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Inasmuch (said the Oldest Member) as you have not forgotten the
events leading up to the marriage of William Bates and Jane
Packard, I will not repeat them. All I need say is that that curious
spasm of romantic sentiment which had caused Jane to fall
temporarily under the spell of a man who was not only a poet but
actually a non-golfer, appeared to have passed completely away,
leaving no trace behind. From the day she broke off her engagement
to Spelvin and plighted her troth to young Bates, nothing could have
been more eminently sane and satisfactory than her behaviour.
She seemed entirely her old self once more. Two hours after
William had led her down the aisle, she and he were out on the links,
playing off the final of the Mixed Foursomes which—and we all
thought it the best of omens for their married happiness—they won
hands down. A deputation of all that was best and fairest in the
village then escorted them to the station to see them off on their
honeymoon, which was to be spent in a series of visits to well-known
courses throughout the country.
Before the train left, I took young William aside for a moment. I
had known both him and Jane since childhood, and the success of
their union was very near my heart.
“William,” I said, “a word with you.”
“Make it snappy,” said William.
“You have learned by this time,” I said, “that there is a strong
romantic streak in Jane. It may not appear on the surface, but it is
there. And this romantic streak will cause her, like so many wives, to
attach an exaggerated importance to what may seem to you trivial
things. She will expect from her husband not only love and a
constant tender solicitude—”
“Speed it up,” urged William.
“What I am trying to say is that, after the habit of wives, she will
expect you to remember each year the anniversary of your wedding
day, and will be madder than a wet hen if you forget it.”
“That’s all right. I thought of that myself.”
“It is not all right,” I insisted. “Unless you take the most earnest
precautions, you are absolutely certain to forget. A year from now
you will come down to breakfast and Jane will say to you, ‘Do you
know what day it is to-day?’ and you will answer ‘Tuesday’ and reach
for the ham and eggs, thus inflicting on her gentle heart a wound
from which it will not readily recover.”
“Nothing like it,” said William, with extraordinary confidence. “I’ve
got a system calculated to beat the game every time. You know how
fond Jane is of white violets?”
“Is she?”
“She loves ’em. The bloke Spelvin used to give her a bunch every
day. That’s how I got the idea. Nothing like learning the shots from
your opponent. I’ve arranged with a florist that a bunch of white
violets is to be shipped to Jane every year on this day. I paid five
years in advance. I am therefore, speaking in the most conservative
spirit, on velvet. Even if I forget the day, the violets will be there to
remind me. I’ve looked at it from every angle, and I don’t see how it
can fail. Tell me frankly, is the scheme a wam or is it not?”
“A most excellent plan,” I said, relieved. And the next moment the
train came in. I left the station with my mind at rest. It seemed to me
that the only possible obstacle to the complete felicity of the young
couple had been removed.
Jane’s mind was in a whirl as she went home in the train. To have
met Rodney Spelvin again was enough in itself to stimulate into
activity that hidden pulse of romance in her. To discover that she had
been in his thoughts so continuously all these years and that she still
held such sway over his faithful heart that he had drawn the heroine
of his novel from her was simply devastating. Mechanically she got
out at the right station and mechanically made her way to the
cottage. She was relieved to find that William was still out on the
links. She loved William devotedly, of course, but just at the moment
he would have been in the way; for she wanted a quiet hour with The
Purple Fan. It was necessary for her to re-read in the light of this
new knowledge the more important of the scenes in which Eulalie
French figured. She knew them practically by heart already, but
nevertheless she wished to read them again. When William returned,
warm and jubilant, she was so absorbed that she only just had time
to slide the book under the sofa-cushion before the door opened.
Some guardian angel ought to have warned William Bates that he
was selecting a bad moment for his re-entry into the home, or at
least to have hinted that a preliminary wash and brush-up would be
no bad thing. There had been rain in the night, causing the links to
become a trifle soggy in spots, and William was one of those
energetic golfers who do not spare themselves. The result was that
his pleasant features were a good deal obscured by mud. An
explosion-shot out of the bunker on the fourteenth had filled his hair
with damp sand, and his shoes were a disgrace to any refined home.
No, take him for all in all, William did not look his best. He was fine if
the sort of man you admired was the brawny athlete straight from the
dust of the arena; but on a woman who was picturing herself the
heroine of The Purple Fan he was bound to jar. Most of the scenes
in which Eulalie French played anything like a fat part took place
either on moonlight terraces or in beautifully furnished studios
beneath the light of Oriental lamps with pink silk shades, and all the
men who came in contact with her—except her husband, a
clodhopping brute who spent most of his time in riding-kit—were
perfectly dressed and had dark, clean-cut, sensitive faces.
William, accordingly, induced in Jane something closely
approximating to the heeby-jeebies.
“Hullo, old girl!” said William, affectionately. “You back? What have
you been doing with yourself?”
“Oh, shopping,” said Jane, listlessly.
“See any one you knew?”
For a moment Jane hesitated.
“Yes,” she said. “I met Rodney Spelvin.”
Jealousy and suspicion had been left entirely out of William
Bates’s make-up. He did not start and frown; he did not clutch the
arm of his chair; he merely threw back his head and laughed like a
hyæna. And that laugh wounded Jane more than the most violent
exhibition of mistrust could have done.
“Good Lord!” gurgled William, jovially. “You don’t mean to say that
bird is still going around loose? I should have thought he would have
been lynched years ago. Looks like negligence somewhere.”
There comes a moment in married life when every wife gazes
squarely at her husband and the scales seem to fall from her eyes
and she sees him as he is—one of Nature’s Class A fatheads.
Fortunately for married men, these times of clear vision do not last
long, or there would be few homes left unbroken. It was so that Jane
gazed at William now, but unhappily her conviction that he was an
out-size in rough-neck chumps did not pass. Indeed, all through that
evening it deepened. That night she went to bed feeling for the first
time that, when the clergyman had said, “Wilt thou, Jane?” and she
had replied in the affirmative, a mean trick had been played on an
inexperienced girl.
And so began that black period in the married life of Jane and
William Bates, the mere recollection of which in after years was
sufficient to put them right off their short game and even to affect
their driving from the tee. To William, having no clue to the cause of
the mysterious change in his wife, her behaviour was inexplicable.
Had not her perfect robustness made such a theory absurd, he
would have supposed that she was sickening for something. She
golfed now intermittently, and often with positive reluctance. She was
frequently listless and distrait. And there were other things about her
of which he disapproved.
“I say, old girl,” he said one evening, “I know you won’t mind my
mentioning it, and I don’t suppose you’re aware of it yourself, but
recently you’ve developed a sort of silvery laugh. A nasty thing to
have about the home. Try to switch it off, old bird, would you mind?”
Jane said nothing. The man was not worth answering. All through
the pages of The Purple Fan, Eulalie French’s silvery laugh had
been highly spoken of and greatly appreciated by one and all. It was
the thing about her that the dark, clean-cut, sensitive-faced men
most admired. And the view Jane took of the matter was that if
William did not like it the poor fish could do the other thing.
But this brutal attack decided her to come out into the open with
the grievance which had been vexing her soul for weeks past.
“William,” she said, “I want to say something. William, I am feeling
stifled.”
“I’ll open the window.”
“Stifled in this beastly little village, I mean,” said Jane, impatiently.
“Nobody ever does anything here except play golf and bridge, and
you never meet an artist-soul from one year’s end to the other. How
can I express myself? How can I be myself? How can I fulfil myself?”
“Do you want to?” asked William, somewhat out of his depth.
“Of course I want to. And I shan’t be happy unless we leave this
ghastly place and go to live in a studio in town.”
William sucked thoughtfully at his pipe. It was a tense moment for
a man who hated metropolitan life as much as he did. Nevertheless,
if the solution of Jane’s recent weirdness was simply that she had
got tired of the country and wanted to live in town, to the town they
must go. After a first involuntary recoil, he nerved himself to the
martyrdom like the fine fellow he was.
“We’ll pop off as soon as I can sell the house,” he said.
“I can’t wait as long as that. I want to go now.”
“All right,” said William, amiably. “We’ll go next week.”