookedathomeandmyhear
t
wasj
ustheav
y.Ij
ustcan'
tbel
iev
eshedi
dthat
.Wegoti
nthecarandhedroveof
f.

★ZAMI
LE★

Seei
ngSizati
ckedmeof
fandgotmemor
eangr
y.Shei
sher
etor
ubi
tinmyf
acenowandt
hat
j
ustangersme.

Dad:
"Si
tdownMkami
andwat
chTV"

Wewer
eeat
ingatt
hel
oungel
ateatni
ght.Mom waspeaki
ngt
hrought
hewi
ndow.

Mom:
"Heehi
sthatSi
zakel
e?Whati
sshedoi
nggoi
ngi
ntot
hatwi
tcheshouse?
"

Me:
"whathouse?"

Mom :
"MaZuma"

Ikeptqui
et.Wecar
ri
edoneat
ingandmom wasst
il
lbyt
hewi
ndow.

Mom:
"her
etheywal
koutwi
thMkhweny
ana"

Ist
oodupandwentt
othewindow.Ohthatmanisper
fect
lymade,Iwoul
dlookgoodashi
s
wif
etoobutt
hei
mageofSizakel
enextt
ohimtur
nsmeof fandmakesmeangry.

Mom :
"Si
zakel
edi
sobey
edme!
"

Dad:
"may
bey
ouar
eseei
ngpeopl
e"

Mom :
"iti
s"

Theygoti
nthecarandi
tdr
oveof
f.
Me:
"theydi
dn'
tev
enpassi
nsi
de"

Mom :
"Ineedt
ogi
veheramout
hful
l"

Shet
ookherphonef
rom herboobsandwal
kedof
f.

Me:
"Wow"

Dad:
"whenar
eyoumov
ingout?"

Me:
"Iwon'
t"

Heshookhi
shead.Iknowhewant
edt
osaysomet
hing.

★KAMOGELO★

Heplayedonthebedl
ookingatt
hecei
li
ng.Heseemedt
obedeepi
nthought
sashi
sfeetwer
e
dangl
ingovert
hebed,
Itouchedhi
schest.

Me:
"Gohomeandsor
tev
ery
thi
ngout
."

Hel
ookedatme.

I
ngat
hi:
"Let
'ssaywear
emar
ri
edandy
oucan'
thav
eki
dsatal
l
.Woul
dyout
ell
me?"

Iswal
l
owed.

Me:
"itwoul
dn'
tbeaseasybutIwoul
dbecauset
her
ecanbeadopt
ion"

I
ngat
hi:
"Idon'
tl
ikeadopt
ion"

Me: "i
twouldbehardbecausefir
stinst
inctisbei
ngscar
edofl
oosi
ngyoubutIwouldtel
lyou,
atl
eastifwemakebabydecisionsli
kehav i
ngababyIknowwherei
tcomesfrom andnotresent
yourchil
dbecauseIcan'
tproduceonefory ou."

I
ngat
hi:
"Ify
oucoul
dst
eal
ababywoul
dyou?"

Me:"No,Ican'ti
maginethewomanwhowill
loosethatbaby.Thepai
nshewi l
lbei
n.Whent
he
hol
dgrowsupt hetr
uthwill
comeoutandt
hechildwil
lresenty
ou.I
t'
sunecessar
ydramat
hat
coul
dbeavoidedandalotofpai
n."

Hepul
l
smet
ohi
m andki
ssesmeandIr
espondt
ohi
ski
ss,
hebr
okei
tof
f.
I
ngat
hi:
"Iam goi
ngt
opl
aygol
ftomor
row,
doy
ouwantt
ocome?"

Me:
"It
houghtt
hisi
spr
ivat
e"

I
ngat
hi:
"wecanchanget
hings."

Me:
"Idon'
tknowhowt
opl
aygol
f"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iwi
l
lteachy
ou"

Me:
"whyar
eyoubei
ngni
ce?"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iam l
i
ket
his"

Inodded.Hel
aidmeonhi
schestandhi
sphoner
ang.

Me:
"takei
t.I
tmi
ghtbei
mpor
tant"

Hel
ookedati
t.Andi
tfl
asheshi
swi
fe,
hei
gnor
esi
t.

Me:
"itmi
ghtbet
hechi
l
d"

I
ngat
hi:
"Idon'
thav
eki
ds"

Idi
dn'
taskanyf
urt
her
.

★SI
ZA★

WegothomeandIwentt
otheguestr
oom andi
didasinstr
uctedandpr
ayedaswel
lfort
hist
o
wor
k.Iclosedmyey
esandIsawav i
vi
dimageofBongil
ebathing.

"
AizaBi
yasecomebackt
ome"

Iopenedmyey esandhel
dmychest.Whyar
epeopl
edoingt
his?.Ist
oodupandcl
osedthe
doorandthenwenttoourbedr
oom.Hewasalr
eadypay
ingi
nbed.Igoti
nbet
weenthecover
s
andhepulledmetohim.

Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Inodded.

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Icl
osedmyey
esandsl
ept
.Iwokeupi
nthemor
ningandt
hebedwasempt
y.Iwentt
ochur
ch
onthecandl
esandtheywer
ealmostout.Iwenttomaket
hebedanddi
dmyhy
gieneandt
hen
wentdownthestai
rsandAi
zawasintheki
tchen.

Me:
"goodmor
ning"

Ai
za:
"Goodmor
ning.Wear
egoi
ngf
orgol
f"

Me:
"ok"

Ai
za:
"MaZumacal
l
edandsai
dit
'sbestwecomei
ntheaf
ter
noon"

Me:
"Ok"

Isatonthehighchai
randhegav
emepancakesandi
laughed.Hespr
ayedscr
eam ont
hem
andchocolat
esauce.

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Hesmiled.Ist
art
edeati
ngthenIwashedt
hedishesandwenttochangei
ntotheout
fi
tfort
he
dayandhetookhist
hingsandwewalkedoutandloadedev
ery
thi
nginthecarandgoti
nandhe
drov
eof f
.

★LI
NDI
★

Gr
ace:
"Madam ar
eyouok?"

Me:
"Iam f
ine"

Shenoddedandwalkedoutoftheki
tchen.Isi
ppedthewhi
skyandt
ookmyphoneandt
ri
edhi
m
fort
ehundredt
hti
meandi tgoestovoicemail
.Isni
ff
.

Me:
"babypl
easecomehome"

IhangupandIcr
y.Imessedupr
eal
l
ybad,
Ingat
hidoesn'
tfor
giv
eeasi
l
y.Ist
oodupandwent
upthest
air
s.

★ZAMI
LE★
Mom :
"shedi
dn'
ttakeanyofmycal
l
s"

Shewasscr
ubbi
ngt
hepassagemi
rr
or.

Me:
"vel
eshet
hinksshei
sbet
tert
hanusnow"

Mom :
"letmegoandt
alkt
othatwomant
ost
ayawayf
rom mychi
l
d"

Me:
"youdot
hat
!Shei
smendi
ngi
nourmat
ter
s."

Mom :
"car
ryoncl
eani
ngher
e"

Me:
"ok"

Shegavemethedi
gclot
handwal
kedof
f.Isi
ghed.Iwonderwhatt
heywentt
her
efor.Ihav
e
togoandseeNkal
angat
omorr
owmorni
ng.

★KAMOGELO★

Il
i
ckedt
hesauceof
fmyf
inger
sandt
ookt
hecof
feeanddr
anki
t.

I
ngat
hi:
"Don'
tspi
l
l"

Me:
"Iwon'
t.Rel
ax"

I
ngat
hi:
"Mmmh"

Iputt
hecof
feedownandcar
ryoneat
ing.

Me:
"soy
ouj
ustpl
aygol
fbecausey
ouwantt
o?"

I
ngat
hi:
"No,
forbusi
nesspur
posesandwi
thmyf
ami
l
ymember
s"

Me:
"Isee"

I
ngat
hi:
"Ihopey
ougetdonebecausewear
ear
ri
vi
ng"

Me:
"Iam done"

Ithr
ewt hecont
ainer
sinthepaperbagandheparkedthecarandwehoppedout .Istraightened
mycapandcl osedthedoor.HewenttothebootandtookouthisBagful
lofgolfsti
ckst hatI
don'
tknowwhatt heyar
eandclosedit.Wethenstar
tedwalkedoffandhelockedthecar .We
gotinsi
deandhewentt ogetwhatheneededandcamebackwi thkeysandtheyweref orthe
golfcar
t.Wegott oi
t.Hoppedonandhedr
ovetowher
ewearegoingtobeplayi
ngsomegol f,
thesearej
ustniceli
feprobl
emsshame.Hesl
oweddownasweappr oachedpeopl
ealready
playi
nggolfandthatj
erkwasther
easwell
.WegotoutandIf
eltt
heneedt ot
urnback.Thisi
s
notwhatIsignedupfor.

I
ngat
hi:
"Bi
yase!"

Theyhandshakeeachot
her
.Idon'
tl
ookatt
hem.

Hl
ubi
:"Mmmh"

I
ngat
hi:
"Thi
sisKamogel
o"

Guy:
"ni
cet
omeety
ouKamo"

Me:
"yout
oo"

Hl
ubi
:"Iwon'
tsayany
thi
ng"

I
ngat
hi:
"youBet
ter"

Her
aisedhi
sar
msandwenti
nwi
thpl
ayi
ng.Thi
swi
l
lbeal
ongday
.

I
ngat
hi:
"rel
axok?"

Inoddedandheper
kedmyl
i
ps.

Me:
"wear
einf
rontofpeopl
e"

I
ngat
hi:
"itdoesn'
tmat
ter"

Ishookmyheadaswet
ookoutgol
fst
icksandbal
l
stogoandpl
ay.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT13
★MABHEBHE★

Iwalkedi
nthiswi
tchesyard,Iwon'
tlethert
ryt
olur
emydaught
eri
nherwi
tchcr
aftact
ivi
ti
es.I
knockedonthedoorasIreachedi
tloudly
.

Me:
"Zuma!Comeout!"

Ihel
donmywai
st.Iknockedagai
n.

Me:
"Hay
iphumal
ah!(Comeout!)
"

Sheopenedt
hedoorhol
dingherBi
ble,
Icl
i
ckedmyt
ongue.

Me:
"whatwasSi
zakel
edoi
ngher
e?"

MaZuma:
"sawubonaMakhel
wane(hel
l
oNei
ghbor)
"

Me:
"Don'
tyoudar
emakememor
eangr
y"

MaZuma:"Shewasheretost
rengt
henhermar
ri
agef
rom t
hedar
kfor
cest
hatar
etr
yingt
o
dest
royi
tfr
om y
ourhouse"

Me:
"st
ayawayf
rom herorIwon'
tber
eli
abl
eforanydamageIdot
oyou"

Shewenti
nsi
deherhouseandcamebackwi
thasmal
lbot
tl
eofwat
erandt
wowhi
tecandl
es.

MaZuma:
"youneedpeacei
nyourl
i
fe"

Iopenedt
hewat
erbot
tl
eandspi
l
ledi
tonher
.

Me:
"tohel
lwi
thy
ourst
upi
dwat
er.St
ayawayf
rom Si
zakel
e!"

Icl
ickedmyt ongueandwalkedof
f.Icoul
dfeel
mybloodboi
li
ng,Ihav
etosortSi
zaout,
doesn'tsheknowpeopleuseMagict
odestr
oypeopl
e'
sli
ves?Whendidshebecomedumb?

★LI
NDI★

Thedoorbel
lrangandIwal
kedt
othedoorandIopenedandBongi
l
ecamei
n.

Bongi
l
e:"ohmyf
ri
end,
wher
eishe?"
Me:
"hel
eftl
astni
ght,
hedoesn'
tanswermycal
l
s"

Bongi
l
e:"t
hef
ri
endswekeep,
youdi
dn'
ttel
lmey
oust
oleababy"

Me:
"Bongi
l
e"

Bongi
l
e:"Oksor
ryneh"

Shewentt
osi
tatt
hel
ounge.

Bongi
l
e:"may
behei
scheat
ing"

Me:
"hecan'
tdot
hatt
ome"

Bongi
l
e:"f
ri
endl
ist
en.,Somet
imeskumel
euy
ithi
thi
zi
sei
ndodai
nyourf
avour(y
ouhav
eto
makethemanasnobinyourf
avour)
"

Me:
"whatdoy
oumean?"

Bongil
e:"y
ouknowwher
etof
indanswer
s.Iam hungr
yIwasatt
hemymot
her
'sandshei
snot
ther
e."

Me:
"Gr
acecooked"

Bongi
l
e:"di
shup.Ev
eni
nTupper
wear,
Idon'
twantt
ocookt
oday"

Me:
"sur
e"

Bongi
l
e:"l
etmeseet
hel
i
ttl
eone"

Me:
"sur
e"

Shestoodupandwalkedupthest
air
swhil
eIwentt
odi
shupforher
.Ican'
tst
omachloosing
I
ngathi,wher
ewil
lIgoifIdo?Whatwil
lbeof
fme.?Nowomancantakemyplacenextt
ohim.

★BONGI
LE★

Iwal
kedupthestai
rs.Iranawayf
rom myhouseabi
t.Il
ookedatt
hisbabyandi
snotev
en
cl
osetol
ookingl
i
keI ngat
hi.

Me:
"Thi
sisdumb"

Thenannywal
kedi
n.
Me:
"awusemuhl
enana(y
ouar
esobeaut
if
ulnana)sayhi
toaunt
y"

Gr
ace:
"goodday"

Me:
"hi
"

Shemov
edt
owar
dst
hecotandImov
edawayandshet
ookt
hebaby
.

Me:
""l
etmegoandcheckonmyf
ri
end"

SheNoddedandIwal
kedout
.Thi
spot
ioni
sdel
ayi
ngme.

★AI
ZA★

It
ookl
oadedourt
hingsont
hegol
fcar
t.

Me:
"Baby"

Si
za:
"Mmh"

Shel
ookedatme.

Me:
"ar
eyousur
eyouar
eokwi
tht
his?"

Si
za:
"Iwantt
opl
aygol
fev
ent
houghIwi
l
lloose"

Ichuckl
edandshedr
ankherwat
er.

Me:
"andt
hat?"

Si
za:
"thehol
ywat
er.Thewat
erMaZumapr
ayedf
or"

InoddedandgotinandIdrov
eitof
f.Shewentt oherphoneandIstol
eglancesf
rom her
.Il
ove
herandIhopethi
sallwor
ks,thi
swholecl
eansingceremonyandmay beaft
ersometi
mewecan
tryagai
nforababy.Wegottotheguy
sandt heywerealreadypl
ayi
ng.Wehoppedoutandwe
tookourthi
ngs.

Thabani
:"i
t'
sgoodt
oseey
ouMr
s"

Si
za:
"it
'sgr
eatt
obeher
eguy
s"

Hl
ubi
:"Ai
za"

Me:
"Hl
ubi
"
Si
za:
"pl
easedon'
tfi
ght"

Hl
ubi
:"i
fit
'
snotneededwewon'
t"

I
ngat
hicamet
owar
dsuswi
thal
ady,
wher
eishi
swi
fe?

I
ngat
hi:
"Mr
sBi
yase"

Si
zal
aughed.

Si
za:
"wher
eisLi
ndi
?"

Gi
rl:
"Ineedsomewat
er"

Shewal
kedof
fandt
her
ewassi
l
ence.

Hl
ubi
:"l
eav
ehermanandst
oppl
ayi
nggames."

I
ngat
hi:
"Nt
andot
ell
yourmant
ost
ayi
nhi
slane"

Hl
ubi
:"don'
tyout
ell
mywi
fenot
hing"

Si
za:
"canwenotf
ightont
hisbeaut
if
ulday?"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iam l
eav
ing"

Me:
"heybr
owedi
dn'
tsayany
thi
ngabouty
ourchi
ck"

Si
za:
"Ingat
hist
ay"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iwon'
ti
fIam gonnaber
emi
ndedofLi
ndi
andIam di
vor
cingher
"

Hewal
kedof
f.

Si
za:
"Ai
zagot
alkt
ohi
m"

Me:
"hemadeuphi
smi
nd."

Si
za:
"IknowLi
ndi
isnotamazi
ngbuty
ouhav
etot
alkt
othem "

Thabani
:"l
et'
sgopl
aysomegol
f."

★I
NGATHI
★
Igott
othegol
fcar
tandputt
hegol
fst
icksawayandgoti
nsi
de.

Me:
"wear
eleav
ing"

Ist
art
edt
hecar
t

Kamo:
"Icant
akeacabbackt
omyf
lat
."

Me:
"Iwi
l
ltakey
out
her
e"

Kamo:"pl
easedon'
t.Ithi
nkweshoul
dcutt
ies.I
twasni
cei
npr
ivat
ebutt
his?Thi
sisnotwhatI
si
gnedupfororwastr
appedint
o"

Me:
"nowy
ouar
emaki
ngi
tseem l
i
keIwasf
ucki
ngmy
sel
f"

Kamo:
"Idi
dn'
taskf
ort
his,
got
oyourwi
feandl
eav
emeal
one"

Shecr
ied.

Me:
"Kamo"

Shewassi
l
ent
.

Me:
"whatdoy
ouwantmet
odo?"

Kamo:
"justst
opbei
ngi
ncont
actwi
thme"

Me:
"Ican'
tdot
hat"

Kamo:
"Iwon'
tbear
ebound"

Me:
"whosai
dany
thi
ngaboutbei
ngar
ebound"

Kamo:
"Iseei
ssueswhenIseet
hem "

Me:
"wear
ebackatmymar
ri
ageagai
n?"

Kamo:
"ify
ouwanttocarr
yont henl
et'
skeepi
taspr
off
esi
onal
ast
hef
ir
stagr
eementandIam
goi
ngt
otakeani
nject
ionagai
n.

Me:
"Cel
asi
ngany
elani
Kamogel
o(don'
tshi
tonmekamogel
o)"

Kamo:
"Idon'
twantababy
"

Me:
"wear
ehav
ingone.Fi
nishandkl
aar"

Kamo:
"it
'smybody"

Me:
"andi
t'
smydamnmoneyy
ouhav
eony
ou"
Thecar
tst
oppedandshet
ookof
fhert
opandcapandt
hrewi
tatmewi
tht
hesneaker
s.

Kamo:
"takey
ourmoney"

Shegotof
fwear
ingaspor
tbr
aandwhi
tesocks.Igotof
fandwentaf
terherandhel
dherupper
arm.

Me:
"got
othecar
.

Kamo:
"youwon'
ttel
lmewhatt
odo,
Iam nott
hatl
i
ttl
eKamoy
oumett
hef
ir
stt
ime"

Me:
"yougr
ewbal
l
s?"

Kamo:
"Igr
ewsomeboobs"

Me:
"li
stenher
eandl
i
stencar
eful
l
y.Isaywhol
eav
esmeandwhodoesn'
tunder
stood?"

Kamo:
"youar
epsy
cho

Me:
"got
othecar"

SheYanksherar
m andwal
ksof
f.

★MAZUMA★

Il
ightuptheyel
l
owandwhi t
ecandl
eandstar
ttopray,Icoul
dfeelt
heweightonmyshoul der
s
asIam prayi
ngandIam t
ryi
ngtopr
ayhar
derbuttheoutcomeisnotwhatIl
ike.Idon'
tfeel
at
peaceatall
.

Me:
"Nkosi
vikel
alomnt
wana(Lor
dpr
otectt
hischi
l
d)"

It
ryt
opr
ayagai
n.Ther
it
ual
wil
lbeasuccessbutherl
i
fei
sinf
orbi
ggert
hingsi
ntheendof
fit
al
l

Me:
"OhNkosi
"

Ihel
donmyknees.Thi
sisnotgood.Notgoodatal
l
..

★SI
ZA★
Ai
za:
"hol
ditl
i
ket
hisbaby"

Heshowsme.

Me:
"Iam "

Hecomesandst
andsbehi
ndmeandshowsme.

Ai
za:
"li
ket
hisandt
her
eyougo"

Me:
"ohl
i
ket
hat"

Ai
za:
"yes"

Hepul
l
smebymywai
standIf
eel
hiscr
otchonmybut
t."

Me:
"Ay
izewear
einf
rontofpeopl
e"

Ai
za:
"Thatski
rtl
ooksgoodony
ou"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Heki
ssesmynecksof
tl
y"

Ai
za:
"youar
etur
ningmeon"

Me:
"st
opi
t."

Ai
za:
"f
eel
"

Hepul
l
smecl
osert
ohi
m andIf
eel
hishar
deni
ng.

Me:
"st
opbei
ngsexual
"

Hechuckl
ed.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~
I
NSERT14

★KAMOGELO★

IgotoutofthecarassoonasheparkedandIwal
kedoutgoingtomyflat
.Hef ol
lowedaf
ter
meandIgoti nandclosedt
hedoorandheopeneditandgotinsi
deaswellandl
ookedatme
aft
erclosi
ngthedoor.

Me:
"what?"

I
ngat
hi:
"Si
ngacasul
ani
Kamogel
o(l
et'
snotpi
sseachot
herof
fKamogel
o)"

Me:
"orWhat,
youwi
l
lcont
rol
me?"

Hehol
dsmyneckt
ight
ly.

Me:
"Ah!"

I
ngat
hi:
"come"

Me:
"leav
emyneckal
one"

Hepushedmeint
othebedroom andhepushedmeont
othebedandher
ubbedhi
shandsand
l
if
tedt
heski
rtupwhil
elay
ingmedownandspankedmehard.

Me:
"ouchI
ngat
hi!"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iam goi
ngt
oteachy
ousomet
hingy
ouwi
l
lnev
erf
orget"

Me:
"Leav
emeal
one!"

Hespankedmeont
hesamespotagai
nthenki
ssedmybut
t.

I
ngat
hi:
"It
'saboutt
ober
oughKamo"

Iswal
l
owed.Hei
nser
tsaf
ingeri
ntomyPr
ivat
ear
ea.

I
ngat
hi:
"Hav
eyoudoneanal
?"

Me:
"don'
tyouev
endar
e"

Hechuckl
ed.

I
ngat
hi:
"Mmmhwegoi
ngt
ohav
efun"

Iwasnowscar
ed.
.

★LI
NDI★

Bongi
l
e:"t
hisi
sfoodi
sni
ce.Icoul
dhav
eital
ldayl
ong"

Me:
"youcandi
shupmor
e.Idoubthei
scomi
ngbackt
oday"

Bongi
l
e:"Ican'
tl
eav
eyoul
i
ket
his.May
beIshoul
dsl
eepov
er"

Ishr
ugged.

Bongi
l
e:"t
hinkaboutwhatIsai
d"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lnotusewi
tchcr
aftonmyhusband"

Bongi
l
e:oh,
stayl
i
ket
hatt
hen"

Me:
"yeahIwi
l
lst
ayl
i
ket
his"

Bongi
l
e:"l
etmegodi
shupsomemor
e"

Shegotupandwenttotheki
tchen.Isi
ghed.Ineedmom t
oint
erv
enewi
thdadatt
hispoi
nt,
I
can'
tdothi
sal
one.Ineedmyhusbandbackinmyar ms.Backhome

Bongi
l
e:"wher
ecanIgetwi
ne!
?"

Me:
"thecabi
net"

Bongi
l
e:"ohIseei
t"

Isi
ghedandt
ookmyphoneandt
ri
edhi
m agai
nandi
twasanswer
edt
hist
ime.

I
ngat
hi:
"Hel
l
o"

Me:
"Baby,
Ihav
ebeent
ryi
ngy
oual
lday"

I
ngat
hi:
"hav
eyoumov
edout?"

Iwasst
uck,
wor
dscoul
dn'
tcomeout.
hisbr
eat
hingwasheav
y.

I
ngat
hi:
"Shi
t!"

Hecur
sedunderhi
sbr
eat
h.

"
Oh.
..
."
IhungupwhenIhear
daf
emal
evoi
ceandt
ear
sst
reameddownmyey
es.Bongi
l
ecameback
andsatdown.

Bongi
l
e:"
what
'swr
ong?
"

Me:
"Hei
scheat
ingonme,
hej
ustki
ckedmeout"

Bongi
l
e:"whatnow?"

Me:
"Idon'
tknow"

Bongi
l
e:"myof
ferst
il
lst
ands"

Isi
ghed.Idon'
twantwhatBongi
l
eisr
efer
ri
ngmet
obecausei
twear
sof
faf
tersomet
ime.

★SI
ZA★

Assoonaswegothomewewentupt hest
air
stotakeashowerbefor
ewegott oMaZuma'
s
house.Mom hasbeencal
l
ingmeall
dayandIhavebeenignor
ingher,Idon'
twantt
otal
ktoher
asyet.Ai
zaplayswit
hmyclit
ori
swhil
ewashi
ngmybody .

Me:
"Ai
za"

Heki
ssedmyneck.

Ai
za:
"justaqui
ckone."

Me:
"Thatwi
l
ltakel
ongwehav
etol
eav
e"

Ai
za:
"West
il
lhav
eanhour"

Hespr
eadsmybut
tcheeksandIhearhi
m gr
oanbef
orehesl
i
ght
lyspanksone.

Me:
"Wear
edonebat
hing"

Hemakesmebendandspr
eadsmybut
tcheeksagai
nbef
orehesl
i
psi
nandi
bitmybot
tom l
i
p
ashegoesi
ndeeper
.

Ai
za:
"FuckSi
za"

Heki
ssesmybackandhol
dst
hesi
deofmywai
stwhi
l
ethr
ust
ingi
nsi
deandout
.

Me:
"mmmhAy
ize"
Ai
za:
"Iwi
l
lbedonequi
ckl
y"

Het
hrust
sfast
er.Ihol
dont
otheshowert
ap.

★ZAMI
LE★

Fl
orence:
"Howar
eyoudoi
ng?"

Me:
"Iam goodandy
our
sel
f?"

Fl
orence:
"Iam good,
lastt
imey
ouseeat
icki
ngt
imebomb"

Me:
"justoneoft
hoseper
iodmoodswi
ngs"

Fl
orence:
"ar
eyousur
e?"

Me:
"yesIam "

Ihearmom v
ent
ingont
odadwhatMaZumadi
dtoherwi
tht
wist
s.

Me:
"Ihav
etogo"

Fl
orence:
"okl
ove.By
e"

Me:
"by
ebabes"

Ihungupandgotof
fthebedandwentoutofmyroom.Thi
sSi
zasi
tuat
ioni
sscar
ingmeandi
hopeMaZumawon'tint
erf
erei
nwhathasnothi
ngtodowit
hher
.

Dad:
"yourmot
heri
sbei
ngdr
amat
ic,
youshoul
dgoapol
ogi
se"

Mom :
"nev
er"

Dad:
"shei
sapr
ophet
,may
beshesawsomet
hingt
hatSi
zaneedshel
pin."

Iswal
l
owed.

Me:
"fakepr
ophet
sexi
stnow"

Mom :
"exact
ly!
"

Dad:
"i
fany
thi
nghappenst
oSi
za.
..
."
Mom:
"itwi
l
lbeherf
aul
t"

Dad:
"noi
twi
l
lbey
our
s.Iwi
l
lbl
amey
ouf
ort
hei
gnor
anceofMaZumahel
pingher"

Hewal
kedof
ftot
hebedr
oom.Mom keptqui
et.

Me:
"mom "

Shel
ooksatme.

Mom :
"whatofshei
sri
ght?
"

Me:
"noshei
swr
ong"

Mom :
"thi
sismybabygi
rl
.Ihav
etocal
landt
alkt
oher"

Shewal
kedof
f.Not
hisi
sgoi
ngt
obackf
ir
e.Asal
way
sSi
zaal
way
sget
sthebenef
itoft
hedoubt
.

★KAMOGELO★

Assoonashel
aidnextt
omeIhi
thi
schest
.

I
ngat
hi:
"what?"

Me:
"whydi
dyoudoy
ourwi
fel
i
ket
hat?Real
l
ydude?"

I
ngat
hi:
"howi
sitf
eel
i
ng?
"

Het
ouchedmyki
tt
en.

Me:
"pai
nful
andbur
ning"

I
ngat
hi:
"cont
inuewi
thy
ourepi
sodesandy
ouwi
l
lgetpuni
shed."

Hi
spuni
shment
sar
eni
cet
hen.

Me:
"hav
eyouev
erl
aidy
ourhandonawoman?
"

I
ngat
hi:
"Idon'
tbel
i
evei
nthat"

Me:
"thenwhatwer
eyoudoi
ngwi
thmyneck?
"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iam sor
ryl
etmeki
ssi
t."
Heki
ssesi
t.

I
ngat
hi:
"andy
ourwhol
ebody"

Me:
"Mmmh"

Hest
art
stoki
ssmybodyandget
sonme

I
ngat
hi:
"wear
egonnahav
eal
i
ttl
ebabyr
ight?"

Inoddedandhesl
i
ppedi
nmyheadt
hrewback.Heki
ssedmyneckashet
hrust
ed.

I
ngat
hi:
"FuckKamodon'
tbet
raymeok?
"

Inodded.

I
ngat
hi:
"ok?"

Me:
"ok"

Ibi
tmybot
tom l
i
pashekeptongoi
ng.

★SI
ZA★

Wef ini
shedourshowerandgotdressedthenwewentoutofthehouseandgotint
hecar.Ai
za
droveoffandIwasquietnervousal
ongthewayandwhatmightawai t
sus.Aizahoppedoutof
thecarAndsowasI .Wecl osedthedoorandhel
ockedthecarandwemadeourwayi nthe
yard.WeknockedandMaZumaopenedandshesmi led.

MaZuma:
"comei
n"

Wewal
kedi
nsi
deandshehadherhousequi
etandcandl
esset
.

Mazuma:
"comet
omyr
oom "

Wefoll
owedhertoherconsul
ti
ngr
oom andwetookoffourshoesandsett
leddownandshe
shedonet
hingsbef
oreAndsheprayedandnowsheislooki
ng,shetooksomecandl
es.

MaZuma:"t
hisi
sforyourmarr
iagewhenwear
edonepr
ayi
ngwewi
l
lli
ghtt
hem up.Let
'spr
ay
bef
orewest
artt
hecleansi
ng."

Wehel
deachot
her
'shandsandwest
art
edpr
ayi
ngwi
thher
.
.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT15

Me:
"isheok?"

Iwasl
ooki
ngatAi
za

MaZuma:"hewi
l
lbef
ine.Sheusedsomet
hingst
rongerbuthi
sfat
herwast
ryi
nghar
dert
o
pr
otecthi
m."

Ibr
ushedhi
shairashel
aidhi
sheadont
hemat
.Hej
ustv
omi
tedawhol
elotofst
uffandIdon'
t
wantt
oseethatagai
n.

MaZuma:
"Makehi
m dr
inkt
hiswat
er"

Shegav
emeagl
ass.

MaZuma:
"Ipr
ayedf
ori
t"

InoddedandIhel
dhi
sheadandmadehi
m dr
ink.

MaZuma:
"Nowl
etspr
ayi
t'
sal
mostmi
dni
ght"

Me:
"Ihopet
hiswor
ks."

MaZuma:
"itwi
l
l."

Inoddedandweheldeachother
'shandsoverAi
zaandwepr ay
ed, Ididn'
tknowwhattosaybut
deepdownIam hopi
ngthatever
y t
hingwor
ksoutgreat
lyandperfect
ly,wesayourAmensand
weopenedoureyes.MaZumat ooksomecandlesandlitt
hem inthecornerofherr
oom.I
l
ookedather.
MaZuma: "whenhewakesup, youcangohome.Iwi llgi
veyousomecandl esandsomewater,
pr
ayforitthespri
nklei
nfr
ontoft
hegatetheni
ny ourbedroom ,
frontdoorandbacky
ardaswel
l
,youpraywhiledoingt
hatandIneedyoutohavefait
hSizakel
e.

Me:
"doIneedt
ost
artgoi
ngt
ochur
ch?"

MaZuma:"Youhav
eachoi
ce,
Iam j
usther
etocl
eansey
ouSi
zabuty
ourf
ait
hisneeded.You
hav
elessfai
th"

Me:
"Godhasf
ail
edme"

MaZuma:"hehasnev
erf
ail
edany
one.Hei
sjustwai
ti
ngf
oramomentt
ost
ri
keandshowhi
s
wor
kjusthav
efai
th"

Me:
"it
'seasyt
osay"

MaZuma:
"yes,
buthar
dwor
kpay
sof
fri
ght
?"

Inodded.

MaZuma:
"Tr
usti
ntheLor
d.Hav
efai
th,
donotdespai
r.Tr
usti
ntheLor
d."

Ikeptqui
et.

MaZuma:
"Psal
ms27:
14"

Me:
"Iunder
stand"

MaZuma:
"hav
eyoueat
en?"

Me:
"Iam nothungr
y"

MaZuma:
"gor
est
.Wewi
l
lleav
ehi
m her
e,comeIwi
l
lsetupf
ory
ou"

Me:
"thanky
ouf
ort
his.Forev
ery
thi
ng"

MaZuma:
"Iam j
ustsentt
ohel
p"

Ismi
l
ed.Ibr
eat
hout,
Ifeel
abi
tbet
ter
.

★I
NGATHI
★

Ihadanear
lymeet
ingr
esul
ti
ngmet
oleav
eear
lyandgohomesi
ncemycl
othesar
eathome.I
am hopingLindiweisgoneandoutofmyhouse.Idon' teverwantt
oseeherface,
Ihavebeen
tur
ningabli
ndey ei
nalotofthingsbutthi
s,t
hisisbeyondme.IgothomeandIgotof fmycar
andrushedinsideanditwasqui et
.Iwentupt hestai
rsandopenedthebedr
oom doorandshe
wasasleep.Ilightl
ychuckledandIdon'ttot
heclosettochange.Idon'
thav
eanytimefort
his.
Aft
erIwasdoneget ti
ngdressedIwalkedoutoftheclosetandshewasonherbutt
.

Li
ndi
:"Baby"

Me:
"Idon'
thav
eti
meLi
ndi
we,
Ineedt
omeetmyl
awy
ersat12H00"

Li
ndi
:"pl
easebaby"

Iwal
kedouti
gnori
nghercal
ls.Ir
usheddownthestai
rsandshef
oll
owedme,Igotoutandgot
i
nthecarandstar
tedi
tanddroveoffwhi
leshewascryi
ng.Idon'
thav
eTimeforLi
ndiwe'
s
empt
ypromisesandschemes.Iam ti
rednow.

★BONGI
LE★

Ihear
dsomecommot ionasIwasi
noneoft
hebedroom ,
bathr
ooms.Iignor
editandcar
ri
ed
onbathi
ngmy selfi
ntheher
bsIwasgi
ven.Itookt
hebott
leofsmal
lredl
iqui
dandadrop
i
nsideandIcarr
iedonbathi
ng.

Me:
"Ai
zaBi
yase,
AizaBi
yase,
AizaBi
yase"

Iwashedmybackandwentt omyf ace.Ihav ehopethatitwi

llwork.Bi
ghopethati
twill
work
becauseIhaven'
tseenanypostonhisInstagr
am wal
lrecentl
yabouthisSi
zaandthatisasi
gn
thati
namat t
eroftimehewill
beherelayingonmychest .Ican'tbestr
uggl
ingl
iket
his.Iam
nottheworki
ngtypeeit
hersothati
swayoutoft hequesti
on/ Opti
on.

★KAMOGELO★

IwokeupandIngathiwasn'tnextt
ome.Ir oll
edoffthebed.Thi
siswhatIam usedto,not
waki
nguptoseeinghi m nextt
ome.Iwentt otheki
tchenandmadesomecer eals.Isawacard
ont
opoftheki
tchencount erandanotewit
hthepin.Iwanttocutti
eswit
hIngathibutal
it
tl
e
sel
fspoi
l
ingwouldn'thurtri
ght? Ismi
ledandtookthecardandwentoneati
ng.Whatt heheck
Iwill
goandhav esomebreakf
astoutandkil
lmy self.Imeanhedi dleavet hemostpreci
ous
thi
nginthewronghandsandmyl it
tl
ebuttneedst reat
mentaswel l.Irushedt owashmybowel
beforeIwenttotakeabat
h.Ishoul
dcallPul
engov erbutIam ret
hinki
ngi t,shenev
ercal
lsme
whenshei soutandaboutsowhyshouldI?IfinishedbathingandIgotdr essedinshort
sanda
topwithsandal
s.Therewasaknockont hedoorandIhur ri
edtogoandopen.

Me:
"Iam comi
ng"

Iopenedt
hedoorandf
rowned.

"Ar
en'
tyougonnal
etmei
n?"

Me:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"

Hechuckl
edandpushedhi
swayi
nsi
de.

Me:
"thi
sismyf
latandy
ouar
etr
aspassi
ng"

Hl
ubi
:"YoumeanI
ngat
hi'
sfl
at."

Me:
"whet
heri
t'
swhoev
er'
sfl
ati
tis,
thatdoesn'
tconcer
nyou"

Hl
ubi
:"buti
tconcer
nsmewhenmycousi
ncheat
sonhi
swi
fe"

Me:
"that
'shi
sbusi
nessnoty
our
s"

Hechuckl
ed.

Hlubi:
"hewon'
tl
eav
ehi
swi
fef
ory
ou,
youar
esel
l
ingy
our
sel
fshor
tli
keapr
ost
it
ute,
itwi
l
lal
l
endintear
s"

Me:
"youmeanofj
oy?Pl
easewat
chmedonot
hingatal
l"

Hl
ubi
:"Iam war
ning"

Me:
"goandpayat
tent
ionony
ourwi
fe,
whoknowsImi
ghtr
emov
eherf
ort
hesakeofdoi
ngi
t"

Ismi
rked.

Hl
ubi
:"l
etmego"

Me:
"Idon'
tknowhowy
ouf
oundmebutt
aket
hesamer
out
eback"

Hehookhisheadandwalkedt
owar
dsthedoor.HegotoutandIcl
osedthedoorandcl
i
cked
mytongue.Theaudaci
tyt
ocomehereandt
ell
meallofthat
.Igoandtakemyphoneandcal
l
I
ngathi
andhepicksup.

I
ngat
hi:
"Iam i
nameet
ingKamo"
Me:"Tel
lyourfamil
ymemberstobackoffinmyli
fe.Mat
teroff
actnj
eal
lofy
ouIdon'
twant
youImyli
fe.Iwil
ldr
opyourcar
daftershoppi
ng."

I
ngat
hi:
"whocame?"

Me:
"Hl
ubi
Ithi
nk.
"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iwi
l
lsendsomeonet
ofet
chy
ou,
Iam i
nameet
ing"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lcal
lyouonceIt
eary
ourmoneyl
i
key
out
ear
edmyki
tt
en"

I
ngat
hi:
"okIhav
etogo"

Hehungup.Iwentt
othebedr
oom t
otakemybag.

★SI
ZA★

Aizafinall
ywokeupandhesai dhewasfeeli
ngabitbet
tert
hanhewasyesterday.Wegav ehim
somet hingtoeatandMaZumagav emet
hecandlesIshoul
dli
ghtupt
onightandpr ayonmy
ownt henIam donewi thever
ythi
ng.WethankedMaZumaandsaidourgoodby es.Iam not
preparedtogohomeorev encall
home.Wegoti nt
hecarandIwasdri
vingushomesi nceAiza
i
sf eel
ingabi tnauseat
ed.

Me:
"ar
eyouok?"

Ai
za:
"Iam baby
.Ij
ustneedt
orest"

Me:
"ok,
youmi
ssedameet
ing"

Ai
za:
"nextt
imet
hen"

Inodded.

Ai
za:
"wewi
l
lbeoknow"

Me:
"yeah"

Hetookmyhandandkissedi
tandIsmi
led.MaZumareall
yhelpedus.Ishouldn'tl
i
stentoMah
andgowit
hmyinsti
nctandwhatAi
zasays.Wewouldn'thav
ecl eansedi
fIl
istenedtoher.

.
★LI
NDI
★

Icouldn'
tst
opcryingsi
ncei
ngathi
lef
tandhisclothessmel
lofaf emini
neperfumeandit
seemedexpensiveandnotcheapatal
l.Bongil
egotinthebedroom asIpackedmybags.Heis
beingpati
entwit
hmer i
ghtnowbutwhenhei sti
redhewill
resorttothi
ngsIwouldn'
tl
ike,I
packedmycl ot
hes.

Bongi
l
e:"whyar
eyoupacki
ng?"

Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s.

Me:
"hei
ssendi
nghi
slawy
ers"

Bongi
l
e:"what?
!No"

Inoddedandkeptonpacki
ng.

Bongi
l
e:"at
leasty
ouwi
l
lget50%ofev
ery
thi
ng"

Ishookmyhead.

Bongi
l
e:"whatdoy
oumean?"

Me:
"wesi
gnedapr
enupt
ial
,Iwon'
tgetany
thi
ng"

Bongi
le:
"ungenaungenat
eauf
unaukuphumausongeizandla?Kant
iubut
hembeni?(You
ent
eredwit
hnothi
ngandnowyouar
ecomi ngoutwi
thnothing?Whatwereyouhopi
ngfor?)
"

Me:
"hel
ovedme.Idi
dn'
tthi
nkwewoul
dcomet
othi
s"

Bongil
e:"yout
hinkofr
ainyday
sev
enwheny
ouknowt
her
ewon'
tber
ainyday
s"Icl
osedmy
sui
tcase.

Me:
"it
'sdone"

Ipl
ayedwi
thmyr
ingandsni
ff
ed.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~
I
NSERT16

[
AFEW WEEKSLATER]

★KAMOGELO★

Iclosedt helastofmybag.Icoul dn'tst ayany more, yesi t'

sbeenagoodl ifebuti tcomeswi t
h
toomucht hatIwon' tbeabl etogiveof fintheendaswel l.Wegett i
redashumansandIam
alsot iredofbei ngt reat
edl i
keasi dechi ckorsecondbest .I tshouldbehar dformet ol eave
Ingat hiandi tisreallybutIhav etoldmyhear tandbr aint hatthisiswhat '
sbest .Itreal lyis,I
needt ogethomeandt rytogetmyl ifet ogetherstarti
ngwi thMom.Isi ghafterclosingmybag
andIsatont hebedabi tjusttocollectev erythingthat'sinfrontofme. Ibi tmybot tom l i
pand
think, doIr eallywantt odot hi
sandy es, yesIwantt o.Thi slif
eisnotf orsomeonel ikeme.
Pul engcansur v i
vebutIwon' tanymor e.Igotupf rom t hebedandt ookmybagsandIl ooked
aroundbef oreIwal kedoutoft hebedr oom t othelounge.Ihav en'tseenIngathi Sincet hedayI
wentt otreatmy sel
fi nandi thasbeensi l
entandbestsi ncet hen.Iwentt odrinksomewat eri
n
theki tchenbef or eIwalkedt owardst hedr opandt ookoutt hekeyandopenedt hedoorandhi s
handwasr aisedi nt heairreadytoknock.Heput st hem i nhisnav ychino'
sandbr eat hedout .

I
ngat
hi:
"Kamo"

Me:
"Ingi
"

I
ngat
hi:
"wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?"

Me:
"home"

Hewal
kedi
nsi
decl
osi
ngt
hedoorbehi
ndhi
m.

I
ngat
hi:
'di
dn'
twet
alkaboutt
his?
"

Me:
"Ihav
emademydeci
sion"

Henodded.

I
ngat
hi:
"deci
sionofwhat
?"

Me:
"leav
ingt
hisl
i
fe

Henoddedagai
ncomi
ngcl
oser
.Iswal
l
owed.Whati
fher
eleasesahotsl
aponmef
ort
hisand
Iwi
l
lcr
yandl
eav
ehi
m her
e.

I
ngat
hi:
"whowi
l
ltakecar
eofme?"

Me:
"your
..
..
your
..
wif
e"

I
ngat
hi:
"whowi
l
ltakecar
eofy
ou?"

Me:
"Iwi
l
l."

I
ngat
hi:
"Buty
ouar
ecar
ryi
ngmybaby
"

Me:
"Iam notpr
egnant
"

I
ngat
hi:
"let
'smakeadeal
.Ify
ouar
enott
heny
oucango.Buti
fyouar
epr
egnanty
ouwi
l
lst
ay.
"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Me:
"ok'

Heki
ssedmyl
i
ps.

Me:
"Noki
ssi
ng"

HenoddedasImov
edawayf
rom hi
m.

★SI
ZA★

Iwasof
fl
oadi
ngt
hegr
ocer
iesi
ntot
hei
rpl
aceswhi
l
etal
ki
ngont
hephonewi
thAi
za.

Ai
za:
"Theyar
ecomi
ng"

Me:
"for?"

Ai
za:
"Iam notsur
ebutMom wi
l
lal
sobet
her
eandwehav
etogot
odi
nner"

Me:
"Ai
zay
ouknowy
oumot
herhat
esme,
whati
fshepoi
sonsme?
"

Ai
za:
"that
'sexagger
ati
ng"

Me:
"Hav
en'
tyouseenpeopl
etr
yingt
odest
royt
his?"

Ai
za:
"thi
sisdi
ff
erent"
Me:
"Mxm ,
don'
tsayIdi
dn'
ttel
lyouwhenIdi
e"

Ai
za:
"Si
za"

Me:
"it
'sf
ineAi
za"

Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

HehungupandtheHelperwal
kedi
n. Iam al
way
sbor
edal
onesoi
t'
sbet
terwhent
her
eis
someonear
oundthehouse.

Sne:
"Iam donewi
tht
aki
ngt
het
rasht
otheback.Shoul
dIcook?"

Me:
"No,
Idomyowncooki
ngf
ormyhusband"

Shenodded.

Sne:
"canIhel
pyouunpack?
"

Me:
"Sur
e"

West
atedunpacki
ngt
oget
her
.

Me:
"youseet
hat?"

Ipoi
ntedatt
hecamer
as.Shenodded.

Me:
"myhusbandi
swat
chi
ng.
"

Sne:
"Iunder
stand"

Me:
"Ihopeso"

Shenodsandwecar
ryonof
fl
oadi
ngi
nsi
l
ence.

★LI
NDI
★

Isobbedinherarmsasshebrushedmyback.Shei sdi
sappoi
ntedbythenewsbutmore
shockedofwhatIhaddone.Ileft,I
ngathif
orcef
ull
ymademel eaveandIl
eftt
hebabyofwhi
ch
hewillt
racebacktoi
tspar
entifpossi
ble.

Me:
"Mama"
Icr
y.

Mom :
"Iwarnedyouaboutthatf
astl
if
eLindi
looknowi
tmessedupy
ourmar
ri
ageandy
ou
r
est
oredtosteal
i
ng.Iam verydi
sappoi
ntedi
ny ou"

Me:
"Iwasdesper
ate"

Mom :
"youshoul
dhav
ebeenhonestwi
thy
ourhusbandandnotdecei
vehi
m."

Me:
"Iwaspani
cki
ng"

Mom :
"youdi
dthi
stoy
our
sel
f.Ther
eisnot
hingIcando"

Icr
ied.

Me:
"Iwanthi
m back"

Mom :
"thenchange.Hecan'
tmi
racul
ousl
ycomebackandt
akey
ouwheny
ouar
eli
ket
his.
Pr
oveyourchange"

Inoddedandsheki
ssedmycheek.

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Mom :
"Iwi
l
lmakesomet
eaf
ory
ou"

Inoddedandsi
ghed.Ij
ustwantmyhusbandback.

★BONGI
LE★

Ir
anaf
tert
hemenwhower
etowi
ngmycar.

Me:
"what
'sgoi
ngon?"

Aguycomest
omeandhandsmet
hepaper
s.

Me:
"whati
sthi
s?"

Guy:"wear
etaki
ngev
ery
thi
ngt
hatbel
ongst
oMrBi
yase.Wewi
l
lneedy
out
oev
acuat
ethi
s
house"

Me:
"thi
sismyhouseAndt
hati
smycar!"
Guy:
"notany
mor
e.Heboughti
tandi
tst
atesev
ery
thi
ngunderhi
sname"

Iwal
kedi
nsi
deandt
ookoutmyphoneandt
ri
edt
ocal
lhi
m buti
twentt
ovoi
cemai
l
.Ical
l
ed
mom.

Mom :
"yi
nikemanj
e(whatnow?)
"

Me:
"Theher
bsdi
dn'
twor
k"

Mom :
"whydoy
oumeant
heydi
dn'
twor
k?"

Me:"t
heydidn'
t.I
nst
eadofAi
zacomi
ngbackt
omeandusget
ti
ngmar
ri
edhei
srepossessi
ng
ev
eryt
hing"

Mom :
"hecan'
tdot
hat,
it'
s.Your
s"

Me:
"Hecan,
it'
sunderhi
sname"

Mom :
"Bongi
l
ehowcoul
dyoul
ett
hathappen.Iam di
sappoi
ntedi
nyou"

Me:
"Idon'
twannacomebackt
her
e"

Mom :
"whatar
eyougoi
ngt
oli
vewi
th?"

Isi
ghed.

Me:
"Iwi
l
lcal
lyou"

Ihungupandt
ri
edAi
zaagai
nst
il
lnot
hing.

Me:
"damny
ouAi
za!"

★KAMOGELO★

Aswear eapproachingtheDr'
sof
ficeIam get
ti
ngnerv
ousandmor enervous.Ilookedat
Ingat
hiwhoseemsmor erel
axedthanIam.ThenIlookoutofthewindowandheget stothe
parki
nglotandpar kshi
scarandwegetout .Wewalkinsi
deandsomepeopl ear
ewat chi
ngus
andheadt otherecepti
onandshesmiles.

Her:
"GooddayMrZi
qubuy
ouar
ejustont
ime"

I
ngat
hi:
"thanky
ou"
Wewentt
osi
tdown.Sohewaspr
epar
edt
otakemeher
eal
ready
.

Me:
"whatdoy
oudo?Inev
erasked"

I
ngat
hi:
"whyar
eyoui
nter
est
ed?"

Me:"Iam j
ustaski
ng.Whati
fyougoty
ourmoneysomewher
ecr
eapyandIwasspendi
ngi
t
t
henIhavebadluck"

Hechuckl
ed.

I
ngat
hi:
"Iownmyv
eryownWhi
skeybr
ewer
y"

Me:
"Oh.Isee"

I
ngat
hi:
"it
'ssur
pri
singhowmuchpeopl
espendi
nal
cohol
mor
ethanf
ood"

Me:
"tr
ue"

I
ngat
hi:
"Youar
egoi
ngt
ost
udyaf
tert
his"

Me:
"(si
gh)
ifIdon'
thav
etopayy
oubacki
nsomewei
rdwayt
henok"

Het
ookmyhandandki
ssedi
t.

I
ngat
hi:
"goodgi
rl"

Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
"howar
eyour
elat
edt
oHl
ubi
?"

I
ngathi:
"mymotherandhi
sfat
herandAi
za'
sfat
herar
esi
bli
ngsbutmymot
hermar
ri
edi
nthe
Bi
yasecl
annamewhichisZi
qubu"

Me:
"oht
hatexpl
ainst
het
att
oo"

I
ngat
hi:
"youwer
echecki
ngmeout"
b

Il
aughed.

Me:
"nomanIj
ustsawi
t."

I
ngat
hi:
"howdoy
ouknowhi
m ?"

Me:
"hewasmybr
other
'sf
ri
end"

I
ngat
hi:
"younev
erment
ionedy
ouhadabr
other
"

Me:
"hepassedaway"
I
ngat
hi:
"ohIam sor
ry"

Inodded.

"
MrZi
qubuy
ouar
eupnext"

West
oodupandwal
kedi
nsi
det
heDr
'sof
fi
ceandwegr
eet
edandsatdown.

Dr:
"youar
eher
eforapr
egnancyt
est"

I
ngat
hi:
"yes"

Dr
:"doy
ouf
eel
anychangesony
ourbody?"

Me:
"no,
it'
snor
mal
"

Dr:
"per
iods"

Me:
"Idi
dgobutnotaheav
yfl
ow.Justsmal
lst
uff
.

Shenodded.

Dr:
"cany
oupl
easepeeont
hiscupf
ormeandcomeback"

Inodded.IstoodupandIwentt
ogoandpeeinthecupandIfi
nishedandwentbackout
side
andhaveitt
oherandsheputasti
ck.Shet
ookoutpamphl
ets.

Dr:"Pregnancyi
sawonder
ful
thi
ng.I
fthet
est
scomebacknegat
iveshoul
dIchecky
our
fer
til
i
ty?"

I
ngat
hi:
"yes"

Il
ookedathi
m.TheDrl
ookedatme.

Me:
"uhm ok"

Dr:
"wonder
ful
"

Shesmil
edandIj
ustf
eltl
i
keget
ti
ngoutofheresoon.I
ngat
hikeptonpl
ayi
ngwi
thmyf
inger
s
unt
ilwai
ti
ngt
imewasup.TheDrlookedatus.

Dr:
"congr
atul
ati
ons,
youar
eexpect
ing"

Myhear
tbeat
sfastandIl
ookatI
ngat
hiwhodoesn'
tseem t
obel
i
evei
t.

Dr:
"doy
ouwantt
oseet
hebundl
e?"

I
ngat
hi:
"yes"

Iwasst
uckf
orwor
ds.Webot
hst
oodupandwentt
othebedandt
heDrl
aidmedownand
pull
edmytopupandputcol
dgel
onmyst
omachandmov
edt
hescanonmyst
omachand
ther
ewassil
ence.

Dr:
"ther
eist
hel
i
ttl
eone"

I
ngat
hi:
"howf
ar?"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Dr:
"9weeks."

Me:
"Idon'
tseeany
thi
ng"

Dr:
"it
'sgr
owi
ng"

Inodded.Shewipedthegel
offmewhenwewer edoneandgavemeprescri
pti
onandwe
thankedherbef
orewalki
ngout.I
ngat
hiseemedexci
tedmoret
hanany
t hi
nginthewor
ld.
wegot
i
nt hecarandIbreat
hedout
.

I
ngat
hi:
"Thanky
ou"

Me:
"youdi
dthi
sonpur
pose"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iam gl
adi
twor
ked"

Me:
"mxm"

Heki
ssedmyl
i
psandIpushedhi
m.

I
ngat
hi:
"don'
tthi
nkofabor
ti
ng"

Me:
"ist
hathowy
out
hinkIam ?Wow"

I
ngat
hi:
"youar
eunpr
edi
ctabl
e"

Me:
"mxm "

I
ngat
hi:
"Gi
vemeaki
ss"

Me:
"no"

Hehel
dmyf
aceandki
ssedme,
hishandsl
i
ppedundermyski
rtandhecar
essedmyt
high.

Me:
"mmmh"

Hebr
eakst
heki
ssandki
ssesmynecksof
tl
ymaki
ngmeshi
ver
.

I
ngat
hi:
"weshoul
dgety
ourmot
her"

Me:
"to?"
I
ngat
hi:
"tocomet
hissi
deandl
i
vewi
thy
ou."

Me:
"oh"

Hest
art
edt
hecar
.Iam notsur
eaboutal
loft
his.

★AI
ZA★

Senzo:
"Wehav
emade10del
i
ver
iest
opet
rol
stat
ionst
hismont
honShel
lal
one"

Cal
vi
n:"onet
ruckwassetal
i
ghtset
ti
ngusbackont
heamountofpr
ofi
tst
hatcoul
dhav
ebeen
made."

Me:"Iunderstandt
hat
.Whataboutt
heot
her
sthatwer
esupposedt
omov
ebet
ween
JohannesburgandHar
rismi
th?"

Senzo:
"theyhav
emadei
tther
easwel
lwi
thnocompl
i
cat
ions"

Me:"ok,forourl
ostdr
iverpl
easecont
actt
hef
ami
l
yandwewi
l
lpayf
ort
hef
uner
aland
ev
eryt
hing"

Isai
dtomypa.

Moni
ca:
"yessi
r"

Istoodupandt
ookmyphonet
ryi
ngt
ocal
lSi
za.Shewasmadatmeear
li
erbutshest
il
lnot
pi
ckingup.

Me:"Moni
ca,
Ineedy
out
ogetwhi
ter
osesanddar
kchocol
atef
ormywi
feandsendi
ttomy
house"

Moni
ca:
"wi
l
ldososi
r"pi
noddedandwenti
ntomyof
fi
ce.

★SI
ZA★
Me:
"Idon'
twantt
ocome,
wear
egoi
ngsomewher
e"

Mom :
"Si
zakel
e!"

Me:
"by
ema"

Ihungupandsi
ghed.Amessagecamet
hroughf
rom Ai
za,
Iwasn'
ttaki
nghi
scal
l
s.

Ai
za:
"sendmeamessagei
fyouar
est
il
lok"

Isentone.Hecal
l
edandIanswer
ed.

Ai
za:
"bebaby"

Me:
"mmmh"

Iopenedt
hef
ri
dgeandt
ookoutsomewat
er.Snewassomewher
ear
oundt
hehouse.

Ai
za:
"Ar
eyouok?"

Me:
"noIam happy"

Si
za:
"babe"

Me:
"by
eBi
yase"

Ai
za:
"youst
il
ll
oveme?"

Me:
"Ist
il
ll
ovey
ou"

Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
out
oo.By
est
handwaSam (myl
ove)
"

Ibl
ushed.

Me:
"by
e"

Ihungupandsmi
l
ed.Snewal
kedi
ntheki
tchen.

Sne:
"Iwi
l
lbeatt
hecot
tagei
fyouneedme"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Shenoddedandwal
kedof
f.

.
Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT17

★SNE★

Aunt
y:"Snet
hembapl
easedon'
tdi
sappoi
ntmebynotgi
vi
ngusmoneymont
hend"

Me:
"Iwon'
taunt
y"

Aunt
y:"Yes.Igott
hatj
obf
ory
out
hroughhar
dwor
k"

Ir
oll
myey
esasIknowshei
sly
ing.Herf
ri
endgotmet
hisj
obandshej
usti
nfor
medme.

Me:
"Iwon'
t,Iknow"

Aunt
y:"i
t'
sgoodt
haty
ouknow.Sendmoneymont
hend"

Me:
"Iwi
l
l"

Shehungupandisi
ghed,ther
eisreal
l
ynotmuchtodobecauset
hewif
eli
kest
odomostoft
he
thi
ngsonherownanditbenef
itsmeaslongasi
tdoesn'
thur
tmypay
.

★KAMOGELO★

I
ngat
hi:
",
youhav
ebeensi
l
entsi
nceIment
ionedy
ourmot
her"

Me:
"NoIam j
ustt
hinki
ng"

I
ngat
hi:
"wear
est
il
ltaki
ngy
ourmot
her"
Inodded.

Me:
"Ok"

I
ngat
hi:
"Ar
eyouhungr
y?"

Me:
"abi
t"

Henoddedandtookatur
nandheldmyhand.Ilookedathi
m,heiswei
rdt
heseday
sbutIam
get
ti
ngusedt oi
t.Wi
ndowsbreakfr
om t
hesi
desandIduck.Whi
lescr
eami
ng.HegroansandI
l
ookathim andhi
sar
m hasbeenshotat
.

Me:
"Ingat
hi"

I
ngat
hi:
"Fuckgetdown"

Igotdownandhet
ri
edt
otur
nthecarar
oundbuthewasshotonhi
schest
.

Me:
"Ingat
hi"

It
urnedbehi
ndmeandt
hreeGol
fsandoneappr
oachesus.

I
ngat
hi:
"RunKamogel
o"

Me:
"Ican'
tl
eav
eyoul
i
ket
his"

Hecoughsandcl
oseshi
sey
es.

I
ngat
hi:
"Kamor
un!"

Iwasshakingwhileopeni
ngthedoorandIranoutduckingmyheadwhi
l
ebullet
swer
efir
ed.I
keptonrunni
ngwhi l
etear
srandownmyey es,Icoul
dn'tgetmyf
eetf
arfort
hesaket
hatIl
eft
him backt
here Icannotl
eavehi
mlikethat.Itur
nedback.

Me:
"Ingat
hi!
"

IheardgunshotsandIwentdownonmykneesandhel
dmyst
omachandt
ear
srandownmy
cheeks.Isobbed.

Me:
"Ing.
..
..
"

Iwant
edt
ogoback,
Iwant
edt
ogoandhel
phi
m.Godwhyi
sthi
shappeni
ng?

★BONGI
LE★
Theytookev
ery
thi
ng, thecar, t
hehouseandevery
thingini
t.Ihav
enothinganymor
e.Ipacked
mybagsandgotinat axigoinghome.Inevert
houghtIwouldcomebackhomei nataxi
ever
agai
n.Whydidn'
tthatherbwor kli
kei
twassupposedt owork.?Iwonder,Isi
ghedasthefat
womannexttomei ssuffocati
ngmei nt
oacornerseat.

Me:
"ar
gh"

Shel
ooksatmeandcar
ri
esonl
ooki
ngupf
rontandi
cli
ckmyt
ongue.CanIgethomeal
ready?

★KAMOGELO★

Istoodupandcarr
iedonr
unni
ngwhi
l
ecr
yingaf
tert
hat
.Igott
oabusyst
reetandIst
oppeda
caranditst
opped.

Lady:
"heywhat
'swr
ong?"

Me:
"i.
..
I"

Iwast
raumat
ized.

Lady:
"comel
etmet
akey
ouhome"

Me:
"PL.
..
.pl
easet
akemet
oAi
zaBi
yase'
scompany"

Lady:
"ohIknowhi
m.Come"

Wegoti
nthecarandshedrov
eoff.Ikeptoncr
yingont
heway,
Iam scar
ed.Idon'
tev
enwant
t
oknowhowhei saf
tert
hosebul
l
ets,ifheisal
i
veornot
.

Lady:
"her
edr
inksomewat
er"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Shenodded.I
twasstart
ingt
ogetlat
eany
way,Ibr
eathedoutaf
terdri
nki
ngsomewat
er.I
hopeAizai
sworki
ngl
ate.Idon'
tknowmymindi
srunningwi
ldatthi
spoint
.

★LI
NDI
★

Mom :
"St
opcr
ying,
Zami
l
ehasbeenaski
ngabouty
ou"
Me:
"Ihav
en'
tseenheri
nsol
ong"

Mom :
"yesshewor
ksatSt
eer
s"

Inodded.Iwi
pedmyt ear
sandwentont
osoci
almedi
a.Ihaven'
tpost
edi
ndaysandpeopl
ear
e
wonderi
ngwhat
'shappeni
ngi
nmylif
eatthi
smoment.Iam aski
ngmysel
ftoo.

Mom :
"may
bey
oushoul
dlookf
oraj
ob"

Me:
"oh"

Meandaj obarewat erandoi

l.Ahotnewsnot i
fi
cati
oncomesonmyphoneandi tshowsa
pict
ureofIngat
hi andI.Iopenit,Iwonderwhattheyar
etal
ki
ngaboutnowaboutus. Then
thestoryi
sdisplayedwithhi
spict
urealoneandIsmilet
henscr
oll
downandmyhandsst ar
t
shaking.

Me:
"Mah!
!!
"

Mom :
",
what?
"

Sher
unsi
nfr
om t
heki
tchent
othel
oungeandIcr
y.

Me:
"noti
ngat
himahnothi
m"

Isobbed.

Mom:
"what
'swr
ong?"

ICar
ri
eoncr
yingwhi
l
esheaskedmequest
ions.

★KAMOGELO★

Wegott ohisoffi
ceandhewasAl readygonesot heladydr
oppedmeatmyf lat.Shereall
y
helpedme.Iwal kedinsidet hehouseandIdon' tevenknowwher eIwoul
dstartcontacti
nghis
rel
at i
vesabouttheshoot ing.Igoandt akeashower, Iam worr
iedabouthi
m, Iam shaki
ng
whileatit.Itouchmyst omachandIwi pemytearsandcar r
yonshower i
ng.OnceIam doneI
getputandIgoandl otionandgetdr essedi
npy j
amas.Ihav en'
tcall
edmom i naf ewday s.I
willcall
hertomor r
owmor ni
ngj usttocheckonher .Imisshersomuch.Iopent hetvandgogo
thenewschannel andnot hingcomesonasy et.Ichangechannelsandendupswi t
chingofft
he
tv.Iwantt ohearsomenewsr egardinghim At
least
.
.

★SI
ZA★

Aizawascr y
ingsoasThabaniandHlubiwasacti
ngstr
ongbutdeepdownheisjust.Iam hur
t,I
am inpainbutIhav
etoactstrongformyhusbandthoughIwanttoj
oinhi
mincr y
ing.Theytwo
thebloodedcarawayandtheycoverhi
sbodyupandt ear
sstr
eam downmyey es.

Hl
ubi
:"Wehav
etof
indt
hem "

Thabani
:"Ican'
tdot
his"

Hewal
kedof
f.

Me:
"Thabani
!"

Hl
ubi
:"l
ethi
m bef
orsomet
ime"

Me:
"I.
.I"

Tear
sst
reameddownmyey
esaswel
l
.Iwashur
t.Iwasi
npai
nI.
..
Icoul
dn'
t.

Me:
"Iam sor
rybaby
"

Hehol
dsmet
ight
lyast
heambul
ancet
akeshi
m awayi
ntoi
tandi
tdr
ivesof
f.

Me:
"Iam sor
ry."

★UNKOWN★

Istar
edatthetvandmychestwasri
sing.Idrankmywhi
skeywhi
l
elooki
ngatt
henews
repor
terspeaki
ngast
hesceneisbehi
ndher.Thetvi
sonmuteaswel
l.

"
SthandwaSam (
myl
ove)
"

Me:
"Theyar
eback"

Her:
"Who?"

Me:
"Col
umbi
ans"
Ndal
o:"
Ithoughtwet
ookcar
eoft
hem "

Me:
"weshoul
dn'
thav
ewor
kedwi
thI
ngat
hi"

Ndal
o:"weneededhi
m,heagr
eedaswel
l"

Ishookmyhead."

Me:
"hi
sisgone.Myuncl
e'
sonl
ysoni
sgone"

Ndal
o:"l
etmecal
lmah"

Ababycr
ybr
okeoutf
rom t
hebabymoni
tor
.

Me:
"Ndal
o"

Shel
ookedatme

Ndal
o:"No,
Nhl
anhl
awecan'
tshi
ptheki
dsl
i
ket
his.Wehav
etoshutdownt
hiswhol
ethi
ngi
f
wehaveto."

Me:
"wecan'
tNdal
o,oncey
ouar
ein,
youar
ein."

Ndal
o:"No"

Ist
oodup.

Me:
"youar
egoi
ngwi
tht
hist
ime.Al
lofy
ou"

Ndal
o:"No!Iam notgoi
ngany
wher
e!"

Me:
"Damni
tNdal
ocoul
dyouj
ustl
i
sten?
"

Shekeptqui
et.

Me:
"Gopack,
Iwi
l
ltakecar
eoft
heot
her
s"

Ndal
o:"weshoul
dn'
thav
eext
endedi
ntoi
l
legal
weaponshi
ppi
nganddr
ugsNhl
anhl
alooknow"

Me:
"Iknow.Iwi
l
ltakecar
eofi
t"

Shet
urnedar
oundandwal
kedupt
hest
air
s.

Me:
"Ndal
o!"

Sheignoredme.Isighedandt ookthelastgul
pofmywhi sky.Wehav
etomovesoon.I
shouldn'
thaveinv
olvedIngat
hibutIneededhisbrewer
ybusinesst
oworkwi
thusint
omi x
ing
drugsinthataswell
t heni
tgetsshi
ppedi nt
oforei
gncountr
ies.

.
.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT18(v
eryshor
t)

Ibrushedhi
shairandhewasst ar
ingi
ntospace.Wearequi
etlay
ingi
nbed, Idon'
tgetwho
wouldwanttodot hi
stoIngat
hi?Heisnotanoutandaboutguyandkeepshisl
if
easpri
vat
eas
possibl
e.Notl
ikethisoneonmyl ap.

Me:
"shoul
dImakesomet
eaf
ory
ou"

Hei
ssi
l
ent
.Idon'
tknowwhatt
odoorwhatt
osayatt
hispoi
nt.

Ai
za:
"Wher
eisThabani
?"

Me:
"wi
thHl
ubi
"

HenoddedandIki
ssedhi
sfor
ehead.

Me:
"Let
'sr
est
."

Henoddedandweshar
edaki
ssandhehel
dmecl
oset
ohi
m.

Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Heholdsmeti
ght
lyandi
sigh,
mypoorbaby.I
ngathi
'smother,heronl
ysongonel
ikethat.I
t'
s
sai
dhewaswithawomanbasedf
rom t
hehandbagbutIwonderwhobecauseIdi
dn'tgetmy
handsoni
t.

★LI
NDI
★
Icoul
dn'
tst
opcr
yingt
hatmom'
sfr
iendscamet
osendt
hei
rcondol
ences.

Lady:
"phephi
saNt
ombazane(sor
ry)
"

Isni
ff
ed.

Me:
"mahwhyhi
m ?"

Mom :
"Iam sor
ry"

Me:
"Ithur
ts"

Mom :
"ohmychi
l
d"

Shetr
iedtohushmebutitwassti
llt
her
e, whyi
shetakenawayf
rom me?Whyi
sGod
puni
shingmeliket
hisbytaki
ngmyhusbandli
kethat
.Myphoneri
ngsandi
knowit
'sBongi
l
e
butIi
gnorei
tandcarryoncryi
ng.

Mom:
"shhhcal
m down"

Shepatt
edmybackandt
heot
herLadi
esst
art
edachur
chsonwhi
l
emycr
iescont
ri
but
edt
o
ever
ythi
ng.

★KAMOGELO★

iwenttothekit
chenjusttogetsomesnacksandIwenttosi tdownonceagainandIchanged
thechannel
sandt henewspoppedandIst oppedf
orawhi l
ejusttosee.Thei magesofI
ngat
hi
poppedont hetvscr
eenandmyhear tstar
tedbeat
ingveryfast.Whathappened?Isheali
ve?
Thereport
erstart
stal
kingandthensaysthathehaspassedon.Mybowel ofchipsdr
opsandI
covermymout handtearsrol
ldownmyey es.

Me:
"No.
..
.No.
..
NoI
ngat
hi"

Iwentonmykneesneart
het
vscr
eenandIf
eltachestpai
ncomi
ngi
n.Isobbed.

Me:
"Ingi
...
.'

Il
etoutalumpandheldmy sel
fwhil
ecryi
ng.Hecan'
tbegone.Hecan'tleavemewithachi
ld,
whatwil
lIsayt
ohischil
dwhenhei snother
e.Ir
efuset
obeli
evethatheisgoneforreal
.
Somethi
nginmesayshei sali
vebutahugemesaysIshoul
dfor
get.It
'salli
nther
e.Isawhi
m
getshotat
.

_
___
_

I
ngat
hi:
"RunKamo!"

Igetoutoft
hecarshaki
ngandi
star
trunni
ng

_
__

Tear
srundownmyeyesandIhol
dont
othecouchcushi
ons. Ther
ewasaknockonthedoor
andIst
oopupwi
pingmytear
sandIwentt
oopenandHlubist
oodther
e.Hedidn'
tl
ookok.

Hl
ubi
:"Hey"

Hesai
dsof
tl
y.

Me:
"Hi
"

Idi
vedi
nhi
sar
msandst
art
edcr
ying.

Me:
"Why?"

Hewassi
l
ent
.Wej
ustst
oodt
her
easIcr
iedmyl
ungsout
.

★NHLANHLA★

Istoodbythedoorwaywhi
l
ewatchi
ngherf
oldt
heclot
hesandput
tingthem i
nhersui
tcaseand
shovingev
eryt
hingi
nsi
de.Thewayshewaspacki
ngangerwasvi
sibl
einit
.

Me:
"Babe"

Shekeptqui
teandi
sighedandwal
kedi
ncl
oser
.

Ndal
o:"St
handt
her
eNhl
anhl
a"

Me:
"let
'st
alk"

Ndal
o:"y
ouhav
e!adey
ourdeci
sion"

Me:
"it
'sdoy
ourowngoodt
il
lIgett
hisov
eranddonewi
th"

Ndal
o:"mmmh"
Me:
"Ndal
o"

Ndal
o:"Icanpr
otectmy
sel
f"

Me:
"Iknowbutt
heki
dsneedy
ou"

Sheshov
eshershoesi
nsi
deandt
urnedt
ome.

Ndal
o:"wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?"

Me:
"Ican'
ttel
lyou,
it'
sasecr
et"

Ndal
o:"what?I
t'
snotl
i
keIwi
l
lescapeandr
atusout"

Me:
"Idon'
ttr
ustt
hosewi
ves"

Ndal
owenti
ntopacki
ng.

Ndal
o:"what
'sabouthi
sSi
ssycousi
n?"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lfi
gur
ethatoneout"

Iwentcl
osert
oherandpul
l
edherupf
rom t
hef
loorandhel
dherwai
standki
ssedherneck.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ouok?"

Ndal
o:"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Me:
"st
opbei
ngmad"

Ndal
o:"Idon'
tl
iket
his,
findI
ngat
hi"

Me:
"babyhei
s..
."

Ndal
o:"don'
tl
ety
ourwongamebeaty
ou,
thi
nkNhl
anhl
athi
nk"

Sheki
ssedmyl
i
ps.

Ndal
o:"Letmef
ini
sh"

Me:
"youwi
l
lfi
nishl
ater"

Ipi
ckedherupandkeptonki
ssi
ngherneckandl
aidheront
hebed.[
sci
ssor
ed]

Tobecont
inued
~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT19

Iwokeupandwenttowashmyf aceandbr
ushmyteeth.Myhusbandwasst il
lasleepwhenI
wokeup.Iwentdownthest
air
st ogoandmakesomebr eakf
astf
orhim andpreparehi
s
cl
othesf
orwork.WhenIwasdoneSnewal kedi
nthehouseandIgreetedher
.

Sne:
"Goodmor
ning"

Me: "Goodmorning,Ihav
etakencl
othesoutf
ormyhusband.Pl
easecl
eant
hebedr
oomsal
ot
becauseIthi
nktheBiy
asefamil
ymightcomehereaswel
l"

Sne:
"yessi
si"

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

Iwal
kedof
fgoi
ngupt
hest
air
sandgoti
ntoourbedr
oom.Igotont
hebedandshookhi
m abi
t.

Me:
"Ay
ize"

Hegr
oans.

Me:
"babywakeupIhav
epr
epar
edf
ory
ou"

Ai
za:
"Iam notgoi
ngt
owor
k"

Me:
"Ok"

Iki
sshi
sfor
ehead.

Me:
"shoul
dIbr
ingt
hef
oodupory
ouwi
l
lcomedown."

Ai
za:
"iwi
l
lcomedown"

Me:
"ok"

Igotoffthebedandwentt othebathroom tobath,afterIwasdoneIgotoutandAi zaisnotin

bedany more.Imadeit,gotdressedandwentdownt hestai
rsandi couldhearpeopl
etal
king,I
wasaboutt oheadtothekitchenwhent hedoorbellr
angandIwal kedt herestoft
hestai
rsandI
wenttoopent hedoorandtherewasascar ylookingguystandi
nginf rontofme.Hel ooked
Thuggi
sh, alot.Iswal
lowed
Hi
m:"I
sAi
zai
nsi
de?"

Me:
"whoar
eyou?"

Hel
ookedatmeandsmi
rked.

Hi
m:"Yourf
utur
ebae"

Me:
"Iam mar
ri
ed"

Hepushedhi
swayi
nsi
de.

Me:
"Ai
za!"

Ical
l
edoutf
orhi
m.

Me:
"youar
etr
aspassi
ng.Iwi
l
lcal
lthecopsnow."

Ai
zaappear
edi
nhi
sboxer
s.

Ai
za:
"Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"

Hef
rowned.

Guy:
"Justbecausey
ougotabet
terl
i
fedon'
tl
ookdownonme."

Ai
za:
"Si
zacany
oul
eav
eus?"

Guy:
"no,
wedon'
thav
eti
megopacky
ourbagsSugar"

Me:
"Nodon'
tcal
lmet
hat"

Ai
za:
"whatf
or?"

Guy:
"Shei
sindanger,
weneedt
okeept
hem saf
e"

Me:
"woahAi
zay
oudoi
l
legal
stuf
fnow?"

Guy:
"nobabet
her
ear
epeopl
ewhoar
ehat
ers"

Ai
za:
"cal
lmywi
febabeandwewi
l
lhav
epr
obl
ems"

Her
aisedhi
shandsup.

Guy
:"t
ickt
ock"

Ai
zasi
ghed.

Ai
za:
"gopackSi
za"
Me:
"whatno!
"

Ai
za:
"Gopack!"

Ilookedathi
m andthi
sguyandIr
ushedupthestai
rsandIcl
osedthedoor
.Iam notpacki
ng
fornothi
ng,Idon'
tknowthi
sguyf
orall
Iknowtheycouldbeset
ti
ngupmydeath.Aizagotin
thebedroom.

Ai
za:
"Justl
i
stenSi
za"

Me:
"whoi
she?"

Ai
za:
"Di
stancer
elat
ivet
oIngat
hi"

Me:
"whatdangerar
ewei
n?"

Ai
za:
"Idon'
tknow"

Me:
"Doy
ouknowany
thi
ng?"

Ai
za:
"justpackSi
za"

Me:
"Iam notpacki
ngf
orshi
tIdon'
tknowAi
za"

Hehel
dmyar
mroughl
y.

Ai
za:
"Iam y
ourhusband.Youar
esupposedt
oli
stent
ome,
under
stoodSi
za"

Me:
"youar
ehur
ti
ngmeAi
za"

Hecl
i
ckedhi
stongue.

Ai
za:
"Iam gi
vi
ngy
ouanhour
.Iwanty
oupackedupandr
eady"

Hewal
kedout
.

★KAMOGELO★

Isl
eptl
atelastnightduetomecryingtil
lIsl
ept,IwokeupandIwasonsomeone' schestand
wewerelayingont hecouch.Il
ookedupandi fwasHl ubi,Isatandal
oudbangonthedoor
waswhatwokeuphi m.Iwonderwhoi tissoearlyi
nthemor ni
ng.Ist
oodupfr
om t
hecouch
andwenttot heopenthedoorandt hepoli
cewerestandingthere.Myhear
twasbeati
ng.
Me:
"Hi
"

Of
fi
cer
:"ar
eyouKamogel
o?"

Hl
ubi
:"what
sgoi
ngon?"

Me:
"yesIam "

Of
fi
cer:
"Iam goi
ngt
oneedy
out
ogot
othest
ati
onwi
thusf
orquest
ioni
ng"

Hl
ubi
:"what
'swr
ongwi
thquest
ioni
ngherher
e?"

Iwasget
ti
ngscar
ed.

Of
fi
cer
:"wef
oundabagi
nthecarofMrI
ngat
hiZi
qubuandi
tbel
ongst
oMeKamo."

Me:
"yesIwaswi
thhi
myest
erday"

Of
fi
cer
:"soy
ouknowwhathappenedt
ohi
m ?"

Ne:
"par
ti
all
y"

Of
fi
cer:
"ok"

Me:
"uhm hecameher
etomypl
aceandIwasl
eav
inggoi
nghome.Hewant
edt
otakemet
o
t
heDr"

Of
fi
cer
:"whatr
elat
esy
out
ohi
m ?"

Me:
"fr
iendandIam washi
sMi
str
ess"

Iswal
l
owedandhel
ookedatme.

Me:
"shal
lIcar
ryon?"

Of
fi
cer:
"youshal
l"

Me:"wewentt otheDrtogetherAndaftert
hatwewer eonourwayback.Wewer ei
nthecar
andabouttogobuysomet hi
ngt oeatwhenhet urnedacor nerandgoti
ntoastr
eetandbul
lets
werefi
reddir
ectl
yinthecar.Ithithi
sarm atfi
rstandt henhetoldmetogetdown.Ididbut
l
ookedupandsawt hr
eewhoGol fs.Het ol
dmet or unoffanddon'tl
ookback.Iwasskept
ical
butIdi
drunoffandwhenIwasadi stanceawayIhear dmor eshots"

Of
fi
cer:
"whatwer
eyoudoi
ngatt
hedr
'sof
fi
ce?
"

Me:
"isn'
tthatconf
ident
ial
?"

Of
fi
cer:
"myapol
ogi
es,
thanky
ouf
ory
ourt
ime"
Hehandedmybagt
omeandIt
hankedhi
m bef
orecl
osi
ngt
hedoorandHl
ubi
wasl
ooki
ngat
me.

Me:
"youshoul
dgohome"

Hl
ubi
:"y
ouar
epr
egnantr
ight?"

Iswal
l
owedandkeptqui
et.Het
ookhi
scarkey
s.

Hl
ubi
:"Iwi
l
lseey
ou"

Hewal
kedout
.Isi
ghed.

★ZAMI
LE★

Iheardt
henewsaboutIngat
hi,
it'
ssaddeni
ng.Ihavet
ogoandseemyfri
endLindi
aft
erwork
andseegowsheisholdi
ngup.Itmustbedevastai
ngandi
t'
ssaidhewasgoi
ngwithamist
ress
,thesemenli
kedyi
nginshame. Howwi l
lmyfri
endbel
ookedatnow?.

Fl
orence:
"pl
easet
akecar
eoft
hisor
der
"

Me:
"sur
e"

Shewalkedof
fgoingt
owar
dst
hebat
hroomsandi
tookov
erheror
der.Myf
ri
end,
Ican'
tst
op
thi
nki
ngabouther
.

★SI
ZA★

Ipackedupmyev
ery
thi
ngandwentdownt
hest
air
sandAi
zal
ookedatme.

Ai
za:
",
youar
ecomi
ngback.

Me:
"it
'snotgar
ent
eed"

Guy:
"tr
ue."

Me:
"canwel
eav
e?"
Ai
za:
"Iwi
l
lseey
ou"

Ii
gnor
edhi
m.

Ai
za:
"comel
etmeki
ss"

Hepul
l
edmet
ohi
m andki
ssedmyl
i
ps.

Ai
za:
"behav
e"

Ikeptqui
etandhel
etmego,
Iwal
kedoutwi
tht
heguyandhel
oadedmyt
hingsi
nthecarand
wegotin.

Me:
"thepeopl
ewemar
ry"

Imumbl
ed.

Hi
m:"Iam Si
yandaKhumal
o"

Il
ookedathi
m ast
hecardr
oveof
f.

Hi
m:"won'
tyoui
ntr
oducey
our
sel
f.?"

Me:
"no"

Hechuckl
ed.

Hi
m:"Ndal
oisgoi
ngt
olov
eyou"

Me:
"mmmh"

Hekeptqui
et.

★BONGI
LE★

Ohli
fesweetl
if
e,Ij
ustgotof
fapri
vat
ejetandalr
eadyIam intheplacewithabeaut
if
ulhouse.
Iwaski
dnappedbysomement ot
hisbeaut
if
ulpl
ace,Ishouldgetkidnappedmoreoft
en.Iam
wit
hthi
swomanandherkidsandshedoesn'
tli
keme, well
Idon'tcare.

Me:
"whi
chonewi
l
lbemyr
oom ?"

Shekeptqui
et.

Me:
"ahy
oudon'
townt
hispl
ace"
Her:
"don'
ttestme."

Iri
l
ledmyeyesandshetookherki
dsandwentupt hestai
rs.I
tshugeandhasahugey
ard
spaceaswel
l.I
t'
sverysecur
edwit
hallt
hatIam seeing.

"St
oppushi
ngmei
n!"

Iknowt
hatv
oice.Li
ndi
comesi
nandt
hesemenar
edr
aggi
ngherbagsandsheseesme.

Li
ndi
:"Bongi
l
e"

Me:
"comeher
e"

Wehug.

Li
ndi
:"hei
sgone"

Me:
"it
'sok.I
twi
l
lbeal
ri
ght"

Shecr
ied.Webr
oket
hehugaf
tersomet
ime.

Li
ndi
:"wher
ear
ewe?"

Me:
"Idon'
tknowbabes."

Mor
emenwal
kedi
nandabeaut
if
ull
adywal
kedi
n.

Her:
"Ingat
hidi
esandwear
ebr
oughtt
othi
s,Ihav
enor
elat
iont
ohi
m"

Sheput
sherbagdownandamanf
oll
ows.Mmmhy
ummyst
ufft
hatwesee.

Hi
m:"Justat
womor
eladi
est
henwear
eal
lher
e"

Me:
"ehati
sthi
s?"

Hi
m:"Idon'
tknowwhyIam sav
ingt
hesi
dechi
cks"

Me:
"hey!"

Li
ndi
:"Nt
ando"

Theygoandhug.

Nt
ando:
"thi
sist
oomuchf
orme.Wher
eisHl
ubi
,?Iam sor
ryl
ove"

Shehugsher
.

Guy:
"wher
eismywi
fe?"

Me:
"wedon'
tknowher"
Thel
adywi
tht
woki
dscomesdownt
hest
air
s.

Guy:
"Iam l
eav
ingSi
yandaandt
her
estwi
l
lcomewi
tht
heot
her
's"

Her:
"pl
easebesaf
e"

Sheper
kedherl
i
ps.Nx

Guy:
"Iwi
l
l"

Theywal
kedof
ftoget
her
.

Me:
"whoi
sthat?"

Li
ndi:
"Nhl
anhlaandhi
swi
feNdal
oRhadebe.Nhl
anhl
aisI
ngat
hi'
scousi
n.Thei
rweddi
ngwas
cut
eshedi
dn'tknow"

Nt
ando:
"theyl
ookl
i
kenewl
yWeds"

Li
ndi
:"It
hinkt
heyhav
ebeenmar
ri
edf
or7y
ear
snow"

Icl
appedmyhands.

Me:
"somewomen"

Isatont
hecouch.

★NDALO★

Nhl
anhl
a:"t
hesecur
it
yist
ighther
enoneedt
ofi
ghtf
orany
thi
ng"

Me:
"Idon'
tl
iket
hesi
dechi
ck"

Nhl
anhl
a:"t
hat
'sok"

Weki
ssedoncemor
e.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Il
ovey
oumor
e"

Weshar
edaper
kandacar
sfoll
oweachother
.Thewall
aroundt
hisplacei
sreal
lyt
all
.The
car
scomet
oahaul
tandSi
yandahopsoutwit
htwoladi
esandothermenfrom t
hebackcar
.
Si
yanda:
"Ndal
o,Ibr
oughtf
ri
ends"

Lady:
"Iam conf
used"

Si
yanda:
"goi
nsi
dey
ouwi
l
lbel
essconf
used."

Nhl
anhl
a:"
Ihav
etogo"

WehuggedandIt
urnedandwal
kedbacki
nsi
de.Thi
swi
l
lbeal
ongpr
ocess.

★KAMOGELO★

Ever
ythi
ngthati
nvolvesI
ngat
hii
snonsense,Ireal
lyhat
eal
lofthi
sbecauseIam nothi
swi
fe.
Wegotinsi
deandhi swif
ewasthere.Myheartski
ppedabeat
.Shewast al
ki
ngtosomeother
womenandt heytur
nedtous. Aiza'
swif
efrowned.

Si
za:
"Wow"

Shetakesherbagsandj
ustwal
ksupthestai
rs.If
oll
owednotknowi
ngwher
eIam goi
ng.I
touchmystomachandwipethet
earoff
.That'
sanotherwoman'
smanKamo.

★NARRATED★

Thepar
amedi
cswer
emaki
ngt
hei
rwayi
nthemot
uar
ywi
tht
hebodyandt
heywer
est
oppedby
twomen.

"
Openupt
hebody"

Theyopenedupandhet
ookof
fhi
scapast
hepar
amedi
cteam st
eppedback.

"
Whatar
ewedoi
ng,
hei
sdead"

Het
ouchedhi
sneckandl
ookedathi
m.

Hi
m:"Puthi
minsi
de"

Theycar
ryhi
sbodyandputhi
minsi
det
hev
anandhecl
osedi
t.
Hi
m:"Iwi
l
ltakecar
eofhi
sbodyf
rom her
e"

Thepar
amedi
csl
ookedateachot
herandhehoppedi
nthecarandsmi
rked.

"
Wegothi
m,wehav
ebeenwant
inghi
m"

Het
alksont
hephone.

"
Good,
bri
nghi
sbodyi
n"

Hi
m:"Iwi
l
l"

Hehungupanddr
oveof
f.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT20

★SI
YANDA★

Me:
"ar
eyouar
eit
'sagoodchoi
cet
olett
hel
adi
esst
ayt
oget
her?"

Nhl
anhl
a:"asl
ongast
heyar
esaf
eit
'sf
ine."

Me:
"nowwher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
"

Nhl
anhla:
"Tofi
ndIngat
hi'
sbody
.Ineedt
omakesur
eifhei
sal
i
veordead.Wedon'
twant
Nkosi
part2happeni
ng"

Me:
"Yeah.Hadej
ho(sor
ry)
"

Nhl
anhl
a:"y
eahMahi
snott
aki
ngi
twel
l"

Me:
"ev
ery
onei
snot
.Ei
sh"
Hekeptqui
et.Il
ookedbehi
ndmebef
oreIcl
osedmyey
es.

★KAMOGELO★

Si
za:
"Ai
zai
stest
ingmet
othel
astmi
nut
e."

Shesai
dunpacki
ngherclot
hes.Iam gl
adIam notshar
ingar
oom wi
thI
ngat
hi'
swi
fe,
what
woul
dhavebeenofthat
.

Si
za:
"sor
ryIdi
dn'
ti
ntr
oducemy
sel
f."

Me:
"it
'sok.Iknowy
ou"

Si
za:
"Ohy
es.Uhm Thi
sisawkwar
d"

Il
aughed.

Me:
"Kamogel
o"

Si
za:
"ohni
cemeet
ingy
ou"

Me:
"yout
oo"

Si
za:
"Iam sor
ryaboutwhathappenedt
heot
herday"

Me:
"any
onewoul
dactt
hatwayknowi
ngt
hathehasawi
fe"

Si
za:
"Ij
ustwanttoknow,howdi dy'
al
lmeet.Youknewhehadawifeandwhydi
dyouCar
ey
onwant
ingt
ohurtanotherwomanli
kethat
.Iam notj
udgi
ngIam j
ustaski
ng"

Isatont
hebedsi
ghi
ng.

Me: "WhenImetI ngathii

twasn'tongoodterms.Ihadaf ri
end, Pulengandshewasi nt
or ich
guys, shesoldher
selfformarri
edmeni nexchangeofmoneyandagoodl i
fe.Aft
ermyolder
brotherthi
ngsgottough.Ithoughtmay beshegotmeaj oborsomet hingti
lli
ngat
hiexpl
ained
whati shappeni
ngandwewentt hroughwit
hi t
.Hetol
dmef rom thestarthehadawifeandI
didn'twanttocompli
catehisli
fesowekepti tl
iket
hatunti
lrecentl
ywhenhest art
edbreaking
thetermswehad"

Si
za:
"Whi
chi
s?"

Me:
"bei
ngpubl
i
c,hav
ingsomet
hingmor
ethanj
ustexchangi
ngofsexababy"
Si
za:
"Baby?"

Me:"
hetol
dmehewantsababyandIwasconf
used,
whynothav
eitwi
thhi
swi
fe.Mar
ri
ed
menavoi
dhav
ingbabi
eswi
thsi
dechicks."

Si
za:
"Don'
tyout
hinkhel
i
kesy
ou?"

Me:
"Hai
bo"

Si
za:
"towant
ingt
ohav
eababywi
thy
ou"

Me:
"Yeah"

Shel
ooksatme.

Si
za:
"youar
epr
egnantr
ight?"

Me:
"yes"
b

Il
ookeddown.

Si
za:
"ohmywor
d"

Me:
"don'
ttel
lhi
swi
fe"

Si
za:
"Iwon'
tbutIwi
shwehadababyshowerl
i
keIwi
sht
ohav
eababyt
oo"

Me:
"youwi
l
l"

Si
za:"aft
ertwomiscar
ri
agesIdon'
tthi
nkIwantababywi
thAi
zaany
timesoon.Youknowmy
si
sterBewit
chedus"

Me:
"what?"

Si
za:
"foramani
magi
ne"

Me:
"youguy
sdon'
tl
ookl
i
key
ouhadt
roubl
e"

Si
za:
"tr
ustme.Notal
lthatgl
i
tter
sisgol
d"

Thedooropenedandwel
ookedati
t.

Bongi
l
e:"hi
sist
erwi
fe"

Si
za:
"Nx"

Bongi
l
e:"wedon'
tknowy
ou"

Me:
"noneedt
oknowme"
Shecameandsi
tdown.Idon'
tl
ikeheral
ready
,shef
oldsherl
egs.

Bongi
l
e:"hawuIt
houghtwear
eal
lst
ayi
ngher
esoonshoul
dbeni
ce"

Igav
eheral
ook.

Bongi
l
e:"j
ustbecausey
ouusedt
osl
eepwi
thmyf
ri
end'
shusbanddoesn'
tgi
vey
out
her
ightt
o
l
ookatmeliket
hat"

Iswal
l
owed,
shesmi
rked.

Si
za:
"ar
en'
tyousi
mil
ar?"

Bongi
l
e:"Ai
zawasmi
nebef
orey
oucananddeci
dedt
ost
ayi
nmypl
ace"

Si
za:
"hei
smyhusbandst
il
l"

Bongi
l
e:"It
hinkmyf
ri
endwi
l
lbeexci
tedt
ohearsuchnews"

Shest
oodupandwal
kedout
.

★ZAMI
LE★

Iknockedoffatwor
kandImademywayt
oLi
ndi
'shome.Iknockedont
hedoorandher
motheropenedup.

Her:
"Zami
l
e,howar
eyou?"

Me:
"Iam goodMah,
isLi
ndi
her
e?Ihear
d"

Her:
"no,
shewentt
oheri
nlaws.Theycamet
ofet
chher"

Me:
"oh,
okIguess"

Her:
"it
'sr
eal
l
ypai
ning"

Me:
"ver
ymuch.Iwi
l
lcal
lher"

Her:
"ok."

Me:
"by
e"

It
urnedandwal
kedof
f.
.

★LI
NDI★

Nt
ando:
"t
hisf
eel
sli
keav
acat
ion"

Ikeptqui
etandj
ustsi
ppedont
hej
uice.

"
Cel
l
phonespl
ease"

Wet
urnedandi
twasNdal
o.

Me:
"why?"

Ndal
o:"Gi
veupy
ourcel
l
phones.Youwi
l
lgetev
ery
thi
ngoncemat
ter
sset
tl
e"

Nt
ando:
"youar
enott
hebossofus."

Shet
ookourhergunandcr
ockedi
tandpoi
ntedi
tatNt
ando.

Ndalo:
"idon'
tl
ikey
oual
ready,
Iwi
l
lputabul
l
eti
nyourmout
hyouwi
l
lthi
nky
ouar
eswal
l
owi
ng
candy"

Me:
"mi
nei
sher
e"

Iwasshaki
ng.Itookoutmyphoneandt
hrewi
tinsi
det
hebasketshehasinherhand,
she
l
ooksatNtandowhotakesouther
sandt
hrewi
tinsi
det
hebasket.Ndaloshotupandwe
scr
eamedducking.

Ndal
o:"
justI
ncasey
out
hinki
tdoesn'
twor
k"

Nt
ando:
"yesy
es"

Shet
urnedar
oundandBongi
l
ecamet
ous.

Bongi
l
e:"MngohIhav
efoundt
hegi
rlwhohasbeensl
eepi
ngwi
thy
ourman.Iov
erhear
dher"

Me:
"wai
twho?"

Bongi
l
e:"t
heonewhocamewi
thSi
zaandshei
s..
..
."

Shemadeabi
gst
omachsi
gn

Me:
"what?"

Nt
ando:
"hasabel
l
y?"
Bongi
l
e:"hai
boshei
spr
egnant
!"

Me:
"what!
?"

Bongi
l
e:"l
etgosor
therout"

If
eltmyangerr
isi
ng.Ist
oodupwi
thmygl
ass.

Nt
ando:
"whyar
ethesemenbr
ingi
ngi
nsi
dechi
cksher
e"

Imarchedinsi
deandNdalowastaki
ngthei
rphonesastheywerei
nthel
ounge.Igott
othem
andspil
ledthej
uiceonherandshescr
eamedasIslappedher
.

Ndal
o:"Yey
iLi
ndi
we!"

Me:
"itwi
l
lteachy
out
osl
eepwi
thnyHusband"

Shepushedmeof
fherandIt
ri
edt
ohol
dherl
egbutshest
ompedmyhand.

Bongi
l
e:"notmyf
ri
end!Notmyf
ri
end!"

Si
za:
"shutt
hef
uckup!
"

Shet
hrewi
naf
istatBongi
l
eandpul
l
edherweav
e.

Bongi
l
e:"t
hisi
sexpensi
ve!
"

Si
za:
"i
t'
smyhusband'
smoney!"

Igotof
fthefl
oorandmyhandwassor e.Sher
antowar
dst
heki
tchenandIf
oll
owedher
.She
tookapanandIlookedather
.Il
ookedbymyside.

Me:
"theaudaci
tyt
obeher
e!"

Her:
"it
'snotmyf
aul
thewant
edme"

Thatf
uel
edmeup.It
hrewagl
assf
rom t
hecount
ert
oherandsheduckedandt
hrewt
hepan
mydir
ect
ion.

Ndal
o:"Yey
ist
opi
t.Any
onewhof
ight
sIwi
l
lshoott
hem "

Wel
ookedateachot
her
.Si
zawasdr
aggi
ngBongi
l
ebyherbr
aont
hef
loor
.

Bongi
l
e:"l
eav
emeal
one.y
oubr
okemynai
l
s!"

Ndal
o:"
stopi
t!"

Si
zast
opped.

Bongi
l
e:"Iwi
l
lgety
ou,
mynosei
sbl
eedi
ng."
Me:
"You,
you"

Ipoi
ntedather.Iwant
edt
oki
l
lher
.

Ndal
o:"whyar
ewef
ight
ing?"

Weal
lspokeatt
hesamet
imel
i
kewewer
eki
ds.

Ndal
o:"t
hisi
sgoi
ngt
obel
ong"

Shewal
kedout
.Ipouncedandsher
anof
f.

★NDALO★

Iwentt
ocheckonmyboy
sandt
heywer
easl
eep.It
ookoutt
hephoneandcal
l
edNhl
anhl
aand
heanswer
ed.

Nhl
anhl
a:"ar
eyoui
ndanger"

Me:
"it
'samess,
theywi
l
lki
l
leachot
herbef
oret
heCol
umbi
ans"

Nhl
anhl
a:"whathappened?"

Me:
"Li
ndi
wef
oughtwi
tht
hisgi
rlnowAi
za'
swi
fef
oughtwi
thanot
herone"

Nhl
anhl
a:"j
ustcal
mthem down"

Me:
"Nhl
anhl
aRhadebe"

Nhl
anhl
a:"i
twi
l
lbeov
ersoonbaby
.Howar
emyboy
s?"

Me:
"asl
eep."

Nhl
anhl
a:"okIl
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Hehungupandt
her
ewasaknockonmydoor
.Iwentt
oopenandi
twast
hel
adyLi
ndi
we
f
oughtwi
th.

Me:
"yes"

Her:
"hi
,sor
ryt
odi
stur
bit
'
sjustIam scar
ed."
Me:
"of?"

Her:
"Li
ndi
we"

Me:
"youar
ethesi
dechi
ck"

Shel
ookeddownandnodded.

Me:
"comei
n"

Sher
ushesi
nsi
de.Thi
swi
l
lbest
ressf
ul.

★NHLANHLA★

Si
yanda:
"Not
hingf
rom anymot
uar
y"

Hewal
ksoutandHl
ubi
fol
l
owsaf
terhi
m.Iswi
tchof
fmyphoneaf
tert
alki
ngt
oNdal
o.

Me:
"yourwi
fei
sfi
ght
ing"

Hl
ubi
:"who?"

Me:
"yourwi
feAi
za"

Ai
za:
"wewi
l
lat
tendt
hatl
ater
."

Me:
"let
sgphome"

Thabani
:"ourbr
otherl
eftwi
thanambul
ancenextt
hinghei
snowher
etobef
ound"

Me:
"hei
somewher
e."

Ai
za:
"Iam goi
nghome.Ihav
eabusi
nesst
orun"

Hl
ubi
:"t
hisi
sourf
ami
l
y"

Si
za:
"Iknow."

Hewal
kedt
ohi
scar"

Me:
"leav
ehi
m"

Thabani
:"whatnow?
"
Me:
"leav
eitt
ous"

Si
yandal
ookedatme"

★NARRATED★

Theyputhi
m ont
heoper
ati
ont
abl
eandi
thasbeenhour
ssi
ncet
heyhav
elai
dhi
mther
e.

Hi
m:"what
'st
hepur
poseofal
loft
his"

Het
urnedandl
ookedatNt
sika.

Hi
m:"TheCol
umbi
ansar
eaf
terhi
m,wear
eaf
tert
heCol
umbi
ans"

Nt
sika:
"meani
ng?
"

Hi
m:"hei
sbasi
cal
l
ybai
t"

Nt
sika:
"isheok?"

Hi
m:"wewi
l
ljustseeaf
tert
heoper
ati
on.Hei
shol
dingont
hough"

Nt
sika:
"It
houghthei
sdead"

Hi
m:"t
heyf
ail
edt
ofi
ndhi
spul
sebuthei
sweak.Ver
yweak"

Theytur
nedar
oundandwal
kedawayfr
om thegl
asstheywer
el ooki
ngf
rom i
ntot
heoper
ati
on
room wher
ehi
sbodywasbei
ngcutandpokedanddoneever
ything.

Hi
m:"cal
lSanel
e"

Nt
sika;
"oni
t"

Hewal
kedof
f.

Hi
m:"ohandAguynamedBr
uise"

Nt
sikanoddedandwal
kedof
f.

Tobecont
inued
~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT21

★AI
ZA★

TodayIam wor kingfrom home.Wear esti

l
linsear
chofIngat
hi '
sbody.Itjustdisappear
ed
l
ikethat,Iam f
r ustr
atedaswel l.Si
zai
snothereandbusi
nessisnotgoingwel lthismonth,our
tr
ucksar ebei
ngSt opped, burnedatthesametimeanditfr
ustr
ating.Sofarwehav el
ost8
dri
versintheGaut engDistr
ictalone.Myphoneri
ngsanditakeitandit'
sMom.Isi ghandI
answerthephonecal l.

Me:
"Mah"

Mom :
"Ai
za,
whati
sthatgoodf
ornot
hingt
hingofy
our
sdoi
ng?Sheshoul
dbeher
enow"

Me:
"Don'
tyouhat
eher?

Mom.:
"Ido"

Me:
"Idon'
thav
eti
mef
ort
his"

Mom :
"Ai
za!
"

Ihungupandsi
ghed.Ther
ewasaknockonmydoorandt
hataddedt
omyi
rr
it
ati
on.

Me:
"comei
n"

Thedooropenedandaheadpeakedi
n.

"Sorr
ytodist
urby
ousir,
AMsJonescal
l
edsay
ingt
hemeet
ingwi
thy
ourempl
oyeesaty
our
pet
rolst
ati
onhasbeenmoved"

Me:
"Ican'
theary
oucomei
n"

Shewal
kedi
nsi
deandshepl
acedapaperont
het
abl
eandi
tooki
tandr
eadi
t.

Me:
"oh,
Isee.Thanky
ou"

Shenodded.

Sne:
"needany
thi
ngel
se?"
Me:
"NoIam good."

Sne:
"yessi
r"

Shet
urnedar
oundandIl
ookedather
.

Me:
"Snet
hemba!
"

Shet
urnsar
ound.

Me:
"Doy
ouhav
waboy
fri
end?"

Sne:
"No"

Ist
oodupfrom mydeskandwalkedtost
andinf
rontofi
tandl
ookedatherf
rom t
opt
obot
tom.
Heruni
for
m washoldi
nghert
hickbodyandshapi
ngit.

Me:
"Mmmh"

★SI
ZA★

Me:
"It
'sdayt
woandal
readyImi
sshome.Whenar
ethesemencomi
ng?"

Kamo:
"Idon'
tgetal
loft
his"

Ndal
o:"Youwon'
t"

Sheshookt
hebot
tl
eforherchi
l
d.

Me:
"isn'
theol
dforabot
tl
e?"

Ndal
o:"Hei
sbuthecan'
tl
iv
ewi
thouti
t"

Shehandsi
tov
ert
oherson.

Me:
"youar
eluckyt
ohav
esuchbeaut
if
ulboy
s"

Kamo:
"youwi
l
lhav
eki
ds."

Me:
"Idoubt
.Mi
scar
ri
ageshur
t"

Ndalo:
"tr
ygi
vi
ngbi
rt
htoachi
l
dandi
tdi
edwi
thouty
ouseei
ngi
tory
ourchi
l
dbei
ngshoti
nfr
ont
ofyou"
Kamo:
"ohmyGod.Iam sor
ryf
ort
hat
"

Ndal
o:"Myl
i
fei
sabook(l
aughi
ng)butIwoul
dn'
ttr
adei
tforany
thi
ngbecauseIl
ear
nedand
l
iv
ed."

Me:
"howmanyki
dsdi
dyoul
oose?"

Ndal
o:"8"

Kamo:
"Iam scar
ed"

Ndal
o:"don'
tbe."

Me:
"yeahdon'
tst
ress.Iam sor
ryf
ory
ourl
oss"

Ndal
o:"Thanky
ou"

Boy1:
"mamaCedi
l
eehl
i
sa(mommyIam done.Getmedown)
"

Ndal
ogetsherki
dsdownandtakesthebot
tl
esandgoestowasht
hem ,
theywal
koutandt
he
ot
herladi
escomein.Kamopul
lsthechi
psclosert
oher
.

Ndal
o:"Idon'
twantanyf
ight
ing"

Li
ndi
:"Nx"

Me:
"Ineedt
hebat
hroom."

Ist
oodupandIwal
kedof
f.I
t'
swor
senowt
hatourphonesgotconf
iscat
ed.

★ZAMI
LE★

Mom :
"Ihav
ebeent
ryi
ngSi
zakel
esi
ncel
astni
ght"

Me:
"May
beshef
orgotaboutus"

Mom :
"hai
bo,
may
bei
t'
sthef
uner
alpr
epar
ati
ons.Howi
sLi
ndi
?"

Me:
"Idi
dn'
tgett
oseeher
.Shewentbackt
oheri
nlaws"

Mom :
"that
'sgood.That
'sherhusband"

Me:
"yes."
Wecar
ryonwashi
ngt
hewi
ndows.Ihat
ehear
ingSi
za'
sname.

★KAMOGELO★

Ndal
oandi
star
twithbaki
ngandSi
zawentt
othebedr
oom t
olaydown.It
hinkt
heki
d'
sissuei
s
get
ti
ngt
oheral
ot.

Me:
"shoul
dIcheckuponher?"

Ndal
o:"wewi
l
lwi
th.Cupofchocol
ate."

Inodded.

Ndal
o:"
"sot
ell
mey
ourst
ory,
Youbei
ngI
ngat
hi'
ssi
dechi
ck"

Me:
"longandcompl
i
cat
ed."

Ndal
o:"wehav
eti
me"

Iwasaboutt
ospeakwhent
hedooropenedandherhusbandwal
kedi
nandsomeot
herguyand
Hlubi
aswell
.

Hl
ubi
:"Kamo"

Inodded.Herhusbandki
ssedhercheek.

Ndal
o:"t
hisi
sbacksosoon.Wear
eleav
ing?"

Si
yanda:
"Noty
et.Wecamet
ocheckupony
ou"

Hl
ubi
:"wher
eisNt
ando?"

Me:
"theot
herr
oom "

Hewal
kedof
f.

Nhl
anhl
a:"wecan'
tfi
ndI
ngat
hi'
sbody"

Me:
"What
?"

Theyl
ookedatme.

Ndal
o:"y
out
ell
meheescaped?
"
Si
yanda:
"hewasdecl
areddead.Theambul
ancet
ookhi
m butwedon'
tknowwher
e"

Ndal
o:"y
ouhav
egott
osear
chhar
der"

Nhl
anhl
a:"wewi
l
l"

Si
yanda:
"wher
eIst
heot
herone?"

Mw:
"bedr
oom "

Henoddedandwal
kedof
f.Ihopet
heyf
indhi
sbody
.

Me:
"hemi
ghtbeal
i
ve?"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Idon'
tthi
nkso"

Inodded.

Me:
"Iwi
l
lbeout
side"

Il
eftt
hem al
lal
oneandwal
kedoutandt
ookast
rol
l
.

★SI
ZA★

Thepainsti
l
l f
eel
sf r
esh.Likeitj
usthappenedatthismoment,Icoul
dn'
tst
opthi
nkingofhow
myl i
fej
usttookbadturnssincef
oreveranditdrai
nsme.Aknockont hedoordi
stur
bsmy
thought
sandIwi pemyt ear
sandholdontot hepil
l
owwhilesni
ffi
ng.

"Whyar
eyousi
tt
ingal
one?"

Me:
"Iwantt
obeal
one."

Isatup.

Me:
"wher
eisAi
za?"

Hewal
kedi
n.

Si
yanda:
"Home"

Myhear
taches.

Me:
"wi
l
lIseehi
m ?"
Si
yanda:
"it
'supt
ohi
m.Hl
ubi
isdownst
air
s"

Inodded.

Si
yanda:
"Ar
eyousur
eyouar
efi
ne?
"

Inoddedandendedupshaki
ngmyheadandasobescapesmyl
i
ps.

Si
yanda:
"uhm "

Me:
"itst
il
lhur
ts"

Hest
andsupandcomesbymysi
deandengul
fsmei
ntoahug.

Si
yanda:
"it
'sok"

Ikeptoncr
ying.

★SNE★

Me:
"uhm ,
thecamer
as.Yourwi
fe"

Heki
ssesmyneck.

Hi
m:"shewon'
tknow"

Inoddedandhemademepl acemyhandsont hedesk.Hesl

ippedi
nandIgaspedbi
tt
ingmy
bott
om li
pandhepull
edbackandthr
usteddeeplyt
histi
meandamoanescapedmyli
ps.He
theni
ncreasedhi
spacehol
dingmybigbutt
.

Ai
za:
"Shi
t!"

Me:
"ah"

Imoanandhesl
owl
ydownandqui
ckenshi
spaceagai
n.

Ai
za:
"fucky
ouar
esot
ight
"

Me:
"ohmy!
"

Hegroansf
rom t
hedepthofhi
sthr
oatandhesl
owsdownandkeepsont
hrust
ingsl
owl
y.He
spankedmybut
tcheeks.

Me:
"mmmh"
It
hrewmyheadbackAsheki
ssedmyshoul
der
s.Whatagi
ft
edmandownt
her
e,Icanf
eel
ev
eryt
hingofhi
s.

★KAMOGELO★

Me:
"Heybaby"

Ir
ubbedmyst
omach.

Me:
"yourf
atherpl
annedy
out
obeher
eandy
ouar
eher
e."

Isni
ff
edandt
ri
edwi
ppi
ngmyt
ear
s.

Me:
"hel
ovesy
ousomuch.Il
ovey
out
oo.Iknowy
ouwoul
dhav
elov
edhi
m"

Isni
ff
ed.

Me:
"andIt
hinkIl
ovedhi
mtoo"

"Iam sor
ry"

It
urned.

Ndal
o:"Iknowt
hatpai
n"

Me:
"wher
eisy
ourhusband?"

Ndal
o:"f
rust
rat
edandt
aki
ngof
fhi
sfr
ust
rat
ionbyhangi
ngoutwi
thhi
sboy
s."

Me:
"iam j
ustt
hesi
dechi
ck,
Ishoul
dn'
tfeel
athi
ng"

Ndal
o:"i
t'
sokt
olov
esomeone"

Me:
"Il
ovemybaby"

Ndal
o:"becausei
t'
sapar
tofhi
mthaty
ouhav
elef
t?"

Ikeptqui
et.

Ndal
o:"y
ouar
eyoungKamoandl
i
fehasbeent
oughbutknowev
ery
thi
ngwor
ksout
."

Me:
"youar
eyoung"

Shel
aughed.
Ndal
o:"32i
sver
yol
d"

Il
aughed.

Ndal
o:"y
ouwi
l
lbeok"

Inodded.Shei
sani
cescar
ywoman.

★SI
ZA★

Me:
"ithasbeenhar
d."

Hei
ssi
l
entaf
terIhav
enar
rat
edmywhol
eli
fet
ohi
m.

Me:
"It
hinkhehaschanged."

Si
yanda:
"hewasagr
eatfri
endbutneveragoodhusband.Hewi
l
lnev
erchangebecausehe
wasn'
tmentt
obeahusbandforyoubythel
ooks."

Me:
"Il
ovehi
m"

Siy
anda:"hewil
lhur
tyouagai
natsomepointti
l
lyouwantt
otakey
ourl
i
feaway
.Imeant
hink
abouti
t.I
fhereal
lywant
edtochangehewouldhavedonei
tal
ongti
meago"

Il
i
ftedmyheadf
rom hi
schest
.

Me:
"yout
hink?"

Si
yanda:
"Iknow."

Isi
ghedandhemademel
aymyheadonhi
schest
.

Me:
"It
'st
ough"

Tobecont
inued
~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT22

★NDALO★

Hecamedownt
hest
air
sandIwasmaki
ngmywayupt
ocheckonSi
zaaswel
l
.

Nhl
anhl
a:"CanIhav
esomebef
oreIl
eav
e?"

Me:
"notunt
ilI
ngat
hi'
sbodyi
sfound"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Soy
ouwi
l
lst
arv
eme?"

Inoddedandwal
kedupt
hest
air
s.

Nhl
anhl
a:"At
leastone"

Me:
"int
heki
tchen"

Hewalkedfurt
herdownt hest
airs.Iwentt
othebedr
oom andknockedf
ir
standSi
yanda
openedthedoor.Ir
aisedmybr ow.

Si
yanda:
"By
e"

Hewal
kedoutandi
stoodt
her
elooki
ngathi
m ashedi
sappear
edbef
oremaki
ngmywayi
nsi
de.

Me:
"Heyar
eyouok?"

Shesatup.

Si
za:
"yesIam."

Me:
"webakedt
hese"

Si
za:
"wher
ear
etheot
her
s?"

Me:
"li
vi
ngr
oom "

Shenoddedandi
placedt
het
rayont
hebedandsatnextt
oher
.

Me:
"it
'sokt
ofeel
hur
tbutdon'
tsuf
feral
one.Tal
ktosomeone"
Si
za:
"Wher
eisAi
za?
"

Me:
"Home"

Si
za:
"canIgohome?"

Me:
"Iam af
rai
dnot
.Nowt
hatI
ngat
hi'
sbodyi
smi
ssi
ngwehav
etobeal
ert"

Si
za:
"youseem t
obeusedt
otheset
hings"

Me:
"it
'sl
i
fe"

Si
za:
"Iwi
l
lhav
eonemuf
fi
n"

Ismi
l
edandwat
chedhert
akeonewar
m muf
fi
nandst
uffi
tinherf
ace.

★UNKNOWN ★

Hewal kedi
nsidetheroom whi
leIwasl
ooki
ngathimlayi
ngont
hebed. TheDrhasjust
checkedonhim andthesurger
ywasasuccess. It
urnedasNt
sikaappr
oachedmeandhe
stoodnextt
ome.

Nt
sika:
"IgotSanel
ebutnotBr
uise"

Me:
"wai
tforhi
mtowakeupt
henwemaket
hatcal
l"

Nt
sika:
"wher
ewi
l
lthathel
p?"

Me:
"asIsai
d.Weuset
hem t
ogetwhatwewant,
wehav
elev
erageov
ert
hem "

Nt
sika:
"Whi
chi
s?"

Me:
"TheHar
bouroper
ati
on."

Iputmyhandont
hewal
l
.

Me:
"Itwoul
dbeapi
tyi
fitwentdown"

Nt
sika:
"per
fectt
hen."

"
Gener
aly
ouhav
eacal
l"

It
urnedandshehandedt
hephonet
omeandIwal
kedof
f.
Me:
"Gener
alspeaki
ng"

Her:
"Don'
tbef
ormal
,Imi
ssy
ouandy
ouhav
en'
tcal
l
edi
ntwoday
s."

Ismi
rked.

Me:
"Thi
ngshav
ebeenkeepi
ngmebusyandIknowt
hat
'snotanexcusesoIam sor
ry"

Her:
"Youknowi
t'
snot
."

Me:
"andIam sor
ry"

Ipl
ayedwi
thmyr
ingonmyl
eftr
ingf
inger
.

Her:
"justwant
edt
omakesur
eIst
il
lhav
eahusbandoutt
her
e"

Me:
"youdo,
alway
s"

Her:
"Il
ovey
ouSnuggl
es"

Ichuckl
ed.

Me:
"Il
i
vef
ory
ou"

Shegi
ggl
ed.

"Wear
eget
ti
ngf
eedback"

Me:
"Ihav
etogo"

Her:
"ok"

Isighbef
orehangi
ngup.Iappr
eci
ateherpat
iencewi
thme,
Itur
nandhel
ooksatmeshaki
ng
hishead.

Me:
"let
'sgo"

Wewal
koutandwegot
owher
ewear
eneeded.

★SNE★

Iletthewarm wat
erfl
owwhil
eIsplashitonmyskinandi tmakesitr
elax,
mybodyrelaxaswel
l
.
Iclosemyey esasthest
eam I
scoveri
ngthewholebathroom ,doeshedothatt
ohi
swi f
e?It
feltmagical
andmakesmybodyt i
ngles,Icanst
il
lfeel
hiskissesonmyskin.Hishandsonmy
waistgoi
ngdowntomybutt.Icanf
eeleverythrustandhearhissof
tgr
oansr
inginginmyear.
Ibi
tmybot t
om l
ipandhol
dmybodytogether.Keepi tt
ogetherSnet
hemba.I
tjusttookone
si
mpl emoveandIwasunderhi
sspel
lthatcan'tbebrokenanyti
mesoon.

"Ar
eyouok?"

Itur
naroundandheisleani
ngbythedoorf
rameweari
nghi
sshort
s.AizaBi
yase,itwasabi
g
honourtoworkf
orhim butt
his,
thisj
ustt
ookthecupi
never
yaspectofmyl
ife,Inodsl
owly
andletoutasof
trepl
y.

Me:
"Iam ok"

Ai
za:
"Thewat
erwi
l
lgetcol
dsoon. Ior
der
edf
ood"

Me:
"yessi
r"

Ai
za:
"Cal
lmeAi
za"

Inodded.Hewal
kedi
nfur
therandi
pul
l
edmy
sel
ftoget
her
.Hesatont
het
oil
etseatand
watchedme.

Ai
za:
"rel
ax"

Ibr
eat
hedoutandhest
oodupandcamecl
osert
ome.

Ai
za:
"youar
ebeaut
if
ul"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Ishyedaway.Heputhi
sfi
nger
sundermychinandhemademel ookathi
m bef
orehel
eaned
overandki
ssedmyli
ps. Ir
espondedt
othatandIf
eltbut
ter
fl
iesinmystomach,hebr
okeit
.

Ai
za:
"don'
twor
ryaboutany
thi
ngbesi
desus"

Inodded.

Ai
za:
"good"

Ismil
ed.Thiswil
lbewonder
ful
,heseemsl
i
keawonder
ful
man.Amanev
erywomandr
eams
tohave.Hi
swifei
sluckyt
obemar r
iedt
ohi
m.

★BONGI
LE★
Me:
"Howar
eyou?"

Li
ndi:
"Iam angr
yatI
ngat
hiandt
hatt
hing,
howcoul
dtheydot
hist
ome.Ihav
eal
way
sbeen
goodt
ohim"

Me:
"yeahy
ouhav
ekodway
oust
oleababybef
ore"

Li
ndi
:"don'
tev
enst
artBongi
l
eitwon'
tendwel
l"

Nt
ando:
"Iam hungr
y"

Shesi
tsnextt
ouseat
ing.

Me:
"Iam j
ustwai
ti
ngf
orAi
zat
ocome"

Nt
ando:
"menwhoar
ededi
cat
edt
ous"

Me:
"mxm "

Li
ndi
:
"Iam goi
ngt
oLi
edown"

Me:
"don'
tdr
eam t
oomuch"

Shewal
ksof
f.Kamowal
ksi
n

Me:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"

Kamo:
"icamet
osi
t"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lsl
i
tyourt
hroat
"

Kamo:
"youshoul
dbewor
ri
edaboutSi
zanotme"

Shesatdown.Icl
i
ckedmyt
ongue.

★SI
ZA★

Me:
"CanIcal
lhi
m ?,
justabi
t"

Ndal
o:"noy
oucan'
t,
theycant
racey
ourcal
lsoi
t'
snotsaf
e"

Isi
ghedandl
aidont
hebed.
Ndal
o:"Iam goi
ngof
f.Iwi
l
lseey
ou"

Inoddedandshestoodupandwal
kedout.Iwantt
oknowhowhei
s,af
termysi
ster
bewit
chingus,Iam r
eal
lywor
ri
edabouthi
m.Somuch.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT23

★ZAMI
LE★

Iam worri
ed.Li
ndiweisnowheret
obefoundfort
hepastmonthandwearesti
l
linsear
ch.We
haverepor
tedtothepol
iceandt
heyar
edoingaverysl
owjob.Ihopeshei
sfi
newherevershei
s
.

Mom :
"Ungangenaamakhaza(
Don'
tgetcol
d)"

It
ookt
hej
acket
.

Me:
"Iwon'
tby
e"

Mom :
"by
e"

Shesmilesfai
ntl
yandiknowsheisst
il
lworri
edaboutSi
zakel
e,Iam notev
enonebi
twor
ri
ed
aboutherbecausei
t'
snotmyprobl
em i
nany way
.Iwalktowardsthegat
eandMaZumaseems
tobedeepinthought
s.Iopenedthegateandheshoutsforme.Whatnow?

MaZuma:
"unj
ani
?(Howar
eyou?)
"

Me:
"Iam good"

MaZuma:
"Why?"
Me:
"Huh?"

MaZuma:
"whydoy
oudoy
oursi
sterl
i
ket
hat?"

Me:
"Pl
easel
eav
emeal
one"

MaZuma:
"Ev
ery
thi
ngbadgoesbackt
oit
sowner
"

Shewalkedof
ftoherhouseandIwat
chedunti
lshecl
osedt
hedoor
.Icl
i
ckedmyt
ongue
walki
ngoffmaki
ngmywayt oMyboyfri
end'
shouse.

★BONGI
LE★

Ndal
o:"Phonesf
ort
heni
ght
.Youar
egonnashar
e"

Shesl
i
dasmal
lphonet
ous.

Kamogel
o:"Ij
ustwantt
ocal
lmymot
herandseei
fshei
sst
il
lfi
ne"

Ndal
o:"ok"

It
aket
hephonef
ir
st.Si
zawasi
nthebedr
oom andi
twascol
dtoday,
wewer
eatt
hel
ounge.

Me:
"Ineedt
ocal
lAi
za"

Ist
oodupandwalkedt
ot heout
side.Icoul
dheart
hecar
s,Isawt
heheadl
i
ght
sthr
ought
he
dar
knessbutIi
gnor
edthem.Itgotanswered.

"
hel
l
o"

Me:
"bi
tchwhoar
eyou?"

Shewassi
l
ence.

Me:
"gi
vet
hatphonet
oAi
za,
whatar
eyoudoi
ngwi
thmyman'
sphone?
"

Thecal
lgothungup.It
ri
edhi
m agai
nbutnot
hingt
hist
ime.

"Goi
nsi
de!
"

Me:
"Nx"
Icl
i
ckedmyt ongueandwal
kedpasthi
m.Sohei
scheat
ingonus?Ican'
tbel
i
evet
his.
Iwal
ked
i
nsideandgavethephonet
oKamo.

Li
ndo:
"ar
eyouok?"

Me:
"don'
task"

Isatont
hecouch

Li
ndi
:
"whenar
eyouf
indi
ngmyhusband?
"

Kamo:
"Iam t
ir
edofl
i
vingher
e"

Wel
ookedather
.

Me:
"wedon'
tneedy
ourcomment
s."

Kamo:
"letmegoandcal
lmymot
hert
hen"

Shest
oodupandLi
ndi
cli
ckedhert
ongueasshewal
kedof
f.

Hl
ubi
:"behav
e"

Li
ndi
:"whyi
ssheher
eany
way?Iam hi
swi
fe"

Nhl
anhl
a:"y
oudon'
tquest
ionourdeci
si
ons"

Shekeptquiet
.Thismanissomet
hingel
se.Justhi
spr
esencedoessomet
hingtoones
hor
mones, Il
ookedathi
m andmyeyesl
andedonhiscr
otch,it
'spr
int
edt
hroughhispant
s.I
woul
dn'tmindsetti
ngi
tfr
ee.

Me:
"ist
her
ewi
ne?Ineedt
orel
i
evest
ress"

Theykeptqui
etandNdal
ost
oodupandhef
oll
owedherupt
hest
air
s.Iam sur
ehei
sabeast
ever
ywhere.

Li
ndi
:"Bongi
l
e"

Me:
"mmmh?
"

Shel
ookedatme.

Me:
"Iam j
ustl
ooki
ngar
ound"

Li
ndi
:"mmh"

Il
ookedatt
hest
air
swheret
heydi
sappear
edt
o,i
fal
lfai
l
swi
thAi
zahei
sanopt
ionr
ight?Hi
s
ev
erythi
ngi
scal
l
ingmetohi
m.
.

★NDALO★

i
wal
kedi
nthebedr
oom Iusewi
tht
heki
dsandhef
oll
owsi
nsi
deandcl
osest
hedoor
.

Nhl
anhl
a:"If
eel
li
keIdi
dsomet
hingwr
ongwi
tht
hewayy
oust
ormedof
f."

Me:
"Iwanthergonebef
oreIki
l
lherandbur
yherundert
hisbed"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Cal
m down"

Me:"Yeyi
Nhlanhl
angekeungi
tshel
eukut
hi(
Nhl
anhl
ayouwon'tt
ell
met hat)Ishoul
dcal
m
downforwhatwhi
lewearehar
bouringawit
cht
hati
salr
eadyeyei
ngyou."

Nhl
anhl
a:"Ok,
wewi
l
lmov
eher"

Me:"shehasnoconnect
iont
oSizaany
mor esowhyissheher
eKamoi
spr
egnantsoi
t'
s
under
standabl
e,shei
str
oubl
eandiam loosi
ngi
twit
hher.!"

Iwentt
othewar
drobe.

Nhl
anhl
a:"OkNdal
owewi
l
llethergo"

Me:
"pl
easedo,
Iam t
ryi
ngnott
ost
rangl
eherf
ort
hepastmont
handi
t'
senoughnow"

Hecamecl
ose.

Nhl
anhl
a:"shewi
l
lbegonebyt
omor
rowmor
ning"

Me:
"don'
ttouchme"

Nhl
anhl
a:"whatdi
dIdo?"

Me:
"youar
eonpr
obat
iont
il
lyoul
ear
nnott
obr
ingi
rr
elev
antsi
dechi
cks."

Nhl
anhl
a:"i
t'
snotmysi
dechi
ck"

Me:
"It
sal
esson"

Nhl
anhl
a:"nowt
hatIwon'
thav
e"

It
ookoutt
het
owel
andmybat
hingsoaps.

Me:
"cl
oset
hedoorony
ourwayout"
Iwal
kedt
othebat
hroom andcl
osedt
hedoor
.

★SNE★

OhmyGod, whati
fhi
swif
ef i
ndsoutaboutwhatwehavebeendoi
ng.Ioutthephonedown
andhecomesoutoft
hebathr
oom andhopeont hebedt
aki
ngoffhi
stowelandlayi
ngnaked
nextt
ome.

Me:
"someonecal
l
ed"

Ai
za:
"who?"

Me:
"Iam notsur
e.Idi
dn'
tanswer"

Ai
za:
"ohl
eav
eit"

Inodded,
hepul
l
edmet
ohi
m.

Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
ourski
n"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Heki
ssesmyar
m

Ai
za:
"comegetonme"

Ir
emov
edt
hecov
erandi
gotonhi
m andhepl
acedhi
shandsonmywai
st.

Me:
"whatshoul
dIdo?"

Ai
za:
"justgr
indoni
t."

Inoddedandgr
indedonhi
m andhebi
thi
sbot
tom l
i
p.Icoul
dfeel
itgr
owi
ngandIwasget
ti
ng
wetaswell.

Ai
za:
""
sli
piti
n,Yout
ast
egoodr
aw"

Me:
"ok"

It
ookhi
sshaf
tandsl
i
ppedi
tinmeandi
moanedasi
tst
ret
chedi
t'
swayi
nsi
deme.

Me:
"Ah"

Ist
art
edmov
ingsl
owl
ywhi
l
ethr
owi
ngmyheadbackandhehel
dmywai
stassi
sti
ngme.
Ai
za:
"comeki
ss"

Il
eanedoverandIki
ssedhisli
psandheheldmybut
twhileIwasmov
ing.Imoanedi
nhi
s
mouthandhegroaned,thatsentshi
ver
sdownmyspine.

★UNKOWN★

"
Wehav
ecl
osedt
heDr
ugr
ingont
heeastsi
de"

Me:
"good"

Hedr
oppedt
hef
il
eont
het
abl
e.

Sanel
e:"Howi
sher
espondi
ng?
"

Me:
"per
fect
lywel
l,hej
usthasn'
twokenup"

Sandi
l
e:"gi
vei
tsomet
ime"

Me:
"theCol
umbi
ansar
eont
hel
oose"

Sanel
e:"wecanst
il
ldosomet
hingar
ound.
..
..
"

Me:
"no,
wewi
l
ljustst
ri
ke"

Henodded.

Sanel
e:"Iam goi
ngbackhome"

Me:
"gr
eetmywi
fef
orme"

Hechuckl
ed.

Sanel
e:"
Iwi
l
l"

Het
urnedandwal
kedoutofmyof
fi
ce.

★SI
ZA★
Iwaspackingmycl ot
hesnicelyint
omysui t
case,Idon'twanttobehereanymor e.Seeingthe
ki
dsdepressmesomuch, Ihaven'
tint
eract
edwiththeothersi
ntwoday s.Kamoev engota
di
ffer
entroom becauseofhowi am.Isnapatt i
mesandIj ustneedtobebymy self
.Iam not
usedtohavingpeoplewhoaskedmei fIam okorsti
ll
operati
ngwell.I
tjustpassedlikethat
.

"
Youl
ookbet
ter"

It
urnedar
oundandhewasst
andi
ngbyt
hedoorf
rame.

Me:
"hi
"

If
aint
lysmi
l
ed

Si
yanda:
"youar
egood?"

Inodded.

Me:
"yeah"

Si
yanda:
"goi
ngsomewher
e?"

Ne:
"iam notusedt
osi
tt
ingwi
thpeopl
esoIam uncomf
ort
abl
e"

Si
yanda:
"youwi
l
lgetusedt
oit"

Hi
sscenthi
tmynost
ri
ls.

Me:
"howi
sev
ery
thi
nggoi
ng?"

Si
yanda:
"st
il
lbutIam nother
efort
hat"

Me:
"youar
eher
eforhat?"

Si
yanda:
"you"

Me:
"Iam ok"

Si
yanda:
"Hav
eyouev
erf
eltt
ingl
esbef
ore?"

Igi
ggl
ed.Hechuckl
ed.

Me:
"yes"

Hecomescl
oser
.

Si
yanda:
"whyar
eyoul
aughi
ng?
"

Me:
"Icani
magi
ney
ouhav
ingt
ingl
es"

Hehel
dmywai
st
Si
yanda:
"Igett
hem whenIseey
ou"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Me:
"Si
ya"

Helookedatmeaswel l
befor
ehisl
i
psreachedmine. Hepar
tedmyl ipsandstart
edkissing
me.Icl osedmyey esandheouthi
swarm handonmycheekandIr espondedputti
ngmyt i
ny
handoverhis.Ibr
oketheki
ssslowl
y,If
eltt
hoseti
ngl
esormay beIhav en'
tbeenki
ssedlikethat
i
nal ongtime.

Me:
"Iam mar
ri
edSi
yanda"

Si
yanda:
"wher
eishe?"

Me:
"I.
.."

Heki
ssedMeagai
nandIcoul
dn'
tresi
sti
t.

Me:
"Si
yanda"

Isaybreaki
ngt
heki
ssandhej
ustpi
cksmeupandst
art
stoki
ssmyneckwhi
l
egoi
ngt
ocl
ose
thedoorandpi
nsmeonit
.

Me:
"mmh"

Hishandswentundermywool
dressandhecaressedmyboobswhi
leki
ssi
ngme.Icouldfeel
mybodybetray
ingme.Heperkedmyl i
psandhepushedmythingt
othesi
deandIf
elthi
s
f
ingersl
ipi
nandImoaned.Hekissedmyli
pssuppressi
ngmymoan.[Sci
ssor
ed]

★KAMOGELO★

Me:
"mah"

Mom :
"Kamogel
osendsomemoneypl
easebooboo"

Icanheart
hatshei
sdr
unk.

Me:
"pl
easebesaf
e"

Tear
srandownmyey
es.

Mom :
"lov
eyou"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo."

Isni
ff
edandhungupbef
oreIst
art
edcr
ying.

"
Iam sor
ry"

Hecameandsatnextt
omeandIwi
pedmyt
ear
s.

Hl
ubi
:
"itwi
l
lbeok"

HehuggedmeandIcar
ri
edoncr
ying.

Tobecont
inued.

Sci
ssor
edsceneunderannouncement.

ht
tps:
//www.
facebook.
com/
groups/
283798095976812/

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT24

★KAMOGELO★

Ihadawei rddream andsincethenIhav ebeenawakesincemor ni

ng.IdreamtofIngathi
holdingourchil
dandheki ssedtheforeheadandmi ne."Thankyou"hesaidwhilesmili
ngandI
returnedt
hef avour. Heheldusclosetohi m andIwokeup.Imi sshim,Iam putt
ingitout
thereandIdidn'tthi
nkIwil
l.Maybeit'
sbecauseIhav eapartofhim gr
owi
ngi nsi
deofthat
makesmemi sshim andcryatthesamet ime.Iwi pemytearsandlayonthebedlookingatthe
ceili
ng.Imisshim, j
ustonemomentt oseehi schildwoul
dbeenough.
.

★AI
ZA★

TodayIam goi
ngtocheckonSiza,i
thasbeenawhileandIhav
ebeenbusybutIneedt
ocheck
onmywi f
e.Igetoutofthebat
hroom andShewakesupandsit
sup.

Sne:
"needany
thi
ng?"

Me:
"No,
Iam goi
ngt
omywi
fe"

Sne:
"oh,
whenI
sshecomi
ngback?"

Me:
"notany
timesoon"

Sne:
"ohok"

Iwentt
otheclosetandsel
ect
edclot
hestowear.If
ini
shupandspr
aysomeper
fumeandt
henI
wearmywatch. Iwalkoutofthecl
osetandt
akeoutmycar
d.

Me:
"Gobuysomet
hingni
ce"

Sne:
"thanky
ou"

Iki
ssedherf
orehead.

Me:
"behav
e"

Sne:
"Iwi
l
l"

It
ookmyphoneandwal
kedout
.

★SI
ZA★

Iopenedmyeyesandmybodyfeel
sheav
y,It
ri
edt
omov
ebuti
coul
dn'
tandt
heni
not
iced
Siy
andahassomeheavywei
ghtonme.

Me:
"Si
yanda"

It
appedhi
m sof
tl
y,hemov
esandwr
apsmewi
thhi
sar
msswal
l
owi
ngmei
nsi
det
hem.
Me:
"Si
yanda"

Si
yanda:
"Babe"

Me:
"weshoul
dwakeup?Iam sur
etheot
her
shear
dus"

Si
yanda:
"so?"

Me:
"Whatwi
l
lIsayt
oAi
za?
"

Si
yanda:
"yousuppor
thi
m somuch"

Me:
"Idon'
t,Iam j
ustaski
ng"

Si
yanda:
"st
opwor
ryi
ng.Iam her
e"

Isi
ghed.

Si
yanda:
"rel
axuphol
i
sei
gazi
Munt
wam (r
elaxmyper
son)
"

Me:
"si
ncewhen?"

Si
yanda:
"angi
thisi
sashay
aabo6'9wenaubuthi
Siy
andangi
yakut
handa(whowewer
edoi
ng
6'
9youwerebusyscreami
ng'
Siy
andaIlov
ey ou"

Igi
ggl
ed.

Me:
"thatdoesn'
tsoundl
i
keme"

Si
yanda:
"Itdoes"

Heki
ssedmycheek.

Si
yanda:
"yournecki
sred"

Me:
"whydoy
ouhav
esi
l
kysof
thai
r?ar
eyoumi
xed?"

Si
yanda:
"Iam Zul
u"

Me:
"Isee"

Si
yanda:
"Comeher
e"

Hepul
l
edmeont
opofhi
m.

Si
yanda:
"Youmakemeshy"

Il
aughed.

Me:
"youar
esosi
l
ly"
Hechuckl
ed.

Si
yanda:
"idi
otspl
aydest
roydi
amonds"

Ikeptqui
et.Hepul
l
edmetohim andwesharedaki
ss,
thewayhehandl
esmei
swi
thcar
e.He
l
ift
smeupandhesl i
psi
nonceagain. If
li
nchabi
t.

Si
yanda:
"Iam sor
ry"

Me:
"it
'sok"

Imov
edsl
owl
yandweshar
edaki
ss.

★LI
NDI
★

Bongi
l
ewasal
lupanddr
esseddoi
ngherhai
randmakeup.

Me:
"whyar
eyouupear
ly?"

Bongi
l
e:"
nor
eason"

Me:
"Ndal
oisnotSi
za"

Bongi
l
e:"whosai
dany
thi
ngabouther?"

Me:
"Iam j
ustwar
ning"

Igotof
fthebedandmademywayt
othebat
hroom l
eav
ingher.

Bongi
l
e:"Cel
'
uki
ss,
kuweBhut
i.Uki
ssov
uthay
o"

Shekeptonsi
ngi
ng.Ishookmyhead.Iwon'
tsav
eher,
Ndal
oissweety
etr
oughaswel
l
.
Someonenotyobwmessedwit
hatall.

★SI
ZA★

wewentt
obathandcl
eanedupaswell
.Hewast i
ckli
ngmeal lt
hewaythrought
hecl
eaning.
Wegotdr
essedandwentdownt
hestai
rsandev
eryonelookedatus.Onl
yBongil
e,Li
ndiand
Happywer
enoti
nsi
ght
.Il
ookeddown.

Me:
"goodmor
ning"

Them :
"Goodmor
ning"

Ndal
o:"Kamomadebr
eakf
ast
.It
'si
ntheki
tchen."

Si
yanda:
"Iwi
l
lgwti
t"

Hewal
kedof
fandi
stdown.Themenf
oll
owed.

Kamo:
"oneofushadagoodni
ghtsl
eep"

Me:
"I.
..
."

Ndal
o:"wear
enotj
udgement
al,
wear
ethel
astpeopl
etodoso"

Kamo:
"ver
ylast"

Me:
"Idon'
tknow"

Ndalo:"hei
sli
keabrothertome, Ihaveknownhimforover13y ears.Iam notsayi
ngyeah
l
ovehim orwhatbutdon'
tleadhim onplease,myhusbandishardcoreanddoesn'tl
oveeasi
ly
butSiy
anda,hedoesandv erymucht hat
'swhyhi
slastrel
ati
onshipfuckedhim up.Pl
ease
l
eavehim al
onebecauseIdon'twanttoseehimjust
.Ithurt
sme."

Me:
"Iwon'
t.Iwi
l
lobeyy
ou,
Iwi
l
lleav
ehi
m al
one"

Ndal
o:"Thanky
ou."

Il
ookedather
.

"
Heyl
adi
es"

Wet
urnedandi
twasAi
zahol
dingf
lower
sandchocol
ate.

Ai
za:
"Won'
tIgetahug?"

It
ingl
ysmi
l
edandst
oodupt
ogoandhughi
m.

Ai
za:
"imi
ssedy
ou"

Me:
"Met
oo"

Webr
oket
hehugandhewasgoi
ngf
ormyl
i
psbuyIki
ssedhi
scheek.

"
Idon'
tknowwhaty
oueatsoIbr
oughtt
his"

Theguy
scamebackwi
tht
hef
ood.
Nhl
anhl
a:"Ai
zaf
inal
l
yyoucome"

Ai
za:
"wor
kbutnowIam her
etoseet
hel
oveofmyl
i
fe"

Si
yandawasqui
etandi
swal
l
owed.

Hl
ubi
:"(cl
eart
hroat)Lov
eofy
ourl
i
fehuh?"

Kamo:
"Don'
tst
art
"

Ai
za:
"wi
thwhat?"

Theykeptqui
et.

Me:
"hav
eyoueat
en?"

Si
yanda:
"Il
ostmyappet
it
e"

Hewal
kedoutaf
terput
ti
ngt
hef
ooddown.

Ndal
o:"Iwi
l
lbeback"

Shwwal
kedof
f.Bongi
l
ecamedownt
hest
air
swi
thherbags.

Bongi
l
e:"ohbaby!
"

Imov
edaway
.

Ai
za:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"

Me:
"iwi
l
lgomakesomef
ood"

Bongi
l
e:"y
esgodot
hat"

Iwal
kedof
f.

★SI
YANDA★

Iwasgoi
ngt
odosomet
hingunt
hinkabl
ejustbyl
ooki
ngathi
m.Igott
othecarandopenedt
he
door
.

"
Siy
anda"

Me:
"Ineedt
oleav
eNdal
o"
Ndal
o:"Foramar
ri
edpussySi
yanda?Shewi
l
lhur
tyou,
shei
smar
ri
ed!"

Me:
"yeahj
ustl
i
keNhl
anhl
adi
dyour
s"

Ndal
o:"t
hisi
sdi
ff
erent,
somuchdi
ff
erent!"

Me:
"ungangi
casul
iNdal
obecausey
oudon'
tknowshi
tabouther!"

Ndal
o:"t
wosecondswi
thheri
nbedandy
ouknow"

Me:
"youar
esoi
nsensi
ti
ve"

Ndal
o:"wehaveall
lostki
ds.Ihav
elostmor
ewhat
sdi
ff
erent?Herhusbandshoul
dbe
comfor
ti
nghernotyou"

Me:
"nei
therdi
dNhl
anhl
abecomey
ourcomf
ort
er"

Ndal
o:"what
'swr
ongwi
thy
ou"

Me:
"Peopl
eli
kePhi
l
ani
andAi
zaf
uel
meup.That
'swhat
'swr
ongwi
thmeandnowy
ou!"

Ndal
o:"don'
tcompar
emet
othem "

"What
sgoi
ngon?"

Ndal
o:"t
alkt
ohi
m,l
eav
eheral
one"

Me:
"youar
enotmymot
herandy
ouwon'
ttel
lmewhatt
odo"

Nhl
anhl
a:"ev
ery
onej
ustcal
!Down"

Ndal
o:"Iam pr
otect
inghi
m"

Me:
"yousoundl
i
keanev
ilmot
heri
nlaw"

Shesl
appedme.

Nhl
anhl
a:"Ndal
o"

Ndal
o:"don'
tyoudar
eSi
yanda,
Iwi
l
lhi
tyou!
"

Nhl
anhl
a:"bot
hofy
oust
opi
t"

Me:
"tel
lyourwi
fewher
etof
uckof
finmyl
i
fe"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Si
yanda"

Shet
ri
edt
owi
ggl
eherwayoutofhi
sgr
ipbuthecar
ri
edher
.

Ndal
o:"l
etgoofme"
Igoti
nthecarandst
art
edi
tbef
oredr
ivi
ngof
f.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT25

★KAMOGELO★

Wewer eallseatedattheloungeandIwasscar ed.Ndal o'sHusbandisinti

midati
ngasmuchas
sheisaswel l
.May bewhattri
ggeredmyt ear
saswel l
isthatIam hey oungestoutofev
eryone
her
esot hatalsomakesmef eelsmallandint
imidated. Ther eissi
lenceandnoonei stal
king
toanyoneatalleit
herthanNdalo'sHusbandstandinginfrontofus.

Nhl
anhl
a:"bef
orewecar
ryonwit
htheinvesti
gati
onstof
indIngat
hiweneedt
osortoutwhat
s
goi
ngoninher
e.Ther
ehavebeenalotoffight
ssinceev
eryonegother
eandIam t
ir
edofit
."

Wekeptqui
et.

Nhl
anhl
a:"bef
oreIcar
ryon,
thanky
ouNt
andof
ory
ourl
evel
ofmat
uri
tysi
ncey
ouhav
ear
ri
ved
her
e"

Nt
andonods.

Bongi
l
e:"andus?"

Ndal
o:"don'
tyouev
endar
etal
ktomyhusband"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Ev
ery
onekeepqui
et.Iam st
il
ltal
ki
ng.Ai
za"

Het
urnedt
oAi
za.

Nhlanhla:
"youarever
yir
responsi
bleforahusband.Wear
eIngathi'
srel
ati
vesnotyourssoI
don'tknowwhereyougotthegutstonotcomeandseeyourwif
ef ora!monthknowingwher
e
sheis,wear
egoodasst r
angerssowhydidn'
tyoucheckuponher?Whati
fwewer
eser
iel
ki
ll
ersandki
l
ledherwi
thoutyourknowl
edge?"

Weal
lkeptqui
et.Hel
ookeddown.

Nhl
anhl
a:"Whati
sBongi
l
etoy
ou?"

Ai
za:
"not
hingwebr
okeup"

Bongi
l
e:"hai
bo!
"

Nhl
anhl
a:"getupandt
akey
ourst
uffy
ouar
eleav
ing"

Bongol
e:"Iam notgoi
ngany
wher
e!"

Nhl
anhl
atookoutagunandheshotthecushi
onbet
weenBongi
l
eandLi
ndi
weandweal
l
scr
eamed.Ial
mostpeedonmyself
.

Nhl
anhl
a:"Iam noty
ourf
ri
end"

Shenoddedshaki
ng.Hepul
l
edherupandpushedherassher
anof
f.

Nhl
anhl
a:"Li
ndi
weandKamo,y
outwowil
lhavet
obecivi
lwit
heachothereveni
ftheotherone
st
epsonyourpi
nki
etoey
ousmi
lel
i
keyouareonthel
astst
eroi
dforhappi
nessunderst
ood? "

Me:
"yessi
r"

Iwasst
il
lscar
edashest
il
lhadaguni
nhi
shand.Ndal
oshookherheadl
ooki
ngatAi
zaand
Si
za.

Nhl
anhl
a:"am Iast
atueLi
ndi
we?!
"

Hewaspi
ssedof
f.

Li
ndi
we:
"no"

Nhl
anhl
a:"whatdi
dIsay?"

Li
ndi
we:
"wewi
l
lbeci
vi
l"

Nhl
anhl
a:"good.Ndal
okeept
hem f
it"

Shenodded.

Nhl
anhl
a:"y
oumayl
eav
e"

Isprungupfi
rstandweall
lef
t, wewerescar
edoftheguni
nhi
shandmor
e..Iwentt
othe
ki
tchentogetsomemilkandsizawalkedi
nafterme.
Me:
"thatwasscar
y"

Si
za:
"al
ot"

Me:
"youdon'
tseem happyt
ohav
eyouhusbandher
e"

Si
za:
"Iam ,
it'
sjustIam wor
ri
edaboutSi
yanda,
ishesaf
ewher
ehei
syouknow"

Me:
"pr
obabl
yhei
s"

Si
za:
"letmenotwor
ryabouthi
m.Ndal
owasr
ight"

Me:
"don'
tl
ist
ent
oheri
fyouknowy
ouwon'
tpl
ayt
heguy
."

Si
za:
"iam mar
ri
ed"

Me:
"Ihearyou,butknowi
ttakesmor
ethant
hewor
dmar
ri
aget
obehappy
.Ify
ouar
eli
ki
ngon
t
heguygofori
t"

Si
za:
"andmyhusband.Ihav
ebeent
hroughwi
tht
hatman.Il
ovehi
m"

Me: "IunderstandandSi
yandali
kesyou,helov
esyouj
usttosay.Imeanwhenevert
heycome
hereheal way ssay
s"Wherei
sSiza?"Inhi
sdeepvoi
ceandhengol ooksf
oryouwhenhe
doesn'tseey ou.Hehasneversai
dwhereiskamoorNtandooranyofus."

Si
za:
"wehav
eBent
hroughenought
iget
herwi
thAi
za"

Me:"Iam j
ustsay
ing.Iknownnot
hingorhowyouf
eel
may
bei
twasj
ustsext
hatal
landIam
r
eadingt
oomuchy ouknowwhaty ouwant."

It
ookmymi
l
kandIwal
kedoutl
eav
ingher.

★ZAMI
LE★

Iwasweari
ngmyshoeswhil
eseatedatt
heedgeoft
hebedandhewal
kedi
nther
oom andput
thegl
assandt
oot
hbrushonthel
it
tlet
abl
e.

Andi
l
e:"geti
nbed.I
t'
scol
d"

Me:
"iDi
dn'
tpl
anonsl
eepi
ngov
er"
Hecr
ouchedI
nfr
ontofme.

Andi
l
e:"Zama"

Il
ookedathim.AndileandIhavebeendat
ingfortwoweeksandit
'sagooddi
str
act
ionf
rom al
l
oft
histhat
'shappeni
nginmylif
e,heisyoungerthanmethough.Just26y
ear
sold.

Andi
l
e:"geti
nbed"

Me:
"but.
..
"

Andi
l
e:"ak'
nabutl
ah(t
her
eisnobut)
"

Het
akesof
fmyshoesandIl
ookathi
m.

Andi
l
e:"Iam goi
ngoutt
ohust
le"

Me:
"isi
tweed?"

Heshookhi
shead.

Me:
"bet
ternotbesomet
hingi
l
legal
becauseIdon'
twantt
obear
rest
ed"

Andi
l
e:"soupt
ightmama"

Hefi
nishedupandkissedmyli
ps.I
fonl
yhisl
ooksdidn'
tcomeal
oneIwouldbeheadov
er
heel
sforhim buthei
syoungandi
snotl
ikeAi
zasothat'
sthemi
ssi
ngpoint
s.

Andi
l
e:"j
ustknowwewi
l
lendupi
napool
,atourhousei
nthesubur
bs"

Me:
"st
opsel
l
ingdr
eamsAndi
l
e"

Andi
l
e:"j
ustwai
tabi
t,wear
eal
mostt
her
e"

Me:
"fr
om t
hisoner
oom t
osomet
hingel
se?"

Iknowt
heseKasi
boy
sanddi
stantdr
eamsandpr
omi
ses.

Andi
l
e:"y
esSt
handwaSam "

Heki
ssedmyl
i
ps.

Me:
"ok"

Andi
l
e:"ok?"

Hesmi
rked.

Me:
",st
opt
hat
"
Andi
l
e:"what?Il
ookcut
e"

Ichuckl
ed.

Me:
"goandhust
le"

Hepi
ckedmeupandgotmei
nbet
weent
hebl
anket
sandt
henheki
ssedmyf
orehead.

Amdi
l
e:"Il
ovey
ou"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Me:
"met
oo"

Hewentt
otakehi
sjacketf
rom t
hechairandopenedt
hedoorbef
orewal
ki
ngoutwi
nki
ngandI
sl
ept
.Yeahi
tiscol
ddoIwi l
lj
ustlayi
nhere.

★SI
ZA★

Iwasinthebedroom j
ustsitt
ingaf
tert
alki
ngtoKamo, whatshesaidreal
lygott
omey etIdon't
wantmymar ri
agetofail
.That '
swhatmom hasal way
ssaidthatIshoul
dmakesureitdoesn't
fai
landNdalowasright,Ishouldl
etgoofSiyanda.Hewalksinandsitsopposi
temeandt akes
myhandsandki sst
hem.Ismi lef
aint
lyst
il
lworri
edaboutwherecouldSi
yandabe.

Ai
za:
"Imi
ssedy
ou"

Me:
"Imi
ssedy
out
oo"

Hesmi
l
es

Me:
"howi
smah?
"

Ai
za:
"shei
sok"

Me:
"andSne?Ihopeshei
str
eat
ingy
ouokwhi
l
eIam away
."

Heshi
ft
ed.

Ai
za:
"yeah,
shei
s"
Me:
"that
'sgood."

Heki
ssesmyhandsonceagai
nandl
eansi
nforust
oshar
eaki
ssbutwewer
edi
stur
bed.

"
Sor
ryt
odi
stur
b"

Wetur
nedandmyheartwasateaseseei
ngt
hathei
sok.Iwoul
dn'
thav
eli
vedwi
thmy
sel
fif
any
thi
nghappened.

Ai
za:
"youar
edi
stur
bing"

Me:
"Ai
za"

Hef
rowned.

Si
yanda:
"Kamoi
saski
ngf
ory
out
oassi
stherwi
tht
hecur
tai
nsdownst
air
s"

Ai
za:
"wear
ebusy
,ar
en'
tther
eanyot
herl
adi
eswhocanhel
pher?
"

Si
yanda:
"sheaskedf
orSi
za,
Iam j
ustamessangerbutIwi
l
linf
orm her
."

Me:
"Iam comi
ng"

Ai
za:
"Si
zakel
e"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lbebackok?"

Hekeptqui
et.

Ai
za:
"cl
oset
hedoorony
ourwayout
.

Iwal
kedoutandIcl
osedt
hedoor
.Si
yandahel
dmywai
standki
ssedmeandIbr
okei
t.

Me:
"hei
sher
e"

Hetakesmyhandandwewalkdownt hepassagetot
hest
air
sandgetdown.Wereachbythe
wal
lthathasapi
ctur
eandhechecksaroundbefor
ehemovesitandt
hewall
sli
desopen.

Si
yanda:
"geti
n"

Igoti
nandhegotinaswell
bef
oreitst
art
edbei
ngdarkandhetur
nedonthetorchonhisphone
andwewalkedfur
theri
n.West
artedseei
ngt
heli
ghtandwentdownthestai
rsandthenwe
cameint
oagy mroom.

Me:
"wher
eisKamo?Whyar
eweher
e?Whati
sthi
s?"

Heki
ssedme.

Si
yanda:
"Ihat
eseei
nghi
mtouchy
ou"
Me:
"thi
siswr
ongSi
yanda,
Ndal
owasr
ight.Idon'
twantt
ohur
tyou"

Hepl
aceshi
sfor
eheadonmi
ne.

Si
yanda:
"butIl
ovey
ou"

Me:
"wecan'
t"

Hekissedmyl i
pssoft
lyandsl
owl
ywhil
eholdingmywai st.Hishandsmov edtomybut tandI
hel
dont ohisjacket
.Hisscentwasni
ceont henoseaswel lmakingmemel tinhisarmsf orno
apparentreason.Hesqueezesmybuttsof
tl
yt oroughlypull
i
ngmecl osertohim asIfeelhi
s
shaftthr
oughmyr i
ght
sandImoaninhismout h,
hebr eaksthekissoffsl
owly.

Si
yanda:
"Damn"

Iopenedmyey
esandl
ookathi
m whi
l
est
il
lhol
dingont
ohi
m.Hesmi
rksandr
unshi
sfi
nger
son
mycheeks.

Si
yanda:
"youar
ebeaut
if
ul"

Me:
"thanky
ou,
wecan'
tdot
his"

Si
yanda:
"butIcan'
tl
ett
hisf
eel
i
nggo"

Hepl
acedhi
sheadonmyf
oreheadandsmi
rkedandIendedupgi
ggl
i
ngandhechuckl
ed.

Si
yanda:
"whyar
eyoul
aughi
ng?
"

Me:
"Idon'
tknow"

Si
yanda:
"justgi
vemeachance.I
twi
l
lbewor
thi
t"

Ikeptqui
etl
ooki
ngathi
m.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~
I
NSERT26

★SNE★

ThelooksIgotfrom al
lthepeopl
ewhowor katthest
orewhenIpresentedt
hecardtothem
whenIpaidforthestuf
fIbought.Aunt
yalwayssayst
hatgrabanoppor t
uni
tywit
hbothhands
andli
veinthemomentwi t
hit.Iguessthi
sisi
t.MyphoneringsandItakei
tfr
om betweenal
l
thescatt
eredcl
othesandIanswered.

Me:
"hel
l
o"

Aunty:
"Igott
hemoney,
siy
abongaNt
ombi
Qhubekasensekahl
e(t
hanky
ou,
keepondoi
ng
thegoodwork)"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Aunt
y:"obof
ikanawe(y
oushoul
dcomev
isi
t)"

Me:
"Iwi
l
l"

Shehungup.

"Iseey
oudi
dsomeshoppi
ng"

It
urnedar
ound.

Me:
"Uhm .
..
"

Hewalkedinandpickedupt
hedressf
rom t
hepi
l
eandl
ookedati
tthenpi
ckedupanot
herone
andLookedatitt
henme.Iswall
owed

Ai
za:
"Youhav
etast
e"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Ai
za:
"howabouty
ouweart
hisf
ormeandwehav
edi
nnert
oget
her"

Me:
"inpubl
i
c?"

Ai
za:
"Yes.Wewi
l
lgoout"

Me:
"ist
hatagoodi
dea?
"
Hehel
dmywai
st.

Ai
za:
"ber
eadyi
nanhour"

Inodded.

Heki
ssedmyl
i
psandspankedmyass.

Ai
za:
"Iwi
l
lbewai
ti
ng"

Hewal
kedout
.Ibr
eat
hedoutandt
ookt
hecl
othesgoi
ngt
othebat
hroom .

★ZAMI
LE★

Iwasdist
urbedbymyphoner i
ngi
ngwhil
eIwasmakingsomepapandgr avybef
oreIleav
e.
Andi
lehasn'
tcamebackandIam supposedtol
eave.Isai
dyest
erdayIwil
lbebackhomesoon
butt
his.Thisi
squest
ionabl
e.Itakemyphoneandit
'sMom andItakei
t.

Me:
"mahIam comi
ng"

Mom :
"notundermyroofZami
l
e,i
fyouwantt
orul
egot
oyourhouse.Youragemat
esar
ein
t
hei
rhomesmar ri
ed"

Me:
"pl
easedon'
tst
artwear
enotal
lthesame"

Shecl
i
ckedhert
ongue.

Mom :"t
akeSizaandshei
syoungert
hany
ou,
mar
ri
edandi
nherownhousehay
imankhul
a
!(Gr
owup! )
"

ShehungupandIsi
ghed.ThedooropenedandAndi
l
ewal
kedi
n.

Andi
l
e:"Munt
wam (myper
son)
"

Ii
gnor
edhi
m andt
urnedt
het
wopl
atedownandhehel
dmef
rom behi
nd.

Andi
l
e:"sengenzeni
manj
e(whatdi
dIdonow?
)"

Me:
"Ineedt
oleav
e"

Andi
l
e:"Iam sor
ry"
Me:
"Andi
l
eIneedt
oleav
e"

Andi
l
e:"Bukak'
qal
angi
kuphat
hel
eni
(lookwhatIgotf
ory
ou)
"

Hegav
emeasl
abofchocol
ateandaP.
Swr
it
tenIl
ovey
ou.Il
ookedati
t.

Andi
l
e:"amast
art
erbabykuy
ezaomuny
e(t
hesear
ejustst
art
ers,
mor
eiscomi
ng)
"

Whyar
emycheeksheat
ingup?

Me:
"youdi
dn'
thav
eto"

Andi
l
e:"Kumel
engi
mbot
ozeumunt
uwam engi
mthanday
o(Ihav
etospoi
ltheper
sonIl
ove)
"

Me:
"Thanky
ou,
Iwi
l
leati
tatwor
ktomor
row"

Andi
l
e:"ot
hingi
kukhapheke(l
etmewal
kyouhome)
"

Me:
"Noy
ouhav
ebeenoutal
lday
.It
'scol
dst
ayi
nher
e"

Andi
l
e:"wear
egoi
ngZama"

Inoddedandwentt
ot hebi
gpl
asti
candsear
chedf
orsomet
hingandt
ookoutami
nibl
anket
andhethenputi
tovermyshoul
ders.

Andi
l
e:"wedon'
twanty
ousi
ck"

Me:
"thanky
ou,
itseemsnew"

Andi
l
e:"Kakuy
elesgr
izaSam (i
twasgr
andmot
her
's)
"

Me:
"shekeptherst
uffwel
l"

Andi
l
e:"ar
en'
tyoueat
ing?"

Me:
"noIat
e.Iam f
ine"

Henodded.Het
ookoutast
ackofst
apl
edpaper
sandhegav
eitt
ome.

Me:
"whati
sthi
s?"

Andi
l
e:"i
t'
saManuscr
ipt"

Me:
"Expl
ainbaby"

Hesmi
l
ed.

Andi
l
e:"Iwi
l
laf
tery
our
eadt
hat"

Me:
"okIwi
l
l"
Andi
l
e:"l
et'
sgo"

Wewal kedoutandhetookt
hepadl
ockandlockedt hedoorandhethenputhishandovermy
shoul
deraswemadeourwayt omyhome.Andi l
eishumbl eandsweet,Idon'
tknowbuthis
si
mplegesturesmakesonewantt
olovehi
m effor
tlessl
y.Hekissedmyforehead.Iti
sreal
l
y
col
douthere.

★SI
YANDA★

Iam gladthathel
eft.Icoul
dn'
tstandhim nextt
oher,
nextt
imeIwouldn'
tbeablet
ocontai
n
myself.Istoodbythedoorfr
ameandwat chedherwashherhai
r,weavesgone.Al
lnat
ural
now, Ibi
temybot t
om li
pbeforeIspoke.

Me:
"don'
tyouwantmet
ojoi
nyou"

Shet
urnedandi
coul
dst
il
lcl
ear
lyseehert
hrought
hegl
ass.It
ookof
fmyt
opandshel
ookedat
me.

Si
za:
"whatar
eyougoi
ng?
"

Iundr
essedandopenedt
heshowerdoorandgoti
nandshel
ookedatme.Ir
emov
edt
hehai
r
fr
om hereyes.

Me:
"Iam shower
ingwi
thy
ou"

It
ookt
hebodywash.

Me:
"Ihopehedi
dn'
ttouchmycooki
e"

Sheshookherheadl
ooki
ngatme.

Si
za:
"hedi
dn'
t"

Me:
"good"

Iki
ssedherandsmudgedt
hesoaponherbodyandsher
etur
nedi
t.

Me:
"Iam gi
vi
ngy
out
imet
othi
nkwhi
l
eIam away"

Si
za:
"away?"
Me:
"yeahwear
eleav
ingandwon'
tcomebackt
il
lwegetI
ngat
hi.
"

Si
za:
"oh"

Icar
essedherbody
.

Me:
"uzongi
khumbul
a?(Wi
l
lyoumi
ssme?)
"

Shenoddedsl
owl
y.

Si
za:
"kakhul
u(somuch)"

Iper
kedherf
orehead.

Me: "ngiy
akut
handa.Mangibuyauhambanamiuy
aeThekwi
nisi
shadesibengenganeezi
wu40
(Il
ovey ou,whenIcomebackyouwill
leav
ewit
hmeandgotoDurbanthenwegetmar ri
edand
have40ki ds)
"

Si
za:
"that
'
stoomuch.2"

Shemadeaf
ingersuggest
ion.Ichuckl
ed.

Me:
"Iam t
heonl
ychi
l
dsoIneedal
otofki
ds"

Si
za:
"wewi
l
lsee"

Me:
"yeahwewi
l
lsee"

Sher
anherf
inger
sov
ermywetski
n.

Si
za:
"besaf
e"

Me:
"Iwi
l
l,don'
twor
ry .I
fInev
erev
ersayt
hatIl
ovey
ou,
justr
emembergi
rlI
'
m say
ingIdo.
"

Shesmi
l
ed.

Si
za:
"youal
way
sinmyhear
t"

Me:
"ni
ceendi
ng.Don'
twor
ry"

ShenoddedandIkissedherandpi
ckedherupandsheputherar
msar
oundmyneckast
he
showerwaterwashit
tingmyback.

★AI
ZA★
Iwatchedherwal
kdownt
hest
air
ssl
owl
ylooki
ng,
shel
ooksbeaut
if
ulandev
ery
thi
ngi
sset
ti
ng
herwell
.

Sne:
"If
eel
unset
tl
ed"

Me:
"don'
tbe,
youl
ookwonder
ful
.Tur
nar
ound"

Shespunar
oundandherhi
psandar
sewer
eoutt
opl
ay.

Me:
"Iam t
heonl
yoneal
l
owedt
otouch"

ShenoddedandIki
ssedherf
orehead

Me:
"let
'sgo"

It
ookherhandandt
ookof
fmyr
ingandouti
tinmypocket
saswewal
kedout
.

★KAMOGELO★

Ithi
nkIam suf f
eringfrom depr
ession.If
eeldepr essed,eversi
nceIngathigotshotIhaven'
tbeen
feel
inggood.Iam usedt ohim call
ingandorderingmear oundandnowi tfeel
sli
kemyl if
eis
empt y
.Iam wat chingasadmov iethatwil
lgowel lwit
hmyemot ionsgoodt hi
ngtheyhav e
DVD'sorIwoul dhav ebeenboredoutofmymi nd.Ev eryonesuddenlywalksdownt hestair
s.
Coupleswalkingdown, whyam Isadbecausei ngat hiandIhavenev erhadar el
ati
onbesides
exchsgingsexual i
nter
coursesoi don'
tunderst
andmy self
.

Ndal
o:"makei
tfastandqui
ck"

Nt
ando:
"yesIwantmyki
dsback"

Hl
ubi
:"wewi
l
ldoourbest"

Si
za:
"goodl
uck"

Ev
enSi
zaf
oundaman,
menot
hing.Notev
enat
wo-
weekr
elat
ionshi
p.Ev
en5day
sisbi
g.

Nhl
anhl
a:"wehav
etol
eav
e"

Me:
"whenwi
l
lIseet
heDr?
"

Ndal
o:"f
or?"
Me:
"iam pr
egnant"

Ir
oll
edmyey
esi
nmymi
nd.

Nhl
anhl
a:"y
ouwi
l
lhav
eone.Bynextweek"

Me:
"okt
hanky
ou"

Ist
oodupandwentt
otheki
tchen

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT27

★SNE★

It
ookasi
pof ft
hewineandhel
ookedatme.If
eltcomf
ort
abl
eandr
elaxedaswel
lbutIwasn'
t
whenwef
irstcamehere.

Ai
za:
"youar
eenj
oyi
ng?"

Me:
"yesIam."

Henoddedwhi
l
esmi
l
ing.

Ai
za:
"Tel
lmeabouty
our
sel
f"

Me:
"whatdoy
ouneedt
oknow?"

Ai
za:
"whydon'
tyouhav
eaboy
fri
end?"

Ibi
tmybot
tom l
i
p.

Me:
"Wehadaf
all
outandseper
ated."
Ai
za:
"fal
lout?"

Me:
"Hedi
dn'
thav
east
abl
eli
feandkeptonsel
l
ingdr
eamst
il
lIcal
l
edi
tqui
tsay
earago"

Ai
za:
"Idon'
tsel
ldr
eamsy
ouknowt
hat?"

Me:
"meani
ng?"

Ai
za:
"Ij
ustdon'
t"

Inodded.

Ai
za:
"Youar
eadmi
rabl
e."

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

It
ookasi
pof
fthewi
nel
ooki
ngathi
m,Hei
sthemanIhav
ebeenpr
ayi
ngf
orsi
ncemyl
ast
br
eakup.

★SI
ZA★

"
Let
sgo"

Al
readyHl
ubi
hasl
eftear
li
erandI
t'
sNhl
anhl
aandSi
yandawhoar
elef
t.

Si
yanda:
"yougonnabeok?"

Il
ookedatNdal
o.

Si
yanda:
"Don'
twor
ryandmi
ndher,
it'
susy
oushoul
dputy
ourf
ocuson"

Inoddedandheki
ssedmyf
orehead.

Me:
"Iwi
l
lthi
nkaboutev
ery
thi
ngt
il
lthen"

Si
yanda:
"dot
hatSugar"

Nhl
anhl
a:"hai
boki
ssherandst
oppl
ayi
ngar
oundsowecango!"

Welaughedandhehel
dmywai
standweshar
edasof
t,shor
tyetsweetki
ss.Iam goi
ngt
o
ki
sshim.

Si
yanda:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Inodded.

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Hesmil
edandweletgoofeachot
herandhewalkedof
f.Ndalofi
nishedupwi
thherhusband
andt
heywerei
nthecarsoonandi
tstar
tedandwewalkedbacki
nsi
de.

Ndal
o:"Iam war
ning"

Me:
"Sur
e"

Iwalkof
fandgoupthestai
rs.Sheneedst
okeepherey
esonherowni
ssuesnotmi
ne.Ij
ump
onthebedassoonasIgeti
nthebedroom.

★LI
NDI★

ImissIngathi,sov erymuch.Thepai nsti

ll
feelsfr
eshthathei sdeadandi can'thel
pand
blamet hatKamo, sheistheonewhoki ll
edmyhusband.Canhebef oundsowecanbur yhi
m
i
npeace.Ij ustwi sh,wishf orhimt oholdme, car
essesandki ssme.Whenwef ir
stmetIhave
neverlovedamanl ikehim.Hewassi l
entnotmuchonspeaki ngbutwhenhedi d, hi
svoiceand
thewayhel aiddownhi sst atementmadehi m attr
acti
veanddr ewmet ohi m.Hi sdominance
thatcomesoutt oplayandhi ssoftside.Ohwhenhesmi led,Thatsmile.Iwoul dgiveanyt
hing
tohavehi m back.Tohav ehi m nexttome.It ur
nandhol dthepill
owandt earsrandownmy
cheeksandIpl ayedwi t
hmyr ing.Ourweddi ngday, t
hatmani sloveandIlostlovebecauseof
someone.

★ZAMI
LE★

Mom :
"att
hist
ime?
!"

Me:
"Sani
bonani
(hel
l
o)"

Mom :
"Iwi
l
lsl
apy
ouasol
dasy
ouar
e"

Dad:
"Goandbat
hsoy
oucaneat"
Me:
"Ihav
eal
readybat
hed"

Mom :
"Iam notl
ooki
ngaf
teranychi
l
d"

Shewal
kedof
fandIl
ookedatdad.

Dad:
"justgety
ourl
i
fei
nper
fector
der"

Me:
"Iam t
ryi
ng"

Dad:
"andIam pr
oud"

Me:
"thanky
ou.Iam of
ftosl
eep"

Dad:
"goodni
ght"

Inoddedandwenttomyroom.Icl
osedthedoorandt
ookof
fthebl
anketandgotont
hebed.
Myphoner angandIt
ooki
tandanswer
ed.

Me:
"Andi
l
e"

Andi
l
e:"uf
ikekahl
e?(Di
dyouar
ri
vewel
l?)
"

Me:
"youj
ustdr
oppedmeof
f"

Andi
l
e:"Imi
ssy
ou"

Me:
"wewi
l
lseeeachot
her
.Thanksf
ort
hechocol
ates."

Andil
e:"
noneedt othankme, j
ust..
..
.i
fyouknowy ouwill
giveupalongthewayjustt
ellmeto
saveeachother'
sti
mes.Il oveyouZami l
e, somuchIknowwomendr eam ofr
ichguysand
ri
chli
febutmysi t
uationistemporarythatIpromiseyou, Iworkf
oritev
erydayt
omakea
changeoutofsomet hingandhaveat l
eastabetterli
fe,bathi
nginashowerfort
hef i
rstt
imeyou
know .Il
ovey ouandIam initforthelongone"

Iwasqui
et,Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
osay.Iwasspeechl
essmainlybecauset
hisguyi
sav
erygood
guyandheadi
nghi
m sayt
hisj
ustmademefeel
guil
ty.Iswal
lowed.

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
ooAndi
l
e.Don'
twoeey,
Iam notgoi
ngany
wher
e"

Andi
l
e:"Thanky
ou"

Me:
"Ihav
etogo.Goodni
ght"

Andi
l
e:"sl
eepwel
l
"

Inoddedandhehungup.Ilai
donthebedandl
ookedatt
heroof,
Ipl
acedmyhandonhi
s
stapl
edpaper
sanditooki
tandgoti
nbedandst
artedr
eadi
ng.
"
Chai
ns"

Thatwaswhatwaswr
it
tenont
hepaperandIst
art
edr
eadi
ng.

Me:
"Thi
sisal
ot"

Il
aidback.

★ANDI
LE★

Me:
"R5ai
rt
ime"

Theshopsell
ernoddedandgott
heai
rt
imeandIgav
ehi
mthemoneyandt
urnedandst
art
ed
wal
kingbacktomypl ace.

"
Eyi
Nkunz
i!"

Me:
"longt
imenosee,
youar
erol
l
ingnow"

Hechuckl
edandgotoutofhi
sRedpol
o,Iwhi
stl
ed.

Me:
"shont
wana"

Phel
o:"It
houghtIshoul
dcomebackandcheckony
ou"

Me:
"Iam good"

Phel
o:"st
il
l?"

Me:
"st
il
lbutIam pushi
ngsomet
hing"

Phel
o:"f
orgeti
t,y
oushoul
dhust
lel
i
kedr
ugsmakemoney
"

Me:"aksint
ozamif
uthi
noMem ngekeat
hokozengal
okho(t
hat
'snotf
ormeandmywoman
woul
dn'tbehappy)
"

Phel
o:"Sne?Youar
ebackwi
thher?"

Me:"Cha,ungi
khawat
hil
elowo.Ngi
thol
eomuny
emanj
e(no,
shehur
tme.Ihav
efound
anot
herone)"

Phel
o:"(whi
stl
e)It
houghty
ousai
dyouwon'
tdat
eany
mor
e"

Me:
"thi
ngschange"
Phel
o:"st
opl
ovi
ngwi
thal
lyourhear
t"

Me:
"Ican'
tbutIam cer
tai
naboutt
hisone."

Heshookhi
sheadandIchuckl
ed.West
oodt
her
ecat
chi
ngup.

★KAMOGELO★

WewerewokenupbyNdal
overyear
lyonl
yforhert
oboxus, t
hatwoman'
stinyfi
stcansur
e
l
eaveamanl
ymark.Myjawli
neisbrui
sedandicoul
dn'
ttakei
tandsoastheotherssowe
st
opped.

Me:
"ar
eyoumadeofi
ron?
"

Ndal
o:"y
ouwi
l
llear
n"

Si
za:
"let
'sst
oppl
ease"

Li
ndi
:"Isecondt
hat"

If
eel
thev
omi
tmaki
ngi
tswayupandIr
ant
othebi
nandi
vomi
ted.

Si
za:
"ar
eyouok?"

Me:
"yes"

Shenodded.

Me:
"Iwi
l
lli
edownr
eal
qui
ck"

Irushedoutandwenttot
hebathr
oom t
ori
nsemymouth.It
ouchedmyst
omachwhenIwas
doneanditwasgrowingqui
etwel
l.I
twashar
deni
ngt
oo.

Tobecont
inued
~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT28

Me:
"Ndal
owi
l
lki
l
luswaybef
oreany
onedoes"

Li
ndi
:"Iagr
eet
othat"

Icansenset
hewei
rdv
ibe.

Me:
"letmegocheckonKamo"

Itookthebott
ledwat
erandIwal
kedupt
hest
air
s.Someonehel
dmyar
m andi
loomedback
anditsNdalo.

Ndal
o:"Iam notbei
ngbi
tt
erorany
thi
ngbuty
ouar
emar
ri
ed."

Me:"Iknow.Idi
dn'tki
ssmy
sel
fanddi
dn'
tmaket
hemov
e.It
oldSi
yandat
ost
ayawayf
rom me
buthedoesn'
twantto"

Ndal
o:"besi
desal
loft
hatIam pr
otect
ingy
ou"

Me:
"fr
om what?"

Ndal
o:"i
tsnotal
lroses."

Sheletgoofmyarm andwal
kedoff.Il
ookedatherdi
sappearbef
oreImademywayupt
he
st
air
sandi wentt
oKamo'sroom andIknockedont
hedoor.

Me:
"Kamogel
oar
eyouok?"

Sheopenst
hedoorandshesni
ff
s.

Me:
"ar
eyouok?"

Shel
andsi
nmyar
msandcr
y.

Kamo:
"whatwi
l
lIsayt
othi
schi
l
d.Wher
eishi
s/herf
ather?Iam scar
ed."

Ipat
tedherback.

Me:
"wor
rynot
.Wewi
l
lfi
gur
eitout
.Al
lofus"

Kamo:
"Iam scar
edofLi
ndi
"
Me:
"wewi
l
lsor
tev
ery
thi
ngout
.Cal
m down"

Shesni
ffandnods.

Me:
"doy
ouwantt
ocuddl
e?"

Shenods.

Me:
"okcome"

It
akeherhandandwewalkincl
osi
ngthedpprandIgoti
nbedwi
thherandwecuddl
ed.She
wassni
ffi
ngwhil
ehol
dingontome.Ingat
hil
eftamess.

★ZAMI
LE★

Fl
orence:
"Howi
sitgoi
ngwi
tht
heki
ddo?"

Ipackawayt
hest
rawsandpl
ast
icspoonsf
ori
cecr
eam wher
etheybel
ongandy
urnt
iher
.

Me:
"hei
sok."

Fl
orence:
"justok?"

Me:
"idi
dsomet
hingbadandnowIf
eel
abi
tgui
l
ty"

Fl
orence:
"what?"

Wewal
kedoutf
rom t
hebackandwentt
othebat
hroom.

Me:
"Ibewi
tchedmysi
ster
'shusbandt
olov
eme"

Fl
orence:
"Zama!"

Me:
"Iwasj
eal
ous"

Fl
orence:
"thatdoesn'
tmeanany
thi
ng,
didi
twor
k?"

Me:
"no,
ifi
tDi
diwoul
dn'
tbeher
e"

Igoandst
andbyt
hemi
rr
or.

Fl
orence:
"Iam shockedanddi
sappoi
nted."

Me:
"iam sor
ry"
Fl
orence:
"youshoul
dtal
ktoheraboutt
hat"

Me:
"wedon'
tseeey
etoey
e"

Fl
orence:
"youneedt
oapol
ogi
se"

Ii
gnor
edher
.

Fl
orence:
"Iseey
ouar
eav
oidi
ngme,
sot
heBen10"

Il
aughedandsher
aisedherbr
ow.

Me:
"hei
ssweetbutIwant
edust
ohav
efunt
houghhei
sser
ious"

Fl
orence:
"What
'swr
ongwi
thhi
m ?"

Me:
"ifmay
behehadabet
tersy
stem Iwoul
dn'
tmi
ndbut.
..
."

Fl
orence:
"isn'
tther
eany
thi
ngt
hathedoes?"

Me:
"hedoesbutIdon'
tknow"

Fl
orence:
"gi
vehi
m achance.Hemi
ghtamazey
ou"

Shewalkedi
ntothet
oil
etandclosedthedoor.Il
ookedatmy sel
fthr
oughthemirrorandsighed.
Myeyeshaddarkeyepatchesf
rom lackofsl
eeplastnight,
Iwasupreadi
ngthatscriptandI
coul
dn'
tgetmyhandsoffit.Iwashedmyhandsandt ookoutmyphoneandtextedhimt el
li
ng
Andi
let
hatIam comingthi
saft
ernoon.Fl
orencecameoutandshewentt owashherhands.

★NDALO★

Me:
"youwantt
olayonme?"

HenoddedandIt ookoutthebottl
eandlaidhi
m onmychest.Hisl
itt
lebrotherhasst
opped
dri
nki
ngmilkbuthecan'tseem tostopaswellanditwor
ri
esmeali
ttl
ebit.Iwipehisli
tt
lef
ace
andkisshi
sforehead.Ilovemykidswithever
ythi
nginmesoasmyhusbandaswel l.They
gi
vemenewl if
eEv eryt
imeIlookatthem andt
hinkhowluckyi
am t
ohav ethem inmylif
e,gogo
wouldbehappywher eeversheis

Me:
"shhh"
Icr
adl
ehi
minmyar
ms.I
bawi
l
lal
way
shav
easpoti
nmyhear
taswel
l
.

★AI
ZA★

Iwal
kinsi
dethekit
chenandoutmylapt
opbagdownont hecount
erandIsitont
hehi
ghchai
r
andshehandsoverthebr
eakf
astt
ome.I tl
ooksappet
izi
ngaswellbyt
helooks.Makesone
wanttodi
ginjusti
ntime.

Me:
"mmmh"

Sne:
"Ihopei
t'
sok"

Me:
"Il
ovei
t.Justl
i
ket
hatshi
rty
ouar
ewear
ing"

Shebl
ushed.

"
Aizaar
eyoust
il
lher
e..
."

Thabani
wal
ksi
nandhest
opshi
str
acks.Ist
andonmyf
eet
.

Me:
"don'
tyouknock?Orcal
l?"

Hwl
ookedatSneupanddown.

Thabani
:"Youdon'
tl
ovey
our
sel
fsi
si"

Me:
"don'
tst
artt
alki
ngr
ubbi
sh"

Thabani
:"IwonderhowSi
zawi
l
lfeel
knowi
ngwhaty
ouar
edoi
ngbehi
ndherback.Idon'
tev
en
knowwhyshest ay
s"

Ihel
dhi
scol
l
ar.

Me:
"thi
sisnonofy
ourbusi
ness,
stayoutofi
t"

Thabani
:"Iwi
l
l,j
ustst
ayoutofSi
za'
sonceshewal
ksoutofy
ourl
i
fef
orgood"

Il
etgoofhi
m andhecl
i
ckedhi
stongueandwal
kedout
.Il
ookedatsne.

Me:
"Iwi
l
lbeatwor
k"

ShenoddedandIt
ookmyl
apt
opbagandIwal
kedoutoft
hehouse.

.
.

★UNKOWN★

Dr:
"wear
eseei
ngasi
ghofmov
ement
."

Nt
sika:
"that
sgood"

Thedrswi
tchedof
fhi
sli
tt
let
orch.

Me:
"isn'
the.
..
..
..
?"

Dr:
"wai
t"

Wekeptoursi
l
enceandwat
chedhi
mforawhi
l
eandhest
art
edbl
i
nki
nghi
sey
es.

Nt
sika:
"hei
swaki
ngup"

Welookedathim unt
ilhef
ull
yopenedhi
sey
esandscannedar
oundandcl
osedt
hem and
openedthem agai
n.

Me:
"I
ngat
hi,
it'
sgoodt
haty
oupul
l
edt
hrough."

Isi
gnal
edf
ornt
sikat
ogi
vehi
m wat
erandhedi
d.

I
ngat
hi:
"Wh.
..
what
..
..
."

Me:"Saveyourbr
eat
h.Wear
etheS.
A.BFor
ceandnot
heSAi
snotf
orSout
hAf
ri
capl
easedon'
t
gett
hatwrong"

I
ngat
hi:
"whatdoy
ou.
..want"

Hegr
oaned.

Me:
"ishegood?"

Dr:
"good"

Me:
"youmi
ghtl
eadust
otheCol
umbi
answi
thy
ourt
eam."

I
ngat
hi:
"idon'
thav
eat
eam "

Me:"Br
uise,
Nhl
anhl
aRhadebe,
weknowev
ery
thi
ngi
ncl
udi
ngt
hei
l
legal
drugst
ranspor
tat
ion
andal
sowomen."

Hi
swy
wspopped.

Me:
"youhav
eawi
feandapr
egnantsi
dechi
ck"
Nt
sikahandst
hepaper
stome."

Me:
"youdon'
twantt
hem hur
tint
hehandsofdanger
ousCol
umbi
ansr
ight?"

Hekeptqui
etwhi
l
ebl
i
nki
nghi
sey
essl
owl
y.

Me:
"rest
.Thi
nkaboutwhatIsai
dandr
ememberi
t'
stheGener
albutcal
lmeNkonzoMkhi
ze"

Henoddedhi
sheadsl
owl
ybef
orehi
sey
esshut
.

Dr:
"theI
V,hei
sjustsl
eepi
ng"

Me:
"good,
makesur
ehei
supandf
it"

Dr:
"yesgener
al"

Inoddedbef
orewal
ki
ngout
.

★SI
ZA★

i
thasn'tbeenlongbutImi ssSiyanda,notAiza.Idon'
tknowmay bethefactt
hatIhavenever
beenwithanyot hermanwel lexceptQhawewhowedi dn'teven.Lastforl
ongjustgaveme
goosebumpsandexci ted.Iam scaredthough.Ifeell
i
kei am betray
ingthevowswemade
thoughitwasjustrepeati
ngaf t
erthepast
orbutIshouldn'
tbedoi ngAizali
kethatatal
l.I
sighed,Idon'
tknowatt hispoint.CanIhavethem bot
h?

Kamo:
"ohy
ouar
eawake"

Shesai
dst
ret
chi
ngher
sel
foutofsl
eep.

Me:
"youj
ustl
ovet
osl
eep"

Kamo:
"it
'st
hisbaby"

Me:
"Iknowi
t'
snotshowi
ngbutcanIt
ouch?"

Kamo:
"ohsur
e"

It
ouchedherst
omachandr
anmyf
inger
soni
t.If
eltgoosebumps.

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Shesmi
l
ed.
Kamo:
"Iam nowhungr
y."

Me:
"let
sgof
eedy
ouandt
hel
i
ttl
eone.

Wegotof
fthebedandwal
kedout
.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT29

★SI
YANDA★

Nhl
anhl
a:"It
ri
edev
eryconnect
ionIhav
eandt
heyar
esear
chi
ngaswel
l
."

Me:
"If
eel
usel
ess"

Hepour
sther
emai
ningwhi
skyi
ntohi
smout
h.

Nhl
anhl
a:"y
ouseemedusef
ult
heseday
s"

Me:
"oht
hat"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Iam j
ustsay
ing"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lbei
nDur
bani
nthemeant
ime."

Nhl
anhl
a:"
sur
e"
Ist
oodupf
rom mychai
randwal
kedof
f

★MAZUMA★

Me:
"thi
sisy
ourchi
l
dLor
d.Li
ghtt
hewayi
ntot
hatl
i
feandheal
thatsoul
...
."

Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
osay
.

Me:
"Amen"

Iopenmyey esandsi gh.Ihavebeenhav i

ngdr eams,dreamsofZami leget
tingmar r
iedand
usuall
ythosearebadmeani ngHerfathermi ghtdiebutthatdoesn'tshowclearlyadIdon' tj
ust
wanttomakeuncl earassumpt i
onsatal l
.Ibl ewthecandl eoutandf i
xedmyShoal beforeI
packedandputev ery
thingawaypr operl
y .Istandupaf terthatandIwalkout .Igoandt akemy
phoneandt r
ycallSi
zaj usttocheckonhowshei sbutnot hing.Igetnothi
ngatall.Itryher
againandmay beshei sverybusyinhermar r i
agelif
e,shewi l
lgetbacktowhenshecan.Isi gh
andwentt ogomakesomet eainthekitchen.

★SI
ZA★

KamoandIwentt
omakesomef oodandalsoincl
udeevery
oneandshedidn'
thaveenoughsoI
madesomemoreforher
.It
'sni
cetowatchhergothroughpregnancyl
i
kethi
sanditmakesher
l
ookgood.

Kamo:
"Iam f
ull
"

Shegul
pssomemi
l
k.

Me:
"letmegowasht
hedi
shes."

Kamo:
"Iwi
l
lassi
st"

Shegotof
fthehi
ghchai
randmadeherwayt
omeandwewashedt
hedi
shest
oget
her
.

Af
ewweekspassedandwehav
est
oppedwi
thNdal
oandherhi
tt
ingus,
it'
senoughnow.I
missSiyandaj
ustwal
ki
nginoutoftheblueandjustcomeandsitt
oget
hermor eespeci
all
yhim
touchi
ngme.Iwasmaki ngmywayt otheloungeareaandAizawassi
tt
ingtherewit
h
Kamogelowhohadanannoyedlook.Iwasn'thappytooseehim,wel
lIj
ustdidn'
texpecthi
m.

Ai
za:
"youl
ookbeaut
if
ul"

Me:
"st
ayi
ngi
ndoor
s"

Ai
za:
"Canwemov
efr
om her
e?"

Kamo:
"remembernosexaswehav
etakent
hatt
hing"

Ai
za:
"whatt
hingdi
dyout
akewi
thoutmyconsent"

Me:
"it
'sf
ort
hei
mmuneandhassi
deef
fect
s"

Ai
za:
"Nx"

Iswal
l
owed.Li
es,
all
li
esandt
hanky
ouKamoorment
ioni
ngt
hat
.

Ai
za:
"come"

Wewal
kedupt
hest
air
stoget
her
.

★ZAMI
LE★

Iknockedoffongoodt imet odayandIboughtsomemeal sf r

om workandwentt ocatchataxi
.
Onmywayt hereIkeptonr eflect
ingever
ythi
ng.Aiza, Ireall
ylovedhim andheistheonlymanI
havelovedsomuchbutIgett hewordscomi ngint
omymi ndthelastti
meIsawSi za,
Iwonder
whatgoesoni nthi
smarriage.Thel adybehindmeasksmet opasst hechangeandIdosoand
remainstati
onarythewhol ewayhome.Igetof fatthecor nerandmademywayt ohisplace.I
shouldletAndil
ego, heisy oungandwi l
lgetsomeonewhowi ll
lovehimthewayhel ovesand
wantstobel oved.Igettohi splaceandIknockont hedoorandhecomesandopens.Asmi le
creptuponhi sfaceandmi necamewi t
houtanywar ning.

Andi
l
e:"ugr
and?
(Youar
egood?
)"

Inoddedandheperksmyli
psbefor
ewewal ki
nsideandIpl
acemybagont hebedandsoas
thetakeaway
.It
'sv
eryneatandt
idytoday,
guesshehadtimetogett
hingsdone.
Andi
l
e:"howwasy
ourdayatwor
k?"

Me:
"itwasok,
thanky
ou,
your
s?"

Andi
l
e:"i
twasgood.Besi
desnotbei
ngabl
etogot
othei
nter
netcaf
e"

Me:
"whydi
dyouwantt
ogo?
"

Andi
l
e:"t
ocheckmyemai
l
s"

Me:
"whydi
dn'
tyougot
hen?
"

Andi
l
e:"t
axi
far
emoney"

Me:
"ohIsee"

Hepul
l
edmet
ohi
slapandIt
ookoutmyphoneandgav
eitt
ohi
m.

Me:
"Ihav
edat
ayoucanent
ery
ouremai
laccountandcheckwhat
everi
tiswhi
l
eIpr
epar
ea
meal
."

Andi
l
e:"i
don'
twantt
owast
eyourai
rt
imebaby
."

Me:
"nodon'
twor
ry."

Heki
ssedmyl
i
ps.

Andi
l
e:"
ok"

Het ooki
tandIgotoffhi
m andIwenttot
akeouttheburger
sandf
ri
esandalsothecol
ddrink.
Itookoutaplast
icbowelandputi
nthefr
iesbef
oreIhandedhi
mthefoodandsatonthebed
andIstar
tedeati
ng.

Me:
"Youst
il
lhav
esomePer
iPer
i?"

Andi
l
e:"j
ustabi
t"

Inodded, Ist
oodupandwentt
otakei
t.Thecupboar
dswer
eempt
ywi
thf
oodt
hat
'swhyI
boughttakeaways.

Me:
"Andi
l
e"

Andi
l
e:"Mmmh?
"

Me:
"howaboutImov
einwi
thy
ou?"

Idon'
tev
enknowwhatIam say
inghel
ooksatme.

Andi
l
e:"Iwoul
dlov
ethatbut.
..
."
Me:
"theni
t'
sset
tl
ed."

Iki
ssedhi
scheek.

Me:
"rel
ax"

Henodded.

Me:
"Ir
eady
ourt
hingandi
t'
sint
erest
ingandgr
eatandal
soPai
nful
,ver
ypai
nful
.Itf
eltr
eal
"

Andi
l
e:"i
tis"

Me:
"Idi
dn'
tfi
nishi
tthough"

Andi
l
e:"That
'sok"

Hegav
ememyphoneback.

Me:
"yougotwhaty
ouwant
ed?
"

Andi
l
e:"Yeah.Thanky
ou"

Iki
ssedmyl i
psandIr
espondedt
ohi
m,Aknockont
hedoorDi
stur
bedusandwel
ookedat
eachother
.

Me:
"wearsomet
hingont
op"

Hechuckl
ed.

Andi
l
e:"Theycanl
ookbutnott
ouch"

Me:
"st
il
l"

Het
ookat
opandwor
eitbef
oregoi
ngt
othedoorandopeni
ngi
t.

"
Boi
"

Andi
l
e:"Boi
,
howar
eyou?"

Phel
o:"Isawthi
sonthei
nter
netnehanddi
rect
edmet
oshopbecauseIwant
edsomet
hingf
or
mygirl
onlyt
oseethi
s"

Iwascur
ious.

Andi
l
e:"What?"

Phel
o:"y
eah"

Icoul
dhearsomeonesni
ff
ingandIt
hinkhei
scr
ying.
Phel
o:"ahboi
"

Amessagepi
ngedonmyphoneandi
twasanemai
ldi
rect
edt
oAndi
l
e.Ist
oodupandwentt
o
t
hedoorandhewasleani
ngont
hewal
lcr
ying.

Me:
"Hi
Phel
o"

Phel
o:"Zama,
Ihav
etogo.Keepi
t"

Hegav
ehi
m abook,
Andi
l
ewi
pedhi
stear
s.

Andi
l
e:"t
hanky
ou"

Henodded.

Me:
"what
'sgoi
ngon?
"

Hegav
emet
hebookandIl
ookedati
t.

Me:
"Chai
ns,
youwr
otei
t?"

Andi
l
e:"y
es"

Me:
"wow,
whatdoest
hismean?Wai
tyouhav
eamessage"

Igav
ehi
mthephoneandhewentt
hroughi
t.Hehuggedmeaf
tersomet
ime.

Andi
l
e:"l
et'
sgetmar
ri
ed"

Me:
"woahwhatwhy?
"

Andi
le:
"Chainsi
sat
ruest
ory
.It
'sabi
bli
ographyaboutmymother
'scur
setowher
eIam .Ihav
e
beenworki
ngmybut
tofft
ogeti
tpubl
ishedandfinal
l
yitdi
dandit
'ssel
l
ingf
ast"

Me:
"wow,
thi
smeans?
"

Andi
l
e:"meandy
oui
napool
"

Il
aughed.

Me:
"Iam sohappyf
ory
oubabe"

Heki
ssedmyl
i
ps.

Andi
l
e:"t
hanky
ouf
ory
ourpat
ience"

Me:
"it
'sok"

Ismi
l
edathi
m.
.

★I
NGATHI★

Thewaytorecover
ingisgoi
ngwell
.Iam worri
edaboutKamoandourchi
l
d, wher
ecouldthey
beandwhattheycouldbedoing?Aretheysaf
ewheretheyar
e?Thosequesti
onsroamedmy
mind.Thedooropenedandthegeneralwal
kedinsi
de.

Gener
al:
"howar
eyou?"

Me:
"Iam ok"

Gener
al:
"good.Cal
lyourcousi
ns.Weneedt
omov
efastory
oual
lwi
l
lbei
njai
linaf
orei
gn
count
ry"

Me:
"sur
e,canIcal
lmywi
fe"

Gener
al:
"cal
lyourf
ami
l
yandwewi
l
ltakey
out
owher
ethear
ehi
dingher"

Me:
"ok"

Hegav
emet
hephoneandIdi
aledi
tandi
trang.

"Hel
l
o"

Me:
"Nhl
anhl
ait
'smeI
ngat
hi"

Ther
ewassi
l
enceandsomeshuf
fl
ing.

Me:
"it
'sbad.Ineedy
out
oseeme"

Nhl
anhl
a:"howdoIknowy
ouar
enotj
ustsomescammer"

Me:
"sl
i
masakho,
scam y
ouof
fwhat?Thehar
bourbusi
nessi
satr
iskher
e"

Nhl
anhl
a:"har
bour?
"

Me:"youknowwhatIam t
alki
ngabout
.Iam att
heFor
ceHeadquar
ter
s,l
et'
smeet
.Ineedt
o
seeKamo"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Wewi
l
l"

Me:
"thanks"

Ihungupandgav
ebackt
hephon.
Gener
al:
"gethi
mready
."

Hewal
kedout
.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT30

★SNE★

Igotoutoft
hecabandwenttothebootandki
dswhowereplay
ingonthestr
eetcametoassi
st
mewi t
hthegrocer
iesandIcl
osedt
hebootwhenIam andaunt
yisst
andingbythedoorst
ep
wit
hhandsonherus.Ipaythecabdri
verandhet
hanksmeandIwalkinsi
detheyard.

Me:
"Sawubonaaunt
y(hel
l
oaunt
y)"

Aunt
y:"Wamuhl
eboh(y
ouar
ebeaut
if
ul)
"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Aunt
y:"howmuchdot
heypayy
ou?
"

Me:
"mor
ethanenough"

Shel
ooksatmybagandsnat
chesi
t.

Aunt
y:"Loui
sVui
tt
on,
isn'
tthi
sexpensi
ve?"

Me:
"it
'sagi
ft"

Aunt
y:"Iam gl
ady
ouar
eusi
ngy
ourbr
ainsandnotst
uckwi
tht
hatboy"
Me:
"Iam ov
erAndi
l
e"

Aunt
y:"Good,
comei
n"

Wewalkedinsi
de.Ai
zai
sbet
tert
hanAndi
l
e,waybet
ter.Ther
eshoul
dn'
tbeanycompar
ison
bet
weenthem atal
l.

★LI
NDI★

Iscrubbedmybodyi nthebathroom.Imi ssedBongil

eandIalsoneedtor
elaxaft
erevery
thing.
Iam tryingmybesttonotblowupandki l
l KamoEveryti
meIseeher.Sheeatsalotandgains
weightr api
dlyaswel
l.Weal l
arebutforherit
'st
oomuchandt oodi
sgust
ing.Howcould
Ingathicheatwit
hachildli
keher.Ij
usthopehei sfoundandwegettosayourlastgoodbyes
andhav eourheartsatease.Apartofmehopeshei ssti
ll
ali
vesomewhere.

Me:
"Ohmygod"

Ist
oppedandcr
ied.Icoul
dfeel
mychestcl
osi
ngi
nme.

★SI
ZA★

Weent
eredt
hebedr
oom andwentt
osi
tdown.

Ai
za:
"pl
easecomeher
e"

Iwentt
ohi
m andsatnextt
ohi
m andheki
ssedmyhand.

Ai
za:
"Ineedy
ouback.Thi
ngsar
enotgoi
ngwel
lwi
tht
hebusi
ness"

Me:
"what
'swr
ong?"

Ai
za:
"ourAsset
sar
est
art
ingt
ober
epossessed"

Me:
"why?"

Hesi
ghs.
Me:
"Ai
zawhatdi
dyoudo?"

Ai
za:
"Weneedt
omakeat
leastami
l
li
ont
osecur
ethecompanyorwewi
l
lbebankr
upt"

Me:
"Ami
l
li
on?"

Ai
za:
"yeah"

Isi
ghed,
hel
ookedatme.

Ai
za:
"Iwast
hinki
ngwecoul
dtakei
nthet
rustf
und"

Me:
"noAy
ize"

Ai
za:
"Pl
easebaby,
ifIgodownwebot
hdo"

Isi
ghed.

Ai
za:
"pl
ease"

Me:
"Ok.Wewi
l
ltal
kwi
tht
hebankonceIam backbecauseIcanaccessi
t"

Ai
za:
"Thanky
ou"

Heki
ssedmycheekandr
ubbedmyt
highs.

Ai
za:
"Youar
egai
ning"

Me:
"isi
tbad?"

Ai
za:
"No,
youl
ooksexy"

Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Heper
kedmyl
i
ps.

★NHLANHLA★

Si
yanda:
"whati
sit?"

Me:
"It
hinkwehav
eat
raceonf
indi
ngI
ngat
hi"
Si
yanda:
"shoul
dIi
nfor
m Thabani
andt
her
est?"

It
ookt
hegunsandl
oadedt
hem i
nthebag.

Me:
"no,
wewi
l
ljustbot
hgo"

Si
yanda:
"ok"

Icl
oset
hebagandzi
pmyj
acketup.

Me:
"Ihopet
hisi
sn'
tat
rap"

Si
yanda:
"wear
ecomi
ngpr
epar
ed."

Me:
"sur
e"

It
ookt
hebagandmycarkey
sandwewal
kedoutandl
oadedev
ery
thi
ngi
nthecarandgoti
n.

★SNE★

Aunt
y:"Phel
aukudl
abesesi
ngenakho(wedi
dn'
thav
efoodany
mor
e)"

Shewalkedintot
hel
oungewi
that
rayi
nherhandsandputi
tdownpour
ingt
eaf
orme.Iwas
sl
eepi
ngov er.

Me:
"Iam sor
ry"

Shesatdownaf
tergi
vi
ngmesomet
ea.

Aunt
y:"whoi
she?"

Iswal
l
owedt
hehott
eabr
ingi
ngi
nthecour
aget
osay
.

Me:
"Myboss.I
t'
snotser
ious"

Aunt
y:"Makesur
eit
'smor
ethanj
ustsexnow.Hemustgi
vey
ouev
ery
thi
ng"

Me:
"hehasawi
feandshei
saway"

Aunt
y:"t
hat
'sy
ouradv
ant
age.Usei
t"

Me:
"yousay?"

Aunt
y:"maket
hemanl
ovey
ouef
for
tl
essl
y.Justshaket
hatassandt
hickt
highsandhi
psand
hewi
l
lbey
our
s."

Me:
"Iwi
l
l"

Aunt
y:"goodgi
rl
."

Me:
"mmmh"

Isi
ppedmyt
ea.

★SI
ZA★

IthoughtmoneywiseweweresortedhenceAizadoesn'
tcomeback.Itdoesn'tmakesenseat
al
l andIam notgoi
ngt
oletgoofthatmoneywi t
houtinv
esti
gat
ions.Hehasl eftanhourago
andIam layi
nginmyroom t
hinki
ng, somet
hingisnotokandIhopeit
'snothi
ngbadr eal
ly
.

Me:
"Nomant
her
eissomet
hingwr
ong"

Somuchmoney
.

★I
NGATHI★

Nt
sika:
"cany
oust
andpr
oper
ly?"

Iwashol
dingont
othecr
utch.

Me:
"yeahIcan"

Gener
al:
"theyar
eappr
oachi
ng"

Wesawt
hecarappr
oachi
ngusandpar
kedi
nfr
ontofusandt
hedooropenedandt
heygotout
.

Me:
"Nhl
anhl
a"

Nhl
anhl
a:"whoar
ethesemen?Howdi
dyousur
viv
e?Wewer
elooki
ngf
ory
oual
lov
er"
Gener
al:
"youshoul
dbehappywear
esmar
tenought
osav
ehi
m. Wear
epar
toft
heS.
A.B
For
ce."

Si
yanda:
"Whi
chi
s?"

Nt
sika:
"Speci
alAgent
s"

Me:
"let
'sgett
othechase"

Nhl
anhl
a:"mmmh"

General
:"weknowabouty
oubei
nginv
olv
edwithheColumbians.Wehav
ebeenwant
ingt
hem
fort
hepast2year
sandwewanttocat
chthem wi
thyourhel
p"

Si
yanda:
"wedon'
twor
kwi
thot
herpeopl
e"

Gener
al:
"it
'st
hatoral
lofy
ougoi
ngdownt
omaxi
mum pr
isoni
naf
orei
gncount
ry"

Nhl
anhl
a:"i
sthatat
hreat?"

Hecamecl
osert
oNkonzo.

Nkonzo:
"(chuckl
e)Idon'
tmaket
hreat
s.Ipr
omi
se"

Me:
"canwedot
his,
wehav
eal
otofpeopl
etot
hinkaboutt
hant
ofi
ghteachot
her
."

Nt
sika:
"hei
sri
ght"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Ical
ltheshot
s"

Nkonzo:
"that
'swher
eyouar
emi
staken"

Me:
"weal
lmaket
heshot
s."

Theyl
ookatme.

Si
yanda:
"youhav
eal
otoft
hingst
odo"

Me:
"Iknow.Ij
ustwantt
oseeKamo"

Ther
ewassi
l
ence.

Nhl
anhl
a:"wewi
l
ltakey
ou"

Nkonzo:
"Tomor
rowwegonnameether
e,weneedt
obef
ast"

Si
yanda:
"canwel
eav
e"

Nhl
anhl
a:"y
ouwi
l
lfol
l
owus"
Theywal
kedof
f.

Nt
sika:
"Tomor
row"

Inoddedandwal
kedof
f.

★ZAMI
LE★

iopenedmyeyesandIl
ookedaroundandhewasnextt
omel
ooki
ngupatt
her
oof
.It
ook
somet i
metoadmir
ehim abi
t.

Me:
"ar
eyouok?"

Het
urnedt
ome.

Andi
l
e:"i
coul
dn'
tsl
eep"

Me:
"somet
hingwr
ong?
"

Andi
l
e:"no,
Ijustcoul
dn'
tsl
eep"

Me:
"ev
ery
thi
ngi
sreal
"

Hewr
appedhi
sar
msar
oundme.

Andi
l
e:"Iknow.Ij
ustwant
edt
omakesur
e"

Me:
"Iam of
ftoday
.WecangogetaKot
aorgot
othenear
estmal
l"

Andi
l
e:"l
et'
snotwast
esomemoney"

Me:
"weneedt
ocel
ebr
atey
ou"

Hesmi
l
edandsi
ghed.

Andi
l
e:"t
hanksmom"

Il
ookedathi
m andhuggedhi
m asher
etur
nedt
hef
avour.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Andi
l
e:"Il
ovey
oumor
ethanany
thi
ngZama"

Ikeptqui
et.
.

★SNE★

IWokeupearl
yandwentt
ocleanthehouse. Myphoner
angasIwasget
ti
ngar
oundt
he
ki
tchenandi
twasAi
za.Iansweredthecal
l.

Me:
"hi
"

Ai
za:
"If
eltl
onel
y,howar
eyou?"

Ibl
ushed.

Me:
"Iam good,
Iam good"

Ai
za:
"whenar
eyoucomi
ngback?"

Me:
"may
bet
oday"

Ai
za:
"shoul
dIf
etchy
ou?
"

Me:
"Iwoul
dlov
ethat"

Ai
za:
"ok,
Iwi
l
lthen.Il
ovey
ouok?"

Thatwasaf
ir
st.Iwant
edt
otwer
kandscr
eam butIhel
dmy
sel
f.

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Ai
za:
"Iwi
l
lseey
ou"

Me:
"ok"

Ibi
tmybot
tom l
i
pashehungupandIhel
dthephonecl
oset
ome.

Aunt
y:"goodmor
ning"

Shewal
kedi
nsi
de"

Me:
"mor
ning"

Ismi
l
edandwentt
otaket
hebr
oom.

.
★SI
ZA★

I
t'
sgett
ingbor
ingsit
ti
ngatthehousereal
l
y.Iwantt
ogohome.Imi ssmom aswel
lsomuch
wit
hdad.Iwalkeddownthestai
rsandNdalowasfeedi
ngherki
dsandLi
ndiwaswatchi
ngTV
andNt
ando.

Me:
"goodmor
ningev
ery
one"

Theyr
epl
i
ed.

Me:
"whenar
ewel
eav
ing?"

Nt
ando:
"Iam aski
ngt
hesamet
hing"

Ndal
o:"unt
ilmyhusbandsay
sso"

Me:
"ohok"

Ndal
o:"cany
ouwakeupKamo,
shewi
l
lbel
azy"

Me:
"not
ed"

Li
ndirol
l
edherey
esandi
ranupt
hest
air
sandwentt
oknocki
nherr
oom.Sheopenedt
hedoor
smil
i
ng.

Me:
"youl
ookup"

Kamo:
"Iam ,
youneedme?"

Me:
"wear
eeat
ing"

Kamo:
"ohIam hungr
yandt
hisbabyi
snotgi
vi
ngmepeace.Lookmyst
omachi
sgr
owi
ng"

Shel
i
ftshert
opandi
env
yhersomuch

Kamo:
"itl
ookscut
e"

Me:
"canIt
ouchi
t?"

ShenoddedandIt
ouchedherst
omachandr
ubbedi
t.

Me:
"it
'swonder
ful
"

Kamo:
"Ican'
twai
ttohol
dmybabyi
nmyar
ms"

If
aint
lysmi
l
edaswewal
keddown.

Li
ndi
:"y
ouar
egoi
ngt
obef
at"
Me:
"ignor
eher"

Wewentt
otheki
tchen.

Kamo:
"Iam af
rai
dwhenhenot
icesshotwi
l
lhi
tthef
an"

Me:"Ishowhery
ouar
escar
ed.Iam ascar
edper
sonbutIshowedBongi
l
eIam notscar
edof
her"

Shel
aughed.

Kamo:
"youdi
dshowher"

Me:
"see"

Kamo:
"ok"

Me:
"Iam maki
ngcer
eal
s"

Kamo:
"ok.IknowIwon'
tbef
ull
"

Ismi
l
ed.

"Beaut
if
ulpeopl
e"

Wet
urnedandhecamef
ort
handIsmi
l
ed.

Kamo:
"pl
easedon'
tl
etmehol
dabur
ningcandl
e,Iwon'
tbeabl
etohandl
eit"

Wel
aughed.

Si
yanda:
"howar
eyout
wo?"

Kamo:
"thr
ee"

Si
yanda:
"oht
hree.Myapol
ogi
es"

ShenoddedandIl
aughedt
urni
ngt
ohi
m.

Me:
"wear
eal
lok"

Kamo:
"yep"

Me:
"howdi
ditgo?"

Si
yanda:
"uhm (cl
eart
hroat
)youneedt
oseei
tfory
our
sel
ves"

Kamodr
oppedherspoon.

Kamo:
"wear
egonnaseehi
sbody?"
Si
yanda:
"yeah."

Me:
"howi
sit?"

Si
yanda:
"Ican'
tsay"

Me:
"wecango"

Kamowasr
oot
ed.

Si
yanda:
"ar
eyouok?"

Kamo:
"oh,
yeahy
eah.Wecango"

Wewal
kedoutoftheki
tchent
oget
her
.Ihel
dherhand.Iwashappyt
oseeSi
yandaaswel
lbut
goi
ngt
oseeingat
hi'
sbodywaswhatbr
oughtt
hemooddown.

Li
ndi
:"br
inghi
sbodyi
n,weneedt
oseehi
m andgethi
m bur
ri
ed.Whyar
epeopl
esocr
uel
"

Weall
satdownandSi
yandawal
kedof
fwi
thNhl
anhl
aandIl
ookedatKamo.Sheshowedf
ear
aswel
l.

Me:
"rel
ax"

Kamo:
"Iam scar
ed"

Me:
"Iam her
e"

Shesmi
l
ed.Theywal
kedbacki
nsi
deandaguywasbehi
ndt
hem.

Li
ndi
:"wher
eis.
..
."

Wewer
eal
lshockedt
oseet
hatt
heguywasi
ngat
hi.Kamost
oodupandr
anupt
hest
air
s.

Li
ndi
:"ohmyGod.Howdi
dyousur
viv
e"

I
ngat
hi:
"Idi
d"

Ndal
o:"wow,
uhm "

Iwasshocked.

Me:
"isheev
enr
eal
?"

Nhl
anhl
a:"hei
s"

Li
ndi
:"ohIam sohappyy
ouar
eal
i
ve"

.
I
ngat
hi:
"Ineedt
oseeKamot
henl
eav
e"

Li
ndi
:"babe"

Hei
gnor
edherandwal
kedupt
hest
air
s.

Ndal
o:"weneedt
otal
k."

Shesai
dlooki
ngatherhusband.Iwasst
il
lroot
edwher
eIam.

★KAMOGELO★

Igoti
nthebedr
oom andcl
osedt
hedoorandwentonmykneesandst
art
edpr
ayi
ng.

Me:"i
castawayall
demonsLord,Iknowt hatIsawwasaghostandev
ilspi
ri
tandSat
ani
s
t
ryi
ngtoatt
ackthegif
tgi
venbyyouthroughill
usion"

"Iam notademonnorghost"

Iscr
eamedopeni
ngmyey
es.

I
ngat
hi:
"howar
eyou?"

Me:
"how,
.
..
how.
.how"

I
ngat
hi:
"canIt
ouchy
ou?"

Me:
no,
stayt
her
e.I
AM scar
edofy
ou"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iam notademonorghostKamo"

Me:
"noweaponf
ormedagai
nstmeshal
lpr
osper"

I
ngat
hi:
"cany
oust
oppr
ayi
ng"

Me:
"Fi
re!i
nthenameofJesusChr
ist"

Ikeptonchant
ingany
thi
ngt
hatcamet
omi
nd.If
elthi
m hol
dmyl
egandIscr
eam!
Ed.

I
ngat
hi:
"shhcal
m down."

Me:
"don'
thur
tus."

It
ri
edt
ocr
awl
offandhepul
l
edmeup.
I
ngat
hi:
"Kamogel
oyouar
egonnagi
vemybabyst
resswi
thnonsense!"

Heshout
ed.Ibr
eat
hedi
nandout.

I
ngat
hi:
"it
'smeok?"

Inodded.

I
ngat
hi:
"hav
eyoucal
meddown?"

Me:
"yes"

Myhear
twasst
il
lraci
ng.It
hinkIam dr
eami
ng.I
ngat
hi:
"cal
m down"

Her
anhi
sfi
nger
sonmyar
m andki
ssedmyl
i
ps.

I
ngat
hi:
"Iam ok,
k?"

Inoddedandheki
ssedme.Thedooropened.

Li
ndi
:"Iam si
ckandt
ir
edoft
hischi
l
d!"

I
ngat
hist
oodbet
weenus.

Li
ndi
:"y
ouwi
l
lknowme"

Nhl
anhl
a:"wedon'
twantdr
amaLi
ndi
we"

Li
ndi
:"t
hisi
smyhusband."

I
ngat
hi:
"don'
tannoymepl
easedon'
t"

Li
ndi
:
"youhav
enoshamei
ngat
hi"

Shehi
thi
schest
.

I
ngat
hi:
"fuckl
i
ndi
!Thi
sisnotamov
ie."

Me:
"youar
ehi
tt
inghi
m !"

Li
ndi
:
",shutup!
"

Theytookherawayandi
ngat
hiwentt
osi
tdown.OhLor
d.Tel
lmei
t'
sadr
eam.Idi
dasi
l
ent
pray
er.

.
Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT31

"
it
'sbeenaf
ewmi
nut
esandal
readyt
hingsar
eget
ti
ngmessy"

Ibi
tmybot
tom l
i
pwhi
l
eint
hought
s.

Si
yanda:
"Ar
eyouok?"

Heput st
hebottl
edwateronthecount
erst
andingnexttome.Nhlanhl
aiswit
htheot
her
sdoi
ng
hisusuall
ect
uresandIam heret
ogetmymi ndoffthi
ngsandt
hinkhowthi
ngsdon'
tmake
senseatthi
spoint.

Me:
"Yes,
yeahIam."

Hel
ookedatme.

Me:
"Ai
zacamet
ovi
sity
est
erday"

Hewassi
l
ent
.

Si
yanda:
"Sowhatnow?"

Me:
"Mmmh?"

Si
yanda:
"ar
ewecar
ryi
ngt
heonor?"

Me:
"Uhm .
..
..
"

Her
aisedhi
sbr
ow.

Me:
"wear
e"

Si
yanda:
"Idon'
tl
ikeshar
ing"
Me:
"Oh"

Si
yanda:
"Youhav
etodi
vor
cehi
m"

Me:
"uhm ,
okt
hen"

Hesmi
l
edandper
kedmyl
i
pswhi
cht
urnedi
ntoawonder
ful
kiss.

Si
yanda:
"FuckImi
ssedy
ou"

Me:
"met
oo."

Hebi
thi
sbot
tom l
i
pbef
oreper
kingmyl
i
ps.

Si
yanda:
"Youwon'
tregr
eti
t"

Inodded.Ir
eal
l
yhopeIdon'
tregr
eti
tandgof
rom onedeni
ntoanot
her
.

★LI
NDI★

Nhl
anhl
a:"Iam r
eal
l
yti
redoft
his"

Hel
ookedatme.

Nhl
anhl
a:"I
ngat
hisor
tit
"

I
ngat
hi:
"ther
eisnot
hingt
osor
t.Li
ndi
weandIar
eget
ti
ngadi
vor
ce"

Me:
"Baby
"

I
ngat
hi:
"whatLi
ndi
we?
"

Me:
"Iam sor
ry"

I
ngat
hi:
"wel
li
t'
slat
e"

Il
ookedathi
m andwentonmyknees.

Ndal
o:"Pl
easest
andupsi
si"

I
ngat
hi:
"wheny
oul
i
edt
omey
oushoul
dhav
ethoughtoft
his"

Kamost
oodupandwal
kedof
f.Iwassobbi
ng.Hef
oll
owedaf
terher
.
Nt
ando:
"Iam sor
ry.

Isni
ff
ed.Shecameandhuggedme,
I..
.If
eel
hur
t.Ihol
dmychestasIcr
y.

★KAMOGELO★

"
Kamogel
o!"

Iignor
edhim andkeptonwalki
ng.Ireachedt
hegardenandIsatdownonthegrass.Ican'
t
beli
eveheial
iveandthisi
snotadream butatthesameti
meIcan'tbel
i
evewhathesaidin
theret
inywi
fe.Itki
ndofhurtmegreatly
.

I
ngat
hi:
"whydi
dyouwal
kout?"

Me:
"whyar
eyouusi
ngme?"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iam not"

Inodded.

I
ngat
hi:
"whywoul
dyout
hinkt
hat?
"

Me:
"i
fyourwi
fedi
dn'
tdowhat
evershedi
dtoy
ou,
youwoul
dn'
thav
eimpr
egnat
edmer
ight?"

Hekeptqui
etandi
chuckl
ed.

Me:
"Wow"

I
ngat
hi:
"Kamol
i
sten"

Me:
"it
hinki
hadenoughf
ort
oday
."

Icl
osedmyey
es.

I
ngat
hi:
"Kamogel
oli
stent
omepl
ease"

Ikeptqui
et.

Ingat
hi :
"Iknowwest ar
tedoffwrongbuty
ouknewt hatIhadawi f
eandall
.Iknowmyr eason
ofimpregnatingy
ouwasj usttohaveachi
ldbecauseIam growi
ngandmywi fedecei
vedme
andIdidn'tgetachi
ldfr
om her.Iknowevery
thi
ngisalll
iesbutIam bei
nghonestnow.Iam
notusingy ouasIwas."
Me:
"thanky
ouf
ort
hat"

I
ngat
hi:
"Kamo"

Me:
"it
'sf
ine.Iunder
stand"

Hekeptqui
et.

Me:
"Iwoul
dli
ket
obeal
onepl
ease"

I
ngat
hi:
"canIt
oucht
hest
omach?"

Iopenedmyeyesandsi
ghed.Istoodupandl
if
tedmytopandhecamecl
oserandhel
dwit
hhis
onehadthecr
utchandputt
heotheronmystomachandranhi
sfi
nger
sonmyt i
nyst
omach.

I
ngat
hi:
"mmmh"

Ilookedathi
shandmov
ingar
oundmybel
l
ymaki
ngci
rcul
armot
ionsandhest
oppedand
touchedthemiddl
e.

I
ngat
hi:
"Wow"

Ituckedmybott
om lipundermyteet
handplacedmyhandonmybell
yaswellandheputhi
s
oveerminehol
dingit.Welookedateachot
herandIr
etr
enchedmyhandandhetookhi
shand
backaswellandiletmytopdown.

Me:
"Ishoul
dgoi
nsi
de"

I
ngat
hi:
"St
op"

Ist
oppedwhenIwasabouttowalkandhewasaf ootawayfrom me.Hekissedmyforehead
andIcl
osedmyeyes.I
t'
sthatunusual
thoseunusualt
hingshedoes,her
etheyareonceagain.

Me:
"t
hisi
swei
rd"

I
ngat
hi:
"itshoul
dn'
tbe"

Me:
"mmmh"

Heperkedmyl i
pswhi chturnedi
ntoakissandIpl
acedmyhandsaroundhisneck,thi
sman.
Danki
efatherGodf ornottaki
nghim .WhowouldhaveknownIwoul
dmi sski
ssinghimli
ket
his
aswell
.It'
sdiff
erentaswel l
.Hebreaksit.

I
ngat
hi:
"let
'sbui
l
dagr
eatsuppor
tsy
stem f
ort
hel
i
ttl
eone"

Inoddedl
ooki
ngathi
m.

.
.

★ZAMI
LE★

wegotoffthetaxi
andmadeourwayi nthemallgoi
ngfrom shopt
oshopgoi
ngt
obuynew
under
wearformeandwewentt obuysomegr oceri
esandItookusoutt
oKFC.Wesatdown
andhelookedatmesmil
ingandIblushed.

Me:
"what?"

Andi
l
e:"Lookatt
his"

Het
ookt
het
issueI
nfr
ontofusandmadear
ingwi
thi
t.Il
aughed.

Me:
"youar
esi
l
ly"

Andi
l
e:"doy
ouaccept?"

Me:
"yes"

Heki
ssesmyhand.

Andi
l
e:"y
oudon'
tknowhowhappyi
tmakesmet
oseey
ousmi
l
e"

Il
ookeddown.

Me:
"st
opchar
ming"

Hechuckl
ed.

Andi
l
e:"y
ou'
reamazi
ng."

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Ouror
dercameandhewentt
ocol
l
ecti
twhi
l
eIsatt
her
e.

★SNE★

IWashedmybodyonceagainaf
terhelpi
ngauntyclean.Mycousini
snothome, shewentto
herbabydaddy
'spl
acesowecan'tseeeachother.Igotoutoft
hebasi
nandIwipedmybody
andstar
tedtol
oti
onandIt
hentookoutClothesthtIwil
lwearandst
art
edget
ti
ngdr essed.Ai
za
r
eal
l
yknowsst
yleaswel
l.Idi
dmyhai
randmademy
sel
flookgood.Aunt
ywal
kedi
n.

Aunt
y:"i
sthty
ou?"

Inodded.Shecl
appedherhands.

Aunt
y:"y
oul
ookst
unni
ng"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Aunt
y:"gethi
m"

Me:
"Iwi
l
l"

Il
ookedatmy
sel
fthr
ought
hemi
rr
or.

★NARRATED★

Themenleftt
heirwomenatthesafehouseandwenttomeetNkonzo,Nt
sikaandalsoSanel
e.
Theywai
tedandt hent
heguy
sappr oachedt
hem andpar
kedthei
rcar
snexttoeachother
.
Nkonzogotoutandwenttot
hewi ndowandSiyandal
oweredi
tv

Nkonzo:
"wear
eheadingtoH.Qtodi
scussthisi
ndet
ail
butweneedy
out
ost
epoutoft
hecar
sowecancl
oseyoureyesanddr
ivey
out her
e"

Nhl
anhl
a:"
what!"

Nkonzo:
"youhear
dwhatIsai
d"

Nhl
anhlawasgett
ingfur
iousbutt
houghtoft
heColumbi
anst
atneededt
obeof
fhi
sback.The
r
esthoppedoutofthecarbef
oretheywi
llmovey
ou

Tobecont
inued
~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT32

★SNE★

Imademywayoutoft hehousewit
hmybagandhewasst
andingnextt
ohiscar
.Hewas
dressedf
ormal
lyandlookedr
eal
l
ygoodi
nhim.It
'sl
i
kemyfir
stti
meseeinghim.Ir
eachhi
m
andhesmi l
es,
Iretur
nit.

Ai
za:
"Youseem l
i
key
ouwer
epl
anni
ngonnotcomi
ngback"

Me:
"noIwas"

Hetakesmybagandput
sitatt
hebackandwebot
hgeti
nthecar.Icanseemyauntpeaki
ng
andIam sur
eshewi
ll
cal
lmeonceIam home. Hest
art
edthecaranddrov
eoff
.

Me:
"youcomi
ngf
rom wor
k?"

Ai
za:
"yeah.Ihadameet
ing"

Me:
"oh,
Ihopei
twentwel
l"

Hesmi
l
ed.

Ai
za:
"Il
i
key
ourcooki
ng"

Me:
"Whatdoy
ouwantmet
ocookf
ory
ou?"

Ai
za:
"BeefIdon'
tknowhatel
set
heny
ou"

Hel
ooksatme.

Me:
"me?"

Heput
shi
shandonmyt
highwhol
ehei
sdr
ivi
ngandr
unsi
tal
ongt
her
e.

Ai
za:
"yeahy
ou"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lbet
oomucht
ohandl
e"

Ai
za:
"isi
t?"
Inoddedandhesmi
rked.

Ai
za:
"wewi
l
lseeaboutt
hat"

Me:
"Mmmh"

It
urnedf
rom hi
m andconcer
ntr
ateont
her
oad.

★LI
NDI★

Shewal
kedi
nsi
dethehouseandIwantedt
ostrangl
eherbutNdal
owasgi
vi
ngmeawar
ning
l
ook.Isi
ghedandNtandokeptpat
ti
ngmyback.

Me:
"ar
eyouhappyl
i
ttl
esl
ut?"

Kamo:
"excuseme?"

Me:
"youhear
dme"

Kamo:"Idi
dn'
tcheatonyou.Hedi
d.Idi
dn'
tbr
eaky
ourmar
ri
agedown.Youbot
hdi
dsopl
ease
keepmeoutofyourprobl
ems."

Me:
.Iwi
l
lgety
ou"

Kamo:
"Letmegoeat"

Ndal
o:"Ther
ear
elef
tov
ersi
nthef
ri
dge"

Kamo:
"Thanky
ou"

shewal
kedof
fandIcl
i
ckedmyt
ounge

Ndal
o:"Li
ndi
we"

Shei
sannoy
ingaswel
l
.Herbabyboycamet
oherandshepi
ckedhi
m upandwal
kedof
f.

★I
NGATHI★
I
twasall
sil
ent
.Idon'tknowwhyt heybl
i
ndf
oldedmebecauseIknowthepl
acebutany
waywe
ar
enotonthat
.Thecarstoppedandwegotoutofi
tandt
heytookofft
hebli
ndfol
ds.

Nhl
anhl
a:"somuchf
orhospi
tal
i
ty"

Nkonzo:
"Mmmh"

Weclosedthecardoorandf ol
lowedaf
terthem maki
ngourwayi
n.Wef ol
l
owedNtsi
kaand
Nkonzoinsi
lenceti
ll
wer eachedaroom andgotinbef
oret
heycl
osedt
hedoor
.Nkonzot
ook
outafi
leandputitonthetableandNhl
anhlatookit
.

Nkonzo:
"Itcanbei
nthesy
stem f
ast
ert
hany
oucanbr
eat
he"

Nhl
anhl
alooksati
tandcl
enchedhi
sjawbef
orecl
osi
ngt
hef
il
eandt
hrowi
ngi
tont
het
abl
e.

Nkonzo:
"you'
vegotawi
fet
her
e"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Whatdoy
ouwant?"

Nt
sika:
"It
houghtwemadei
tcl
ear
."

Nhl
anhl
a:"whatdoy
ouwantust
odo?"

Nkonzo:
"wepl
ayi
tsi
mpl
e.Askf
orpeaceandst
artf
rom t
her
e."

Weal
ll
ookedateachot
her
.

Si
yanda:
"gi
veusR200Mi
l
li
ont
henwewi
l
ldoi
t"

Nkonzo:
"done"

Nhl
anhl
a:"6Mont
hsmaxi
mum becausewedi
damess"

Nkonzo:
"ifwecat
cht
hem.That
'sal
lweneed."

Nhl
anhl
a:"l
et'
sgo.Weneedt
ogett
hisdone"

Nt
sika:
"whati
stheR200Mi
l
li
onf
or?"

Me:
"moneywet
ook"

Nkonzo:
"youwi
l
lhav
etopayi
tback"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Done"

Theynoddedl
ooki
ngateachot
herbef
oreNhl
anhl
awal
kedout
.

Nt
sika:
"hei
sdi
ff
icul
t"

Si
yanda:
"Hel
i
kesor
deranddoesn'
ttakewel
lont
hreat
sorshi
t"
Nkonzo:
"hewi
l
lhav
etodr
inkhi
segoandpr
ideup."

Me:
"Mmmh"

★SI
ZA★

Idon'tmindtakingcareofKamo,shefascinat
esmeorisitherst
omachthatf
acinat
esmeso
much.Shehadj ustvomi
tedherwhol
edinneronthefl
oorandwecleanedi
tupandgother
bathedanddr essedinpyj
amasreadyforbed.ItouchhercheekasIl
ookather
.Sheopens
herey esandlooksatme.

Kamo:
"youar
eav
erywei
rdchar
act
erSi
za"

Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
"Iam sor
ryi
fIscar
eyou"

Shesi
tsup.

Kamo:
"youdo"

Imov
emyhandsandkeept
hem t
omy
sel
f.

Kamo:
"hav
eyouconsi
der
edt
aki
ngt
her
apy?"

Me:
"no"

Kamo:
"why?Youhav
eal
lthemoneyf
ori
t"

Isi
gh

Me:
"Wel
lmay
benotany
mor
e"

Kamo:
"what?"

Me:"Aizaaskedmet ogi
vehi
m amil
li
onRandt
hati
smyt
rustf
undmoneyf
rom hi
sfat
hert
o
sav
et hebusinessbef
orei
tsi
nks."

Kamo:
"thatdoesn'
tmakeanysense.Hehasbeenawaydoi
ngbusi
nessunl
ess.
..
..
"

Me:
"what?"
Kamo:
"May
behei
scheat
ing."

Me:
"wegotr
idofi
sidl
i
so(l
ovepot
ion)
"

Kamo:"i
tdoesn'
ttakealov
epot
iontomakeamancheatSi
za,someti
mesIf eelli
keIam ol
der
thany
outhewayyout r
ytofi
ndi
nnocencei
npeopl
e.I
t'
soutt
here.Heischeatingandwantsto
l
eaveyoudr
y"

Me:
"wow"

Howcoul
dhedot
hist
ome?

Me:
"Iwi
l
laskhi
m."

Kamo:"y
oucanbuthewi
l
ldenyi
t.Tr
ycat
chi
nghi
mred-
handedoract
ionsorhi
sphonewhen
hecomesher
e"

Me:
"Iwi
l
l"

Kamo:
"letmegot
osl
eep.Iam t
ir
ed."

Shet
ooktheblanketandturnedt
heot
herdi
rect
ionwhi
lecl
osi
nghereyes.Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
o
do.MaybeIshouldinvest
igat
ehi
mthantoaskhim.Ifhei
sthenIdon'
tknowwhathereal
l
y
want
sfr
om me.

★NDALO★

Iki
sstheirf
oreheadsandputthet
oysawayandIwal
koutandt
hewal
lcl
osedbehi
ndme.If
ind
himlayi
ngont hebedandItouchhi
sthi
gh.

Me:
"ar
eyouok?"

Nhl
anhl
a:"weneedanot
hermeet
ing"

Me:
"wi
th?"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Col
umbi
ans"

Me:
"whataboutt
hemoney?"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Ihav
eit"

Me:
"itdoesn'
tl
ookgood"
Hesatupandhel
dmywai
st.

Nhl
anhl
a:"don'
tmuch,
youknowIal
way
sdomybestt
opr
otecty
ouandt
heki
ds"

Ihol
dhi
sfaceandper
khi
sli
ps.

Me:
"andIl
ovey
ouf
ort
hat
."

Isi
tonhi
slap.

Nhl
anhl
a:"Ipr
omi
set
hiswi
l
lal
lbeov
er"

Me:
"Iknow"
,

Iki
sshi
sfor
ehead

★SI
ZA★

Iappli
edsomeloti
onontomylegsaf
terwear
ingagownandputi
tawayonceIam done.Iwish
Icangetoutofhereanddri
vehomeandthi
nkthatmay
beIwil
lbehur
ti
nghimfornothi
ngandI
am theonecheat
inghere.

"Yourmi
ndwonder
sof
ftoomuch"

Hewal
ksi
n,cl
osest
hedoorandhel
aysont
hebed.

Si
yanda:
"tel
lmewhat
'sbot
her
ingy
ou"

Heopenshi
sar
msandIdi
vei
ntot
hem.

Si
yanda:
"ar
eyouok?"

Inod.

Me:
"cany
oudosomet
hingf
orme?"

Si
yanda:
"any
thi
ng"

Me:
"Iwantt
ogohomeandcheckonAi
za"

Si
yanda:
"hecamey
est
erday
"
Me:
"it
'ssomet
hingKamosai
dthatj
ustgotmet
hinki
ng"

Si
yanda:
"tel
lme."

Me:
"heneedsami
l
li
ont
osav
ethebusi
ness"

Si
yanda:
"whydoesi
tinv
olv
eyou?"

Me:
"heaskedmei
fIcoul
dgi
vei
ttohi
m"

Si
yanda:"woahkancanebabe,soyouaret
ell
i
ngmet
hathehasbeenawaydoi
ngwhat?Now
hewantsyourmoney?Thisisnotr
ight"

Me:
"cal
m down.,
Kamosai
dhemi
ghthav
ebeencheat
ing"

Siy
anda:"hedamnr
ighti
sandakhomal
iMoni
kaYonangi
mil
elapho(andt
her
eisnotmoney
youwil
lgivet
ohim,
Istandont
hatcommand)
"

Me:
"yes"

Heki
ssedmyl
i
ps.

Si
yanda:
"don'
tev
engi
vei
ttohi
m.Keepf
ory
our
sel
f"

Inodded.Hisf
ather
'shar
dearnedbusi
ness.Iam t
hinki
ngoft
hat
.Ikeptqui
etandl
ookedt
he
otherwayashewrappedhisar
msaroundme.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT33

IwaswokenupbySiyandapull
i
ngthecover
soffme.Iwasenj
oyingmysl
eepmoreespeci
all
y
whenhewasholdi
ngmecl osetohi
m,Ifel
trel
i
evedt
hathewasnextt
omeandhisar
ms
behav
esogoodaroundmybody .
Me:
"Si
yanda"

Si
yanda:
"Babewakeup"

Me:
"Why?"

Si
yanda:
"Iam t
aki
ngy
out
oAi
za"

Isatup.

Me:
"Why?"

Si
yanda:
"Youwant
edt
ogo"

Mw:
"Ihav
echangedmymi
nd.Idon'
twantt
ogoany
mor
e"

Si
yanda:
"AhSi
za"

Me:
"Comebacki
nbed.Iam sl
eepy"

Si
yanda:
"Ral
l
y?Iwokeupf
ornot
hing"

Me:
"Idi
dn'
tsayy
oushoul
dwakeup"

Si
yanda:
"Mxm"

Ipull
edt
hecov
ersandl
aidbacki
nbedcl osi
ngmyey
es.Thenextmi
nut
ehegoti
nbedand
pul
ledmetohi
m andki
ssedmyforehead.

Si
yanda:
"St
il
ldon'
twantt
ogo?"

Me:
"Idon'
twantt
oputmyl
i
feonsomepar
anoi
dthought
s"

Si
yanda:
"Hav
eyout
houghtofput
ti
ngy
ourmoneyi
ntouse"

Me:
"no,
Ial
way
sgotwhatIneededsoIdi
dn'
t.Yout
hinki
ngIshoul
dgi
vei
ttoAi
za?"

Siyanda:"No,butthi
nkofyourownf
utur
e.Youcan'
tdependonamanSi
zanotevenme
thoughIwouldtakecareofyouasmywomanbutit'
sal
way sni
cet
owor
kforsomethi
ngorget
somet hi
ngthat
'syoursandnooneel
se'
s"

Me:
"Iheary
ou.Whatshoul
dIdo?"

Si
yanda:
"Inv
est,
inbusi
nessorpr
oper
ty"

Ikeptqui
et.

Me:
"Iwi
l
lthi
nkabouti
t"

Si
yanda:
"Thi
nkabouti
t"
HekissedmyforeheadandIkeptquiet
.Al otoft
hingsar
efil
l
edinmymi ndbutIgetwhathei
s
say
ingandli
ketheideaaswellbutIdon'tknowwher et
ostarti
fIwast
ostart.

Si
yanda:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Ikeptqui
etaf
ter
.

★KAMOGELO★

I
ngat
hi:
"Idon'
treal
l
ygetwhywear
efi
ght
ing"

Me:
"JustgetoutI
ngat
hi,
youar
enotsupposedt
obei
nher
e!"

I
ngat
hi:
"Wher
eam Isupposedt
obet
hen?"

Me:
"wi
thLi
ndaorsomewher
eel
se.Notwaki
ngupnextt
ome"

I
ngat
hi:
"Justcal
m downandst
opshout
ing"

Ibr
eat
hedi
nandoutcl
osi
ngmyey
es.

I
ngat
hi:
"Ar
eyoucal
m ?"

Me:
"Getdr
essedpl
ease"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iwantt
oshower"

Me:
"Youcanshoweri
ntheot
herr
oom "

I
ngat
hi:
"noIwantt
oshowerher
e"

Iheav
eaheav
ysi
gh.

I
ngat
hi:
"Tal
ktome"

Hesatont
hebedandl
ookedatme.

Me:
"Idon'
tl
iket
hef
actt
haty
ouandy
ourwi
fear
eendi
ngal
lbecausei
fme"

I
ngat
hi:
"whydoy
out
hinki
t'
syourf
aul
t? I
t'
sal
lher
'swhenshel
i
edaboutourchi
l
d"

Iwasal
armedbyt
hat
.
Me:
"Yourson?"

Hesi
ghed.

I
ngat
hi:
"shest
olet
hebaby"

Igasped.

Me:
"Yho,
Iam sor
ry.That
'sbi
g"

Hesi
ghed.

Me:
"soIam j
usti
ncubat
ingt
hebabyy
ouwant?"

I
ngat
hi:
"youar
enotani
ncubat
orKamo"

Me:
"Idi
dn'
tsayIam one."

I
ngat
hi:
'Comeher
e"

Iwenttohim andcarefull
yhepulledmet ohim andweshar edakiss.But
ter
fl
iesoccupiedmy
stomachandsentshiv ersdownmyspi ne,Ibrokeitbuthepull
edmebacki nandweki ssed
again.Ouryoungestintert
wini
ng.Ourli
psmat chingeachotherandouremoti
onsov erfl
owing
i
nsuchani ntenseki
ss.Hemov edhishandsundermypy j
amat opandhecaressedmyski n
beforehepull
edbackandwentt omyni ppl
esandpl ayedwitht
hem.Isl i
ght
lybuthisbottom l
i
p
aswebr okeofftheki
ssandImoanedashecar essedme.

I
ngat
hi:
"MmmmhFuckKamoy
ouar
etempt
ingme"

HekissedmyneckandIbi
tmybottom l
i
p.Hel
eftmytopandhishandswentundermypy
jama
pant
sandsqueezedmybuttandhecametomywaistbef
oreper
kingme.

I
ngat
hi:
"Wor
ryaboutusnooneel
seok?"

Inoddedl
ooki
ngathi
m.

I
ngat
hi:
"Goodgi
rl
.Iwi
l
lbeok"

Me:
"Ok"

Het
henwentoncar
essi
ngmybody.Il
ovedhi
stouchonmyski
n.I
tlef
tmewant
inghi
m mor
e
t
hanj
usthav
ingaki
sswit
hhi
m.

★SNE★
Hewalkeddownthestai
rscar
ryi
ngmewhi l
eIam onl
yinhi
st-
shi
rt
.Hekeepsonki
ssi
ngmy
neckandIam gi
ggl
ingandenj
oyinghi
steasesaswel
l.

Me:
"st
opi
t"

Ai
za:
"Idon'
twantt
o"

Me:
"Ai
zaSt
op!"

Igi
ggl
ebuthekeepsonki
ssi
ngmyneck.Wegett
othel
oungeandIl
ookathi
m,Il
ovet
hisman
andheisGodsent.

Ai
za:
"Whyar
eyoul
ooki
ngatme?"

Me:
"Youar
ehandsome"

Ai
za:
"real
l
y?"

Me:
"yesy
ouar
e"

Hechuckl
ed.

Azi
a:"Youar
ebeaut
if
ul"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Heputmedownandhel
dmywai
standki
ssedmyneckandni
bbl
edmyearandIgi
ggl
ed.

Me:
"St
op"

Hehel
dmywai
st.

Ai
za:
"Itdontwantt
o"

Me:
"Ai
zaBi
yase!"

Hef
inal
l
yst
oppedandIt
urnedt
ohi
m.

Ai
za:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Itmakesmyheartj
umpEv
eryt
imeIhearhi
m saythat
. LikeIcanshouti
tont
herooftopfor
ever
yonetohear
.Wesharedaki
ssbeforeheadi
ngtothekit
chentogetsomebr
eakfast
.

.
★ZAMI
LE★

Icl
osedthepotaft
ermaki
ngsomeporri
dgeandIlookedathi
m sl
eepi
ng.Heisv
erydeepin
andithi
nkIam ver
ydeepi
nhim aswell
.Heopenedhiseyesandshi
ft
edar
oundbef
oresit
ti
ng
upandhelooksatmeandIret
urnthef
avourwhi
lesmi l
i
ng.

Andi
l
e:"whendi
dyouwakeup?"

Me:
"somet
imeago"

Andi
l
e:"come"

Hepul
l
edmei
ntobedandl
aidmeonhi
schestandki
ssedt
hecr
ackofmyneck.

Andi
l
e:"whyar
eyouupear
ly?"

Me:
"Iam goi
ngi
nbymi
dday"

Andi
l
e:"ok"

Hecar
essedme.

Me:
"Andi
l
e"

Andi
l
e:"mmmh?"

Me:
"woul
dyougobackt
oheri
fshewal
kedt
hrought
hatdoor?"

Andi
l
e:"noIwoul
dn'
t.Il
ovey
ouandIassur
eyout
haty
ouar
etheonl
yonei
nmyl
i
fe."

Me:
"ok"

Andi
l
e:"Ungasabi
(don'
tbescar
ed)
"

Me:
"angi
sabi
(Iam notscar
ed)
"

Ikeptqui
etandl
i
stenedt
ohi
shear
tbeat
.

★NDALO★

Me:
"umdal
anokungi
pit
siza(y
ouar
esool
dandsuf
focat
ingme)
"
Hechuckl
edandper
kedmyl
i
ps.

Nhl
anhl
a:"Iam notheav
y"

Me:
"youar
e"

Herol
l
edof
fmet
othesi
deandIpul
l
edt
hecov
ersupt
omynakedbodyandheget
sunderi
tas
wel
l
.

Nhl
anhl
a:"ar
etheyok?"

Me:
"Idi
dcheckont
hesur
vei
l
lanceandt
heyar
ejustsl
eepi
ng."

Nhl
anhl
a:"mmhok.Howaboutanot
herone?
"

Me:
"af
tersomet
ime"

Heki
ssesmyneck.

Nhl
anhl
a:"Howl
ongi
ssomet
ime?"

Me:
"6y
ear
s.

Nhl
anhl
a:"y
ouwi
l
lbei
nmonopausebyt
hen"

Ihi
thi
schestandhel
aughed.

Me:
"Iwon'
tev
enbe40byt
hen.Idon'
tknowabouty
ou"

Nhl
anhl
a:"myseedswon'
tdi
e"

Me:
"wewi
l
lhav
eot
herbabi
es.Whent
heycanal
readyscr
uff
leasent
ence"

Nhl
anhl
a:"boy
shur
ryupsowecanhav
eababysi
ster"

Il
aughed,
het
urnedmet
ofacehi
m.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Il
ovey
oumor
ethanany
thi
ng"

Ismi
l
ed.Myhappi
ness,
mysanct
uar
y,myev
ery
thi
ng.Ihav
enev
erbeenhappi
erbei
ngwi
tha
manli
kehi
m.

.
Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT34

[
FOURMONTHSLATER]

★NDALO★

Nhl
anhl
a:"Ar
eyougood?"

Inodl
ett
ingoutabi
gsi
gh.Hehol
dsmyhand.

Nhl
anhl
a:"don'
twor
ry.Wegott
hemoneyandev
ery
thi
ng"

Me:
"Let
'shopet
heydon'
tshootuswhenweent
er"

Nhl
anhl
a:"May
bey
oushoul
dst
ay"

Me:
"No,
Iwantt
ocome.Let
'sgo"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Br
ingy
ourl
eg"

Ipl
acedmyl egonhi sl
apandhetookoutt
hegunandcheckeditbefor
eheplacedi
tbackandI
pul
ledmydr essdown.TherewasaknockonthedoorandNhlanhl
agooutandIfol
lowed.I
t
wasSiyandawithIngat
hiaswel
l.

Si
yanda:
"ar
eyousur
eaboutbei
ngher
e?"

Me:
"yesi
am "

I
ngat
hit
ookoutabagf
rom t
hebootandcl
osedi
t.

I
ngat
hi:
"Iheav
y"

Si
yanda:
"wewi
l
lcar
ryi
t."
Nhl
anhl
a:"l
et'
sgo"

Theycarr
iedthebagandwewenti
nsi
det
her
est
urant
.Wewer
est
oppedbyt
heguy
swhower
e
st
andingbythedoor.

Guy:
"St
opt
her
e"

Welookedateachother
.Nhl
anhl
atookouthi
sgunandgavei
ttotheguyandhel
ookedat
i
ngathi
andSiyandawhodidt
hesame.Ijustst
oodt
hereandhelookedatme.

Nhl
anhl
a:"Ndal
o"

It
ookoutt
heonei
nmycl
utchandt
heyt
ookourgunsaway
.

Guy:
"Youmaypr
oceed"

Wenoddedandwal
kedi
nsi
deandt
her
ewassmokeasweent
ered.

Nhl
anhl
a:"Gent
lemen"

Theyst
oodupandpoi
ntedt
hei
rgunsatus."

Man:
"Yout
hinky
ouwer
esmar
thuh?"

Si
yanda:
"wej
ustcamei
npeace"

Man:
"wher
eisourmoney?
"

Nhl
anhl
a:"r
ighther
e"

Wemov
edoutodt
hewayandt
heymov
edcl
osert
othemoneybagandcr
oucheddown.

Man:
"openi
t,whati
fit
'sabomb"

Nhl
anhl
a:"ok"

Man2:
"Nosheshoul
dopeni
t"

Theyl
ookedatme.IgaveNhl
anhl
amycl
utchandwentdownandopenedt
hebagandt
ookout
thest
acksandgav
eitt
ohim.

Man:
"mmmhni
ce"

Nhl
anhl
a:"f
orgi
ven?"

Man2:
"Noty
et"

Hel
ookedatme.

Man2:
"adaywi
thanAf
ri
canQueent
heni
twi
l
lbef
orgi
ven"
Man3:
"yes"

Theychuckl
e.Il
ookedatNhl
anhl
a

Nhl
anhl
a:"t
hendeal
isof
f"

Man:
"Fi
ne"

Theypoi
ntedgunsatus.

Me:
"Adaynotni
ght"

Man2:
"Iwashopi
ngf
orni
ghtt
oo"

Hesmi
rked.

Me:
"Yourwor
dnotmi
ne.Onl
yaday"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Ndal
o"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lhandl
ethi
s"

Man2:
"comePr
incessa"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Not
hingshoul
dhappent
oher
."

Man2:
"Iwi
l
lhandl
eherwi
thcar
e"

Hesmi
rkedandpul
l
edmef
rom Nhl
anhl
a.Il
ookedathi
m.

Man:
"Nowl
eav
eus"

Imout
hed."Iwi
l
lbeok"henodded.Iwi
l
ldoany
thi
ngt
opr
otectt
hosear
oundme.They
wal
kedout

Man2:
"Wewi
l
lhav
easpl
endi
dti
me"

Il
ookedathim ast
heysatmedownont
hei
rtabl
e.Iwasner
vousbuthadt
oputagoodf
rontt
o
getoutofher
e.

★SI
YANDA★

Me:
"sowewi
l
ljustl
eav
eher?"
Nhl
anhl
a:"wehav
enochoi
ce"

I
ngat
hi:
"whati
ftheyshi
pof
fwi
thher?
"

Me:
"yeah"

Nhl
anhl
a:"wewi
l
lfi
ndher
.Don'
twor
ry,
Ndal
ocanhandl
eher
sel
f"

I
ngat
hi:
"Ify
ousayso"

Me:
"Ifany
thi
nghappenst
oher.
..
."

Nhl
anhl
a:"Not
hingwi
l
lhappen"

Il
ookedathi
m.IknowNdal
ocanhandl
eher
sel
fbutt
hisi
sanot
herbr
eedwear
etal
ki
ngabout
.

★ZAMI
LE★

Iwaswal
ki
ngontheroad.Carscanbehear
dfr
om ei
thersi
deofmyearsy etIcan'
tseeany
thi
ng
,onl
yhi
sscenti
snearmedi r
ecti
ngmeinwhatev
erdir
ecti
onIshoul
dtake.

Me:
"Andi
l
eIwi
l
ltr
ip"

Andi
l
e:"wai
tabi
t.Iwanty
out
otakeasmal
lst
ep"

Idi
djustt
hat.

Me:
"whycan'
tIseet
his?"

Andi
l
e:"Youwi
l
l"

Isi
gh.Honest
lyhei
sthemostAmazi
ngboy
fri
end,
bei
ngwi
thhi
mrubbedmeof
finagoodway
.

Andi
l
e:"Ar
eyour
eady?"

Me:
"yesIam "

Her
emov
edt
hebl
i
ndf
oldandIcl
osedmymout
handsmi
l
ed,
tur
nedandt
henhuggedhi
m.

Me:
"Iam sopr
oudofy
ou"

Andi
l
e:"I
t'
sjustast
art"

Me:
"Agr
eatone"
Hesmi
l
es.

Andi
l
e:"come"

Wemadeourwayi nsi
detheyar
d.I
t'
sniceanneat.Heunlockedt hedoorandwegoti n.Itwasa
greatupgr
adef
rom t
heoneroom t
othi
swonderfulhouse.Itsnotlargebutit
'sbiggerthanthe
spacehewasin.Heshowedmearoundanditwaswonder ful.If
elthappyforhim.

Andi
l
e:"whatdoy
out
hink?
"

Me:
"It
hinkapumpedswi
mmi
ngpool
wil
lfi
tri
ghti
n"

Hechuckl
ed.I
t'
sa5r
oomedhouse.2bedr
ooms,
Kit
chen,
li
vi
ngar
eaandBat
hroom.

Andi
l
e:"nowIcanbr
ingy
ouov
erwi
thnohassl
e"

Me:
"wenev
erhassl
edi
nthebegi
ning"

Andi
l
e:"Iknow"

Iki
ssedhi
sli
psandhehel
dmyst
omachandIgi
ggl
ed.

Me:
"don'
tbeexci
ted."

Andi
l
e:"wesol
d4000copi
est
hismont
hal
one"

Me:
"wow."

Iam r
eal
l
ypr
oudofhi
m.

Andi
l
e:"t
hanky
ouf
orst
icki
ngar
ound"

Me:
"yourwor
thst
ayi
ngf
or"

Heki
ssedmycheekandputhi
shandsonmyst
omachandIdi
dthesame.

Andi
l
e:"t
hanky
ou."

Ther
ewassi
l
ence.

Andi
l
e:"i
wantt
ocomet
oyourhouse"

Me:
"And?
"

Andi
l
e:"t
akey
ou"

Me:
"conf
used"

Hechuckl
ed.
Andi
l
e:"Iwantaf
ami
l
ywi
thy
ou"

Me:
"Uhm Idon'
tknowwhatt
osay"

Andi
l
e:"
Sayy
espl
ease,
becauseIam notpr
epar
edt
otaket
her
ingIgotback"

Il
aughedandt
urnedt
ohi
m.

Andi
l
e:"Zama"

Inoddedandheki
ssedmyl
i
ps.

Andi
l
e:"Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
oumor
e"

★SI
ZA★

ICoul
dn'tst
opscr
oll
i
ngthr
ought
heimagesdi
spl
ayedonthewhol
eint
ernet
.Iam bei
ng
quest
ionedwher
eam I?Whoist
hisnewwomaninhisl
i
feandIknowit
'sbeenafewdaysbut
j
ust..
..

Kamo:
"hey"

Me:
"hi
"

Kamo:
"Iam sor
ry"

It
urnedt
oherandherst
omachwasgr
owi
ngbi
g.

Me:
"it
'sok"

Iputmyphonedown.Isi
ghed.Iwishwedi
dn'
tgetourphonesback,
Itakei
tandcal
lhi
m and
i
tringsaf
ewtimesbef
oreit
'sanswer
ed.

"
Hel
l
o"

Sheanswer
s.

Me:
"Hi
snePl
easegi
veAi
zahi
sphone"

Sheissi
l
entthenhangsup. IlookatmyphoneandKamol
ooksatmeandt
akessausagesand
put
sthem i
nthemicrowave.Icall
agai
n.I
t'
sanswered.
Ai
za:
"Si
za"

Me:
"Hi
"

Ai
za:
"Imi
ssy
ou"

Me:
"yeah,
Iwi
l
lbebackf
oraf
ewday
s.Cany
oupl
easehol
dashar
ehol
der
smeet
ing"

Ai
za:
"why?"

Me:
"thebusi
nessneedsmyhel
pri
ght?"

Ai
za:
"of
cause"

Me:
"thenseti
tuppl
ease"

Ai
za:
"Iwi
l
l"

Me:
"thanks"

Ihungup.

Kamo:
"Weshoul
dgobuyaci
dsowecanbur
nthem bot
hbet
weent
hesheet
s."

"Somet
hingIshoul
dhav
edonet
oyou"

Li
ndi
wal
ksi
n.Imakeanot
hercal
ltoThabani
andheanswer
s.

Thabani
:"hel
l
o"

Me:
"hi
,Thabani
it'
sSi
za"

Thabani
:"Idon'
tknowy
ouany
mor
e"

Ichuckl
ed.

Me:
"met
oo.Cany
ouhookmeupt
oyourl
awy
erf
ri
end"

Thabani
:"Uhm ok,
Iwi
l
lsendhi
snumber"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Thabani
:"mypl
easur
e"

Ihungup.

Li
ndi
:"at
leastIwon'
tbet
heonl
yonewhowasl
eftf
or"

Kamo:
"letmego"
Li
ndi
cli
ckedhert
ongueasshewal
kedout
.

Li
ndi
:"t
hatbabyi
snoti
ngat
hi'
sIknow"

Ihav
emyownpr
obl
emst
othi
nkofher
.Thedooropensandt
heguy
swal
kinwi
thoutNdal
o.

Nhl
anhl
a:"hi
"

Wegr
eetbackandSi
yandacomesandst
andsnextt
ome.

Si
yanda:
"Howar
eyou?"

Me:
"Iam good"

Heki
ssesmycheek,
ingat
higoest
osear
chf
orKamoandt
her
estl
eav
easwel
l
.

Me:
"yourper
fume,
didy
ouchangei
t?"

Si
yanda:
"No"

Me:
"it
'si
ntoxi
cat
ingmei
nabadway
."

Si
yanda:
"It
snotbad"

If
eltnauseat
edandst
oodupandwentt
othebi
nandv
omi
ted.

Si
yanda:
"ar
eyouok?"

Me:
"yes.I
t'
sjusty
ourper
fumei
ntoxi
cat
emynosebadl
y"

Si
yanda:
"Iwi
l
lchangei
t"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Henar
rowedhi
sey
esandl
ookedatme.

★KAMOGELO★

"
5,6,
7,
8..
.comewor
kthesweatof
f"

Thei
nst
ruct
edont
het
vsay
s.

I
ngat
hi:
"youar
ewor
kingnosweat"
Iputmybowel
down.

Me:
"Iam wat
chi
ng"

I
ngat
hi:
"Howi
smychampi
on?
"

Me:
"behav
ing"

Heput
shi
shandonmyst
omach.

I
ngat
hi:
"heshoul
dbehav
eal
lthet
ime"

Me:
"yep,
Idon'
tfeel
okwi
thl
i
ndi
her
enoof
fense"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iwi
l
lsor
titout"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Heper
kedmyl
i
ps.

★NDALO★

Welef
ttherest
urantwi
tht
heguyandhet
ookmet
oacasi
nonearby
.Iwasagi
tat
edandr
eady
t
oleaveany
timesoon.

Guy:
"Don'
tbener
vous"

Me:
"Iam not"

Hechuckl
edandsmi
l
ed

Guy:
"Val
ent
ino"

Me:
";
mmmh"

Guy:
"youar
eahar
dbut"

Me:
"thi
sisbusi
nessnotpl
easur
e"

Het
akeshi
sdr
inkandgul
psi
t.

Guy:
"let
'smakei
tpl
easur
abl
e"

Igav
ehi
m ast
are.
Guy:
"Iam agoodguy
.Notl
i
keot
herguy
s.Justwant
edt
ospendt
imewi
thaSout
hAf
ri
can
woman"

Me:
"fi
ndone.Iam notav
ail
abl
e"

Guy:
"Ir
especty
ourmar
ri
age.Justf
ri
ends"

Ist
art
edt
oeaseabi
twhenhesai
dthat
.

Me:
"ok"

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT35

★SNE★

Iwasner
v ousandscared.Sheheardmyv
oice,
howdoessheknow?Doessheev
enknowabout
usoram Ijustst
ressi
ngfornot
hing.

Ai
za:
"Cal
m down"

Me:
"Shehear
dme.She.
..
."

Ai
za:
"Cal
m down.Wehav
eal
i
e.Shewon'
tknow."

Inod.Heki
ssesmyl
i
ps.

Ai
za:
"Mom i
scomi
ngt
oni
ght"

Me:
"Oh"
Ai
za:
"Iwoul
dli
kef
orhert
omeety
ou"

Me:
"why?"

Ai
za:
"Iwantt
o"

Me:
"Ai
za"

Ai
za:
"justf
ordi
nner
.",

Isi
gh.

Me:
"Ok."

Igotof
fthebed.

Me:
"letmegomakesomebr
eakf
astandpr
epar
eyouf
orwor
k"

Ai
za:
"Ok"

Iwenttothebat hroom t
obrushmyt eethandwashmyf acebef
oregoingtoprepar
ehi mfor
work.Ijusthopehi swif
edoesn'tgetanyideas,Idon'
twanttobebeatupf orsomething.Itake
outsomei ngredient
sandstartwit
hbreakfast.If
ini
shedmakingbreakf
astandwentt oputiton
thedini
ngt ableandhecomesdownj ustont i
me.

Ai
za:
"Thanky
ou"

Heki
ssesmycheekandIsmi
l
e.

Ai
za:
"Cany
ouopent
hebi
gTV,
Iwantt
ocat
chsomenews"

Me:
"Sur
e"

Hesi
tsdown.

Ai
za:
"Looksappet
izi
ng"

Ismiledandwenttoopent
het
vandt
henews.Webot
hwat
chedi
tandcur
rentsi
tuat
ions
displ
ayedandrepor
ted.

Ai
za:
"mmmh"

Il
ookedathim .Thedoorbel
lrangandIwentt
oopenandt
hesecur
it
yguywashol
dinganews
paper
.Ithankedhim andhewalkedoff
.

Ai
za:
"whoi
sit?"

Me:
"newspaper
"
Iopenedi
tupandapict
ureofmyexwasont hefr
ontpage.Iwasshocked.Hewroteabook
that
'smaki
nghi
m al
otofmoney.Hefi
nishedit
?Andpeoplebuyhi
swor k?Helookshappyas
well
..

Me:
"Ineedmyphone"

Il
eftthenewspapernextt oAizaandIwentupt hest air
sandgoti nthebedroom andtookmy
phoneandsatdownandsear chedf orhi
m ont hei nternet.Heappear edsoeasily.They
di
splayedhi ssocialmediaaswel landIwentoni tandcheckedhi m out,heevenhassoci al
networksnow?Whoi she?Andi lewhocoul dn'taffor dtogetsimplepant sandshoesfor
hi
msel f,letaloneaphonet hatcant akepictures.Myst omacht urnedjustbyseeinghi
m.He
l
ooksmor ehandsomet hanhewasbef ore.Ev enAi zadoesn'tseeany t
hinghereandabi tof
weightgai n.Notmuchbutper fect.Iscrolledthroughhi spi
cturesandIsawawomanwi t hhi
m
,her ecent l
yjustpost
editandshei swearingar i
ng.

"
All
goodt
hingscomet
othosewhowai
t,Thanky
ouf
orapat
ientwomanl
i
key
ou"

Helookedsoinl
oveandthi
swomantooaswel l
.Iseehishandonherstomachandshei
s
expect
ingandif
eell
i
kevomiti
ngandcr
ying.Idi
aledAunty
'snumberandsheanswer
ed.Tear
s
l
eftmyey es.

Aunt
y:"Sne"

Me:
"Aunt
y,Uy
ashadauAndi
l
e(Andi
l
eisget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed)
"

Aunt
y:"wi
thwhat?"

Me:
"hi
sbooki
ssuccessf
ulf
orhi
m.Hehasmoneynow"

Aunt
y:"y
oul
i
e"

Isobbed.Ilov
edhi
m,Il
ovedhi
m al
ot.Thewayhewoul
dtr
eaty
oumadey
oul
ovehi
m
eff
ortl
essl
y.

Me:
"theyar
egonnahav
eababy"

Aunt
y:"f
ocusont
heoney
ouhav
enow"

Me:
"oh,
"

Aunt
y:"l
eav
ethatboy
.Moneywi
l
lrunoutandhewi
l
lbepooragai
n.St
ickt
othi
sone"

Shewasr
ight
.Iwi
pemyt
ear
s.

Me:
"yes.Thanky
ou"

Aunt
y:"nowst
opcr
ying"
Inoddedandshehungup.Ibr
eat
hedinandoutandranmyfinger
sonhi
sfaceont
hescr
een.
Helookssohappy,ver
yhappywi
thoutmeinhi
slif
e. Isi
ghed.

★SI
ZA★

Hegav
emewat
erandIsatupanddr
anksome.Igav
ehi
mthegl
assandl
aidbackdown.

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Si
yanda:
"ar
eyouf
eel
i
ngok?
"

Inoddedandheki
ssedmycheekandgoti
nbed.

Me:
"Ihav
eaf
ewt
hingst
osor
toutbackhome"

Si
yanda:
"li
ke?"

Me:
"thedi
vor
ce"

Hel
ookedatme.

Si
yanda:
"ithast
obesomet
hingy
out
rul
ywant"

Me:
"yeahi
tis."

Si
yanda:
"thenIsuppor
tyou.Whendoy
ouwantt
oleav
e?"

Me:
"Idon'
tknow.Soonmay
be"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Si
yanda:
"ok,
Iwi
l
lor
gani
sey
oudepar
tur
ewheny
ouar
eready"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Hepul
l
edmet
olayonhi
schest
.

Si
yanda:
"whenwasy
ourper
iod?"

Me:
"lastweeki
thi
nk,
can'
trememberpr
oper
ly.
"

Si
yanda:
"mmmh"

Me:
"what?"
Si
yanda:
"not
hing."

Il
ookathi
m bef
oreIcl
osemyey
es.

★ZAMI
LE★

Iwasout
sideathomedoi
ngsomelaundr
ywhenmom cameoutoft
hehouseandcamet
ome
l
ooki
ngdownonme.It urnedt
oher.

Me:
"Mah?
"

Mom :
"not
hing,
Iam j
ustgl
adt
hisboyi
smar
ryi
ngy
ouandnotl
eav
ingy
ouwi
thababy"

Me:
"Andi
l
ewoul
dnev
er.Hei
snott
hatki
ndofaper
son."

Mom:
"mmmhy
oul
eftear
lyt
oday"

Me:
"yes.Ihadpl
acest
ogo"

Thegat
eopenedandMaZumawal
kedi
n.Mom hadaf
rownonherf
ace.

Mom :
"whatar
eyoudoi
ngi
nmyy
ard!
?"

MaZuma:
"Ij
usthav
eamessagef
orZami
l
e"

Mom :
"out
!"

MaZuma:
"yourhappi
nessl
i
esi
nyouandy
oursi
ster
'shands"

Shewal
kedof
f.Iswal
l
owed,
whydoesSi
zahav
etobei
nvol
ved.?

★NDALO★

It
ookasi
pof
fmybev
eragewhi
l
elooki
ngar
oundandt
appi
ngonmybag.

"
Mor
edr
ink?"

Il
ookathi
m.
Me:
"not
hanky
ou,
Idon'
twantt
obedr
unk"

Henods.

Me:
"whenam Il
eav
ing?
"

Iask.

Hi
m:"i
nanhour"

Inodandcar
ryonsi
ppi
ng.At
leastal
loft
hiswi
l
lbeov
er,
andi
twasn'
tbadr
eal
l
y.

★KAMOGELO★

I
ngat
hi:
"tr
ytor
elaxandbr
eat
hei
n"

Icl
osedmyey
esandhemov
edhi
shandsov
ermybel
l
yashewassi
tt
ingbehi
ndme.

I
ngat
hi:
"Br
eat
heout
"

Idi
dsl
owl
ytr
yingt
orel
ax,
thi
spl
aceal
onegi
vesmest
ress.Heki
ssesmyneck.

I
ngat
hi:
"br
eat
hei
n"

Idi
djustt
hat
.

I
ngat
hi:
"br
eat
heout"

Il
etoutabr
eat
h.Heki
ssesmyneckni
bbl
i
ngoni
twhi
l
erunni
nghi
shandsdownmybel
l
ytomy
ti
ght
s.

Me:
"Ingat
hi"

Iwasget
ti
ngwetj
ustbyhi
mtouchi
ngmeandki
ssi
ngme.

I
ngat
hi:
"Il
ovey
ouKamogel
o"

Iwasbey
ondt
hewor
dshocked.Idi
dn'
tknowhowt
orespondt
othat,
Ijustkeptmysi
l
ence.

I
ngat
hi:
"Iwon'
thar
myou"

Inoddedf
orIdon'
tknowwhatr
eason.

.
.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT36

★NDALO★

Timetoleavet
hisplacecameandIwasv er
yhappyaboutthat
.NowIcangohomeanddon' t
everi
nvolvemysel
fwi t
htheColumbians.Iputmygl assdownasIseeNhl anhl
aappr
oachi
ng
usandIstandupandVal enti
noisstil
lsippi
nghi
sdri
nk, Idon'
tseether
easonwhyIwasasked
tobeherebutIam gladthatherespectedmeandmymar ri
ageenough.

Nhl
anhl
a:"Ihopey
oudi
dnot
hingt
oher"

Val
ent
ino:
"shecanv
ouchf
ort
hat
.Idi
dn'
tdoany
thi
ng"

Nhl
anhl
alookedatme.

Val
ent
ino:
"Ti
l
lwemeetagai
nfr
iend"

Hesmi
rks.

Nhl
anhl
a:"l
et'
sleav
e"

HewalksoffandIfol
l
owhi m aft
ert
hat.Wegetoutoft
heLoungeandwegot
ohi
scarandwe
hopei
nsideandit
'ssi
lent
.Hei sl
ooki
ngatme.

Me:
"what?"

Nhl
anhl
a:"ar
eyousur
ehedi
dnot
hing?"

Me:
"yes.Wewer
ejustdr
inki
ngi
nsi
l
ence"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Ok"
Me:
"Il
ovey
ou,
youknowt
hat"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Idot
oo"

Inoddedashest
art
edt
hecaranddr
oveof
f.

★SNE★

Ihavepr eparedmy sel

ffort
onight'
sdinner,bathedandchosesomet hingsimpl ebuty etto
i
mpr essAi za'smot her
.Wi thhiswifeawayIam sl owl
ybutsurel
ygoingt odomi natehisheart
andliveast ress-f
reelif
e.Hewal ksinandl ooksatmef rom t
hedoort othemi rror.Iturntohim
andhecomesi nclosertome.Heki ssesmycheekandt henperksmyl i
ps.Oht hesonIwi l
l
haveforhi m.Icanal r
eadyhearthelit
tl
epittapatt
as.Icanalr
eadyseemy selfdrivi
ngt heki
dsto
school whilehegoest owor k.Icanseeev eryt
hingandmybeaut i
ful
r i
ngof cause, weddingofa
century.Ev eryt
hing.

Ai
za:
"Shei
sdownst
air
s"

Me:
"Iam ner
vous"

Ai
za:
"don'
tbe"

Heki
ssesmyl
i
psandIr
etur
ntheki
ss.Heholdsmyhipsandgoest
osqueezemybut
tabi
t
maki
ngmemoani
nhismouth. Webreakt
hekissaf
tert
hat.

Ai
za:
"comel
et'
sgo"

Inoddedashetookmyhandandwewal koutofthebedroom.Wegett othestai

rsandtrai
l
downthem ti
l
ltheend.Hismotheri
ssippi
ngonagl assofwine,wear
ingelegant
lyandherhair
andnail
sareonpoint.Herbagi
sexpensiv
eLeatherbythelooks,
shej
ustlooksmagnifi
cent.

Ai
za:
"Mah"

Shet
urnst
omeandIseeaf
rown,
Iswal
l
ow.

Ai
za:
"Thi
sIsSnet
hemba"

Hi
smom :
"wher
eisSi
za?"

Ai
za:
"(cl
eart
hroat)shei
sawayabi
t"

Hi
smom :
"Iknewt
hatt
hingi
sagol
ddi
gger
.!"
Shehi
ssesandt
her
eissi
l
ence.

Hi
smom :
"Whoar
eyouagai
n?"

Me:
"Snet
hemba"

Shest
andsupandIam i
nti
midat
ed.Shecomest
omeandgi
vesmeahugwhi
chr
elaxesme.

Her
:"Ni
cet
omeety
ou.Youl
ookwonder
ful
"

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

Ai
za:
"Wecangoandhav
est
art
ersj
ustt
oknoweachot
her
."

Her:
"Iam sel
l
ingmyshar
esandIam meet
ingt
hebuy
ert
omor
row"

Ai
za:
"Why?"

Hee:
"Iwantt
o"

Iguesst
heywi
l
lbet
alki
ngaboutbusi
nessher
e.Wewentt
osi
tdownatt
het
abl
ebef
orebei
ng
serv
ed.

★SI
ZA★

Iwokeupf eel
i
ngabi tti
redt
oday,Idon'
tknowwhatdr
ainedme.Isitt
hevomiti
ngorisi
tme
over
thi
nking? Idon'tknowbetweenthet
wo.Siy
andagetsoutoftheshowerandcomesout
l
ookingatme.Isi tupandhejuststar
edatme.

Me:
"what?"

Si
yanda:
"youl
ookdi
sor
ient
ed"

Me:
"Iam j
ustt
ir
ed"

Si
yanda:
"Oh,
li
edownt
hen"

Inoddedandl
aiddown.

Me:
"Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?"

Si
yanda:
"whydoy
out
hinkIam goi
ng?"

Me:
"Youwokeupear
ly"
Hechuckl
edandt
urnedandwentt
otaket
hebodyl
oti
onanddr
oppedt
het
owel
.Il
ookedathi
m.

Si
yanda:
"Onsomebusi
ness"

Me:
"whatbusi
ness?
"

Si
yanda:
"It
'sconf
ident
ial
"

Igotof
fthebedandwentt
othebat
hroom t
obr
ushmyt
eet
handwashmyf
ace.Iwal
kedout
andhewasstil
ll
oti
oni
ng.

Me:
"It
houghty
ouwoul
dbedone"

Si
yanda:
"Iwaswai
ti
ngf
ory
ou"

Me:
"forwhat?"

Si
yanda:
"comeher
e"

Iwentt
ohi
m anddi
vedi
nhi
sar
msandhehuggedme.Ibr
eat
hedi
nandout
.

Si
yanda:
"yougood?"

Inoddedbef
orebreaki
ngthehugandlookedathi
m.Heki ssedmeandIretur
nedthekissas
well,
hi
shandwentinsi
demypy jamapantsandhesqueezedmybuttcheekabitwhi
lekissi
ng
me. Iwasgetti
ngwetjustbythiski
ssandhimtouchi
ngme.

Si
yanda:
"Justaqui
ckonebabe"

Il
ookedathi
m andheki
ssedmyneck.Icoul
dn'
tresi
sthi
mfr
om t
hen.Iwant
edt
hisasmuchas
hedi
d.

Me:
"Ok"

Hisotherhandmovedfr
om mywai standwentt
okil
l mypyj
amapantsdownandhishandwent
tomyKi t
tenandheci
rcul
atedhisfi
ngeronmycli
tor
is.Igotoutofmypyj
amapantsandhe
pickedmeupandputmeont hecouchonmyknees.IheldonthecouchandIf
elthi
mthrusti
n
slowlywhil
eIbi
temytongue.

Si
yanda:
"youar
eok?"

Me:
"yesbaby"

Heheldmyt hi
ghsbef orehestar
tedmovi
ng,
thi
rst
ingindeepl
ywhi
ler
eachi
ngev erypartofme
asIfeelt
hispleasur
et hati
sconsumi
ng.Imoansoft
ly,j
ustasast
art
erbuti
tincreasesasthe
pl
easureincr
eases.

Si
yanda:
"FuckSi
za"
Her
eposi
ti
onshi
shandsandi
ncr
easeshi
spaceaf
tert
hat
.

Me:
"Mmmh"

Icl
osemyey
esconsumi
ngal
lthepl
easur
e.

Si
yanda:
"Il
ovey
ouSi
za"

Icoul
dn'
trepl
y.Mymout
hwasoccupi
edwi
tht
hesoundofmymoans.

Me:
"ahSi
yanda.!
"

★KAMOGELO★

Itr
iedt
oremovehislegbuti
tkeepsonbuggi
ngme.It'
shookedonminebutitdoesn'twantt
o
mov e,
hisj
unkispokingmybackaswellwonder
ingi
fhei
shavingawetdream atthatmoment.
Ipi
nchhist
highandhegroanswakingup.

I
ngat
hi:
"what
'swr
ongKamogel
o?"

Me:
"yourl
eg,
it'
sheav
y"

I
ngat
hi:
"youpi
nchedmef
ort
hat?"

Me:
"Iam t
ir
edofbei
ngher
e"

I
ngat
hi:
"It
hinkwear
eleav
ingsoon"

Me:
"real
l
y?"

Henodded.

Me:
"oht
hanky
ou,
Iam t
ir
edoft
hispl
ace"

I
ngat
hi:
"Ij
ustneedt
ofi
ndanewpl
acef
orust
hengety
ourmot
her"

Me:
"oh"

Hewasaboutt
ocl
osehi
sey
esbutl
ookedatme.

I
ngat
hi:
"whenIspeakabouty
ourmot
hery
ouwor
ryme"

Me:
"no,
ther
eisnot
hingt
owor
ryabout"
I
ngat
hi:
"ar
eyousur
e?"

Me:
"yes,
nowgohav
eawetdr
eam y
ouwer
ehav
ing"

I
ngat
hi:
"whydoy
out
hinkIwashav
ingawetdr
eam ?"

Ipoi
ntedathi
shar
dshaf
tandhel
aughed.

I
ngat
hi:
"ok.Letmesl
eep."

Hecl
osedhiseyesandIgotonhi
m andi
nser
tedmysel
f.Iwaswetinst
ant
ly.Ist
art
edmov
ing
onhi
m spel
l
ingcoconutwit
hmywaistmovementi
nvol
vedandheheldi
tandopenedhi
seyes.

I
ngat
hi:
"fuckKamoIam t
ryi
ngt
osl
eep"

Me:
"st
opdr
eami
ng.Iam her
e"

Il
eanedandki
ssedhi
sli
psandher
etur
nedi
t.

I
ngat
hi:
"fuck!"

★NDALO★

Nhl
anhl
a:"ev
ery
thi
ngi
scl
ear
.Nowt
heFor
cecanst
ri
keatanyt
ime"

Me:
"that
'sgood"

Iwi
shv
alent
inocansomehowescapet
hat
.Hei
sagoodguy.

Nhl
anhl
a:"wewi
l
lgobackhomebyt
omor
row"

Ihuggedhi
m.

Me:
"Iam sohappyt
oheart
hat"

Nhl
anhl
a:"(per
ksmycheek)
yeah,
Idon'
thav
epeaceher
e."

Me:
"real
l
y"

Wel
augh.

Nhl
anhl
a:"Ican'
tev
enhav
eyouundert
hedi
nni
ngr
oom t
abl
e."

Ihi
thi
schest
.
Me:
"Nhl
anhl
aRhadebe!St
opbei
ngdi
rt
ymi
nded"

Nhl
anhl
a:"what?"

Heouthi
sphonedownandpul
l
edmet
ohi
m.

Nhl
anhl
a:"y
ouknowy
oul
i
kei
tMr
sRhadebe"

Me:
"MeRhadebemmmh"

Hechuckl
ed.Iam gl
adwear
egoi
ngbackhomeagai
n.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT37

★SI
YANDA★

Il
ookedatmywat chkeepi
ngupwiththeti
me.Shei sonemi nut
elateforourmeeti
ngandIam
qui
etannoy
ed.Iseeherwal ki
nsi
detherest
urantandtakesoffhershadesandlooksaround
bef
oremakingherwaytowardsmeandshesi t
sdownput ti
nghertinybagonthetable.She
l
ooksatme.

Her:
"goodl
ooki
ngy
oungman"

Ickenchmyj
awsandshebr
ingsf
orwar
dherdr
umst
ickhand.

Her:
"Angel
aBi
yase"

Me:
"Iknow"

Her:
"Ri
ght,
youar
eint
erest
edi
nbuy
ingmyshar
es?"
Me:
"yes.Whatper
cent
agedoy
ouhav
e?"

Her:
"Mysonhas60%whi
l
eIhav
e15%"

Me:
"youandy
oursonar
ethemaj
ori
tyshar
ehol
der
s?"

Her:"yes.Hiswif
ehasnott
oomuchsayasshehas5%.Don'
tev
enknowwhatmyhusbandwas
t
hinkingofleav
ingthaty
oherbutshedoesn'
tknow."

Me:
"Mmmh,
namey
ourpr
ice?"

Asmi
l
ecr
eepsuponherf
ace.

Her:
"R3mi
l
li
on"

Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
"Gooddoi
ngbusi
nesswi
thy
ou"

Her:
"Iam l
ooki
ngf
orwar
dtoseei
ngy
ouagai
n"

Me:
"Idoubti
twi
l
lbepl
easant
."

Shelooksatme.Itakeoutacontractf
rom mybr
iefcaseandputi
tont
het
abl
eandgi
veher
twocopiesandapen.Shelooksatme.

Me:
"Forf
ormal
i
ties"

Shesi
gnsbot
hoft
hem andIgi
vehert
hesecondonet
okeep.

Me:
"youcanl
ety
ourl
awy
err
unt
hroughi
t"

Her:
"Iwi
l
l"

Me:
"Expectt
hemoneyi
nanhour"

Her:
"Sur
e.Thanks"

Istandupandshel
ooksatme.If i
xmysuitbef
orewalki
ngout,
thi
sti
eisnotf
orme. Itakei
t
offassoonasIam out
sideandunbut
tonmyshir
t.It
akemyphoneandcallMahandshe
answers.

Mom :
"Si
yandakant
ini
ght
sNi
ni?(Si
yandawhenar
eyoucomi
ngback?)
"

Me:
"ksasa,
ngi
cel
aungi
thol
elei
ndawoy
okuhl
ala(pl
easef
indapl
acef
orme)
"

Mom:
"what
'swr
ongher
e?"

Me:
"Ineedt
obeal
one"
Mom :
"ohkul
ungi
l
e(ohi
t'
sok)
"

Icanheart
hedi
sappoi
ntmenti
nherv
oice.Ican'
tl
iv
ewi
thherf
orev
er.

Me:
"sokhul
uma(wewi
l
ltal
k)"

Mom :
"Ok"

Ihangupandgeti
nthecaranddr
iveof
f.

★SI
ZA★

Thetensioninthishouseissomucht hatIcan'
tdealwi
thitanymore.Whenareweleavi
ng?I
heardtomorrowwear eleavi
ngandt hatj
ustmademehappy .Iam notgoi
ngt
oinfor
m Ai
za
aboutthat,Ij
ustwantt osurpr
isehi
m.Ij ustf
ini
shedeat
ingandwashedmydi shewhenLindi
walkedinthekitchen.

Li
ndi
:"wear
eal
lbei
ngcal
l
edont
othel
ounge"

Me:
"ok"

Iwipemyhandsandf
oll
owedaf
terher
.Isatdownont
hecouchandNhl
anhl
awast
heonewho
wil
lbeaddr
essi
ngus.

Nhl
anhl
a:"t
omor
rowwear
eal
ll
eav
ing,
ever
ythi
ngi
sokandcl
ear
ednow"

Nt
ando:
"ThankGod"

Li
ndi
:"y
oucansayt
hatagai
n"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Youcanal
lst
artbypacki
ng."

Kamo:
"Thanky
ouf
orpr
otect
ingus.Al
lofy
ou"

Theysmi
l
e.

Me:
"yest
hanky
ou."

Nhl
anhl
a:"pl
easur
e."

Ndal
o:"Hopewewon'
tbemeet
ingl
i
ket
hisev
eragai
n."

Kamo:
"agr
eed"
Me:
"Ov
erababyshowermay
be?"

Kamo:
"Babyshowerf
orwho?"

Ndal
o:"It
hinkIl
i
ket
hati
dea"

Kamo:
"Youar
etal
ki
ngaboutbabyshower
swi
thoutmyconsent"

Ndal
o:"i
twi
l
lbebeaut
if
uli
nDur
banhav
ingabeachv
iew"

Nhl
anhl
a:"t
hat
'sourhouse"

Ndal
o:"don'
tyouseeIam gi
vi
nghi
ntsv
ele"

Wel
augh.

I
ngat
hi:
"It
hinkababyshoweri
sneeded"

Kamo:
"Hai
boy
'al
lar
epl
ani
ngnj
e"

Wel
aughandLi
ndi
standsupandcl
i
ckshery
oungergoi
ngupt
hest
air
s.

Ndal
o:"l
etmegoandpack"

Weal
lagr
eeandst
andup.

★ZAMI
LE★

WhatMaZumasaidt
ome, Icoul
dn'tgetitoutofmyhead.Itwashaunti
ngmebitbybi
tatnight
.
Iwokeupandwasheadi
ngtoworkt odaybutlat
erondur
ingtheday.Iboi
ledsomewaterf
or
teaandwentont
osi
tdownanddrinki tatt
heliv
ingr
oom.Myphoner angandItooki
tthen
answeredi
t.

Me:
"hel
l
o"

Andi
l
e.:
"Babyar
eyouok?Youdon'
tsoundgood"

Me:
",y
esIam ok,
Ijustwokeup"

Andi
l
e:"Ok,
Igotsomet
hingf
orus"

Me:
"what?"

Andi
l
e:"f
ory
ouact
ual
l
y"
Me:
"Andi
l
etal
k"

Andi
l
e:"comeout"

Me:
"Andi
l
eit
'scol
d"

Andi
l
e:"pl
easebabyj
ustasecond"

Me:
"ok"

Ihungupandworemygownandt ookthekeysandwentt ounl

ock.Igotoutandcl
osedthe
doorandwenttohi
m.Hewasst andingoutsi
dethegatebyhiscar
.Yesheboughtacarafew
weeksback Ismil
edj
ustbyl
ooki
ngathim.WhenIf inall
ygottohi
m wehuggedeachother
andsharedasi
mpleper
k.

Andi
l
e:"howar
emyt
wof
avour
it
epeopl
edoi
ng?"

Me:
"Wel
l,y
ou?"

Andi
l
e:"Iam j
usthappyt
oseey
ou"

Me:
"whati
sitt
haty
ouwant
edmet
osee"

Heopenedhi
scardoorandt
ookoutsomepaper
s.

Andi
l
e:"Iboughta13bedr
oom house"

Me:
"Andi
l
ethat
'sexpensi
ve"

Andi
l
e:",
Iknowbuti
t'
snearauni
ver
sit
ycampus"
,

Me:
"whatar
eyougonnadowi
thi
t?"

Andi
l
e:"st
udentaccomodat
ionbaby,
itwi
l
lgener
atet
hemoneybackandmor
e."

Me:
"ohwow"

Andi
le:"wi
tht
hemoneyIgetf
rom mybooksandt
hethi
sideaIcanmay
best
artmyown
busi
nessyouknowandt
akecareofy
ouandourbabyandmoretocome"

Me:
"wow,
that
'samazi
ng"

Andi
l
e:"comel
et'
sgeti
nsi
de.I
t'
scol
d"

Ismi
l
eashepul
l
smet
othepassengersi
deandheki
ssesmyneck.

Andi
l
e:"Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"
Igoti
nsi
det
hecar
.

★SI
YANDA★

Iparkedt
hecarandhoppedoutofi
tandmademywayi nsi
deandever
yonewasupanddown,
Sizawas.Wi
thNdaloandKamo.Ilookedatherandwal
kedtowar
dsthem.

Me:
",l
adi
es"

Ndal
o:"
mmmhsesi
yamal
adi
esmanj
e(wear
eladi
esnow)
"

Theyl
augh.

Me:
"canIbor
rowSi
za?
"

Ndal
o:"asui
tsui
tey
ou"
,

Me:
"t
hanks"

Kamo:
"takeher"

Si
za:
"youar
esel
l
ingme?"

Theyl
aughandshet
urnst
ome.

Si
za:
"wecango"

Wewal
kupt
hest
air
stot
hebedr
oom andwegeti
nandIcl
oset
hedoor
.

Si
za:
"howdi
dyourbusi
nessgo?"

Me:
"wel
l
."

Si
za:
"ev
ery
thi
ngok?"

Me:
"comeher
e"

Shecamet
omeandIpul
l
edhert
omyl
ap.

Me:
"howdoy
ouf
eel
aboutmov
ingdownt
oDur
banwi
thme?"

Si
za:
"I.
..
..
wow,
Idon'
tknow"

Me:
"youknowIl
ovey
our
ight
?"
Si
za:
"yes"

Me:
"andy
ouknowt
hatIIwi
l
lnev
erhur
tyou"

Si
za:
"I.
..
I.
..
"

Me:
"lookatme"

Il
i
ftedherheadt
ome.

Me:
",Il
ovey
ouandIwi
l
lnev
erhur
tyou.Ev
er,
ifIdomymot
herwoul
dbeatmeup"

Shegi
ggl
ed.

Me:
"askNhl
anhl
awhensheal
mostchockedhi
m"

Si
za:
"Heusedt
obeatNdal
o?"

Me:"no,hehasneverl
aidhishandonher.
thef
ir
stti
mehemethershewasbrui
sedandbeat
upbysomeonesoMom assumedi t'
shi
m.Ev er
yti
meshewoul
dseehim, shewoul
ddo
somethi
ngti
l
lthebr
uisesfaded"

Si
za:
"aht
hat
'sashame.Howl
onghav
etheybeendat
ing?"

Me:
"mar
ri
edf
or7y
ear
s"

Si
za:
"nol
i
kebef
oret
hegotmar
ri
ed"

Me:"theydi
dn'tdate,whenNhlanhl
aandNdalokneweachot
her,
Ndal
owasmar
ri
edf
or6
year
sthendiv
or cedandNhlanhl
amar r
iedher"

Si
za:
"wow.Thei
rlov
eissweett
hough"

Me:
",y
eah"

Si
za:
"Iwi
l
lmov
ewi
thy
out
oDur
ban"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Iki
ssedherl
i
ps.

Me:
"nowpl
easet
aket
hese"

It
ookoutt
wost
icksf
rom mypant
sandshel
ookedatme.

Si
za:
"Si
yanda"

Me:
"Si
zakel
e"
Si
za:
"Iam onacont
racept
ive"

Me:
"Iknow.Justt
oeasemymi
nd"

Si
za:
"on?"

Me:
"thi
nki
ngt
haty
ouar
epr
egnant"
,

Si
za:
"Iam not"

Me:
"ok,
doi
tthenSi
za"

Shelookedatmethengotoffmeandwentt
othebathroom.Sheclosedt
hedoorandIt
ookof
f
myblazerandwai
tedforher
.Shedi
dn'
tcomeoutforsometime.Istoodupandwentt
oknock
onthedoor.

Me:
"baby"

Shesni
ff
ed.

Si
za:
"mmmh?
"

Me:
"comeout"

Ihear
dhersni
ffagai
nandsheopenedt
hedoorandcameout
.Shewi
pedhert
ear
s.

Me:
"Iam sor
ry"

Ihuggedherandshesobbedonmychest
.

Si
za:
"Iam pr
egnant"

If
roze.Sher
emov
edher
sel
ffr
om meandgav
emet
hest
icksandt
wol
i
neswer
ether
e.

Me:
"wear
epr
egnant?
"

Shenodded.Ihel
dherandshehel
donme.Too.Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
osayatt
hisMoment
.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~
I
NSERT38(shor
tinser
t)

Idi
dn'tknowhowtofeel
oractatt
hemomentbutsoonj
oyjustov
eecl
oudedmyheart
.The
desi
reandwanttohaveababyhasfi
nal
l
ycame.Icrymoreonhischestandi
t'
sget
ti
ngwet.

Si
yanda:
"babe"

Me:
"Iam scar
ed"

Fearcl
oudsmet
hist
imeandhebr
ushesmyback.

Si
yanda:
"don'
tbeok?Il
ovey
ou"

Inodded

Si
yanda:
"Ngi
thengi
yakut
handa(Isai
dlov
eyou)
"

Hewi
pesmyt
ear
sandper
ksmyl
i
ps.

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Si
yanda:
"if
eell
i
kecal
l
ingmymom "

Il
aughedandhehuggedme.

Si
yanda:
"Ipr
omi
sey
ouwon'
tregr
etev
erchoosi
ngmei
nyourl
i
fe"

Me:
"met
oo"

Hehel
dmet
ight
ly.

Si
yanda:
"youar
egoi
ngt
oDur
banwi
thme?"

Me:
"yes,
aft
erIhav
eset
tl
edmydi
vor
ce"

Si
yanda:
"whydon'
tyoubuyapor
ti
onoft
hecompanywi
thy
ourmoney"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Si
yanda:
"it
'sagr
eati
nvest
ment
.Af
ixedoneandy
oucangr
owi
tmay
be."

Me:
"ami
l
li
oncanbutmay
be0,
5%"

Si
yanda:
"wecangetmor
eandi
wil
lhel
pyoubuyi
t

Mw:
"Si
yanda"
Si
yanda:
"It
'sf
ory
ou.Iam j
usthel
pingout"

Wher
ehashebeenal
lofmyl
i
fe?

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Ihughi
m.

★SNE★

Iwal
kedi
nthebedr
oom andhewasi
nbed.Hehasbeensi
ncey
est
erday
.

Me:
"ar
eyouok?"

Het
urnst
ome.

Ai
za:
"No"

Me:
"what
'swr
ong?"

Aiza:"(si
gh)Imi
ghtl
oosemyf
ather
'scompanyi
fSi
zadoesn'
thel
pmeandmom j
ustsol
dher
shares."

Me:
"askherf
ort
hemoneyt
ohel
p"

Myhear
twasski
ppi
ng.

Ai
za:
"Shewon'
tgi
vei
ttome.Iknowher
."

Me:
"whatnow?"

Ai
za:
"Idon'
tknow"

Me:
"takeal
oan"

Ai
za:
"Idon'
twantt
otakeal
oanf
rom abankt
hatIknowIwoul
dn'
tbeabl
etopay
."

Me:
"Oh"

Ai
za:
"Ihav
etosel
lst
uff"

Me:
"no"

Henoddedandsi
ghed.
Ai
za:
"t
hisi
shar
d"

Thi
sishar
d.Howar
ewegonnasur
viv
e.Howam Igonnasur
viv
e?

★KAMOGELO★

Ipul
ledmysuit
casedownthestai
rsandI
ngat
hit
ooki
tbef
orehel
pingmedownt
her
estoft
he
stai
rs.Wedeci
dedtol
eaveear
ly.

Li
ndi
:
"wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?"

I
ngat
hii
gnor
edher
.

Me:
"Home"

I
ngat
hi:
"Wewi
l
lhav
etogot
oLi
mpopot
omor
row"

Me:
"Sur
e"

Li
ndi
:"t
odowhat
?"

Si
zacamedownt
hest
air
swi
thSi
yanda.Herf
acewasr
ed.

Me:
"ar
eyouok?"

Si
za:
"yes.Youar
eleav
ing?"

Me:
"yes"

Si
za:
"let
'sexchangenumber
s"

Weexchangednumber
sandhugged.

Si
za:
"west
il
lgonnahav
ethatbabyshower
"

Ndal
o:"Mostdef
ini
tel
y"

Shegotdown.Wehugged.

Me:
"t
hanky
ouf
ort
hescar
yst
ay"

Shel
aughed.

Ndal
o:"pl
easur
ebabes"
Wehuggedoncemor
e.

I
ngat
hi:
"let
'sgo.I
t'
sdar
know."

Nhl
anhl
a:"becar
eful
"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iwi
l
lbe"

Het
ookmyhand.

I
ngat
hi:
"comeon"

Wewal
koutwi
tht
hem behi
ndus.Iwav
edandgoy
.Int
hecarbef
orehedi
dandt
heywat
chus.

I
ngat
hi:
"rel
axnot
hingwi
l
lhappenok?"

Inodded.Hest
art
edt
hecarandIbr
eat
hedout

★NDALO★

ev
ery
onewasl eavi
ng, ImissDurbansomuch.Il i
kei
thereyesbutDurbanImisseditsomuch.
It
ookmyki dsandbuckledthem upattheback.Iwasinashortandt
-shir
t.Nhlanhl
acameout
wi
ththei
rbags.Siyandasaidhewi l
lcat
chupwi t
husinDurbanandseemsl i
keheiscoming
wi
thhisMistr
ess.

Me:
"Iam wor
ri
edaboutSi
yanda."

Nhl
anhl
apl
acest
hebagsandput
sthem att
heback.

Nhl
anhl
a:"don'
tbe,
It'
sgenui
ne"

Mw:
"andhowi
sthat?"

Hecl
osedt
heboot
.

Nhl
anhl
a:"don'
tsayy
ouhear
ditf
rom mebutshei
sexpect
inghi
schi
l
d"

Me:
"what?"

Nhl
anhl
a:"cal
m downNdal
o"

Me:
"Nhl
anhl
ayouknowy
ouar
ebot
hgambl
i
ngwi
thherl
i
feher
e!"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Cal
m down"
Me:
"NoNhl
anhl
aIcan'
t,
shecan'
tgot
hroughal
lthoset
hings.Shei
sfr
agi
l
e"

Nhl
anhl
a:"wewi
l
ltoughenherupt
hen"

Ishookmyheadandgoti
nthecar
.

Nhl
anhl
a:"Ndal
o!"

Ii
gnor
edhi
m andl
ookedupf
ront
.Hegoti
nandsi
ghed.

Nhl
anhl
a:"cal
m down."

Me:
"don'
tsayIdi
dn'
twar
nyou"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Iknow"

★LI
NDI★

ithoughtwewouldbebacktoget
herbutherehei
s,gonewi
thher
.Tear
srandownmycheeks
asthecabwast aki
ngmehome.Thehood, wher
eIgrewupandsomesucceedandsomedon'
t.
Iam oneofthosewhoarenotnotsuccessf
ul.

Me:
"whyme?"

Iaskmy sel
f.Whyme?Whyam It or
tur
edliket
his.It
ryBongi
l
e,Ineedheratt
hismoment
.She
i
st heonlyonewhounder
standsmeatthi
spoint
.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT39
Iam ner
vous.Idon'
treall
yknowwhattoexpect,Thabanipul
ledthroughf
ormewi thhi
sfri
end
andIwil
lbeservi
ngAi zawithdi
vor
cepaperssoon.Wegott ohome.Wellit
'snothomeforme
anymorebutSneandAi za'shome.Siyandaparkedthecarandilookedathim.

Si
yanda:
"Youwantmet
ocomei
nwi
thy
ou?"

Me:
"No(si
gh)Icandot
hisonmyown"

Si
yanda:
"j
ustshout
.Iam her
e"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Iki
ssedhi
scheekandgotoutbr
eathi
ngsl
owl
y.Imademywayinsi
deandIopenedt
hedoor
.It
wasabitqui
etj
ustcoul
dsmellt
hearoma.Myst
omacht
urnedandIwentupt
hestai
rst
othe
mainbedr
oom andidoundt
hem i
nbed.

Ai
za:
"Si
za"

Hegotof
fthebed.Il
i
ftedmyhandst
oppi
nghi
mfr
om t
alki
ng.

Azi
a:"Icanexpl
ainSi
za"

Me:
"Pl
easej
ustpl
easeAy
ize!
"

Ai
za:
"baby"

Het
ri
edt
otouchme.

Me:
"don'
ttouchme!Pl
easedon'
t!"

Ipushedhi
m ov
erandwentt
othecl
osetandIwentt
otakeoutmysui
tcase.Hewasbehi
ndme.

Ai
za:
"itwasami
stakebabyIl
ovey
ou"

Me: "amist
akeIhadt
ofi
ndoutaboutonsoci
almedi
a.Youknowwhati
am donewi
thy
our
cheati
ngass"

It
hrewmycl
othesi
nsi
de.Hepul
l
edmyhai
r.

Ai
za:
"youar
enotl
eav
ingmeSi
za"

Me:
"Ai
zal
eav
emyhai
r"

Sne:
"Ai
za!"

Sheappear
ed.
Ai
za:
"St
ayoutoft
his.I
t'
sbet
weenmendmywi
fe.

Me:
"Iam di
vor
cingy
ourassAi
za!
"

Hesl
appedme.

Ai
za:
"youar
enotl
eav
ingmeSi
za,
youar
enot"

Ihel
dhi
slegsandl
i
ftsmy
sel
fupandIt
ri
edt
orushof
fbuthechokedme.

Sne:
"Ai
za!
"

Ai
za:
"fuckoutSne!
"

Hewaschoki
ngme.Ihi
thi
sar
m.

Me:
"ai
..
Aiza.
..
"

Icoul
dn'
tbr
eat
h.Hel
etmego.

Ai
za:
"Youcan'
tl
eav
emeSi
za,
til
ldeat
hdousapar
t"

Iwascoughi
nghy
ster
ical
l
y.

Ai
za:
"choosebet
weenst
ayi
ngwi
thmeanddeat
h?"

Me:
"Idon'
twanty
ouany
mor
e"

HepunchedmeandIl
aidont
hef
loor
.Icur
ledupandputmyhandsonmyst
omachashe
ki
ckedmyback.

Ai
za:
"youwantt
oleav
wmwSi
za"

At
eardr
oppedonmyneckandmyt
ear
sgushedout
.

Me:
"Ai
za"

Ai
za:
"Youwantt
oleav
eme?Youar
enowal
ki
ngoutoft
hisdoor"

Hest
oppedandwentt
othedoorpushi
ngSneandclosedthedoor
.Icr
iedt
her
eont
hef
loor
.I
t
ookmyphoneoutandcal
l
edSiyandaandheanswered.

Si
yanda:
"Baby"

Me:
"Pl
e..
.pl
easehel
p"

Si
yanda:
"fuckIam goi
ngt
oki
l
lhi
m"

Iputmyphonedownandcriedwhi
lehol
dingmystomach.Idon'
twanthi
stor
ytor
epeati
tsel
f.I
won'tr
ecov
eri
fIlooseanot
herchi
l
d.Idon'tt
hinkIwi
l
lever
.
Me:
"Godpl
ease."

Isni
ff
ed.

★AI
ZA★

Si
zacan'tl
eav
eme.Iam l
oosi
ngeverythi
ngandIcan'
tl
ooseher
.Sheistheonlygoodt
hingI
wi
llhav
e.Idiponmywhi
skyintheki
tchenandthr
owthegkassacr
osstheroom gr
oani
ng.

Sne:
"lethergo"

Ichokedher
.

Me:
"Iwi
l
lnev
erl
etSi
zago"

Shenodded,
Iletgoofherandshecoughed.

Me:
"don'
ttal
krubbi
shi
fyoudon'
thav
eany
thi
ngt
osay"

Shel
ookedatme.

Me:
"Fuck!
"

Ibangedt
hecount
er.

★SNE★

Ihav
eneverseenAizal
i
kethi
sbefore.WhathaveIgottenmysel
fint
o?Myt hr
oatisbur
ning
fr
om hi
m st
rangl
ingme.Iheargunshot
sAndi duckbehindhi
m hol
dinghi
swaist
.

"Iam goi
ngt
oki
l
lyouAi
zawher
ear
eyou!
?"

Aguyappear
ed.Theonewhol
eftwi
thSi
zat
heot
herday
.Hewascar
ryi
ngagun.

Si
yanda:
"whogi
vesy
out
her
ightt
otouchmywoman?
"

Heswingsafi
standIduckr
unni
ngwhil
escr
eaming.Aizast
umbl
esabi
tandtri
estoswi
ngit
backbutt
heguyducksandki
ckshi
stor
sobefor
etwist
inghi
sar
m.Helooksangryandi
nrage.
Si
yanda:
"wher
ethef
ucki
sshe?"

Iam scar
edofhi
sanger.

Ai
za:
"it
'smywi
fe"

Theguyl
et'
shi
m goandshoot
shi
sar
m.

Si
yanda:
"Iam war
ningy
ou!
"

Ai
za:
"gett
hef
uckoutofmyhouse"

Theguyshoothi
mtwi
cei
nthest
omachandl
ooksatme.Ir
aisemyhandsup.

Me:
"mai
nbedr
oom cl
oset"

Her
anupthest
air
s.Ibr
eat
hedoutandr
ushedt
otaket
hephoneandwentt
oAi
zawhi
l
ecal
l
ing
t
heambul
ance.

Me:
"don'
tcl
osey
ourey
es"

Hegr
oaned.OhmyGodt
hisi
samess.Igott
hrough

★SI
YANDA★

Igoti
nthemai
nbedr
oom.

Me:
"Si
za!"

Isawthecl
osetdoorbuti
twaslocked.Idi
dn'
tseethekeysoIshott
hekeyhol
derandt
henI
ki
ckedthedooropenandshewaslayingi
nafetusposi
ti
on.Shewassnif
fi
ng.

Me:
"baby"

It
ri
edt
ogetherupbutshecr
ied.

Si
za:
"mybacki
ssor
e."

Hernosewasbleedi
ng.It
ookoffmyj
acketandl
ookedatherandbl
oodwascomi
ngout
bet
weenherthi
ghs.Iknowthi
s.

Me:
"okcal
m down"

Ipi
ckedherupasgent
lyaspossi
bleandwentdownt
hest
air
swi
thherl
eav
ingt
hoset
wo.Iput
herinsi
det
hecaranddroveoff
.Shewascryi
ngwhil
eshewasbleedi
ngbet
weenhert
highsand
nose.Iam goi
ngtoki
l
lAizaifany
thi
nghappenst
othebot
hofthem

Me:
"Damni
tAi
za!"

★LI
NDI★

Bongil
edidn'
tanswerherphone.Ihadt
ogohome.WhenIgotof
fmymot
herwaswai
ti
ngby
thedoor.

Mom :
"wel
comeback,
whatdi
dyoubr
ing?"

Me:
"Ineedt
orest
."

Isni
ff
ed.

Mom :
"what
'swr
ong?"

Me:
"Ingat
hii
sal
i
ve"

Mom :
"ohmyGod.That
'swonder
ful
"

Me:
"it
'snot
.MahImessedupmymar
ri
age"

Shehushedme.IsawZami l
emakingherwayi
nwit
hawhiteboxi
nherhands.Shel
ooked
pregnant
.Sheknockedont
hedoorandiwentt
oat
tendi
t.

Zami
l
e:"Li
ndi
"

Me:
"Zama!Wow"

Il
ookedatherandwehugged.

Zama:
"Ibr
oughtt
hesef
ormah"

Mom :
"oht
hanky
ou"

Zami
l
e:"i
t'
sani
nvi
tat
ionaswel
l
."

Ev
ery
onei
sget
ti
ngpr
egnant
.

Me:
"youar
epr
egnant"

Shesmi
l
es.
Zami
l
e:"y
es"

Me:
"wow"

Mom ul
ulat
es..

Mom :
"awusi
yashadi
sa(wear
eget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed)
"

Zamagi
ggl
ed.

Zami
l
e:"
yebomah(y
esmah)
"

Mom :
"Ia!Sohappy
.Ohgodi
sgood"

Myhear
tsank.Ev
ery
one'
sli
fei
sgoi
ngok,
minenot
hing.

★SNE★

Theambulancecameanditt
ookhi
m awayputt
inghi
m onanoxy
genmask.If
oll
owed.Hi
s
hear
trat
ewasdr oppi
ngandhewaslooki
ngbl
ood.

Par
amedi
c:"weneedt
ogethi
m att
hehospi
tal
fast
"

Me:
"Ai
zaDon'
tdi
e.Youhav
eme"

Ihel
dhi
shandbutt
heymov
edme.Iwasscar
ed.I
fhedi
est
henIbl
ameSi
zaf
ori
t.

★SI
YANDA★

Wegottothehospi
talandtheyt
ookheraway.Iwasatthewait
ingr
oom paci
ngupanddown.I
wasanxi
ousandhopingtheyareok.TheDrcameoutandirushedt
oher.

Me:
"howi
sshe?"

Dr:
"shei
sok,
shei
sgoi
ngt
obej
ustf
ine"

Me:
"thebaby?
"
Dr:
"shewaspr
egnantwi
tht
wins.Unf
ort
unat
elyshel
ostone"

Myhear
tsank.

Me:
"uhm ,
ok"

Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
osay
.

Dr:
"youcanseeheraf
ter5mi
nut
es."

Inoddedswal
l
owi
ngwhat
'sev
eri
sinmyt
hroat
.

Me:
"doc"

Shel
ookedatme.

Me:"cant
hemiscar
ri
agest
aybet
weenus.Don'
tment
ionshewasgoi
ngt
ohav
etwi
ns.I
twi
l
l
t
ri
ggersomuchonher"

Dr:
"Iunder
stand."

Mw:
"thanky
ou"

Shewal
kedof
fandIsatdown.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT40

★SI
YANDA★

I
twasr
ingi
ngbef
oresheanswer
edi
taf
tersomet
ime.Iwassi
l
entandi
didn'
tknowwhatt
osay
orwhatt
odo.

Me:
"Ma"

Icl
ear
edwhat
everl
umpt
hatwasst
ucki
nmyt
hroat
.

Ma:"Si
yanda,
ubuyaNini
?oNhl
anhlababuy
abodwanj
e(Si
yandawhenar
eyoucomi
ngback?
Nhl
anhl
aandNdalocamebackwi
thoutyou)"

Ir
anmyf
inger
sthr
oughmyhai
randr
ubbedmyf
ace.

Me:
"Iam f
aci
ngst
uff"

Ma:
"whenar
eyouf
aci
ngst
uffal
one?"

Me:
"Mah"

Ma:
"don'
tsayt
hat
.Ndal
otol
dmey
ouf
oundamar
ri
edl
ady"

Me:
"ohGod"

Ma:
"Youcansayal
lGody
ouwant"

Me:
"Cany
ouandNdal
ost
ayoutofmybusi
ness.It
houghtIwoul
dtal
ktot
oyoubutcl
ear
lynot
"

Ma:
"don'
ttal
ktomel
i
ket
hatSi
yanda"

Me:
"by
e"

Ihunguponherandsi ghed.Icouldn'
tpullmyselfupyogoandcheckonher.Iwast r
yingto
regi
sterever
ythingintomyhead.Myphoner i
ngsandit'
sMaandIr ej
ectt
hecallandsi
gh.I
fi
nall
ystoodupandwentt oherwardtocheckuponher .WhenIreachedherwardshewas
l
ay i
nginbedbr uisedandIclenchedmyj aws.Iam gladsheisok.Myphoner angandIt ooki
t
outanditwasNhl anhl
a.Imov edawayf rom herwardandanswer
ed.

Nhl
anhl
a:"Yourmot
herj
ustcal
l
ed"

Me:
"Shei
sst
ressi
ngme"

Nhl
anhl
a:"what
'skeepi
ngy
out
her
e?"

Iputmyhandi
nmypocket
.

Me:
"Hehi
therandl
ockedherupi
nthecl
oset"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Andwher
ewer
eyou?"

Me:
"Iwaswai
ti
ngf
orhert
ocol
l
ecthert
hingssowecanl
eav
e"
Nhl
anhl
a:"Ihopey
ousor
tedhi
m out
."

Me:
"Idi
d"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Good.Howi
sshe?"

Me:
"Shemi
scar
ri
ed"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Iam sor
ry"

Isi
ghed.

Me:
"Yeah.Shehasonel
eft
"

Nhl
anhl
a:"soi
twast
wins"

Me:
"yeah"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Tr
yandgethert
ransf
eredt
oDur
ban.Sheneedsanewenv
ironment
"

Me:
"Iwi
l
l"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Iwi
l
ltal
ktoma"

Me:
"Iwantt
okeept
hemi
scar
ri
agebet
weenus"

Nhl
anhl
a:"sur
e.Iam sor
ry"

Me:
"Sur
e"

Ihangup.Iwal
kbacki
nsi
deandshei
slooki
ngar
ound.

Me:
"(sof
tl
y)hey"

Shelookedatmeandt
ear
swel
deduponherey
es.Hercheekwasbr
uised.Iki
ssedher
for
ehead.

Me:
"don'
twor
ry.Iam her
e,hewon'
thur
tyouev
eragai
n"

Si
za:
"Th-
Thebaby,
howi
sourbaby?"

Me:
"thebabyi
sok"

Si
za:
"I-
Ishoul
dn'
thav
ewentt
her
e"

Me:
"Wedi
dn'
tknowhewasgonnadot
hat"

Si
za:
"I.
..
"

Me:
"shhh."
Shenodded.

Si
za:
"Mybackhur
ts"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lcal
ltheDr"

ShenoddedandIwal
kedout
.

★ZAMI
LE★

Me:
"Itwasgoodseei
ngmyf
ri
endTodayy
azi
"

It
urnar
ound.

Me:
"Howaboutt
hisone?"

Andi
l
e:"i
t'
smut
ual
"

Me:"Yeah,
wedon'
tknowt
hegenderandwhent
hechi
l
dgr
owswedon'
thav
etochangeal
otof
t
hings."

Andi
l
e:"Whati
fmybabygi
rlwant
sapi
nkr
oom ?"

Me:
"thandaddywi
l
ltakecar
eofi
t"

Hechuckl
edandt
ookt
hepamphl
etf
rom myhands.

Andi
l
e:"Daddywi
l
ltakecar
eofi
t."

"
Hi,
hav
eyouf
oundany
thi
ng?"

Iputt
hepamphl
etaway
.

Andi
l
e:"Wear
ejustl
ooki
ng"

Sal
esper
son:
"pl
anni
ngahead"

Me:
"uhm y
es"

Sal
esper
son:
"Howf
aral
ongar
eyou?"

Iputmyhandonmyst
omach.

Me:
"16Weeks"
Shesmi
l
ed.

Sal
esper
son:
"st
il
lhav
eaf
ewmont
hst
ogo"

Andi
l
e:"Si
ncey
ouhav
en'
tfoundany
thi
ngasy
et.Weshoul
dgo"

Me:
"yes."

Heputt
het
eddybearawayandt
ookmyhandandwewal
kedoutoft
hest
ore.

Andi
l
e:"Whatar
eyouhungr
yfor?"

Me:
"Idon'
tknow"

Andi
l
e:"r
elax,
Iwi
l
ltakecar
eofi
t"

Inodded.

Andi
l
e:"
Sowhatdoy
ouwant
?"

Me:
"Pi
zza"

Andi
l
e:"onl
y?"

Me:
"whatar
eyoui
mpl
yi
ng?"

Hechuckl
ed.

Andi
le:
"okl
et'
sgoor
derpi
zzat
hengoor
derwi
ngsaswel
lthenbuysomesnackst
hencol
l
ect
andgohome"

Me:
"ok"

Ismi
l
edaswewal
kedar
oundt
hemal
l
.

Andi
l
e:"Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Hehel
dmyhand.

Me:
"Iwantt
otal
ktomysi
ster"

Andi
l
e:"Yeah?"

Me:
"yeah,
Ijustwantt
omendourr
elat
ionshi
pbef
oreIgetmar
ri
ed"

Andi
l
e:"That
'swonder
ful
"

Inodded
.

★SNE★

Hi
smothercamethrough.Iwasworri
edbecausetherehasn'
tbeenanyonewhohasi
nfor
med
meof
fhisprogr
ess.AllIknowi
sthathewenttosurgeryafewhoursago.

Hi
smom :
"wher
eismyson?"

Me:
"hei
sst
il
li
nsur
ger
y"

Hi
smom :
"whathappened?"

Me:
"Si
za'
sthugf
ri
endshothi
m"

Hi
smom :
"Iam gonnaar
restt
hatgi
rl!Shedoesn'
tknowme"

Me:
"weshoul
dcal
m down"

Shesatdownaswewaitedf
ort
heDr
.Iwasanxi
oust
oknowwhat
'shappeni
ngwi
thhi
m.ADr
appear
eddressedi
nscr
ubs.

Dr:
"MrAi
zaBi
yase"

Hi
smom :
"howi
smyson?"

Dr:
"hei
sgoi
ngt
obef
ine.Wer
emov
edt
hebul
l
etsandl
ucki
l
ytheydi
dn'
treachanyofhi
svi
tal
or
gans"

Me:
"canweseehi
m ?"

Hi
smom :
"Iam goi
ngt
ofi
ndt
hatSi
zakel
e,shewi
l
lwi
shshewasn'
tbor
n!"

Shewal
kedof
f.TheDrt
urnedt
ome.

Me:
"canIseehi
m ?"

Dr:
"foraf
ewmi
nut
es.Heneedst
orest
."

Inoddedandfoll
owedhim.WegottoAi
za'
swardandi
thankedhi
m bef
orehel
eftandIwal
ked
i
nside.Iwenttohissi
deandt
ouchedhi
shand.

Me:
"justwakeup.
"

Iki
ssedhi
sfor
ehead.Il
ovehi
m andi
fitt
akesev
ery
thi
ngi
nmet
omaket
hingsokf
orust
henI
wi
l
l.

★SI
ZA★

Iwasallowedt obet r
ansfer
edtoDurban.Iwanttobeawayaspossi blef
rom Aiza,
ifSi
yanda
wasn'tt
hereIwoul dn'tbeher
e.TheDrcheckedmybackandsai ditwasnot
hingbig,Iwi
llbeok
andgavemeaf ewoinamentsthatIcanrubmybackwi th.Iam al
sohappythatIdi
dn'
t
miscarr
iage.Idon'tknowhowIwoul dbeifthathappened.

Me:
"canIusemyphone?Ineedt
ocal
lmom "

Si
yandagav
eitt
omeandIcal
l
edmom.Sheanswer
ed.

Mom:
"Si
za,
Idon'
tknowy
ouany
mor
e"

Me:
"mah"

Mom :
"howar
eyouandMkhweny
ana?"

Ikeptqui
et.

Me:
"wear
eseper
ati
ng.Thi
ngsar
enotok"

Mom :
"haiboSi
zakel
e,kuqalangawey
ini
izint
ozi
ngal
ungi
emshadweni
?Uzenzazi
l
unge(ar
e
yout
hefi
rstonetohaveprobl
emsinmarr
iage?Youmakethem wor
k.)
"

Me:
"Ican'
t.Iam sor
ry"

Mom :
"uyangi
phoxay
azi.Usi
siwakhouyashadawenaufunaukubaumabuyaemendweni
(You
ar
edi
sappoint
ingme.Yoursi
steri
sgett
ingmar r
iedandnowyouwanttocomebackhome?)"

Me:
"Zamai
sget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed?"

If
eltal
ump.

Mom :
"yes."

Me:
"Iam happyf
orher"

Ihungupandgav
emyphonet
oSi
yanda.

Si
yanda:
"ar
eyouok?"
Me:
"shedoesn'
tunder
stand"

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT41

★KAMOGELO★

Iam Ner
vousandscaredandal
sonotreadyt
ofacemymot herasy
et.IthasbeenMonthssi
nce
Iwasherei
nMokopaneandIdidn'
tthi
nkIwouldbebacksosoon.Ingathihol
dsmyhandandI
l
ookathim bef
oresi
ghing.

I
ngat
hi"Youar
eok?"

Inod.

I
ngat
hi:
"Wewi
l
ljustgether"

Me:
"ifshei
shome"

Hewassi
l
ent
.Iam notr
eadyf
orhi
mtoseemymot
her
.

Me:
"May
beweshoul
dtur
nback"

I
ngat
hi:
"No,
Kamogel
o"

Isi
ghed.

I
ngat
hi:"Wewill
getthi
soveranddonewi
thbyhel
pingy
ourmot
her
.Ourbabyneedsbot
h
f
unct
ionalgr
andpar
ents"

Me:
"Iunder
stand."
Idon'tunderst
and.Isi
gh.Wegethomeandthegrassi
slongalmostbur
yingt
hehouse.My
heartisthuddi
ngandbeat
ingqui
etf
astaswel
l.I
ngathi
looksatmeandIlookaway.

I
ngat
hi:
"ist
hist
hepl
ace?"

Inodded.

I
ngat
hi:
"comet
hen"

Isi
ghedandwegotoutoft hecarandhel
ockedt
hedoorbefor
ewemadeourwayinsi
de.I
knockedoncewi t
hhim behi
ndmeandIopenedthedoorandwalkedi
nsi
de.I
tdi
dn'
tsmell
ok,
smelledof
falcoholaswell
.

Me:
"Mama!"

Icall
outf
orherbutallIgetisgr
oaning.If
oll
owthesoundandgot oherbedr
oom andsheis
l
ayingonthefl
oorandt her
earedroplet
soffbl
oodandbeerbott
les.It
urntoIngathi
whogives
mesomespaceandIcl osethedoorandgoandopenthewindowsbeforeatt
endingtoher
.
Sheismoaningwhil
elay i
ngonthefloor
.

Me:
"Mom i
tsmeKamogel
o"

Shemoans.

Me:
"ar
eyouok?Whyi
sther
ebl
ood?"

Mom.:
"Ler
atol
akal
ebohl
oko(Mybut
tissor
e)"

Tear
swel
dedupi
nmyey
es.

Me:
"letmegoandgetwat
erf
ory
out
obat
hin,
wear
egoi
ng"

ShemoanedandItookacoverandcov
eredheri
nitandwentoutoft
hebedr
oom.Il
ookedat
I
ngat
hiandhejustopenedhi
sarmsandIdiv
edri
ghtincr
ying.

I
ngat
hi:
"shhhi
t'
sok"

Me:
"It
..
.i
t.
..
"

I
ngat
hi:
"shh,
ever
ythi
ngwi
l
lbeok"

Inodded.

★SI
ZA★
Si
yanda:
"Youhav
ebeenr
ubbi
ngt
hatst
omachsi
ncewel
eft"

Heputshi
shandovermystomachaswell
.Ihav
elef
thomeandcamet oDur
banwi
thSi
yanda.I
am admi
tt
edatthehospi
tal
sti
l
lbutIwi
l
lbeoutsoonasIam checkedout
.

Me:
"yeah"

Ther
eissi
l
ence.

Si
yanda:
"What
'sbot
her
ingy
ou?"

Me:
"whatwoul
dhav
ebeenofmei
fIdi
dn'
tpr
otectourbaby"

Hei
ssi
lent
.Honestl
yhowcanZama'
sli
fegosowel
lwi
thoutev
enget
ti
nganapol
ogyf
rom her
.
I
ssher
emorsef
ulofwhatshedi
dtome?

Si
yanda:
"wewoul
dhav
emadeanot
herbaby"

Me:
"Idon'
tthi
nkIwoul
dhav
erecov
ered"

Si
yanda:
"Hey,
Iam her
eok?Any
thi
ngy
ouf
eel
isheav
yony
oul
eti
toutonme"

Inodded.

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

Si
yanda:
"Il
ovey
ouok?"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

TheDrwal
kedi
nthewar
d.

Dr:
"Mynewpat
ient
.Icheckedever
ythi
ngony ouanditl
ooksok.Justneedaf
ewday
sof
doi
ngmoret
est
sony out
heny ouwi
llberel
easedifal
lcl
ear
s."

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Dr:
"Iwi
l
lsendanur
set
obr
ingy
ousomet
hingt
oeat"

Si
yanda:
"Iwi
l
lgethersomet
hingt
oeat"

Dr:
"Mor
ebal
ancedpl
ease,
fort
hebabyt
obeheal
thy"

Si
yanda:
"sal
ad?"

Me:
"that
'sst
arv
ati
on"

Dr:
"(l
aughi
ng)Sal
adi
sgoodwi
thmeataswel
ltosat
isf
ythemommy"
Si
yanda:
"howaboutt
hat
?"

Me:
"thatseemsf
ine"

Dr:
"gr
eatt
hen.Letmegoandcar
ryonwi
thmydut
ies"

Shewal
kedout
.

Si
yanda:
"Shei
stoobubbl
yforherki
ndofJobdescr
ipt
ion"

Me:
"Shel
ovesherj
ob"

Si
yanda:
"letmegobuyt
hatsal
ad"

Me:
"ok"

Heki
ssedmyf
oreheadbef
orewal
ki
ngout.

★SNE★

Iwentbacktothehousetocleanupandchange.Ihadanappointmentwit
haDetect
iveabout
Ai
za'sshooti
ngandiwantthatguybehindbar
s.Howcoul dheshoothi
ml i
ket
hat?Ifi
nished
cl
eaningupandIwenttobathandcameoutaf ter,
myphoner anganditwasmyaunt.TodayI
am notint
hemoodf orher.IjustwantAi
zaback,that
'sal
l
.

★KAMOGELO★

Iwaslooki
ngatherbodywhileIbat
hedher,shehadmarksandscarsal
lov
erit.Shelooked
l
ikeshewassick.Thi
sisnotmymot her,
thi
sisnott
hewomanwhogav ebirt
htomeandused
togi
vemewar m hugsEvery
timeIcamehomecr yi
ng.Thisisnott
hewomanmyf atherusedto
l
oveli
kesheistheonlyhumaninthewor l
d.Thi
sisnother.

Mom :
"EmaHany
ane(wai
tabi
t)"

Ist
opabi
tandshebr
eat
hsout
.

Me:
"Nkat
soel
aPel
e?(CanIcar
ryon?)
"
Shenodsandi
car
ryonbat
hinghergent
ly.

Me:
"Naobonahor
ekemangmama?(Cany
ouseewhoi
tismama?
)"

Mom :
"Eekeaobonangwanaka(y
esIcanseey
oumychi
l
d)"

Shehasadeepscarunderherar
m.

Me:
"(t
ear
y)Mmehoet
sehal
angkabophel
obahao(mom what
'sgoi
ngonwi
thy
ourl
i
fe)
"

Shet
ouchesmycheeksandwi
pesmyt
ear
s.

Mom :
"Iam sor
ry"

Me:
"sor
ry?"

Mom :
"keat
sebahor
ehot
hat
a(Iknowi
t'
sdi
ff
icul
t)
"

Me:"oat
seba?Oat
seba?Haot
sebeNexMama!(y
ouknow?Youknow?Youknownot
hing
)"

Mom :
"Kamogel
oNgwanaka(Kamogel
omychi
l
d)"

Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s.

Me:
"getoutsoy
oucangetdr
essed"

Shenodded.

Mom :
"kekopat
s'oar
elo(Iam sor
ry)
"

Ij
ustnoddedandwentt
olookf
orat
owel
inherwar
drobe.

★ZAMI
LE★

Mom wal
ksi
ntheki
tchen.

Mom :
"awusasebenzi
yini
wena?(Don'
tyouwor
kany
mor
e?)
"

Me:
"Ido,
myshi
ft
shav
echanged.Ianst
art
ingt
omor
row"

Shenoddedandwentt
othecupboar
dsandst
art
edbangi
ngt
hem whi
l
elooki
ngf
orsomet
hing.
Me:
"ukahl
e?(Ar
eyouok?)
"

Mom :
"yaziusisiwakhoangi
mazimay
ephi
ndisel
aunkul
unkul
ungempamakanj
e(Idon'
tknow
whyy
oursisterissl
appinggodi
nthef
acel
ikethi
s!)
"

Me:
"whatdi
dshedo?"

Mom :
"shei
sget
ti
ngadi
vor
ce"

Me:
"what?"

Idi
dn'
tseet
hiscomi
ng.

Mom :
"Iwi
l
lbel
therbacki
ntot
hatmar
ri
age,
shei
snott
hef
ir
stonet
ofacepr
obl
ems"

Me:
"wher
eisshe?"

Mom:
"atherhouse?Idon'
tknow,
Iam j
ustangr
y"

Shekeepsonbangi
ngt
hecupboar
ds.Il
ookather,
Ithoughtt
heywer
ehappy.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT42

★KAMOGELO★

Ipackedhercl
eanclot
hesneatl
yinabag.Shewasdri
nki
ngaj
ugofwar
m wat
ert
hatImadef
or
her.Sheisstr
uggl
i
ngt ogeti
tdownbutsheist
ryi
ng.

Mom :
"CanIhav
eonecaseofBl
ackl
abel
Ngwanaka"
Me:
"Iam notbuy
inganyal
cohol
fory
ou"

Mom :
"Justonebot
tl
e"

Me:
"No,
Iam notbuy
ingany
thi
ng.Youhav
etoov
ercomey
ourdr
inki
ngpr
obl
em."

Mom :
"it
'sapr
obl
em howbecauseIam notbot
her
ingany
one"

It
urnt
oher
.

Me: "itbother
sme, yourdaughter!Iam y oungmama, Ishoul
dbeinvarsi
tychasi
ngmy
dreams.Bei ngwithmypeer s.Notthi
s, Ishouldn'
tbebabyi
ngyou.Ishoul
dn'tbeamotherat
thi
sage, don'
tyouunderst
andhowhur tIam.?Youar enottheonl
yonewhol ostdad.Il
osta
fatherok?ButIam notdr i
nkingmyl i
feaway "

Shel
ooksatme.

Mom :
"(sof
tl
y)y
oudon'
tunder
standKamogel
o."

Shesi
ghedandt
ookagul
p.It
urnedt
othebagandz
ippedi
tup.

Me:
"Comewear
eleav
ing"

Mom :
"towher
e?"

Me:
"Gaut
eng"

Mom :
"Oh"

Shestoodupandsheputt hej
ugonthefl
oorandit
ookherhand.Wewal kedoutofher
bedroom andwentoutsi
de.Ingat
hiwasi
nthemiddl
eofacall.Il
ockedt
hehouseandwe
walkedoutofthegat
e.

Mom :
"ist
hatt
heonewhoi
mpr
egnat
edy
ou?Hel
ooksol
dert
hany
ouNgwanakaandt
oomuch
"

Ikeptqui
et.

I
ngat
hi:
"Iwi
l
lcal
lyouback"

Hehungup.

I
ngat
hi:
"(cl
eart
hroat)gr
eet
ingsmah"

Her
eachedouthi
shandf
orahandshake.

Mom :
"Whatdoy
ouwantf
rom Kamogel
o?Ar
eyougonnal
eav
eheraf
teri
mpr
egnat
ingher?"

Me:
"Mme!"
Mom :
"No,
KebuaNet
e(noIam t
ell
i
ngt
het
rut
h)"

Me:
"Pl
ease"

I
ngat
hi:
"No,
Idon'
tpl
anonl
eav
ingmychi
l
dli
ket
hat
"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Mom :
"KeThsepaj
oal
o(Ihopeso)
"

I
ngat
hi:
"letmehel
pyoui
nsi
de"

Heopenedthedoorandtookthebagfr
om myhandsandputi
tinsi
de.Igotmymot
heri
nsi
de
andbuckl
edherupattheback.Weclosedt
hedoorandIsi
ghed.

I
ngat
hi:
"it
'sgoi
ngt
obeok"

Me:
"Youdon'
twantt
oseewhatIsaw"

I
ngat
hi:
"Justcal
m down.Ev
ery
thi
ngwi
l
lbeok."

Me:
"herl
i
psar
esopi
nk,
It'
sli
keshei
ssi
ckI
nga"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iam sor
ry"

Me:
"Ineedahug"

Hepul
l
smei
ntooneandIbr
eakdown.

I
ngat
hi:
"it
'sok,
Iam her
e"

I
tpai
nsme,
itr
eal
l
ydoesandi
tbot
her
sandbur
densmeal
ot.

★SI
ZA★

It
ri
edt
osi
tupabi
tsoIcanbeabi
tcomf
ort
abl
e.

Me:
"Ah!
"

Asharppai
ncamefrom myabdomen.Ibr
eat
hedoutandtr
iedoncemoreandIf
eltsome
l
iqui
d.Iopenedt
hehospi
tal
bedcover
sandbl
oodwasbetweenmylegs.

Me:
"No!
..
.No!
..
.No!Notmybabypl
easeNur
sehel
p!Dr!"
Ishout
edwhi
l
ehol
dingmyst
omach

Me:
"Hel
ppl
easemybaby,
sav
emybaby"

Tear
sst
reameddownmyey
es,
myhear
twasachi
ng.

_
___
__

"
Siza!
"

Iopenedmyey
esandmyey
esmetSi
yandaandaDr.

Dr:
"Isherbl
oodpr
essur
edecr
easi
ng?
"

Nur
se:
"Yes"

Sheputherst
ethoscopeonandl
i
stenedt
omyhear
tbeat,
Iwassweat
ingandbr
eat
hingheav
il
y.

Me:
"my.
..
thebaby"

Dr:
"(r
emov i
ngt
hest
ethoscope)
Thebabyi
sfi
nef
ornow,
yourbl
oodpr
essur
eshoul
dn'
tbehi
gh
,st
opstr
essi
ng"

Me:
"It
hought,
IthoughtIl
ostmychi
l
d"

Si
yanda:
"itwasj
ustabaddr
eam "

Me:
"Iam sor
ry,
Ijust.
..
"

Dr:
"Don'
tov
ert
hink,
ok?"

Me:
"ok"

Dr:
"Iwi
l
lsendanur
set
ocomeev
eryhourandcheckupony
ou"

Inodded.Shesmi
l
edbef
orewal
ki
ngoutwi
tht
henur
se.

Si
yanda:
"youandt
hebabyar
esaf
e,not
hingi
sgonnahappent
oyou"

Heki
ssesmyf
orehead.Ibr
eat
hedout
.Myhear
tisst
il
lthuddi
ng.

Si
yanda:
"Ok?"

Me:
"Ok"

Inodded.

Si
yanda:
"Let
'ssi
tyouupsoy
oucaneat"

Me:
"Iam nothungr
y"
Iwasscar
ed.

Si
yanda:
"eatSi
za,
thi
nki
fthebabyt
hatneedsf
ood"

Isi
ghedthennodded.Hehel
pedmesi
tupandmybackwasabitpr
oblemati
cbutIsatup.He
satdownonthebedandfedme.Itouchedmyst
omach,pl
easepr
otectt
hischi
l
dy ouhave
giv
entomeGod.

★SNE★

Iwentbackt
othehospi
tal
.Iwastol
dtowai
tabitast
heDrissti
ll
busywithhi
m bef
oreIwas
t
oldIcangoandseehi
m.Istoodupandwentt
ohiswardandtheDrlef
t.

Me:
"Ai
za"

Themachi
neswer
emaki
ngnoi
se.Il
ookedatt
hem t
henhi
m andt
ouchedhi
sar
m.

Me:
"Youar
egonnabeok"

Isatdownont
hechai
r.

Me:"iunder
standev
ery
thi
ngandIforgi
vey ou.Sheanger
edy
oui
ntodoi
ngmel
i
ket
hatt
oo.But
youneedhel
pandwear egonnagety
out hatsomehow"

Isi
ghed.

Me:
"comeback,
Imi
ssy
ou"

Tear
swel
dinmyey
esasIl
ookathi
m.

★KAMOGELO★

Mom :
"Iam t
hir
sty"

Me:
"Dr
inksomebot
tl
edwat
er"

Mom :
"Kamogel
o"

Me:
"mmmh?"
Shekeptqui
etandIl
ookedatI
ngat
hiwhowasst
eal
i
nggl
ancesatme.

Mom :
"Kamo"

Me:
"ify
ouar
egonnasaysomet
hingaboutdr
inki
ngIswearIam goi
ngt
ogocr
azy!
"

I
ngat
hi:
"Kamo"

Me:
"nomeansnoI
ngahaah!
"

Mom :
"Youdon'
thav
etoshout"

Heputhi
shandonmi
ne.

I
ngat
hi:
"cal
m down"

Mom si
tuat
ionpi
ssesmeof
fwhenshedoest
his.If
eel
li
kesmacki
ngheri
nthepr
ocessof
r
ecov
eri
ng.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT43

Iwasnervousandscaredthatmaybehismot herwouldn'
tli
keme, Ihav
ebeensilentsi
ncewe
l
eftthehotelandIf
eeldrai
nedal
ready
, Iam notreadyatthi
smoment.Igotdischargedtwo
daysagoandmyphobi aisnotat
tacki
ngmeatt hemoment.Justwi shandwantev er
ythi
ngto
beok, whereIcanfeel
happywit
houtitcomi ngwithweight
.Ist
hatsomuch?

Si
yanda:
"wear
eher
e"

Isi
ghed.

Si
yanda:
"what
'swr
ong?
"

Me:
"justner
vous"
Si
yanda:
"Don'
tbe."

Inoddedpr
essi
ngmyl
i
pst
oget
herandhel
eanedi
ntoki
ssmyl
i
ps.

Si
yanda:
"Il
ovey
ou,
that
'sal
lthatshoul
dmat
terf
ir
st"

Inodded.

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Hegotoutofthecarandcamebymysideandopenedthedoorf ormebef oreIgotout.He

l
ockedthecarandheldmyhandaswemadeourwayi nside.Iam reall
yhopingforthebet
terat
t
hismoment.Idon'thaveener
gyt
odealwi
thMotheri
nl aw'sdrama, Ial
readyhavemyownl i
fe
t
ohandle.

Si
yanda:
"MaK!"

Me:
"whydoy
ousayMaK?"

Si
yanda:
"It
'sf
orMaKhumal
o"

Me:
"oh"

Si
yanda:
"comesi
t"

Hel
eadsmet
othel
ounge.

"Ubangel
aniumsi
ndouf
ikanj
ekwami
(whyar
eyoumaki
ngnoi
sewheny
ouhav
ejustar
ri
vedat
myhouse? )
"

Si
yanda:
"Ngi
kuphat
hel
esomet
hing(Ihav
esomet
hingf
ory
ou)
"

Wehearf
oot
steps.Iam ner
vousast
heygetnearandnear.

MaK:
"Oh,
Hi"

Shel
ookedatme.

Si
yanda:
"Mamzozi
khi
phani
?(Mom howar
eyou?)
"

MaK:
"hay
iNgi
grand(Iam good)
"

Shesai
dthtl
ooki
ngatmeandIswal
l
owed.Iwasner
vous.

MaK:
"Ubani
logl
ama?(Whoi
sthi
sDol
l?)
"

Si
yanda:
"Si
zakel
e,mygi
rl
fr
iend.uMakot
iwakho(y
ourdaught
eri
nlaw)
"

Iwant
edt
obeoutofher
ebecausei
t'
sget
ti
ngawkwar
d
MaK:
"Akashadi
l
eyi
ni?
(Isn'
tshemar
ri
ed?
)"

If
eltl
i
ket
hewor
ldcoul
dswal
l
owme.

Si
yanda:
"mah"

MaK:
"Iam j
ustaski
ng"

Si
yanda:
"Noshei
snotmar
ri
ed"

MaK:
"awuNgokubanawenj
eakasashadi
l
e(bei
ngwi
thy
ouandnowshei
snotmar
ri
ed)
"

Me:
"It
hinkIshoul
dleav
e"

MaK:
"ar
en'
tyousupposedt
obei
nGaut
eng?"

Si
yanda:
"Maht
hat
'senough!"

Ist
oodup.

Me:
"Itwasl
ovel
ytomeety
ou"

Shel
ookedatmeupanddownandIwal
kedof
f.

"Si
za!
"

I
tsev
ident
.Iwoul
dnev
erbehappyandatpeaceasl
ongasst
epmot
her
'shat
eme.

★SI
YANDA★

Iwasangr
y,mor
ethanangr
y.Iwasf
uri
ousaboutmymot
her
'schi
l
dishbehav
iour
.

Ma:
"yi
niwena?
(What
'supwi
thy
ou?
!)"

Me:
"Uy
angi
casul
ayazi
(youar
epi
ssi
ngmeof
f)"

Ma:"hai
bo!Twomi
nut
eswi
thherandy
ouar
enowpi
ssedbyme,
sur
elyshei
susi
ngsomet
hing
st
rong."

Me:
"what
'sy
ourpr
obl
em ?
"

Ma:
"shei
smypr
obl
em.Shei
smar
ri
ed,
whyi
sshenotst
icki
ngt
ohermar
ri
age?
"

Me:
"youhav
enev
erbeenmar
ri
edsodon'
ttal
kaboutmar
ri
agesl
i
key
ouknowwhatgoesdown
"

Ist
oodup.

Ma:
"Ngi
yal
i
ngwa(Iam bei
ngt
est
ed)
"

Me:"Getyouractt
ogether
.Youar egoingtobeagrandmot
herandbefor
eyouspeaki
t'
smine
andIknowit.Getyourshi
ttogether,
youdon'tknowwhatSi
zahasbeenthr
oughandIdon'
t
wantyourchi
ldi
shatt
it
udeaffect
ingheruyangi
zwa?(Youhearme?) "

Shewassi
l
ent
.

Me:
"Ngif
unaukubuy
auhluzil
engokomqondoengat
hiusuy
adel
elamanj
e(Iwantt
ocomeback
t
oyoubet
termi
nded,youaredisr
espect
ful
now)"

Shef
rownedandIwal
kedpasther
.Iwal
kedoutandf
oundSi
zawi
pinghert
ear
s.

Me:
"Iam sor
ry"

Si
za:
"it
'sok"

Ipul
l
edheri
nahug.

Me:
"it
'snotwheny
ouar
ecr
ying"

Si
za:
"it
'st
hisbaby"

Me:
"babe"

Shel
ookedatme.

Me:
"Comel
et'
sgo"

Wegoti
nthecarandIdr
oveof
f.

★KAMOGELO★

Il
ookoutsi
deandtheviewisref
reshi
ngandcalmingaswell
.Ihav ebeenst
andi
ngherefor
atl
eastanhour
.Ifeelhandssnakearoundmeandakissisplantedonmycheek.Hi
shand
goesovermineandhelockst
hem beforetheymovei
nsynchronyovermybump.Ifeel
drai
ned,
Ij
ustwanttogiv
ebir
thnowsoIcanhav el
essstr
essaswell
.

I
ngat
hi:
"Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
"
Me:
"Ihi
dev
eryal
cohol
i
csubst
anceIf
oundi
nyourhouse,
iny
ourst
udy"

I
nagt
hi:
"won'
tsheent
er?"

Me:
"Shewon'
t"

Heki
ssesmyneck.

Me:
"t
hisi
sbeaut
if
ul"

I
ngat
hi:
"iti
s.That
'swhyIboughti
t,f
ort
hev
iew"

Heki
ssedmyneck.

I
ngat
hi:
"doesi
tmakey
ouuncomf
ort
abl
eli
vi
ngher
e?"

Me:
"no"

Wear
enotdat
ingsowhyshoul
ditmakemeuncomf
ort
abl
e?

I
ngat
hi:
"Ar
eyousur
e?"

Me:
"yesI
ngat
hi,
it'
syourhousenotmi
ne"

Hi
shandunl
ockedf
rom mi
neandgoesdownmybel
l
yandt
ouchesmyPr
ivat
ear
ea.

Me:
."i
ngat
hi"

I
ngat
hi:
"Imi
ssy
ou"

Me:
"Iam her
e"

Hebi
tesmynecksof
tl
yandIf
eel
hisshaf
tpoki
ngmef
rom behi
nd.

I
ngat
hi:
"Kamo"

Me:
"mmmh?"

I
ngat
hi:
"Iwanty
ou"

It
urnedar
oundandf
acedhi
m.

Me:
"mmmh"

Heki
ssedmyl
i
psandIr
etur
nedi
t.Ibr
okei
tandwal
kedi
nsi
det
hebedr
oom f
rom t
hebal
cony
.

I
ngat
hi:
"ar
ewepl
ayi
ng?
"

Hesmi
rked.
Me:
"ohno,
Iam t
ir
ed"

Il
aughed.

I
ngat
hi:
"youar
egonnabet
ir
edaf
ter"

Me:
"real
l
y?"

Henoddedandki
ssedmeandIr
etur
nedi
taswel
l
.

★ZAMI
LE★

Ist
oodbyt
hedoorcont
empl
ati
ngwhet
hert
oknockornot
.

Me:
"youcandot
his"

Ir
angthedoorbel
ltwi
ceandwai
ted.Thedooropenedandawomanopenedi
t.Il
ookedather
upanddown.

Her:
"canIhel
pyou?"

Me:
"whoar
eyou?"

Her:
"Sne,
canIhel
pyou?"

Ipushedherasi
deandwal
kedi
n.

Me:
"wher
eisSi
za?"

Her:
"don'
ttel
lmeabouther,
Idon'
tknow"

It
urnedt
oher
.

Me:
"wher
eisAi
za?
"

Sne:
"thehospi
tal
andwhoar
eyou"

Me:
"Iam goi
ngt
oki
l
lhi
mfordoi
ngt
hist
omysi
ster"

Ihi
therwi
thmybag.

Sne:
"hey!"

Me:
"tr
ymey
ouwi
l
lknowme,
getout!"
Sne:
"thi
sisnoty
ourhouse"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lbeback'

Icl
i
ckedmyt
ongueandwal
kedout
.It
ri
edSi
za'
snumberbuti
ttookmet
ovoi
cemai
l

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT44

Si
yanda:
"Doy
ouneedany
thi
ng?"

Ishookmyhead.

Me:
"no"

Hesi
ghed.

Si
yanda:
"'
Siza"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Si
yanda:
"Iam sor
ry"

Me:
"it
'sok.I
t'
snoty
ourf
aul
t"

Si
yanda:
"Idon'
tknowwhat
'swr
ongwi
thmymot
her"

Me:
"It
'sf
ine.Shei
sexpr
essi
nghowshef
eel
s"

Si
yanda:
"It
'snotok"

Me:
"Si
yanda"
Si
yanda:
"Si
za"

Isi
gh

Me:
"Iam usedt
oit
."

Si
yanda:
"Iwi
l
ltal
ktoher"

Me:
"don'
t.Idon'
twantt
ocauset
roubl
e"

Hei
ssi
l
ent
,Il
ookathi
m onemor
eti
meandIsi
gh.

Me:
"It
'sok"

Ij
ustwantt
oknowwhatmakespeopl
ehat
emewi
thoutav
ali
dreasonhonest
ly.

★ZAMI
LE★

Igotof
fthetaxi
andfoll
owedmywayhome.Wher ecouldSizabe?Ireal
l
yneedtotal
ktoher.I
seeMaZumaout si
deandIr eal
lydon'
twantt
otal
ktohertoday.Myphoneri
ngssav i
ngme
fr
om whatev
erprophecythatshewasabouttol
etonme. I t
'sAndi
l
eandIanswersmili
ng.

Me:
"Andi
l
e"

Andi
l
e:"St
handwaSam "

Me:
"Imi
ssy
ou"

Ir
eal
l
ymi
sshi
m.

Andi
l
e:"Imi
ssy
out
oo.Ihav
ebeenabi
tbusy"

Myhear
traces.

Me:
"oh"

Iwantt
oaskbutIdon'
twantt
oseem l
i
keaj
eal
ousf
ianceoranoseyone.

Andi
le:
"No,Iwasjustsor
ti
ngoutf
inanci
ali
ssuessowewon'
thav
epr
obl
emsi
nfut
ureandf
or
whenwegetmarr
ied."

Me:
"ohIheary
ou"

Andi
l
e:"r
elax.Il
ovey
ou"
Me:
"Iam r
elaxed"

Andi
l
e:"y
ourv
oicei
spi
tchi
ngupt
hatmeansy
ouar
ely
ing"

Me:
"Hai
boBabe,
youcannowt
ell
whenmyv
oicei
ssel
l
ingmeoutornot"

Andi
l
e:"Yes.Youar
emywomansoIhav
etoknow"

Il
aughedandMaZumawaslooki
ngatme.Ient
eredt
hey
ardandj
ustwav
edt
oherandcar
ied
onwitht
heconv
ersat
ion.

Me:
"Ri
ght"

Andi
l
e:"howdi
ditgowi
thy
oursi
ster?
"

Me:
"Idi
dn'
tfi
ndher
.If
oundsomet
rampi
nthei
rhouse"

Andi
l
e:"herhusbandi
scheat
ing.Wow"

Me:
"Ri
ght?Ir
eal
l
ywant
edust
owor
kout
.Si
zahasbeennot
hingbutamazi
ng"

Andi
l
e:"y
ouhav
etodot
hist
hen"

Me:
"wher
ewoul
dIst
art?"

Andi
l
e:"y
our
sel
ffi
rstbef
oreher
.Si
ncer
elydot
his"

Me:
"Iheary
ou,
ihav
etogo"

Andi
l
e:"canIseey
out
oni
ght?
"

Me:
"Sur
e"

HehungupandIwal
kedi
nsi
de.Mahwasbusywi
pingt
het
v.

Me:
"Hav
eyoubeencl
eani
ngal
lday?"

Mom :
"Yoursi
steri
sst
ressi
ngme"

Me:
"Shei
snotatherhouse.Ai
zai
scheat
ing"

Mom :
"what?Whyi
sSi
zadoi
ngt
hat?Younev
erl
eav
eaman.Looknow"

Me:
"ar
eyouheadi
ngy
our
sel
f?"

Mom :
"Iam cal
l
ingt
hepast
or.Heneedst
oint
erv
enei
nherl
i
fe."

Shet
akesoutt
hephonef
rom herski
rtandwal
ksout
.

.
.

★KAMOGELO★

It
ri
edt
ogetof
fthebedbuthepul
l
edmebacki
nbed.

Me:
"Ingat
hi"

I
ngat
hi:
"Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?"

Ne:
"Ineedt
ocheckonMom "

I
ngat
hi:
"Justal
i
ttl
ebi
tlonger"

Me:
"real
l
y?"

Hehol
dsmywai
standsmi
rksl
ooki
ngatmeandIsmi
l
e.

Me:
"What?Ineedt
ogetup."

I
ngat
hi:
"buty
oumakemewar
m"

Me:
"Ingat
hi!
"

I
ngat
hi:
"St
opst
ressi
ng"

Me:
"youar
ebehav
ingl
i
keaki
dnow"

I
ngat
hi:
"ok,
Iam sor
rykeMamakhe"

Me:
"mmmh"

Heper
ksmyl
i
psandt
ouchesmycheek.Il
ookthi
m.

I
ngat
hi:
"youl
ookbeaut
if
ul"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Hepul
lsmeclosert
ohim andl
aysmeonhi
schestandIputmyhandonhischestandl
ayoni
t
l
ist
eni
ngtohi
sheartbeat
,hi
sbr
eathi
ngi
sst
eadyandIgettor
elaxj
ustbi
t.

I
ngat
hi:
"Kamo"

Me:
"mmh?
"

I
ngat
hi:
"doy
ouhearsomet
hing?
"

Me:
"yourdr
ummi
nghear
t"
I
ngat
hi:
"That
'sgood,
Wheni
tst
opsi
tlookedi
tspur
pose"

Me:
"ofbei
ngapump?"

I
ngat
hi:
"ofbeat
ingf
orsomeone"

Me:
"that
'scheesy"

I
ngat
hi:
"it
'showaper
sonf
eel
s.Doesn'
tyour
sdot
hesame"

It
houghtofmymot
her
.

Me:
"itdoes"

Isaysof
tl
y.Hepl
ayswi
thmyhai
r.

I
ngat
hi:
"Mmmmh"

Isi
ghandcl
osemyey
esl
ett
inghi
shear
tbeatsoot
hme.

★SI
ZA★

wewer ej
ustafewminut
esawayf
rom r
eachi
ngoutdest
inat
ion.Wehavebeensi
l
entev
ersi
nce.
Justonewordanswer
s.Myphoneri
ngsandi t
akei
tandit'
sThabani
.Iansweri
t.

Me:
"Hey"

Si
yandal
ooksatmebutIi
gnor
ehi
m.

Thabani
:"Si
zay
ouar
einbi
gtr
oubl
e"

Me:
"whatdi
dIdo?"

Si
yandast
eal
sagl
anceatme.

Thabani
:"Ij
ustgotbackf
rom myf
ri
endandguesswhat
.Youar
ewant
edbyt
hecops"

Me:
"What?
!"

Thabani
:"Ai
za'
sshoot
ing.Youar
esai
dtoknowt
heguywhoshothi
m"

Il
ookatSi
yanda.
Me:
"I.
..
I"

Thabani
:"Thi
sisamess.Ican'
tgetr
idofanythi
ng.IknowAizadidsomethi
ngforthatguyt
o
shoothi
m butIcan'
tmakeev
ery
thi
ngdisappearbecauseev
idencehasbeencol
l
ected."

Me:
"tel
lmey
ouar
ejoki
ng"

Thabani
:"doest
hissoundl
i
keaj
oke?
"

Me:
"what?"

OhmyGod.Thi
sisamess.

Thabani
:"wher
ear
eyou?"

Me:
"somewher
e"

Thabani
:"l
ayl
ow"

Me:
"not
ed.Thanks"

Thabani
:"shar
p"

Ihungupandbr
eat
hout
.Si
yandal
ooksatme.

Me:
"thatwasAsi
a'
scousi
n"

Si
yanda:
"youf
ri
ends?"

Ne:
"notr
eal
l
y"

Henods. Iwantt
otel
lhi
m buthowdoIputi
t? Hekeepsondr
ivi
ngandwear
esl
oweddown
byt
hetraf
fi
ckcops.Myhear
tisbeat
ing.

Si
yanda:
"whatnow?"

Heslowsdownandstopst
hecar,
thet
raf
fi
ccopcomest
ohi
swi
ndowandknocksoni
tand
Si
yandarol
l
sitdown.

Cop:
"mmmh"

Iswal
l
ow.

Si
yanda:
"ist
her
eany
thi
ngwr
ong?
"

Hesay
swi
thabi
tofanat
ti
tude.

Cop:
"pl
easest
epoutoft
hecar.

Si
yanda:
"cany
ouj
ustgi
vemat
icketsoIcanl
eav
e?"
Cop:
"Now!"

Me:
"Babe"

Helooksatmeandget
sout.Iseet
wopoli
cemencomi
ngt
owar
dst
hecarhol
dingpaper
.My
hear
twasthuddi
ng.Theyst
art
edarr
est
inghi
m.

Si
yanda:
"whatt
hef
uckar
eyoudoi
ng?
!"

Of
fi
cer:
"youar
ear
restf
ort
heshoot
ingofAi
zaBi
yase"

Me:
"Si
yanda!"

Si
yanda:
"don'
twor
ry.Cal
lNhl
anhl
aonmyphoneandt
ell
him"

Me:
"Si
yanda"

Iam inaci
tyIam notf
ami
li
arwit
handmyboyfr
iendi
sget
ti
ngarr
ested.Igetoutoft
hecar
taki
nghisphoneatgoi
ngt
owardshi
m butt
hecopspushmeaway.

Si
yanda:
"don'
ttouchher"

Of
fi
cer:
"shutup.Puthi
mint
hecar"

Si
yanda:
"cal
lNhl
anhl
anowSi
za!"

Hesayswhi
l
eheisdraggedaway.Iunl
ockhi
sphoneandgeti
nthecarandl
ocki
tthendi
al
Nhl
anhl
a.Heanswer
sinonering.

Nhl
anhl
a:"Si
yanda"

Me:
"It
'sSi
za"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Iam oni
t.Iam comi
ng"

Ihaven'
tsai
dany
thi
ng. Hehangsup.Iam scar
ed.Tear
sst
artf
ormi
ngi
nmyey
esbef
oret
hey
rol
ldown.

★SNE★

Theaudacit
ythatSi
za'
sfamil
yhasafterwhaft
hei
rdaught
erdi
dwi
tht
hatman.Iam att
he
hospi
tal
alki
ngtomyaunt yi
nthephone.
Aunt
y:"Yho,
shei
str
oubl
e"

Me:
"somuch"

Aunt
y:"begl
adshei
sGod.Justbest
rongf
orhi
m andt
hengety
ourman."

Me:
"Iwi
l
l.Ihav
eto"

Aunt
y:"Iwi
l
lcomeandv
isi
ttomor
row"

Me:
"Iwoul
dappr
eci
atet
hat"

Aunt
y:"hei
smysoni
nlawaf
teral
l"

Me:
"dr
essni
cel
y"

Aunt
y:"Iwi
l
lnanadon'
twor
ry."

Ismi
l
e.

Me:
"thanky
ou"

ShehangsupandIt
urnar
oundandl
ookatl
i
fel
essAi
za.Iwal
ktowar
dshi
sbedandt
henIki
ss
hi
sforehead.

Me:
"comeback.Il
ovey
ouandwewi
l
lfi
ghtt
hisv

Isi
gh"

★SI
ZA★

Ihavebeencr
yingforat
least30mi
nutes.Ther
ewasaknockont
hedoorandi
twasnhl
anhl
a.I
unlockedt
hedoorsandheopenedthem.

Nhl
anhl
a:"noonet
ouchedy
ou?"

Ishookmyheadli
keababyandhewhi
stl
edandi
lookedback.Hewast
alki
ngt
osomeKasi
l
ookingguybef
orehegoti
nthecar
.

Nhl
anhl
a:"i
sil
ktakey
out
omyhouse"

Isni
ff
ed.

Nhl
anhl
a:"don'
twor
ry."
HowcanInot?
"

Hest
art
edt
hecarbef
oredr
ivi
ngof
f.

Tobecont
inued

~UNSEENPAI
N~

I
NSERT45

Iam sti
ll
frozenandlostinthoughts.Idon'tknowwhatt ot
hinkofsay.It'
sall
myf aul
tthat
SiyandaI
sar r
ested.Maybehi smot herhasev er
yri
ghtt
onotl i
keme, Lookwher ehissonis
becauseofme. Mybr eathi
nghinchedasal umpchokesmyt hroat,
ItrytobreathandIopen
thewindowabi ttogetsomeai rbecauseIam suf f
ocat
ing.

"
Thi
nkoft
hebabySi
za"

Ihearavoi
cebutitsoundsdi
stance.Ahandonmythighasasi
mplegestur
esnapsmebackt
o
myr eal
i
tyandoutofthefr
ust
rati
onIam i
n. Il
ookathiminmygl
ossyeyes.

Nhl
anhl
a:"Br
eat
he"

It
ri
edtobreat
hslowly,Iswall
owedandcoughedabi
thol
dingmychestandt
henmybr
eat
hing
wassl
owlycomingtogether
.

Nhl
anhl
a:"That
'si
t.Don'
twor
ryabouthi
m"

Il
ookathi
m.Howcoul
dhesayIshoul
dwor
ryabouthi
m?

Nhl
anhl
a:"Hei
sgoi
ngt
obeok"

Me:
"(sof
tl
y)i
t'
smyf
aul
t"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Don'
tthi
nkt
hat"

Il
ookdownatt
ear
sst
ream down.
Me:
"Iam sor
ry.I.
.Ishoul
dn'
thav
ecamei
ntohi
sli
feI.
..
"

Nhl
anhl
a:"don'
tbl
amey
our
sel
f.Justconcer
ntr
ateont
hebaby,
Iwi
l
lhandl
eev
ery
thi
ng"

InoddednotsureIcoulddothat,thatIcannotj
ustsi
tandthi
nkev er
ythi
ngi
sok.Ican'
twait
.I
tr
ytocalm downtil
lwegettohishouseandwegetout . Iam f
oll
owinghimli
kealostki
dand
wegetinthelounge.Ndaloi
ssitt
ingwi t
honeofherkids.Shestandsupimmediat
elywhenshe
seesus.Herhousei sbeaut
if
ulandhaswar mthandafemini
netouchaswell
.

Ndal
o:"Nhl
anhl
a"

Shel
ooksathi
m andheki
sseshercheekbef
orechangi
ngcarkey
s.

Nhl
anhl
a:"Si
yandai
sar
rest
ed.Ineedt
ogoandsor
tthatout"

Ndal
o:"
what
?"

Nhl
anhl
a:"Si
zawi
l
lbest
ayi
ngwi
thy
out
il
lIhav
esor
tedev
ery
thi
ng"

Hei
soutbyt
het
imeshewant
sfur
therexpl
anat
ions

Ndal
o:"Nhl
anhl
a"

Sherushesoutoft
hedooraswell
.Idon'tknowwhattodo, shoul
dIsitdownorstandher
eand
waitf
orhertocomeback.It
'saknownfactNdalodoesn'
tl
ikeme.Shej ustt
oler
atesmefort
he
sakeofdoingi
t.Eversi
ncemeandSiyandastar
tedshehast ur
nedlef
tonme.Shecomes
backandshelooksatme.Hereyeisnotpleasi
ng.

Ndal
o:"Whendi
dyouar
ri
vei
nDur
ban?"

Me:
"af
ewday
sago"

Iam st
il
lst
andi
ng.

Ndal
o:"Mmmh"

Shet
akesherson.

Ndal
o:"Youcansi
tdown."

Isatdownandshewal
kedupt
hest
air
sleav
ingmeal
onei
nthel
i
vingr
oom.

★SNE★
Ihel
dhi
shandandi
twasdr
y. Isear
chedmybagforanyhandlot
ionandhi
smot
herwal
kedi
n
thewar
d,Il
ookedupt
oherbef
orestandi
ngupt
oshowherrespect.

Me:
"Mr
sBi
yase"

Shecamebyandst
oodnextt
oherson.

Mr
sBi
yase:
"hei
sar
rest
ed"

Me:
"Who?"

Mr
sBi
yase:
"theonewhoshothi
m"

Me:
"oh"

Mr
sBi
yase:
"Ican'
tbel
i
eveIam af
ool
"

Me:
"Howdi
dyouknowi
t'
shi
m ?"

Shet
urnedandl
ookedatme.

Mr
sBi
yase:
"TheCCTVi
nst
all
edi
nthehouse,
thepol
i
cesear
chedandf
oundt
heev
ent
s"

Me:
"ohIsee"

Iswal
l
owed.

Her:
"Hewasi
nDur
ban"

Me:
"Goodt
hinghei
sfound"

Shenodsandhol
dsAi
za'
shand.

Mr
sBi
yase:
"Iam comi
ngf
orSi
za,
shedoesn'
tknowme"

Shesay
sasangerwaswr
it
tenonherf
ace.Il
ookedather
.Si
zamessedwi
tht
hewr
ongone
wit
hherman.

★KAMOGELO★

Igotintheki
tchenandIfoundMom st
andi
ngbythesi
nklooki
ngoutsi
dethewindow. Ist
ood
ther
ef orawhil
eexamini
nghermovementforawhi
l
ebutshedidn'
tmove.All
shedidwas
wonderhereyesaround.
Me:
"Mama"

Iwalkedcl
oserinsi
de,towardsherandshedi
dn'
trespond.Shewassti
l
lsi
l
ent,
.Ist
oodbehi
nd
herandtouchedhershoulderandshej
umpedandIsteppedbackandshet
urnedar
ound.She
wipedhertear
s.

Me:
"Ar
eyouok?"

Mom :
"Iam ok"

Il
ookedatt
hef
loorandt
her
ewer
ebl
ooddr
opl
ets.Il
ookedatherhandsandt
heyar
eful
lof
bl
ood.

Me:
"Whyar
eyourhandsbl
oody?"

It
ookt
hem t
othesi
nkandshewi
nced.Iopenedt
hewat
eront
hem andwashedof
fthebl
ood.

Mom :
"EmaKamgel
o!"

Herwr
istwascut
.

Me:
"Mama!
"

Mom :
"What?"

Tear
sweldedinmyeyes.If
eltdef
eat
ed.Iwr
appedherwr
istwi
thadi
shcl
oth.Shet
ookt
he
kni
fethat
'si
nthesi
nk.

Mom :
"youdi
stur
bedme"

Me:
"Your
eal
l
ywantt
oki
l
lyour
sel
f?!Whataboutme?
!"

Mom :
"Youwil
lbeok.Iam not,
Iam notcopi
ngwi
thy
ourf
ather
'spassi
ngKamogel
oInev
er
wi
ll
cope!!
!"

Me:
"Iam her
emama"

Shebur
stsi
ntoacr
yandi
hugher.

Me:
"Pl
easemama"

Mom :
"Iwanthi
m,Ial
way
sthi
nkanddr
eam ofhi
m.Ican'
tl
iv
ewi
thouthi
m.It
ri
edbuti
t'
shar
d,
i
t'
sver
yhard"

Me:
"Ican'
tl
iv
ewi
thouty
oumama"

Mom :
"Kamo"

Shesni
ff
edandaoasI
.
Me:
"Pl
ease"

★SI
YANDA★

Det
ect
ive:
"Wef
oundy
ou.Themi
nuett
heysawy
ourv
ideot
heyknewwhoy
ouar
e"

Me:
"Canweopenacaseagai
nstAi
zaBi
yase?"

Iputmyf
eetont
het
abl
eandhel
ookedatme.

Hi
m:"Forwhat?"

Me: "Domest
icvi
olenceagainsthi
sexwi
feandi
tshoul
dn'
tbesweepedundert
hecar
pet
becauseIwil
ldomor ethankil
li
nghomeughmyownhands."

Hi
m:"y
ouknowal
lthaty
ouar
esay
ingr
ightnowi
sev
idence?
"

Me:
"Sur
e"

Hi
m:"Sheshoul
dopeni
t."

Me:
"Sur
e.Backt
ome"

Hi
m:"Di
dyoushootAi
zaBi
yase?"

Me:
"Whatdoy
out
hink?"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Thedooropened.

"It
hinkt
hisi
nter
rogat
ionshoul
dn'
thav
est
art
edwi
thoutme,
hisl
awy
er"

Heouthi
sbr
ief
caseont
het
abl
eandl
ookedatt
heDet
ect
ive.

Det
ect
ive:
"Pr
epar
eyear
sinpr
ison"

Lawy
er:
"Pl
easel
eav
eus"

Thedet
ect
ivel
ookedatusbef
orehet
ookhi
srecor
derandwal
kedout
.

Me:
"getmeout"

Lawy
er:
"Iwi
l
l,don'
twor
ry"

Me:
"Sur
e"
Lawy
er:
"Nhl
anhl
aisonhi
sway"

Me:
"Ok"

Isi
ghedandsatback.

Me:
"Si
zaneedsme"

Henods.

★SI
ZA★

Ndal
ocomesdownt
hest
air
saf
tersomet
imeandIl
ookupt
oherandshest
andsi
nthemi
ddl
e
oft
heroom.

Me:
"Ndal
oI.
..
"

Shei
nter
rupt
edme.

Ndal
o:"Ihear
dyouar
eexpect
ing,
isi
thi
s?"

Me:
"of
cause,
howcany
ouaskt
hat?"

Ndal
o:"Idon'
tknow"

Me:
"Pl
easet
ell
mewhat
'sy
ourpr
obl
em wi
thme?"

Ndal
o:"Idon'
thav
eapr
obl
em wi
thy
ouSi
za.Youar
enott
hatspeci
al"

Me:
"ist
her
esomet
hingwr
ongIdi
d?"

Ndal
o:"of
cause"

Me:
"what?"

Ndalo:"i
t'
sjust..
.Idon'
twantyoutogothr
oughwhatIwentt hr
ough,seewhatIhav
eseen,
donewhatIhav edownal l
inthenameoflove.It
'snotroseswi
ththemenwedateandmar r
y
Siza,Iam happyforyoubecauseIknowSiyandawil
ltr
eatyougoodbutIam t
ryi
ngtopr
otect
you"

Me:
"fr
om what?"

Ndal
o:"f
rom ev
ery
thi
ng."
Me:
"what
'st
hat?"

Ndal
o:"f
orgetIsai
dany
thi
ng"

Shewal
kedt
owar
dst
heki
tchen.

Me:
"fr
om t
heCol
umbi
ans?"

Shel
ookedatme.Ndal
o:"what?"

Me:
"that
'swhywewer
eatt
hewar
ehouse"

Ndal
o:"don'
tactl
i
key
ouknow.Youdon'
t"

Shewal
kedof
f.

Tobecont
inued