Longman Academic Writing Series PARAGRAPHS TO ESSAYS {IH VY aint Alice Oshima + Ann Hogue PEARSONACADEMIC PARAGRAPHS To wrlte academic texts, you need to master certain In this chapter, you wil learn to: * Identity and use correct page formats for academic paragraphs ‘= Use capitalization correctly * Identity and write simple sentences "= Check for and cortect errors in subject-verb agreement * Cheok for and correct fragments * Write, revise, and edit an academic paragraph about Someone wo has made a differenceer Each day you probably do many kinds of informal writing, For example, you may :make iss of things to buy atthe supermarket or send text messages to your friends. Informal writing may contain slang, abbreviations, and incomplete sentences. In contrast, academic writing the type of writing you have to do in schools formal and has many rules. tis different from everyday English, and it may be different from the academic writing that you have done in your native language. ‘This book will help you learn and practice the format, sentence structure, and ‘organization appropriate for academic writing. Chapter 1 presents the basic format and features of an academic paragraph. At the end of this chapter, you will write an academic paragraph of your own. ANALYZING THE MODEL ‘The writing model is about a well-known person who has made a difference. Read the model. Then answer the questions. F Wting Model ‘A Person Who Has Made a Ditteren Deeg 6 i jeorge Lucas, + Fimmaker George Lucas has changed the fllm indus in many ways. 2He has writen, rected, and produced some ofthe best-loved movis of our ime, sHe has also made major Contributions te modern fm technology At first, Lucas dd not plan to become a fimmaker. ‘His cream was to become a racecar diver. 6 After bad accident, however, he had to modiy his plans, and he decided to get an education, 7n college, Lucas studied moviemaking anc ‘madi @ numberof student fms. 8 Lucas thi feature fm, Str Wars, changed everything, {9A seemingly imple story of good versus evi, Star Wars became a huge international hit. 10The ‘movie used naw technologie that revolutionized the fm industry. 11 One ofthese technologies was a special computer-asssted camera crane (a tall machine with long metal arm for iting haw things. 12 Gamera operators fmed most ofthe space fight scenes trom the crane, 19 Lucas Is aso responsible forthe modern THX audi systom, which improves the way a movie sounds In theaters. 14 Inaction, Lucas was one ofthe fist people to use computer-generated images (CG) in flmmaking,15In fact, Lucas's company Industrial Lght and Magic as created special offects for hundreds of movies including Harry Potter, Prates of the Caribbean and Str Trek ‘ms. 18 To sum up, George Lucass love of storteting and his technological innovations have completely changed moviemaking forever. Academic Paragraphs 8Questions about the Mode! 1. Whois this paragraph about? 2. Whats the writer's main point about this person? | 3. What kinds of words are capitalized in the paragraph? Circle three examples of ‘capitalization: a person's name, the ttle of a movie, and an abbreviation formed from the first letter of words 4. In Sentence 1, filmmaker George Lucas is the subject: What is the verb? # Noticing Vocabulary: Word Families, Good writers make sure thatthe words they use have the right meaning and are in the correct form. They know that the members ofa word family are related to each other and havea shared meaning. Learning more about word families will help you choose words carefully and improve your writing, The chart has examples of the noun and verb members of some common word families. Notice the spelling pattems atthe ends ofthe words, highlighted in yellow. ‘Word endings (suffixes) can Sometimes help you figure out whether @ word is a noun ora verb, Noun cision 1 di aires a ‘modification Identifying Nouns and Verbs in Word Families ‘Work with a pariner. Complote the chart with nouns and verbs from ‘the writing model on page 3. 4 cHaprenHEEIEIEERE Forming Nouns Work with a partner. Complete the chart with nouns. Use one ofthese noun endings: -or-er, -tin/-sion/-caton, -ancel-ence, ism, «ment, “ness. (Check ferm and spating ina dictionary. CENA In this section, yom will lon haw tn format and organize a paragraph, From the writing model on page 3, you can see that a paragraph is a group of related sentences. A paragraph focuses on and develops one topic. The frst sentence states the specific point, oF controlling idea, about the topic. The rst ofthe sentences inthe paragraph Support the controlling idea, Inthe writing model on page 3, the frst sentence states the topic (George Lucas) ane the controlling idea about the topic (George Lucas changed the film industry). The est ofthe sentences in the paragraph support the controlling idea, The model also shows the format of an academic paragraph eacemieParcraphe 5FORMATTING THE PAGE 1 prepate assignments for this re instructions to attention tothe page format. low for bth handwritten and computer-written work Page Format for Handwritten Work. Paper Use 8 12-inch-by-11-inch lined, three-hole paper. The th sice as you write. Write on one side ofthe paper only holes should be on the left Ink Use lack or dark-blue ink only Heading ‘Write your full name in the upper right or upper left comet. On the next line, write the course number. On the third line ofthe heading, write the date when the assignment is due in the order month-day-year with a comma after the da Assignment Title Center the title of your par sph onthe first line Margins Leave aI-inch margin on the left and right sides ofthe paper. Also leave a I-inch _margin at the bottom of the page Body Skip one line an first sentence 12 ind tour writing on the third line Indent (move tothe righ) the rom the left margin Spacing Leave a blank line between each line of wr 6 cHaPrenZ yun wine —> Marciola Perez couse mmen > English O01 wwone uc ome —> April 2, 20__ > Introducing Myself > Hello! I would lke to introduce myrelfto you. My name it z | Marciela Perez. | am a tudent from the country of El Salvador. Iwas fmvsncs
Marcela Perez | = ish 001 nome } | ecco —> April 2, 2014 Ser" ———> _Inwroducing Myself ‘Breceme,” —> Hello! I would li (0 introduce myself to you. My name is Marciela Perea. Tam a student from the country of El Salvador. Iwas born ina litle town near San Salvador, the capital of our a, a Country I graduated from high school there. I came to the Uni States two years ago with my mother and my two sisters We went to New York, where my Aunt Ross lives, We lived with her in her apartment in Brooklyn for si months. She helped my sisters and ‘me get jobs. work for & home health care agene: help elderly seo nen People with their basic needs. I work near City College, where my ‘Sex sisters and I take classes to learn English. Now we have our own, apartment near the college. My sisters and I work during the day and go to school at night. I want to quit my job and go to school full-time, Tope to go to college and become a nurse practitioner, I speak Spanish fluently. I don't think T have any other special talents. My hobbies are making jewelry and going to movies, Academie Parsraphe.BETA 01 a separate shoot of papor, write a paragraph introducing yourself to your teacher and classmates. Use the models on pages 7 and 9 as guides. Write the paragraph by hand, or use a computer. Format correctly {Ask yourself these questions. Use your answers as a basis for your writing. ‘Add other information i you wish. 1 Whatis yourname, and where were you born? 2. What do you want to say about your family? 3. What languages do you speak? I. Where did you goto school? What were (or are) your favorite subjects? s. Whatjobs have you had in the past? What jab da you have now? Why are you learning English? Whats your goal or your dream? 3. Do you have any special talents or hobbies? What do you do in your fre time? ‘Give ties tothe paragraphs you wie. A good tite lets the reader row your top But doesn't give away too much information. Atte ‘canbe shor orlong, but it rarely should be longer than ten words. MECC In English there are many rues for using capital letters. You probably know a lot of them already. “The fest word ina sentence “My best fiend is my dog ‘The pronoun | He and I never argue. ‘Abbreviations and acronyms formed fromthe USA IBM AIDS fist eters of words = a All proper nouns. Proper nouns inelude God Allah Shiva fa. Names of deities ; ‘b, Names of people and their titles “Mr and Mrs. John Smith ‘President George Washington sur Nora title without a name :my math professor, the former prime minister Nore: Some writers capitalize titles such as The president (OR President) will speak to the president and prime minister when they nation on television tonight clearly refer to one person,om «. Names of specific groups of people (nationalities, races, and ethnic groups), languages, and religions 4. Names of specific places on a map ce, Names of specific geographic areas sur Nor the names of compass dinections £. Names of days, months, and special days UT Nor the names of the seasons 1g: Names of specific structures such as buildings, bridges, dams, monuments hh, Names of specific organizations (government agencies, businesses, schools, clubs, teams) J. Names of school subjects with course smumbers ‘nur Nor names of classes without numbers, except languages j. First last, and all important words (nouns, pronouns, adjectives, and adverbs) in the {iles of books, magazines, newspapers, plays, films, stories, songs, paintings, Statues, television programs ‘ur Nor articles, conjunctions, and prepositions [Nore Italicize (or underline) titles of books, ‘magazines, newspapers, plays, and films. Use quotation marks for short stories and song titles. Ee ‘Asian Japanese Muslim Caucasian Indian Hispanic New York City North Pole Indian Ocean Main Street the Middle East Eastern Europe Drive east fr two blocks, and then turn south. Monday Independence Day Ramadan spring, summer, fall (autumn), winter Golden Gate Bridge ‘Aswan High Dam the White House ‘Taj Mahal ‘State Department Bank of Canada Harvard University New York Yankees ‘French Students Club ‘United Nations January ‘Business Administration 312 ‘Chemistry 101 chemistry French iterature Wor and Peace “The Three Little Pigs” ‘Toronto Star Paris Match Tingle Bells” Indiana Jones andthe Tepe of Doom Academie Paragraphs. 11EEIEEME Applying Capitatization Rules Look atthe model on page 9 again. Copy nine more words or groups of words that begin with a capita letter. Add the capitalization rule next to each entry. (Note: Don't copy the first words of sentences or names that are repeated.) 1. _Morciele Perez—name of a person 2 2 0. Correcting Capitalization Errors in Sentonces Find the error in capitalization. Mako corrections. 1 ea 1. Jacmalsa tent rom nia She speaks English, ry, nd 2. her major is business 8. thanksgiving is a holiday in both canada and the unite states, butts celebrated con different days in the two countries its celebrated on the fourth thursday in november in the united states and on the second monday in october in canada istanbul is a seaport city in turkey sreenhills college is located in boston, massachusetts {am taking four classes ths semester: american history, sociology 32, economics 40, and a digital product design course. 8. just read a good book by ernest hemingway called the ld mar and the sx ‘9, my roommates from the south, so she speaks english witha southern accent. 10, the two main religions in japan are buddhism and shintoism. 12. CHAPTER’Correcting Capitalization Errors in a Paragraph Read Christine Lis response to Marciela Perez's introductory paragraph. Find 27 more errors in capitalization. Make. l _Fenjoyed reading your paragraph, you are the first central america i have met. {wat living in chicago before i moved | here last december. until now, everyone in my englith elasreseame | from asian countries, such at china, thailand, and vietnam, oF from countries in the middle east. ‘would ike to know more about your goals for example, want to know how a nurce i different from a nurse practitioner. i would alo like to know how many sience classes |____you need to take after biology 101 to become a nurse practitioner. in your paragraph, you say that your only special talent is peaking | spanith, but think you have other talents if you are going fo work in the field of medicine. your scence clases will enable you to get a job, but being able to take care of others is avery special talent christine tr In the Ty It Out activity on page 10, you wrote a paragraph to introduce yyourselt. Exchange your paragraph with a classmate's. Read your classmate's Paragraph and write a response similar to Christine L's. Follow the instructions. 1. Remember tobe kind: Bogin by describing what you lke about the paragraph. 2. Write helpful questions and comments 3. When your classmate returns your paper to you, read the comments and questions. 4. Make changes if you agree with your classmate’s comments, 5. Write more to answer yout classmate’s questions ‘esceic Parmraphs 13[A sentence isa group of words that (1) contains atleast one subject and verb and (2) expresses a complete thought SIMPLE SENTENCES {A simple sentence has one subject + verb combination. The subject tells who or what The verb usually expresses the action (ump, zor think ofthe sentence ora condition (Gs, ans, seem, become). Fiasichanged the fim industy in many ways, Was « special computer assisted camera crane Asimple sentence can have several possible “pattern.” Here are four basi ones “The Sir Wars movies ere ntematinal is ‘Young peopl and aul enjoyed the movies, Tne Bice [SRA ile avlancon eyerynce® ied evi and Gat strony friendships at dhe saute Lane Notice that a simple sentence may have a compound subject (with two or more items, asin sentences 2 and 4). It may have a compound verb (with two or more items as in sentences 3 and 4). These are stil simple sentences because there is still only one subject + verb combination, Also notice the parts of speech (nouns, pronouns, and verbs) in English simple sentence patter. Use a noun ora pronoun for the frst (subject) part ofa subject + verb combination. Use a verb in the second part of the pattern. Look atthe examples. shed vend ‘Geog Lucas @eisloped COI andthe THX sound system rn.) tm) Tio adcnonaly Bontrbited computerassisted camera cranesPHRASES | [A phrase is a group of words that dacs not have a subject + verb combination. A common type of phrase isa prepositional phrase, This combination has a preposition (ion, a, from 2, of with, around followed by a noun ora pronoun. In these sentences, the prepositional phrases are in parentheses, Look atthe examples. George Lucas has changed the fm industry (in many waya). (Aiter Star Wars), George Lucas became famous. (One (of his talents) is storytling, Lucas is wellknown (ort EXETELIE Wdenttving Subjects, Verbs, and Prepositional Phrases Underline the subjects and double under the verbs. Put parentheses around the prepositional phrases. 1. Star Wars jg an amazing movie. 2. Ie first appeared (in theaters) (on May 25,1977) 3, Audiences loved the fin and the characters init 4. George Lucas wrote the story and planned the special effects 5. He worked with falented artists and engineers 6. Lucas and his team designed and built an imaginary world of good and evil 7. Inthe orginal Star Wars, Luke Skywalker becomes a freedom fighter 8. Theheroesin Luke Skywalker’ ie ae Je knights 9. Darth Vader represents the evil Empire and always wears black 10, At the end of the film, moviegoers applauded the defeat of the evil Empire. EMIGHEEEAE Using Nouns and Verbs Con Use what you know about subject-ver® pattems in sentonces to circle the correct noun or verb form. Put parentheses around the prepositional phrases. ‘educate (of Luke Skywalker) is the responsibility sponsibility (of Obi-Wan Kenobi). tly 1. The 2. Obi-Wan's wisdom and life lessans transformation / transform Luke Skywalker into a Jedi knight. 3. George Lucas's THX sound system and computer-generated images really Jmprovement / improve the battle scenes in Star Wars 4, An innovator / innovate like Lucas experiments with new ideas. 5, Action films are full of excitement / excite for movie fan. ‘AescemeParsraphs 15SUBJECT-VERB AGREEMENT You already know that subjects and verbs agree in number | la sports fan (My fiends and I sports tans. ‘Michel Jordan IB an innovator fom the world of sports ‘Many people i NBA fans because of Jordan. (My uncle sul WARS Jordan's "23" jersoy ‘Many NBA players 68 “Air Jordan’ shoes. Subject-verb agreement is sometimes confusing in these situations 1. When a subject verb combination begins withthe word there + the verb be the subject follows the be verb, Look ahead to see whether to use a singular or plural verb “There i a men’s NBA team in Houston. (Use the verb isto agree wth team) ‘Tore two NBA teams in Los Angeles. (Use the verb are to agree with teame,) Prepositional phrases can come between a subject and its verb, but they ate not the subject. You should mentally cross them out when you are deciding if the verb should be singular or plural Tho fie (ot NBA tickets) I high. (The subject Is price, not NEA ticks) The fans (at an NBA gam) noisy (The subjects fans, not game.) - Some words are always singular. (One (ofthe NBA’ biggest stars) If LeBron James. Each (ofthe NBA players) i a welhtained athiete. A few words are always plural [Both (of the Los Angeles NBA teams) Bl (nthe Staples Cented. ‘Several (ofthe Lakers) i Al Star players. ‘Afew words can be either singular or plural. In these cases Jook atthe noun inthe prepositional phrase, ‘Some (ofthe excitement) ata Lakers game GBGU off the Dasketbal oo. ‘Some ofthe fans) fil the movie stars at Lakers games more Interesting than the game. 16 charters_ EMEIEEIE Making Subjects and Verbs Agree ndetin tho subject and wite subject above it. Then ole the corect vob term. subject 1. NBAteams i (@djin the busines of playing basketball nd making money. 2. Basketball games on television makes / make big profits fr the NBA. 3. The sale of T-shirts, hats, and other NBA products s/ ar also good fr business. 4. Some ofthe NBA games / ao on television in countries outside the United States 5. Some of the succes ofthe NBA is are because of individual players 6. There was / were more NBA games on TV in China after 2002, the year that Yao Ming started playing forthe Houston Rockets 7 There was / wore a very good reason for the NBA's increase in popularity. 8 Most ofthe new Chinese fans vas / wore originally fans of Ming 8. Now each ofthe NBA games on Chinese television attracts / attract millions of viewers 10. Ming’s popularity with Chinese fans has made / have made him one of the most {important athletes ever to playin the NBA. Eaiting a Paragraph for Errors in Subject-Verb Agreement Find fve more errors in subjectverb agreement. Make corrections. Exciting Young Golf Stars Gat is no longer just favorite sport of wealthy middle-aged businessmen o senior citizens, Young people around the work Spaying the game, and some of them has caused alot of excitement. One ofthe young stars are Sergio Garcia fascinating golfer from Spain. Gaia was born in 1980 and started golfing atthe age of thre. He became a professional golfer in 199 at the age of 19, Garcia caught the world's atention by hitinga golf shot ata target fom behind a tee with his eyes closed. Two other young golf stars are Michelle Wie and Ryo Ishikawa Both of them is quite different from the traditional golfer. Wie, bon in Hawai in 1989, is Korean-American. She (continued on next page) ‘Academic Parsraphs 17atthe age of fourteen. Today she sone of the world’s best female golfers Ishikawa sa professional Japanese golfer who was born in 1991. In 2007, he became the youngest player ever to win a professional golf tournament in | Japan, Each of his vitores since then have shown his incredible athletic sil, and he has become a favorite with fans. In 201, after a terrible earthquake in Japan, Ishikawa impressed his fans once again by promising to donate all of the money he earned! that year to help the earthquake vietims. OF course there isstil older golfers who continue the traditions of the sport, but these three ‘young athletes show how golf is changing, FRAGMENTS In some languages, i is possible to leave out the subject in a sentence. In others, you can sometimes leave out the verb. In English, you must always have a least one suibject-verb combination in each sentence. you leave out either the subject or the verb, your sentence is incomplete—this is fragment. Fragments are sentence errors. (There is an exception to this rule. In ‘cammands such a¢ Stop Hat! and Liston carly, the oust you io tinderstood but not specifically stated.) Here are two examples of fragments 18a good idea to do volunteer work. (There sn subject) Students never too busy to help others. (There so verb.) To correct Sentence 1, adda subject. Iisa good idea to do volunteer work. ‘To correct Sentence 2, add a verb ‘Students #8 never too busy to help others 18 chaprenTEISSEOE Correcting Sentence Fragments | food each sentence and deci Its «compete sentence ora fragment {Wate X forte orton agents, Comect he rgmonts by adn a subject crave Is X_ 1. epost for students ogetan education a City Yea volunteer, 2. City Year volunteers work in schools and in communities, XC 3. city Year volunteers inthe United States, England, and South Ati. 4. For example, lp elementary and mide schoo children with their emewege fi\ AL 5. The}fble model for young children 6. City Year volunters ls do clean-up work or communis in nee, Aref gclen yay for univer siden oa rome espeien Xa. atthelend oftheir City Year receive money to pay for their university tuition : fae Eziting a Paragraph to Correct Sentence Fragments, Find four more fragments, Make coectons My Best Friend My best rend is Suzanne We have knovin eachother since childhood. She helped ine ina very special way. At the age of ten, Tmaved to anew tov, Wasa very scary for me ogo toa new schoo very shy Infact, 1was afraid to speak o anyone. Suzanne asked me tex inch with heron my fs day During the nex sever months, she helped me to adjust to lien school and out of schoo, too. Now Suzanne in Venezvela with her husband and thre children. We have not seen each other for eight years. However we stayin touch by ema and on Facebook. Telephone each othe at est once a month Suzanne changed my lif. We will befriends forever. # Applying Vocabulary: Using Nouns and Verbs Before you begin your writing assignment, review what you leamed about word families on page 4 AcscemicPartraphs. 19HEISEI Using nouns and Verbs in Sentences © Complete the chart with nouns and verbs. Check meaning, form, and spelling Ina dictionary. There may be more than one possible answer. | tenet ices ie transform Work with a partner or in a small group. On a separate shost of paper, write sentences that explain how these famous people made a difference in the World. Include in each sentence a noun or a verb from the chart. 1.SteveJobe 3. Thomas Alva Edison _&, Pablo Picasso 2J.K.Rowling 4. Martin Luther King jr. ay aq" ‘Apple cofouncer Harry Poter author Inventor Steve Jobs TK Rowling Thomas Als Enon Civil rights leader Artist Martin Luther King Ir Pablo PicassoEas Doing academic writing assignments takes time and patience. Its never a one-step ‘ction. When you begin the process of writing a paragraph or an essay, you have Already been thinking about what o say and how to say it. Then after you have Completed your assignment, you read over what you have written and make changes land corrections. You write and revise and write and revise again until you are satisfied that your writing expresses exactly what you want f0 say “The process of writing generally has four steps. In the frst step, you come up with ideas In the second step, you organize the ideas. Inthe third step, you write a first draft. Inthe final step, you polish your frst draft by evising and editing it. STEP 1: Prewrite to get ideas. “The first step is called prewriting. Prewriting isa way to gather ideas and information, In this step, you choose atopic and collect ideas and supporting information to explain the topic, “There are several techniques you can use to get ideas. In this chapter, you will practice one technique called listing. Listing isa prewriting technique in which you write the topic atthe top of a piece of paper and then quickly make alist of the words or phrases that come into your mind. Don't stop to wonder whether an idea Is good or not. Write itdown! Keep on writing until the flow of ideas stops, LISTING In the following example the assignment isto write a paragraph about a person who nas made difference inthe world, in the community, or inthe writer’ ie. First, the writer made alist of people who have made a difference to him. Then he decided Which person to write about and circled his choice. Made a Difference Bill Gates Albert Einstein | Oprah wink Mark Zuckerberg Angelina Jolie sth Dalai PeademiePargranns 21Next, the writer started a new list. He wrote his chosen topic—Grandfather—at th of a new piece of paper and started writing words and phrases that came into his mina bout his grandiathe Grandfather __Unedveated (high school? Started hospital in town — only hospital eighth grade?) in big area = Farmer who worked hard Improved local medical care Helped his community Fst farmer fo terrace his land — now Started community hospital everyone docs it Respected in community Improved farming techniques in his area Went to church everyweek Smart Got up early Read about new things Worked late Terracing helps prevent sol erofion ___ Was the first personin town to Listened te experts buyacor _____ Thought things ever Forward-thinking Made me laugh when Twas little The writer then looked at his second list and decided to write about the ways his srandlfather helped his community. He circled that idea. Then he thought about how his Branclfathor helped his community. [le highlighted wo klees and marked them A and B. The writer also crossed out anything that didn’t belong to these two ideas, Grandfather __Started hospital in town — only hospital inbig area Improved local medical care Gelped his community) First farmer to terrace hitland — now 6 stated aaniatadly heal eet . Respectedin-commenity. A Improved farming techniques in his area Mentte-churolnevery week: Smart Gotup cone __Readebowtnevethingr Worked tate Terracing helps prevent sil erosion 22 cHaPrERtAtte end of this chapter, you are going to wit a paragraph about a person whe has mad a diflerence nthe world i his or her community, or In your personal fe. Use the sting technique to choose a tple and gather information. Your cssemates might be expecta interested in laring about a person trom your home county, suchas a politi, a port stay, awit, an Sst, oF an entertainer Follow the instructions. 1. Oma separate sheet of paper list at least six people you think have made a difference. Then choose one person for your wring assignment. 20 cate a second lst ofthe ways in whieh this person made a difference 3. Choose one or two important ways the person made a difference, an circle ther, (Donot write the paragraph yet, but save your prewriting.) STEP 2: Organize your ideas. The next step in the writing process isto organize the ideas into a simple outline The writer of the example lists on pages 21-22 wrote a sentence that named the topic (his grandfather) and gave the conteolling dea about the topic: His grandfather helped the community in tuo ways. Then the writer listed two ofthe Ways his grandfather made a difference and included supporting information under each one. Sorts Paxacnaru Ouran My Grandfather: Someone Whe Made a Differen ____My grandfather helped his community in fwo bays. ‘A. He improved farming techniques in hit area + First former to terrace his land + Terracing helps prevent sil erosion B. He started a community hospital. nly hospital in big area “+ Improved local medical care (On a separate sheot of paper, make a simple outline from the lists you made in the Try It Out activity above. Folow the instructions. 1. Give your outline a tile like the one inthe example. 2. Write a sentence like the one in the example that names the person and say’ what he or she did to make a difference. '3. Write supporting information or main points below this sentence. If there are two ‘main points, as in the example, give them leters (A and B), If there are more, give capital letter t every main point that you list below the first sentence. (Save your outline) ‘Aessemc Parsraph 23.STEP 3: Write the first draft. The next step is to write first draft, using your outline daft as quickly as you can without stopping to think about grammar, spelling ‘ctuation. Just get your ideas down on paper. You will probably see many errors in Your first draft, tis perfectly usual and acceptable—after all, this is just a rough draft You will fix the errors later Notice that the writer added some ideas that were notin his outline. Notice also that he added a concluding sentence a the en. Fast Dear My Grandfather: Someone Who Madea Difference My grandfather help his community in two ways My grandfather bor in 1932. He was farmer, Not well educated. (Maybe he only went to high school for one or two year. In those day, children were needed to work on the farm,) He was fest farmer in his community to terrace his fields, Then people thought he was crazy but now, every farmer does it. Terracing helps prevent soil erosion. This improved farming techniques in his area, After he 1s 100 old to work at farming, my grandfather get the idea that his town needs a Hospital, so he spend his time raising money to build one. There is no hospitals nearby, and people have to go long distance to see doctor. People again think he really crazy, but he succeed. Now a small Hospital in community, and two doctor. Each of the doctors have lots of patients. The Hospital is named the james walker community hospital It was named for my srandfather He improved local medical care. My grandfather just a simple, uneducated farmer, but he helped his community 8 lot. [STEP 4; Revise and edit the first draft. In this step, you improve and polish what you have writen. Ths step is also called revising and editing Fest, you attack the big issues of content and organization (fevising), Then you work on the smaller issues of grammar, punctuation, spelling, and mechanics (editing). 26 chaPrenPeer review (On pages 253-273, there are general instructions and specific Peer Reviews for each chapter inthis book to help you improve and revise your writing. Aclassmate, or peer, wll read and review your paper in order to help you improve its content and organization. A peer reviewer's jb isto read, ask questions, and comment on what is good and on ‘what might be changed of made clearer. He or she should not check your grammar or punctuation. Your instructor will help do this until you and your classmates leam to doit for yourselves, Revising In the following example, the peer reviewer's comments are in black on both sides of the page. The writer's replies are in ble, The writer and peer reviewer discussed the comments, and then the writer wrote a second drat. Fmsr Duar waru Prax Forrs aND Conners ‘My Grandfather: Someone Who Made a Difference eel ‘My grandfather help his community in two ways, My grandfather peragraph! Are these FUSISEN, Bormin 1982, He was farmer, Not well educated, (Maybe he any went "4 nee like the | fohigh school for one or two year: In those days, children were needed important? Fm” sonoron ear) Hest fameria communi toerae se hel et Ten peo hog mesa baton etme" i a vibe dor, Fai pont situps ig "Seeracing™ Techniques in his area, After he is too old to work at farming, my —I don't Pleese ara ‘think your is Please "grandfather get the idea that his town needs a Hospital, so he spend grandfather ‘oh would lke Abahet bitin raising money to build one. Theres no hospitals nearby, and. WIAs trofion"? people have to go long distance to se doctor. People again think he You use really erazy, but he succeed. Now a small Hospital in community, and the word = “crazy” two doctor. Each of the doctors have lots of patients. The Hospital alot Ist ‘tslang? 1 i8tamed the james walker community hospital. It was named for my can't fhink grandfather. He improved local medical care. My grandfather just a the hole, some mice were having a party. They thanked him For balls and invited him to join them. After a while, the mice told choose a box a a reward for his generosity. 9 He could choose a big hhe could choose a small one. 19He thought about taking a big box, finally chose a small one. 1 Back at home, he and his wif discover the box was ful of gold coins. 12A greedy neighbor, who always ‘more money, heard about their good fortune and quiekly made ‘si the same hole. 19At the hole, he pushed several rice balls into it Sure enough, dhe mice invited him in. 14The greedy man wanted all ‘mice's gold, o he pretended to be a cat. 15 He started meowing the frightened mice ran awas. 6 The god disappeared with the mice, sercedy man got nothing, not even a tee ball Questions about the Model \ 1. Look at Sentence 2. How many subject-verb combinations are there? a aware olden rs am rey Tees fre iy a Wa ad wel ose fry COMPOUND SENTENCES rehuvn, In Chapter 1, you learned about simple sentences. simple sentence has ane subject- ‘verb (-V) combination. Another kind of sentence, called a compound sentence, has two or more subject-verb combinations. ‘A compound sentence is composed of at least two simple sentences joined by a comma and a coordinating conjunction. A compound sentence has ths "pattern He Fad happy singing, so he Bopp the other two rice balls into the hole 40 cHapten2- COORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS 4 ‘There ae seven coordinating conjunctions in English: and, but, ofr, nor, and yet, In this chapter, you will study the frst four. Coordinating conjunctions are sometimes called fr boys because their first letters spell those words: for, and, nor, but, o, ye, and 80, Ss Baunies ‘And joins sentences thal ae alte He dropped a rice ball aid it rolled into a hole in the ground. But joins sentences that ae opposite or They were happy, but they were poor show contrast. So joins sentences when the second The greedy man wanted all ofthe mice’s sentence expresses the result of something gold, so he pretended to be a cat. described in the first sentence, Or joins sentences that sve choices oF He could choose a big box) he could alteratives oes Use a comma before a coordinating conjunction in compound sentences only: Do not use a comma to join two words o two phrases in a simple sentence, cowuya wcmets The old man was a geneous person, and eked — ‘help others. ‘The mie were having a party; and they asked the ole ‘man to join them, He took th smal box and he went home fre sereces The old man was a generous person and ked to ieocoma) help others. “The mice were having a party and asked the old man to join them, He took the small box and went home, Naratwe Paragraphs. 41EEIEEIE 'dentitying Compound Sentences @ Work with a pariner. Draw a box around each coordinating conjunction in the ‘model on page 40. Take turns explaining why some of the conjunctions have ‘commas, but others do not. © Read “Seguin’s Goat.” Which ofthe sentences are compound sentences and ‘which are simple sentences? Write CS of SS. Then add commas as needed. Seguin's Goat A Folktale from France SS 1. stongtime ago, high nthe Alps an old man lived with his goat Biante 32. shewas a wonderful whit gost and was very kind oher maser, "8, They had lived together for many years 4. Blanchette was always fastened toa tre. —CS__ 5, she was often sad and sometimes she didn't eather food. 6. Every day, she looked at the big mountains ‘explore them, ind dreamed of being fee to 85 7, Oneday, she asked her master for more freedom. £58, “You can tie me with a longer rope or you can build a special enclosure for me,” said Blanchette. At first he ted her with a longer zope but Blanchette was still sad ‘Afew days later, he built a special enclosure. |. Fora while, Blanchette was very happy about this decision but soon the enclosure scemed very small in front of the big mountains. One summer moming, Blanchette decided to leave for the mountains 60 she jumped out ofthe enclosure and ran away. DS 13, “Tam free,” she said. —S5__14, sheate many varieties of plants and enjoyed meeting new frends, —2.0_ 15. all day, she ran in the Alps. 85-16 Finally the sun set behind the bills Forming Compound Sentences For each set of sentonces, make one compound sentence or one simple ‘sontence with two verbs. Use and, but, 80, or orto join the sentences. Punctuate careful. There may be more than one possible answer. 1. Itbecame very dark. Blanchette was suddenly afraid. It became very dark, and Blanchette was suddenly afraid 2. She heard a noise. She decided to go back to her enclosure. 42. cHaprena1e couldn't find the road 4. Finally she became very tired. She tried to res, Her fear prevented her from, sleeping, (Combine all three sentences) 5, Suddenly, a wolf appeared, The wolf looked at her hungry, ‘She shouted for help. No one heard her. The wolf ate Blanchette. The poor old man never saw his litle goat again. 8. Blanchette wanted to be free. She dd not realize that freedom can be accompanied by danger. ‘Writing Compound Sentences (On @ separate sheot of paper, write compound sentences using the ‘coordinating conjunctions you have learned. Follow the instructions. 1. Writea sentence that tells one thing you like to do and one thing you don’t like to do. (Use but} like t sim in the ocean, but I don't like to swim in swimming poole. 2, Write a sentence that tells the results of each clause, Begin each sentence with om / Jags... (Use son all three sentences.) a. being born in (your country) was born in Russia, 0 speak Russian. b. being the oldest / youngest / middle / only child in your family being alazy / hantworking student ‘Write a sentence that tells two things you do every morning after you get up. (Useand) 4. Write sentence that tells two things you might de during your next vacation, (Use or) 5. White a sentence that tells about two different careers you might have in the future. (Use or.) Newatne Paragraphs 43TRY IT OUT! (Choose one of the topios and write a paragraph about it on a separate sheet ‘of paper. Focus on writing compound sentonces. Ty to use the coordinating ‘conjunctions and, but, $9, andor atleast one time each. « retell a short folktale from your home culture that teaches an important lesson + retell one of your favorite childhood stores + retell the plot ofthe best movie that you have seen recently UNS [As you learmed in Chapter 1, the comma is a helpful writing tool. Used correctly, it divides sentences into clear parts, ‘THREE COMMA RULES Let’ review two comma rules that you have leamed and learn one new one. 1. Puta comma after a time-order signal that ‘comes before the subject at the bepinning, ‘ofa sentence, The, soon, and now are ‘usally not followed by a comma, . Put a comma after the first sentence in a ‘compound sentence, Put the comma before the coordinating conjunction. (Don't use ‘comma between two parts ofa simple sentence) Put a comma between the items in a series ‘of three oF more items, The items may be ‘words, phrases, or clauses. (Don’t use a ‘comma between only two items.) Using Commas Correctly @ Read the sentences. Add commas as needed. Examnies Yesterday, I did homework for thee hours Finally Iwas too tired to thik. A Din the vein Ill seep on te sof. tor Soon I started dreaming was too tired to think, 80 I decided to take a short break tur I woke up and finished my homework 1 got up took a shower drank acup of cfs) jgabbed my book, and ren out the door Red, white and blue are the colors of the United Sites ag Ur Red nd gold are the schoo! color. 4. Daisy) Tomko) Keiko) and Nina lve nea the college that they al attend 2, Tomniko and Keiko are from Japan and Nina and Daisy are from Mexico. 43. Nina and Keiko have the same birthday. Both girs were born on June 3.on different continents. 44 CHAPTER?4. Last week the girls decided to have a joint birthday party so they invited several friends for dinner 5. Nina wanted to cook Mexican food but Keiko wanted to have Japanese food. 6. Finally they agreed on the menu. 7. They served Japanese tempura Mexican arroz com pollo Chinese stir-fried vegetables, and American ice cream, 8, Fitst Nina made the rice. 9, Then Keiko cooked the tempura 10, After that Tomiko prepared the vegetables. 11. After dinner Daisy served the dessert 12, Te guests could choose chocolate ice cream or vanilla icecream with berries. @ Answer each question witha complete sentence. Use commas correctly 1. When and where were you born? (Begin your answer with Is bor on...) 2, Where do you live now? 3. Name three of your favorite foods. 4. What do you do inthe evening? (Begin your answer with In the evening...) 5. What do you usually do on weekend? (Name at least four activities) 6. Name one thing that you always do and one thing that you never do on weekends. 7. What are two or three goals in your ife? (Begin your answer with [would like...) Newatve Paragraons. 48* applying Vocabulary: Using Compound Nouns ‘Before you begin your writing assignment, review what you learned about compound nouns on page 33 Using Compound Nouns in Sentences \Wirite a sentence fr each topic. Include in each sentence a compound noun from the box airplane ‘classroom boyfriend /girifriend dishwasher childhood garbage can classmate grandmother / grandfather 1. My first day at school 2, An exciting experience in my life 3. My eariost memory 4. Something that Ijustleamed how to do 5. Abig mistake in my lfe 6. My favorite story homework passport playground sunrise / sunset asa Oe RLY There are many ways to prepare to write. You remember that prewriting isthe step in the writing process in which you get ideas. In Chapter 1, you learned about the ‘prewriting technique called listing 46 cHaPrER 2FREEWRITING Another prewriting technique is freewriting. When you freewrite, you write “freely"— without stopping—on a topic for a specific amount of time. You just write down sentences a you think of them without worrying about whether your sentences are correct or not. You also don't have to punctuate sentences or capitalize words. You can leven write incomplete sentences or phrases. The main goal in feewriting i to keep your peneil moving across the paper or your fingers tapping on the keyboard. Look at this example of freewriting on the topic “A Memorable Event in My Life: __AtMemorable Eventin My Life Tim supposed to freewrite for fen minutes about a ‘memorable eventin my lfe.1 don't know what to write about Maybe about my brother’ boat accident: We were so seared _We thought he was going to drown, He was trapped under an overturned boat and didn't have any air to breathe. Butit ended _ ____epaall right: He was reseved and had only aby canIwrite about? Ohl " know. A day 1 will aways remember Was the day Lleft my hhome county te come to the United States. That was @ rad/hoppy ——_| | day. elt sad and happy at the same time. Maybe I should write about something happy. Our family vacation last summer was We drove to the coast and camped for a week on the beach. |____Then there was the day the earthquake happened. Now that war | definitely a memorable event: Iwill never forgetit I was at home ‘This writer kept freewritng until she found her topic: the earthquake. If she had ‘wanted to, she could have done further freewriting about her earthqsake experience to develop this topic. (On a separate sheet of paper, reewrite about a memorable event or experience in youre. tmight be a happy day, a sad event, an embarrassing moment, an intresting trip, ora rightenng experience. Follow the instructions. 1. Wate for about ten minutes without topping. 2. Ifyou find a topic during your freewriting, continue freewriting on that topic. 3. If you already have atopic in mind before you start, freewrite on that topic for ten, ‘minutes to develop your ideas about it arate Paragaots 47WRITING ASSIGNME! You are going to write a narrative paragraph about a memorable experience in your life, Follow the steps in the writing process. STEP 1: Prewrite to get ideas. Use the freewriting that you completed in the Try It Out! activity on page 47. Reread your freewriting, Underline or highlight the parts that you ike the most. Ifyou need todevelop your topic further, keep freewriting until you are satisfied with it [ERED 5120 2 organize your ideas. Rese ere eter cases ig ares ee paaguph einen fo fends ogame ada? Renae oiala to ser haan eat cree ee cease Ua tointeke cores (BD sreP s: write tno tat drat # Write FIRST DRAFT atthe top of your paper. + Begin your paragraph witha sentence that tells what event or ‘experience you are going to write about. Tl never forget the day T met my future husband “The most memorable vacation I ever took was a bieycle trip across Canada * Include details that match the purpose of your paragraph. ‘= Write about the experience in time order. Use time-onder signals and punctuate them correctly, «Try to include some compound nouns in your paragraph. «Pay attention to sentence structure, Inde both simple and compound sentences, and punctuate them correctly. + Give your narrative a title. It should clearly identify your topic, For examples, look atthe titles ofthe models inthis chapter. [BREED ster 4: Rovio and eat the drat. ‘+ Exchange papers witha classmate and ask him or her to check your first draft using the Chapter 2 Peer Review on page 256 ‘Then discuss the completed Peer Review and decide what changes you should make. Write second draft, + Use the Chapter 2 Writer's Sel Check on page 257 to check your second draft for format, content, organization, grammar, punctuation, capitalization, spelling, and sentence structure. 48, cuapten2