Slayers Special ②

Little Princess

Hajime Kanzaka

Fujimi Fantasia Bunko

Labyrinth

Translation
Sherrasama

Editing
Savvyliterate
Cutepiku
 The door opened with a terrible creaking noise. The black shadow of a figure standing in
the doorway took a quick glance around the shop.

“Hoo-ho-ho-ho! A job, Lina! I found us a job! …Hey, what’s this now? Why are you
suddenly burying your face in your potato salad?”

“Y…Y…You know, Naga……” Somehow, I raised my head, wiped the potato salad from
my face, and gave an exhausted look to Naga as she stood across the table from me.

Naga the Serpent. The bit of goldfish poop that calls herself my rival. Regrettably,
despite the appearance of being a beautiful, intelligent-looking woman with long, black hair,
there’s not a normal thing about her. The black cloak might be forgivable, but her outfit is
pointlessly revealing, with an equally pointless skull pendant. What did have points, while still
lacking any actual purpose, were her black shoulderguards, having thorny spikes sticking out all
over the place.

If someone suddenly kicked open the door to your restaurant in a getup that yelled at the
top of its lungs, “Hi! I’m an evil sorceress! (Demonstration Model),” while also actually yelling out
to you at the top of their lungs, you’d have faceplanted into your food, too.

“Can’t you just…go and live, like, a normal life, or something?”

She raised her eyebrows as I spoke. “Hohoo…Will you tell me? Exactly which part of me
is not normal?”

“Gaaaah! For one thing, asking a brazen question like that is in itself not normal!
A-Anyway! We’re talking outside!” Unable to bear the stares of those around us, I hurriedly
stood up from my seat. I didn’t mind standing out, but “public humiliation” was another thing
altogether. Leaving about half of my food behind, I paid my bill and left the restaurant with Naga.

Sob…Goodbye, my dear, delicious yakiniku set…

*****

“ …And? What sort of work? It’s all above board, right?” I asked Naga as we traversed a
street lined with dozens of stalls.

“Not to worry! This time, it’s a wonderful commission for the sake of the world and its
people, that also happens to include a reward!”

For…the sake of the world and its people…? Am I the only one who feels an
unfathomable sense of unease when I hear words like that coming out of Naga's mouth?

“Okay, so, what exact kind of work are we talking about here?”
 “Well, to put it truthfully, saving lives.”

Wobble. Feeling slightly lightheaded, I stopped dead in my tracks, “N-Now…wait a sec

there, Naga. You didn’t say ‘saving lives’ by any chance, did you?”

“That’s what I said. So what?” she replied casually.

I let out a weary sigh. “Naga…are you familiar with the expression ‘know thyself?’”
 “What exactly do you mean by that!?”

“I mean exactly what I said! As-is! You know as well as I do, as much as we don’t want to
admit it, that our teaming up has never once ended up with anything other than unmitigated
disaster! So ‘saving lives,’ or what have you, would cause even zombies to laugh their asses
off!”

I thought it was a pretty convincing (if a little sad) argument myself, but she just brushed
it off.

“Hmph…still so naive, Lina Inverse.” She shook her finger at me while tsking righteously.
“You don’t seem to be familiar with the expression ‘resistance is futile.’”

…It was at this time I was reminded, once again, just how fearsome this woman was.

*****

All around, there was the smell of cold, damp vegetation. In the mountains a little ways
from the village, the two of us stood in front of a light gray building that was covered in moss
and ivy and partially buried in the earth.

According to Naga’s story, some young men from that village had dared each other to go
deep into these ruins just for the fun of it, but still had not returned after several days. Perhaps
they got lost inside, or maybe… There had long been rumors that strange monsters now inhabit
these ruins, and the villagers were too frightened to go in after them. Thus, the village chief had
recruited her, seeing that she was dressed as a sorceress.

Our job, for the time being, was to ascertain their safety and, if circumstances allowed,
rescue them. Apparently, these ruins were originally a large building that, after a cave-in or two
here and connecting to a natural cavern or two there, had become a rather complex labyrinth,
but—

“That’s it! I have a great idea!” I exclaimed, slapping my fist into my palm.

“And that is?”

“How about I blow up the ruins with a Dragon Slave or something and say, ‘Oh no! It
didn’t work. Teehee.’ Yeah! That way we don’t have to put in so much effort.”

“What the hell is wrong with you!? Listen, what we’re trying to do here is a rescue
operation! What do you think will happen if you go entombing them in the dark!?”

“But…doing something this inconvenient is like going on a suicide mission…”

 I stared at the ruins. The shape of the mountains was weirdly distorted. This was
probably just the part where the building was buried, however…well, it was freakin’ massive.

“W-Well, it is certainly…” Naga began to trail off.

“Y’see?”

“B…But, you know, since they are ruins, there’s probably all kinds of treasure laying
around…” she followed up with a half-hearted reminder to herself.

I flinched. Treasure…

With an audible creaking, I turned toward Naga. “Ehe…Treasure…Eheheheheh.”

“H-Hey! Are you alright!?" Looking my way with a creeped-out expression, she began
slowly backing away.

“Yes! Treasure! In a place like this, there might not only be gold, silver, and jewels! There
could be unknown magical books! Or maybe a bunch of long-forgotten magical relics! I’m sure
of it! Eheh…eheheheheh♡”

Punctuated by a flash of lighting in the background, I psyched myself up.

“W-Well okay then, but, can you at least stop laughing like that? There’s
something…really unsettling about it…” Naga grimaced at me.

“Setting that aside, now that it’s been decided, let’s go inside!”

“Yes, Yes… Honestly, you’re so moneygrubbing, that’s why they call you an
underdeveloped, spell-crazy idiot, you know.”

“…Who called me any such thing…?”

“Hmph. Me, obviously.” Naga posed, brushing back a loose strand of hair—

Wham!

My kick landed squarely onto the provided target of her head.

*****

The labyrinth was quite deep, as anticipated. We’d been walking quite a bit since
entering the ruins, but still had not managed to reach the inner depths. Our path no longer
illuminated by the light from the entrance, I had summoned a Lighting spell above Naga and I to
guide our feet.

The halls and ceiling that stretched out beyond us for who-knows-how-much-longer were
covered in stains and cracks, and along the walls—a line of torches carved to depict the head of
a mythical beast. Strange bugs I’d never encountered before occasionally ran across the wall as
they were startled by the light. They were quite pretty. The once sweet air stagnating down here,
it was delicious.

I knew I shouldn’t have come down here……

By this point, my physical stamina, let alone my willpower and determination, were
already almost completely exhausted.

“Heyyy Naga. M’beat. M’tired. Lessgo baaack.”

“What are you doing, whining like a child!? It really doesn’t seem like you have your
usual gusto for this job. It can’t be…you’re not slacking off just because I’m the one who got it
for us, are you?”

“That’s not the point. Look at it this way. Job or no job, why should we have to come to
the rescue of people who came in here just for the hell of it and lost their own way? If they didn’t
have the confidence or skills to handle it themselves when worse came to worse, they shouldn't
have even been down here in the first place.”
 “Well, you do have a point…”

“I do♡ I totally do♡ So let’s go back already, Naga♡”

“However! There’s no way I can allow that!”

“ …Uhg, fine……Tightass.” If it was going to be like this, nothing to do but hurry up, find
them, and finish the job. “There’s so many random turns, though… If we make one wrong move,
we’ll be in the same mess, too.”

As I said this, I took the chalk in my left hand and marked the wall with a skritch. Just as
Naga opened her mouth to reply to me…suddenly, she stopped, placed her hands on her hips,
and her gaze wandered around as if she was searching for something. I also froze in place,
what I heard was—

“A voice,” Naga muttered sharply.

Without a doubt, resounding somewhere unknown from deep within that dark labyrinth
was the unmistakable sound of a person’s voice. Although I couldn’t make out the specifics,
multiple voices seemed to be engaged in some sort of conversation. If it wasn’t some kind of
hallucination, then I was sure that must be the party we were searching for. It was possible it
could be another group, but the chances of that kind of coincidence were basically nil.

“Oo-y! You alive in there!?” I shouted as loud as I could.

There was a moment of hesitant silence, and then all at once, several clamoring voices
arose. Among the ruckus, there was also a high-pitched, metallic clank, clank, clank sort of
sound mixed in.

“Well…they seem to be okay, at any rate,” I sighed in relief. “I’m so glad that they’re
alive…it would be such a pain to find a corpse that can’t even respond back.”

“How is that…the first thing you’re worrying about?” Naga glared at me with reproach
written all over her face.

“Whatever, let’s continue ahead,” I said as I started heading towards the direction the
voices seemed to be coming from.

*****

In this maze full of randomly echoing sounds, and after a number of wrong turns, the two
of us finally arrived at our objective. A single massive door in the middle of the corridor, into
which a relief of a giant dragon’s head was carved. The voices echoed just beyond it. Evidently,
the door was not able to be opened from the inside, judging by the excessive number of bangs
that came from the other side.

“Yes, yes! I’ll open this door now, so hush up and just step back and wait for a sec!” I
yelled, while carefully examining the dragon’s head carving, and—Aha!

I knew it, there was a trick! It wasn’t very original, but I suppose I ought to have been
grateful it wasn’t something stupidly complicated. As I pressed the dragon’s eyes down with a
click, I heard the faint thumping of a mechanism somewhere. Then, making a fainter sound than
I expected, the door slowly opened outward, and a dozen or so men tumbled out. They were
dressed in exceedingly ordinary villager-style tunics and pants.

The only thing special worth mentioning about them…was that they’d already all been
turned into zombies.

“AIYEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Both of our screams reverberated through the darkness of the cavern.

*****

Zombies are probably one of the most well-known among undead monster types, so
there’s really no need to go into detail regarding their power and longevity—let alone just how
tenacious a creature they can be, but at the very least, their movement is slow and clunky. If
you’re any kind of a magic-user or even a soldier with a magical weapon or two, they’re easily
defeated.

And naturally, to the likes of Naga and I, they’d be a walk in the park, but—well, one
must factor in psychological impact. I mean, how would you like it if you were wholly unprepared
to suddenly have a half-rotten [description deleted due to exceeding censorship guidelines] -ing
thing come flopping out on you? If you were shocked and disgusted like that, you would have
naturally booked it too.
 “You…You know…” Naga, shoulders heaving, panted out between labored breaths after
having run for her life. “We wouldn’t have had to flee like that…if we’d just blown them away
back there…”

“Yeah…You’re probably right…”

“I wonder though…if those were the people who got lost in here…,” Naga muttered.

“Who can say…the chances of that are high, but they could also just be totally unrelated
zombies.”

However, that voice that responded to our calls…assuming it wasn’t a joke, anyway,
must have been a psychic phenomenon or something. (I call foul!)

“But what are we going to do, Naga?”

“About what?”

“We made such a sloppy escape just now that I’ve completely lost our way.”

“…Hmph, why are you worrying about something like that?” She said with a tilt of her
head and stuck out her chest haughtily.

“Huh!? Could it be, Naga, that you……”

“Of course!” She puffed up even more. “I never even knew our way from the beginning!”

Pop, poppop. I definitely heard the sound of my own skull cracking just then.

“What the hell are you bragging for!?”

“I just wanted to remind you not to lose your head!”

…Uwahhh…

“You just have no comprehension of our current situation, do you!?”

…Uwah…boo…hoo…

“And what does that matter?”

Boo-hoo, boo-hoo, boo-hoo…

“For cryin’ out loud…!”

 Booo-Hoooo!

It was just then that we first noticed it, the sound of weeping (?) coming from further
down the corridor. Indistinctly forming the outline of a person, a white mist faded into the inky
blackness of the passage.

A ghost! ……But well, a rather attention-seeking sort of ghost. Overwhelmingly lame,

really. Setting that aside, about ten or so of them were slowly making their way toward us.

“Hmph! Leave this up to me!” Naga declared confidently.

I couldn’t disguise the look of horror that crossed my face. Every time I got a glimpse of
this woman’s unfathomable abilities, I witnessed nothing but considerable damage,
indiscriminate to friend and foe alike, in her wake. To this day, she seemed wholly unaware what
a walking disaster she was.

In a panic, I moved to nip her in the bud. “B…But Naga, you shouldn’t use the fancy
stuff, if this place collapses, we’ll be in big trouble.”

“I know, I know.”

Just after she responded, she began to chant a small spell and formed a sigil with both
arms in front of her chest and abdomen—
 Just at that moment, I suddenly realized what she was doing. If it’s that spell—!

“Don’t, Naga! If you do that—”

But it was already too late. She closed the sigil and raised her arms high above her
head…then abruptly crumpled to the ground.

I knew it……

I quietly stepped over to Naga, who was tearfully holding both cheeks with her hands.
“You stabbed yourself in the cheeks with the spikes on your shoulder guards, didn’t you……?”

“…Mhm…” Naga confirmed in a miserable whine.

…Don’t cry, I’m begging you…

In any case, I had to step in here and do something! I quietly thrust out my right palm
and finished casting my spell.

“Blam Blazer!”

From that same palm, a shockwave of blue light burst forth, and as it pierced the ghosts’
forms, they all backed away shrieking and dissipated into the darkness.

While this spell can affect humans and other ordinary creatures with a blast of energy, to
the undead and Mazoku, it acts as a force of light that causes the utmost pain and discomfort.
Furthermore, since the shockwave is not born from air pressure and can be precisely aimed, it is
able to be used safely in narrow passages such as this one.

“Hm, a little impatient, aren’t thee?” said an unexpected voice from behind us.

Wh—! I wheeled around abruptly, but from that direction, there was neither a shadow nor
even a hint of anything having been there. Perhaps the voice was coming from a pipe in the wall
and directed out of one of the beast-head torch’s mouth or something.

“Thou art quite lively little sacrificial lambs. Truly worthy of becoming my own flesh and
blood.”

Sacrifices…? Does that mean this is……

“Who are you!?”

After a deep laugh at the now-recovered Naga’s question, the voice said, “I am called
Steindorf, Lord of this labyrinth and a noble descendant of the dark blood…”
 “A vampire, huh!?” I shouted.

Vampires. Probably one of the most popular among undead monster types. Surpassing
the abilities of ordinary humans in almost every aspect, there were even some who could make
use of powerful spells.

“Heh…a masterful deduction.”

“Well duh! I mean, first of all, the incredibly pretentious manner of speech, not to mention
that name I can’t even pronounce! …Above all else, in this whole wide world, the only egotistical
morons who would call themselves some crap like a ‘noble descendant of the dark blood’ or
whatever, are those of the vampire clan!”

…After a long moment of silence passed, “…H-How dare thee…”

Oh, he’s pissed.

“Lowly humans who do naught but run their mouths!” As he spoke, a light emitted from
further down the corridor, “Then show thyselves before me at my throne! I shall show thee the
power worthy of one of the dark nobility!”

“…Let’s just leave him be,” Naga said in a solemn tone. When I flatly shook my head in
response, she looked at me suspiciously. “Why? Dealing with this kind of a bother isn't like
you… Could it be that you’re just obstinate?”

I shook my head again. “Think about it, Naga. This might be a good thing. Ancient ruins,
a vampire who inhabits them. What do you suppose you’d find in a place like that…?”

“Of course!” Her face lit up.

With a clap, we slammed our hands together for a high-five, and our voices harmonized
magnificently.

“Treasure!”

Following the direction of the light’s origin, the two of us headed off down the gloomy
corridor. It was dark, but thanks to the Lighting spell I held above my head, finding our footing
was no trouble at all.

Along the way, I glanced over. “Naga.”

“What?”

“You got completely suckered in, huh?”

 “Oh?” She came to a halt and gave me a quizzical look. “What are you talking about?”

“Back there, that vampire called us ‘sacrifices,’ right?”

“…Come to think of it, I guess I did hear him say something like that.”

“What I’m saying is, if my hunch is right, there were never any villagers who got lost
down here to begin with.”

“Huh?” Naga rolled her eyes.

“Oh come on, you hear about this kind of thing all the time. Some monster or other
moves into the mountains nearby and starts demanding lives in tribute from nearby villages.
That’s probably what’s going on here.”

“……”

Apparently, she still didn’t get it.

“Let’s put it this way: Once upon a time, a nasty vampire lived in these ruins and
occasionally demanded sacrifices from the nearby village. But, as you might expect, they didn’t
want to sacrifice their own villagers. And then, one day, an unknown traveler looking for work
shows up and the villagers tell them a lie, ‘We have victims in need of rescue,’ and send them in
here. As the sacrifices, you see?

“—In other words, you were swindled by the village chief.”

“Wha…What did you saaaay!?”

“Argh! H-Hey! Can’t……breath……cough, cough…phew. Don’t go suddenly strangling

me out of nowhere!”

“I’m so angry right now, I just couldn’t help myself!”

“Don’t be taking it out on me, dammit…!”

“Well, if that’s the case, I’ll have to pay my respects to the village chief when we get out
of here……” she said, smirking with dark implications.

Oh boy, he’s gunna get it…

“Anyway, we have to deal with that vampire first. Let’s get this over with,” I said and
started pressing ahead again.
 *****

Before long, the two of us stood in front of a large door.

Why are the big bosses always in a big room deep inside a place with an ostentatious
door like this? Although, no matter how novel it would be, I guess it would be kind of sad to have
a boss lying in wait for us in a toilet or something……

“Thou hast come…” As the voice rang out, the door slowly creaked open.

Inside was a large and gloomy ashen room. (As expected.) The center of the room was
elevated, upon which stood a black coffin—which then slowly opened with a creaaak.

“...I don’t really think you needed to bother with the coffin, seeing as you’re deep
underground and all…” I quipped.

The hand creeping out from inside paused momentarily. Then, presumably regaining his
composure, the lid flung open wide, and a man rose up from within. He was very tall, with
slicked-back golden hair and a black cloak wrapped around himself. …Very cliché, as I
anticipated.

“It is with great pleasure that I greet thee for the first time. I am Lord of this labyrinth, the
Vampire Steindorf…” Politely addressing us, he bowed deeply.

“Ah, whatever.” I waved my hand in a very annoyed manner. “If you wanna go, let’s go
already.”

“W-Whaaat!!?”

Oh. He’s super pissed now.

“Very well! Then as thou wish, I shall tear thine throat from thy neck!”

…Okay, but no one wished for that, though.

“Grahh!”

The vampire’s whole body began to overflow with power. Every muscle rippled and
bulged out, and then—he started transforming! His human form became horribly distorted, black
fur sprouting from everywhere, and his ears grew massively in size—

“Gri-yahh!” Upon completing the transformation, he let out a roar of delight.

He’s…a giant bat!

 This is the part where your average Joe was supposed to tremble and scream in panic, I
guess, but…what was I supposed to do with something so weak…? With that overly massive
body, he was barely managing to even unsteadily remain afloat in the air.

“Hya.”

Naga casually chucked a small stone, and it struck the huge bat squarely on its head
with a ker-thunk. With just that unsatisfying climax, the vampire’s transformation was undone.

“N…Now thou hast done it! Lowly mere humans! I shall use the strongest of my secret
powers to bury thee!”
 As he declared this, with a hyah, he thrust out both hands and began chanting a spell.

T—This is…

“Now then! Flare Arrow!” In front of his outstretched fingers, poof! An arrow of flame
about the length of a carrot materialized.

…………

“Go forth!”

At his command, the flaming arrow—well, if I had to compare it to something, at roughly

the speed of a dying turtle—crawled unsteadily through the air.

“Bwahahaha! Behold! Thou art so terrified, thou cannot speak!”

Wobble-wobble-wobble-wobble……
 Naga’s and my eyes remained fixed on that sorry excuse for a “Flare Arrow” as it inched
towards us.

“Now perish! Ye fools who wandered into my domain! Bwahahahahaha!” Vampire

Stein-or-whatever-his-name-was kept roaring with laughter for quite a while…and seemed to
have nothing else to say.

Silence.

All three of us said nothing, merely staring intently at the Flare Arrow (?) as it struggled
and wobbled along its way.

“—Aah! I tire of waiting!!” Having run out of patience, the vampire stormed up to the
flaming arrow at the halfway point, and then fwish! Without warning, he snatched it out of midair
and held it in front of my face, “This will suffice!”

…That was quite a skillful Flare Arrow. You’re normally not able to do this sort of trick
with it. But anyway, it was only polite to express some sort of reaction to having an arrow of
flame shoved in your face…probably… I unsheathed the short sword from my waist, and flicked
it away with a tink.

Wow. It’s still wobbling on the floor… What kind of Flare Arrow is this, anyway…?

“Oh nooo! It cannot be! My Flare Arrow!” He rushed over and kneeled down next to it,
“Worry not, I shall pick thee up!”

I plowed into his side with a well-placed kick.

*****

“…Damn, you’re totally broke.” I spit, uttering a line worthy of the villain role as I stepped
beside the vampire, who had been tied up with a magically-imbued rope. “Hey, Shuu-baby, don’t
you have anything else?”

“Sh…Shuu-baby…?”

“It’s way too difficult to say ‘vampire’ or ‘Steindorf,’ so don’t get thy panties in a twist.
A-N-Y-W-A-Y. So you don’t have any other treasure?”

“Aiieee! I…I’m terribly sorry. That is all there beee!” He exclaimed in a tearful voice. It
appeared Shuu-baby had become a bit weak in the knees after taking a couple of blows.
 “It can’t be helped,” Naga said while tossing the knapsack stuffed with treasure over her
back. (Note: It was a terrible look for her) “He doesn’t appear to be lying, in any case…Let’s get
out of here, Lina.”

“You’re probably right…” I also lifted up my own pack. “The problem is, how exactly do
we get out of here?”

She began muttering to herself, seeming to be thinking deeply about it. If I could at least
get back to a place where I left marks with my chalk, it would be a cake walk from there… It
would be a pain, but I supposed I would have to look for one together with her.

“Hey, Naga?”

“What?”

“Did you happen to notice any of the chalk markings I drew on the walls from time to
time?”

“Ah, those things—” she glared at me with a stern expression for some reason, “That
was rather indecent of you, you know. I’ve been meaning to scold you about your bad habit of
scribbling all over the place.”

“…Eh? Scribbling…you say…?”

“I erased them on the spot. Every one of them.”

Wha—!

“…Ah…Ah.…Aaaahhhh……!”

“Honestly…you’re not a child anymore.”

“Yooooou! What the hell did you do!? Those weren’t scribbles! They were directions to
the exit!”

“Then you should have clearly said so!”

“Even if I didn’t say anything, if you’d used your brain a bit, it should have been obvious,
right!?”

“I didn’t think about it even a little!”

“For the love of all that is holy! Stop bragging about that!” I screamed, practically
hyperventilating. Just as I was about to give up completely, I suddenly realized something. I
stepped over to Shuu-baby again. “If you don't have any more treasure, that's fine, but in
exchange, would you please tell me the directions to the exit?”

“Feh……” At my request, Shuu-baby smiled coldly for a moment. “To do that, I must tell
thee the tale of the night I first arrived here.”

“No, you really don’t…”

“I decided to make this place my second home, and at once descended upon the chief of
yon nearby village to demand monthly tribute. Once obliged, I took my leave and secured my
sanctuary deep within these halls.”

…Oh no…you’re not saying…?

“It is rather more complicated in here than anticipated. To be perfectly honest, I have
naught the faintest idea where we are.”

Crackle!

This time—I was positive something in my brain broke.

“By any chance, are you lost as well?”

Picking up on Naga’s inquiring tone, and yet somehow completely blind to his own
failings, Shuu-baby smiled wistfully, “Hm…I wonder if that is what happened. It appears my
subjects indeed planned to sincerely deliver the promised sacrifices. However, before reaching
my dwelling, those sacrifices perished within somewhere, and found themselves possessed by
spirits or turned into zombies… It is no wonder then, that I find myself in dire hardship recently,
especially in regards to meals. Ha ha ha.”

Snap… Mr. Vampire’s stupid laugher dealt the finishing blow to my mind.

“I’ll bury you! I’ll destroy you! You moronic vampire!!”

“Hiyaaaa! Help meee!”

“Calm down, Lina!”

*****

PS: It took four days to escape.

Never again! I will never ever accept a job from Naga again!

(Labyrinth : The End)