158 PART II Paragraph Patterns

l!JE Write the first draft of The First Draft

an argument paragraph.
After you outline your ideas in a plan, you are ready to write the first draft. Remember
to write complete sentences. You might include transitional words or expressions to
help your ideas flow smoothly.

Transitional Words and Expressions

The following transitional words and expressions can introduce an answer to the
opposition or the support for an argument:

To Answer the Opposition To Support Your Argument

admittedly certainly
however consequently
nevertheless furthermore
of course in fact
on one hand/on the other hand obviously
undoubtedly of course

THE WRITER'S DESK Write the First Draft

Write the first draft of your argument paragraph. Before you write, carefully
review your paragraph plan and make any necessary changes.

► REVISING AND EDITING

(!jl]Revise and edit an Revise and Edit an Argument Paragraph

argument paragraph.
When you finish writing an argument paragraph, carefully review your work and revise
it to make the supporting examples as clear as possible to your readers. Check that the
order of ideas is logical, and remove any irrelevant details.

PRACTICE 5
Read the next student paragraph and answer the questions.

People should stop suing each other over minor incidents. Of course, some people

think that citizens need the right to sue and that lawsuits make doctors more careful. But

too many people are greedy idiots. Canadians should accept that accidents can happen,
Canadians…+and/period/semicomma+…
they should stop hunting for easy money. For example, a woman sued McDonald's

because she spilled hot coffee on her own lap. In our province, after a driver answered

his cellphone and had an accident, he sued his own boss for phoning him. Those people

should take responsibility for their own actions. In addition, the lawsuits create antagonism

between friends and neighbours. For example, our neighbour, Mrs. Blair, slipped and fell
 \l
CHAPTER 12 Argument 159
Mrs. Blair wearing high heels
on a sidewalk wearing high heels. She sued our other neighbour, Mr. Ferner, and now

they are not friends no more. Finally, consider why are prices so high. Lawsuits contribute
they are not friends anymore
to higher expenses for everyone. Medical costs increase when doctors pay for malpractice

insurance. Companies pass along the costs of defending themselves to consumers. In

Alberta and elsewhere, Canadians have to stop suing each other for ridiculous reasons.

~Jill Chen, student

Revising
1. Underline the topic sentence.
2. The writer uses an emotionally charged word. Remove it.
3. Does the writer acknowledge the opposition? Yes No
If you answered "yes," circle the sentence in which the writer acknowledges
the opposition.
4. Number the three supporting arguments. Then summarize the three ideas here.

GRAMMAR LINK
See the following chapters
Editing for more information about
5. A run-on sentence occurs when two complete ideas are joined incorrectly with these grammar topics:

a comma. Identify and correct a run-on sentence. Slang versus Standard

English, Chapter 32,
6. This paragraph contains a misplaced modifier. Underline the modifier and Dangling Modifiers,
indicate where it should be placed. Chapter 31
Run-On Sentences,
7. Underline and correct an embedded question error. (For information about Chapter 21
embedded questions, see the Grammar Hint below.) Embedded Questions,
Chapter 18
8. Underline and correct a double negative error.

GRAMMAR HINT Using Embedded Questions

When you embed a question inside a larger sentence, you should not use the
question word order. Make sure that your embedded questions are correctly written.
why our government doesn't
Some people wonder why doesn't our goYernment strictly regulate the banks.

THE WRITER'S DESK Revise and Edit Your Paragraph

Revise and edit the paragraph that you wrote for the previous Writer's Desk.
Make sure that your paragraph has unity, adequate support, and coherence. Also
correct any errors in grammar, spelling, punctuation, and mechanics .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
160 PART II Paragraph Patterns
Reflect on It
Think about what you have learned in this chapter. If you do not know an answer,
review that topic.
@ Pearson
I My l ab I Writing
Complete these
writing assignments at
www.pearson.com/mylab
WRITING LINK
MORE ARGUMENT
WRITING TOPICS
Chapter 25, Writer's Room
topic 2 (page 360)
Chapter 26, Writer's Room
topic 2 (page 374)
Chapter 27, Writer's Room
topic 2 (page 379)
Chapter 28, Writer's Room
topic 2, (page 395)
Chapter 31, Writer's Room
topic 2 (page 436)
Chapter 33, Writer's Room
topics 1 and 2
(page 461)
1. What is the main purpose of an argument paragraph or essay?
2. What is the difference between a statement of opinion and a statement of
argument?
3. What five types of supporting evidence can you use in argument writing?
4. In argument writing, you should avoid circular reasoning. What is circular
reasoning?
5. Why is it important to avoid using emotionally charged words?
1) Pearson I Mylab IWriting
THE WRITER'S ROOM
Writing Activity 1: Topics
Choose any of the following topics, or choose your own topic. Then write
an argument paragraph. Remember to narrow your topic and to follow the
writing process.
General Topics College- and Work-Related Topics
Should Should
1. the voting age be raised or 6. companies give drug testing to
lowered? employees?
2. nickles be removed from 7. all college programs include
circulation? internships?
3. people look for partners online? 8. physical education courses be
4. the government provide free compulsory in colleges?
9. office relationships be permitted?
daycare?
5. children be home-schooled? 10. tips for service be abolished?
 CHAPTER 12 Argument 161

Writing Activity 2: Media Writing READING LINK MORE

ARGUMENT READINGS
Watch a television show or movie that "The Importance of Music"
deals with health care. You could watch by Christine Bigras
(page 229)
a television show, such as Grey's Anatomy, §
"Robot Ethics" (page 231)
Nurse Jackie, Saving Hope, Keeping Canada ~ "Stealing Glances" by
Alive, or Hous e. Movies include My ~ Sheila Heti (page 523)
Sister's Keeper, The Healthcare Movie, and j "The Making of Penny
Seven Pounds . Find a controversial issue ~ Oleksiak" by Jonathon
Gatehouse (page 526)
in the program or movie, and write an ~
argument paragraph. Give examples to ~
support your ideas ~

, -Ar9ument Para9raph Checklist -- - - -- - - -- - - - - -,

As you write your argument paragraph, review the checklist at the end of the
book. Also ask yourself the following questions:
D Does my topic sentence clearly state my position on the issue?
D Do I make strong supporting arguments?
D Do I include facts, examples, statistics, logical consequences, or answers to
the opposition?
D Do my supporting arguments provide evidence that directly supports the
topic sentence?
 An essay is a series of paragraphs that support one main or central idea. Essays
differ in length, style, and subject, but the structure of an essay generally consists
of an introductory paragraph, several body paragraphs, and a concluding
paragraph .

Before you begin reading the following chapters, become familiar with the parts
of the common five-paragraph essay by reviewing the student essay on the next
page.

CHAPTER 13 CHAPTER 14 CHAPTER 15

► WRITING THE ESSAY ► ESSAY PATTERNS ► ENHANCING YOUR

• Develop a series of paragraphs • Apply the nine paragraph WRITING WITH RESEARCH
that support one main idea. patterns covered in Chapters 4 • Research information to
through 12 to essay writing. effectively support essay
writing.

162
 The title gives a hint
THE PRICE OF GLORY about the essay's topic.

Ten thousand people cheer as the sprinter crosses the line far ahead of the An introductory
rest. Just as many wince as the captain of the hockey team misses the game- paragraph introduces
winning slapshot. Hosting the grand , international spectacle known as the the essay's topic and
Olympics is a nearly universal aspiration for any city on the international stage, contains its thesis
statement.
and it is easy to get caught up in the glory, the agony, the ecstasy of world-
class sport. Yet, the truth of the matter is that hosting the Olympic Games is a
very poor use of large amounts of money, and that money could and should The thesis statement
contains the essay's topic
be spent more wisely elsewhere. The limited benefits are outweighed by the
and its controlling idea.
high cost, both economic and human, of hosting the games.
It is no secret that the costs involved in being the host country for the
Olympic Games is extremely high , but not everyone realizes just how high . The
recent average price tag for hosting the games is an incredible $16.2 billion
(Gaines , 20 15). Furthermore, it is quite unusual for such enormous budgets to
actually be enough money, and the cost has been shown to overru n estimates
"with 100 percent consistency" (Flyvbjerg and Stewart, 2012). The average
host city can expect to spend an infl ation-adjusted 179 percent more than
anticipated (Flyvbjerg and Stewart , 20 12) . The princely sums requ ired often
force governments to make deep cuts to public spending and borrow billions
in order to pay for it all, pl us interest. Hasty construction of facilities and day-
to -day expenses associated with the sixteen-day event are not the only big
bil ls that the games inevitably bring, either. Adequate money is rarely allocated
for future upkeep of the newly built ice rinks, racetracks, and stadiums, an
unfortunate fact that can affect government balance sheets long after the
athletes go home and the roar of the crowd fades from memory. Each body paragraph
begins with a topic
Given the unbelievable sums of cash that are spent on these new facilities,
sentence and contains
one might hope that they would be put to good use. Unfortunately, nothing supporting details.
could be further from the truth. The elaborate new infrastructure intended to
amaze tourists often goes unused afterwards, as in the case of the Montreal
Velodrome, an indoor cycling track which fell into disuse soon after it was
built in 1976 for a shocking -at-the-time $7 4.5 million, over 1000% more than
initially projected (" Montreal Games," 1978) . Sixteen years later, the venue was
eventually converted into an indoor nature park, at the price of an add itional
CAD $58.2 million (Hillard, 1995). Proponents of the Olympics will often tout
the numerous jobs that this new construction creates for the local population ,
but much like the games themselves, these assignments are only temporary
and ultimately disappear as quickly as they arrived. Furthermore, these projects
are typically rushed to completion in anticipation of the opening ceremonies,
and this tight schedule almost invariably leads to substandard central planning
and a "good enough" attitude to the quality of the workmanship. In fact, the
requirements of the games can often be at odds with the true needs of the
public, as well as common sense. A new transit line, for instance, may have
to transport several thousand people an hour during the games but find itself
grossly oversized for typical post-Olympic passenger volume.
The eye-popping dollar figures inherent in an event of this magnitude do
not tell the whole story, however, Merriam-Webster defines "opportunity cost"
as "the added cost of using resources that is the difference between the actual
value resulting from such use and that of an alternative" ("Opportunity cost") .

163
 This is perhaps the most damning criterion that the Olympic Games can be
judged by, as the opportunity cost of more than $16 billion being spent on a
televised athletic competition cannot be overstated. A sum of that magnitude
is more than half of the UN-estimated $30 billion per year needed to end world
hunger ("Price of Hunger," 2008) and is almost 6 percent of the entire federal
budget of Canada for 2015. In this light, the Olympics do not seem like quite
the value proposition they are made out to be. That being said, not all prices
can be measured in dollars and cents. The human cost, that is to say, the
lasting negative effects on the local populace, are not as widely discussed as
the monetary side but are no less relevant. Residents are often kicked out of
their family homes to make room for the development of new sports complexes,
ill-conceived projects are often prematurely approved by indifferent planning
boards, and municipal coffers are raided to pay for it all. Far too often, the host
city can no longer afford the valuable public works projects that were coming
down the pipeline beforehand . This makes it more than a monetary issue, and
casts a darker image of the Olympics than is usually portrayed in the media.
Given all the drawbacks involved in being an "official host city," it is no
surprise that a sizable portion of citizens will be adversely affected by a bid
to host the Olympic Games, a decision they have very little say in but one
that can rob them of billions upon billions of hard-earned tax dollars. One
wonders what good could be done if there was as much public enthusiasm
for philanthropy as there is for these costly, extravagant games. It doesn't - Conclusion 's annotation
take much imagination to think of a better use for $16 billion than "televised
amateur sports," but it doesn't take much more than common sense to
comprehend how unlikely it is that the International Olympic Committee will
take money out of their own pockets to help the needy in this world.
- From "The Price of Glory by Erica Watts." Used by permission of the author.

WORKS CITED
Flyvbjerg, B., and A. Stewart, (20 12, June). "Olympic Proportions:
Cost and Cost Overrun at the Olympics 1960-2012. " University
of Oxford Said Business School working paper, June 2012, p. 11.
Gaines, C . "The Cost of Hosting the Olympics is Getting out of
Control." Business Insider. 30 July 2015. Web. 20 July 2017.
Hillard, J. Aquariums of North America: A Guidebook to Appre-
ciating North America's Aquatic Treasures. Google Books.
Google. 1995. Web. 20 July 2017.
"Montreal Games Velodrome Cost 1,000 Percent More than Origi-
nal Estimate." The Day. Associated Press. 21 Sept. 1978. Web.
20 July 2017.
"Opportunity cost." Merriam-Webster Online . 20 July 2017.
"The Price of Hunger." Los Angeles Times. 23 June 2008. Web. 20
July 2017.

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