Communication

Is your strength talking or listening?

 Does your partner agree with your answer?
 Is this the same strength as your partner?
 How does this affect the communication dynamic of your
relationship?
 In what ways can you become a better listener and
communicator?
 How can you create space for each other to talk and be
heard on the
issues that matter to you both?
 Which topics do you avoid talking about? Why?
Resolving conflict
The fact that you will have conflicts is undisputed - even
serious ones. The
issue is how you will manage your conflict. If you can get good
at resolving
them, then you will have built a strong foundation for your
relationship.
Marriages break down because of irreconcilable differences.
Therefore, the
ability to resolve differences and compromising appropriately
is an essential
skill to a joyful and effective marriage.
Most people react in one of two ways in a conflict situation.
Are you a rhino
or a porcupine? When you’ve been wronged or hurt in some way,
do you
mount an aggressive charge or roll into a defensive ball?
Maybe you react
some other way?
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Before meeting with your mentors, consider and discuss the
following
questions with your partner:
1. What sort of things do you conflict over?
2. How do you work through these conflicts?

Three simple steps to resolving conflict

1. Identify the point of difference and commit to work to an
agreement.
Choose to make ‘the difference’ smaller than the relationship.
2. Take it in turns to listen to and appreciate each others point
of view. Don’t
interrupt when your partner is speaking. Do then repeat back to
them
what you feel they are trying to communicate.
3. Assess the size and importance of the disagreement and
work towards a
compromise if necessary. Remember, not all conflicts are as
important to
resolve as they may appear at first.
Action points
1. What is the one main thing you can each do to communicate
better?
2. Read Appendix C and D for further information on
communication and
conflict.