July 26, 2023
Maya Shankar: How to Shape Your Identity & Goals | Huberman Lab
Podcast
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Key Takeaways
Anchor identity to your “why” rather than just “what” you do for a more fulfilling and reliable
sense of self
Harmful effects of essentialism: viewing oneself through an essentialist lens may lead to
feelings of shame when failures or challenges occur, associating them with personal flaws
Liberate yourself with “self–understanding”
One’s identity isn’t defined by rigid, unalterable traits but by an evolving collection of
behaviors, thoughts, and experiences
Abandon the concept of fixed essence and embrace the journey of self-discovery and
growth
Losing a defining element of identity can be devastating but also presents an opportunity
for growth
Maya had a career-ending injury while playing the violin at 15
Because the violin played a significant role in their life, the loss was challenging
Curiosity saved her, and that’s when the pivot to cognitive science happened
Also, when reading “The Language Instinct” by Stephen Pinker
Embrace uncertainty and open-ended curiosity for increased well-being and better
adaptation to change
People tend to fear change due to uncertainty, despite uncertainty’s potential to trigger
dopamine release
The “end of history illusion” makes individuals believe they won’t change in the future
as much as they have in the past
Small tweaks in framing can lead to significant behavior changes
Avoid framing goals based on avoiding negative outcomes (avoidance orientation)
Approach orientation vs. avoidance orientation:
Approach: frame goals positively and focus on proactive achievements. Example: “I aim
to eat healthier foods.”
Avoidance: Frame goals in terms of preventing negative outcomes. Example: “I want to
steer clear of unhealthy foods.”
3 types of empathy:
Emotional empathy: feeling what others feel
This one is the most valued
Cognitive empathy: accurately diagnosing others’ distress and offering solutions
Empathic concern: having the desire to help others
High emotional empathy can lead to burnout, especially in healthcare and first
responders
Goal Setting:
Differentiate between approach goals (pursuing something positive) and avoidant goals
(avoiding something negative)
Set goals that you personally value and have ownership over (increasing intrinsic
motivation)
Set goals in the same psychological and physiological state you’ll be in during goal
pursuit
Build in an emergency reserve or slack to allow for flexibility and avoid perfectionism
Capitalize on “fresh start” moments, like the start of a new year or new job, to introduce
new habits and patterns
“Middle Problem” (dip in motivation during the middle phase of goal pursuit):
Set shorter-term goals
Divide long-term goals into smaller, achievable milestones
Maintaining Motivation:
Use temptation bundling by pairing an unpleasant activity with an immediately
rewarding and enjoyable activity
Maintain the potency of the rewarding activity by only indulging in it when performing
the unpleasant task
Remember: Set shorter-term goals to avoid a prolonged drop in motivation
Intro
Can’t get enough of Andrew Huberman? Check out our member-only collection packed
with Huberman’s greatest tips
In this episode, Dr. Maya Shankar (@MayaUmaShankar), a cognitive scientist, and former
senior advisor to the White House, joins Dr. Andrew Huberman to discuss how identities
develop and change, the influence of beliefs on self-perception, and science-based
strategies to cope and grow through uncertain situations, redefining goals and identity
Check out Maya’s podcast, A Slight Change of Plans
Host- Andrew Huberman (@hubermanlab)
Identity Foreclosure, Identity Paralysis,
Throughlines
Early identity is shaped by what we see around us, what’s deemed successful in society
Identity foreclosure: others impose structures, limiting mindset and potential
How to embrace your true identity?
Don’t anchor identity solely to what you do, as it can make you feel lost during the
change
Focus on why you do things, the emotional connection, and human interaction
Find the core through line connecting your passions, desires, and emotional
connections
Recommended approach during change:
Identify the underlying features of what you loved doing in the past
Look for expressions of that core in other areas of life
Embrace the relationship between your actions and emotional connections
Don’t dispose of identities; they bring meaning and purpose to life
Remember: Anchor identity to your “why” rather than just “what” you do for a more
fulfilling and reliable sense of self
Identity & Adolescence; “Essence” & Shame
Childhood identities:
Observe children’s play without assuming future roles
Avoid projecting limiting future occupations
Adolescent and teen years and questioning identity:
Puberty triggers brain changes and a desire for independence
Teens want to discover their authentic selves beyond imposed structures
What is so harmful about essentialism?
Essentialism is the belief that people have inherent, unchangeable qualities that define
them
Harmful effects of essentialism: viewing oneself through an essentialist lens may lead
to feelings of shame when failures or challenges occur, associating them with personal
flaws
Liberate yourself with “self–understanding”
One’s identity isn’t defined by rigid, unalterable traits but by an evolving collection of
behaviors, thoughts, and experiences
Abandon the concept of fixed essence and embrace the journey of self-discovery and
growth
A growth-oriented mindset will make you adapt to challenges and view setbacks as
opportunities for learning and improvement
Maya’s Journey to Juilliard as a Violinist
Maya fell in love with her grandmother’s violin at age six
She learned to play by ear and was taught by an inexperienced but supportive teacher
Competitive environment at Juilliard:
Maya got accepted after attending a summer music camp and training intensely
Juilliard had many talented and driven young musicians, which was both inspiring and
intimidating
Comparing herself to others and her self-criticism affected her joy in playing
Importance of intrinsic motivation:
Intrinsic motivation and passion are crucial to maintaining joy and progress
Focusing on the process, curiosity, and the desire to improve can protect you from
external pressures
Maya’s deep curiosity and enjoyment in getting better at things are fundamental aspects of
her personality
These qualities extend beyond her musical pursuits and shape her current life as a
cognitive scientist and podcaster
Re-Creating of Self
Identity is a crucial aspect of work and life arc
Recreating and refining identity in new endeavors is essential
Losing a defining element of identity can be devastating but also presents an opportunity
for growth
Maya had a career-ending injury while playing the violin at 15
Because the violin played a significant role in their life, the loss was challenging
The injury affected her organic traits, like curiosity, causing disorientation
Playing the violin-shaped her body and nervous system
The ergonomics of playing the violin left a lasting imprint on her physicality
Loss of identity can manifest in physical and emotional ways
Coping with loss and grief can make one feel lost and disheartened
If you find yourself lost at sea, explore new interests
Maya found a turning point when she read “The Language Instinct” by Stephen Pinker
The pivot to cognitive science happened when curiosity happened
She had to cut ties with the past identity tied to the violin
Cognitive science provided a different expression of passion – intellectual curiosity
Curiosity is a self-amplifying upward spiral in the pursuit of knowledge
Genuine curiosity fuels energy and excitement for the pursuit of knowledge
Curiosity is a powerful motivator, and surprises in the pursuit of knowledge can be more
exciting than predicted outcomes
Change, Cognitive Closure, End-of-History
Illusion
Cognitive closure, the need for clear answers, can hinder resilience and well-being in the
face of change
Embrace uncertainty and open-ended curiosity for increased well-being and better
adaptation to change
People tend to fear change due to uncertainty, despite uncertainty’s potential to trigger
dopamine release
The “end of history illusion” makes individuals believe they won’t change in the future
as much as they have in the past
Emphasize curiosity about yourself and regularly audit your own change experiences to
understand how you evolve
Change in one area of life can profoundly affect other aspects due to the complexity of
human psychology and ecosystems
We are often poor cognitive forecasters, struggling to predict how changes will impact us
because we forget our dynamic nature
Self-Awareness & Critical Feedback
Negative experiences often have salience due to our nervous systems’ instinct to keep
us safe
Encourage self-reflection by seeking feedback from others, even those with differing
opinions
Caring about what others think can help us be mindful of our impact on others and
make positive changes
Feedback is valuable for personal growth and improvement, both in academic and
online environments
Integrate feedback in a constructive manner, acknowledging that others might have
valid perspectives
Foster an environment of direct feedback and disagreement to encourage open dialogue
and learning
Tools: Flexible Mindset; Reframing & Venting;
Gratitude
Flexible Mindset:
Approach all endeavors with humility and openness
Update opinions, belief systems, and strategies based on incoming information
Value the ability to update and maintain a dynamic mindset
Leadership is a willingness to update, not just strong convictions
To learn how to be a great leader, check out these notes
Reframing & Venting:
Use distancing techniques like thinking about problems from a third-person
perspective to gain objectivity
Seek critical feedback from friends and embrace honest assessments
Encourage friends to challenge your thinking and help you reframe situations
Avoid counterproductive venting and instead focus on constructive advice
Gratitude:
Practice gratitude for positive feedback and experiences
Receiving gratitude has positive effects on neural circuitry and neurochemistry
Internalize and marinate in positive messages to counteract the natural tendency to
overweight negative experiences
Tool: Framing Goals & Agency in Goal Pursuit
To internalize a real sense of possibility and change behavior, focus on verb states that
invoke action and agency
Small tweaks in framing can lead to significant behavior changes
Avoid framing goals based on avoiding negative outcomes (avoidance orientation)
Approach orientation vs. avoidance orientation:
Approach: frame goals positively and focus on proactive achievements. Example: “I aim
to eat healthier foods.”
Avoidance: Frame goals in terms of preventing negative outcomes. Example: “I want to
steer clear of unhealthy foods.”
Endowment effect – the power of “earned”:
Highlight the sense of ownership and achievement
Motivate individuals to take action based on earned benefits Example: “You have
earned this benefit through your years of service.”
Set your own targets and establish a sense of personal agency
Avoid letting others entirely dictate your goals and targets
Example: Determine your exercise routine and intensity, based on your preferences and
capabilities
The desire for control is a natural human inclination
Use this desire to your advantage by being in control of your goals
As always, prioritize activities that ignite your passion and creativity
Tool: Like-Minded People & Goal Pursuit;
Challenging Beliefs
Benefits of being in like-minded groups:
Motivation and goal achievement
Witnessing failure and vulnerability in others can increase resolve
Finding support and shared values in the pursuit of goals
Dangers of being in like-minded groups:
Limiting one’s frame of mind and perspective
Beliefs and opinions are strongly influenced by group identity
The danger of being trapped in an echo chamber
How to challenge like-minded thinking?
Use a thought experiment: imagine life in a different context to see the non-precious
nature of beliefs
Understand how group affiliations shape perception and judgments
Learning from Daryl Davis’s approach:
Recruiting agency
Avoiding questioning humanity
Genuine curiosity
Ask, “What evidence would change your mind?” to encourage openness to new
information
Building Self Narratives: Empathy, Burnout
3 types of empathy:
Emotional empathy: feeling what others feel
This one is the most valued
Cognitive empathy: accurately diagnosing others’ distress and offering solutions
Empathic concern: having the desire to help others
High emotional empathy can lead to burnout, especially in healthcare and first
responders
Cultivating cognitive empathy and empathic concern helps against burnout
Building self-narratives and empathy:
Self-understanding via cognitive empathy leads to self-compassion
All ways of expressing empathy are equally valuable
Empathy can be experienced in a multitude of ways
Being selective about the kind of empathy you invest in
Tools: Goal Setting, “Middle Problem”,
Maintaining Motivation, Peak-End Rule
Goal Setting:
Differentiate between approach goals (pursuing something positive) and avoidant goals
(avoiding something negative)
Set goals that you personally value and have ownership over (increasing intrinsic
motivation)
Set goals in the same psychological and physiological state you’ll be in during goal
pursuit for better judgment
Build in an emergency reserve or slack to allow for flexibility and avoid perfectionism in
goal pursuit
Capitalize on “fresh start” moments, like the start of a new year or new job, to
introduce new habits and patterns
Middle Problem:
Acknowledge the dip in motivation during the middle phase of goal pursuit
Set shorter-term goals to reduce the length of the middle phase
Divide long-term goals into smaller, achievable milestones
Maintaining Motivation:
Use temptation bundling by pairing an unpleasant activity with an immediately
rewarding and enjoyable activity
Maintain the potency of the rewarding activity by only indulging in it when performing
the unpleasant task
Remember: Set shorter-term goals to avoid a prolonged drop in motivation
Allow for flexibility and avoid perfectionism
Aversion & Memory:
Apply the peak-end rule by elongating aversive experiences with slightly less intensity
at the end
Reinforce positive memories in enjoyable experiences by making the end more intense
Consider tailoring the approach based on individual preferences and reactions to
experiences
Huberman Lab :
change and transformation, cognitive science, goal setting, health, identity development,
Maya Shankar, mindset, self-awareness
Notes By Dario
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