ALDERSGATE COLLEGE EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION 2

COLLEGE OF ARTS, SCIENCES AND EDUCATION

MODULE 31: IMPROVING YOUR ESSAY

OVERVIEW

This module presents several techniques students can use to write more interesting, more sophisticated and
clearer essays.

OBJECTIVES

At the end of the module, you should be able to:

1. Learn several techniques students can use to write more interesting, more sophisticated and clearer essays
2. Apply all the previously learned concepts in grammar and writing to come up with an effective essay

LEARNING FOCUS (PRESENTED IN PPT)

There are several techniques you can use to write more interesting, more sophisticated, and clearer essays.

VARYING SENTENCE LENGTH

Good writing in English consists of a more or less equal balance between short simple sentences having
only one clause and longer sentences containing two or more clauses. Make an effort to use sentences of various
lengths.

Here are some of the most common ways to combine simple (one-clause) sentences:

1. With adjective-clause markers (relative pronouns)

There are many reasons to agree with this statement. I will discuss three of them in this essay.
There are many reasons to agree with this statement, three of which, I will discuss in this essay.

2. With adverb-clause markers (subordinate conjunctions)

The invention of the automobile is undoubtedly one of humankind's greatest inventions.

Not everybody can enjoy the benefits of owning a car.

Although the invention of the automobile is undoubtedly one of humankind's greatest. inventions, not
everybody can enjoy die benefits of owning a car.
3. With coordinate conjunctions (but, and, or, so, and so on)

The invention of the automobile is undoubtedly one of humankind's greatest inventions.

Not everybody can enjoy the benefits of owning a car.

The invention of the automobile is undoubtedly one of humankind's greatest inventions, but not everybody
can enjoy the benefits of owning a car.

Look back at the paragraphs you wrote for Module 30. If most of the sentences you wrote were simple one-
clause sentences, you should be combining some of these sentences using these and other techniques. On the other
hand, if all of the sentences you wrote are complicated and contain two or more clauses, you should write some of
these as shorter, simpler sentences.

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VARYING THE ORDER OF SENTENCE PARTS

You should also vary the order of parts of a sentence. Begin some sentences with prepositional phrases or
subordinate clauses.

Instead of: I disagree with this idea for several reasons.

Try: For several reasons, I disagree with this idea.

Instead of: I support Idea A even though Idea B has some positive attributes.
Try: Even though Idea B has some positive attributes, I support Idea A.

USING SIGNAL WORDS

Signal words can be used to join paragraph to paragraph and sentence to sentence. These words make
your essay clearer and easier to follow. Some of these expressions and their meanings are given below:

1. Expressions used to list points, examples, or reasons

Additional Examples or Reasons
Second, (Third, Fourth,)
First Example or Reason A second (third, fourth) example
First, is . . .
For example, Another example is . . . Final Example or Reason
The first reason for this is Another reason is that. . . Finally,
that. . . In addition,
Furthermore,
Moreover, To Show Contrast
To Show a Conclusion
Therefore, However,
Consequently,To Give Individual Examples On the other hand,
Thus, For example, For instance, To give a Nevertheless,
specific example, X is an example of Y.

To Show Similarity
Likewise, Similarly, To Begin a Concluding Paragraph
To Express an Opinion In conclusion, In summary,
In my opinion, Personally,

2. Examples of the Use of Signal Words

I agree with the idea of stricter gun control for a number of reasons. First, statistics show that guns are not very
effective in preventing crime. Second, accidents involving guns frequently occur. Finally, guns can be stolen and
later used in crimes.

I believe that a good salary is an important consideration when looking for a career. However, the nature of the
work is more important to me. Thus, I would not accept a job that I did not find rewarding.

For me, the reasons for living in an urban area are stronger than 'the reasons for living in a rural community.
Therefore, I agree with those people who believe it is an advantage to live in a big city.

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Don't overuse signal words. In general, don't use more than one or two per paragraph.

LEARNING ACTIVITY

ACTIVITY 1

Focus: Joining simple one-clause sentences into more complicated sentences

Directions: Using the words listed below, join the sentences into a single sentence. Don’t change the order in which
the clauses are given. In some cases, there may be more than one way to join the sentences.

so who even though although since

but or which and because

1. One of the most important holidays in my country is Independence Day. It is celebrated on

September 16th.
2. Young children have a special talent for language learning. Children should be taught other
languages at an early age.
3. My brother began studying at the university. He has taken several large classes.
4. Some forms of advertising serve a useful purpose. Many forms of advertising do not.
5. A friend is an acquaintance. He or she will help you whenever possible.
6. I believe corporations should do more to recycle materials. I believe they should do more to reduce
air pollution.
7. Small classes are the best environment for learning. Sometimes universities must have large
classes.

Activity 2

Focus: Varying the order of adverb clauses and prepositional phrases

Directions: You wrote four sentences in the previous exercise using adverb-clause markers (because, since,
although, and even though). Rewrite these four sentences in the first four spaces below, changing the order of the
main clause and the adverb clause.

Then rewrite the next two sentences, changing the position of prepositional phrases or other sentence parts

1. Students get more personal attention in small classes.

2. I would use e-mail if I needed to get in touch with a business associate.

Activity 3

Focus: Recognizing signal words and understanding their use

Directions: Several signal words are used in the sample introductions, bodies, and conclusions presented in Module
30. Look back at these samples and underline all the signal words that you can find. In each case, try to understand
why the writer used those words.

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COLLEGE OF ARTS, SCIENCES AND EDUCATION

Activity 4

Focus: Using signal words to link sentences.

Directions: Use the signal words listed to link the sentences below. In some cases, there may be more than one
correct answer. Not all the signal words will be used.

likewise furthermore therefore for example

however in conclusion on the other hand personally

1. I believe that women should have the right to serve in the military. __________, I don't believe that they should
be assigned to combat roles.

2. Many actors, rock musicians, and sports stars receive huge amounts of money for the work that they do.
__________, a baseball player was recently offered a contract worth over 12 million dollars. __________, I feel
that this is far too much to pay a person who simply provides entertainment.

3. The development of the automobile has had a great impact on people everywhere. __________, the
development of high-speed trains has had an impact on people in many countries, including my home country of
France.

4. I used to work in a restaurant when I was in college. I realize what a difficult job restaurant work is. __________,
whenever I go out to eat, I try to leave a good tip for my waiter or waitress.

5. Many people would agree with the idea that the best use for the open space in our community is to build a
shopping center in this community. __________, there are other people who feel we should turn this open space
into a park.

Activity 5

Focus: Using sentence variety to improve the quality of writing in an essay

Directions: The following essay contains short simple sentences consisting of only one clause. Rewrite the essay.
Combine sentences, vary the order of sentence parts, use signal words, and make whatever other changes you think
are necessary to create a more interesting essay.

Remember, don't eliminate all single-clause sentences. Good writing consists of a mixture of short, simple sentences
and longer, more complicated ones.

This essay was written in response to the following prompt:

Some people like to go to the same place for their vacations. Other people like to take their vacations in
different places. Which of these two choices do you prefer? Give specific reasons for your choice.

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There are certain people. They always like to take their vacations in the same place. They return from a vacation. They ask themselves,
"When can I go back there again?" There are other people. They like to go many places. They like to do many different things on their vacations.
They return from a vacation. They ask themselves, "Where can I go next?"

My parents are perfect examples of the first kind of people. They always like to go to a lake in the mountains. They went there on their
honeymoon. They bought a vacation cabin there. They bought it several years after they were married. They have gone there two or three times a
year for over twenty-five years. My parents have made friends. They have made friends with the people who also own cabins there. They enjoy
getting together with them. Both my parents enjoy sailing and swimming. My father likes to go fishing. My parents enjoy variety. They say they
can get variety by going to their cabin at different times of the year. They particularly like to go there in the autumn. The leaves are beautiful
then.

I am an example of a person. I like to go to different places for her vacation. I was a child. I went to my parents' cabin. I got older. I
wanted to travel to many different places. I spent a lot of time and money learning how to ski. I wanted to travel to places where I could ski. I
could ski in Switzerland. I was interested in visiting historic places. I went to Angkor Wat in Cambodia. It was difficult to get there. I would
like to go to Egypt. I want to see the pyramids there. I would like to go to Rome. I want to see the Coliseum there.

I enjoy going to familiar places. I find that going to strange places is more exciting. The world is so huge and exciting. I don't want to
go to the same place twice. I also understand my parents' point of view. They believe that you can never get to know a place too well.

Activity 6

Focus: Using sentence variety to improve the quality of your own writing

Directions: Look back at the three introductions, bodies, and conclusions you wrote for Module 30. Can these essays
be improved by varying the length of the sentences (either combining short sentences or breaking longer ones into
two sentences), by varying the order of sentence parts, or by using signal words appropriately? Make any changes in
these paragraphs that you think will make them clearer and more interesting.

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