ou Are Not Your Thoughts

Listen closely because what I’m about to share with you may help release
years of unnecessary stress, confusion, and emotional exhaustion. Simply
put: You are not your thoughts. Please repeat that to yourself three more
times, as it can be an important realization on your path to emotional
peace. Yes, the brain is a powerful thing and when we focus on our goals,
we can make them happen. But… it’s not our thoughts themselves that
bring things to fruition, it’s our actions.

The premise that we are our thoughts and that somehow just thinking (or
even obsessing!) about something will draw that energy to us and
magically make it happen is just that: magical.

If our thoughts, alone, were that powerful, then the world would have ended
many a century ago (think about how long doomsayers have been
predicting the end of time). Our population would probably be at most a
quarter of what it is today (think about all the worries that plague the minds
of most parents). And almost all of us would be dead or dying at this very
moment due to concerning thoughts, which include deadly diseases,
accidents, and, well, the fear of death itself.

Although Freud proposed that thoughts are innately related to who we are,
the more modern system cognitive behavioral therapists follow is that
thoughts are merely thoughts — not indicators that paint a picture of who
we are. In fact, thoughts are often in direct opposition to the thinker. People
who suffer from OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and anxiety often
ruminate about the darkest of fears, as they have been shown to actually
be more conscientious than the average person and, thus, obsess about
whatever horrid thoughts come to the surface because they are so horrified
that they are having them.
In her piece, “Bizarre Thoughts and Me: Confessions of an OCD
Therapist,” psychotherapist Stacey Kuhl Wochner shares this: “I am a
therapist who treats Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and I have
bizarre thoughts. Here is my big revelation. We all have them. It’s not just
you. And I do not have OCD.” She then shares a long list of many bizarre
thoughts that she had recorded in just a few weeks’ time. Here is a
sampling: “I had a thought that I didn’t want to leave fibromyalgia in the
search box of my phone, lest I get it; I had a thought about punching my
husband in the face in bed… and I wasn’t even mad at him; I had a thought
that I should tear up the paper with my parents address on it before
throwing it away to keep them safe.”

Wochner states that there are still common misperceptions about thinking
that include how thoughts are meaningful links to the inner being of the
thinker, and how our thoughts are sometimes considered bad omens for
the future. In other words, we’re all taking our thoughts too seriously — and
need to learn how to let the negative ones float on by. An answer, by the
way, to the misperception that thoughts can be considered bad omens, it’s
imperative to remember that statistically, bad things are going to happen
whether we think about them or not. On the other side of the coin, it’s also
important to note here that our more positive thoughts can not only help us
realize our goals but may be good for our health as well.

A New York Times article by Jane E. Brody titled “A Positive Outlook May
Be Good for Your Health,” notes that in a study about participant’s views on
aging, positive thoughts “can enhance belief in one’s abilities, decrease
perceived stress and foster healthful behaviors.” Researchers have also
found that positive emotions can boost the immune system, counter
depression, lower blood pressure, and decrease heart disease. In this way,
when our thoughts are focused on the positive, they can be seen as
magical! But, just because some dark thoughts may intrude along the way,
whatever healthy behaviors that may have stemmed from your more
solution-based thought processes will continue to benefit you.
It’s all about being aware that the intrusive, scary thoughts are merely
unsubstantial puffs of nothingness that we should learn to blow off, and that
our intentional, positive thoughts can help shape our behaviors in
productive ways. In conclusion, you are not your thoughts; you are the sum
of so much more, including your intent and, more importantly, action.