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12 Speaking Errors That Make You Sound Dumb

Entry added on Tue, March 18, 2008

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Recently I’ve taken on a daunting personal challenge: completely debugging my speaking habits. Not just
public speaking on stage, but fixing glitches when I talk during conversations. These speaking glitches may
seem minor, but when they add up, they make you harder to understand, less assertive and can even make
you sound stupid.

The Big 12 Speaking Errors

The amount of speaking errors you can make are endless. There are situations where these “errors” can be
used effectively. But 90% of the time, they are just wasteful. Here are twelve I’m trying to overcome:

1. Um’s and Ah’s. When you are temporarily lost for words, do you take a brief pause or insert an “um”
into dead air. In public speaking these filler sounds are known as crutch words. If you’ve ever watched
a TV show, you’ll notice that these crutch words are missing from dialog. There’s a reason: crutch
words make you sound dumb.
2. “You know” & Like. Close cousins to the crutch words are the infamous “like” and “you know”. I
rarely use these two, but I have friends that can’t go three sentences without appending a “like” to the
beginning of a sentence. Not good if you want people to take what you say seriously.
3. Not Taking Enough Pauses. Are you the kind of person who has 30-minute uninterrupted
monologues? Taking pauses in your speaking allows you to emphasize key points. If you avoid pauses,
it makes you more difficult to follow and sound less assertive.
4. Curse Words. Dropping the occasional f-bomb can add a double underline to what you need to say.
But too often it’s just wasteful and offensive. I’ll admit that I can be bad for this, depending on the

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group I’m with. Reducing this is something I’d like to focus on.
5. Using $10 Words. Don’t use big words when simpler words can do. One of the disadvantages of
having a big vocabulary is you feel the desire to inflict it on everybody. Great speakers use shorter
words when they fill the same purpose as a large one. (I’ll admit my writing could probably use a better
application of this rule as well)
6. Talking Too Fast. Unless you are announcing an auction, you don’t need to talk quickly. Talking to
quickly shows that you lack confidence in yourself, otherwise you wouldn’t worry about people
interrupting you for talking to slowly.
7. Dragging Out Stories. Unless I know what you’re trying to say within the first 15 seconds, I’ll tune
you out. Starting your stories with lengthy preambles will cause people to lose interest.
8. Self-Bashing. Self-effacing humor can be funny. But where do you draw the line between lightening
the mood and showing you lack confidence? Unless it works into a great joke, informing people of your
flaws is only good for highlighting them.
9. Bragging. Self-bashing’s ugly cousin. Bragging doesn’t make you seem confident. It makes you seem
like a jackass. Truly confident people don’t feel the urge to trumpet their accomplishments. Let other
people brag about you, don’t do it for them.
10. Not Focusing on One Conversation. If you are having a conversation, focus on the other person.
Don’t think about what you need to do the next day. Don’t think about other people you want to talk
with. Don’t just wait for your turn to speak. If you focus and listen, other people will do the same.
11. Forgetting Who Knows Who. Don’t tell a story about your friend Brad if the person you’re talking
with doesn’t know Brad. If I need to know who Brad is to understand why the story is interesting, don’t
bother sharing.
12. Talking Too Much About Yourself. Unlike the first 11, this one is true only in excess. Talking about
yourself can be a great way to connect with others. But if you spend more than 2/3 of your time
chatting about yourself, it only shows you’re self-centered.

Debugging the Errors

The problem with fixing most of these speaking glitches is that they happen automatically. The errors creep
into your conversations before you realize it. Unless you actually counted it, you’d probably be amazed at the
amount of times you say “um” or “ah” in a twenty minute conversation.

Simply trying to use willpower to curb these errors isn’t enough. Getting rid of these errors from your
day-to-day communication requires a completely different approach.

Normal Habit Changing Methods Don’t Work

My first reaction to fix these speaking errors was to use a 30 Day Trial. This is my default method for
changing habits, and I assumed it would work here as well. Unfortunately, after a few failed trials, I realized
that this approach wouldn’t work. The chance of making a mistake was too high to commit for 30 Days.
While it isn’t too hard to commit to going to the gym for a month, it is painfully difficult to try to avoid any
verbal crutches for the entire 30 days.

In the last few weeks, however, I’ve been experimenting with a better method. Piecing together this method
from great improvement thinkers like Tim Ferriss and Tony Robbins, I call them rubber band trials.

Rubber Band Trials

The rubber band trial is fairly simple:

1. Keep a rubber band around your wrist.

2. Every time you make a communication error, you switch the rubber band onto your opposite wrist.

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3. If you can go seven days with the band staying on the same wrist, you’re finished.

My current trial is to remove um’s and ah’s from my speech. The first day of my trial I had to switch the band
between wrists twice. The furthest I’ve gone is six days without making a glitch. I’m up to four on my current
run.

This method works well for targeting communication because it is hard not to forget the rubber band.
Whenever you catch yourself making an error, you can easily switch the band over. Considering how
common many of these errors are, it will probably take a few days before you learn how to keep them from
slipping out.

I’m still doing a lot of experimenting with this technique, so it will probably be a few months before I can
provide any comprehensive advice on the method. But, so far it seems promising as a way to debug how you
talk, listen and think.

The Goal of Improved Communication

Once you start a rubber band trial, you become acutely aware of how many communication errors most
people make. Within a few days of the trial beginning, I could point out every “um” or “ah” made in a
conversation. When you realize how many of these little glitches you make constantly, the goal of improved
communication becomes much more important.

bookmark this on del.icio.us saved by 12 other people tags: speaking self-improvement Tips psychology article errors

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14 Comments »
1. Niels said,

March 18, 2008 at 10:36 am

I thought the (original) rubberband was for when you made a mistake then you could “punish” yourself
for snapping it on your wrist. A small physical reminder to your subconscious mind that you don’t want
a certain behaviour.

Goog: http://www.43things.com/entries/view/545593

2. Vincent said,

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Scott H Young » 12 Speaking Errors That Make You Sound Dumb http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2008/03/18/12-speaking-errors-that-m...

March 18, 2008 at 12:08 pm

Scott, what do you think about using “Um” to show that you’re thinking? For example, someone in the
audience asks you a question you don’t know how to respond to. You need to take a moment to
carefully consider your answer. If you don’t say “Um” to show you’re thinking, the audience would
think, “Why is he just pausing?” Would you scrunch your face to show you’re thinking or say “Give
me a moment to think about it?”

3. Scott Young said,

March 18, 2008 at 4:40 pm

Niels,

That could be one application. This method is a bit of a mix of a few different techniques.

I don’t normally use aversion therapy with my personal habit changing methods.

-Scott

4. Jean Browman--Cheerful Monk said,

March 18, 2008 at 5:55 pm

I tend to talk too fast. That isn’t always because of lack of confidence—it’s a trait of visual thinkers.
Visual thinking tends to be faster than thinking in words, so it’s hard to communicate what’s going on
without speeding up the words being uttered.

5. Shilpan | successsoul.com said,

March 18, 2008 at 8:01 pm

Scott,

Most crucial aspect of public speaking from my experience is to learn art of buying listener to commit
their time in first 60 seconds. If you are mindful to have flawless 60 seconds, you will be given chance
to make few mistakes here and there and still have captive audience.

Shilpan

6. Scott Young said,

March 19, 2008 at 5:25 am

Vincent,

This might just be my style, but I don’t find using “um” to show your thinking helps.

Say what you will about politicians (most) tend to be great public speakers. Yet you rarely hear them
start answering a question in a debate with a long “um….”

A better approach, if you need time to think, is to rephrase the question, e.g. :

“What do you think about policy X, Mr. Johnson?”

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Scott H Young » 12 Speaking Errors That Make You Sound Dumb http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2008/03/18/12-speaking-errors-that-m...

“That’s a good question. I feel policy X will have important ramifications because… *start answering
question* ”

-Scott

7. William Tully said,

March 19, 2008 at 7:09 am

I like the one about “Forgetting who knows who” (#11). If the other person doesn’t know Brad, you
should be able to bring them up to speed quickly if necessary - if it’s going to take you an hour to
establish who Brad is and how he is pivotal, then forget it.

I was out car shopping the other day and the car has an in-dash USB port for the stereo - great! I
inquired about whether you could have a mix of items (documents, images, music, etc.) on a USB stick
and if the radio would ignore the non-music or if it had to be just a music stick. The sales person then
proceeded to tell me all about USB technology, the different sizes you can get (apparently you can get a
32mb stick up to an 8gb stick!), how easy it is to transfer things to it, and how I can download iTunes
for free and rip CDs… Basically, if I know Brad, and you know Brad - please don’t spend an hour
telling me who Brad is.

(great post Scott!)

8. etavitom said,

March 19, 2008 at 7:32 am

so right on! i am going to look at this list before i give every speech. thanks!!

9. Diego said,

March 19, 2008 at 12:12 pm

Scott this is another great post. Ums and ahs, likes and yaknows, make me crazy(er). I remember R.
Buckminster Fuller steepling his fingers while he gathered his thoughts and then said because he knew
he had been at it for a while, “I might be praying, but you don’t know that.”

I have a slight disagreement. Smaller words tend to be used by speakers who want to raise the
emotional pitch of their speech. “10$” words are used by, and understood by people who are trying to
be more precise in their speaking.

Now if I could ration my profanity better.

10. Freelanceguru said,

March 19, 2008 at 11:44 pm

Would be amazing if any one person could master all of these. ALthough the elastic band might be
something of a fashion crisis.

11. Scott Young said,

March 20, 2008 at 5:27 am

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Scott H Young » 12 Speaking Errors That Make You Sound Dumb http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2008/03/18/12-speaking-errors-that-m...

Diego,

Using a long word, when it is more precise, is better. But be careful, sometimes you can feel the urge to
use a complicated word when it means the same thing as a simple one. In which case, go with the
simple word.

As an example, I have friends in Environmental Design who tell me they lose marks in a presentation if
they say “utilize”. Why? Because “utilize” and “use” mean basically the same thing.

Freelanceguru,

Of course, the elastic band isn’t what’s important. I’m sure you could find a bracelet that suited your
tastes.

-Scott

12. Ravenwood said,

March 21, 2008 at 6:10 am

http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2007/09/18/real-mind-control-the-21-day-no-complaint-
experiment/

13. Niedzielne linki: Czy i Ciebie paraliżuje konieczność publicznego przemawiania? « Doodge’owy
przemyślnik said,

March 30, 2008 at 2:41 am

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14. Success Soul » Words that Can Change Your World for the Better or Worst said,

April 5, 2008 at 7:54 am

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