Q U O R T N E R .

H U TC H I N G S

For Me, Us, Our Community

A Kiki Methodology of Black Queer Storytelling

ABSTRACT This research offers an innovative qualitative methodology, kiki methodology,

centering and understanding the experiences of Black queer people. This article connects to
how Black queer people share and express their intersecting identities through Black queer

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storytelling in a novel qualitative methodology approach. Influenced by components of
Queer of Color critique, narrative construction, phenomenology, and arts-based research
(ABR), I offer a rich, complex, and communal threading of Black queer life within qualitative
research. Kiki methodology utilizes three distinct components: (1) Black queer meaning-
making (2) Black queer storytelling, and (3) Black queer artistic expression, situating and
positioning Black queer narratives within higher education. Kiki methodology is a critical
methodological approach that bridges Black queer ways of knowing, Black queer vernacular,
and Black queer artistic expression. KEYWORDS Black; Queer; Storytelling; Kiki
methodology

INTRODUCTION

“What have you learned from this dissertation process?”

This metaphorical and introspective question is one that many scholars have
been asked during their dissertation defense. It’s a culminating and reflective
inquiry that encompasses one’s dissertation experience. The dissertation jour-
ney is a critical nexus juncture in a scholar’s experience owning their schol-
arship, research, and practice. I was asked this poignant question during my
dissertation defense. This question from my dissertation co-chairs led me to
discern the importance of introspectively seeking and disseminating knowl-
edge consumption and production. I began situating my ontological and
epistemological stance to answer this fundamental question that became the
impetus for this article. Reflecting on my Black and queer identities, I began
to explore what communal and kinship practices retained and sustained me
in a world that denies the humanity of Black queer life. Importantly, what
does this look and feel like?

Departures in Critical Qualitative Research, Vol. 12, Number 4, pp. 6–28. ISSN: 2333-9489, electronic
ISSN: 2333-9497 © 2023 by the Regents of the University of California. All rights reserved. Request
permission to photocopy or reproduce article content at the University of California Press’s Reprints
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6
 Black queer community and kinship are having brunch with my friends,
where our laughter is filled with joy and solace. It’s weekly dinners with my
best friend, where we discuss combating anti-Blackness and queerness in our
careers and other facets of our lives. It’s through my writing group sessions
with my mentors that our questioning and judgment of ideas nourished and
flourished. It’s attending and presenting our research and practice at profes-
sional conferences where we elevate each other’s scholarship and practice in
a thriving environment and space where academia attempts to corrode our

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voice and place in the academy. These reflective moments and experiences
allow me to (re)remind myself and my community to continue to be authen-
tically and uniquely Black and queer in any and everything we do. These
experiences were a form of a kiki, a brave communal space where Black queer
people thrive and exist authentically and fully in their intersectional identi-
ties. I use “brave space” to insinuate the notion of spaces for Black queer
people are never safe, so it takes an unyielding audacity to exist in a world that
continuously fails to keep us safe, let alone alive. This led me to return to how
these queer kinship relationships connect to my dissertation research.
Everyone in my dissertation study, which explored being Black, gay, bisex-
ual, and queer in mentorship programs, forged relationships with each other
and myself through their innate ability to share vulnerable and distinct
moments. These Black gay, bisexual, and queer men (BGBQM) offered grace,
authenticity, and compassion to one another while critically examining the
mentorship spaces they existed in, even when it was a harmful environment.
What is evident from my dissertation experience is that the lives of Black
queer people are effervescent, distinct, and nuanced. Every Black queer person
has a story within a story. A story that is inundated within the fabric of
Blackness and queerness realities and worldmaking practices. There is an
intersectional and multifaceted story by every Black queer person who navi-
gates, negotiates, and lives within a society interwoven in anti-Blackness and
queerness (Gossett & Huxtable, 2017).
As my dissertation research explored the complexities yet niche realities of
Black queer life (Hutchings, 2021), it was a profoundly interconnected con-
duit for exploring critical qualitative approaches. Engaging in qualitative
research through storytelling allows for centering Black queer life in its
beauty, imperfections, and humanity. Qualitative research and methods cre-
ation calls for the continuation of centering the voices and experiences of
Black queer people. Therefore, this work will offer an expansion of centering
Black queer storytelling through kiki-ing. Kiki-ing is rooted in Black queer

Hutchings | Kiki Methodology 7

storytelling and cultural manifestation that connects people centering queer
joy, laughter, and love. Thus, I began to venture into my ontological and
epistemological bag to explore the world of introducing a novel qualitative
method from my dissertation research that bridges Black queer narrative
experiences, as I coined, kiki methodology. I will begin by discussing how
Black queer life and culture have been narrated in film, television, and
podcasting. Next, I will introduce kiki methodology and its components to
mobilize its utility within arts-based research and narrative inquiry. Through

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conceptualizing kiki methodology, I will present how to narrate kiki meth-
odology in a podcast script approach, honoring how Black queer people
navigate, negotiate, and exist in their Blackness and queerness. I will provide
critical thoughts on how kiki methodology is needed within qualitative
research and narrative storytelling for and by Black queer people.

GIVING HOMAGE TO BLACK QUEER PODCASTING, FILM, TELEVISION,

AND STORYTELLING

The multifaceted ways of Black queer life and culture are embedded within
Black narratives and storytelling. Black storytelling and life depictions center
Black life with critical qualitative approaches such as endarkened narrative
inquiry and story work (McClish-Boyd & Bhattacharya, 2021; Toliver,
2022). Endarkened narrative epistemology and inquiry are situated within
the past, present, and future of Black feminist thought. This methodological
and epistemology relationship is grounded in Black historical and contem-
porary homage is connected to kiki methodology and Black queer storytell-
ing. The Black queer narrative canon has expressed historical, social, political,
and identity formation in conversations from and with Black queer life
(Johnson, 2019; Thrasher, 2019). My fondest memories throughout my life
have been storytelling moments and events, learning about and from Black
people in my life. I vividly remember sitting at the dinner table where my
great-grandparents, grandparents, uncle, and mom shared what it meant to be
Black in this anti-Black world. These accounts of historical racism were
ingrained in my psyche. Still, through the pain and degradation were
moments of reclaiming joy, liberation, and clap backs rooted in laughter and
comedy, as my grandma and mom call them, Kodak moments. Black story-
telling is a rich cultural and historical tradition that interconnects the lived
experiences of Black people (Coles, 2020).

8 D E PA R T U R E S I N C R I T I C A L Q U A L I T AT I V E R E S E A R C H WINTER 2023
 Nevertheless, stories of Blackness and queerness were missing growing up.
While there were Black and queer people in my family, their stories were
viewed by family members as a supporting perspective, not a lead one. As
a Black queer kid in the ’90s, Blackness and queerness imagery through film,
television, and music were hyper-visible yet invisible. These images were
entrenched in caricatures and stereotypes of Black queer people centered in
negative portrayals, distorted realities, and often humor for the cis-hetero
gaze. Black queer images, stories, and messages were something as a young

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Black queer person I yearned to consume in a society that continued to
conceal and ignore Black and queer existence and living. Progressively and
regressively, Black queer representation in film, television, media, and art has
evolved into a realm of centering Black queer life-making written exclusively
for and by Black queer people (Bailey, 2013; Johnson, 2011). Black queer
storytelling is rooted in exploring, examining, and illuminating the Black
queer life through multimedia formats and outlets (film, television, podcast,
etc.). Black queer storytelling is a place and space that intertwines expressive
artistic ways of knowing and understanding Black queer people’s lived experi-
ences (Boatwright, 2019). There has been an array of films, televisions, and
podcasts (e.g., Tongues Untied, Paris Is Burning, Pose, Noah’s Arc, The Read)
that reclaims Black queer storytelling that controls how our stories are told
and curated in Black queer society and culture.
Marlon Riggs’s film, Tongues Untied, documents the experiences of Black
gay men living in the U.S. and uses creative expression to highlight how these
men present their perspectives and cultures (Young, 2000). Paris Is Burning
exemplifies ways transwomen, femmes, and gay, bisexual, and queer people
build community and kinship in ballroom culture (Butler, 1997). Pose con-
tinued this storytelling of ballroom culture by highlighting Black and Brown
transwomen, femmes, and gay, bisexual, and queer people (Martin, 2020).
Moonlight reimagines Black queer men’s identity, intimacy, sexuality, and
socialization through a cultural and sociopolitical narrative lens (Abdur-
Rahman, 2018). Pariah is a film that explores the deeply rooted ways that
Black queer women and lesbians navigate insider/outsider realities within
secondary education and societal expectations (Collins, 1986; Daniels,
2013; Lorde, 1984). There have been other films, television, and art that
illuminate narratives of Black queer people. Noah’s Arc renegotiated how
Black gay and queer men explore kinship among queer worldmaking and
meaning-making practices in television (Yep & Elia, 2012).

Hutchings | Kiki Methodology 9

 As these films and television depictions of Black queer life, podcasting has
become a Black queer enclave of centering Black queer life-making realities.
The Read (2023) is a podcast that integrates popular cultural topics, and the
hosts listen to letters from listeners of the show and give “the read,” which
allows the co-hosts to share a flaw regarding a particular topic of interest. The
Read podcast is facilitated by two Black queer individuals, Kid Fury and
Crissle West, who are unapologetically Black and queer. They speak about
topics that involve Black queer individuals in society. The Read podcast

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framework inspired my kiki methodology as an innovative qualitative meth-
odological approach. It is The Read’s innate and vulnerable ability to authen-
tically cultivate Black queer ways of knowing through a storytelling approach.
Each week the podcast embodies what it means to navigate, negotiate, and
exist as a Black queer person in a complex and complicated world. As I listen
to Kid Fury and Crissle unearth and uplift Black queer life, I aspire to mirror
their work within qualitative research, primarily in arts-based research and
narrative inquiry.

GET INTO THIS KIKI METHODOLOGY

Black queer vernacular (e.g., shade, read, werk, kiki) is omnipresent and
influential to the lived experiences of the Black lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans,
non-binary, and gender non-conforming (LGBTQþ) community. The
impact of Black queer vernacular and language has transcended into the
larger LGBTQþ and cisgender heterosexual communities through television,
film, media, and social media sectors (Davis, 2019). Scholars have explored
notions of Black queer language and communication, such as kiki culture or
kiki-ing, among Black queer youth and adults (Blackburn, 2005; Blockett,
2017; Davis, 2019, 2022; Johnson, 2011; Love, 2017). The inception of the
kiki scene and culture originated during the 2000s in New York, providing
holistic support (e.g., housing, food, shelter) and prevention services (e.g.,
HIV prevention) for Black queer youth and adult individuals (Harper
et al., 2022; Matthes & Salzman, 2019; Smeyne, 2014). The kiki scene and
culture cultivate a brave space where social connectivity is a subculture setting
within a ballroom, where individuals commune in non-competitive culture
within the ballroom scene (Harper et al., 2022).
Kiki culture derives from ballroom subculture that centers expression
of gender and sexuality among gender non-conforming individuals (Bai-
ley, 2013). Kiki-ing has roots in Black and Latinx gay and queer culture,

10 D E PA R T U R E S I N C R I T I C A L Q U A L I T AT I V E R E S E A R C H WINTER 2023
where this form of storytelling is seen as a communal social space for
communicating Black queer vernacular, arts, and culture (Bailey, 2013).
Kiki-ing has notions of Black and Brown queer literacy within a culture
owning and utilizing queer linguistic practices (Davis, 2019). As Harper
et al. (2022) noted, kiki environments help Black gay, bisexual, and trans
youth and emerging adults with an affirming space that aids them devel-
opmentally, socially, and emotionally. The following section discusses the
components of kiki methodology and their connections to Black queer

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storytelling.

Kiki Methodology Components

Introducing this kiki methodology and practice aims to center words of the
Black queer community that honor their lived experiences through collective
narrative engagement. A kiki methodology provides complex, nuanced, and
authentic narratives of Black queer life experiences. Kiki methodology has
three interconnected components: (1) Black queer meaning-making, (2)
Black queer storytelling, and (3) Black queer artistic expression. Black queer
meaning-making features distinct ways Black queer people discuss and share
their lives with other Black queer people in a space where understanding their
lived experiences is centered rather than studied. Black queer meaning-
making serves as an invitation and evokes sharing of sociopolitical, historical,
and cultural practices within lived experiences of Black queer people. It
blends and serves as a qualitative conduit to discuss Blackness, gender expan-
siveness, sexuality, class, ability, and other social identity markers within the
Black queer community. It serves as the focal point of centering Black queer
life, not the gazing of it. Black queer storytelling offers Black queer vernacular
practices, dialogue, and conversations that are exclusively for us and by us
within the Black queer community.
Black queer artistic expression connects with the kiki methodology com-
ponents, allowing Black queer people to express their intersectional identities
through various art forms (e.g., podcasting, photos, art curations, poems,
paintings, music). Kiki methodology allows Black queer people to authenti-
cally offer ways of queer worldmaking and life practices without fear, ridicule,
and judgment of their intersectional identities. This work advances qualita-
tive methodology and methods by providing a brave space environment that
often does not happen in society for Black queer people in higher education
settings.

Hutchings | Kiki Methodology 11

CONCEPTUALIZING KIKI METHODOLOGY

I offer that kiki methodology is a sociopolitical critique that is inherently

Black queer ways of knowing and storytelling in nature. Narrative construc-
tion and arts-based research (ABR) influenced the components of kiki meth-
odology (e.g., making meaning of Black queer lived experiences, Black queer
storytelling, and Black queer artistic expression). These qualitative approaches
encapsulate the sources, epistemologies, and analysis of kiki methodology.
ABR is a qualitative methodology that utilizes artistic sources to describe

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creative formats of one’s lived experience (Hetland et al., 2007; Marquez-
Zenkov, 2007; Raggl & Schratz, 2004). As individuals express themselves
and make meaning of their lived experiences, ABR provides a therapeutic,
restorative, and empowering approach to qualitative research (Leavy, 2015).
ABR in methodology creates narrative depictions of one’s lived experiences
through a theoretical, epistemological, and qualitative paradigm (Polkin-
ghorne, 1995). Narrative construction has been used in podcasting through
a storytelling lens. Scholars found that people often listen to podcasts to learn
about their experiences, specifically those who identify as LGBT (lesbian, gay,
bisexual, and transgender; Heshmat et al., 2018; King, 2008).
Kiki methodology connects to exploring the importance of intersectional
identities, and it examines race, gender, and sexuality within Black queer
vernacular, language, and storytelling. Consequently, art uses a complex and
multifaceted approach to dismantle oppressive structures while seeking pos-
sible solutions to address pertinent social issues (McKenna & Darder, 2011).
A kiki methodology provides a thoughtful and critical qualitative methodo-
logical insight into exploring the lived experiences of Black queer people
through various method approaches (e.g., podcasting and podcast-style focus
groups). Podcasting integrates media, art, and storytelling that celebrates
Black queer worldmaking and lived experiences (Blockett & Renn, 2021).
Podcast-style focus groups use kiki dialogues and conversations among Black
queer people, which differs from traditional forms of focus groups.
Kiki methodology is influenced by Queer of Color Critique (QoCC) in
ways that explore, examine, and foreground how Black queer people experi-
ence racialized heteronormativity and disidentification from dominant Black
hetero-discourses and foster Black queer agency. QoCC has been operatio-
nalized in K–12 education, using queer of color analysis to center experiences
of queer people of color (Boatwright, 2019; Brockenbrough, 2013, 2015;
Ferguson, 2 0 0 4 ; Marquéz, 2 0 1 9; Marquéz & Brockenbrough, 2 0 1 3 ;

12 D E PA R T U R E S I N C R I T I C A L Q U A L I T AT I V E R E S E A R C H WINTER 2023
McCready, 2013, 2019; Reid, 2022). Black queer people experience oppres-
sion due to race, gender, and sexuality (Blockett, 2017; Mobley & Johnson,
2019). QoCC uses a subversive approach to recognize Black culture’s other
realities from the dominant narrative while acknowledging the contexts of
the intersection of multiple identities in terms of race, gender, sexuality, and
class (Ferguson, 2004, 2018). QoCC acknowledges the realities of Black
culture within gender, race, and sexual diversity, which does not abide by
heteropatriarchy and heteronormative formations, and provides this commu-

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nity with an agency of their bodies and identities (Ferguson, 2004).
Recent work has extended how higher education scholars and researchers can
mobilize QoCC through qualitative methodological approaches, data collection
methods, and researchers’ positionalities through an equitable lens (Blockett,
2018; Duran et al., 2022; Garcia & Duran, 2022; Hutchings, 2023). Thus,
this kiki methodology continues to broaden how higher education scholarship
can conceptually situate QoCC by extending how Black queer people
experience racialized heteronormativity, produce Black queer ways of
knowing, and cultivate agency in the form of Black queer storytelling. Kiki
methodology situates the importance of examining Black queer storytelling
within sexuality and disidentifying with heterogendered norms in higher educa-
tion settings (Blockett, 2017). As Black queer people exist and navigate hetero-
normative and queerphobic spaces, kiki methodology highlights intersectional
narratives grounded in Black queer worldview and knowledge practices.
The data findings presented below derive from a larger study (Hutchings,
2021) that explores how BGBQM experienced Black male initiative (BMI)
and men of color (MoC) mentorship programs given their intersectional
identities. To honor and uplift my participants, I call them co-researchers
to center on their unique and rich experiences within this study (Lebolt,
1999). The co-researchers were identified through purposeful sampling (Mer-
riam & Tisdell, 2016); to qualify, they identified as Black gay, bisexual, or
queer men; currently or alumnus of a BMI or MoC mentorship program at a
2- or 4-year institution; and currently an undergraduate or graduate student.
After receiving Internal Review Board (IRB) approval, each co-researcher
completed an informed consent form to engage in interviews and podcast-
style focus groups. Each co-researcher received a media link before the
podcast-style focus group to serve as a precursor dialogue as I facilitated the
podcast-style focus group. The podcast-style focus group served as a brave
space enclave where BGBQM engaged in dialogue and storytelling around
topics on race, gender, and sexuality. Thus, the podcast-style focus group

Hutchings | Kiki Methodology 13

allows these men to fully express their intersectional identities suspended of
heteronormativity and hyper-masculinity norms and ideals predicated within
their mentorship programs settings.

KIKI METHODOLOGY FINDINGS SCRIPT

In qualitative research, the presentation of findings is interconnected with

one’s theoretical and conceptual frameworks, and methodological approaches
(Jones et al., 2021). Researchers make intentional choices to illustrate their

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findings, threading a narrative that represents their participants’ experiences
about a specific phenomenon (Jones et al., 2021). A kiki methodology
shifts dominant qualitative language practices by humanizing the partici-
pants’ experiences as co-researchers as Black queer storytelling and world-
making practices bridge kinship relationships among the researcher and
co-researchers. I use a podcast script to narrate how these men make meaning
of their experiences in a written format that mirrors an audio podcast. The
kiki methodology findings script uses nonverbal cues to emulate an oral
podcast to add to the podcast script’s descriptive effect. Topics from the kiki
methodology findings script are emerging themes from analyzing data collec-
tion efforts. Each co-researcher quote is cited from a data source (i.e., 1:1
interview and podcast-style focus groups) to interweave the data sources in an
analysis format. I used direct quotations from each data source to present
their narratives in a cohesive script. Utilizing a kiki methodology findings
script provides an organic flow, ad-libbing, and organizational structure to
capture Black queer storytelling in an interconnected format. Please see the
kiki methodology findings script (Hutchings, 2021) below to follow this
format when presenting findings from data sources:

 Podcast cast
 Episode notes
 Sponsor message
 Introduction
 Musical jingle/sound effects
 A longer explanation of what is in store
 Topic 1
 Main point
 Supporting point

14 D E PA R T U R E S I N C R I T I C A L Q U A L I T AT I V E R E S E A R C H WINTER 2023
  Supporting data
 Supporting quote

 Outro
 Call to action
 Sponsor message
 Musical jingle/sound effects

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Podcast Cast
Wayne is a Black bisexual man working at a private predominantly white
institution (PWI). He has previous experience creating a Black male initiative
(BMI) program as a higher education professional.
Jamal is a Black queer man pursuing his graduate degree. He attended
a public PWI as an undergraduate student. Jamal was involved in a BMI
mentorship program as an undergraduate student.
Jay is a Black queer man pursuing his undergraduate degree. He attends
a private PWI as an undergraduate student. Jay is currently involved in an
MoC program at his institution.
Shawn is a Black and biracial pan/bisexual man pursuing his undergrad-
uate degree. He attends a private PWI as an undergraduate student. Shawn is
currently involved in an MoC mentorship program at his institution.
Kai is a Black bisexual man pursuing his graduate degree. He attended
a public PWI as an undergraduate student. Kai was involved in a BMI
mentorship program as an undergraduate student.
Brendan is a Black gay man working in a private PWI. As a higher
education professional, he is a mentor within the MoC mentorship program.
Gabriel is a Black gay man pursuing his graduate degree. He attended
a private PWI as an undergraduate student. Gabriel was involved in a BMI
mentorship program during his transition into college.
Tre is a Black gay man pursuing his undergraduate degree. He attends
a public PWI as an undergraduate student. Tre is currently involved in a BMI
mentorship program at his institution.
Roger is a Black gay man working at a public historically Black colleges
and universities (HBCU) institution. As a faculty member, he created a BMI
program as an undergraduate student.

Hutchings | Kiki Methodology 15

 Isaiah is a Black gay man pursuing his graduate degree. He attended
a public PWI as an undergraduate student. Isaiah was involved in a BMI
mentorship program as an undergraduate student.
Germain is a Black queer man pursuing his graduate degree. He attended
a public PWI as an undergraduate student. Germain is a higher education
professional supporting an MoC at a private PWI institution.
Quortne is a Black queer non-binary person who is the researcher and
facilitator of this podcast. They will be guiding the dialogue today in the

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podcast.

F R O M T H E O U T S I D E LO O K I N G I N

Episode Notes
Femme-ing, living in a cishet masculine world, and centering Blackness are
just a few topics of From the Outside Looking In. This podcast centers on 11
narratives of Black, gay, bisexual, and queer men’s (BGBQM) experiences in
men of color (MoC) and Black male initiative (BMI) programs at higher
education institutions. Join Wayne, Germain, Isaiah, Tre, Gabriel, Jamal, Kai,
Brendan, Jay, Roger, Shawn, and Quortne as they spill tea, throw shade, and
read higher ed spaces dominated by heteronormativity and hyper-
masculinity.

Podcast Message
From the Outside Looking In is a written podcast that examines the experi-
ences of Black, gay, bisexual, and queer men within MoC and BMI programs
in higher education. The narrator’s voice is in italic font.
[This podcast episode was recorded in Zoom.]
Topic 1: Femme-ing and the “M-Word”
[As “ The Way” by Jill Scott before music begins to fade, Quortne begins to
speak.]
Quortne: That is my favorite part of that song, I just love Jill Scott. Well,
I want to welcome you all to From the Outside Looking In, a digital
podcast narrating the experiences of BGBQM within MoC and BMI
programs at colleges and universities. In each episode, you will hear
about these men’s lived experiences from their own words.
Furthermore, I’ll share my understanding of these men’s lived
experiences while interpreting their narrative experiences. I hope that
through each episode, you invite yourself into their lives. This invitation

16 D E PA R T U R E S I N C R I T I C A L Q U A L I T AT I V E R E S E A R C H WINTER 2023
 centers on their stories. From the Outside Looking In allows readers to
center Blackness, femininity, and queerness through storytelling.
Today’s episode unpacks the societal constructs of Blackness, gender
identity and expression, and sexuality from your personal, professional,
and mentorship experiences in higher ed. Today, we will hear from
Wayne, Germain, Isaiah, Tre, Gabriel, Jamal, Kai, Brendan, Jay,
Roger, Shawn, and myself of From the Outside Looking In in hearing
more about how they define masculinity and queerness. First, I’m excited
to hear your thoughts on this question. Can you all share with me, “how

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do you define masculinity and queerness and how does it show up for
you all”?

[As they all look at each other, deciding on which person should speak first.
Wayne thoughtfully shares how masculinity and queerness can be
complicated terms to operate and express within LGBTQ communities.]
Wayne: I think oftentimes, society tries to make those two separate
entities as if they can’t coexist at the same time. Interesting enough.
I was just having a conversation about this with a friend of mine last
night, about how even within the LGBTQ community where you would
think there’d be a little bit more flexibility in terms of queerness and
identity and expression of sexuality.
That there’s still this need to strive for ideal optimum masculinity
really been something that I’ve noticed over the years, especially moving
from [the Midwest] and purposely working in [the Midwest] to coming
out here and seeing how not only is that message very similar in those
three contexts, but I was very different in these three contexts.
So yeah, masculinity is a very toxic space to be in. And when you add
the level and layer of queerness on top of it, it becomes even more so
problematic. And something that I can’t separate out of it is then how
much racism then plays into it too. Because then it’s just layer on top of
layer on top of layer. So I often think of those three, and just how they’re
entangled but how they can also be problematic because they’re striving
for something that somebody else has identified for us to utilize and
therefore navigate the world, when in actuality it’s a social construct that
shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

[Roger gives an anecdote of how he refrains from using the word queerness
and how it does not fit how he identifies.]
Roger: My first thing, I’m queer, I guess I’m not saying that I’m totally
opposed to it. I just don’t. And that’s primarily because and this is gonna

Hutchings | Kiki Methodology 17

 sound really crazy, because I’m also very black and very Southern, and
I use the N word all the time. . . . Queer has definitely changed. I think
now I’ve had I have the language for for my understanding of queer
again, not to say that I wouldn’t use it. I have used it. I tend not to, and
when I do, it’s kind of like, I don’t feel right.
As a thing of offense to me, it’s for me, I know that people are using it
now to sort of as a, in a in many ways, not everybody but sometimes as
a catch-all for all of these different identities within the spectrum.
However, I would prefer this is also why you shouldn’t tend not to

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say people of color because I like to also be very intentional about who
I’m talking about. So if and if I can’t take out that I said this on
Facebook about something else, but if one can’t take out the time to
identify and call someone you know, in a very appropriate way and not
use a catch-all you got to check it. You I think maybe you got you maybe
at times you gotta check you know your intentions.

[Isaiah shares his thoughts on masculinity and queerness. He feels that

masculinity is something many people search for.]

Isaiah: I think when I hear masculine and queerness a lot comes to mind.
It’s very hard. I think that I would say, if we look on apps, you know, the
idea of certain gay individuals’ queerness. There’s a huge trying search for
masculinity, but I feel like if you’re searching for masculinity, it’s
a feminine trait. I think then, what I mean by that quote is that so
long we’ve been bullied for being feminine or being flamboyant, or
whatever or not, per not sticking to traditional hegemonic black
masculinity. That it’s hard to navigate some of those arenas sometimes.
And so sometimes masculinity is a double-edged sword you both we
both repress it, but we still want it. And we want to obtain it. And
sometimes when it comes down to queerness, it becomes it can become
pretty toxic that we’re trying to push this image like this is what
masculinity is, so nobody won’t pick on me anymore. And as a result,
that’s why we look to masculinity. That’s why a lot of I think a lot of
masculinity sometimes tries to a lot of images on the media tries to
downplay femininity. But at the end of the day, it’s usually always the
feminine guys that are the ones doing the work so the masculine guys
can reap the benefits that they need.
When we look at Marsha P. Johnson, we look at we look at the
individuals that are doing the work behind HIV are and pushing in
that are in the in their in that work aspect is the feminine gaze. It’s the
trans women, trans men, gender non-conforming, gender non-binary it’s

18 D E PA R T U R E S I N C R I T I C A L Q U A L I T AT I V E R E S E A R C H WINTER 2023
 those individuals that we consider quote unquote feminine and not
transmits excuse me, but like trans women that we can necessarily
consider feminine are those individuals that are meant to work for
the quote unquote, masculine, stereotypical white muscle gays to do
their thing?

[Jamal shares how difficult it is to define masculinity, due to its harmful

connotation of the word.]

Jamal: Whew. If any, we did talk about this in my class, about masculinity

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and how we define that also incorporating toxic masculinity. And
I think for me, I, it’s hard for me to answer that masculinity question
because when I think about it, it is always rooted in a negative
connotation. Like, I can’t because to me a healthy man, I don’t
I don’t know. I can see a healthy masculinity and I feel like with
queerness that’s a little bit of both. I think it just depends on how the
person to define it for themselves and for me.
Quortne: Thank you all for sharing. Does anyone else want to share their
thoughts?

[Germain, affirming Wayne’s story, shares how he thinks masculinity

operates from cis-white men.]

Germain: Yeah, so I think masculinity is also one of these things. I think

we’ve been taught a very specific understanding view of masculinity,
thinking about it as being attributed to male identified folks often
folks who are a sex assigned male at birth, folks who have penises, and
thinking about like men that are strong men that are able to provide
men that are the hunters, the aggressors, able. I honestly aligned a lot of
what I’ve learned about masculinity with cis-white maleness.
And so, anything in the category of a white, privileged male, that is
what masculinity aspires to be. And so, when we think about
communities of color, queer men of color, we’re often not afforded
the same opportunities or access that white males are, whether queer
or straight, and so we never meet that standard of what masculinity is.
And so, I think that is a lot of, well, I won’t get into that, but a lot of the
reasons why we have issues with toxic masculinity in communities of
color is because of that issue.

[Tre, looking over at Germain and Wayne, shaking his head in agreement,
shares how he doesn’t subscribe to masculinity (i.e., “ M word”) and how
men uphold masculinity practices.]

Hutchings | Kiki Methodology 19

 Tre: That M word it just I can’t relate to it. It doesn’t. It doesn’t really
captivate me doesn’t grab my attention. It’s a word that has been more
oppressive to men than beneficial. Holding up men to the standard of
masculinity is like almost the same as being oppressed. Because not all
men fit up to that standard because we’re not all meant to fit up to that
standard. So, the idea that masculinity is something that, you know, was,
I didn’t say conjugated it’s something that was like, decided, by society to
make men appear more a certain way or look a certain way, or come off
a certain way.

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[Kai decides to chime in after Tre, expressing how toxic traits have been
exposed to Black men throughout their upbringing.]

Kai: I just feel like not that I grew up in a toxic household when it comes
to toxic masculinity, it’s just that I see through my interactions like
through undergrad just through just enter like, like mills and all that
I’ve seen a lot of toxic traits that most Black males carry because of the
way they were raised up and stuff of that nature. Not to blame my
parents because you know, I tell people all the time, parents teach
what they know.
And so, they know that’s why they’re going to teach it. But it’s up to
us to change that toxic mentality. It’s up to us to really change, like, how
we go about handling males, and more specifically, how to speak about
Black males. So, handling Black males and then growing up in today’s
society.

[Isaiah furthers what Kai’s anecdote said how being both masculine and
feminine can be challenging and frustrating when he is in different spaces as
a butch queen.]

Isaiah: I’m in that. It’s hard. It’s frustrating. It’s annoying sometimes. But
it’s the role that I have to play, whether I acknowledge it today or
whether they acknowledge that tomorrow or you know, I don’t know
if you’re a religious person or two people doesn’t maybe watch it just, but
you know, God, whoever you believe in the Goddess, whatever. They are
the same book; they all talk about the same book. But when you look at
that full circle, you have to do the work that necessity needed to be
sometimes that scary being the first being the first is always terrible.
Why? Because you’re the rough draft, you’re gonna burn, you’re
gonna get the races you’re gonna get the scratches, you’re gonna get
the right the red mark like this and shit. But you have to continue to
push for so that the next generation can do better. And that goes down

20 D E PA R T U R E S I N C R I T I C A L Q U A L I T AT I V E R E S E A R C H WINTER 2023
 the line. It goes down the line, and no, I’m not necessarily the first. I’m
one of many rough drafts, but I’m not there yet. I think that you make
your space, and you make your you make yourself full supported, and
you make yourself feel that you belong there.
I think it’s always a constant battle of gayness of Blackness of queer
identity of masculinity and femininity, that like for my identity, because
as a butch queen, I’m both masculine and feminine. I’m very gender
fluid. So, depending on which way I want to take it. My identity as when
I’m more flamboyant I have for you stay where you have to just stand

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your ground. And it’s hard, because you don’t think you don’t think
people are going to respect you. Well, you know, they’ll respect you, of
course, face value, but are they really trying to understand where you’re
going?

[Isaiah continues sharing why he loves to identify as a butch queen in

owning his femininity.]

Isaiah: Because baby, butch queen all day, honey butch queen all day.
Now we’re getting to a topic I like, I think honestly, (laughing)
femininity. Searching for masculinity is a feminine trait. So, let’s start.
Let’s start there. And what I mean by that is that when you have this
when you search for a masculine me, Ah, that’s what it is. But I think
that femininity is it’s pure, it’s under it’s the Yin to the Yang of
masculinity, but it’s much more nurturing. It’s often seen as weak
when it’s actually I think more powerful than masculinity.
I think that masculinity is an outward looking that is powerful while
femininity is an inward looking that is powerful. Though you, I might
appear to be soft and supple on the forefront, I cut your throat, and you
wouldn’t even know. Um, so it’s a sense of false bravado. Um, but
I think that femininity comes into play with like, again, that’s with
the creative side that’s the that’s the I’m, I’m me, and I’m only gonna
be me, and I’m gonna force myself to have to express myself in the way
that I want. Where masculinity is a strict, rigid rules. Femininity to an
extent is more open and freeing.

[Gabriel adds to what Isaiah shares in how he often has to change his voice
tone as a nurse when working with specific patients.]

Gabriel: And you know, just trying to figure out when my femininity
comes out when my masculinity comes out, like I remember, I see
patients at a hospital. And so, this happened like two days ago. So,
I was approached by this patient and voices Hi, Hi, my name is

Hutchings | Kiki Methodology 21

 Gabriel. I’m here to help blah, blah. And he looked at me a certain way,
and my voice dropped like I dropped out voice immediately. I mean,
I did it so quickly. I didn’t even like, I saw myself doing it in a way . . .
well, that didn’t feel good.
I mean, by the end of the ession with me I was as gay as I want it to be,
but it’s just seeing how I was like triggered to, cold switch real quick and
just give him this blank sort of less dramatic, less nice and sweet tone. Ah
yeah. Ah, but yeah, I do I that’s why I picked the [art curation] I did
because it just exudes who I want to be and even oh, I’ll show you this

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even the my [art curation] for when I like block out my camera I’ve just
love this picture of me because it embodies who I want to be like moving
forward in life like just here present and it’s as feminine as I want to be.
Yeah. But it’s been hard. (Podcast-Style Focus Group, June 2020)
[Jamal, agreeing with what Gabriel shared, expresses how he views the
word queerness and what it embodies for him.]
Jamal: I feel with queerness that’s a little bit of both. I think it just
depends on how the person defines it for themselves and for me.
I believe that queerness is more of a liberation in a sense of I’m able
to embody and embrace the feminine energy that I have and not become
hyper masculine or toxic in a sense of whatever spaces that I’m in. And
so, you know, I’m not saying I’m perfect and every space I go into, I’m
like, Oh, I’m just gonna do this.
I’m gonna have this healthy energy within myself, but also do find
myself to check myself and don’t need to exert my masculinity. I can just,
you know, become or whatever the case may be. So, for me hard to find
queerness is more so just liberation and understanding that I can
embrace all sorts of energy, that I embody what is masculinity and
femininity, I like to have a balance of both.
Quortne: Thank you all for sharing, whew chile.
[Folxs in the space laughing and smiling at one another]

Outro and Call to Action

Quortne: So, what I’m hearing you all saying is that you experience
tensions within your identities to exist in various spaces as BGBQM.
Whether internalizing how you all define and experience masculinity
and queerness, it can pose as separate sides on the same coin. While
gender and sexuality performance will always inform how you express
your intersecting identities, being a BGBQM creates more complex ways
of being for you all as you shared Wayne. For you, Germain, you brought

22 D E PA R T U R E S I N C R I T I C A L Q U A L I T AT I V E R E S E A R C H WINTER 2023
 up a great point on how we can’t separate masculinity from its
construction from whiteness, specifically white men.
Tre, while you loathe the “m-word,” there is a standard that men
often have to emulate within a society that operates in masculine norms.
Kai, you shared that Black men often are socialized with specific
messaging about harmful masculinity practices within the home
environment. As you all express masculinity and femininity as Black
men, there are times when you experience some dissonance with other
cishet men.

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Isaiah, I appreciate how you provided some layers of complexity, even
within our communities, to express our gender. I’m sure it is
cumbersome to express your identity as a butch queen, given how
others perceive you complicating existing cishet gender norms.
Gabriel, having to negotiate your voice change as a nurse is very
taxing to do not only in a health profession but as a Black gay man.
You should never have to deepen your voice to accommodate for
someone else’s comfortability. Finally, Jamal, its beautiful to hear for
yourself, its healthy to balance masculinity and femininity.
This is something I would like to further explore as a group in our
next topics. You all speak to how we, as BGBQM, are situated in the
context of being hyper-visible in masculine-centered spaces like MoC
and BMI. However, at times, you discern when you feel comfortable
enough to express your gender performance at others’ expense. That
discernment can prevent you all from existing at the intersections of
race, gender, and sexuality.
It’s very insightful for you to provide these various perspectives on
how you all define these words and experience them as BGBQM. I look
forward to hearing your thoughts on the next topic that further explores
your lived experiences in MoC and BMI. I want to extend my
appreciation to you all for sharing your lives with me and the audience.
[You hear claps, fingers snapping, and side chatter between the men in the
space.]

Podcast Message
This topic explored the confines of masculinity and queerness for these men
in their MoC and BMI program spaces. From the Outside Looking In is
a written podcast that examines the experiences of Black, gay, bisexual, and
queer men within MoC and BMI programs in higher education. The narra-
tor’s voice is in italic font.

Hutchings | Kiki Methodology 23

CRITICAL OFFERINGS AND THOUGHTS OF KIKI METHODOLOGY

As I illustrated how to present the kiki script of my findings through a kiki

methodology approach, I want to conclude by connecting my findings with
kiki methodology components. Findings from the kiki script illuminated the
distinct and niche ways that media, artistic expression, and storytelling cel-
ebrate Black queer worldmaking and meaning-making. As mentioned earlier
in this article, kiki methodology aims to explore Black queer meaning-
making, Black queer storytelling, and Black queer artistic expression. The

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findings unearthed how BGBQM reflected and discerned how they navi-
gated, negotiated, and existed within BMI and MoC mentorship programs
within their intersectional identities. The findings illustrated how these men
shared personal narratives in thick and rich descriptions of their experiences
within these mentorship program settings through storytelling. By sharing
their stories through Black queer vernacular, the veil of heteronormativity is
nonexistent in how honest, vulnerable, and critical they share their lives
without judgment. Ultimately, the study centered on Black queer individuals
narrating and sharing their lives with other Black queer people, exemplifying
the importance and necessity of kiki methodology.
As kiki methodology is an emerging methodological approach within
qualitative research, it is essential to offer some critical perspectives, implica-
tions, and forms of inquiry. Kiki methodology is meant to be a research
pathway into evolving the utility of this emerging methodology and method.
As kiki methodology emerged from higher education settings, exploring this
methodology in secondary education, gender and women’s studies, and other
disciplines must explore, examine, and consider how to actualize its limitless
possibilities. As research and theory inform practice and praxis within higher
education settings, how can kiki methodology be a space of inquiry and
practice in areas other than research and scholarship? Recent research has
explored this question using podcast narratives within qualitative research
(Hutchings, 2023). Engaging in podcast narratives is an opportunity to
mobilize using kiki methodology as a qualitative conduit. Kiki methodology
integrates media, art, and storytelling that celebrates Black queer worldmak-
ing and lived experiences. Utilizing a kiki methodology curates and cultivates
a complex, nuanced, and authentic narrative of Black queer individuals
within qualitative research. The uniqueness of the kiki methodology creates
a brave space environment that often does not happen in society. Critical
qualitative methods must center words of Black queer people that honor,

24 D E PA R T U R E S I N C R I T I C A L Q U A L I T AT I V E R E S E A R C H WINTER 2023
affirm, and validate their lived experiences without the white and hetero-
normative gaze. In offering a kiki methodological lens, this pays homage and
ode to the endless possibilities of Black queer storytelling and worldmaking
practices that honor the ways we as Black queer people exist and live fully in
our Blackness and queerness. n

Q U O RTN E R. H UTC HI NG S (they, them) is a first-generation college graduate, proud Ronald E.

McNair scholar alum, and assistant professor of higher education at Northern Illinois University.
Their research primarily focuses on Black gay, bisexual, queer, and non-binary undergraduate and

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graduate students’ academic and social experiences in higher education, student affairs professionals’
experiences in student and academic affairs, undergraduate and graduate students’ experiences with
substance use and recovery, and critical qualitative methodologies (e.g., queer phenomenology, arts-
based research, and collaborative autoethnography). This reserach is inspired by the many Black,
Latinx, and Indigenous trans, non-binary, queer, femme, feminist scholars, practitioners, and
communities who center love, joy, and resistance in their work. Thank you to the scholars of
joteria studies, sista circle methodology, and two-spirited scholarship as this methdology is because
of your important work. Quortne is indebted to Leonard Taylor, Jordan Harper, Steve D. Mobley Jr,
and Reginald Blockett for thinking with them throughout the formation of this research. Quortne
would like to acknowledge their dissertation committee, mentors, friends, family, partner,
community, ancestors, RHOC, and Blk& for their unwavering support in making this
manuscript possible. https://orcid.org/0000-0001-7043-9105

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