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Befriending Jealousy Linh Luong Thuy TEDxYouthHanoi@

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what if i tell you that

jealousy is actually a good thing

when i was a kid my mom always told me

honey i would love to see you as a

doctor when you grow up

but sometimes it went like a content

would be perfectly fit for you

i don't know she wanted me to be

everything anything

except for the only thing that took my

interest

modeling i was so obsessed

with how gracefully and powerfully the

model struck down the international

runway

i remember one day i was watching a

random youtube video

i was so amazed by the scenes of

victoria's secret models

with fit bodies wavy hair and huge wings

they look godly and all of the sudden

i realized that this is my dream

this is what i want i definately wanted

my heart was set on this on becoming a

victoria is a good model

so how to become one of them i asked

myself

ah ill google every requirement needed

so here’s what i found height 170

to 185 checked

perfect i'm right in between

bust __65 oh my god of the victoria that

you’re looking for

waist 61. i was _a bit chubby at that

time

but gyms and word count will help right

so __61 is the can hips

well 90 i was a bit

bigger but they won ___the hourglass body

so

perfect checked small nose

full lips high cheekbones all check

inner ______beauty well i guess they are

talking about

personality right well

i am quite well ____mannered____ so check

agency i heard that

i have to sign with an international

modeling __agency____

oh they have online registration so its'

again i just need to

send them __all_ my photos so it's um

one two three four five

five out of seven _oh_ my god

it's already more than a half i'm so

close to where i _wanna____ be

but then i read a newspaper

saying that most victoria's secret

models

are ______discounted____ at a very early age 13

to 15 years old which is the same as__ me

at that time but why am i here i'm not

scouted yet

this _is_ so unfair okay

maybe i need to work more on my body

measurement

and i_ desperately need to sign within

modeling agency

so i went working out four hours _a day

calculating every single calorie that i

take in

watching countless tutorials on how __to

walk and pose

like a model and trying to be competent

in english

just _to_ make sure that i can communicate

with the agency

so after three months i __got_ the desired

body management

i am so proud of myself

and this is the __last__ step signing with

an agency
so i spend hours writing a proper email

and __sent__ all of my photos to as many

agencies as possible

oh my god i'm _so_ close to where i dream

to be

oh my god this is so close _i’m__ getting

there

and that thought went with me to my

sleeve

it was it ___coughing?__ in my sleeve it felt

just

so real and the next morning

when i __open__ up i open my mail oh my god

all the mails that i received

_i couldn't believe in my eyes anymore it

was bills from my online shop

and _the__ next morning no new email and

the day after that

emails from school i __can__ waiting

waiting and waiting but such emails

have never arrived in my inbox i _am__ so

sad so upset after all of the effort i

put into this i _got__ nothing back

just so unfair so evil to me cannot

accept that

but then _i received praises

from people around me they told me that

oh you look so _fit__ lately you should

try to take part in a beauty pageant oh

your english ___sound___ so much better right

now

and not until that time that i realized

that

_it_ was fair i got something in return

i have better health i got the __best__

measurement that i wanted at the first

place my english has improved

i got _____something____ in return and

finally it took me to where i am right

now miss __world Vietnam_____ 2019

is not the exact destination that i

wanted at the first place but

__ was so acceptable

so however i did a poll on my social

media lately i_ was asking

if people thought envy was bad or good

so the result is _not__ so surprising

more than 80 percent of the reply told

me that they thought

_envy___ was evil so

what is the difference

between the jealousy in my case i _was__ so

envious with

the young girls winning a spot at

victory secret lineup

and __the_ envy and the thought so i came

up with the two names for them

__the_ first one is evil envy and the

second one is joyful jealousy

evil envy _is_ when you view those who are

superior to you

as your enemies all you __want__ to do to

them

is bringing them down playing tricks on

them to make _them___ struggle

or even breaking their neck just to undo

their achievements

imagine having a ___friend___

who has better results at school better

performance school than you

and all you _want___ to do is try to break

his hand

or do anything just to leave _him__ with no

chance of receiving good scores

his failure is your happiness

and you ___think__ that you believe that your

happiness

will increase only if his happiness

decreases

on _the__ other hand joyful jealousy is

instead of hatred

you think of others accomplishments

as _____motivation_____ something that push you

forward

and make you strive for

with this kind of ____mentality_____ your

relationship

with envy is a healthy one your focus is

on yourself

on ____improving_____ yourself and pulling

yourself toward

a newer high

so this reminds me of a __saying____

of nature envy drives us to be

better people because through envy we

admit __what__ we are missing

so let's revisit my example i was so

envious of the ______victoria’s____ great models

of the young girls who win a spot at

victoria's secret

lineup _but__ instead of letting the

negative

thoughts and comparisons consume me

i try to find _out__ what i was missing and

work on it

to become a better version of __myself____

so now that you know that envy and

jealousy

is actually good things and _a_ seasons

our life
now you must be wondering how to make

how to cook _the__ best dishes

with this spice i know that you get envy

looking at the ___photo___ of the super rich

and famous people

on social media or anyone who is ___better___

than you at your crafts

but remember all that you can see is

just _a__ tip of the iceberg

all that you can see is the gains but

what __you_ cannot observe

is their pains the sacrifices and

all the work that they put __behind____ it

for example it's very easy for you

all to see glamorous photos of _mine___ on

my social media platforms

but what i'm hiding what you can never

see

_it’s_ my opportunity costs they are the

sleepless nights

the broken relationships the

deteriorating health
__the_ the constant traveling the flying

back and forth

even every single day so

it _was__ quite exhausting but yeah i

accept it

now that you have looked at the

____underline______ parts of others

let's take a glance at yourself as human

beings

we always __have__ the tendency to look at

others accomplishments

and to compare them with ours and _will_

tell ourselves

i am not enough but you should also be

introspective

and to __see_ actually you have already

walked a long way

and comparing yourself to more skillful

__more__ talented

people at your field and striving to be

on par with them which _a_ human nature

to deprive yourself of envy is actually

losing on losing an important __part__ of

our self

competition without it

we can never grow we can never know __that__

we can be better than who we are right

now and that we can __never___ grow

they always say that don't compare

yourself to others

don't be jealous but ______ just do

put yourself and others on a scale

and let your anger fuel __your__ drive

but at the same time be aware of the

opportunity cost

that they _have___ to pay for whatever they

are having

and how far you’ve gone to now

_i dare you all to be jealous

joyfully jealous thank you

you