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Chapter One

Introduction

A person's lifespan is filled with various social ties. One key aspect is a romantic

relationship with their partner. It provides companionship, joy, and the sense of being

loved. Additionally, intimacy, self-improvement, self-understanding, and high self-

esteem can result from a romantic relationship. As a result, romantic relationships can

have an impact on a person's overall mental and physical health.

A romantic relationship or love can be characterized contrastingly by every

individual. Despite these divergent points of view, there are certain behaviours of a

partner that are considered ‘unhealthy’. Therefore, despite the positive aspects of love

and relationships, one common problem seen is ‘toxicity’.

An unhealthy relationship or concept of love can also be defined as situations in

which one partner wants to control the life decisions of another, demands complete

attention, expects the partner to prioritize them above all else, has no room for consent,

has an excessive tolerance for abuse, lies, blackmails, stalks, and feels pressured to act

in a certain way.

These traits are often apparent and identifiable in certain relationships but can

also be subtle and passive in others. Identifying harmful behaviors in relationships can

be challenging, and partners may refuse to work on them. Despite this, some people

may choose to stay for various reasons.

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Irrespective of the different ways of expressing toxicity in romantic relationships,

research studies have demonstrated the detrimental effects that toxic and abusive

relationships may have on an individual's health.

With such negative repercussions of toxicity in romantic relationships, various

movies across languages have been noticed to promote such toxicity by romanticizing

such behaviour . Various articles have been written to point out different movies that

have glorified toxic behaviours in love as romance.

It has symbolized violence and abuse as symbols of romantic relations between

the lead characters. Some Indian movies that romanticized toxic behaviours include

Vandanam (1989), Thenkasipattanam (2000), C.I.D. Moosa (2003),

Annayum Rasoolum (2013), Premam (2015), Njangal Santhushtaranu (1999), Kochu

Kochu Santhoshangal (2000), Happy Husbands (2010), Husbands in Goa (2012), Remo

(2016), Minnale (2001), Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi (2008), Vellimoonga (2014), Hey

Sinamika (2022), Haseen Dillruba (2021), Love Today (2022), Fidaa (2017), Kaatru

Veliyidai (2017), Arjun Reddy (2017), etc.

Stalking is so normalized in films that our younger generation of men is taking it

as a major activity, and when a woman says no to their proposal, they do not take it as

a ‘no’; they take it as a yes. So they stalk the girl continuously and make her fall in love

with them. In Vandanam (1989), Unnikrishnan is continuously stalking Gatha, even

when she clearly shows that she is not interested in him but gradually falls in love with

him. In Thenkasipattanam (2000), Sathrugnan continuously stalks Devootty for five

years, even after being rejected several times. At the end, she also likes him back. In

C.I.D. Moosa (2003), Sahadevan stalks Meena after he falls in love with her at first

sight, which leads her to lose her job. But again, at last, the heroine falls in love with
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him. Stalking is also glorified in Annayum Rasoolum (2013) and Premam (2015) as

well. By romanticizing such scenes, it sends the wrong message to the young,

impressionable audience that such acts will make women fall in love with them.

One of the most taught lessons to women in Malayalam movies is how to become

an ideal wife. In Njangal Santhushtaranu (1999), the hero Sajeev, a police officer, tries

to make his wife Geethu, a modern girl and daughter of his superior officer, an ideal

wife by harassing her, but she fights back. So to make her perfect, they mentally harass

her by disclosing her identity as an adopted daughter, and at the end, she becomes an

ideal wife who wears a sari and learns Malayalam. Meanwhile, in the movie Kochu

Kochu Santhoshangal (2000), Gopan leaves his wife Asha, taking their child with him,

because she became a famous dancer and wanted to continue in her profession. He

never tried to meet her again; moving to the end of the movie, he met her, and she had

already given up her dream of being a dancer the day he left. The film ends when she

happily dances for her son and husband. Women should give up their profession and

passion for their families; that is what these films teach us.

In many Malayalam movies, it is shown that an ideal woman should not leave or

give divorce, even if the husband is wrong. In Happy Husbands (2010), the three

women forgive their husbands even when they find out that their husbands were

cheating on them. Instead of questioning their husbands, they confront Diana, the bar

dancer with whom the husbands had a relationship. When Diana makes them

understand how much the husbands love their wives, they forgive them, ignoring the

fact that they tried to cheat them, and like the title implies, the husbands are still happy

because even when they cheated, their wives forgive them. A similar pattern can be seen

in the film Husbands in Goa (2012).

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In Remo (2016), the situation is somewhat similar to impersonating; creating a

new identity as an excuse to stalk a girl you love just shows how crooked someone’s

mind works. It is worse in this film because she is already engaged, and Remo’s idea

itself is to break her engagement and make her love him. If this form of love is

romanticized, then it just gives more men the opportunity to use these crooked ways

and justify them in the name of love. Kavya should have rejected Remo straightaway.

Because this cannot be considered love in any way. There are similar movies, such as

Minnale (2001) and Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi (2008), in which the male lead impersonates

to make the female lead fall for him. Vellimoonga (2014) is such a movie in which the

male lead Maamachan proceeds to get one of his friends to pretend to be a prospective

groom for Lina, the girl whom he loved, to marry her with her father’s consent. After

marriage, when he reveals the truth to his wife, she slaps him and then, within a minute,

smiles and forgives him. He literally played with her life and fooled her and her family,

and such a big con is forgiven so easily.

Across the world, married couples have differences, sometimes irreconcilable.

However, the solution is mutual consent, separation, or divorce, surely not setting up

your husband with a psychologist in an attempt to woo him away from you. The movie

Hey Sinamika (2022) crossed lines of boundaries, trust, love, and everything else that

is fundamental for a relationship. Some movies like this have the female lead being

toxic, like Haseen Dillruba (2021), which revolves around a highly toxic storyline

about a put-together married couple, Rani and Rishu, who end up murdering Neel, with

whom Rani went intimate, to live together. While in Love Today (2022), the story

revolves around two people in love, Pradeep and Nikhitha, who hide their bad deeds

from each other. There’s an instance when the male lead says, “I’m indeed a bad guy,

but not very bad” (1:39:34). But the movie ends up saying that the heroine should be
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pure. There’s a problematic scene in the movie Fidaa (2017), where Bhanumathi pranks

Varun into waking up at 3 a.m. and taking pictures of him bathing and wearing

traditional attire. She also blackmails him with those pictures, but that scene is so highly

romanticized that Varun gets blushed up rather than embarrassed.

Anyone who has watched Kaatru Veliyidai (2017) knows that it portrays all the

red flags in a relationship. Varun’s anger issues and sexist comments are problematic.

But Leela deciding to give Varun a chance repeatedly, even after he mistreats her, is

even more problematic. After the movie was released, it gave a lot of men a chance to

normalize dominance and control by imitating Varun’s character. This movie should

have never been romanticized and surely should not have made the final cut. Similarly,

the movie Arjun Reddy (2017), in which the title character is an alcoholic but super-

efficient surgeon who just can’t manage his temper, is also a prime example of a movie

that normalizes toxicity. He bullies his way through college and takes a fancy to a shy

girl, Preeti Shetty, who gradually accepts his aggressive, threatening ways. He dictates

who she should talk to and does not hesitate to slap her. Arjun goes on a self-destructive

path after she is forced by her family to marry another man. And at the end, they both

end up together.

Like the above-mentioned examples, a lot of movies are noticed to set negative

understandings and expectations about love by promoting sexism, misogyny, physical

abuse, and stalking as a ‘romantic’ way of expressing one's interest in their partner. This

project aims to analyze four such movies, namely, Vandanam (1989), Love Today

(2022), Arjun Reddy (2017), and Haseen Dillruba (2021), to explain how these movies

influence the audience by normalizing toxicity. Quoting some instances and dialogues

from the above-mentioned movies helps in conveying the idea of this project.
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Chapter Two

Glorification of Toxicity in Romantic Relationships

Vandanam—classic or toxic?

Vandanam is a hugely popular Malayalam movie in which the narrative takes

numerous really negative turns. Yes, it was a 1980s movie, but since this is often

telecasted and even recommended as a must-watch, it is crucial to examine the toxicity

that it portrays. The entire story revolves around Unnikrishnan (Mohanlal), who acts as

an undercover police officer in order to capture a criminal who has escaped from the

prison. To find out his whereabouts, Unnikrishnan keeps a watch on the convict’s

daughter, who we all recognize by the name Gaadha (Girija Shettar).

Even though the plot is serious in nature, the movie is famous for its many

comedy scenes. Even the scene where Unnikrishnan ‘accidentally’ witnesses Gaadha

changing her clothes is captured in a comical manner (47:17). Maybe the comical angle

is the reason why people do not think that this scene is toxic. Accidentally being in a

girl’s room is acceptable, but if she changes clothes and you decide to keep your eyes

wide open and watch, it is not funny but creepy. Soon after this scene, he claims to have

fallen in love with her, and despite her lack of affection towards him, he proceeds to

literally stalk her and even blackmail her into saying “I love you” to him (1:33:33).

There is a song “Kavilinayil Kunkumamo” in this movie, where Unnikrishnan

stalks Gaadha and even harasses her by slapping her buttocks (1:07:51). He slapped her

buttocks twice in the song, which ends with Maggie Aunty (Sukumari) slapping his.
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For a long time, it was considered endearing and romantic for a hero (and they

always make sure he has the most gorgeous face ever) to pursue a heroine; in fact, the

story wouldn’t be complete without the obligatory stalking. It was as much a given as

the pre-consummation foreplay.

Therefore, even if Mohanlal’s character, Unnikrishnan, displays toxic traits,

people still think he is simply being romantic. This is one of those classic Malayalam

movies that romanticized toxicity effortlessly.

Love Today—a nasty love tale?

Love Today primarily tells the narrative of Uthaman Pradeep (Pradeep

Ranganathan) and Nikitha (Ivana) and their lives following their phone exchange.

‘Trust the people around you’ was the movie’s main lesson, illustrated by the

younger Pradeep planting a seed and periodically checking to see if it sprouted.

However, the seed becomes a tree when he gives it time to settle and has faith in the

process.

The movie focuses on Gen Z and how youngsters don’t trust their lovers. And the

essentiality of basically believing in each other. Pradeep concludes the movie by saying,

“We just need to have some faith” (2:30:04). The filmmakers are attempting to portray

this message, but it is unconvincing.

The younger generation seems to have the courage to end a relationship when we

see signs of toxicity, despite the fact that we can be impatient at times. There could be

a variety of explanations for people who claim that marriages used to last fifty years or

longer. There is pressure in our society to maintain marriage, despite its hardships.
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But now, after a lot of awareness and talk about putting ourselves first, things are

gradually improving. Youth today tolerate a lot less nonsense, which is a good thing.

Rather than relying on their ‘god-like’ husbands for the rest of their lives, women are

now far more independent and free to leave whenever they wish.

Being honest and upfront with one another is an excellent way to build a

relationship. It’s true that one can never share everything with a partner, but no one

would be able to blindly believe their lover after they lie to go for a long drive with an

ex or hide the fact that they text women posing to be a film director asking for tribal

pictures.

But the movie justifies lying, cheating, stalking, and perverting behaviour and

asks the viewers to trust each other in a relationship. It is not limited to that but also

promotes toxic masculinity.

The movie placed a lot of emphasis on the idea that ‘men will be men,’ regardless

of how they sexualize women without her consent or engage in vulgar chats. It even

gave thought to the toxic line from the movie Kavan (2017), where Vijay Sethupathy’s

character Thilak states, “Scorpions sting, serpents bite, and men will be men. It’s a

biological urge” (13:20).

In this way, movies have started justifying men behaving poorly. Why? Because

‘men will be men’. As he says, “I’m indeed a bad guy, but not very bad” (1:39:34). The

audience gets carried away for a moment and believes Pradeep did nothing wrong.

Nikitha secretly stayed in contact with her ex, went on a long drive with him, and

hid the fact that her boy bestie proposed to her. And without Nikitha’s knowledge, our

innocent hero, Pradeep, claims to be single, tries to contact his ex, flirts with customer

service employees, asks random women for their ‘sexy’ pictures by tricking them,
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claims to have deleted all of Nikitha’s private images but keeps them, follows his ex on

a fake Instagram account, and supports disgusting activities by his friends that are

illegal (cyberbullying, scamming, to name a few).

Another perplexing incident is when Pradeep watches porn before he meets

Nikitha. When she confronted him, he defended himself by stating that he watched it to

not misbehave with her (1:37:15). How kind and thoughtful! He did her a great favor,

didn’t he?

This is not to justify infidelity both ways; however, it is annoying how they

present Pradeep as cool and casually getting away with it. Both she and he had hidden

things. Which is the same, right? But no, Nikitha ‘sinfully wronged her boyfriend’, and

Pradeep is a saint because ‘boys will be boys’. Not only that, the movie imposes on the

heroine to remain ‘pure’ at all times too.

Pradeep doesn’t have a problem talking vulgarly about other women without their

consent. But he has a problem when he assumes Nikitha has a sexual life. The viewer

gets no idea what he would have done if it were her video. What if she was intimate

with her ex? While everyone is concentrating on Nikitha, Pradeep’s past remains

unseen.

She should have blocked Pradeep for presuming and asking such a disgusting

question. The most alarming thing is Nikitha’s persistent attempts to persuade her that

she hasn’t had a sexual relationship. It glorifies and promotes blatant sexism.

That’s what people were led to believe by the movie and the hype surrounding it.

At first, it seemed convincing that men would behave in this manner and that women

should be trusting men and not questioning them. However, upon re-watching the

movie, one realizes that all the sexism is right there.

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The movie had such an effect that a mature individual cannot imagine its impact

on the target audience—the young, sensitive minds. The cliché and pointless climax

supports victim blaming and brings up more issues too.

Nikitha’s co-worker shares a morphed video of her online. Pradeep trusts her and

asks his friends for help. They eventually track down her coworker and report him to

the police. But in the process, they reveal the actual lady in the video. They didn't care

about her privacy or her life.

Nikitha’s father slaps her when he gets the news. The large number of victim-

blaming scenes in modern movies is shocking. Although her father claims to support

intercaste marriage, he never takes the time to talk to his own daughter like a mature

person when it’s obvious that she was a victim.

Pradeep says, “I am sincerely sorry if I hurt you” (2:25:48), after all the emotional

damage he caused. At the very least, the audience anticipates a genuine apology. More

than that, the surprising thing is that Nikitha ends up with him.

Openness and trust are thought to be the most crucial aspects of a healthy

relationship. But having blind faith in someone is not the same as trust. It does not mean

turning a blind eye when a man or woman cheats.

A person finding out that their significant other is unfaithful to them out of the

blue, despite having placed so much faith in them, is painful, for sure. Let’s not give it

all away to blind faith. Being honest with one another is another essential quality of a

relationship. If they are not, there is definitely something wrong with the relationship.

The movie could have suggested reasonable solutions, like boundaries and couple

counseling.
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This is not to say that the movie is all bad. It is worth noticing the portion where

it discusses problems with body image and how love is more than just physical

appearance. The portions with Dr. Yogi and Divya were sweet. When Yogi stepped

away when Divya received a call, it highlighted boundaries. Even though Yogi is

insecure, he reveals why he doesn’t give phone access to Divya because of body

shaming and bullying. It was adorable, even if they should have discussed it much

before the wedding day.

However, Pradeep’s and Nikhitha’s troublesome portions cannot be accepted.

Arjun Reddy—portrayal of toxic masculinity?

First of all, what’s wrong with Arjun Reddy is that not only Arjun Reddy (Vijay

Devarakonda), but also Preethi Shetty’s (Shalini Pandey) character has been greatly

unjustified. As a conflict to Arjun’s violence, Preethi is a quiet and demure

MBBS student who has accepted her identity as his ‘love interest’.

Arjun kisses her without her consent, makes her skip classes, provides her

individual tutoring sessions, and decides on her friend and roommate for her. And after

she injures her foot, he also decides that she will move in with him (53:59). Preethi

gives herself over to Arjun with each decision he makes. Because, after all, director

Sandeep Reddy Vanga had to win over the viewers by portraying the so-called ideal

woman on screen. Her limited number of dialogues made her appear even more

submissive.

The physical assault part is next. After giving her a slap, Arjun gives her a six-

hour deadline to persuade her parents to approve of their marriage (1:24:12). Although

the audience might think that the scatter-brained girl’s blinds would be lifted, that isn’t
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the case. As a last attempt to get her family to approve of her relationship with Arjun,

the viewer witnesses her angrily explaining her sexual life to them in the next scene

(1:26:59).

Despite getting married to another man, she moved out of that marriage and

waited for him. As he came and confronted her about her pregnancy with her husband,

she replied, "I didn't let my husband touch at least my little finger" (2:55:23). This

shows the patriarchal mindset of a woman towards having only one man.

Indian movies have long featured dysfunctional male leads. But never before has

the female lead character been so foolish or the male lead’s chauvinism been so praised.

One of the main problems with these kinds of movies is that they portray males

as powerful, rational, ambitious, and capable of leadership. Nonetheless, women are

expected to be sensitive, caring, weak, unsure of themselves, submissive, and

indecisive—all characteristics that are associated with being ‘feminine’.

Perhaps what Vanga attempted to do and what the audience found impressive was

a unique love story with a protagonist who wants to break free of the traditional shackles

imposed upon couples. And the guy wins the girl at the end of the film.

The movie’s conclusion is what ties it all together, which raises a serious red flag.

Since then, our Indian audience has developed an addiction to romance movies.

Furthermore, this movie—along with its regional remakes, Kabir Singh (2019), Adithya

Varma (2019), and Varmaa (2020)—provides the ideal justification for patriarchy to

persist in a nation where women are still not regarded as humans.

Anyone watching one of these films must be curious as to why they are made in

spite of the negative reviews and the toxicity they spread. The tendency for violent and
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self-destructive behaviour stemming from serious aggression has been a sought-after

characteristic by viewers over time. The formula for successful movies involves

objectifying women, stalking them, and disregarding a woman’s ‘no’.

Kabir Singh, the first regional remake of Arjun Reddy, became a megahit within

two weeks of its release, almost reaching the Rs. 200 crore milestone. And why? The

protagonist’s depiction of unadulterated, genuine love. In Sandeep Reddy Vanga’s

words, “When you’re deeply in love, deeply connected with a woman, and vice versa,

there’s a lot of honesty in it. And if you don’t have that physical demonstration of… if

you don’t have the liberty of slapping each other, then I don’t see anything there.” (Film

Companion 2:15-2:35)

Both men and women are influenced by the content they watch, whether it’s

Arjun Reddy, Kabir Singh, Adithya Varma, or Varmaa. This leads to the encouragement

of verbal and physical abuse as well as the oppression of women.

Haseen Dillruba—passionate or violent?

Going into Haseen Dillruba, written by Kanika Dhillon and directed by Vinil

Mathew, the expectation was to watch an intriguing thriller with a femme fatale

generic—an expectation raised by the presence of Taapsee Pannu. But it was a

disappointment.

The movie initially presents Rani (Taapsee Pannu) and the unassuming Rishabh

(Vikrant Massey), who is arguably the eventual protagonist, when he’s on his way to

meet a woman for marriage. It is told that Rishabh, aka Rishu, is still hanging over

another woman whom he met once, two years ago.

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Let’s look into this dynamic duo’s first meeting. She is determined to let him

know that she is ‘sundar’ and ‘susheel’, and he is enamored. Prior to the meeting, Rani,

who appears to have witnessed a few failed romances and is getting closer to thirty, is

advised by her aunt to settle for this simple guy and stop looking for a ‘rangeen kitaabi

romance’ because she is manglik and has only received two marriage proposals in the

previous two years. “Let’s see, who wants to go to Jwalapur?” she responds. (5:33)

Their married life officially starts at this point, and Rani is hit hard by the realities

of living in a small town. It doesn’t help that every time she tries to initiate intimacy,

he becomes uncomfortable, saying things like, “How beautiful you are?” (34:20) Both

of them are out of sync. About a week into their marriage, Rishu completely cuts off

communication with Rani after hearing her make fun of him for his shortcomings in

bed with her mother and aunt. What follows are weeks of awkward silence.

The arrival of Rishu's cousin Neel Tripathi rocks the boat of Rishu and Rani's

(non)marriage even more. Finally, Rani, who is reportedly a lover of ‘kitaabi romance’

but lacks the intimacy she craves in her marriage, gets to play the ‘Haseen Dillruba’.

(47:34)

It was a disappointment to see her rebuild herself and transform into the kind of

daughter-in-law Rishu’s mother always expected her to be the moment she received

some validation and attention from Neel. Her innocence shines through when she starts

to dream of a happy life with her new lover, only to find him gone at the end of the day

that she, a vegetarian otherwise, has spent preparing mutton curry in the kitchen.

By this point in the movie, the audience realized that it was not going to be an

uphold of feminist ideals, as we had imagined. Nevertheless, the movie is still

entertaining.
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That was until Rani, in her own words, encounters Rishu’s third avatar—a

‘lover’— after her husband and an engineer. Rani begins to fall in love with Rishu the

minute he follows Neel to avenge revenge for his betrayal and makes two unsuccessful

attempts to assassinate him. Even after her husband wildly threatens to kill her if she

doesn’t, her refusal to leave him is fueled by love, guilt, and stubbornness.

Was that love that worked here? After barely spending any time with him as

newlyweds for months, why was she now experiencing attraction towards him?

It is not strange to think about falling in love and losing oneself in a place where

violence and bare affection coexist. Even in this educated and urban life, it is very much

a part of the surroundings.

But it is extremely detrimental to the feminist cause to romanticize it as the one

form of love to strive for. Especially in a society where the deaths of women from

domestic abuse are not unusual and where women must unlearn for years before

realizing they are more than just meat to please entitled males and that they should have

power over their own bodies.

Even if this may not be the romantic, daring vision of love one yearns for, let’s

hope that our filmmakers will at last recognize the distinction between portraying

violence and glorifying it.

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Chapter Three

Conclusion

Romantic relationships deliver companionship, delight, appreciation,

intimacy, self-improvement, and self-esteem, but they may also result in mental and

physical health problems, despite their potential upsides. Individual perceptions of

romantic relationships differ, yet certain activities are regarded as harmful, resulting

in a common problem of ‘toxicity’ despite the positive attributes of love and

relationships.

An unhealthy relationship entails one person having entire influence over the

other’s life choices, demanding continuous attention, prioritizing them, lacking consent,

having an extreme tolerance for abuse, deception, blackmailing, stalking, and feeling

pushed to act in a certain way. Identifying and correcting certain behaviours in

relationships can be tough, but some people may opt to continue for a variety of reasons,

despite the challenging nature of discovering them.

Despite the adverse results of toxicity in romantic relationships, movies around

different tongues are promoting sexism, misogyny, physical abuse, and stalking as a

romantic way of vocalizing one’s interest in a partner.

Romantic dramas and comedy movies have always been about passionate, sincere

love and happily ever afters. However, the majority of them represent toxic and

disgusting conduct. A few decades ago, stalking was considered to be an acceptable

form of wooing. The clichéd forms of pursuing someone—like stalking, denial,

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consenting, romance, chocolates, and a happy ending—have also been discussed in

movies for ages.

Romantic relationships portrayed by couples in movies indeed spark the image

of an ideal relationship. But sometimes, the unhealthy relationships too were

constructed very well, making the toxic traits often overlooked and romanticized by the

audience.

It is true that the majority of movies are works of fiction. Certain characters in a

movie have toxic relationships that were created specifically for the plot, only to

entertain the audience. Despite this, it’s still necessary to recognize the warning signs

when you see the adorable couple you’ve been waiting around to end up with, even if

it’s just a portrayal of romantic fiction. Besides, who wants to become entangled in a

toxic relationship?

Tragically, teenagers—a young, vulnerable generation who are just starting to

explore relationships—are the target audience for these movies. As a result of these

kinds of movies, a generation that isn’t fully aware of the distinction between a healthy

and unhealthy relationship is produced, which elevates the possibility that they will

become entangled in one too.

For a long time, it was thought endearing and romantic for a hero to pursue a

heroine; in fact, the story wouldn’t be complete unless the mandatory stalking occurred.

It was as obvious as the pre- consummation foreplay in some movies, like Vandanam,

a striking example of romanticizing toxicity, especially stalking.

Being honest and open with one another is a great approach to building a

relationship. True, one can never share everything with a partner, but nobody would

trust their lover if they lied to go on a long drive with an ex or disguised the fact that
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they texted ladies, acting as a movie director asking for tribal images, like in the film

Love Today. The film praises and promotes obvious misogyny, and the film’s formulaic

and useless climax encouraging victim blaming serves as a critical example of

romanticizing toxicity.

Passion and love never mean that a person can be forceful or violent towards their

partner or anyone else for their partner’s sake. Movies like Arjun Reddy and Haseen

Dillruba depict exceedingly toxic and vicious characters.

Male violence against women is frequently justified in our newspapers as ‘crimes

of passion’, with headlines referring to the man as a ‘spurned lover’. This is nothing

more than victim-blaming and softening the horror of the act for the sake of the man.

In Uyare (2019), when Govind (Asif Ali) boards a flight in which Pallavi

(Parvathy Thiruvothu) is working as an air hostess and harasses her to drop the case

against him, there’s a tense moment when she has the chance to fling a cup of hot liquid

on his face and scar him. But she chooses not to do so, throwing plain water instead and

telling him that she does not want to do what he did to her, flinging acid on her face.

Whatever the equation between two people, there can be no justification for violence.

Govind’s lawyer informs the judge in the courtroom that his client is still willing

to marry Pallavi. Govind believes that because Pallavi can no longer be a pilot and no

guy would marry someone who looks like her, she has no alternative but to return to

him. Pallavi, on the other hand, is taken aback when the judge places the ‘offer’ in front

of her and immediately rejects it.

Uyare has the feel of a fairytale, despite the fact that the protagonist isn’t a fairy

tale princess. Pallavi not only finds genuine individuals like Vishal (Tovino Thomas) to

support her, but she also refuses to give up on her dreams. She remains confident in her
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abilities. Pallavi tells her father that it is not necessary for him to inform her about the

court’s ruling the next day. She’s also unconcerned about Govind’s latest attempt to kill

himself.

She has moved on from her past and is now free of the chains that held her to the

earth. Her life has been stormy, but a calm landing is yet conceivable.

Uyare, on the other hand, depicted the brutal realities of toxicity and advocated

opposing toxicity and violence.

Thappad (2020) is about Amrita’s (Taapsee Pannu) and Vikram’s (Pavail Gulati)

arranged marriage and how the two of them manage to fit in with each other’s

financially imbalanced yet friendly families. Sure, Vikram loves his wife, but he has

created a monster out of his career goals, which the better half wholeheartedly supports

and harbors. When Vikram slaps her in front of both families and others, her life is

turned upside down, and even both sides of the family are split on what is right, what

is wrong, and how much is too much, as well as the marital norms in our Indian context.

Regardless of the opinions flung at her, Amrita is fiery, resolves to embrace her inner

fighter, and stands up for what she genuinely believes—that even one slap is outrageous

and unacceptable.

Thappad is more than just a rambling tirade about borderline domestic violence;

it exposes the years of conditioning that a woman is subjected to by her own family and

the culture in which she lives. Other women in focus include one who is bearing the

brunt of a family’s name and legacy, one who is stuck on the idea that marriage is the

ultimate destination, one from the poorer section of society who is compelled to believe

that being thrashed by the husband is the norm, and one who has loved and lost a fine

husband and is now struggling to find a replacement who outdoes the former. The
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filmmakers manage to weave all of these storylines together and juxtapose them at the

appropriate points without being too obvious about it. It works marvelously

understatedly, as the stark disparity in their lives reveals.

Thappad showcases that marriage doesn’t mean being in chains; it is just a mutual

partnership.

The Great Indian Kitchen (2021) is a reminder of the underlying injustices in the

division of domestic labor and the burden—physical and psychological—that many

women bear, with a focus on the dull routine of unpaid everyday household work that

many women across India put up with. The movie raises various questions regarding

sexism and misogyny in Indian households, but it also persuades global audiences to

consider women’s socioeconomic contributions and the unfair distribution of labor in

modern society.

The story revolves around an unnamed protagonist, a newlywed lady who is a

skilled dancer but finds shortly after her arranged marriage that her job in the family is

secondary to the two men, her husband and her father-in-law, and that she has no

opportunities to pursue a career. The men in the family have complete control, and they

expect the women to serve them.

The wife’s day is packed with domestic activities, and she spends a significant

amount of time each day cooking three fresh meals. Indian cuisine takes time and effort,

especially if you insist on doing everything from scratch: washing, cutting, and

chopping the veggies and other materials; grinding the spices; cooking; and garnishing.

It is simple to spend hours in an Indian kitchen, and it can be enjoyable, but it is difficult

to do so on a daily basis while meeting the needs of each family member. That is what

the woman is expected to accomplish in this context.

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The demands of the two men, the father and son, are indicative of what a

daughter-in-law must endure, as well as the tremendous hold patriarchal traditions have

on women.

The film also addresses more issues that many Indian women face. For instance,

while the woman is menstruating, she is considered dirty and untouchable and is not

permitted to enter the kitchen. She is forced to spend the week in a dark room while her

aunt, a family relative, takes over the kitchen. The video masterfully incorporates the

Sabrimala controversy, which shook India some time ago. While the wife waits in her

seclusion chamber, TV news networks broadcast a debate over whether women should

be permitted to attend the Sabrimala temple, which has traditionally been open only to

men due to concerns about women approaching the temple in an ‘impure’

state.

The Great Indian Kitchen attempts to destabilize heteropatriarchal familial and

social systems as well as bring to light our society’s prevalent toxic masculinity. The

plight of the wife in the film is similar to that of many women in India, where domestic

labor is not only not recognized but is required as part of the marriage structure. For the

benefit of her husband’s family, a married lady should set aside all her ambitions,

aspirations, and wishes. Not only is this discourse completely mainstream, but opposing

it is regarded as a sign of unsuccessful womanhood. While many more women in India

are now working outside the home, often in high-profile roles, the expectations at home

have remained relatively the same. In fact, the lady now faces a double burden. The

only way to combat this type of toxic patriarchal society is to fight toxic masculinity

and intimate partner abuse as a community.

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The Great Indian Kitchen is a film that seeks to highlight existing disparities

while also empowering women. Despite the film’s focus being on India, it effectively

addresses the subject of unpaid domestic labor and the necessity to value such work

socially, politically, and economically in order to give women fair authority worldwide.

The movie had a regional remake in Tamil with the same title, The Great Indian

Kitchen (2023).

In the opening scene of Jaya Jaya Jaya Jaya Hey (2022), we witness a woman

getting ready for work in the kitchen and then a shot of a man, who is probably her

husband, who is still sleeping. The viewer wonders if The Great Indian Kitchen, has a

sequel. Then, the viewer quickly learns that it isn’t because Jaya Jaya Jaya Jaya Hey

delves deeper than the woman’s existence in a kitchen. It is still about the bias against

the female gender in our society, patriarchy in many forms, male chauvinism, and toxic

masculinity, but not without establishing the way out for women. In that sense, it is a

more positive commentary, told largely in a satirical way.

Jaya Jaya Jaya Jaya Hey, which is set in a small town in Kerala, tells the story

of Jayabharathi (Darshana Rajendran), a girl who marries Rajesh (Basil Joseph), a

brazen, conceited, ill-tempered, and rude man who slaps his wife at the drop of a hat,

without being able to follow her dreams of education and career. His recovery plan is

to take her out to supper right away and give her what ‘he likes’ to eat. The story ends

with the girl’s triumphant and empowered escape after dealing with this man.

Both the movies The Great Indian Kitchen and Jaya Jaya Jaya Jaya Hey speak

against domestic violence and misogyny.

To conclude, high expectations for romance and marriage have been

demonstrated to be closely correlated with movies. The opinions of people on love and
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relationships are shaped by romance movies; therefore, how couples are portrayed in

movies is becoming more and more significant. However, the romanticization of

unhealthy relationships in films is a long-standing tradition.

This is not to argue that it is always bad for toxic relationships to be portrayed in

movies. They can offer social commentary and advance the plot of a story when done

well and with the aim of toxicity, but they never give the impression to viewers that

these kinds of relationships are desirable.

But still, it’s necessary to make films about imperfect relationships. Of course,

there are problems in every relationship. But ‘imperfect’ does not equate to ‘unhealthy’.

It’s time to stop idealizing relationships that aren’t perfect but are certainly healthy.

Undoubtedly, this can help individuals, especially youngsters, perceive healthy

relationships better.