UNDERSTANDING THE SELF

MODULE 8: THE SELF AND EMOTION

EMOTIONAL SELF

Emotions are part of being human

Think of emotions as waves of energy that flow through our bodies and communicate to us. We are built
to feel a full spectrum of core emotions such as anger, fear, joy, sadness, excitement, and disgust. These core
emotions help us understand, connect, and communicate with others. They also help us to connect with
ourselves. Emotions help us understand whether we should flee from danger, stand up for ourselves, or give
someone a hug. Feeling our emotions has been an important part of our evolution and survival as a species and,
when felt fully, these emotions can help us live a more connected and full life. Unfortunately, over the years,
many humans have been taught to believe that emotions are the enemy and that they need to be tamed, pushed
down, numbed, or controlled. We have even gone so far as to label someone “emotional” or “emotionally
sensitive” as a negative connotation, instead of celebrating this incredible ability that lives within all of us.

Suppressing our emotions can lead to negative consequences down the road. Not understanding or being in
touch with your emotions can lead to some unfortunate consequences. Studies show that suppressing emotions
makes people aggressive and easily agitated. For example, if you push down feelings of anger towards your boss
during your work day, you are more likely to snap or pick a fight with your partner that evening. When you are
either blocking or trying to control an emotion that biologically needs to be felt, it can build up inside you. This
means you may feel it unexpectedly later on, which actually makes many people feel more out of control. The
more we pile up and ignore our feelings, the more overwhelming it can seem to actually feel them. This could
also lead to unhealthy behaviors, such as using substances or turning to food to numb out. In addition, other
studies show that ignoring emotional cues can lead to problems with our physical health, including higher rates
of IBS, heart disease, and lowered immunity.

If you are someone who hasn’t felt their emotions in a long time, feels overwhelmed by them, or doesn’t
understand what your emotions even feel like, you are not alone. Many people are simply not taught to be in touch
with their feelings, and educating yourself on how to regulate and feel them in a healthy and nondestructive way
is the first step.

What Are Emotions?

According to the book "Discovering Psychology" by Don Hockenbury and Sandra E. Hockenbury, an emotion
is a complex psychological state that involves three distinct components: a subjective experience, a
physiological response, and a behavioral or expressive response.

In addition to trying to define what emotions are, researchers have also tried to identify and classify the different types of
emotions. The descriptions and insights have changed over time:

• In 1972, psychologist Paul Eckman suggested that there are six basic emotions that are universal throughout
human cultures: fear, disgust, anger, surprise, happiness, and sadness.
• In the 1980s, Robert Plutchik introduced another emotion classification system known as the "wheel of
emotions." This model demonstrated how different emotions can be combined or mixed together, much the way
an artist mixes primary colors to create other colors.
• Plutchik proposed eight primary emotional dimensions: happiness vs. sadness, anger vs. fear, trust vs. disgust, and
surprise vs. anticipation. These emotions can then be combined to create others (such as happiness + anticipation
= excitement).
• In 1999, Eckman expanded his list to include a number of other basic emotions, including embarrassment,
excitement, contempt, shame, pride, satisfaction, and amusement.

Where Do Emotions Come From?

Emotions are influenced by a network of interconnected structures in the brain that make up what is known as the
limbic system. Key structures including the hypothalamus, the hippocampus, the amygdala, and the limbic cortex
play a pivotal role in emotions and behavioral responses.

The Three Components of Emotion

In order to truly understand emotions, it is important to understand the three critical components of an emotion.
Each element can play a role in the function and purpose of your emotional responses.

Subjective component: How you personally experience the emotion

Physiological component: How your body reacts to the emotion
Behavioral Component: How you behave in response to the emotion

FACTS ABOUT EMOTIONS

by Michael Miller
Emotions are part of human biology. They are chemicals that help regulate our minds and bodies, assisting us to
cope with the complexities of making decisions, interacting with people, and finding our way through life. We
feel emotions to help us pay attention, focus our attention and motivate us to action. While sometimes they’re
confusing, emotions are part of us, so we might as well learn to use them well.

1. Emotions are electrochemical signals that flow through us in an unending cycle.

They are released in our brains in response to our perceptions about the world. Emotions are released in our brains
and flow all throughout our body, all the time. They also are produced in our bodies and go to our brains.

2. There are 8 basic emotions – and countless variations and nuances of those.

The 8 basic emotions are Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust, Surprise, Anticipation, Anger and Trust.

3. Emotions function to guide us to survive and thrive.

Emotions focus our attention and motivate us toward a specific course of action. Each emotion has a
purpose. Take anger, for example. Anger is a signal that our path is blocked. It focuses our attention on the
threat and motivates a response of fighting or pushing through the obstacle. It can be used destructively, of
course, but it also gives us the energy to find solutions to pressing problems. And what about another emotion,
like Joy? Joy focuses our attention on an opportunity, and motivates us to do more of whatever we are doing.
We feel joy when we experience meaning and connection, and the purpose of the emotion is to tell us that
those are good things, which we should seek out.

4. Emotions are contagious.

Feelings spread between people like a virus, even if we’re not paying attention to emotions. Whether we’re in a
group or with one other person, we can “catch” both positive and negative emotions. The evolutionary basis of
this is simple: humans have only survived and thrived in groups. We are social creatures. And because of that, we
have a tendency to pick up on each other’s emotional states. Think about it this way. If you see fear on someone’s
face, you are more likely to survive if you react quickly – if your own fear response is activated instantaneously.
It could be the difference between getting eaten by that tiger your friend just saw – or getting away.
And it’s not just fear. We are constantly sending and picking up emotional messages through a number of
mechanisms, including voice inflection, facial expressions, posture and specific behavioral patterns. It’s an
incredibly important form of communication that we all partake in, even if we don’t realize it. It’s so deeply wired
that we unknowingly imitate the slowness of old people, which is one of my all time favorite facts about
emotions.
A study by Facebook and Cornell University found that emotional contagion even happens on social media. We
are deeply wired.

5. Emotions are absorbed in the body in about six seconds.

Each burst of emotion chemicals, from the time its produced in the hypothalamus to the time it’s completely
broken down and absorbed, lasts about six seconds. If we’re feeling something for longer than six seconds, we
are – at some level – choosing to recreate and refuel those feelings. Sometimes that’s good – if the tiger is still
chasing you, those fear chemicals are helping save your life. Sometimes it’s not. But recognizing what emotion
we are feeling, evaluating its purpose relative to our circumstances, and deciding whether to recreate it is what
emotional intelligence is all about.

How to connect to and understand your feelings:

Take a pause and observe: One of the easiest ways to start to tap into your emotions is to take a pause during the
day and check in with yourself, both physically and mentally. How are you feeling? Are you holding tension in
your body. If so, where? What thoughts are running through your mind? These are some basic questions to ask
yourself when you are taking a pause. It’s important to be nonjudgmental when you are taking a moment to
observe what’s going on with your body and mind in the present moment. Picture yourself as a detective who is
curious about your physical sensations and thoughts and how they might be connected.

Take a breath: Once you begin observing the sensations that you’re experiencing and have named some of the
feelings, take a few long and controlled breaths. Make the exhale longer than the inhale. Breathing deeply like
this activates the vagus nerve, which is a part of our bodies that helps to regulate emotions and our nervous system.
When you are breathing deeply in this way, you are helping to regulate your emotions and their intensity in the
moment.

Practice self-compassion: Remind yourself that you are human, and all humans experience a full spectrum of
emotions. Notice when you feel ashamed or uncomfortable with experiencing one of your emotions. This is likely
due to a belief or story that you were taught. Honoring all of our emotions is an amazing way to begin to accept
ourselves and practice self care. Research shows that practicing self-soothing and self-compassion releases
oxytocin in our bodies. This makes us feel calmer and more connected with ourselves and each other.

It might seem daunting and scary to begin to feel your emotions, especially if you have been out of touch with
them. However, it is important to note that emotions are fleeting and need to be felt so that we can release them.
No feeling lasts forever. The more comfortable you are with how emotions feel, the easier it will be to ride the
wave. As Alan Watts says, “if, for a change, we would allow our feelings and look upon their comings and goings
as something as beautiful and necessary as changes in the weather, the going of night and day, and the four
seasons, we would be at peace with ourselves.”