MIDTERM EXAM: AN OPINION PIECE ASSIGNMENT

By Beste Töre

Department of Lithuanian Philology

Vytautas Magnus University

SID5004 Mediatization of Language, Culture, and Everyday Life

Instructor: Auksė Balčytienė

October 22, 2023

 Beyond the Double Tap: Is Our Desire for Online Approval
Healthy?

"Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner."
- Lao Tzu

Throughout human history, the desire for external validation has been a fundamental aspect
of our social existence. From the early days when survival within a group was a matter of life
or death, the need for approval and positive feedback has remained a deeply rooted instinct in
the modern age of individualism steered by industrialization and technology. By definition,
approval means believing something is good enough or acceptable. (Ferguson, 2022) As face-
to-face and virtual interactions become frequently facilitated by social media platforms and
mobile technology, we are prone to be exposed to an abundant amount of stimuli that can
trigger this deeply ingrained instinct. While the desire to be admired by others is a normal
and universal human trait, the extreme pursuit of external validation can be detrimental to our
mental well-being. Reassurance-seeking becomes a problem when it is more frequent and
when a person becomes more dependent on it. (Zucker, 2021)
Users seek validation to enhance their self-esteem, establish social status, and reinforce a
sense of belonging. However, they must navigate the tension between seeking validation and
maintaining authenticity, recognizing the limitations of social validation metrics. Emotional
responses to social validation feedback vary widely, with positive feedback leading to
happiness and satisfaction, while negative feedback can trigger envy and disappointment.
Social validation also contributes to the construction of online identities, shaping how
individuals present themselves and seek validation from others. (Ballara, 2023) The pursuit of
social validation also plays a significant role in shaping online identities. Users build their
personas, sometimes projecting themselves differently from real life. This difference can be
observed physically, as users may enhance their outlook using filters, ideal lighting, and
carefully picked angles. Characteristically, they may showcase in different ways that may not
reflect their true selves. This concept can lead to perplexities in meeting real-life
expectations, especially among adolescents who are more susceptible to insecurities and self-
doubt. During adolescence, the need to be liked plays a critical role as it enhances a child’s
self-confidence. (Dhingra & Parashar, 2022) As a matter of fact, I have personally witnessed
the impact of this phenomenon on my teenage cousin. She hesitated to meet her online friend
in person worrying that he would be disappointed with her appearance. She mentioned that
she enhanced her beauty on social media which made her feel like an “impostor”.
Furthermore, many of us struggle with oversensitivity when it comes to online posts,
worrying that they will not get the expected reactions from our social circle. This often leads
to a tendency to question and criticize our content before hitting the ‘share’ button,
sometimes resulting in modifying the post or not sharing it at all. What’s more interesting is
the sense of obligation we feel to showcase edited highlights of our lives, whether it is a new
cute outfit or a fun night out with friends, and if we don’t post it we think that it is pointless
or a waste of opportunity to impress others.
Excessive exposure to social media platforms has been associated with a range of negative
emotional and mental health effects. These include anxiety, depression, feelings of loneliness,
and a concept known as ‘fear of missing out’ (FOMO). When we see posts of other people
having fun or there is an update worth being notified we feel obligated to scroll to not miss
out on something ‘important’ which increases our screen time and our engagement frequency
with these platforms eventually it gets harder to stay away from our phones. Additionally,
regular exposure to idealized and unrealistic depictions of emotions, lies, and connections on
social media can make individuals feel inferior and isolated compared to their peers. This is
because they believe that others live happier and more connected lives, making them feel
socially disadvantaged. (Ugwu, Idemudia, Chukwu, & Onyedibe, 2023)
Users may also experience schadenfreude, getting joy out of witnessing other people’s
unhappiness as they compare their lives to picture-perfect shots posted on social media. Such
comparisons can lead to self-esteem issues and emotional distress. Ultimately, these effects of
social media addiction create an environment where users feel anxious about not getting
enough likes or followers - leaving them vulnerable to negative mental health outcomes such
as substance abuse that requires professional addiction treatment. (Chancy, 2023)
Additionally, the superficial nature of online relationships often leaves users feeling lonely
and depressed while projecting happiness through their social media presence. Users often
utilize these platforms to avoid reality by creating a virtual one instead of dealing with their
problems. The reason why social media can be addictive is rooted in its dopamine-driven
reward system delivering a sense of satisfaction through validation from likes and followers
creating dependence on instant gratification. However, as the engagement becomes more
frequent, the level of satisfaction stabilizes and leaves the user craving more. As a result,
individuals often compare themselves to unrealistic standards of beauty seen online. (Chancy,
2023) Being exposed to those types of posts evokes negative emotions towards our self-
image due to this comparison. They can even change our perception of neutral daily concepts
such as food. For example, when we are being objected to posts of fitness influencers we may
start labeling food as good, bad, unhealthy, nutritious, etc. These types of associations with
food can affect our diet or emotional state when we consume ‘bad food’ we may experience
guilt.
Understanding the stem of those feelings may help us reevaluate our values and deal with the
unfavorable feelings. Also considering having a ‘digital detox’ from now and then may help
us to connect to real life and reduce negative emotions. In addition, considering muting or
unfollowing the accounts that trigger those emotions could be an option as well. There is
nothing wrong with social media, but if we do not use social media responsibly we could
soon find ourselves defining our lives by how many people like or follow us in the virtual
world rather than people actually knowing us in the real world. (Stankovich, 2021)
In conclusion, it is undeniable that social media platforms influence user behavior seeking
social validation which has a crucial role in shaping online identities. While positive feedback
leads to increased self-esteem, negative feedback results in feelings of incompetency and
unhappiness. Furthermore, the societal implications of social validation are evident. The
formation of echo chambers and polarization occurs as individuals gravitate towards like-
minded individuals and engage primarily with content that reinforces their existing beliefs.
This can hinder constructive dialogue and contribute to societal divisions. (Ballara, 2023) To
deal with the harmful effects, users should develop a mindful perspective on their self-worth
reducing dependency on external stimuli. This shift enables them to feel fulfillment from
their own beliefs and accomplishments resulting in a more authentic online presence.
References
Ballara, N. B. (2023). The Power of Social Validation: A Literature Review on How Likes,
Comments, and Shares Shape User Behavior on Social Media. International Journal of
Research Publication and Reviews.
Chancy, G. (2023, May 3). Addiction to Attention: How Social Media Can Fuel Simping Behavior.
Retrieved from Alana Recovery: https://www.alanarecovery.com/addiction-to-attention-how-
social-media-can-fuel-simping
Dhingra, R., & Parashar, B. (2022). Validation on Social Media and Adolescents: A matter of self
esteem. Journal for Educators, Teachers and Trainers, 114-119.
Ferguson, S. (2022, 10 27). Approval-Seeking Behavior: Signs, Causes, and How to Heal. Retrieved
from PsychCentral: https://psychcentral.com/blog/what-drives-our-need-for-approval
Stankovich, C. (2021, 9 27). Does Your Self-Esteem Depend on Social Media Likes, Comments and
Follows? Retrieved from Advanced Human Performance Systems:
https://drstankovich.com/does-your-self-esteem-depend-on-social-media-likes-comments-
and-follows/
Ugwu, L. E., Idemudia, E. S., Chukwu, O. O., & Onyedibe, M. C. (2023). Measuring the Impact of
Social Media on YOund People's Mental Health: Development and Validation of the Social
Media-Induced Tendency Scale. Depression Research and Treatment, 11.
Zucker, B. (2021, November 26). Using Social Media for Reassurance and Validation. Retrieved
from Psychology Today: https://cdn2.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/liberate-
yourself/202111/using-social-media-reassurance-and-validation