Introduction

Ahoy hoy! Welcome to a 6,000+ word, 25 cocktail behemoth. Based on fictional cocktails from
cyberpunk bartending game VA-11 Hall-A, I’ve taken 25 names, 3 keywords, up to 3 serving
characteristics, and pieces of sprite art to create a wild mix of brightly coloured and whacky drink
ideas ranging from cheap and simple backyard beverages to three course meals in glittering dessert
cocktail form. Keep in mind this is not even in first draft stage yet, is subject to what’s available local
to me, and does include references to the game which might seem odd without context. Problems
include horrific formatting, completely off-target volume totals for the suggested glass types,
amongst others. As this is meant to be as much of a fantasy cocktail list as it is meant to be a source
of practical drinks night ideas to tempt friends, there’s also a lot of work to do marking certain
ingredients as optional or finding more common substitutions, and lazy shortcuts like keeping ice
used in the shaking process for the drink rather than pouring over fresh ice for certain drinks.
Normally I wouldn’t share something so half-finished but this was already an epic saga to write, so
helping hands will be well received!

So without further ado, I present 25 almost entirely original cocktails. To (mis)quote the game - It’s
time to change drinks and mix lives ;)
“(Big) Bad Touch”

"We're nothing but mammals after all."

Keywords: Sour, Classy, Vintage. On the rocks.
Glass: Collins, failing that, highball.
Ingredients: (Big version. Halve for regular)
50ml Green Sour Apple Schnapps/Sour Monkey.
100ml White wine (soft/fruity, Semi-sweet, non-sparkling)
Method: Put half the green sour apple liquor and all of the rest of the ingredients into a shaker.
Shake vigorously. Transfer to glass. Use back of spoon to dribble the rest of the green sour apple
liquor to the top of the glass. Serve with lime peel garnish.
Discussion: Traditionally it’s said the bartender must make a joke or pun based on the name of the
drink, and/or the fact that the customer has requested one. Traditionally the customer gives the
bartender a slap … PS: Although the keyword says vintage, don’t actually waste your good wine on
this one! In fact, some sweet & sour mix may make a more palatable version for some, though some
added vodka will be required to keep the ABV reasonable in that case.

“Beer”

"Traditionally brewed beer has become a luxury, but this one's pretty close to the real deal..."
Keywords: Bubbly, Classic, Vintage.
Glass: 500ml Beer stein (Or 1L for ‘Big’ version).
Ingredients:
1 part Guinness or other dark stout or ale (something cheap for authenticity)
1 part Dry or Semi-Dry sparkling wine
Method: For authenticity, unlike a regular beer, you want this to foam a fair bit! Dump the two in
the glass and froth/mix with a spoon or fork. Should result in ~50ml of foam.
Discussion: Imagine a dystopian future where even beer is too expensive to drink. Cutting a cheap
dark beer with light coloured wine to approximate your favourite lager or pilsner. Well, now you
know how at least … PS: This is essentially a ‘Black Velvet’ – But I couldn’t think of anything that
would taste remotely beer-like other than beer itself! … You could perhaps try substituting cider for
the wine, if you feel so inclined.
“Bleeding Jane”

"Say the name of this drink three times in front of a mirror and you'll look like a fool."
Keywords: Spicy, Classic, Sobering. Blended.
Glass: Champagne glass
Ingredients:
Small chunk of Watermelon (enough to almost half fill the glass) or 75mL Tomato juice
40mL Vodka or Kirsch/Kirschwasser (the clear, ~40% ABV kind)
40mL Red fruit liquor/schnapps: Apple or Berry based works best. No sour flavours!
10mL (or to taste) Tabasco hot sauce
(Optional) Dash Celery (or failing that, Angostura) Bitters
(Optional) Splash Grenadine
Method: Add watermelon to shaker, muddle aggressively. Add other ingredients + ice, shake
vigorously! Strain into glass.
Discussion: While this is no doubt an allusion to the iconic Bloody Mary, I figured I’d do a re-
imagining while keeping the red colour and spiciness of the original… But with the option of omitting
some of the liquor for more watermelon (+ a tiny touch of grenadine syrup for colour), or for tomato
juice for a (slightly) more sobering version of the original! Bonus points to the ‘tender for punning
this one up too! – Afterall, it’s the perfect solution for those issues periodically experienced by Janes
everywhere ;)

“Bloom Light”

"It's so unnecessarily brown...."

Keywords: Spicy, Promo, Bland. Aged, and On the rocks.
Glass: Margarita, or failing that, a wide brimmed coup or cocktail/martini style glass.
Ingredients:
50mL Spiced Rum (the older the better for authenticity).
50mL Ginger Beer/Ale
50mL Cola
Ice
Method: This is a bit of a tricky one, as you actually want the soft drinks to be flat. Shaking soft
drinks in a traditional shaker is not usually a good idea, so I’d use a funnel (or careful hands) to pour
the soft drink components into a plastic bottle (the larger the better), squeeze as much air out as
practical, and shake gently. Repeat, letting air out until bottle fails to inflate, shaking with increasing
vigour. Pour this into a standard shaker with the rest of the ingredients and shake gently at first in
case gas remains, then vigorously. Strain well into glass. Garnish with Cinnamon (stick and/or lightly
sugared powder).
Discussion: Combining the spice of the Rum, ginger, and (if available) cinnamon definitely fulfils the
spicy (and brown!) components of this drink … But it’s the cola that makes it bland(er) rather than
overpoweringly spicy. In fact, off-brand cola might end up a better pick for this one folks.

“Blue fairy”

"One of these will make all your teeth turn blue. Hope you brushed them well."
Keywords: Sweet, Girly, Soft. Aged. Alcohol Optional.
Glass: Highball, failing that, Collins.
Ingredients:
50mL Blue Curacao
50mL Blue Alize
200mL Blue Powerade/Gatorade
(optional) 50mL Milk (regular or coconut)
Method: Add liquors & milk to shaker with ice, shake, strain into glass, top with Gatorade, stir
gently. A sugared rim can be used for garnish.
Discussion: This drink is supposed to be optionally alcoholic. Unfortunately I don’t have the same
option regarding myself, and so this is my version of the drink ;) … Seriously though, if alcohol is off
the table, then consider Red Bull Blue or other blue soft drinks in place of the Blue curacao, and
maybe some blue raspberry syrup or candy in place of the Alize. Inspired by a jug-based drink called
the ‘Gigawatt’ served at my university bar. In that version, regular red bull & a bulk of lemonade
substitutes for the Gatorade, along with some vodka to keep the ABV up. Interesting additions could
include (raspberry?) vodka alongside the Curacao & Alize, and/or a slug of Grenadine syrup for a
more purple, sweeter style.

“Brandtini”

"8 out of 10 smug assholes would recommend it but they're too busy being smug assholes."
Keywords: Sweet, Classy, Happy. Aged.
Glass: Martini (failing that, Cocktail)
Ingredients:
50mL Brandy (Traditional or Apple brandy – Older aged for authenticity)
20mL Sweet Red Vermouth
(Optional) 30mL Grand Marnier (Failing that, Cointreau)
(Optional) Dash Angostura Bitters
Method: Shake with ice, not aggressively but for extended period. Strain well. Garnish with orange
peel.
Discussion: This was a hard one for me. How to make a cocktail that is supposedly classy, but is some
sort of sweet, brownish martini? One could suggest the Manhattan, of course – But that would be
too easy. Instead, I give you a cocktail that cheekily manages to lay claim to the partial Martini
namesake, by using Brandy as the basis for the Brandtini, while also staying classy and sweet with
the usage of Sweet vermouth (something completely forgotten in many X-Tinis like the Appletini),
and some (optional) Grand Marnier & bitters to keep that sweetness and complexity up. Increase
volume of Brandy & S. Vermouth by an extra half measure if G. Marnier is omitted.

“Cobalt Velvet”

"It's like champaigne [sic] served on [sic] a cup that had a bit of cola left."
Keywords: Bubbly, Classy, Burning. On the rocks.
Glass: large Goblet or Snifter (failing that, tumbler)
Ingredients:
30mL Cola
90mL Dec or Semi-Dec Champagne
30mL Blue Curacao
Ice
Method: Add Cola & generous amount (enough to easily fill interior of glass even after some
melting) of ice to shaker. Stir aggressively then shake, you want it to be slightly flat and ice cold.
Transfer to glass, with ice. Add fresh 3-5 cubes ice, curacao, and champagne to shaker, stir briefly.
Strain slowly over ice, making sure to leave the cola as a visible layer underneath the cobalt blue
above. Garnish with shaved/thinly sliced watermelon pre-soaked in blue curacao until colour stains
(may wish to mix in some simple syrup into the curacao first mind). Include straw or other stirring
implement.
Discussion: This was a very tricky one also. On one hand it has a specific taste, on the other hand the
unique look makes achieving that taste rather difficult. In the end, I decided to take a literal
interpretation and simply make this just as the inspiration text suggests, but with of course some
blue curacao for the colour. The trick to making this a palatable cocktail I’m afraid, may be simply
the selection of appropriate Champagne, or perhaps swapping the garnish for blue-curacao soaked
lime for champagne deemed overly sweet. At the end of the day, perceptions of whether a drink is
too sweet or not are very subjective, so it’s important that the consumer can easily adjust that level
so that the drink seems neither sweet nor overly dry – As that wouldn’t quite fit with the intent of
this particular cocktail!

“Crevice Spike”

"It will knock the drunkenness out of you or knock you out cold."
Keywords: Sour, Manly, Sobering. Blended. Alcohol optional.
Glass: Rocks/Old Fashioned (failing that, tumbler)
Ingredients:
30mL Midori
30mL Sour Apple liquor/Schnapps
30mL Bourbon (Apple Whiskey, Applejack, or Apple brandy could be great substitutes too!)
10mL Lime Juice
Method: Combine all ingredients in shaker with ice, shake aggressively, strain into glass.
Alternatively, use a blender with a couple brief pulses for a sleety, ice-crystal texture.
Discussion: Another tricky (and ‘underappreciated’) alcohol-optional example here! In this case, we
can substitute the apple liquor & whisk(e)y portion with apple juice, and use a green melon syrup or
cordial in place of the midori - Some lime juice cordial could also go well here to keep the sourness
high! Keeping this drink ‘manly’ but also drinkable is difficult. Between the high (knockout!) alcohol
content and the main potency coming from Bourbon, I figure It’s close enough!

“Flaming Moai”

Keywords: Sour, Classic, Classy

Glass: Tiki (heh, right. Beer stein it is then).
Ingredients:
200mL Sour Margarita mix (after dilution to taste) – Or Chilled Cola with lime juice to taste for
something less insane.
45+mL Random spirits & liquors but including at minimum one part each of Tequila (I suggest blanco
perhaps), Crème De Menthe, and Peppermint Schnapps.
30mL Highest ABV dark Rum you can obtain. Failing this, you may add something potent to regular
rum like grain alcohol or everclear if you want it easily lightable.
10mL grape flavoured cough syrup (children’s, preferably). Or, if you want something less insane, try
instead crème de violet (to taste).
Method: Pour chilled Margarita premix or Cola into glass. Throw the peppermint schnapps, crème
de menthe, and tequila (and anything else you’re crazy enough to add) into a shaker with some ice.
Shake vigorously. Place a spoon in the glass and try to transfer the spirits & ice to a top-layer over
the cola/M. mix. Add high ABV rum to shaker with cough syrup, no ice. Stir or shake vigorously, it
might not mix well. Layer this over the ice carefully after adding a lime wedge, and finally sprinkle
some cinnamon powder on top before lighting. Extinguish before consumption ;) PS: Depending on
what you have on hand, getting this to light may be a challenge. Gently warming the cough syrup &
rum shaker with a hot tap water bath is a great idea both to help it mix better, but also float and
light better. Even 40% ABV rum will light at least briefly if you get it warm enough, but don’t be
stupid enough to heat over flame or microwave it! You could also try throwing the cough syrup in
the ice portion rather than the rum portion, as otherwise it’s likely to increase density of the rum
and cause it to sink/mix before you can light it. Include stirring implement for your experimental
subject :P
Discussion: To be honest, this is a joke drink. Clearly a reference to the Flaming Moe (Homer, really)
of Simpsons fame. The drink as stands would be a terrible abomination if we are to go off the canon
of the three crazy liquors that homer finds in his kitchen, so if you actually want to make something
sane, I’d omit all three and instead only add anything you think might just fit the drink (bourbon,
perhaps). If you stick with 1-3 appropriate spirits instead, and the rum & violet toplayer with lime &
cinnamon garnish – You could end up with a rather nice (and pyrotechnically impressive) drink! … I’d
probably also make it cola based rather than M. mix, sour keyword or not ;)

“Fluffy Dream”

"A couple of these will make your tongue feel velvet-y. More of them and you'll be sleeping soundly."
Keywords: Sweet, Girly, Soft. Aged. Alcohol optional.
Glass: Hurricane
Ingredients:
30mL Blue Alize (or, Blue Curacao)
30mL Vodka (Optional)
50mL Margarita Mix (after dilution) or Lemon/Lime Sorbet
50mL Blue Gatorade/Powerade
50mL Lemonade
30mL Simple syrup (or less, to taste)
1x Lime (small)
Method: Add Blue Curacao/Alize, Vodka, Gatorade, Simple Syrup, and M. mix/Sorbet to shaker with
ice. Shake vigorously. Pour into glass. Slice a round cross-section of the lime to use as rim garnish,
take a couple quarters of what’s left and throw ‘em in. Top with lemonade and stir thoroughly.
Discussion: I can’t quite put my finger on just how to make this drink more girly, so I’ll settle for
matching the look and trying to match the other keywords hah. This alcohol-optional cocktail is also
one of the easier ones to rob of alcoholic goodness. Simply remove the first two ingredients, and
substitute with passionfruit in one form or another, along with some of the juice from a jar of
cherries. The Aged link is tenuous, but the Alize contains cognac so … Surely that has at least some
aging involved!

“Fringe Weaver”

"It's like drinking ethylic alcohol with a spoonful of sugar."

Keywords: Bubbly, Classy, Strong. Aged.
Glass: Margarita, or Coup.
Ingredients:
60mL White Rum or Vodka (95% pure grain alcohol if you’re crazy!)
30mL Irish Cream
4x Strawberries (or to taste, for blending)
Spoonful of Sugar (Optional, or to taste)
1 egg white (Optional)
Method: Add all ingredients to blender with small amount (~3 medium cubes) of ice. Blend until
generous amount of foam is created, and then transfer to glass. Piling froth on top is the name of
the game here. Garnish with either nothing, or a pair of pink musk candy stick (if you know what that
is). You can also do this one with just a shaker rather than a blender, but then you’ll need to use
some strawberry flavoured milk powder rather than whole strawberries & sugar. In fact, that’s
probably the easier way to go about it …
Discussion: What a strange one this is! Bubbly, yet clearly a pinky off-white colour, classy … Yet
pinky-white … And strong like pure ethylic alcohol. (Yet pinky-white). Hmm. Well, what I ended up
going for has upended the definition of bubbly: Not for this drink the common carbonation of not-
so-classy soft drink mixers. No, the bubbles in this drink are within the milky froth sat upon it! The
drink is definitely strong, too… But I’ll have to leave it up to you to decide whether this is ‘Classy’
enough.

“Frothy Water”

"PG-rated shows' favorite Beer ersatz since 2040."

Keywords: Bubbly, Bland, Classic. Aged.
Glass: Beer mug
Ingredients: (For Pint or 500mL size glass. Scale as required for glass size)
50mL Whisk(e)y (Preferably something as cheap as possible. Stuff that pretends to be rye, or failing
that, scotch might be best)
400mL Hard, dry, Cider
1x Egg White
Method: Pour 350mL cider & whisk(e)y into container (shaker is fine), and stir gently. Add generous
amounts of ice. Do not disturb it, just let it sit to chill and pick up a little water. When suitably chilled
and watered, transfer to beer glass. Combine egg white and remaining cider in large shaker with a
large cube of ice, and shake vigorously. Place spoon in mug and pour (with strainer) mixture over
spoon to form a frothy, foamy top.
Discussion: Another beer rip-off it is then! This time I feel like we have a little more leeway on what
goes into this one than the one actually called ‘Beer’, other than the frothy top, of course. So, some
whisk(e)y and cider should together give the colour and something of the flavour (and despite the
Aged tag, don’t waste your good stuff here!). Of course, the egg white & cider together should make
a generous amount of foam if shaken aggressively – In fact, probably plenty for splitting across two
‘Frothy Water’s 

“Grizzly Temple”

"This one's kinda unbearable. It's mostly for fans of the movie it was used on."
Keywords: Bitter, Bland, Promo. Blended.
Glass: Coup or Margarita
Ingredients:
25mL Amaro (Your choice in ascending bitterness: Averna, Amaro Montenegro, Amaro di Angostura,
Fernet-Branca)
15mL Blue Curacao
60mL Ginger Ale (or, optionally, 30mL pineapple juice & 30mL Grapefruit, Orange, Apple, or Mango
juice, or your choice of bitter juice(s) with other yellow-ish juice(s), to taste)
(Optional) Dash Angostura bitters
Method: Add all ingredients with ice to shaker, stir aggressively (you want the ginger ale to be flat!),
optionally shake it once it’s flat enough to avoid exploding your shaker (or, for authenticity use a
blender with a small amount of additional ice), or use a larger plastic bottle, deflating as needed.
Strain into glass. Garnish with maraschino cherry.
Discussion: A drink that’s both bitter but bland, and a somewhat dirty green colour to boot huh?
Based on a movie I’ve never heard of? No worries! Starting off with the classic bitter ingredient,
Amaro (which literally means bitter in Italian), we simply add Ginger Ale or the right fruit juices to
balance the bitterness somewhat, while maintaining a yellow/brownish hue ready to exploit with a
judicious application of blue curacao, which has its own notes of bitterness to bring to the table. The
use of Ginger Ale & cherry garnish is a nod to the mocktail, the Shirley Temple, which I can only
imagine is what is being referenced here. The real trick with this drink is to judge which Amaro suits
the consumer. Fernet-Branca is infamous for being powerfully bitter, and even a mere 25mL will
likely overpower the drink in the eyes (or should that be tastebuds?) of someone not quite hardened
to it. Campari has the potential to be suitable for someone who would prefer something more citrus-
y than bitter, although it would ruin the colour(!).

“Gut Punch”

"It's supposed to mean "a punch made of innards", but the name actually described what you feel while
drinking it."
Keywords: Bitter, Manly, Strong. Aged. Alcohol optional.
Glass: Rocks, or Old Fashioned
Ingredients:
40mL Jagermeister or (or your favourite European herbal digestive, like Underberg or Unicum – Or
even Drambuie!)
40mL Aged rum (Dark, spiced, or whatever you prefer and the older the better - Just not white rum!)
80mL Pineapple or Orange Juice
(optional) 15mL Lemon Juice & heaped Tablespoon Sugar
Dash Angostura Bitters
Method: Combine all ingredients in shaker, shake vigorously with ice. Strain into glass. No garnish
for authenticity, or orange peel for nicer presentation.
Discussion: The gut punch! Something strong enough that you can feel it sit in your stomach. I’ve
gone for a mix of potent and strong-tasting Jager with a mixer to match. The rum both brings up the
alcohol level and is a nod to the ‘aged’ style of the drink. Could also work with Bourbon rather than
rum. Feel free to swap half of the pineapple juice for a bitter energy drink like Red Bull, or for
Grapefruit juice for something a little more like a punch as in the drink, and not a physical blow to
your innards. This is also meant to be a potentially alcohol-free drink, which is rather hard given the
other requirements, so try the suggestion of swapping half the pineapple juice for OJ, and maybe
add just a splash of grenadine and apple juice to replace the sweetness and volume given by the
spirits.

“Marsblast”

"One of these is enough to leave your face red like the actual planet."
Keywords: Spicy, Manly, Strong. Blended.
Glass: Highball, failing that, Collins.
Ingredients:
60mL Sparkling wine or Cider (That real cheap $5/bottle stuff or the like would be perfect, but you
can go for a Spumante/Moscato like Asti’s Riccadonna if you want something still sweet but still
classy. Or, for a ‘Manlier’ version, use hard apple or pear cider!)
40mL Spiced Rum or Drambuie
10mL Tabasco (or to taste)
40mL Apple & Mango Juice or Orange juice (Consider trying ‘fake’ OJ, wether it’s made from cordial,
concentrate powder, or merely one of those orange ‘drinks’ that are only 5% actual orange for
authenticity)
Ice (Optional. The drink benefits from ice, but for authenticity it can be left out of the actual glass.
Double juice content if ice is left out.)
40mL Chambord or Crème de Cassis (i.e. blackcurrent liquor)
20mL Grenadine
Method: Combine wine, rum, and OJ in shaker with ice. Stir aggressively and either strain or transfer
to glass. Then add Crème de Cassis, Tabasco, & Grenadine to shaker (adding ice if not left in
previously), shake aggressively, but briefly. Strain this carefully down the side of the glass while
tilted, with the intention that it runs down the walls of the glass and accumulates at the bottom. It’s
recommended to stir final product until desired gradient of colour (before serving) or homogenous
colour (before drinking) is achieved. Garnish with dusting of cinnamon / cinnamon sugar (or use a
glass with it pre-applied to the rim), and optional maraschino cherry.
Discussion: The first of the 3 ‘Blast cocktails! - Okay so this is obviously a play on the tequila sunrise
idea. With keywords of Spicy, Manly, and Strong however, an overhaul was needed. Naturally,
spiced Rum replaces the Tequila content, with sparkling wine or cider replacing some of the OJ to
keep the ABV strong. Likewise, both as a nod to the original recipe and another effort to keep high
ABV, Crème de Cassis (or Chambord) is used in addition to the grenadine, which keeps it dense and
therefore it sinks better. Tabasco adds the spice component to this bottom half of the drink, while
cinnamon (/sugar) garnish aids the spiced rum at the top. The end result should look like an inverted
version of its official depiction, but oh well – It’s close enough for a drink named after Mars!

“Mercuryblast”
"No thermometer was harmed in the creation of this drink."
Keywords: Sour, Burning, Classy. On the rocks and Blended.
Glass: Collins, failing that, Highball
Ingredients:
40mL Blue Curacao
40mL Gin (something citrusy like Bombay Sapphire is ideal. Sapphire also fits the colour motif!)
2 tablespoon (or to taste) Blue Raspberry / Blueberry Jelly (Jell-o) powder or drink concentrate. Blue
cordials also work okay.
1-2 teaspoon of Citric Acid powder or 40mL Lime Juice or 40mL Lemon/Lime Sorbet (or to taste)
20mL Simple Syrup (or to taste)
120mL Lemonade
Ice
Method: Add 1 tablespoon powder mix into glass, and slowly pour some chilled lemonade into glass
and stir until fizzing subsides, then add the rest of the lemonade and stir again until powder has
dissolved. Then combine both spirits, Citric acid/Lime/Sorbet, and the blue powder in a blender with
about double that volume of ice. Pulse until a thick slush consistency is achieved, adding more ice if
required. Use a spoon to layer the slush on top of the lemonade. Include a straw (or a
thermometer!) for consumer to mix with.
Discussion: Although this is not a ‘bubbly’ drink, the picture clearly depicts bubbles. But the drink is
also blended and ‘on the rocks’ … Well I decided to again go for a slightly different interpretation. By
piling alcohol into the ice-cold slush, you get not only the alcohol burn as required, but also the
stinging cold of ice slush (which is … A type of burning I guess?). The use of Blue curacao and
generous amounts of citric acid, sorbet, or lime juice keeps the drink as sour as it’s supposed to be,
along with some token sourness from the lemonade (which also gives sufficient volume to avoid
being overall too strong). Balanced against this, is the sugar content from jelly/drink powder,
optional simple syrup, and the curacao. Gin adds some complexity and alcohol content to the drink,
as well as (with the right choice of gin) allowing the citrus-sour motif to continue full blast! (Pun
definitely intended).

“Moonblast”

"No relation to the Hadron cannon you can see on the moon for one week every month."
Keywords: Sweet, Girly, Happy. On the rocks and Blended.
Glass: Highball, failing that, Collins.
Ingredients:
Watermelon, enough to fill half your glass. (If you can, cube & freeze your watermelon on a tray
beforehand so you can omit the ice and avoid diluting the drink)
60mL White Rum, Blanco Tequila, or Gin (if you go with gin, go with a softer gin rather than
something citrus-y, like Hendricks or even Aviation)
(Recommended, but optional) 30mL Cointreau
30mL Lemonade, or sweet sparkling wine (to top it off with)
15mL Fresh Lime Juice
20mL Simple syrup (or to taste, depending on sweetness of watermelon)
Mint leaves (to taste)
Ice
Method: Combine Watermelon, Lemon Juice, & Spirit(s) into blender with about half that volume of
Ice. Pulse until slushie consistency is achieved, then transfer to glass. Top glass with lemonade (stir
gently), and add Mint leaves to taste. Some fairy floss would make an excellent garnish on top.
Include a straw for the consumer to stir with.
Discussion: Rounding out the ‘Blast cocktails, we have the Moonblast! Whenever I think of ‘happy’
drinks, I think of fruity coolers sipped on a hot day. With a blended drink on the rocks, the Moonblast
is the perfect drink for that. Sweet watermelon combines with gentler-flavoured spirits, along with
the optional added complexity & sweetness of a triple sec. Lime Juice & Simple syrup provide ‘levers’
for you to balance the sweetness of the cocktail depending on how your watermelon tastes and your
preferences.

“Piano Man”

"This drink does not represent the opinions of the Bar Pianists Union or its associates."
Keywords: Sour, Promo, Strong. On the rocks.
Glass: Hurricane
Ingredients:
60mL Sour Apple Schnapps (the uncoloured kind if possible)
60mL Blue Curacao (This is mostly for the colour & the alcohol content. You can keep the Vodka in
and swap this for something else blue like Alize, or something non-alcoholic like a blue sports drink)
30mL Triple Sec
(Optional) 30mL Vodka
20mL Lemon or Lime juice
20mL Simple Syrup (Optional, you can also use blue drink concentrate / jelly powder for some
sweetness and more colour)
200mL Lemonade
Ice
Method: Combine all ingredients except lemonade with ice in shaker, shake vigorously. Transfer to
glass. Top with lemonade, stir gently. Garnish with lime peel.
Discussion: This was one of the hardest cocktails to create, and I’m still not quite happy with it. With
the abundance of blue coloured cocktails to create, and the Piano man being one of the last blue
ones I tackled, creating something unique from everything else is a real challenge. Still, following the
guidance of the keywords, the drink is definitely strong, being half liquor, and ramping up
lemon/lime juice (as well as the sour apple schnapps) relative to everything else lets you tailor just
how sour you like it.
“Piano Woman”

"It was originally called Pretty Woman, but too many people complained there should be a Piano Woman
if there was a Piano Man."
Keywords: Sweet, Happy, Promo. Aged.
Glass: Large wine glass.
Ingredients:
40mL Vodka
40mL Blue Alize / Hynotiq
60mL Grapefruit juice
60mL Pineapple juice
40mL Malibu Coconut Rum
30mL Honey (or Maple syrup) (or to taste)
Heaped Tablespoon Blue drink concentrate/Cordial or Jelly powder (to taste, for colour & added
sweetness)
Method: Add all ingredients to shaker while still warm. Shake vigorously until honey is dissolved,
using a hot water bath to the exterior of the shaker while gently swirling if required. Then, add ice
and shake vigorously for extended period. Strain into glass. Garnish rim with citrus slice.
Discussion: Another difficult one, for much the same reasons as the ‘Piano Man’. Taking inspiration
from the flavour text, I tried looking up the ‘pretty woman’ cocktail, but found mostly conflicting
ideas. One example however, included honey as an ingredient. Given that’s one of the nicknames of
the protagonist that crafts these, I couldn’t not include it. Staying away from the Blue Curacao found
in most blue cocktails, this cocktail strives for a Hawaiian punch feel with a sweeter twist. Tropical
juices are tamed by honey & coconut rum, and diluted by the vodka & extended shaking with ice to
create a drink that’s sweet and happy without being overpowering.

“Piledriver”

"It doesn't burn as hard on the tongue but you better not have a sore throat when drinking it..."
Keywords: Bitter, Burning, Manly
Glass: Tumbler or Old Fashioned.
Ingredients:
45mL Vodka
45mL Dark Rum
30mL Cola
30mL Orange Juice
Dash Angostura Bitters
Method: Combine all ingredients in shaker, add ice, shake. Strain into glass. Garnish with nothing for
authenticity, or add Orange peel for presentation.
Discussion: Apparently this is a real drink already. Looking at the ingredients, it seems to suit both
the depiction of the drink and its keywords, so hey – Why fix what ain’t broke? The only modification
I’ve thrown in is adjusting the ratios, and adding a dash of bitters, since this drink … Well it’s meant
to be bitter!

“Sparkle Star”

"They used to actually sparkle, but too many complaints about skin problem [sic] made them redesign
the drink without sparkling."
Keywords: Sweet, Girly, Happy. Aged. Alcohol optional.
Glass: Hurricane or Ice cream Sundae glass.
Ingredients:
80mL Vanilla Ice cream
40mL Gold flake vodka (Goldschlager or another cinnamon flavoured spirit would be perfect.
Otherwise, a bit of cinnamon sugar and edible gold flakes work, or edible glitter applied at the end
works too)
80mL Chocolate Ice cream
40mL Dark Rum (the more Aged, the better… But don’t use anything expensive.)
(Optional) 40mL Raisins
80mL Strawberry Ice cream
40mL Baileys
Grenadine
Method: Combine Strawberry Ice cream, Baileys, and 20mL Grenadine in blender. Pulse as short as
possible to combine ingredients, until a thick slush-like consistency is achieved, adding ice if result is
too runny. Transfer to glass. Repeat for Chocolate IC, Raisins, Dark rum, and about 10mL of
Grenadine, using the back of a spoon to prevent mixing with bottom layer. Repeat again for Vanilla
IC with Goldschlager /Cinnamon Sugar+Vodka & Gold flakes. If edible glitter is used instead, apply to
top at the end as garnish. A spoon or rigid straw may be included.
Discussion: Another Blended and on the rocks cocktail! Given the keywords and the picture, a 3-layer
desert cocktail is of course an inevitability! Given the ubiquitous nature of Neapolitan Ice cream with
Vanilla, Chocolate, and Strawberry flavours, this one should only require the purchase of one tub
and one speciality spirit/garnish … But the result should be worth it. Starting with a sweet vanilla and
cinnamon sparkle-fest, to a traditional Rum & Raison chocolate layer, and finally a bright crimson
strawberry & (Irish) Cream layer, with a bit of grenadine for additional fruity flavour and for colour.
There’s tonnes of leeway for making your own additions and alterations here: A particularly well
stocked bar could use dry ice for the ultimate thick consistency, or adding strawberries to the
bottom layer etc! I strongly recommend pre-chilling your other ingredients in the freezer alongside
the ice cream before making this cocktail. Alcohol tends to lower freezing points, so even if they are
both at freezer temperature, you’ll end up losing quite a bit of the ice cream’s thickness even
without warming it up with the other ingredients – So you may need to adjust your ratios or add ice
depending on how cold your freezer can get your ingredients! Finally – This is another alcohol-
optional drink. By simply substituting the actual rum for some rum flavouring (from your nearest
baking goods section), omitting the vodka but still throwing in some cinnamon sugar, gold flakes,
and/or edible glitter, and maybe replacing the Irish Cream with some caramel syrup, you can have
one impressive dessert for the kids and designated drivers amongst us 

“Sugar Rush”

"Sweet, light and fruity. As girly as it gets."

Keywords: Sweet, Girly, Happy. Alcohol optional.
Glass: Collins or Double Shooter
Ingredients: (For shooter version)
1 pc Pink Bubblegum (Original or Strawberry flavours, as per preference) per two drinks
40mL White rum or Vodka (Raspberry or Cake flavoured vodka if at all possible)
40mL Pink Lemonade (or, if you can’t get pink lemonade, regular lemonade with a splash Grenadine
or Cranberry juice works too)
Method: Place as much rum/vodka as you want to infuse in an empty bottle, and add 1pc of
bubblegum (cut in half) for every 80mL worth you’ve added (or every 100mL if using a flavoured
spirit). Leave at room temperature to infuse overnight. Use a clean cloth or folded paper towel
(shaking or swirling gently if any gum debris blocks the neck of the bottle) to strain into a clean
bottle and place into the freezer. Pour 40mL of this into a double shot glass (shaking 30mL with ice if
not yet cold) and top with pink lemonade, stir with a toothpick or the handle of a spoon. For the tall
drink, pour 100mL of spirits into a shaker with 300mL of (Pink) Lemonade. If you wish, add a small
amount of cranberry juice and/or grenadine and gently stir with ice until chilled. Strain into glass and
garnish with maraschino cherry, or pink fairy floss.
Discussion: The word ‘Barbie doll’ really comes to mind when designing something as unrelentingly
pink and sweet as this! While this drink is supposed to be one of the simplest to make, it also has
one of the longest prep times, requiring infusion and straining of the liquors. Thankfully, it’s also one
of the easiest to actually serve next day once the ingredients are prepped, so I count that box as
ticked :P I wanted to create at least one shooter in this collection, and given the test-tube shaped
sprite art, I figured the ‘Sugar Rush’ would be a perfect candidate for a drink that can be had as both
a shooter and mixed tall. Pink bubblegum and pink lemonade are about as ‘girly’ as it gets, so these
are the two key ingredients for this drink! Cranberry & Lemonade makes a decent substitute, with
inspiration from the Cosmopolitan for that one. This is also an optionally non-alcoholic drink, so the
signature flavours have to carry through even without the alcoholic ingredients. For the non-
Alcoholic version, infuse the bubblegum with either some water, adding sugar later to make a
bubblegum-flavoured simple syrup (useful for other drinks perhaps!) or directly with the lemonade
with that splash of cranberry for an even simpler drink to serve.
“Sunshine Cloud”

"Tastes like old chocolate milk with its good smell intact. Some say it tastes like caramel too..."
Keywords: Bitter, Girly, Soft. On the rocks & Blended. Alcohol optional.
Glass: Large Snifter/Balloon (failing that, stemless wine glass or other round-shaped glass)
Ingredients:
40mL Brandy or Cognac
40mL Butterscotch Schnapps
40mL Crème de cacao
Heaped tablespoon unsweetened coco powder (or to taste. Some melted dark chocolate also works
wonders here.)
20-40mL Caramel sauce/syrup (Ice cream topping stuff is fine)
100mL Milk (Chocolate milk works too)
Method: Combine milk, caramel, and coco powder in shaker and shake vigorously until all
ingredients have combined (warming it with a hot water bath if required). Then add all other
ingredients and shake aggressively with ice (smaller cubes are better). Transfer to glass.
Alternatively, for a thicker version, substitute milk for Ice cream (vanilla or chocolate) and add all
ingredients into blender with approx. 80mL of ice. Pulse in blender until thickshake-like consistency
is achieved. Garnish with … A leaf, apparently, so use a large mint leaf - And serve with straw rigid
enough to stir. Optionally garnish rim with coco powder for even more bitterness.
Discussion: In this optionally alcoholic bitter beverage, the star is chocolate. With inspiration from
the Brandy Alexander, we take it a notch (or two!) higher with the bitterness, adding coco powder
(or dark chocolate) for extra bitterness, adding caramel & butterscotch for complementary extra
depth of flavour, and mixing it down with some milk or ice cream in place of fresh cream. If you
really like your bitterness, try swapping the butterscotch with coffee liquor! Or, if you’d rather tone
the bitterness down, a sprinkle of cinnamon sugar mixed in will help offset the unsweetened coco
powder. For the non-alcoholic version, substitute brandy/cognac for some brandy (or rum)
flavouring from your local baking goods vendor, real butterscotch or butterscotch sauce for the
schnapps, and some extra coco powder & simple syrup for the crème de cacao.

“Suplex”

"A small twist on the Piledriver, putting more emphasis on the tongue burning and less on the throat
burning."
Keywords: Bitter, Burning, Manly. On the rocks.
Glass: Tumbler or Old Fashioned.
Ingredients:
45mL White Rum
45mL Spiced or Dark Rum
30mL Ginger Ale or Cola
30mL Pineapple Juice (Or, if you can find it: Blood Orange juice)
Dash Angostura Bitters
30g/mL Chunked bitter orange (Or, failing that, Pineapple segments)
Ice
Method: Combine all ingredients excluding fruit into shaker with ice. Shake vigorously. Strain into
glass. Add fruit, muddle very gently. Add fresh ice and stir briefly.
Discussion: Just as the flavour text suggests, this is an alteration of the Piledriver. Taking a stab at
making this a tongue burner rather than a throat burner, we start by swapping rum in for the vodka
to help smooth our spirits out. Next, we default to spiced rum over dark rum and more bitter ginger
ale over cola to hopefully give more up-front punch to the flavour. Swapping pineapple in for the OJ
also ups the tongue burning factor, while taking advantage of the floating object seen in the sprite
art allows us to throw in some blood orange chunks (or better yet, if blood orange juice is available,
use that instead and throw in pineapple chunks) to up bitterness at the same time. Finally, using ice
in the drink itself is a surefire way to reduce throat burn while potentially letting our up-rated
ingredients work their magic.

“Zen Star”

"You'd think something so balanced would actually taste nice... you'd be dead wrong."
Keywords: Sour, Bland, Promo. On the rocks.
Glass: Fishbowl, or Large Snifter/Balloon, stemless wine glass or other round-shaped glass
Ingredients:
40mL Blue Curacao
40mL White Rum or Vodka
40mL Coconut Rum
40mL Sweet & Sour mix
40mL Mango Juice
40mL Lemonade
Dash Angostura Bitters
1 quarter (Or to taste) Fresh squeezed Lime juice
(Optional) Blue drink concentrate or Jelly powder mix
Ice
Method: Combine all ingredients except for lemonade in shaker with ice. Shake vigorously and
transfer into glass. Top with lemonade and stir gently. Garnish with large mint leaf, and include a
straw.
Discussion: Ahh, the Zen star. Canonically including equal amounts of every ingredient! Inspired by
the Fishbowl Punch & Blue Hawaii cocktails, and modified for our interesting challenge of making a
Sour yet Bland drink ... That’s balanced. No sweat, right! Starting with the sourness, we have the
citrus might of Blue Curacao, Lime juice, the sour component of the Sweet & Sour mix, and
Lemonade. Blandness is served by choosing tame spirit choices (Vodka/White Rum & Coconut Rum)
and a healthy amount of ice. Sweetness is served up by the Sweetness of the S&S mix, and our
mango juice. Finally – Bitters rounds off our flavour balancing act. You can always substitute blue
sports drink for the mango juice for a similar level of sweetness but better colour co-ordination, and
you can help bring up sweetness if required by using blue jelly or drink concentrate powder mix until
you’ve achieved a truly Zen balance.