My Sun, My Star

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/53120608.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/M
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Relationship: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Characters: Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel),
Tony Stark
Additional Tags: Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes & Winter Soldier are
Different Personalities, GN Reader, Pregnant Reader, Protective Bucky
Barnes, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Hurt
Bucky Barnes, hurt comfort, Breaking and Entering, Mild Language,
Blood and Injury, Minor Violence, the Winter soldier learns emotions,
Established Relationship, Boyfriend Bucky, like one use of Y/n,
Decently translated Russian, (better than google translate anyway lol)
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2024-01-18 Words: 6,755 Chapters: 1/1
 My Sun, My Star
by Cosmos_coma

Summary

You wait up late for your boyfriend Bucky to return from his mission, but it isn't Bucky who
finds you...

Notes

Translations of Russian provided in bold

Your eyes blinked slowly, heavier with each passing second, yet you still managed to open
them once again. Glancing at the bright white numbers of the digital clock you watched it
change to 1:46 AM, causing a groan to pull from your lips. Bucky was supposed to be back
tonight (yesterday technically) from his latest mission, but he still had yet to show up at your
shared flat.

You checked your phone again, the lack of notifications mocking your tired eyes. You let out
one more sigh before you turned off the mindless babbling of the TV and stood up to get
ready for bed. You were sure Bucky wouldn’t want you waiting up so late in your current
condition anyway, he had been harping you about getting enough sleep and water and
everything in between.

“ I’m only four months pregnant, Bucky. I’m fully capable of staying up late” You had said to
him.

“Five months, Doll, and it’s about your cortisol levels. It’s not good for you or the baby, and
it could lead to them being underweight” he said, reciting exactly what the doctor had told
him during your last checkup.

“Four and a half,” you argued as you stuck your tongue out at him, “and she was talking
about getting chased by a bear kind of stress, not staying up to watch Bake Off.”

You snorted at the memory of just earlier that week, a small smile coming to your face as you
went through your nightly routine. You continued to check your phone here and there as you
went, “Did you get back safe? How’d your mission go?” you had texted two hours ago, yet it
still remained unread and unanswered.

‘ Maybe one more quick text wouldn’t hurt,’ you thought to yourself as you typed out the
simple message and hit send.

“Stay safe, okay? I love you.”

You sighed as you set the phone down, “it’s okay, everything is okay,” you assured yourself
as you pulled one of his large hoodies over your head, enjoying the way the hem brushed
against your bare thighs and the sleeves threatened to swallow your hands. “He’s a former
assassin and a super soldier! Nothing is going to happen that he can’t handle,” You stated
firmly to your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes remained unsure despite your voice’s
conviction, but you did your best to ignore it, focusing instead on the achingly tired look they
held.

“Yes, I know. It’s finally time for bed, little one,” you mumbled sleepily as you felt your baby
kick against the walls of your protruding belly, being quick to climb between the layers of
blankets and lonesome sheets. “Fuck, that's cold…!” you swore quietly as your bare legs hit
the icy fabric- having gone unwarmed by your personal space heater and super soldier.

Thankfully sleep came easily, the thought of waking up to Bucky’s sleepy, scruffy face only
further urged your body to wind down so the moment would come sooner.

----

Bucky’s phone buzzed again in his bag, lighting up with your smiling face as your text
displayed on the screen, but nobody reached down to check it, as everyone found themselves
in a far more urgent situation.

“Keep him busy, Rodgers! I just need one more minute!” Tony yelled as he dug through the
equipment in the quinjet, “For fuck’s sake, who organized this last?”

“What do you think I’m doing…!” The blond grunted with a justified hint of frustration,”
Sam? Any help??” He shouted with a pointed look, telling more than asking as he struggled
to restrain his thrashing friend. A swift metal fist flew toward his already battered face, barely
giving him time to duck out of the way and attempt to restrain it again.

“Honestly? Seems like you’ve got this one,” Sam said, holding up his hands.

“SAM.”
“I’m coming..! God, can’t either of you old men take a joke?”

No one knew exactly what happened, Bucky had gone off on his own in the Hydra base they
were exploring. It was supposed to have been recently abandoned, something about the
agents leaving in an urgent rush that left files upon files sitting out in the open. It was
supposed to be a simple mission; everyone goes off in teams, gathers what they can, and
makes sure there are no surprises. But Bucky assured them that he would be fine to go on his
own, he hadn’t had a sign of relapse in over a year, and he would only be picking up what
looked important. A simple job.

He should’ve listened.

It was when he didn’t return to the jet with the rest of them that they started to get worried.

“So, where’s the Manchurian candidate?” Tony jested, looking at his watch. They were
supposed to leave maybe 10 minutes ago, not terribly late by any means, but enough to start
getting worried about Bucky’s quietness over the coms.

“Man, come on.. ” Sam sighed at Tony’s joke as he crossed his arms.

“Bucky?” Steve tried calling over the coms, ignoring both of his teammates, but the line
remained all too quiet.

They found him finally in the basement level of the office building, old discarded computers
lining the walls along with cabinets upon cabinets of old files and other equipment. He hadn’t
even realized it was a trap until he stepped right into it, triggering a switch that had the
computers and hidden speakers flashing images and sounds that assaulted his senses with
fragmented memories long forgotten.

He should have listened.

Sam had found him first, on his knees in the middle of the floor with hands desperately
covering his ears, trying to block out the incessant noise. Hauling his teammate to his feet, he
rushed back to the jet, calling everyone off from their search before anything else could be
sprung.

At first, they thought he might be fine- quiet, but fine. He had given them a small smile and a
wave of his hand as everyone tried to check in with him, taking a seat as the jet took off to go
home. It had all seemed relatively normal until they were halfway back and the unseen battle
inside him must have taken a turn.

“Got it!” Tony yelled as he pulled out the dart gun, aiming quickly as he fired two shots into
Bucky’s chest, readying a third as he waited and watched for the tranquilizers to finally take
effect. It was slow as Bucky continued to struggle against the drug’s drain, his body and mind
turning into slow-moving molasses. Low grunts emanated from his throat as the last of his
strength ebbed away, leaving nothing but forced sleep in its wake.

“Was two really necessary?” Steve asked as his shoulders finally relaxed, the strain and
worry now temporarily over.

Together they dragged the drugged-up assassin into the jet’s small quarantine area for the
remainder of the trip, satisfied only when they heard the mechanical locks slide into place. It
wasn’t much, and they knew that and if he really wanted to there would be no stopping him
from getting out, but it was something- enough to give them a few seconds of preparation if
nothing else.

“I’m not giving a super soldier only a single dose, you two metabolize things like this way
too fast and I’m not taking any chances with the Tin man over there.”

Bucky- no, the Winter Soldier, seemed to still be out of it when they finally landed, sat up
and leaning against the wall, head slumped forward just as they had left him.

“Alright, let's just get him into one of the holding rooms for the night. We’ll work on
resetting him-” Tony lifted his hands as the two men glared in his direction, “- on ‘fixing him
up’ as soon as he’s been secured.”
Sam shook his head as Tony corrected himself, taking notice of the lit-up phone in Bucky’s
bag, buzzing with an only recently delivered message. Sam had quickly become one of your
closest friends after you were introduced to the team. He was one of the few people Bucky
trusted with his life and between his sarcastic jokes, his incredibly loyal nature, and his
willingness to give Bucky shit whenever he deserved it, you knew very quickly how great a
friend he would be.

But now his stomach twisted as he saw your name flash across the screen, the alert quickly
minimizing itself as it joined the other messages you had sent that night. How was he gonna
break this to you? The last thing you needed was a bunch of unnecessary stress on your
shoulders, but it’s obvious you were beginning to worry over their late return. Sliding the
phone back into its rightful place Sam told himself that he’d call you once they had things
more figured out.

“Heart rate still seems to be resting. With any luck, he’ll remain knocked out until we get
inside,” Tony relayed as he monitored the Soldier’s vitals and pressed the button to open the
heavy quarantine doors.

The doors slid into their resting positions with a soft click .

As soon as that click landed on sensitive ears, vibrant blue eyes shot open. Sparing not even a
second, the Winter Soldier surged forward from his seat, not nearly as far gone as he left
them to believe. With the element of surprise, the Soldier easily knocked past his teammates,
throwing his body weight against them and knocking Sam and Steve off balance, leaving him
a good headstart as he dashed out the jet’s open door.

“Fuck, Bucky- Wait!,” Steve swore as he stumbled out behind him, having to use his super
soldier speed just to keep pace. But between the settled darkness of the night, and the
winding alleyways the brunette stuck to, Steve was left falling behind in no time. “Shit,”
Steve swore as he slowed to a stop, looking around for any sign of his compromised friend.

However, the streets lay barren, the fluttering of moths in the streetlights the only sign of life
on the entire block.

---
The heavy thud of his boots echoed against the alleyway’s pavement. He wasn't sure where
exactly he was headed as his silhouette slunk between the warm light of the streetlamps, but
part of him- a currently repressed part of him- knew that safety was bound to be just ahead.

His heart beat smoothly as he kept his pace, every other step falling in time as he rounded the
corner. Blindly, he let himself be led by instinct and his feet maneuvered the city’s countless
paths with a mind of their own. They slowed before a little apartment building and as those
emotionless eyes looked up, he knew this was it.

The lateness of the hour had almost assured that no one was around as he slipped inside,
footsteps padding up the stairs before stopping at the third floor. His heavy boots left nothing
but wet prints in their wake as he wandered down the hall, impossibly silent, as even the
notoriously creaky boards dared not announce his presence.

The closer he got, the more the back of his mind itched, as if something- someone - was
begging him not to go any further, but he refused to listen; he knew this was where he was
meant to be and where he would find what his body was so inexplicably drawn to.

With each step his head turned on a swivel, looking for the sense of safety and familiarity that
the other half of him seemed to find here- and desperately wished he wouldn’t discover. Just
as his foot was about to take another step he stopped. ‘ No. Here.’ His gut told him, turning to
the door.

His door.

Your door.

The former assassin bypassed the lock with ease, quickly slipping in before shutting the door
behind him. A dim light illuminated the living room, the little lamp you left on for him
casting its orange glow over his surroundings as he surveyed them.
A few mugs stand beside the sink, framed photos dot the wall and side tables, and a veritable
nest of blankets lay across the couch. It was obvious someone had been here, and recently. A
deep breath pulled into his lungs, causing his head to tilt to the side in contemplation as an
unfamiliar scent hit his nose, something just as earthy as it was sweet and speckled with
distant notes of… him?

“Hmmph”

His sensitive ears picked up the soft grunt from down the hall immediately. His shoulders
squared and tensed as his body leaned into a defensive position. Cautious fingers pulled the
knife from his boot, ready for whatever may come at him as he approached.

The sounds of soft breaths lead him to a door left ajar. Light just slipped past the curtains into
the darkened room. Badum… Badum… Badum… a heartbeat pulsed in his ears as he took a
step closer, leaving the door open and letting further light fall onto the source of the noise.

His wolfish gaze ran down your form as you lay there on your back, swallowed in the extra
fabric of the old sweatshirt. Your hand rested casually over your stomach as your other one
squished gently against your cheek. Your legs lay bare to the world after having kicked the
overbearing sheets away, leaving just a glance of your underwear for him to take in.

“Mmph” You grunted again as you shifted, your face now turned to him as that earthy scent
of yours gripped him like a vice and refused to let go.

Your sweet sleep became interrupted though- much to his dismay- as the phone on your
nightstand began to light up and buzz incessantly. Still, as a statue he watched as you
groaned, propping yourself up on your elbows as you went to check what your device could
possibly want at this ungodly hour.

With one loose fist, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes away, blinking consciousness back
into them until you saw Bucky’s illuminated figure before you, standing tall and quiet as he
watched you intently.
“Bucky..?” You couldn’t hide the grin that spread across your face as you saw the familiar
face of your lover lit up by the bright light of your phone screen. But the longer you looked
the more you noticed.

His eyes were all wrong, his gaze was devoid, that’s the only way you could put it. Devoid of
meaning and humanity, it seemed every gaze- every movement- was a means to an end.
Empty… save for a flicker of fear; It was probably the only thing in those eyes right now that
registered as human . The fear of someone who was lost, unknowing of their purpose, and
confused as to why your gaze was made his cold heart falter.

His expression was flat and stoic, save for the knit of confusion that pulled his brows
together. His stance was tense and prepared, the discrete knife still glittering in his hands as
he took another step forward, his head slowly shaking in response to your question.

A gasp caught in your throat as you finally understood. Glancing at your phone you saw it
was Sam who was calling, undoubtedly trying to tell you what you now already knew.

“ Soldat… ” You whispered, trying to hide the way his name sent shivers across your skin.
Your phone went black then, as you didn’t pick up in time and you were left blind by the
sudden darkness.

You and Bucky had talked about what to do if you found him like this, “ You call Sam and
Steve, Okay? You find a place to hide and you stay far away, no matter what you hear. There’s
no reasoning with him,” He had told you.

So much for that

Your phone lit up again with Sam’s urgent call, its revealing light sending ice down your
spine as you saw the man nearly standing over you now, just a hair’s breadth away.

Your hand rose slowly, shaking as you tested a reach for your phone, stopping dead in your
tracks as he let out a disapproving grunt. Your head nodded slowly as you gulped, returning
your hand to your stomach as you watched his gaze finally shift away.
With unbothered calmness, he looked toward your phone to see Sam’s face and name
scrawled across your screen. Wordlessly he reached over and pressed the ‘decline call’
button, cutting the call short and leaving you two in perfect silence once more.

Panic began to rise in your throat as his gaze turned back toward you, darkened now only by
the lack of light. With slow movements the Winter Soldier reached out, putting the knife
away as he crouched down, as if trying to attract a skittish animal.

Your whole body tensed as his reach came closer, eyes screwing shut as you waited for the
worst, “Please… Just don’t hurt her…” You whispered, fear and desperation rattling your
voice, just as it did your anxiety-filled body.

But the pain never came. Instead, the cool touch of metal fingers ran down your cheek, barely
denting your flesh as he relished in its softness. Your eyes peeked open cautiously, as his
fingers moved along the slope of your jaw, tilting your head up as he came to your chin.

His eyes had changed, you noticed, instead of being a harsh blizzard, they had now settled
into something more human, something warmer and… yearning?

“Soldat..?” You questioned as you watched his lips part, his senses focused only on the way
your body reacted to his touch. You were sure he could hear the rapid pattering of your heart
beneath your ribs, its pace only increasing as his fingers moved down your neck and to the
exposed collarbone in your loose neckline.

“ Красивый [Beautiful] ...,” was all he could reply. It came out so soft you weren’t sure you
heard it at first, it’s quiet reverence meant for your ears and your ears only. “Из-за тебя он
чувствует себя здесь в безопасности...? Замки дерьмовые, видимость слишком высокая,
но ты… [Are you why he feels safe here…? The locks are shit, the visibility is too high,
but you…] ” He continued, quiet and unbothered as if he assumed you couldn’t understand
him.

“He’s been bugging me to get better locks all week…” you replied with a huff, quickly
shutting up as his stare found your eyes again. Between Bucky’s ramblings in the night and
Natasha’s tendency to only gossip in Russian, you had made an effort to learn it; You were
still learning, and your pronunciation was shit, but your understanding had gotten far better.

“And you have a good ear…” He spoke in English this time, the vague hint of an amused
smile pulling at the assassin’s stern lips. You couldn’t help but wonder if he’d ever done that
before. If that odd little smile had been seen by anyone else- anyone still living that is.

A breath of relief left you as your lips stretched to mimic his, the tension easing out of your
body a little by little.

His metallic touch continued to linger, running down your covered chest until it settled on the
waistband of your underwear, the cool metal trailing across your ticklish skin.

“Ah, wait, Sol-” You jumped at his touch, grabbing his wrist, despite knowing you wouldn’t
have the strength to stop him if it’s what he wanted.

But instead of dipping his fingers lower, he simply tugged the oversized hoodie up, gathering
it over your chest and exposing the firm baby bump concealed below. His head tilted to the
side as he listened to the tiny heartbeat that fluttered in your belly as well as the thuds of its
little movements against your skin. Slowly, still with that inkling of a smile, he turned to look
at you, his hand hovering just above your vulnerable midsection as if awaiting permission.

Heat rose to your cheeks as you hesitated. On one hand, you felt a surprising amount of calm
under the assassin's touch, his need for your approval only increasing your sense of security.
But on the other hand, Bucky would never be able to live with himself if something happened
to you or the baby, accident or not.

“Oh. I-”

CRASH .
You nearly jumped out of your skin as were cut short by the loud noise. The door to your
apartment slammed open, surely breaking the hinges with the sheer force of it. Over a dozen
heavy boots stormed into your apartment as the lights turned on, flooding your senses and
forcing the Soldier’s attention elsewhere.

Your hand found his instantly, the heat of his calloused skin a comfort to you just the way
Bucky’s was, especially as it squeezed around yours just the same. Sitting up properly now
your sweatshirt swallowed your pregnant form once again and you peeked out to see just
what was going on.

Through The Winter Soldier’s defensive stance in front of you, his knife is now drawn once
more, you watched a small armed group, covered in black tactical gear raid your home, all
guns pointing towards you- or more accurately- the former assassin attempting to shield you.
You recognized the symbols on their vests as the team’s secondary security force, having
even met a few of them over the years. But where was the rest of the team? Where was Sam,
and Steve, and Tony?

“Step away from the civilian!” “Put your hands in the air!” “Sir, drop the knife!” They all
shouted, overlapping with each other as each of them rushed out their demands.

“Don't shoot! It’s okay! It’s okay!” You rushed.

You tried to slip your hand from his, but he only held fast, “Soldat, please… It’s okay, just do
what they say… They don’t want to hurt us. Please,” You urged, giving his hand a gentle
squeeze,

His defenses faltered as he listened to you beg him to stand down. It wasn’t the usual begging
he heard in his line of work, and coming from your lips had his walls cracking in an
unprecedented way.

He shouldn’t have looked back at your eyes, wide and pleading, as they shook his walls
further. Moving slowly he turned, kneeling before you despite the way the armed group
yelled at him not to. You just held up your hand to them, pleading for them to be as gentle
with him as he was with you.
“Мое солнце [My Sun] ...” The warm flesh of his hand came up easily to cradle your face
and a small smile pulled at him again as you leaned into his large palm. “Я только что
нашел тебя. Я не потеряю тебя снова так быстро [I’ve only just found you. I will not
lose you again so quickly]. ”

Your heart both swelled and pained for your Soldier. You looked into his eyes and saw a
sense of certainty, a sense of knowing, you hadn’t seen from him earlier. “Oh… my soldier,
my star,” Your fingers entwined with the hand holding your cheek, ”You can not lose me in
any way that would last…” You whispered to him past the shouts, the commotion, and the
tension, like you were the only two in the room.

“Sir, put the knife down!” A young squad member called again, his voice far more concerned
than his superiors. You didn’t recognize him or his number and you figured he must’ve been
new. His gun trembled in his hands as he shouted again, but as the Soldier failed to move and
the kid’s finger unexpectedly twitched, there came a sudden-

BANG.

“Ah-!” Your face twisted with pain as you pulled away, “Fuck…!” Your hands instinctively
grabbed your leg, clamping over the shooting pain in your calf that hit you- well- like a
bullet.

You winced again as you pulled one of your hands back, the raw skin of your leg angrily
letting you know that it did not like being brushed against. Warm, wet crimson covered your
fingers as you looked down, becoming slightly dizzy at how much had already covered your
palm. You were thankful it only seemed to be a graze, but the burn you already felt and
knowing you were losing blood had your stomach lurching in uncomfortable ways.

Concern painted the assassin’s expression as you recoiled away from his doting touch, but as
the unmistakable warm, metallic smell curled into his nose, his expression darkened
dramatically. What was once kind, curious blue eyes now saw nothing but red as he caught
sight of the wound slashing across your skin. His jaw set firmly, almost audibly grinding his
teeth as he stood and turned to the young kid.

You looked back at the newcomer as you tried to breathe through the pain, the horrified look
on his face telling you that he knew he was a dead man walking. His face went ghost white as
the super soldier stalked toward him and through even worse trembling hands he raised his
gun to shoot again.

“No…!”

A sickening thud rang out as the bullet hit the assassin square in his good shoulder, getting
lodged in the muscly flesh. His shoulder jerked back at the force, but it wouldn’t stop his
stride as he closed the gap. Another shot rang out, but with the solid vibranium arm now
covering the barrel it did little to help this poor dumb kid. Snatching him by the neck, you
watched as your assassin held him up until his feet kicked uselessly in the air.

Every gun immediately trained on him and with their proximity you knew they wouldn’t miss
a fatal shot if it came to it.

“Stop! Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot! Soldier, put him down!” You yelled as you maneuvered
towards the edge of the bed. “Please, don't shoot, I can fix this!” you continued, trying to
convince yourself as much as you convinced them. Familiar voices joined in on your plea as
Sam and Steve finally entered the picture, urgently trying to talk down both the Winter
Soldier and the secondary security team.

“Bucky, It’s okay... Just put the kid down, alright?” Steve tried to reason with him, “He’s
new, he doesn’t know what he’s doing yet.” Steve tried his best to stay calm and patient, but
the young man was beginning to change colors now. “Bucky, put him down before you do
something you can’t come back from.” But Bucky’s ears were deaf to the outside pleas and
the Winter soldier refused to listen.

“Ah..!” You whimpered as you tried to stand and approach the commotion. The pain in your
leg reached new heights as you tried to put weight on it, causing you to tumble to your knees
almost immediately. You clutched your belly, hoping the sudden jostle wouldn’t upset the
baby too much as you tried to get up again.

“Hold on, Y/n. Stay down for a minute so we can wrap your leg…” Sam asked of you,
moving over to help as soon as he saw the blood on your hands, “You’re losing plenty
already.”
“No, I have to…. I can’t let him get hurt,” you argued, pushing away his helpful hands as you
tried to stand again. You heard the crashing thud and rushed voices as you shakily got to your
feet, leaning all your weight on your good leg. As you looked up again you came eye to eye
with worry-filled icy blues.

“Sol-”

“Мое солнце [My Sun] ...” He interrupted, his metal arm snaking around your waist to pull
you in possessively and away from those who threatened your safety. On the other side of the
room, the nervous kid now coughed and wheezed for breath, but you were just happy to see
he was still alive.

“Please just listen to them. You’re already hurt, don’t get yourself killed…” you pleaded,
your hand barely brushing over his bleeding wound before pulling his hand to your rounded
belly. He tried to keep his expression steady, but you saw the way his eyes widened slightly
as he looked down. “She needs someone looking out for her and I can’t do this on my own. I
can’t keep away all the dangers of the world…” Your forehead rested against his as you tried
to shift your weight, whining as you gave up and moved back. You couldn’t deny that this
part of Bucky was her father too, even if he had been hidden away for ages, she was still his
too. Whether Bucky would see it the same way you weren’t sure, but right now you were just
concerned with making sure he got out of this alive.

“I can’t do this without you…”

The silence felt deafening as he considered. He never had to think about other people relying
on him, not like this. His orders had always been to leave no threats, to finish his job and
move on, no matter the cost to him. But the pain in his soft, fleshy shoulder was getting
harder to ignore. The way his blood-soaked shirt clung to his arm now climbed to the
forefront of his mind as he watched your big eyes stare back at him, desperate to understand.
He was between a rock and a hard place.

“I’ll be right beside you the whole time..” You assured him, “We both will, but please let
everyone get us some help.”

A gentle nudge pushed against his palm as his thoughts swirled around him, snapping him
back to a single line of thought and he knew then. Defeat laid heavy on his shoulders as they
slumped, accepting what must be done., “Мое солнц [My Sun] …”, He said, “Если вы так
хотите, то я не буду жаловаться [If it is what you wish, then I will not complain]. ”

You couldn’t tell just how long you had been holding the breath you let out, your muscles
relaxing as he finally held his hands up. The security squad began coming forward with an
array of cuffs, but it was Sam who stopped them this time, glancing back at you for
confirmation as he assured them that they could take it from here. Despite the arguing and the
hesitation, they seemed to relent, shifting their focus now to their injured colleague.

Both Sam and Steve looked tired but relieved as they turned to the two of you, bloody and
pained in your current state. Though they weren’t quite better; both of them looked like they
had been the unfortunate punching bag of a certain super soldier mere hours before. Sam had
bruises lining his arms from where he was surely blocking blow after blow and Steve smiled
a bit with his busted lip, dried blood still stuck in the corner of his mouth.

“Let’s get you two to the tower…”

----

The journey to the tower was quiet, your soldier never letting you out of arms reach as you
all boarded the armored truck, and made your way up the tower and to the lab.

Doctors tried to treat the both of you, but as soon as anyone dared to come close your
assassin was right there to growl them back. They’d hardly be able to get past his possessive
hands even if they could manage to get close, his touch keeping you pulled beside him at all
times.

“Soldat…” you warned him, but he was too preoccupied gathering the medical bag they had
been dropped. Coming over to you, there was no warning as he scooped you up from the
ground and set you on a table to get to work.

“Oh-!” You exclaimed as you held onto his strong shoulder, quickly getting plopped back
down on the corner of the cold metal table. A shiver ran down your skin as you shifted
against the sleek table, watching as practiced hands scoured through the medical bag,
producing everything he needed as he went about fixing up your leg wordlessly.

You were beyond thankful for the haze of the (baby-safe) painkillers as his fingers slid over
the raw flesh. Despite the gentle numbing of the painkiller your fingers still lay tangled in his
hair as he worked, only tugging in discomfort as the gauze wrapped tightly around your leg.

"Thank you..” You said when he finally finished, moving back to appreciate his work before
giving it a satisfactory nod. His eyes had grown distant again, bits of confusion and
uncertainty swirling in the storm of his eyes, and you reached out to stroke your thumb across
his cheek. His stony cool expression remained as you touched him, his mouth staying a firm
line as he instinctively leaned into your palm. You watched him for a moment before you
continued, knowing that his thoughts must be far away.

“It's your turn now, big guy.... your shoulder is still seeping and you can’t keep losing blood
like this," You urged him just as you had on the ride to the tower. He had refused to listen
then, letting nothing else occupy his mind until he knew you were fully taken care of. But
now as you sit safely before him, the only looming threats being Sam and Steve who seem to
haunt the hallway outside, he finally relented.

You moved to stand, needing the angle to effectively dig out the bullet still lodged in his
muscles, but he held you still with a single large hand on your shoulder, "Stay," he urged you
with that low rumble of his. His eyes lingered on yours, ensuring you would do as he asked
before he began to move again, gathering the supplies you would need.

He slid his bloody shirt off, revealing the weeping wound beneath and the scars of many
wounds past. You expected him to stand in front of you, maybe sit so you could take care of
him, but that didn’t seem to be the important thing right now.

He climbed up onto the cold table where you sat, curling onto his side with his back facing
the door so his wounded shoulder sat closest to you. His head lay in your lap with a look of
unmatched serenity as he pressed his forehead against your rounded belly. And there he
rested, quiet and unmoving as he took his quiet moment. But he was far too exposed like this,
far too trusting of “threats” lurking outside, and he almost reminded you of Bucky again. Was
Bucky fighting to come back…? Was the Winter Soldier trusting you to watch his back? …
or was he accepting of something you weren't sure he knew yet?
"Are you sure? It's going to be harder to take the bullet out this way. I don’t want to hurt you
more than I have to," you tried to explain as you pulled out the forceps.

But he simply shook his head, "I know my time here is short, my Sun..." he said with an even
tone, no semblance of fear to shake his voice, "Please let me enjoy it like this…."

Your voice caught in your throat as he answered, his blunt acceptance and knowing catching
you off guard. You wished beyond anything that you could soothe him, to tell him no one was
going to hurt him or take him away again. But you wouldn’t lie to him, so instead you said
nothing, Your words rasping as you replied, "Of course, My star…."

The room was quiet as you worked, the only noise the sweet mumblings from your
boyfriend's lips as he filled your baby’s ears with loving promises. His body let out a grunt
and a soft squelch as you finally tugged the crushed bullet out. Pain creased his brow but his
words never faltered and neither did the nudges or kicks he got in reply.

Carefully you cleaned up the blood, packing the wound as best you could, but you were sure
Tony and his team would be redoing it soon nonetheless.

A sigh escaped him as he heard you putting away your tools, "My Sun?" he asked.

"Yes?"

“Is it time…?”

You cast your eyes downward, looking into those confused and swirling blues as they
watched you with unbridled hope.

You nodded, wiping away the tears that welled in your eyes, “It’s time…” you whispered.
He nodded, thinking quietly as he looked down at your belly again, his hand smoothing over
the skin he’s exposed, “Will I see you two again…?”

Your heart broke at the slight waver in his voice, “Oh, my star…” you said, resting your palm
against his cheek, “It’s just like I said, ‘ you can not lose me in any way that would last’. I’ll
see you again and again, in this life and the next,” you assured as you leaned down to kiss his
temple, a small smile forming at the corners of his lips. Tears blinked from your eyes as you
continued, “I don’t know when, or for how long, but you will see us again. You can always
come home to me, and I will always be there to welcome you.” You leaned, slow as not to
scare him, and kissed him gently as he turned again to look at you.

It was awkward at first, but you didn’t mind, you couldn’t imagine the last time the Winter
Soldier had felt such gentleness, let alone a kiss.

But the moment was ripped away as the door opened, Steve, Sam, and Tony all standing in
the doorway. “We’re ready for him,” Tony said simply, “Let's get this started so my lab techs
can go home….”

-----

You watched behind thick glass as Tony and his team of technicians attached various wires
and machinery to Bucky’s body. Sam and Steve’s hands lie on your shoulders, trying to
comfort you as you watch them finish tuning and placing everything. You watched as his blue
eyes stared vacantly at the ceiling, as still as a statue as he let them do their work.

“I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to watch this…” Steve tried to comfort you, but you only
shook your head.

“No… I promised I’d see him off,” you replied, then thought with a pause, “Despite all the
warnings Bucky gave me I’m happy I got to see him face to face…”

“Well, it helps that he wasn’t trying to beat the shit out of you…” Sam mumbled, getting an
immediate nudge from you right in one of his bruises, “ Ow…okay, point taken.”
You smiled and shook your head. It was true though; despite the fear, blood, and death that
dripped from his moniker, despite the pain you endured in his presence, you would do it all
again. Bucky had hidden this part of him from you for so long, only ever showing you half of
his face. And though you know he wouldn’t like it, you’re happy to finally see him in full
light- to know and love him completely as he’s meant to be.

Tony says something that’s hard to make out through the glass, but you see him give a
thumbs up to you all so he must have been ready. He moved to the switch, hesitating for a
moment to let you say a quick goodbye.

Your Soldier’s eyes found yours right away, but there was no trace of sorrow for you to see,
no discomfort or fear. In fact, he seemed almost excited; excited and hopeful that when he
saw you next he’d have a bundle of joy to look forward to as well.

“Мое солнце [My Sun] ...” you watched him say beyond the glass.

“I’ll see you again, My stars. I’m sure of it…” You replied with a soft smile.

He had just enough time to smile softly back at you, an image now pleasantly etched in your
brain before Tony flipped the switch and the reset procedure began.

You covered your eyes quickly as Bucky’s body began to convulse, his strained grunts and
shouts breaching containment despite the way he tried to hold it all back. The sounds of pain
continued for minutes, but it felt far longer. Though, it wasn’t until it got quiet that you began
to worry.

“Is it done? Is it over...?” You asked the men on either side of you, afraid to peek past your
hands for fear of the worst.

“Doll…?” you heard the familiar voice call, gritty and rough from its recent use but still
carrying that same soft tone he used with you.
Your heart swelled, “Bucky...?”
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