31 Secrets To Get Your Friend To Like You & Fall in Love Before Asking Them Out

1/28/24, 6:54 PM 31 Secrets to Get Your Friend to Like You & Fall in Love Before Asking Them Out
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31 Secrets to Get
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Table of Contents  (#)

There’s not much that’s more frustrating than a friend
who just doesn’t like you back. You’ve been their
friend for what seems like ages, but you just can’t get
any further than being friends with them. Knowing
how to get your friend to like you isn’t something that

comes naturally. In fact, not many people know how
to do it.
That’s why there’s this magical, irritating thing called

the friend zone
(https://www.lovepanky.com/women/how-to-tips-and-
guide-for-women/how-to-get-out-of-the-friend-zone-
with-a-guy).
It’s basically a nice little place where someone puts

you when they want you in their life but don’t want to
date you. So if you like them, you’re kind of screwed.
[Read: Friend zone or interested? Ways to decode
your crush’s mind
(https://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/dating-
game/friend-zone-or-interested)]
Being in the friend zone isn’t

always bad
As much as it seems like the worst place to be when

you have strong feelings for someone, it’s actually a
good thing. It’s much easier to learn how to get your
friend to like you when you have frequent access to
them. You know them the best, and you’re always
right there.
This gives you so many opportunities to squeeze your

way past that friendship barrier and get them to like
you. Don’t look at this as a curse when it’s really a
huge blessing. [Read: Naughty ways to get out of the
friend zone in no time

(https://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/wild-
secrets/how-to-get-out-of-the-friend-zone)]
How to get your friend to like you

when you’re stuck in the friend
zone
It can be very irritating. You’re putting your feelings

on the line, not to mention your friendship. If you
want the payout to be big, you have to be willing to
risk those things.
Dating your friend isn’t easy. You have to think about

so much more than if they’ll just say yes or no.
If you’re truly ready to go for it, and you want to

know how to get your friend to like you, follow these
tips. [Read: How to be a good friend
(https://www.lovepanky.com/my-
life/relationships/how-to-be-a-good-friend)]
1. Stop letting them talk about their

crush
Or about anyone they used to or currently like. When
you become their vent, and they feel as though they
can talk to you about their feelings for other people,
you’re cutting off their ability to see you as a potential
partner.
Instead, you need to change the conversation or even

tell them you’re not a fan of hearing about the people
they have crushes on. This also sends the message
that you hope to be one of those people someday.
[Read: How to flirt with a friend – 18 ways to tease
them without being weird
(https://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/get-
flirty/how-to-flirt-with-a-friend)]
2. Don’t talk about other people you

like around them
If you like your friend as way more than just a friend,
you need to stop making them think you like other
people. You might just do this as a way to hide how
you feel, but it just makes them think that you truly
are into other people.
How are you ever supposed to get them to like you

when they’re under the impression you’re into
someone else? Keep quiet if you think other people
are attractive.
3. Compliment them in new ways

You probably have your standard friendship
compliments that they’ve heard a hundred times. Tell
them something else. Talk about how you think their
hair looks amazing or how incredible they are for
landing that promotion.
Doing this flatters them and also shows them that

you’re seeing them in a new light. When the
compliments change, they’ll pick up on the fact that
your feelings have changed, too. [Read: 50 very cute

and flirty things to say to your crush and get them
thinking of you (https://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-
flings/get-flirty/unbelievably-cute-things-you-can-say-
to-your-crush)]
4. Flirt!
A huge difference between friends and people who
are dating is flirting. If you’re not flirting with your
friend, you’ll never break down that friend zone wall.
You need to start sending the signals that you like

them, and there’s no better way than flirting.
Start making cute jokes, complimenting them in

better ways, and moving in closer. Increasing intimacy
is essential if you really want to know how to get your
friend to like you. [Read: How to flirt by subtle touch
without making it obvious
flirty/flirting-touch-flirt-by-touch)]
5. Show them your sensitive side

If your friend has never seen you being cute and
romantic, how will they ever be able to look at you
that way? Show them that you can be sensitive and
adorable. Tell them something you’ve never told
anyone else.
Opening up and showing them something very

personal can help them see you in a new light. [Read:
20 questions to ask to show her your sensitive side
(https://www.lovepanky.com/men/guy-talk/questions-
to-ask-her-to-show-your-sensitive-side)]
6. Don’t spend too much time together

You can’t spend every waking moment together
(https://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/romantic-
love/how-much-time-should-couples-spend-together)
and expect anything to change. You need to separate
and slow down.
This way, they’ll be extra excited to see you, and they

can see what life would be like without you.
Make them come to you. If they miss you, they’ll see

how much they truly need you in their life. [Read:
How to make someone realize they’re losing you
(https://www.lovepanky.com/women/how-to-tips-and-
guide-for-women/how-to-make-a-guy-realize-hes-
losing-you)]
7. Look good
As much as we all like to say we’re not shallow in that
way, physical attraction
flirty/physical-attraction-tips) is essential to a healthy
relationship. So, start dressing nicer and looking more
put together. They’ll definitely notice. [Read: How to
look sexy, be sexy, and feel sexy without trying too
hard (https://www.lovepanky.com/women/attracting-
and-dating-men/how-to-look-sexy)]
8. Sit closer than you normally do

This is all about closing the distance between the two
of you and climbing over that friend zone wall.
If they sit on the couch, sit right next to them. Getting

closer is a huge way of showing how much you like
them. [Read: How to know when to give someone
space (https://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/better-
life/how-to-know-when-to-give-someone-space)]
9. Touch them more

Physical touches increase intimacy a lot. You really
need to be actively closing that distance and showing
them that you can be sweet and gentle, too.
Next time you see each other, give them a hug. If

you’re a guy, put your hand on the girl’s lower back.
Ladies, touch him on the arms and shoulders when he
makes you laugh.
It’s those little touches that’ll ignite something new in

your friendship and will slowly turn into something
more. [Read: 20 types of physical touches and what
they mean (https://www.lovepanky.com/my-
life/relationships/types-of-physical-touches-meaning)]
10. Treat them as a significant other

and not a friend
Fake it ‘til you make it, right? Act as though they’re
already your partner. Do all the sweet and adorable
things you’d do for someone you’re dating.
Showing them this side of you and letting them know

that they could have even more of it is a perfect way
to get them to start liking you. [Read: How to
accidentally kiss a friend and get away with it
(https://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/naughty-
affairs/how-to-kiss-a-friend)]
11. Set boundaries

This isn’t what you thought you’d need to do, right?
Most people think that removing the boundaries will
make the person more into you, but that’s not the
case.
You need boundaries to show them that you’re not

going to be there for every single emotional need they
have. If they talk to you about other people, stop it.
You don’t have to be rude, but don’t reply to those
texts or take those calls.
Start creating boundaries between friends and

potential lovers. [Read: Crucial steps to setting
healthy boundaries (https://www.lovepanky.com/my-
life/relationships/how-to-set-boundaries)]
12. Don’t be clingy

When we’re insecure, we become clingy and needy
toward the person we have feelings for because we
don’t want to lose the person. It totally makes sense.
However, if you want to know how to get your friend

to like you, you should remember that it doesn’t work
the way you think it will. Instead, your clingy behavior
gives the person a red flag, alerting them that even if

they did have feelings for you, you’re annoying.
13. Confidence is key

If you move the friendship into a romantic
relationship, this person will need to see you as
someone they can be intimate with. Work on your
confidence. Show them you’re worth it.
If you act like this person’s doormat rather than

standing your ground, you won’t get anywhere. It’s
easy to throw your confidence to the side when you
like someone, as you obviously want them to be into
you. [Read: How to be confident – 28 life hacks to
transform your future forever
(https://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/better-life/how-
to-be-confident)]
14. Show them that you know what

they want
This is the big advantage that you have in the palm of
your hand. You know what they’re looking for in a
partner.
It’s not easy to transition from genuine friendship to

an intimate relationship, but you know what this
person is looking for in a partner. It’s up to you to use
your knowledge and showcase those attributes.
[Read: Friend zone hacks to get your friend to like
you more (https://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-
flings/get-flirty/how-to-get-your-friend-to-like-you-
more)]
15. Leave some mystery

Of course, they know everything about you, but you
can still add some mystery to the friendship. What
makes people curious about others? When you’re not
an open book.
Hang out with them but for shorter periods of time.

Don’t invest your entire day in them. Don’t always tell
them what you’re doing or who you’re seeing.
16. Don’t try to become an asshole

You don’t want to be just friends with them. We get
it. But this doesn’t mean that you should treat them
poorly because you’re not getting what you want.
Don’t become an asshole! If you feel resentment
toward them, it’s time to tell them how you feel.
[Read: Naughty ways to get out of the friend zone in
no time (https://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-
flings/get-flirty/how-to-get-your-friend-to-like-you-
more)]
17. Create competition

There may not be actual competition, but it doesn’t
matter. You need to create competition and show
them that other people want you.
This makes a person re-evaluate their decision and

think about you in a different light. Maybe they won’t
like seeing you with another person and will make a
move.
Sure, it’s a little sneaky, but it works. [Read: How to

impress your crush – 25 tips to steal their heart
effortlessly (https://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-
flings/get-flirty/how-to-impress-your-crush)]
18. Pay attention to their response

Now, be sure you pay attention to their response, or
you’re wasting your time. If you’re stuck in la-la land
and not paying attention to the signs, then what’s the
point?
See how they react when you flirt with them or when
you touch them playfully. Do they pull back? Do they
flirt back? This is crucial to see if it’s worth pushing
the friendship forward or not.
19. Question whether or not this is

what you want
Sometimes, we have an image of someone, and then
when we get them, the sizzle goes away. We realize
this isn’t what we want but something we want to
conquer.
Before you make any moves, be sure that this is

because you truly have feelings for them rather than
it being ego-driven. [Read: I’m in love with my best
friend – what next?!
(https://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/naughty-
affairs/im-in-love-with-my-best-friend)]
20. Talk to them about deep,

meaningful things
You can’t build a deep connection if all you ever talk
about is what you had for dinner the night before. You
need to connect on a deeper level if you want to
know how to get your friend to like you.
Come up with conversation topics that are more than

just casual conversation. Make your friend think of
you when you they go home at night. The more they
can connect with you on a deeper level, the more
they’ll start to like you. [Read: How to emotionally
connect with someone and feel closer
(https://www.lovepanky.com/my-
life/relationships/how-to-emotionally-connect-with-
someone)]
21. Turn up the charm

There’s no reason to hold back. Start charming them.
If you get them to think about you having feelings for
them, they’ll start to wonder if they feel the same.
That can kick-start some intense feelings for you, so

turn on the charm. Tell them how great they look and
how funny they are.
It’s simple enough, but it could mean a lot more than

you realize. [Read: How to be charming – 15 adorable
habits of really likable people
to-be-charming-and-liked)]
22. Start asking more about their

family
You have to start caring more about their life outside
of you, just like you would a significant other. Ask
about their family. Pay attention to their moods, and
figure out if their home life is fun.
Go over there and chat with their parents for a little

bit. When you’re good with their family, they’ll start to
imagine what it would be like to have you around all
the time, and that can make them start to like you.
[Read: How to get someone to like you more
effortlessly
(https://www.lovepanky.com/women/attracting-and-
dating-men/how-to-get-a-guy-to-like-you)]
23. Show an interest in their hobbies

You have to be involved in their lives in more ways
than just a friend would. If they see that you care
about things like their hobbies and favorite activities
outside of your friendship, it’ll mean something special
to them.
24. Tell them that you have feelings

for them
If all else fails, just tell them. Chances are that if
you’ve done all of the above things, they already
know you like them as more than a friend.
Sometimes, there’s just nothing more that you can do,
and they might not like you back.
If this happens, just separate yourself from them for a

little bit so you can get over them. This distance
might actually make your friend realize that they like
you as more than a friend, too. [Read: How to be just
friends with someone you love without losing your
mind (https://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/broken-
heart/how-to-be-friends-with-someone-you-like)
What to do if you can’t get out of

the friend zone
So you’ve tried everything above to get your friend to

like you. If you are still stuck in the friend zone, that
can really stink.
You’re probably feeling down on yourself, but try not

to feel that way. Here are some things you can do to
make yourself feel better. [Read: How to get out of
the friend zone through text one text at a time
flirty/how-to-get-out-of-the-friend-zone-through-
texts)]
1. Get a makeover
Why not change up your look? Get a new haircut, add
some highlights, or try a completely new color.
The makeover isn’t so you can change your friend’s

mind. This is all about you!
Try a new look and get adventurous. You’ll be a new

you and feel great! [Read: How to be more attractive
– 31 ways to play up your best features
flirty/how-to-be-more-attractive)]
2. Start working out!

Why not start taking care of yourself better?
We always feel better about ourselves when we look

and feel good. Plus, we should always try to be
healthier anyway, so why not start now?
3. Go on dating apps
It’s time to forget this friend as anything more. You
need to accept that it’s never going to happen, at
least in a romantic way, and that’s okay!
You need to find someone else that you can fall

(https://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/dating-
game/how-to-make-someone-fall-in-love-with-you)
head over heels for.
Try dating apps (https://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-

flings/dating-game/best-dating-apps-for-a-
relationship). That’s a great way to meet new people.
Take them seriously, and don’t just do it for
amusement or to pump up your ego.
You want to actually find someone whom you will be

a good match with. [Read: The 16 best hookup apps
you can use this year – what do you want in a hookup
right now? (https://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-

flings/naughty-affairs/best-hookup-apps)]
4. Hang out more with your other

friends
Maybe you put all your eggs in this friend’s basket.
You hung all of your hopes on the possibility that they
might like you back, and in doing so, perhaps you’ve
ignored some of your other friends.
Get back out there with them and party! Distract

yourself. Go do new things so you won’t be thinking
about the friend who doesn’t like you back.
Have so much fun with the other friends that you

don’t even think about any rejection you may have
experienced. [Read: 40 ways to have fun with friends
(https://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/work-and-
office/how-to-have-fun-with-friends)]
5. Raise your self-esteem

When a friend doesn’t like us back, it can take a toll
on our self-esteem. We wonder what’s wrong with us.
Am I not attractive enough? Is it my personality? Why
am I not good enough?
There is nothing wrong with you! You’re awesome.
Make a list of all the great qualities you have. No, this
is not narcissistic. It is an act of self-love. Writing
down the list makes you realize how great you are
and how stupid your friend is for not feeling the same
way about you. [Read: How to make anyone like you

– 25 ways to draw people closer to you
to-make-someone-like-you)]
6. Don’t take it personally

It’s easy to take this personally, but it’s not about you.
It feels like it, but it’s really not.
Think about it. Your friend likes you as a person,

right? If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be friends with you
to begin with.
But everyone has a “type.” Maybe you naturally have

blonde hair and blue eyes, but your friend really
prefers someone with dark hair, skin, and eyes. It’s
just their “thing.”
You can’t change your genetics! It’s not about you.

It’s just that they think you’re not their “type” for
some reason. [Read: How to stop being so sensitive
about everything all the time
to-stop-being-so-sensitive)]
7. Understand that it’s probably for

the best
Don’t get caught up in the “what ifs.” Stop trying to
figure out if maybe one day they will change their
mind. You can’t control that.
Whether or not they ever think of you in a romantic

way is not your business. Just assume it won’t happen
and that it’s for the best.
Now you can make space in your life for someone

who is perfect for you. You might have thought this
friend was the one, but they clearly aren’t. That’s a
good thing because now you have the opportunity to
find your perfect match!
Not every friend will like you as

more than just a friend
It’s a hard reality to come to terms with, but it’s true.

No matter how much you try, your friend just might
not like you back. There’s nothing you can really do in
this case. It’s not like you can force someone to think
of you in a romantic way.
That’s something you need to keep in mind going

forward. The truth is, you shouldn’t want someone
who doesn’t really like you. If they aren’t romantically
interested, it’s their loss.
[Read: 20 unmistakable signs your friend is crushing

on you (https://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-
flings/naughty-affairs/20-unmistakable-signs-your-
friend-is-crushing-on-you)]
Learning how to get your friend to like you

back can be especially difficult if you’ve been
friends for a very long time. Maybe you’ll
succeed, but maybe you won’t. Whatever

happens, keep a positive attitude because
that’s all you can do.
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VIN SERAI
(HTTPS://WWW.LOVEPANKY.COM/AUTHOR/VIN-
SERAI)
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and
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relationships for almost two decades. Having
dipped his feet in almo...
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31 Secrets To Get Your Friend To Like You & Fall in Love Before Asking Them Out

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31 Secrets To Get Your Friend To Like You & Fall in Love Before Asking Them Out

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1/28/24, 6:54 PM 31 Secrets to Get Your Friend to Like You & Fall in Love Before Asking Them Out

By VIN SERAI  Tweet  Share

Table of Contents  (#)

how to get your friend to like you isn’t something that

That’s why there’s this magical, irritating thing called

It’s basically a nice little place where someone puts

Being in the friend zone isn’t

As much as it seems like the worst place to be when

This gives you so many opportunities to squeeze your

friend zone in no time

How to get your friend to like you

It can be very irritating. You’re putting your feelings

Dating your friend isn’t easy. You have to think about

If you’re truly ready to go for it, and you want to

1. Stop letting them talk about their

Instead, you need to change the conversation or even

2. Don’t talk about other people you

How are you ever supposed to get them to like you

3. Compliment them in new ways

Doing this flatters them and also shows them that

your feelings have changed, too. [Read: 50 very cute

You need to start sending the signals that you like

Start making cute jokes, complimenting them in

5. Show them your sensitive side

Opening up and showing them something very

6. Don’t spend too much time together

This way, they’ll be extra excited to see you, and they

Make them come to you. If they miss you, they’ll see

8. Sit closer than you normally do

If they sit on the couch, sit right next to them. Getting

9. Touch them more

Next time you see each other, give them a hug. If

It’s those little touches that’ll ignite something new in

10. Treat them as a significant other

Showing them this side of you and letting them know

11. Set boundaries

You need boundaries to show them that you’re not

Start creating boundaries between friends and

12. Don’t be clingy

However, if you want to know how to get your friend

gives the person a red flag, alerting them that even if

13. Confidence is key

If you act like this person’s doormat rather than

14. Show them that you know what

It’s not easy to transition from genuine friendship to

15. Leave some mystery

Hang out with them but for shorter periods of time.

16. Don’t try to become an asshole

17. Create competition

This makes a person re-evaluate their decision and

Sure, it’s a little sneaky, but it works. [Read: How to

18. Pay attention to their response

19. Question whether or not this is

Before you make any moves, be sure that this is

20. Talk to them about deep,

Come up with conversation topics that are more than

21. Turn up the charm

That can kick-start some intense feelings for you, so

It’s simple enough, but it could mean a lot more than

22. Start asking more about their

Go over there and chat with their parents for a little

23. Show an interest in their hobbies