headspace Fact Sheet understanding grief and loss

understanding
grief and loss
(it’s a natural part of life)

Grief is an individual experience, it’s what happens after you

lose someone or something important to you. You don’t have Changes to thoughts
to know the person for their loss to impact you. Everyone
experiences grief differently. Our culture, gender, age, past When a big change happens in your life it can be hard not
experiences of loss, and belief systems can also affect the to think about it all the time. You might notice your mind
way we grieve. So try not to compare yourself to anyone wanders and you have trouble focusing.
else, or get too worried about the way you grieve – everyone Some people find it hard to care as much about the things
grieves differently. they normally care about. It can feel like nothing matters
compared to the loss they’ve experienced. Some people
What is grief? might think that the world doesn’t make sense anymore, and
they can’t figure out their place in it.
Grief is a normal response to loss and it can affect many
parts of our lives. Sometimes it can make the simplest task Changes in your body
feel like climbing a mountain.
Our mind and body are closely connected, so it makes sense
You might feel some or all of these: that grief can have a big impact on our bodies. You might
• shock • longing • guilt experience:
• disbelief • anger • abandonment • headaches
• pain • resentment • anxiety • body aches
• intense • regret • worry. • weight changes
sadness
• changes to your sleep
The combination of any of these feelings might make it • changes to eating routines
feel like you’re out of control. Other times you might only
feel one of these emotions, or a numbness that doesn’t
• colds

feel like anything at all. Sometimes these intense bursts • tiredness

of emotion can last for a long time, other times they can • generally feeling sick and run down.
come and go quickly.
Changes in what you do
You might notice some big changes in the sorts of things you
do or don’t do. After a big loss, some people feel like doing
nothing. They can have trouble finding the energy to keep up
with day-to-day life. They might not want to see their family
and friends, or withdraw from doing things they enjoy.
Other people find that keeping busy helps them to get
through the day.
How long will this go on for?
It’s hard to know how long grief will affect you because
everyone’s experience is different. However, it’s important to
know that eventually, things will get easier.
It might be helpful to think of grief like the ocean. Sometimes
the power of the ocean is so strong you can feel out of
control. Other times it feels manageable and you are able to
drift along with the waves. The pain of grief can come in huge
waves, smaller waves or sideways waves. Sometimes there
might be waves you didn’t see coming, and sometimes there
are periods of calm between the waves.
What else should I look out for?
When you’re experiencing grief, you might have trouble
maintaining relationships and feeling connected to others.
You might not be as patient when you’re grieving, or you
might find you get in conflict with people more often. This can
be hard, because staying connected to others can be a really
important part of getting supoprted while we grieve.
Grief isn’t depression. But it’s important to know that grief can
leave you vulnerable to experiencing depression in the future.
If you’re not sure what’s happening for you, it can be helpful
to reach out for support.
During tough times, some people can turn to alcohol
or other drugs to try to get through the pain. This
might feel helpful at the time but it can create other
problems and you might be more likely to say or do
things you’ll regret.
If you or someone you know is going through
a tough time you can get help and support
from headspace, your school or university
wellbeing service or your local health provider.
For more information, to find your nearest
headspace centre, or for online and telephone
support, visit headspace.org.au
headspace National Youth Mental Health Foundation is funded by the Australian Government Department of Health
What can I do to help with my grief?
Grief, and everything that can come with it, can be really
intense. If you’ve experienced loss there are things you
can do.
Healthy habits
Doing simple things for your physical health can really help
you handle the challenges of grief. Start with little goals, like
fitting in some fruits and veggies and drinking enough water.
Staying active and locking in good sleeping habits can also
help.
Get into life
You might not feel like it but doing things can be on of the
best ways to help things improve. Find something that works
for you like playing or listening to music, walking, hanging out
with friends, watching movies, playing sports or reading.
Take it easy on yourself
Being kind to yourself is a good idea at all times, but even
more so when you’re having a tough time. Remind yourself
that grief hurts, it’s hard and it takes time to heal. Feeling
confused, overwhelmed, angry (or anything else) and having
a cry is OK.
How can I get help?
If you’re finding it hard to cope and/or your social, work or
school life are being affected, then it’s a good idea to ask for
support.
Find someone you trust and let them in on what you’re going
through. If you’re feeling up to it, let them know what you
need from them. Maybe you just need them to listen, or
maybe you need a distraction to get you through tough days.
If you want professional support, you have lots of options.
You can:
• contact Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800 ) or Lifeline (13 11 14)
• check in with your local GP (general practitioner).
If you need immediate assistance call 000
or to speak to someone urgently, please call
Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Suicide Call Back Service
on 1300 659 467.
The headspace Clinical Reference Group have approved this clinical resource.
Fact sheets are for general information only. They are not intended to be and should not
be relied on as a substitute for specific medical or health advice. While every effort is taken
to ensure the information is accurate, headspace makes no representations and gives no
warranties that this information is correct, current, complete, reliable or suitable for any
purpose. We disclaim all responsibility and liability for any direct or indirect loss, damage,
cost or expense whatsoever in the use of or reliance upon this information.
Version 1.4, 05 July 2021