BeReal

What do we mean by being real?

knowing yourself and being comfortable in your own skin. Being real
means being honest about your marvelousness and sharing it, as well
as being honest about your flaws and working hard to overcome
them.
How do we be real?
-Knowing our values and how they influence us
-Being able to recognise internal and external influences (spheres of
influence)
-Being able to notice and name our emotions
-Practicing mindfulness
-Building the courage to face your fears
-Being honest and true to your word
-Acknowledging that you aren’t good at everything and make
mistakes; but taking the time to learn from your mistakes.
-Accepting your uniqueness, what makes you you and different from
everybody else
Working through the above points we can start a journey into being
real with ourselves and with others. Being our true authentic selves
helps with our wellbeing mentally, emotionally and physically,
because being yourself takes a lot less effort than trying to be
someone you’re not.
Knowing Values
And how they influence us
[Understanding our own values and beliefs, and where they come
from helps us to develop empathy and understanding for those
around us.]

Key Takeaways
1. Your personal values are a central part of who you are – and
who you want to be.
2. By becoming more aware of these vital factors in your life, you
can use them as a guide to make the best choice in any
situation.
3. Some of life's decisions are really about determining what you
value most. When many options seem reasonable, you can rely
on your values to point you in the right direction.
4. When how you live matches your values, life is usually good.
When your existence doesn't align with your personal values,
that's when things feel... wrong and you can feel unhappy.

Session one – What are Values? (Flipchart session)

An overview of what values are altogether, what do they mean,
why do they come about etc.
~ difference between values and beliefs (Values refer to
principles or standards of behaviour; one's judgment of what is
important in life. Beliefs refer to the conviction or acceptance
that something exists or is true, especially without proof.)
Session two- What are my values? (activity)
Building of the prior week, taking a deeper look at our values
are and what influences them. (Testing values and beliefs- core
youth work principle)
ACTIVITY- coat of arms
Session three- Do my actions align with my values?
(reflective)
When we are being our authentic selves our values and our
actions align. What we are doing doesn’t conflict with our
 values; but when we try to fit in and make ourselves someone,
we are not our actions may not be in line with our values.
This can be stressful and draining for ourselves as we are
making ourselves behave in a way that we don’t actually want
to behave.

Influences
Spheres of influence

[understanding how we can have an influence over those around us

and vice versa.]

Session one- Family and Friends influences.

Your family influences your behaviour in a tremendous way. We learn
so much about how we interact with the world and ourselves. Family
relationships cast long shadows, especially when we are young, and it
goes very deep into our psyche. When we are young our Brains are
like sponges; we learn so much from our parents and/or caregivers
and there are many ways it can affect us as we grow up:
Physical health - Many studies have shown that positive relationships
with our family lead to more positive habits later in life, such as
taking better care of yourself and making healthy food choices. In
contrast, negative relationships with our family cause stress can lead
to unhealthy eating habits and poor physical self-care.
Mental health - A strong and positive family support system from a
young age can lead to better mental health when we are adults. As
children, we need to feel loved and supported, which can give us a
sense of purpose in our lives as we grow up and enter adulthood.
Without this, we humans tend to grow up vulnerable to developing
mental health disorders.
Emotional health - Having positive sibling/sibling-like relationships
can teach us how to interact and build friendships with other
children of different ages. It also teaches us how to share and builds
empathy. However, problematic sibling relationships, such as rivalry
or competition for a parent's love, can have a negative impact on us
later in life.
As we get older, we begin to relate to people who remind us of
certain members of our family because it brings up things from our
past that we are not aware of. For example, if you had a bad
relationship with your father, you may get angry with someone you
meet who reminds you of him. However, it also works the other way
around; you can build healthy relationships with people who remind
you of a positive relationship you also had with your father.
Family and friends can have a significant influence on our attitudes,
beliefs, values, and other aspects of our lives. This can be because of
the close relationships we have with them, as well as the amount of
time we spend with them and the shared experiences we have. For
example, our family may be the first to introduce us to religious or
cultural practices, and our friends may be the ones who introduce us
to new hobbies or interests. Additionally, the opinions and attitudes
of those around us can shape our own views, whether through direct
or indirect influence. Overall, the people we surround ourselves with
can play a significant role in shaping who we are and how we see the
world.

Session two- Policies and their influence

What policies influence our lives?
Do they protect or hinder us?
Is there any that we disagree with
UNCRC

Session three/four- Internet and media influence

How does social media and other media influence pre-teens and
teenagers?
Pre-teens and teenagers can be smart consumers of media messages.
They don’t just take in everything they see and hear on social
media or in other media. You can help them develop the skills they
need to handle media influence.
Media influence on pre-teens and teenagers can be deliberate and
direct. For example, advertising is often directed at children of all
ages. This means that children, pre-teens and teenagers are
increasingly conscious of brands and images.
Media influence can also be indirect. For example, this might include
sexualised images and content
on Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok and YouTube. It might also include
violent imagery and coarse language in news media, documentaries,
video games and some song lyrics. This kind of media influence can
suggest to pre-teens and teenagers that certain ways of behaving and
looking are ‘normal’.
Positive social media and other media influences on pre-teens and
teenagers
Social media and other media can be positive influences on pre-teen
and teenage behaviour and attitudes.
Citizenship
Pre-teens and teenagers who are exposed to and take an interest in
news media are more likely to be interested in major social and
political issues like climate change. Media can encourage them to
become more involved as citizens in their communities.
Health and lifestyle
Pre-teens and teenagers can also pick up important health promotion
messages from social media and other media. This might include
messages aimed at preventing youth depression and suicide,
promoting positive, respectful relationships, or encouraging healthy
eating and lifestyle habits.
Identity
Good-quality stories in television shows and movies can help pre-
teens and teenagers explore aspects of identity like sexuality,
relationships, gender or ethics – for example, the treatment of
sexuality in a movie like Bohemian Rhapsody, or gender in Ride Like a
Girl, or ethics in a TV show like The Good Place. Watching these
shows with your child is a great opportunity for discussion.
It’s always worth remembering that media – good and bad – is just
one of several influences on pre-teen and teenage behaviour and
attitudes. Other influences include family, friends and peers, cultural
background and more. Often these influences can be more powerful
than media influence.
Negative social media and other media influences on pre-teens and
teenagers
Media messages can have a negative or unhealthy influence on pre-
teen and teenage behaviour and attitudes in certain areas, including
self-image, body image, health and citizenship.
Self-image and body image
Your child’s self-image and body image can be influenced by social
media, other media and advertising. For example, if your child
regularly sees staged and filtered images on social media, they might
feel they’re not good enough. Or if your child sees unrealistic ‘thin’ or
‘muscly’ body types often enough, it can affect their body image and
eating behaviour. These images can be even more powerful when
there’s no-one to disagree with messages like ‘thin is beautiful’.
Health and lifestyle
Social media and other media can influence the decisions that pre-
teens and teenagers make about their health and lifestyle. For
example, media messages and content can make it look ‘normal’,
cool or grown-up to eat junk food, smoke, vape, drink alcohol and
take other drugs.
Citizenship
To be responsible citizens, pre-teens and teenagers need reliable and
good-quality information. But social media and other media are
sometimes used in negative ways during elections and at other times.
For example, fake news or deep fakes might influence your child to
believe misinformation about a politician, public figure or celebrity.
Or online forums might promote biased or hateful attitudes towards
groups of people.
Session four-
How media celebrities and influencers influence pre-teens and
teenagers
Celebrities and influencers can be powerful influences on pre-teens
and teenagers.
In particular, pre-teens and teenagers can be attracted to lifestyles,
products or behaviour that celebrities and influencers promote on
social media. This can sometimes be a negative influence – for
example, YouTuber Logan Paul’s risky behaviour. But there are many
celebrities whose lifestyles, values and behaviour provide positive
examples – for example, YouTuber Elise Ecklund.
Pre-teens and teenagers need to be aware that influencers and some
celebrities are paid to advertise the products they endorse.
It can be difficult to tell the difference between influencers and
regular people – or even celebrities – posting videos and other
content for fun. Influencers are meant to say whether they’ve been
paid by using hashtags like #ad or #sponsored or words like ‘ad’ or
‘sponsored’ in their posts. You and your child could look out for these
signs.
Helping pre-teens and teenagers handle media influence
Exposure to media messages is a part of modern life, but you can
help your child work out what’s worth paying attention to.
Talking about media messages
The best way to help your child navigate the influence of social media
and other media is to talk about media messages. For example, if
your child likes watching beauty channels on YouTube, you could talk
about product advertising and sponsorship.
Or if your child is into a computer game like Grand Theft Auto, you
could talk about the violence, exploitation of women and criminal
activity. You could also talk about how your child would handle these
situations in real life.
Encouraging a questioning attitude
When you’re talking about media with your child, you can encourage
them to ask questions too. This can help your child sort facts from
opinion, identify advertising and fake news, understand bias and be
aware of the misuse of statistics.
For example, you could choose one of the YouTube channels or
Instagram accounts your child follows. Ask your child:
Who’s behind it?
What’s their motivation?
What do they want from you?
How does it make you feel?
Do they want you to feel that way? Why?
You can do the same for celebrities and influencers. Encourage your
child to ask themselves:
Why do I like these people?
Are they presented in a realistic way?
Are they like this in real life?
What values does this person portray?
How does this person make me feel about myself?
Why is this person telling me about this product or activity?
Are there signs that this person is an influencer?
During an election campaign, you and your child could look
at political news and memes together. Encourage your child to ask:
What ideas are being promoted in this news story or meme?
Who wrote this story or made this meme and why?
How might this meme influence voters during the election?
Understanding advertising
You can help to limit the influence of advertising on your child by
talking about how advertising sells ideas as well as products. For
example, you could encourage your child to ask:
Does this advertisement link the product with a particular kind of
lifestyle?
How does that make you feel about the product?
What messages does this advertisement send about what people
should look like, wear, do, eat and drink?
Participating in online forums
If your child spends a lot of time on online forums, it’s OK to get your
child thinking about questions like these:
What do people talk about on the forum?
What are the forum’s attitudes towards race, ethnicity, gender and
sexuality? Are any of these attitudes biased or even hateful?
Does the forum make you feel safe and happy, or uncomfortable?
Children and teenagers sometimes need help to get out of negative
forums and find forums that match their values. For example, if the
negative forum is in a game, you could suggest that your child takes a
break from the game while you help them find a different game to
play. Or you could suggest that your child plays the game at a time
when they might meet other people in the game’s forum.
Helping teenagers balance the influence of social media and other
media
When your child balances media use with other activities like physical
and creative activities and face-to-face socialising, your child comes
into contact with a wide range of influences. These include peers,
community mentors and family, as well as the media.
You can also introduce your child to real-life, positive role models.
Ways to do this could be joining local community groups, sporting
clubs or mentoring programs.

Controlling Emotions
In controlling emotions we look at what is the emotion that most
drives us to do our actions; and how to combat when the emotions
get too big.

In inside out we see how Riley’s parents are controlled by anger

(Riley’s Dad) sadness (Riley’s mum) but the emotions all work
together under that primary emotion.
Then there’s Riley herself, Riley is controlled by Joy and although Joy
means well by not working with the other emotions and not seeing
the influence that the other emotions also hold it means there’s
difficulty for Riley when sadness makes an accident.
If we look at what emotions control us and then how that affects us,
we can then see how that controlling emotion then affect those
around us.

Session one- What influences emotions?

Session Two- Flipping the Lid- Recognising when the

emotion is getting too big.

Session Three- What emotions feel like to us:

In this session we will be using art to give a visual to how different
emotions make us feel. This is all about helping the young people to
acknowledge what their emotions feel like so that they can
appropriately put into place the corrective measure to keep that
emotion or lessen the effects of that emotion.
Each young person will be given their journal to create this piece in
and then they will be provided an emotion on a slip of folded paper.
Using the different mediums provided young people can write or
draw, scribble, doodle whatever the emotion is. Then as a group we
will look at each other and see do the emotion make anyone feel the
same, how they might react with the emotions and what the other
options that come into the base emotions.
Using the emotions wheel provided by Joanna we will look at the
correlation between the adjacent emotions when we are angry and
frustrated we can also be feeling vulnerable and anxious. All these
things are linked and how to we untangle the root of what is really
wrong when are emotions decided to happen all at once.

Face your fears

Facing your fears in not about putting yourself into situations where
you are literally facing your fears. Its about recognising your fears and
acknowledging them but not letting them hold you back from doing
the things you truly want to do. Not about phobias but rather self-
consciousness

Session one- What are you scared of? Physical or Emotional

Session two-

Session three-

Mistakes mean growth.

Session one-

Uniqueness is Greatness
Session one-
Session two-
Session three-