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WELCOME TO WONDERLAND
A play by Penny Jackson

© 2021 by Penny Jackson

685 West End Avenue
New York, NY 10025
212-662-5604
pennybjackson@gmail.com
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CHARACTERS

BECKY 17, Hispanic, very pretty and smart

JESSICA 17, blonde, pretty but tough, Becky's best

friend

LUCY CROSS 40, head of Human Resources at

Wonderland Theme Park. Also plays the
Queen Of Hearts

MAD HATTER 30-50. An employee of Wonderland

RANDY 25, a homely young woman who works at

the Rapid Rabbits kiddie ride

MANAGER 40, manager of the White Queen Restaurant

MICHAEL 19, works at the Ferris Wheel. Jessica’s

boyfriend

RAY WALSH 45, Becky’s step-father

TIME: The Present

SETTING: A fantasy theme amusement park called Wonderland. Note: The setting should not be
realistic, but almost dream-like. Various settings should be suggested. In the distance, there
should be an image of a Ferris Wheel and a sign that reads: WONDERLAND: WHERE
FANTASY IS REAL. Perhaps, at times, there is the sound of tinkling carousel music and
children's voices.
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Scene 1

The MAD HATTER stands alone on the stage with a dancing cane. He is a slightly deranged looking
man wearing a top hat, a long jacket, bow tie and gloves. He performs a tap dance.

MAD HATTER (singing)

Welcome to Wonderland, Welcome to Wonderland,
Where young and old share hearts as well as hands
(He stops. Looks confused.)
Hold on. Need to remember the words here. Ah yes. A place a fantasy, a place of fun, everyone
come all, come one! To the one and only
(with fanfare)
WONDERLAND!
(pause)
Advice for first time visitors. Don't take pills from anyone, and be careful of the looking glass.
(He tips his hat and exits. Lights rise on BECKY and JESSICA, two teenage girls, who
stand awkwardly in MISS CROSS' office. BECKY is Hispanic while JESSICA is a
blonde girl. Both girls wear blue cotton dresses, white shoes and white hair bands.
JESSICA, chewing gum, wanders around while BECKY stands still.)

BECKY
Where did she go?
(calling out)
Miss Cross?

JESSICA
What do you think she wants?

BECKY
You better spit out your gum.
.
(JESSICA spits out gum and looks at it in her hand.)
Where should I put this? I can't leave it in the trash.
(taking a Kleenex from her pocket, she wraps up the gum and puts it in her pocket.)
I wonder why she's interviewing us the same time.

JESSICA
Maybe to save time? I don't know about you, but I'm really nervous.

BECKY
Me too.

JESSICA
I need this job.
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BECKY
Me too.

JESSICA
I want to be an Alice.

BECKY
My cousin's girlfriend, she wasn't an Alice. She wasn't anything but some girl who had to
wear an orange uniform and clean the toilers.

JESSICA
Ugh! (pause) Do you think we both can be Alices?

BECKY
I don't know.
(Holds out her hand.)
I'm Becky. Becky Valdez.

JESSICA
(shaking hands)
Jessica Walsh.

BECKY
Good luck, Jessica Walsh.

JESSICA
You too.

BECKY
You know we're wearing practically the same dress.

JESSICA
All those girls outside - they all had blue dresses too.

BECKY
Actually, Alice doesn't wear a blue dress in the original illustration. She only wears it in the
Disney movie.

JESSICA
I’ve like watched that Disney movie a hundred times.

BECKY
In the original book, Alice wears a yellow dress. The illustrator, John Tenniel...

JESSICA
Whoa! Are you like an Alice in Wonderland freak!
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BECKY
It's just always been one of my favorite books.

JESSICA
Do you know I applied for a job here for three straight years.

BECKY
Shhh...I hear her.
(LUCY CROSS, a crisp and efficient woman in her forties, wearing a blue uniform,
enters with a tape measure and a clipboard.)

MISS CROSS
Sorry girls that I took so long. Which one of you is …
(She consults the clipboard.)
Jessica Walsh?

JESSICA
That’s me!

MISS CROSS
(Again, she consults her clipboard. To BECKY:)
So that makes you Becky Valdez.

BECKY
That’s my name, don’t wear it out.

MISS CROSS
If you don't mind, I need to check your heights. Our Alices must be no taller than five feet six.
(She takes out a tape measure and measures each girl's height. She then writes the
statistics in a small red book.)
You are lucky that both of you are not over five feet six. Otherwise, you would have to be one
of the other characters, such as the Red Queen, who, as you can guess, is not very popular.

BECKY
So are we both …?

MISS CROSS
Alices. Yes.

(JESSICA looks at BECKY in disbelief.)

BECKY
Thank you, Miss Cross.

JESSICA
Yes, thank you.
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(MISS CROSS takes two boxes from beneath her desk and hands them to JESSICA
and BECKY.)

MISS CROSS
Open them.

BECKY
Excuse me?

MISS CROSS
I said open them!

(BECKY and JESSICA open the boxes and take out blonde wigs.)
Go ahead. Try them on!

JESSICA
Now?

MISS CROSS
Now. All our Alices need to look identical.

(The two girls, with much awkwardness, place the blonde wigs on their heads. MISS CROSS
claps her hands.)
Very good. You may take the wigs off now. Congratulations on behalf of the Carson
Corporation and Wonderland Fantasy Park Enterprises.

BECKY & JESSICA

Thank you!

MISS CROSS
Girls, I expect you to read The Employees Handbook, but here are some rules. Are you listening?

BECKY & JESSICA

Yes Miss Cross!

MISS CROSS
First, get rid of all nail polish. No eye shadow or lipstick. If you chew gum, you're suspended
for a week. Absolutely no cigarettes, marijuana, alcohol or any other sort of intoxicants. We
had a problem last year with Vick's cough syrup. All the employees of Wonderland are required
MISS CROSS (cont.)
to learn the park's song. It's hot here so always wear extra-strength deodorant. And there's a
mandatory requirement to attend all the parades. We were hoping to train all our Alices to
speak with British accents, but it proved too difficult.
(to BECKY)
Let's see your smile.
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BECKY
Excuse me?

MISS CROSS
I need a Wonderland smile.

BECKY (smiling)
How's this?

MISS CROSS
No, dear.
(smiling frighteningly)
More like the Cheshire Cat.

BECKY (bigger smile)

Is this better?

MISS CROSS
Almost. May I?
(She walks to BECKY and spreads her cheeks so that her smile is manic, almost
terrifying.)

JESSICA
Can I try later? My mouth is kind of hurting right now.

MISS CROSS
I want both of you to know that Wonderland is a wholesome family park. There's a reason
why the boys’ dormitory is a mile away. Understand?

BECKY & JESSICA

Yes, I understand.

(MISS CROSS walks to the window and stares out.)

MISS CROSS
Look at that line of girls! Do you know how many girls I see a day? Who are they? Where do
they all come from? When will it all stop? I even have grown women pretending to be
MISS CROSS (cont.)
little girls so they can work here.
(Turns back to BECKY and JESSICA.)
Becky, come here for a moment. Jessica, you are dismissed.

(JESSICA exits. MISS CROSS touches BECKY'S face.)

Yes, they'll like you.

BECKY
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Excuse me?

MISS CROSS
Valdez. Is that Mexican?

BECKY
Yes.

MISS CROSS
Both your parents?

BECKY
No. Only my father.

MISS CROSS
And where is your father now?

BECKY
He's back in Mexico. My parents...

MISS CROSS
Divorced? I'm sorry.

BECKY
Happened when I was a baby. I'm fine.

MISS CROSS
I'm sure you are, Becky.
(She walks to the door.)
Good luck. I'll see you at Orientation.

(BECKY exits and sees JESSICA, waiting for her.)

JESSICA
Hi.

BECKY
We're both Alices.

JESSICA
Wigs and all, here we come! I really have to pee. Be right back.
(She exits. The MAD HATTER enters.)

MAD HATTER (very fast))

Wonderland features more than thirty rides and attractions, including the Caterpillar, the
state's fastest rollercoaster, QUEEN OF HEARTS Carousel, which features fifty horses, and
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my favorite, The Mad Hatter's House of Horrors, which is eager to welcome one more ghost
to their ranks.
(giggles eerily)
And then there is the Parade.

BECKY
The parade?

MAD HATTER
Alice's parade occurs at 8 PM, right before the fireworks. There are at least twenty floats
covered in thousands of lights and a synchronized sound track and a cast of hundreds. But
there is only one Parade Alice, and she is..
(Stares hard at BECKY.)
Very, very special.
(He exits. JESSICA returns.)

JESSICA
Hey, you okay?

BECKY
Did you just see a man dressed as the Mad Hatter?

JESSICA
No. But I'm sure there are lots of them all around the park.

BECKY
This one just spoke to me. Kind of spooked me.

JESSICA
Well, what did you expect? He’s the Mad Hatter. Hey Becky, let's make a promise together.

BECKY
Sure.

JESSICA
Let's promise not to fall down any rabbit holes.

BECKY
I promise.

(The girls shake hands.)

JESSICA
Come on, we don't want to be late for orientation.

(JESSICA and BECKY exit. The MAD HATTER appears, followed by the QUEEN OF
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HEARTS, who carries a book and an axe.)

QUEEN OF HEARTS
There, you are, Hatter!

MAD HATTER
I'm late.

QUEEN OF HEARTS
That's the White Rabbit's line - not yours.

MAD HATTER
I must go.

QUEEN OF HEARTS
You will stay, or off with your head. It's time for a little reading today.

MAD HATTER
Please, not now.

QUEEN OF HEARTS
Hatter!!
(She takes out a copy of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.)
Chapter Six. READ!

(The MAD HATTER clears his throat.)

MAD HATTER
"I don't want to go among mad people, Alice remarked. "Oh, you can't help that," said The Cat.
"We are all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You
must be," said the Cat...

QUEEN OF HEARTS
… or you wouldn't have come here at all!"
(She laughs maliciously as the MAD HATTER cowers in fear. Lights fade to dark as the
carousel music that is the theme of Wonderland grows louder and louder.)

(Lights fade to:)

Scene 2

The Ferris Wheel ticket kiosk. BECKY, still in her Alice uniform, examines a park map, is lost.
MICHAEL joins her. He is wearing a striped Wonderland Ferris Wheel operator uniform.)

MICHAEL
Hey.
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BECKY
Hey.

MICHAEL
You look lost.

BECKY
I'm looking for Bungalow 16. The employee quarters?

MICHAEL
So you're new here? Welcome. I'm Michael.

BECKY
I'm Becky.

MICHAEL
Have a wonderful Wonderland day.

BECKY
Why, thanks!

MICHAEL
You're supposed to say that to anyone you meet here in Wonderland. Tourists. Other employees.

BECKY
I am?

MICHAEL
Didn't you read the book of rules?

BECKY
I kind of just skimmed it.

MICHAEL
That book is really important.

BECKY
Thanks for the advice, Michael. And have a wonderful Wonderland day.

MICHAEL
Now you're getting it! (Pause) I'm an old pro here. Been here for years.

BECKY
You're too young to have worked here that long!

MICHAEL
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Started as a kid in the Horror House. Now I work at The Ferris Wheel. (Pause) You're prettier
than any Alice here.

BECKY
Thanks.

MICHAEL
Welcome to Wonderland, a place of fantasy, a place of fun. Hey, do you know the song yet?

BECKY
I need to learn it.

MICHAEL
You sure do. Don't ever forget the song, or The Jabberwocky might get you. Where are you
working?

BECKY
The White Queen restaurant.

MICHAEL
You'll make good money at the White Queen.

BECKY
I better. I was hoping for college but I didn't get a scholarship

MICHAEL
You want to go to college?

BECKY
Yes. Don't you?

MICHAEL
Not really.

BECKY
I want to be a paleontologist.

MICHAAEL
A what?

BECKY
A scientist who digs for fossils. I was always crazy about dinosaurs, and I want to travel to the
desert.

MICHAEL
Wow. Wonderland's enough travel for me.
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(JESSICA enters.)

JESSICA
Hey, Becky, I've been looking all over for you.
(Sees MICHAEL.)
Hi, I'm Jessica.

MICHAEL
Hey, I'm Michael.

JESSICA
Love the stripes.

MICHAEL
Yeah? Thanks.

BECKY (to MICHAEL)

So maybe we can meet later. You know, give me the tour.

MICHAEL
We can go on the very top wheel of The Ferris Wheel and watch the parade. It's an awesome
view.

BECKY
That sounds great.

MICHAEL
And don't ever forget the Wonderland song.

BECKY
I won’t! See you later.
(She and MICHAEL exit. MAD HATTER appears with an ukulele.)

MAD HATTER (singing)

There's a porpoise close behind us and he's treading on my tail.
See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!
They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?